Born of Desire

Born of Desire

July 30, 2015

“Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.” James 1:15 (NIV)

Amber Haines

What a dreadful verse for me to write about here, I know, but when the fog and fear of grief landed on me the year after my baby was in the hospital, I broke down, and I need to say this: I became fractured.

I desperately wanted control of my son’s health, and for that matter, I wanted control of anything in my proximity. This is how I thought I could hold myself together … how I thought I could hold the whole world together.

It’s interesting how sin creates a role reversal between God and us, and often when we’re in the midst of it, we don’t see what we’re doing. There’s no way we would purposely go into a situation and say, “Yeah, I think I would like to bear the weight of the world here.” Instead, those thoughts are more like tiny seeds inside us, and these seeds are often the hidden seeds of desire.

I didn’t know back then how any desire not satisfied in Christ would divide me from my community and shatter me from within. One from the other (wife from husband, mother from sons) and one from within (mind from body from soul). We all fracture this way when we confuse our desires and aim for satisfaction outside of God.

It was like backward walking for us during those days, a process of un-recovery. Seth topped off his drinks in secret. I loomed in online shopping carts as a way to tap into another world, a way to inject a sense of hope. I counted pennies and bought clothes and art and arranged an imagined life of control and order and clarity while my boys ran unanswered circles around me. I planned and spent our money as if I were buying sanity.

Deeper into the bottle and deeper into my to-do lists and imaginary occasions to wear beautiful clothes, we engaged ourselves in an undoing, and with every undoing (the drinks, the shopping, the disappointed stomp), I entered deeper inside myself, desire so muddy I didn’t know I wasn’t whole. I didn’t know how much I refused to acknowledge my brokenness, walking around in the pieces of pride.

I sat for hours making lists. I listed foods my son could eat. I scanned my schedule and wrote down every move I would make. I wanted control of myself, to make myself a life. The desire to survive created in me a striving I had never known. I was striving so hard that I had to lean into the kitchen counter to hold up my lungs. I was working to breathe.

Every step of striving was a wall, a barrier against love and a refusal to trust my Heavenly Father. Every effort toward control made me more numb, and if you can’t feel, you aren’t alive anymore. Control was killing me. Just as our key verse in James 1:15 points out: sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.

All along, maybe I just wanted a little bit of my own kingdom, a place where I knew I would be okay, but I wasn’t made to be queen. I was made a beloved and free daughter. I wasn’t made to be divided by desire, bearing the fruit of rage, anxiety, isolation and exhaustion.

I was made for an abundant life whose desires bear the unhindered and eternal fruit of righteousness.

Heavenly Father, You are the giver of every good and perfect gift. You’ve given Your Word, Your Spirit and our Savior. You give me desires that lead to life. Help me recognize my desires and give me wisdom to know what will be born from them. Bear in me the fruit of Your Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self-control. Lord, this is my freedom. Please set me free. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

TRUTH FOR TODAY:
James 1:18, 21, “He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created … Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.” (NIV)

RELATED RESOURCES:
Amber Haines’ new book, Wild in the Hollow: On Chasing Desire and Finding the Broken Way Home, brings hope for everyone who has longed to feel free, authentic and whole.

Do you wrestle with desire? Head to Amber Haines’ blog today for more encouragement.

Enter to WIN a copy of Wild in the Hollow by Amber Haines. In celebration of this book, Amber’s publisher is giving away 10 copies! Enter to win by leaving a comment here, letting us know why you’d like a copy for yourself OR whom you would give the book to, if you won. {We’ll randomly select 10 winners and email notifications to each one, by Wednesday, August 5.}

REFLECT AND RESPOND:
Sometimes we want a very long list of things, but even those surface-level things can tell you something about what you really need from God.

What is it right now that you desire? How might that desire be fulfilled in Christ?

Amber HainesClick here to pin the imageClick here to download this free printable PDF

 

© 2015 by Amber C. Haines. All rights reserved.

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Comments

  1. Michelle says:

    Learning to look to God for fulfillment rather than “stuff”. It is a learning process. Would love to read this book myself.

  2. I need to figure out a way out. Maybe this book is it??

    • Daniela, it isn’t up to you to figure the way out. God has done that for you. The book may be very helpful for you, but Christ–not a book–is your salvation.
      Lord God, my Daniela stop doing and start being–may she rest secure in the knowledge that she is your daughter, your wonderful Creation. Wrap her in your love, comfort her with your Spirit, guide her with your strong right hand, free her with your truth, cover her with grace. Amen.

    • Daniela, I so know this feeling, and I find myself saying it over and over. The good news seems to always seep in more when I give up (surrender) than when I try to figure it out. He hears your prayers, and He’s worth waiting for.

    • Question: “What does it mean that Jesus is the Lamb of God?”

      Answer: When Jesus is called the Lamb of God in John 1:29 and John 1:36, it is referring to Him as the perfect and ultimate sacrifice for sin. In order to understand who Christ was and what He did, we must begin with the Old Testament, which contains prophecies concerning the coming of Christ as a “guilt offering” (Isaiah 53:10). In fact, the whole sacrificial system established by God in the Old Testament was for the coming of Jesus Christ, who is the perfect sacrifice God would provide as atonement for the sins of His people (Romans 8:3; Hebrews 10).
      The sacrifice of lambs was very important in the Jewish religious life and sacrificial system. When John the Baptist referred to Jesus as the “Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world” (John 1:29),

      Everyone has sinned—done things wrong. “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, being justified as a gift by His grace through the redemption which is in Christ Jesus; (Romans 3:23-24) From “big” things to “small” things. Because we have all disobeyed God in one way or another, we are all deserving of the judgment for this, which is death. Jesus Christ came to take our judgment upon Himself, and though He was innocent, He willingly died on the cross for us,. When He did this, He took all your sin upon Himself.

      The Bible says that Jesus “was wounded for our transgressions…and by His stripes we are healed” (Isaiah 53:5). When you put your trust in Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, you are set free from all judgment for your sins and from the punishment of death. Everything you have done wrong in the past is forgotten by God and He makes you into a new person: “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!” (2 Corinthians 5:17)

      Verses
      “As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us” (Psalm 103:12).

      “If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved” (Romans 10:9).

      “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9).

      “God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.” (2 Corinthians 5:21)

  3. As an incoming freshman to college I’m longing for purpose in this life. Purpose other than having best friends, successful athletics or academics, or the appearance of perfection is my heart’s true desire. The past two years of high school I had to grow up a lot through hard situations I had no control over. Coming out of that feeling numb I want God to show me His desire for my life. I generally don’t like reading but this book is something I’m interested in.

    • Lisa S. says:

      Lydia,
      I’m truly amazed with your perception of life at such a young age. I applaud you for seeking guidance. Just like all of us who love Christ and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28), we’re design to be light in this broken and dark world (Matt. 5:14-16). I greatly encourage you to be just that as you enter into the world of college life. You’ll surely see God’s truth, purpose and calling manifest in your life.
      Be Blessed,
      Lisa

    • Lydia, as you grow older you will see more seasons come and go through your life. College is a season and your purpose during these years may well be to learn – academically, socially, and spiritually. And that is a tremendous purpose. Certainly you can reflect the light and love of Christ through your words and actions during this time, but make sure that you keep in mind that you are a vessel and not a mirror. The light needs to shine through you, not bounce off your exterior. If the things inside you are murky and unstable, this might be a great time for you to work on clarifying that (through prayer, Bible study, wise counsel), and allowing yourself time to process and renew.

  4. I struggle with this verse and to know it’s true meaning. Like many i have a hard time with sin and my own desire for what I want. I have been a Christian for many years. When the verse says sin gives birth to death what does that mean? Does it mean eternal separation from Christ?

    • SD, when you remain in sin, your spirit dies. It’s not a physical death but you are crushed under the weight of that sin and, spiritually & emotionally, you are dead. But Christ sets us free from that death. Once we become Christians, our eternity is with our Lord and Savior. But here on earth, sin can separate us from Christ. That’s where the need for repentance comes in. I hope this better clarifies it.

    • The apostle Paul—just like you and I— wrestled with this reality: He said, “I don’t understand myself at all, for I really want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do the very thing I hate.” For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do” (Romans 7:15). But regardless of this current tension that we all endure, God is good and provides a way for us to live our life in a manner that pleases Him. Just as He has given us salvation through Jesus Christ, He has also provided forgiveness and cleansing for us through confession and repentance.

      The Bible says, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (I John 1:9). To confess means to admit, as when David said to God, “Finally, I confessed all my sins to You and stopped trying to hide them. I said to myself, ‘I will confess my rebellion to the Lord.’ And you forgave me! All my guilt is gone.” (Psalm 32:5). The next step is repenting of your sin, turning away from it and walking in the opposite direction. As Christians, we do not want to be like a child who, though he apologizes every time, continues to willfully disobey his parents in the same way, day after day. Though God’s forgiveness will never fail, we do not want to take advantage of His grace. Instead, “Since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us” (Hebrews 12:1).

  5. Gail Downs says:

    This really touched me, in a lot of ways. My sister has had so many traumatic situations, health issues and problems with her children, that she has almost become a recluse in her own home. She was always so vibrant and full of life, but with one thing after another happening to disrupt her life, she draws more and more into herself. It really affects her relationship with her husband, as well as the rest of those of us who love her. She is very rigid in what she thinks is right, or how she thinks people should act, or do. She is a Christian and is the first to say that, without God, she would not make it. I have told her God would not be pleased with how she is doing, but she says she knows that, but that there is nothing she can do about it. She is depressed, most of the time, but that is not an excuse to emotionally and physically remove herself from a life that we know God would want her to have, so YES, I would love to have this book for her. Breaks my heart and that of our 85 yo mother. Thanks for considering my sister in your give-away. Blessings to you and yours.

