Friends are a Package Deal

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One of the best tips on friendship I’ve ever heard was from one of my daughters.

My daughter, who was in middle school at the time, got in the car one day with tears filling her eyes. Once we pulled out of the parking lot, she let the hurt roll down her cheeks.

“Wanna talk about it?” I asked.

“Nope,” she whispered and turned away. The rest of the night, no matter how hard I tried, this normally vocal child wouldn’t open up. So, the next morning, I was surprised when she bounded down the stairs, smiling.

“Hey! You look happy!” I said as I thanked God for whatever brought back the sunshine to my girl’s life.

“Mom,” she said with great authority, “I’ve decided something about friends. They all have good stuff and bad stuff. Things you like and things that annoy you. You just have to decide if you can handle their package deal.” How wise. How true.

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Uninvited by Lysa Terkeurst

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What to Say When You Don’t Know What to Say

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When one of my good friends found out her cancer was back, I was so heartbroken.

Before passing away, she said, “Lysa, I need to know my girls will have women to look up to. Will you help speak into them and guide them toward the Lord?”

I had no idea how to do this right. But I knew I could be a female voice that constantly whispered, “I love you.”

Uttering these three simple words into the deep grief of two brokenhearted girls didn’t seem like much, but God used it in profound ways.

Have you wrestled not knowing what to say to a friend going through a tough time?

A simple “I love you” in conjunction with meeting a practical need is a great place to start. Love is a beautiful thing to bring into the gap of the unknowns.

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Related Resources:

The Best Yes by Lysa Terkeurst

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Check out all of Proverbs 31 Ministries Resources

What Do You Really Want?

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Conflict can be messy and uncomfortable, but what if it can actually be good?

Recently, I was hurt by something a friend had done. I realized I had a choice to make. I could get all caught up in the emotion and make this a much bigger deal than it needed to be, or I could try a better perspective.

As I read some passages from the Bible on staying calm, a question came to mind, “Lysa, what do you really want?”

That question helped me cut through the emotion and focus on a solution. I called my friend and we talked. I asked her if the solution I thought of might work. We processed it together and made some great progress.

I think there’s something to this. If we can identify what we’re after, we won’t get lost in a whirlpool of feelings along the way.

For more encouragement, sign up for our next Online Bible Study

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Unglued by Lysa TerKeurst

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Are You A Petal Picker

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You know, there seems to be a fundamental need inside most women to be liked.

We want other women to totally get us and walk away thinking we’re pretty neat. It’s like we carry around a miniature scale. On one side we put our coolness, and on the other side our total dorkiness.

Put a group of us women in a space to mingle for a while and when we leave, I guarantee many of us will walk away playing that daisy petal game in our heads: She likes me … she likes me not.

I’ve had to choose to mentally set those thoughts aside. I’ve had to retrain my brain so God’s truths interrupt my negative thought patterns. I’ll look up at God and say, “God, You not only like me, You love me … and that’s enough.”

For more daily encouragement download our FREE app First 5, and spend your first moments of each day with God.

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Uninvited by Lysa Terkeurst

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Friendship Hardships

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You know what I secretly hope for in my relationships? Safety, easy connection and acceptance.

I want to make a friend, keep a friend. Live in a blissful place of fun. But that’s not always reality.

Recently, one of my favorite friendships was suddenly filled with tension and hurt.

As frustration crept into my heart, God reminded me that Satan is my real enemy, not my friend.

And the most effective weapon against my enemy in this situation would be to honor her with my thoughts instead of focusing on the hurt. So I wrote down three positive statements about my friend; then two more came to mind.

Doing this helped me get in a much better place before talking things through with her. We honor God when we honor each other.

For more encouragement, sign up for our next Online Bible Study.

Related Resources:

Uninvited by Lysa Terkeurst

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Making Time For Friends

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I love being with my family, but the other day I realized I really need time with my friends!

It’s so easy for me to let my schedule get filled up … almost to where I don’t have any time for friends. Between work and laundry, groceries and kids, church commitments and homework, I can go for weeks, even months, without any chance to have girl time. What about you? How often do you plan time to go to the movie or meet for coffee with friends?

