The Marriage Lies

The Marriage Lies


The first five years of my marriage were really tough! Hi, I’m Lysa TerKeurst for Proverbs 31 Ministries.

There was bitterness and yelling. There were slammed doors and thoughts of giving up. There were, marriage lies:

    * I married the wrong person.  

    * He should make me feel loved.

    * There’s someone better out there.           

I believed those lies and said so to my friends who nodded mostly in agreement. But one didn’t.

She gently asked, “Lysa, what does the Bible say?”

The Bible?! I didn’t think her “religious suggestion” would help me. But her question just kept echoing in my mind.

Reluctantly, I turned to some of those verses she suggested. But the love in my relationship didn’t feel like the Bible was describing, kind or patience.  It felt broken. However, that first step triggered events that eventually saved my marriage!

Boy, am I thankful for a friend brave enough to challenge me.

For more encouragement visit

Related Resources:

Unglued book and bundle by Lysa TerKeurst

Connect with Lysa on her blog

Follow Lysa on Facebook and Twitter

Check out all of Lysa’s Books & Resources

Capture His Heart/ Capture Her Heart by Lysa TerKeurst

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  1. Lysa TerKeurst what were them scriptures please?

  2. But what if your husband is not living as what the Bible says on how to treat a wife and you keep trying and then ready to give up.

    • Sheila Mangum says:

      We prayed for you today. We prayed God would touch yours and your husband’s heart with His healing love.
      You are loved,
      Proverbs 31

    • I agree with you on this question. My husband believes in God, but has had affairs in the past and still lies to me. There is no trust. I pray and pray about it and I know God can change people, but when is it time to say enough? I don’t want to be someone’s doormat for another ten years.

  3. Ana n. Mosley says:

    Yes, WOMAN! What were the verses!?!?! Ahem… Please, ma’am? 🙂

  4. Mil, read I Peter chapter 3. Especially the first few verses.

    • I so believe in 1Peter chapter 3. So much so, I became a Proverbs wife…many times I was told by my husband. Married 23 yrs., giving my all to Christ (on staff at a very big church, after my kids grew up), took my kids to church everytime the doors were open and we worshiped. My son is a minister & my other son loves the Lord & going to college for Christian work. My daughter, has been wayward since 17 and is now 30. She wants others to believe that she is a Christian on the outside, but in secret, she is FAR from it…. BUT anyways, after 23 yrs. of loving, doing, encouraging, praying, helping, supporting and him constantly putting me down…. I find out he is having an affair with my aunt. A very nasty divorce. I wanted reconcilliation, but he wanted to be with a harlot….her dead husband was my uncle and raped me continuously as a child… my husband knew this. It was a horrible divorce. It cost us $150K, as I fought it and I LOST EVERYTHING! I lost my daughter, she of course took her family and went with the harlot and her father. They tried to pull my sons and my parents in with them, but after awhile, they realized he was at fault and was having the affair that had been going on for sometime. NOW>.. I try to encourage my sons (both married over 13 yrs.) to follow I Peter! They saw and felt the hurt I went thru. I still have a difficult time with it. This happened in 2006. I weep, and you can bet that saten has a field day with my mind… it is a constant struggle to keep my mind focused on Christ and my life obedient to the Lord. I just wanted MIL to know that while 1Peter is what we need to be obedient to, but we as women of ungodly husbands (who claim to be Christians), can not allow them to bring us down. Go to a womans fellowship and relate to other woman going thru the same. Pray together and be prepared. hugs

      • Sheila Mangum says:

        Charlene and Becca,
        Our heart’s were touched you reached out with such love to your sister! You are treasures.
        May God bless you with the desires of your hearts. Charlene, your poured out heart has been heard!
        We prayed for you both!

  5. Where’s the rest of the story ??

  6. Mil, Leslie Vernick is a Christian counselor with some wonderful resources.

  7. Pamela Flasch says:

    Please give more details? Is this just a teaser for a longer article?

  8. Mil, is your husband saved? Is he just being insensitive or is there mistreatment happening? 1 Peter 3 is referring to unsaved husbands. If he’s saved and mistreating you, definitely maintain your own pure conduct, but he is under the authority of the church. Matthew 18 would be a good passage to read. I don’t know how bad your situation is, so it’s hard to advise you beyond that. Hugs and prayers coming your way…

  9. Hey friends. So sorry I was away today and unable to give you the link to Lysa’s blog post where this radio show originally came from – where she shared a lot more.

    Here is the link. Praying God will use this to encourage your hearts and breathe hope and healing into your marriages.

    Also, Lysa’s written 2 amazing marriage books. Here’s a link to find out more about them

    Praying and so grateful we have this little place online to encourage one another. Thank YOU for being here!

    • Crystal Frost says:

      I was engaged from Sept 2012 -July 2013 during which time our love flourished even thru some minor arguments. In May I was hit by another driver & sustained head trauma & eye injury & add that to our stress of remodeling his house, buying our joint home & caring for my home, planning a reunion & a wedding. We finally snapped & I moved out of “our” home back to mine. Big mistake… I realize. Can’t fix relationships bring apart.
      I tried. Allowing him space. Then trying yo keep communication open. Suggesting the premarital counseling. He moves forward to communicate. Dances w me in his arms. Then next thing he’s pushed me away & he’s angry. Satan has tried to use all kinds of things to hinder our reconciliation but his love for me is still evident & my unconditional love is very strong. He is a brand new believer & nit strong at all in faith. He acts ashamed, gets angry, can’t tell me he doesn’t want yo try to heal his brokenness & our relationship.
      My cousin who is leach like & totally uses men is interested & possibly has initiated an affair w him although he denies it.
      I am waiting for GOD to perform HIS miracles of reconciliation. I love this man… Feel GOD brought us together after 30 years from childhood. Please pray for Ron & I.
      Help me. I need good ministering words. Obviously more than this simple email can say…. Please!!!!!

      • Sheila Mangum says:

        Precious Crystal, Thank you for pouring your sweet broken heart out before God. He knows all that is in your heart; even every deep hidden part. We have prayed He move mightily in your heart, heal the broken pieces, and restore for you what is His good, perfect, and pleasing will. You are loved, treasured and adored. May God’s love for you be so obvious to you! Merry Christmas, Love~ Proverbs 31

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