    • Lisa Rankin says:

      Gail, Thank you for posting. You could have written the very same words about me. Although I am not depressed, I work from home, have lost both parents and a step-daughter, gone through my son’s (now 4yrs old) cardiac diagnosis and open heart surgery, and my own cancer diagnosis and recovery, all in the past five years. Your sister is so blessed that she has someone to love and pray for her. I know how she feels… totally exhausted! While praying for her, I feel the depths of her despair. Until we have actually experienced what someone else has, we have no idea the physical and emotional toll it takes on us. Please do everything you can for her and pray, pray, pray for her. Please be very patient and heap encouragement rather than condemnation upon her. I guarantee she is doing the best she can and is beating herself up enough. God Bless You Both!!

  6. Miranda says:

    I would love to win this book for myself. My husband recently got sentenced to 25 yr for a crime he didn’t commit. I’m now left alone to raise our three yr old and six yr old. I didn’t work so now I am looking for my purpose in life. My purpose was always to raise my kids in a loving home. During this trial, we have had to move in with my parents, which is very difficult at times. I am trying to look ahead towards the future and take one step at a time, but it’s so overwhelming at times. I long to feel whole again.

    • Miranda,
      I too just had a husband sent to prison for a crime – but his was from a sin of lying . He kept it from me and everyone for many years and was a trusted person in the community and a believer. I have lost my son at 18 and have a daughter with special needs and a mother with dementia who lives with me. I feel like I have “taken on the weight of the world” . This article helped me today to again re-focus to the Lord – but it seems so frightening to trust someone, yes anyone – even though HE is the ruler of the universe. Prayers of support to you!

      • Miranda says:

        Praying for you Cindy!!

      • Charlotte says:

        Cindy I too had a mother with dementia. I remember crying out to God one day for help. I was looking at a booklet of local services that our city had mailed to every home. As my tears of frustration at my own inadequacies began to stop, I turned the page of that book and at the very bottom found an adult daycare. I had no idea there was such a thing. It turned out to be an answer to prayer. They were so good to my mother. She attended for over eight years until just two weeks before she passed away at 90 years of age. When I had no plan, God had a plan. God wants you to know He has a plan for Your life also. He already knows Your needs, He just asks that you seek Him so He can walk with you as you move forward.

        Oh Sweet Father, You know Cindy’s needs, You know her trials. You have known her since Your creation. You anticipated her birth with joy and thanksgiving. Help her to see just how much You care. Give her the strength to come before You and ask for a personal relationship with You. A place she can lay her burdens down, for You know they are too hard for her to carry alone. Help her to find someone to come alongside her as a friend she can talk too. We ask this in Jesus’ name. Amen.

  7. This truly spoke to a dark corner in my heart that I have been trying to keep hidden. We are in our second adoption process. I feel so stupid to even say this, but I am once again battle thoughts of, “I want our babies home now, and not when God has already planned for them to be here.” I am grasping at so much to stay in control. And yet at the same time I am recognizing that this is what I am doing. I am in such a battle everyday with my mind and emotions. Standing on His promises and taking every thought captive. We might be here awhile.

  8. Susan G. says:

    What a gift of encouragment and warning today through your beautiful words. You put words to how I have acted and have also watched others act out… I pray I will never again try to ‘control’ my life, but instead give myself totally to the Lord and let Him lead and guide me daily! Thanks for being so transparent and thanks for this today!
    Blessings!
    ps Can’t wait to read your book!

  9. Christine Valtierra says:

    Thanks for this message I really needed that specially the powerful prayer. I would like to win this book because I want to feel free, I struggle with my emotions, they often control my life and I’m tired, I need to be free and I need to stop feeling guilty all the time. Everytime I let my emotions ruin my day I feel like a failure. I know I’m a child of God but why is my mind not responding to this? I need to be free in Christ now!

  10. EK Morris says:

    This really hit home for me – our daughter is almost 19 months into treatment for a rare form of leukemia. She’s doing well, thank God, but I saw a lot of myself in how the author coped, or didn’t. Thanks for all the reminders that sin really does lead to death, not because God is punishing me, but because that’s what sin does.

  11. Kassandra says:

    My mother needs this book so bad, she is a total control freak and from the years I can see how little by little it has taken pieces of her heart. She needs to be reaffirmed that God is in control and loves her even when she doesn’t have it all together, because let’s be honest none of us ever really do. It’s God, who at the same time holds our hearts and the world in his hands. For the women in bondage right now i pray in the mighty name of Jesus for deliverance and victory from whatever is holding you down, remember “So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” John 8:36 God bless you all Have a great day

  12. Rachel C says:

    me please!!!

  13. I like the way she puts the uncontrollable desire of knowing our near future and be ready for it by identifying our nature of having total control of all our situations. God is the one who is in control of every part of our life and we are only his servants.

  14. Cathryn says:

    Thank you, I really needed to read this today.

  15. Great concise & straight to the heart of the matter– definitely need to read & upon finishing book. — straight to my daughter…..

  16. Bobby A. Sturgeon, Jr. says:

    Perhaps the Lord will use this to lead my wild-child home

  17. I’ve struggled to find freedom from anxiety and trying to control everything in and around me for such a long time. This book could really help me with that.

  18. Lydia V says:

    As someone who just found out she is anxious for about just anything this book sounds like a huge help. And from me, to our book table in church!

  19. Lizzie D says:

    Hoping this will help me work out what I need to do to reach my daughter as she is so lost & unhappy at the moment.

  20. Debbie Griffiths says:

    This spoke straight to my heart, but not FOR me, for my precious daughter (31 years old). Her husband has walked out on her and their 2 children (3 & 7) for other women. Not just 1 woman, many women. He loves the chase and the victory of “owning” them.
    Needless to say my child is broken. And she too is now trying to control her life by controlling “things”. I don’t know how to help her or what to say.
    Maybe your book is just what she needs.

  21. Cyndikay says:

    I would love to win this book, after reading your devotional, I realized that although I am steeped in ministry, an ordained minister ,focused on kingdom work,….I too am fractured, and I want to overcome this, heal, and move forward in ministry victorious.

  22. Chrissy says:

    YES! Wow, thank you for being so real and honest about the whirlwind we easily get sucked into when unknowingly desiring control. I was in such a similar place. Just a few days ago I had an earth-shattering moment where God finally opened my eyes to see the lies I had been living under by attempting to control every detail around me. How beautiful it has been to see that He truly IS in control and, thankfully, that is not my job. I’m having to remind myself daily (sometimes, constantly), but it’s now been the main conviction and awareness in my Spirit. What a freedom I’ve been given through it, though! Thank you for confirming it today with your testimony and scripture.

  23. Amber’s search for HOME so resonates with me, (a wife and mother of two) as I feel the weight of ‘un-settledness’ and seek the Lord for the next step – “We’re searching for home—a place of acceptance, a place of fulfillment, and a place of identity. At the basest level, we suspect that home is the place where we’ll find our fit, where we’ll finally be free.” I’d LOVE to read it and then share it on to someone else.

  24. Sharon C. says:

    Thanks for your message today. It sounds like we have a lot in common. I’ve been trying to figure out the right way hone and to bring my family together. Instead I feel the brokenness in my life. Knowing I can’t fix it but just surrender it to God. He’s the God of miracles. I don’t want to see the hurts of my life continue on to the next generation. Thank you for being open and honest with us. God knows all so there’s no use hiding anything from Him. To God be the Glory, now and forever. I just wish it hadn’t taken me so long.

  25. Stephanie Woodruff says:

    I need this book

  26. Victoria says:

    I found your writing so engaging. Thank you for sharing your struggles. The prayer was much needed in that we need wisdom to discern the outcome of our desires.

  27. Crystal says:

    I have been struggling with my desires and dreams. I want to be a better wife and mother. I want to stop the desires of wanting “something different”. I want to be content and let God use me where I am.

  28. Ruth Qi says:

    These days while I was preparing to serve in a Christian-based Kindergarten, I was continously struggling with the desire to study in U.S. which is a lon-held dream by me . And While this desire rose up again and again, it hinders me from devoting to the service here whole-heartedly, which makes me feel sorry and embarrassed several times. I want to read this book and find help from it to be freed from this struggle. That’s why I ask for this book.

  29. Jacquie van der Waals says:

    This post by Amber Haines touched me very deeply as I am struggling with so many deep-seated holds om my life that sin has. Reading it reminded me that I am not alone in my struggles and that I need to turn to God.
    I would treasure this book as a way back to God and to rekindle my love for Him and in so doing, rebuild my marriage and relationships with my children again.

  30. I often wonder why we, as long-married couples, shy away from turning to each other and instead to alcohol or at list- making, things that are mentioned here? God brought us together and wanted us to be partners for each other but when it comes down to the most difficult times, we as mere humans, tend to still trust in ourselves more than Him. Thanks for this reminder that WE are not in control and HE is always there for us , if we are willing to be there with Him.

  31. Amber, I’d love to win your book.

  32. Suzanne Smith says:

    I would love to read this book. Been down a similar road and I related a lot to today’s devotion.

  33. It has been a constant battle my life to work at trying to be in control of everything and everyone. Your words opened my eyes to the knowing it is seeds of evil that cause me to act this way. My desire is to be God’s loving daughter. Lord, help me one day at a time.

  34. Laura Shifflett says:

    Amber’s Proverbs 31 devotional today resonated with me as I, too, have struggled with desire trying to fill myself up with worldly ‘treasures’. I would be grateful for a copy of her book & willing to share with others who may need the message ( I have a friend in mind). I also got caught in the trap of uber-control thinking the more I could control, the more “perfect” I could make my life appear (key word), the more satisfied I would become. That did not work out so well for me. In fact, it made me even more miserable & stressed out!