Even if it’s just going for a walk or sitting on the porch and talking for 30 minutes, it’s important, and I need it more than I realize!

On a side-note, Jesus called Himself our friend. So, He must have created us to have and be a good friend. I think He wants us to plan ways to get some valuable time with friends to talk, laugh and share our lives together.

For more encouragement sign up for our next Online Bible Study.

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A Confident Heart DVD and Book Bundle by Renee Swope

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Permission From A Friend

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I got an email from a friend strongly encouraging me to take time off from work to finish a project I’ve been trying to get done for months!

Lysa knew that I’d had a really stressful month. I’d been traveling a lot and just couldn’t keep up with life, family and work. She was concerned because she knew I was frustrated, by the fact that I had to keep postponing my project.

It seemed like one unexpected need after the other just kept coming up.  She knew it would be hard for me to take time off work to do something I really “wanted” to do, instead of something I “needed” to do.

Sometimes, we need a friend who’ll give us permission to do something for ourselves.  As soon as I read Lysa’s email, I knew it was what I needed to do. It was permission from a friend, and direction from God, to take a break and do something I enjoy.

For more thoughts on friendship sign up for our FREE daily devotion Encouragement for Today.

Related Resources:

A Confident Heart Devotional by Renee Swope

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Check out all of Renee’s Books & Resources

Friends are a Package Deal

Play

One of the best tips on friendship I’ve ever heard was from one of my daughters.

My daughter, who was in middle school at the time, got in the car one day with tears filling her eyes. Once we pulled out of the parking lot, she let the hurt roll down her cheeks.

“Wanna talk about it?” I asked.

“Nope,” she whispered and turned away. The rest of the night, no matter how hard I tried, this normally vocal child wouldn’t open up. So, the next morning, I was surprised when she bounded down the stairs, smiling.

“Hey! You look happy!” I said as I thanked God for whatever brought back the sunshine to my girl’s life.

“Mom,” she said with great authority, “I’ve decided something about friends. They all have good stuff and bad stuff. Things you like and things that annoy you. You just have to decide if you can handle their package deal.” How wise. How true.

For ideas on forming friendships that last, follow us on Facebook.

Related Resources:

What Happens When Women Say Yes To God by Lysa TerKeurst

Connect with Lysa on her blog, on Facebook and Twitter

Check out all of Lysa’s Books & Resources

Believe the Best

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Recently a friend said something that could have hurt my feelings. I’d invited my friend over for dinner but she seemed hesitant about committing.

At first, I was tempted to feel like she was wondering if a better offer might come along, which hurt. The reality is I know this friend loves me, and I know she likes spending time with me. So, I made the choice to believe the best in her and let any hurt go.

A few days later she confided in me that when I called, she and her husband had been having an argument about her making plans without consulting him. I was so glad I’d made the choice to let go of any hurt feelings that I’d had.

How about you? Do you have a friend that you need to make the choice right now to believe the best about?

For more encouragement and insights on friendship, sign up for our FREE daily devotion Encouragement for Today.

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Unglued: Devotional by Lysa TerKeurst

Longing to be Heard

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Last week a friend called and asked me to please come to her house right away.

I had several things on my to-do list that day, but I chose to stop and take time to go help my friend.

On my way there, I felt a little nervous because I had no idea what she was struggling with. I prayed and asked God for wisdom with my words, actions and reactions.

When I finally arrived, we sat together and talked. Well, she talked and I listened. She talked about her recent issues and how she was coping.  She talked about her feelings and how they were affecting the situation she was in. And she talked about the resolution to her problem.

On my way home, I couldn’t help but smile. All that my friend needed was a listening ear. She didn’t need my advice or a ready solution to her problem. She was simply longing to be heard.

For more daily encouragement sign up for our FREE daily devotion Encouragement for Today.

Related Resources:

What Happens When Young Women Say Yes to God by Lysa TerKeurst

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