  35. THANK YOU!
    You always seem to be right on time:) God is FAITHFUL, GRACIOUS and so AMAZING!
    Thank you for your faithfulness and sharing your heart. Sometimes I seem to be overwhelmed by the things that take place in my heart and life, but when I tap into God’s WORD and the encouragement of ~sisters in Christ, I gain strength and wisdom. THANK YOU!!!!
    In Christ’s AMAZING love,
    Cookie~

  36. Thank you Amber for sharing God’s truths…at this time in my life and my family, I can see the ‘little foxes’ and snares that are pulling us away from God’s word and spending time with him. These little things are growing and continuing to separate our family as well as our desire to seek more meaningful and fulfilling time with the Lord. I, as a wife and mother, pray and seek for His guidance and wisdom to remove these ‘controlling’ things and plant in us a hunger to return to seeking Him in our hearts and minds. Peace and blessings to all.

  37. Tiffany cress says:

    Oh, the rotten desires of my worldly self! I long to be set free from shameful desires. Desires that produce decay and death! Money, fancy stuff, a bigger house, a better marriage, a more perfect husband, sweeter children who dont fight, a better body, an easier life. I have struggled with the desire to be wanted that led me seeking favor outside my marriage. While we have walked through healing in that area, sin still tries to trip me up daily. The enemy knows my buttons and is out to kill my family. I thankfully am very aware of this, but desires still loom deep down that need to be all together uprooted. I woukd love a copy of this book. Might just be an answered prayer!
    TC

  38. Steph miller says:

    Looks like an amazing book. I know I could use clarity in this area.

  39. I would love to receive a copy of Amber’s book. I too was a person who desired it all, only to come up empty! God did a restoration in my life that only He can! Thank you so much for your encouragement today!

  40. Ruth Gunnett says:

    After months ministering to my mother in law following her sudden diagnosis of stage 4 breast cancer..taking her to chemo treatments, spexialists , and spending hours sharing life with her and hearing her amazing testimonty . I would love to read and share this book that reminds us that our earthy desires are of the flesh and we can be free and share in the joy of Gods plan abd His ways..pressing on in what He has called us to do! I would love to get a copy of this book and to share it!

  41. Jessica says:

    I am lost controlling my life, and desire freedom, I would love to read this book.

  42. Becky L says:

    I have spent my entire adult life, over 30 yrs, trying desperately to “keep it together” and always end up in the same place, tired, desperate and lonely. Just this morning my prayer was that He would would open my eyes and give me the courage to change what needs to be changed so that my face would continuously reflect His glory. Praying.

  43. I was very moved by Amber’s entry today, July 30th. The topic of control is a powerful one, especially for mothers. Amber helps to strengthen my faith with her reminder of our Lord’s constant, fatherly care. I intend to start following her blogs, and write down the scripture passages. I know that Wild in the Hollow will be a tremendously useful resource, as I work with young women in my church.

  44. I see so many posts here for help and wisdom and my heart pours out to all – may we all accept God’s blessings through today’s posts like this, through the faithfulness we experience of His love through others. In my journey I am working on leaving all my desires to the Lord and I pray for His guidance and my ability to see it, hear it, accept it and courage to engage it. Thank you for sharing such an amazing guide and for sharing the blessings of your answered prayers with us!!

  45. I’m taking the challenge of giving my first 5 minutes of the day to my Heavenly Father. And today didn’t disappoint me! Amy’s book would be a great read for myself and a friend.

  46. Jessica says:

    Amber just told the story of my life. It is so comforting to know I am not alone in my struggles. By keeping silent about them, I have allowed my struggle and sin to consume me. Thank you for throwing me a life line and showing me there is a way out!

  47. Christina says:

    Thank you for sharing your heart. This devotion really resonated with me. Over the past few years, I have withdrawn emotionally due to painful circumstances. I distract myself with work, to-do lists and chasing the illusion of control only to come up empty handed and feeling more and more like the person God created me to be is slipping away. It seems that so many others are struggling with similar feelings…praying for all of you.

  48. Evelyn Hundley says:

    Amber’s devotion spoke to me as my husband is out searching for happiness in the world away from God.

  49. Yes, I understand about the need for control – I’ve done it all my life. letting go and trusting God is still so hard for me.

  50. Paige Billeaud says:

    An amazing reflection on the topic of desire. Thanks be to God for His grace, compassion and mercy.

  51. Sonja Harpe says:

    Reading your devotion makes me desire for more. I would love to have this book for myself and to share.

  52. I would like this book for myself. I am a control freak and yet there are so many areas that are out of control in my life. It’s like I can’t trust God enough to turn it all over to Him.

  53. Truly enjoyed the article today. The honesty in which it was written is so needed today.
    So, thank you.

  54. Angela Raphael says:

    I would love a copy of the book because I really enjoyed today’s decotion.

  55. The way God leads us is fasinating. I just started reading a book about desire and read this devotion. Would enjoy having the book to study this subject fuether. May God bless you abundantly.

  56. As I was reading this it was like every word was my past written down for me. Praise God that he chases us until we come home to him!

  57. I am thankful that through reading this portion I realise I am not alone. Also to realise that no matter what desire I battle with, are never above God’s ability to deal with.i looked back at my life to say I think I have battled with different desires in my life and harddy placed all in His hands. My most troubling desires have been related to my relationships with men. As a teenager I was pregnant before wedlock, I thought the young man I was seeing would fulfil my desire to be loved by a differend sex. I carried the dependency into my marriage which finally fell apart, I am in my second marriage and still battling with desire. I have tried alchohol, extramarital relationships, acquisition of several items but nothing has worked. I need God’s fulfilment. I am dehydrated and need water from His hands.

  58. Karla segelquist says:

    I love sharing good books with friends and this sounds like a great one!

  59. nancys1128 says:

    If Amber’s book will provide tools to get over the need to control things well beyond anyone’s ability I definitely need it.

  60. Donna cavanaugh says:

    This has touched me. I have read different articles and nod yes, sometimes it is just another person letting out what goes around in their mind. It sounds like a record skipping ( letting my age show),so many articles saying the same things over and over. A hard life sees many truths. Sometimes these articles say what Is written in Gods word but those words didn’t work the same in your life. I learned it is not about me. This says it so much better.

  61. Danielle says:

    Wow. Thank you for that raw truth and openness about your struggles. While I am not going through anything quite that significant, I am still bearing the burden of lack in self control and desire it deeply. I don’t know how I got here, I want so badly to get free from the foothold of satan. Help!

  62. Kaylee Vida says:

    I have been feeling hollow, begging God to show me why. This morning I read this, and I realized in so many ways I have been chasing my own desires, and not necessarily God’s.

  63. Roxie C says:

    I prayed for good friends and guidance as i’m completely broken and doing my best to just breathe. I woke up at 5 a.m. because the moon was so bright shining through my window and I ended up here. I found some inspiration. I need more mornings like this. Thank you. 🙂

  64. Barbara Bean says:

    I would like to have copy of this book because it speaks to me. I always find myself trying to put bandaid over my pain. Or just not deal with anything and just go to bed and hope it goes away. And I can’t do that anymore. I can’t keep all of that sadness and anger and frustration pent up that way. I feel like I’m going to explode. I cover all of that with controlling everything. I feel like I have to micromanage everything. And that’s just not realistic. One person can’t possibly take that on. But I’m rambling now. I know your going to get a thousand emails from this but it felt good to know I’m not the only one. Thank you.

  65. Ruth T. says:

    Boy can I relate. We pray for leading and guidance – but one move far out of state left me in much of the same situation as the author. Im beginning to see the realization of my need for control over the past when things felt out of control. And

  66. I would love to read this book as i tend to try and control the world around me!

  67. Tamy Pollman says:

    I would love to give the book to my granddaughter. She just turned 16 and is getting baptized soon. What a wonderful gift this would be.

  68. Ellen Cole says:

    I struggle to keep control in my own hands as well. If I win this book, I will read it and then donate it to our lending library at church.

  69. This devotional just resonated within- touched an unspoken corner of my heart that needed pure truth – I see how I tend to just exist to get by – thank you for awakening a numb, buried part of my soul – this book is definite read for me

  70. This devotion so spoke to me. I am curious to read…..the rest of the story.

  71. Michele says:

    I would Love to win this book! I also find myself searching the Internet shopping and FB to fill my voids in life. When really the answer is simple…. Turn my eyes upward. Why does something so simple seem so hard at times? Fill me with desire

  72. I had never looked at trying to find control of things in my life as not trusting God. I think this will help me be closer to Him.

  73. Sandi Colwell says:

    The book sounds like exactly what I could use right now. The desire to control is strong and I need to take a step back.

  74. Jeanne Morris says:

    From the depths of depression and brokeness, I have begun to climb back up to living and not hiding and sinking any further, clinging to God’s promises while reading everything I can to encourage my walk with him. In my own walk I long to share my story to help lift others up, as so many have done for me through their own stories. The stories have lifted me up and given be strength and courage to not only live my life again, God’s way, but to live it with hope and joy again.

  75. Paige E says:

    This sounds eerily familiar. Especially the fight to breathe in the midst. Sometimes my struggling with control feels like I’m wrestling with the archangel. Oh the lists of food. Oh the arranging and rearranging of my life like checkers. I’m so tired. So how do we get out of this?

  76. The honesty of this devotion is beautiful. I wonder how many people we could reach if we would all share our stories so openly. I would love to read more in the book.

  77. This is so me, I’m an angry control mom. I’d love this book

  78. I loved the devotion and it makes me want to read more! I want to be filled with the fruit of The Holy Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self-control! Thank you.

  79. This devotion was almost like someone had gotten inside me and took my life and my recent revelation by God of my problem with control. I also have a son born with medical issues, now 17, all these years I had to control the events in my life to feel safe. Through recently tough times God has once again shown me He is in control and i can let go and let God! This is an important lesson as my son will soon face his 2nd kidney transplant, as 5 of my children have now left home to start their own life with 6th child close behind them, with raising my youngest three agree 5,3,&2, and with facing challenges of being a blended family, a step mom to triplets that are now 9. Balancing work, the home, time for my husband, and the demands of our family farm. Thank you Good for being in control!

  80. Thank you so much! This devotion is an eye opener. This is exactly what I am going through right now and this gives me hope because I know God is answering my prayer. He spoke to me through this devotion and I thank God for using you as an instrument to touch the lives of other women. I know today I am in The journey of healing through Gods grace.

  81. Diane V says:

    I need encouragement with helping to let go and let God.

  82. Philann Geiser says:

    Her phrase “any desire not satisfied in Christ would divide me from my community and shatter me from within” spoke to me. I would very much like to grow in Christ and work through my controlling attitude. I think this book would be helpful

  83. After my retirement I’ve had already 4 jobs ( in the past 2 yrs). My retirement was not chosen, it was forced due to lay-offs. I don’t know what to do with myself and am changing jobs like I change my sheets. I need direction. Winning your book may help. I am on a fixed income, so anything free is wonderful!. Thx for your writing. It is speaking healing and direction into my life. E

  84. Ruth Boccuzzi says:

    Wow, I didn’t realize I am kinda doing the same thing (trying to control things) until I read your devotion. I think ‘my trusting God’ issues are bigger than I thought since my divorce. Thank you for sharing your story so my eyes and heart could be opened!

  85. The one thing I don’t want to give up? Control! Would love to read your book! (And my daughter could certainly use it, too!)

  86. I would love a copy of the book you are giving away. Thank you for the opportunity to win it.

  87. I would love to hear more about your transformation post realization. What did you do and how did your husband fare?

  88. Wow–I just read your devotion, and our stories are quite similar. My youngest became sick, my father was dying, I became estranged from family members all around the same time. It was as if my world was ending and I was completely out of control. I would go from being completely unfeeling and numb to sobbing and crying out as a song came on the radio (MercyMe’s Bring the Rain played a lot then). I have such restrictions on my kid’s activities (food allergies, germ concerns due to my son’s condition), pillows have to be just so, my kids have to be just so, and I just bought a dress that I probably will only wear once when my daily attire is more like yoga pants and a tank top :(. Sigh. After reading this, I realize I am still struggling with control even though I thought I was free of that (or at least much better from those dark days a few years ago). I appreciate your devotion and it was quite timely for me.

  89. Kathy Teeple says:

    You put into words what I have been doing and felt for many many years. So many wasted years of trying so hard to be the put together person by having list after list to keep my life orderly and productive. At least the appearance to others of a well organized on top of it life. All at the exoense of not being there for my own children and husband. This past year I fractured, I like that word better than what I use, losing my mind/crazy. Fractured is a truer description. I know Abba Father is genly and not so gently at times exposing the sin. Calling me to true freedom in Christ and who He created me to be. Thanks for your transparency.

  90. Jessica J says:

    Wow! What a word this morning. I pray father God for the wisdom and discernment to recognize when i am not letting YOU take control. Deliver me from me and Jesus take the wheel!!!!

  91. Sherri Y. says:

    Control…learning to let it go & give myself & those around me freedom to be who God made them to be…its something I’m learning a bit more of every day.

  92. Kirsten says:

    Hi-I enjoyed your honesty and insight.I like your witness about how God sets us free!!!

  93. I cannot even begin to explain how much this touched me. This was me, for 2 years after the loss of my mother. So much ive been having marriage problems for a year. God is good and I am pressing into him. Good too know I’m not the only one.

  94. Sharon Gingerich says:

    My desire and what it tells me about what I need from God…good thoughts! Thanks for sharing. I’d love to win the book because I struggle with desires too…they appear godly and yet am I desiring them for selfish reasons???

  95. Ruth Anderson says:

    God’s word speaks, but He iften uses others journeys to reach us when we become distant.
    I wiuld love to read this book/journey.

  96. I would love a copy of this book. My husband and I are facing divorce. He wants out. He’s put his desires before God’s will, and because of it we’ve suffered tremendously. I am a firm believer in God’s power, even to save my marriage. I would like this book for him.

  97. Boy can I make some list, never really thought of it as a control issue but I realize it certainly does take me away from God and rooting my desires and trust in him. Would love to dive deeper through this book!

  98. Fractured and seeking control. I have seen the pattern in my life and desire to learn more about and embrace the freedom and grace fiund in Christ. Thanks for sharing your life

  99. Michelle Hopkins says:

    Would love to win!

  100. Kara Simpkins says:

    I really need to read this book. I keep trying to control when things feel out of control.

  101. I would love to win this book. This devotion this morning was a God devotion just for me!
    I just started opening your devotoions a few mornings ago now! What a blessing! Thank you for being used to help others!
    Thank God for you and your ministry!

  102. Michelle Hopkins says:

    I didn’t finish my comment… Would love to win. Your words in this devotional really spoke to me.

  103. Kathleen adler says:

    I have walked all my life trying to feel whole. I have been a pastors wife, a nurse, teacher, mom, grandmother and now I take care of my mom with Alzheimer’s. I am almost 62. I am tired. I have loved and served the Lord since I was 17, and now I ask when will I be free. I am tired and would love a copy of this book.

  104. Thank you, this devotional touched my heart.. sometimes I wonder if I can ever learn to follow. I know His ways are perfect yet I try to grab control.. I still need to learn to desire Gods’ will and everything will work out for my good. I know it’s not necessarily going to be an easier road but the journey will be much fuller.

  105. Pauline Murray-Russell says:

    Thanks for this this morning. I would love to have a copy for more stability as my faith is at best weak..this gentle reminder will keep me in check. Bless you

  106. notabride says:

    I want a break. I thought having a physical relationship would help. im single unmarried childless and tired. I cared for an ill father survived abuse, for years, dealt w family conflict, financial frustration, hateful church ppl and homelessness tho staying w family. now mom has dementia. I mean I dont drink smoke or do drugs when do I get a break? and now I have no one to lean on share intimacy with and frankly im a little ticked, so when I hear ppl spouting Gods laws. im starting to not care, only reason I do bc my sins may make life worse and who needs that. so like you want to take shopping (add vice here) too? I mean seriously? when do I get to stop looking at fb while God blesses all my friends, with marriage help and clean homes and my mother is a hoarder. I mean something has got to give do I ever get to experience the good stuff or is that only other christian. im starting give up. and it affects my wanted to obey when He says lay the desire down. will He ever provide relief or not.

  107. Amanda Limbaugh says:

    Wonderful devotional. I struggle with being in control as well. Would love to read the book.

  108. Barbara says:

    “Desire to be set free”…Thank You JESUS …

  109. Karen Bruene says:

    I have been trying to control my eating habits on my own instead of letting God control me. This devotion is helpful for me.

  110. i so identify with this devotion! controle is so sneaky that finaly you find yourself being controled by controle! but freedome in these areas to surrendering situations to God because He can do better than i can…letting go and surrender is key for me.. would love to read this book ..

  111. Christina Horton says:

    Wow! Amber Haines, how have I missed your writings? This is incredibly powerful- and beautiful. If I don’t win a copy I will certainly purchase one.

  112. Wow, what a thought provoking study this morning! Makes me realize how often I seek the things that are not of God…the approval of others, material things and busyness to fill my days and thoughts… This book is on my must read list! I long to desire nothing more than the Living God and quit chasing the things that will not satisfy.

  113. I was just like this. Trying to control my world. I held so tight to my son fearing for his life. I went to She Speaks last weekend. I met a gal named Kelly who said I need to read your book. So I shall!!

  114. Wow…talk about hitting the nail on the head! This could be my life…Thank you for the chance to win a copy of this.

  115. Joyce LeBlanc says:

    I was very moved by the devotional I read by Amber today. Our daughter was engaged to a Christian man, and without any warning, he broke it off and shattered our girl’s heart. They both were seeking to have God be a part of their new life, but when this happened, she turned away and turned to online shopping as a way of escape and a way to have an outward appearance that everything’s OK. We can clearly see what is happening, but she doesn’t want to hear it. I believe this book may help her to see that she’s on the wrong path. Please consider me in the 10 you pick – as I would gladly pass this on to her in hopes that it would be the tool God uses to get her attention.

  116. When my life feels out of control, I, too, seek to control anything and everything within close proximity. Would love to read the book!

  117. Thank you so much for this wonderful piece of wisdom I so desperately need. I am going through some issues with my husband who is hospitalized and needs to get to a facility that will take a Veteran with part A social security. He is a renal patient with a pressure ulcer needing to be attended too. The V.A. rehab has him listed as the 4th person and he’s 100% . The 1st person has been waiting since June, 2015. He doesn’t have part B and most facilities require that. This has been a difficult time, and I am willing to consider a nursing home with PT & OT as a last resort. At any rate, my prayer for him and myself is that I will” Let His Will be done,” and stay prayerful, faithful and focused. This

  118. Thank you for your message. I needed to hear this today. As much as I try to follow God everything seems out of control. I want control and the more I try the harder it gets. I need to return to following God and giving God control. Thank you.

  119. Robin Hunter says:

    There are some days that things resonate with me more than others, today this devotion touched me profoundly. So much of what I read was like reading shout myself. As I approach the 10 year anniversary of my daughter’s passing, I find that I am struggling more than ever before. I have always been one with control issues, but since losing her that has increased ten-fold, and I’ve continually struggled with trust and giving it all over to God…even though I gave a strong foundation if faith, and I know it’s what needs to be done. Iwould love a copy of this book to read as I continue on my journey to find my way through my brokenness and onto the path of healing and learning to live fully again. Thank you, and God’s blessings to all of you who struggle and suffer.

  120. I would love to win a copy of this book for myself. To many times I find myself chasing after material things, when instead I need to be searching God’s word and listening to him speak for fulfillment.

    • Felicia says:

      Thanks for letting me see me. This is where I’m at in life. But now I’m tired. I need God to be control. These sinful desires, I want to be released from. I feel as if my desires has taken God away from me. I can’t feel or here him. Yes I want to be made whole and set free from these desires.

  121. Cheri' Winn says:

    Amber’s words were more akin to a work of art than words on a screen – a piece painted by human hands and undoubtedly inspired from God. I thank her for sharing her pain, her journey and the wisdom given to her. It has inspired me to inspect the seeds of my own desires.

  122. I had twins in January last year that had many months in the hospital and several surgeries. Once home there were weeks of therapies, follow ups, and more problems. Now I have gotten through theses things and my babies are healthy I am still struggling with the darkness of these times. I desire more children but I am scared to death of living through something like that again if the baby wasn’t healthy. I am paralyzed by fear daily. I fear that if I become content then something else bad will happen. I feel unworthy of any other blessings or to be happy because the Lord heard my cries for my babies and allowed them to live and now thrive. For some reason I have convinced myself that the Lord’s blessings are limited and therefore I am limiting Him and His power to heal. Reading this devotional this morning has helped me get out of bed and try again today to put away fear for at least today, day by day is how I have to take this. I would love a copy of her book. Thanks!

  123. Thank you for this. I think at some point we all try to “control” our lives at one point or another. This is very eye opening. It is so true that NOTHING of this world will give us peace and understanding like our God and Savior. I pray everyone has a very blessed day and gives God control as He knows what is best for our lives.

  124. Susie B says:

    I’m his Child! Even through thick&thin trials ..I am always weeping and reaching out for his AWESOME Hand of Grace & Mercy Praise his Precious Name! I would like a copy of this tenacious book on following His Will..NOT MINE!

  125. Just last night, I made another one of those “lists” that define the world I think is mine…budget,insurances,rent and on and on.As usual, just when I think the list is complete, I add two or three more.
    Except for one or two more that can’t actually be added as in the familiar days gone by, those of a wife ,not a widow.
    What do I desire to put on my list?
    Oh, I don’t know…maybe what was at the top of David’s list which was to make sure he kissed his granddaughter,daughter,wife goodbye or hello as he departed for or returned from work,
    Just this morning I awakened to the sound of what I thought was his car horn.
    Naturally, I thought it was his because I was dreaming of car shopping with him.We had just tried on a Landrover which didn’t have enough headroom because he was 6’5″.We were laughing when I heard the horn.
    No wonder I shook my head unbelievingly when the down comforter noise was louder than the sound of the car horn.
    So unreal yet real or do they call that surreal?
    So, my list writing days are filled with a cautious reminder not to slip into the choices of calling David to bring bagels on his way home from work because that leads to a spiral of grief instead of the longed for “home from work” kiss, just one more time.
    Yes, I think your book would help shape my lists into my here and now so I can step forward instead of slumping into another rut.
    Thank you for sharing.

  126. Sue Shroyer says:

    Wow! This devotion is so powerful, so deep, so poignantly honest that I think I’m going to reread it several times to devour every morsel of life wisdom I can. Plus, unfortunately this is one I’m going to pass on to every friend and family member I know whether they want it or not! Lol
    Thanks so much for sharing! And I’d love to win the book, but will probably have to buy it if I don’t win! One can’t go wrong when someone who has been there and done that, and comes out on the other side alive, starts to talk.

  127. Amber, I read you wrote down foods your son could have. Does he have allergies ? At 3 months old, my son started to show signs of allergies when I nursed him. By 4 months old, we had him tested and he was allergic to the top 8 plus some. No doctor would take us seriously, and we ended up in the hospital for a hemoglobin of 3 when he was 9 months old. Up until about May, he had 5 safe foods. I had about 12 months of dark days too. Instead of shopping, I binged ate. God has been good to us despite my sinful nature and helped saved me and my family. I could never thank Him enough and now I pray his love would be poured out on all those in dark places. I’m one lucky lady, mom, and wife to have been chosen by God to have my eyes and ears opened.

  128. Michelle Chatman says:

    I would love a copy of this book to share with my daughter.

  129. I could relate to this message because I am a control freak! I need to learn to LIVE rather than living by my lists. I would be grateful for a copy. Thank you!

  130. I’m a mom with two girls, one adoptive that we just found out has special needs. I would love to read this book. Thank you!

  131. Being a pastor’s wife there is a constant struggle with trying to keep control on the surface while underneath lies turmoil. I would love to have another resource to not only help myself but encourage the ladies of my congregation!!

  132. Goodness yes. I get so stuck in this place I don’t even realize I’m there until rage or something nasty like it leaks out from me. I love the idea of praying to have the wisdom to see the fruit or lack thereof and know what our condition is. Thank you for this reality check.

  133. Jennifer says:

    This resonates with me. I want an organized environment so I can focus on what I need to do, but when life gets too busy I spend more time on organizing and less time on doing what needs to be completed. I began a new job this week and there is the stress of learning new systems. When I come home, rather than falling into bed, I find things to “research” on the internet that really should be left for future times when I’m settled into my new job. I don’t have control in my new job since it is all new so I seek to control aspects in other areas of my life. I need to stop trying to control and just get some sleep so I will be ready to learn the next day. (If I am randomly chosen to receive a copy of Wild in the Hollow, I’d prefer an e-copy via Google Play rather than a paper copy to store in my already full apt. Along those lines, I’d like to see P31 offer all their books in an e-version.)

  134. Everyone in the world should read this book especially myself, I get a joy out of shopping it makes me feel good, but that is only temporary. I need to know every minute of the day that God is the only answer to my life to live only for Him. I would love this book to read.

  135. I would love to hear more of your story. I was in a place in my life years ago when I had no idea the wrongness of my path. Thankfully, God never loosened His grip on me even when I was pulling away.

  136. I needed to hear this. As I am a control freak! I need to let go! Would love a copy of the book. Thank you

  137. Thank you for this message. I can so relate to the image of leaning on the counter to breathe, as I find it physically difficult most nights to even climb the stairs. It is the weight of all that burdens me rather than any physical ailment that is impacting my body. I struggle constantly to find solutions for my 12 year old son, who’s struggles are so significant right now it is impacting everyone in the home. I am a fixer, someone who is constantly in motion and feels I need to actively engage whatever comes my way. This can be a blessing and a curse. I pray that I can just breathe and feel God’s presence, peace, and promptings as they come. It’s often difficult to discern his voice and leading above all the noise. I want so much relief for all of us that I long ago crossed over into the sin of trying to control all, and ofcourse with no success. Any prayers would be much appreciated.

  138. Kristen says:

    WOW!!! Anxiety and control have been two big words in my life. I was always that obedient child but as an adult when I strayed from seeking God’s path for my life…things always had to go really wrong before I realized how far off from Gods plan I had wondered. I enjoyed the honesty and openness of this devotion. The bravery showed to write about such personal things opened my eyes to my own attempts to find peace in hard situations! Praise God for honest writing! God Bless!

  139. Heather says:

    First, what a great devotional this morning! I don’t know if it’s the fact that I’m schooling my kiddo again at home this year (wasn’t planning on it) or the fact that my life is in the midst of a huge transition and the details are still unknown….or the internal struggle with a world that I know in my heart is not what God has for me….all these things (and more) lead me to that place of sitting down for hours on end…making lists…and then making lists of those lists. So desperate for an ounce of control in a life feels completely out of my control. This devotional was much needed and at the perfect time! As for the book mentioned, I had not heard of it so I went and looked it up. WOW! This looks to be an excellent book and one I feel I could truly benefit from. It would be a complete blessing to win it! If I am not one of the lucky winners, I will be putting this book on my list (haha another list 😉 to read! 🙂

  140. Minus the drinks, this is so similar to my life, my story. God has been doing a painful, but necessary work in me during these past several months which I didn’t recognize til recently. Thanks so much for giving words and clarification to my struggles and the redeeming, filling salvation He offers us in exchange. Replacing the desire for control with freedom and hope.

  141. Beth Miller says:

    Would love this book! Sounds like just what I need at this point!

  142. Crystal says:

    Such a wonderful reminder! I’d love to read this book!

  143. Deb Walton says:

    Wow. Amber really hit home with me on her devotional about controlling your life. I, too, have a son with health concerns & a husband who’s had multiple surgeries. I try my best at times to control things but must leave it up to God. I would LOVE to have her new book. I’d read it then share it forward with my sisters in Christ

  144. Crystal says:

    Such a wonderful reminder! I’d love a copy of this book!

  145. I have been fractured since I was a little girl. I never healed, but though that if I could control my situation and those around me, I wouldn’t hurt anymore. I realize that is not true, but I don’t quite know how to make it out of that spot.

  146. This hit home in so many ways, and I can see my sister and I both having bits of that struggle even after so many years of losing our parents at a young age. Would love a copy to give her, or I’ll buy one! 🙂

  147. Amen.

  148. Wow, could this devotional not come at a more perfect time! I struggle so hard with trying to take control of my life. Writing lists, planning my schedule to a T, I am working to breathe and I have plummeted. My body and mind are at complete exhaustion to where I just wanna run away and hide. I’d love a copy of this book to help me out of this deep hole I’ve dug for myself.
    Thank you for sharing this story and this sense of hope!

  149. Awesome words, Amber!
    I’m desperately searching for a godly man/husband. And I know it’s not God’s will for me to be wasting much of my time and thoughts trying to control, manipulate, play god in this area!
    Would you please pray for me to trust my Heavenly Father and His best for me? My spirit is willing (at times), but my flesh is so very weak!
    Lord, please change me so that I put You first! I want to know You more, trust You more, and obey You consistently!

  150. I am in tears after reading this. I haven’t been alive in a while, and I know it’s because I have searched in the wrong places for my desires, my thirsts to be quenched…I have looked far too long to myself and to other people to fill me. Thank you for sharing.

  151. Carol Dagley says:

    This book would so help me get my life back on track with Jesus. Our family has gone through eight very difficult years. My husband and I both loosing good paying jobs. My youngest daughter diagnosed with Bi-Polar. The anxiety and fear have consumed us for years. We trust in the Lord, we go to Church, and have tried to have a support group. But so many people don’t understand all of these issues unless you have been through them. Today’s devotion struck right to my heart. There is someone out there who struggles with wanting to control everything and make it right so you can feel whole again. But all along you simply have to keep your eyes on Jesus. The devil is always right there pulling you back down and the struggle continues. I would love to read this book and regain my armor to fight the sin and hopeless feeling that creeps in way too often. Take care and God Bless!

  152. Edna Mehrtens says:

    I would like to learn how to walk in the Lord instead of walking in the flesh. I am an over responsible person falsely believing that if I do it right I can be on top of my situation.

  153. Beth Williamson says:

    I identified so much with today’s devotion. I , too, suffer from almost an uncontrollable urge to control things. When we realized our daughter was an alcoholic/addict , I tried everything I could do to control situations around me. My efforts did nothing to help her and my marriage was almost ruined in the process. I am slowly learning to let go. She is almost two years clean and sober, but I still struggle with control issues each day. It continues to be my prayer that God sets me free from that bondage. I would love to have a copy of the book! Thank you

  154. Wow. What a wake up call (no pun intended). This is exactly what is going on in my life. Including the husband’s alcohol abuse. Help!! I need this book desperately. I have even started looking at shopping websites before devotions. I can’t control my husbands behavior or that of others involved in my ministries, I have even put one very important ministry on the back burner because I haven’t felt satisfied with the outcomes. Please send me a copy of Born Of Desire!!

  155. Stephanie says:

    This devotion completely spoke to my soul this morning. …this is exactly where I am.

  156. Estella says:

    Trust is a big issue I see…I’m not alone…I’m in good company! I like the way one author put it, this really hit home: Is God holding out on me??? Those words really struck a chord. It helped me see that deep down I didn’t think God was good. If He were He wouldn’t have allowed sexual abuse as a child. As Eve was made to question God…we too battle against that satanic lie! Over time He is showing me His goodness, love, mercy. It was always there for me….I’m just allowing it in nowadays. So as the song goes…”let it go!” I’m learning day by day to let go of my thoughts, ideas, conclusions and embracing what the Lord says in His word about Himself and about His heart towards me. And Christian music really helps….lots of the songs written today seem to address this issue( shout out to KLOVE)!!

  157. As a total control freak, your message absolutely spoke to me today. I am learning to rest in the presence and glory of my Heavenly Father, instead of in my to do lists and level of my human productivity. Thank you for sharing your journey through this message.

  158. Powerful! Thank you for sharing your story. Just the words and revelation I needed today!

  159. Really just beginning to see how my behavior tendencies are a desire for control – where I can be safe from an unsafe world…and how that desire for control on my terms hinders living free in God’s control. If I’m honest, God’s control scares me because of how I was hurt when I may have been too young to control my world – when my world was controlled by the adults He gave me – having a very hard time reconciling His desire for my good when at my most defenseless He put me in the care of people who choose not to protect me – and I’m struggling with myself for having these doubts/questions after all these years – why must I wrestle with these questions now?

  160. Susan Milillo says:

    This article speaks to my soul. Pain has also led me to escape into places of feverish distractibility. For me, my areas have been overeating, sugar binges, sleep, busyness, and moments of intense anxiety and desperation over my inability to ‘organize and structure’ (control??) my life and feel like I’m getting it all together. Jesus sets me free from all that horrible burden. It’s not what gives me peace. It’s all vanity: an empty, worthless lie that leaves me feeling more and more despairing.
    I’m a daughter if the King, as she said ! That means I’m loved. I’m still cared for as though I’m a little girl in a healthy, loving family ! Lord Jesus, I love you… Shower me with your mercy and grace.

  161. I would love to win this book so that I could give it to one of my daughters who has struggled with the unhealthy desire to control.

  162. Good morning 🙂 I would love to win a copy of Wild in the Hollow! I also long to feel free, authentic and whole. Have a blessed day!

  163. I am in shock right now. This devotion could be written by me. My husband and I are struggling with these same issues. Thank you for putting it into words so beautifully, and for giving hope that there can be healing.

  164. Montessa says:

    What a story. I have been working on letting go of control myself and accepting where God has me too. I would love to hear the rest of the story. Thank you for sharing your testimony!

  165. This really spoke to me and was what I needed this morning. I’m a mom and a teacher and I always get overwhelmed and depressed this time of year (back to school). My anxiety sky rockets as I try to anticipate how I will keep it all together when the school year starts. I want complete control of everything. Please pray for all teachers during this time!

  166. Priscilla Smith says:

    Loved the devotional today. I believe many can relate. Life in this fallen world brings trials and sorrows that can be overwhelming.
    Thank you for sharing so openly and honestly!

  167. Stephanie says:

    So many others have expressed my feelings as well
    Love the title of the book

  168. Georgette Magness says:

    Thank you for this devotion! Your words spoke true to my heart. I have been telling my husband how much I want to be wild and free in Jesus, but not feeling like I am and not sure why or where to pin point it. After reading this devotion, I definitely need to journal to examine my desires and see what they are leading me to… Thank you, again, and your book sounds amazing! Love and blessings! g

  169. Grandma M says:

    I have been trying to control the uncontrollable. My daughter is a drug addict and left her two little ones with me, so I am raising my grandchildren. I have been trying to be my daughters Savior, trying to control her actions, her thoughts, her health, but to no avail, it has taken me 4 long years to fully give my heart, my faith, my worries to our Glorious Father in Heaven. After all he loves my daughter even more than I. I no longer enable my lost daughter, I cherish the days with my grandchildren and I ask Jesus everyday to accept the things I cannot change. I would like to give this book to my lost daughter so that she can find her way back home to Jesus.

  170. Wow. Pride & Control = NO Faith & NO Trust. Thank you for this message, on a lot of levels for me today!!

  171. Terrific devotion today. I find myself running away instead of tackling the issues. Thanks

  172. I want to be free from unhealthy eating and wine struggles, also from looking to others to fill my heart cup (needs).

    2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, she is a new creation! the old has gone the new has come!

  173. Suzanne S says:

    Wow- that just took my breath away and brought tears at the same time. It is almost as if you were in my head. Thank you for putting it into the biblical perspective I need to have and reference regularly during this season of life. God is good and when I look to Him he strengthens me and when I don’t I control (haha), make lists, shop, avoid, and numb out. Thank you for your honesty.

  174. Elizabeth says:

    Need this book because I am in this place that you so perfectly describe.

  175. We are struggling with infertility for the past two years. I can relate to this post because I tried to do it all on my own. But I can’t, and so my relationship with God is better because I am giving all my worries to him. I would love to read this book for more encouragement.

  176. Laura Blue says:

    This devotion really hit home. When you feel broken you try to stop the hurt anyway you can. As a Christian you try to avoid the “big” pain numbers such as alcohol, drugs, etc…………..but there are so many little things that you use to fill the hole, and they are sins and idols just the same.

  177. Thanks for the beautiful words of encouragement. Sometimes trying to accept things we have no control over seems impossible, but knowing that there are sisters in Christ out there to help each other along makes it bearable. God Bless and keep writing and inspiring.

  178. Striving for my own elusive kingdom is an all too familiar battle. I am encouraged seeing other women’s step of faith toward freedom. I can’t wait to read the new book!

  179. I could have written this changing the names and the places. I’m 61 years old, have been married almost 40 years, have 2 adult children and 2 grandsons. I used to teach school. I did used to be joyful. Now I just appear joyful. Here I am waking from my fog realizing my life IS a picture of James 5 and I THOUGHT I was living for the LORD. HOWEVER, the HOLY SPIRIT is lovingly, patiently showing me I’ve placed myself in JESUS’s place…How WRONG!!!
    Now people – my husband, pastor, my priest-brother, and other church members etc. – think I’m one of them
    but Amber’s words spoke TR UTH to my heart. I’ve done those same lists. I have 40 years of unfinished stuff.
    I look for my FRUIT and see wood stubble and hay.
    I thank the GOD. JESUS and THE HOLY SPIRIT for their patient long-suffering. I don’t know how to stop the pain. I’m TOLD, “I’s Satan telling you lies.” I believe my SPIRIT is telling me it is HIM. Hopefully the book and the rest of her story can help me finish mine pleasing to the ONLY ONE that matters-JESUS.
    Thank you for this site and ministry! May GOD continue to touch hearts through you.
    Thank you, Helen

  180. stephanie says:

    This book intrigues me… it sounds so close to my own story. My daughter became ill at the age of 3… it turned out to be a lifelong battle with seizures that we are still fighting, 26 years later. So much of that time was a struggle just to remain strong and not break down. I need to read your book.

  181. Kristi Bird says:

    I feel confused, scared, and fearful here lately. I lay awake last night with the weight of the world on my shoulders. Worrying about my teenage sons, my husband, my relationship with my sister. I got up and saw this email and began to read it. I know it is perfect timing. I am a planner and organizer by nature..but..it seems lately God has been saying..enough! There is a brokenness in me..a deep longing for more! I’ve lost so many of my family members in traumatic deaths at a young age. That I now feel so alone, more than ever..I want to be soft and open with others. But, all I seem to muster up these days is silence, coldness, distance and distraction. Distraction is My escape..but I think God is trying to rescue me instead. I’d love to read your book..I’m desperate..

  182. Control. It’s the imaginary friend who really is not your friend.

    For me, it was the “Big Lie” that I kept telling myself that I was okay. Pride has a funny way of trying to masquerade itself. And so does rage.

    In reading your blog today, it took me back to a time when I had a nervous breakdown. It wasn’t so many years ago. It was a very painful time. A shameful time. I needed God’s help but couldn’t ask for it. Pride is such an awful bedfellow.

    So God let me drive into the wall of despair full force. He didn’t want it for me but that’s what it took for me to start looking to Him to help fix the brokenness.

    A lot of trials have come since then. Sometimes I’ve managed to let God remain in the drivers seat and others I have failed. But Praise God that He loves me, is faithful when I’m not and that He is patient.

    I would like be put into the drawing to have a copy of your book if possible but if not that’s okay.

    Be blessed!

  183. Heather says:

    Needed this.

  184. It’s so much easier to see the controlling issue in others than it is to see it in myself. I found myself tearing up as I read today’s devotion, and realized the Holy Spirit was whispering, ” Do you see yourself in the reflection of this message? Take heed. Look into the Father’s Word and draw from it. He will give you wisdom, understanding, discernment, and direction.”
    Dear Lord,
    Thank you for Your love, Your grace, Your forgiveness and Your discipline. I pray for spiritual healing above all physical, mental and emotional healing that needs to take place as I lean on You to deliver me from my destructive behavior. May You alone be uplifted and glorified. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

  185. Susan Smith says:

    This is my problem, a focus on me. So much went wrong in 2012-2013 both parents put in Nursing Home, discovering Mother had cancer, finding my husband was unfaithful AGAIN, death of my best friend, death of moth and step father, divorce, nervous breakdown, moving 2000 to get away from the pain only to be so very lonely. God please open the door for me. I know I can’t do this alone.

  186. I just started reading the proverbs31 devotions after a friend recommended them. Each devotion so far has been a true gift from God. They have been exactly what I needed to hear that day. I love how God places a friend when I needed it. And how God uses Proverbs31 ministries to glorify Him and share God’s truth daily.

  187. Lanai Flores says:

    I am in the process of learning how to find success in God’s peace. I am so used to making things happen that it terrifies me to think that I may never be successful at anything. I look at people around me and all I see is success; but, for me I just see failure. I have a hunch that this book will help guide me into that perfect peace that God has for me.

  188. Gloria Penner says:

    I just like books and my daughter borrows my books to read them…

  189. What great writing, and oh how I can relate! I’d read this book myself first and then share it with my tribe.

  190. What beautiful truth from dark ashes. My heart resonates. I’d love to read more of Amber’s story!

  191. Katelin says:

    I feel like this book describes me. I have been putting too much emphasis on what I can do and not what God can do. Really need to refocus my desires! I would love to read this book!

  192. Struggling with something this morning and ask God to speak to me through the devotion this morning. Great is His faithfulness and thank you for your insightfulness.

  193. Michelle says:

    I am ready to break free! Of anxiety, fear, worry, stress, feeling insignificant and unworthy, feeling not good enough, fighting for control while everything around me spirals more and more out of control, and finally being able to trust my heavenly Father, knowing He has me in the palm of His hand. Believing there is no need for me to worry about tomorrow because I have a God who loves me and knows what tomorrow will bring!

  194. I appreciated your honesty so much. I am drawn to someone who is transparent and real. Today’s devotional challenged me in some areas of my life. It is sometimes hard to believe that God is enough. I would love to read your book.

  195. I think it would be a good read for me. I am tired of feeling like I can’t get where I want to be. I haven’t felt while it like I can get there with God in a long time.

  196. Cassandra Mainardi says:

    I was just recently saved and it was at a time where I had finally realized that the lists will never be checked off, the house will never be spotless, and I finally realized that my desire to be in control was not only eating me alive, but it was also causing me to treat those around me with less love than they deserve. When I laid my life down I realized how much peace I could have in my heart. How much love I had to offer. How much beauty this world has to offer that I was too busy to appreciate. I still struggle to lay it all down and let go of my desire to be control. I’m working on it daily and this is the first time in a long time that I feel my soul improving rather than draining. We are struggling financially and that is when it is most difficult to avoid my desire to be in control. I often find myself avoiding God and distancing myself from God, when he is what I need most. This was perfect. Thank you so much for sharing and for allowing me to see that we’re all on this journey together!

  197. Looking at all the comments, this is clearly a topic that resonates with so many hurting women. This past year has brought a number of circumstances into my life that have made me throw up my hands and finally admit that I need to surrender control to my heavenly Father. One benefit of becoming older is realizing that you can’t and never will be in complete control of your life. I have a friend, a young mom, who is struggling with control in her life as her children suffer complicated health issues and her marriage is struggling as a result. I would share a copy of the book with her, so she can draw power and strength from God’s Word, knowing that he is truly in control, not us. My heart bleeds for her, and for all of us women who are struggling. It is my prayer for all of us that we find peace in God’s promises, knowing that “in this world we will have trouble” (John 16:33) but Jesus has “overcome the world” and we will have eternity in heaven with him! Praise God!

  198. Jennifer says:

    Wow, I have never read something that so perfectly described how I have tried to deal with my stress and lack of control.

    Now deeply in debt from a mixture of medical bills, childcare costs and “soothing” purchases, God has helped me surrender it all to him and I see a light to follow. Christ is my cornerstone!

  199. Stacy Swagger says:

    I have no magic words. Only a relatable control issue.

  200. Lea Ann says:

    I feel the spinning of the wheel… In ministry and just survived spiritual warfare! I feel pushed to read your book. I bet you and I could have coffee for hours.

  201. Since hitting my 40’s and with 5 children to raise, 3 biological boys and 2 kids added to our family from a death in the family, I started to feeling empty of purpose as the kids got older and more independent. I realized after opening myself to social media, that desires of finding my “old self” was leading to feelings of emptiness within. Thus, desires of feeling attractive again, wanting some fun again, weren’t being satisfied with just my relationship with Christ. I started seeking fulfillment elsewhere. I have come a long way from that place, but it is still a struggle as my children get older and now leave the nest. I want to desire what Christ has for me in this next chapter of my life. So this book intrigues me.

  202. That devotion was really for me. Thank you.

  203. Would love to read this book.

  204. As I read about this book I can’t help but think that she has written it just for me! I have given my heart to the Lord and have asked for forgiveness for bad choices I have made since then, but I question the sincerity in my heart, sad to say. My husband was saved as a teenager, but he always seems so angry and often blames God for misfortunes in our life, instead of going to Him he shys away from Him. Our oldest daughter who is 10, was saved last year – a precious moment, but I don’t feel like we have held up our end of the deal in supporting her in her new life! It breaks my heart! I try to make the right choices for my children and in front of my children but they see all at such a young age and I can’t do it alone – without my husband. They see and hear the anger in their daddy and I hate that so much!! I would love to read this book for ME and then encourage my husband to read it. It’s debatable who needs it more. But something has to change in my home, my life, my children’s views of their home life, and mostly the relationship my husband has with the Lord!!

  205. Wendy Hernandez says:

    Thanks you so very much for sharing this…. IBe recently come to the same realization and I need freedom from control. I need my savior. My duaghter was born with major medical issues and has had multiple surgeries and still lives with chronic health conditions. Trying to “make things work” /control things has taken a toll on my family (newly divorced, other kids having issues) and my own health. I hit bottom and came to the realization that I had to really let go… One of the toughest things for me personally… And let God. Really let Him lead my life. I’m only just beginning but it’s the best step I’ve taken and the freedom I’ve begin to experience has been healing physically, mentally and spiritually. Thanks be to God

  206. Kay Matous says:

    I’d love to read this book. The title reminds me of mountains and valleys. The light of dawn and the shadows of dusk. I recently retired and I’m trying to decide what to do in the next chapter of my life. I pray that God is leading me.

  207. Thank you for this.

  208. Oh boy! This devotion came at the perfect time. Last night I had that moment of realization that I was a control freak. I had always joked about it, but it literally consumed me in different ways and in multiple areas. God calls us to have a relationship with Him to be content in Him! If we are unsatisfied in life, imagine the slap in the face we are giving God! I’d love to win the book! Thank you for sharing!

  209. I have been meeting with a brand new believer and so much of our conversation surrounds desires she has. I hope this would help “settle” those desires and bring her to rest in knowing God’s total acceptance of her, and rest in His leading.
    I enjoyed the devotion today. Thank you.

  210. Jen Brunsvold says:

    Great devotional for me as I struggle with “controlling” my circumstances. Seeing that it really just a form of pride and can keep me from truly relying on The Lord. Thank you!

  211. Rachel H says:

    This is such an honest look at what I struggled with after a difficult move, parenting and marriage issues plus a lose of my previous support system where I lived. I eventually found myself seeking comfort from someone outside my marriage. I rationalized the conversations for a long time in my loneliness. The Lord is faithful. He gives forgiveness and grace. It’s been a year now and things are restored and most importantly, I’ve grown so much closer to God and accepting His control and direction for my life. I would love a copy of this book!

  212. I did just write a mirror story of my life. I did not send. I cannot find it. I don’t have the time to write it again.
    Yes, I would desire a copy of the book that parellel’s mine. I need to stop forty years of pretending-denying that I’m quenching not helping or living-in JESUS. I thank GOD for HIS long suffering wooing.
    How do I stop when my attempts are met with, “That’s the Devil’s lies!”
    Thank You!

  213. If I were to win this book, I would have a hard time not keeping it for myself – but I would buy my own copy & give this copy to my mommy, who has moved across country from me with my dad, where they live with no family close by. I miss her so much!

  214. I will give this book to a friend who is dealing with personal struggles.

  215. Elaine Eslick says:

    Always worried about money and bills, my daughter and her family. It is a constant struggle and you think if you just had a little more money everything would be okay. Instead of thanking God for the blessing he has given me I keep wishing for more money to make my life comfortable. It is something I struggle with everyday. Thank you.

  216. Rebecca says:

    Don’t want to be fractured want Christ to help me be whole

  217. Christi M says:

    I would give this to a friend whose son died in February. Her family sounds very similar to yours. Although I might sneak a read before giving it away.

  218. We just lost our baby last weel. I could give birth to him but I couldn’t control his living or not. Since then I’ve been keeping myself busy and needing to have an altogether appearance for the world. I would love this book.

  219. Rosie Scott says:

    I would be so blessed by your book. A few years ago my life fell apart when an auto accident ended my career. Then this spring breast cancer and a hip replacement have left me floundering to feel God near.

  220. Kara Wheeler says:

    I would love to read this book as I am just coming out of a time in my life where selfish desires controlled my life. I can see light now, and want to be a blessing to my family.

  221. Kimberly says:

    Would love a copy for myself since I suffer with the disease to please. Wouldn’t it be amazing just to be me and the true me breathing in and out vs the one I think I need to be so I don’t get criticized by others?

  222. Monica Phillips says:

    I would like to have a copy of this book. I, too, have been distracted for two years now since the death of my father, which seems like it has led to the emotional death of my family due to all of us chasing our own desires. My desire has been to desperately find a way to be absent from this location, from family and the pain that lingers.

  223. Mieke Brown says:

    This has hit too close to home I too feel the need to be in control of everything
    I found that by doing so it came with more stress,depression,anxiety,sleepless nights
    And then health issues. Even my thoughts were affected,I am a believer that Pray changes things .
    Thanks you

  224. This week, who am I kidding, these last few months I feel so shattered. On the outside I’m put together, focused, driven, but on the inside I’m the complete opposite; I’m numb, depressed, and feel completely lost. I keep telling myself that I am the head and not the tail, and that the words of others have no power over me, but I let them. Reading today’s devotional was like God was talking to me and telling me that I’m not alone because here is a story that parallels my own. I asked God to move me into my next season, to bring forth His plan, and I realize that to move on I need to close some chapters….and that is what He is doing. He is presenting challenges so that I can close these issues and stop avoiding them. But in the process of dealing and healing, I’ve lost self control of my eating and have begun feeling empty, shattered, incomplete. I feel that this book will help me listen to God and realize His plan, and be patient.

  225. Your article certainly hit home to me as I struggle to be the solution for parents with problems and children with problems .(Sandwich Generation for sure) I know in my heart that only the Lord can satisfy the true needs that we all have,but that doesn’t seem to keep me from exhausting myself mentally and physically trying to meet those needs and control THINGS ! The insight your book will provide will certainly be helpful to point the way bake to our Sustainer and Lord. Im praying my daughter ,who is trying to buy her happiness online and cure her loneliness this way will be helped by it as well before this sin ruins her .

  226. What a voice of hope in the midst of a broken world…

  227. I would love to have this book. As I was reading your article I just begin to cry because this sounds so much like me. I’m hidden and buried working myself into a tired frenzy seemingly getting nowhere. Trying to fix and control everything in my life. This book could help me to get back on track .Thank you in advance even if its just for the article I read. it helped me to see me.

  228. Lynn Herndon says:

    I too had a sick baby that left me grasping for control of some kind. I am intrigued by you Amber. Thank you for your transparency. Daily I seek this & fumble. I guess that’s part of it. Love to read. Reading helps me focus. I would love to share your book with my prayer sisters.

  229. Jennifer says:

    This devotion was like reading my own present situation. Losing a close loved one recently and dealing with the sickness of another has left me reeling. I’m so caught up in trying to control every aspect of my life that I leave no room for God to work.

  230. Rosemary says:

    I would love to have this book. I suffer with loneliness, and depression and other things. I am in a season now that God is working with me to over come this loneliness. He is working with me to get to the point that I can truthfully, honestly, and believe and say that my God is enough.

  231. Cassie Burns says:

    I struggle with surrender. Unfortunately this has led to taking God’s pure and perfect purposeful plans for my life and spinning them into unorganized chaos- work is my idol, I don’t come home on time, I wake up thinking about what I need to do at work the next day, it has deteriorated my prayer life. This devotion touched my heart and inspires me. Thank you.

  232. Kate Greenwell says:

    Need to read this book!

  233. Wow. I love the transparency of brokenness. If we as believers could all remember that we are all broken we would love so much better.

  234. Janna Rigsbee says:

    Have been here broken from Divorce then health issues love this Encouragement for all of us trying to fight our way home to the arms of our Saviour Jesus Christ where we find Peace

  235. I want my desires to be for God and His plans for me and mine! Not my own.

  236. I am all about the control and I totally get it – the lists, the shopping, the desperate grasping for something to make things right. I’m also familiar with being so steeped in my own desire for control that I can’t see anything else, much less the sin of my ways. I think accepting that we have a problem is the first step toward finding the solution. So glad this book is out there for those of us who need to be pointed in the right direction.

  237. Veronica says:

    I suppose I’m no different than any other beautiful lady here. We all have highs and lows in our lives, and I understand that its all a part of our journey back home to God. I saw your video and your words seemed genuine. I don’t know how someone can feel connected to someone they have never met, never will meet, and whose existence to the other person will never be known, but somehow I, too, was moved by you. I’m commenting here in hopes of a free copy to further explore what you have to say and see if I can learn any life lessons. If I do get a copy, I will be sure to share it with others. I’ve never been good at baring my soul to others so I must thank you for being brave enough to bare yours.

  238. Allison says:

    This is the second thing I have read this morning about desires being fulfilled only by Christ. I have struggled with this all my life. It’s so easy to slip into the mode of seeking people or things to fill the God-sized whole in my heart. But every time I do it is met with disaster.
    I would love to read this book; I think I can learn so much from it.

  239. I would love to read this book. I struggle daily with a son who was adopted at 1 year old. He is 10 now and is suffering from an attachment disorder which is tearing the family apart.

  240. Catina Roberts says:

    I would use the book for myself and my college aged daughter for us to read, share and discuss

  241. I can’t tell you how this has moved me. Someone else is living my life outloud. Thank you for your courage to share, it is through the experiences, strengths and hope of others that my journey of committing myself each day to follow the will of God is made real. I strive to hear is still small voice saying ‘this way’ in the mist of he great noise of nothingness that surrounds me. God Bless you for all you do to help save your audience. I am humbled and I am greatful.

  242. Because I am having trouble staying free from brokenness and maybe your book or comments will help me

  243. I can so relate – and never thought this would be a struggle for me again. But in losing control of everything around me, jobs, relationships, housing, I clamored for control over whatever was in my reach. The most poisoning thing I could’ve done.. but yet I’m thankful for the testimony that I’m not the only one

  244. Suzanne says:

    I would have not gotten this from this scripture…..thank you for being led. I have been ministered to this morning by this devotion.

  245. Wendy Hernandez says:

    Thanks you so very much for sharing this…. I’ve recently come to the same realization and I need freedom from control, from myself. I need my savior. My duaghter was born with major medical issues and has had multiple surgeries and still lives with chronic health conditions. Trying to “make things work” /control things has taken a toll on my family (newly divorced, other kids having issues) and my own health. I hit bottom and came to the realization that I had to really let go… One of the toughest things for me personally… And let God. Really let Him lead my life. I’m only just beginning but it’s the best step I’ve taken and the freedom I’ve begin to experience has been healing physically, mentally and spiritually. Thanks be to God

  246. Desires… a struggle that I face everyday in order perhaps not face reality and for at times not having the strong faith that I got to have in our Father! Yet, reading this encouragement this morning, reminds me that I am not alone and that he perfectly made me, provide me with wisdom, guides me and loves me! . Because He is the strenght out of my weakness! Blessings!

  247. My son has been in and out of the hospital this year with pneumonia. The doctors can’t figure out why he keeps getting so sick. I’m so scared for him. I can’t wait to read this book!

  248. A hearty meal for the soul and spirit. I need every bite. Thank you, Jesus. I will have to come to back throughout the day and re-read, refill and reflect again. Thank you, Jesus. God bless

  249. Wow, Amber,
    So much truth and wisdom I needed to hear. Thank you.

  250. I think us women have an innate nature for control that grows along with age and responsibilities. Who wouldn’t want the best in any situation and if they were able to control it somewhat, why wouldn’t you right…? No doubt your post resonates in many hearts (including mine) allowing us to say “this is me, or me & my husband, daughter etc”. I know I strive to uphold appearances of relationships and establishments as much as I’m not a people pleaser…hmm (ironic). I’ve felt amiss for some time now not knowing what was really wrong but I see that these little things I do are actually born of desire and are sin. I pray they not take the place where God should be. And I pray he heals his people who are hurting and struggling today. Amen.

  251. Cortnie beasley says:

    This verse spoke to me early this morning. My husband and I our trying to find a house in a new school district, we are looking at some amazing houses that are far better than what we currently live in. I’m feeling frustrated that we have finally come to a place where we are able to do better for ourselves but the struggles of our past are still chasing us. We lost a car a long time ago during an unemployment stent and we are desperately trying to sale a boat in order to fix that blemish on our credit. I’m trying to control this situation and I keeping thinking that this is God’s desire for us to move bc He wants my son in a better school, right?? I’ll be praying for surrender and direction today:)

  252. This article hit me! How many times do I try to do it alone. I want to learn how to let God take control. I have a daughter I would give this book to. She is a wild spirit, with a good heart. Maybe someone else can help her take the right path. Thank you for sharing this passage and story.

  253. Michelle says:

    This devotional resonated strongly with me. I’m a home school mom with six children and autoimmune thyroid disorder. Lately, my health issues have been more intense and I feel driven to find a solution – to get control. I know I am loved with an everlasting love, but I wrestle with desire for control nonetheless. Amber’s comment, “any desire not satisfied in Christ would divide me from my community and shatter me from within” really hit home. I would like to both read this book and share it with my sister-in-law, who is going through similar health issues, but without a relationship with her loving Heavenly Father, through Christ. Thank you for sharing your story, Amber. I’m praying that the Holy Spirit will open my eyes to any desire in me that I’m seeking to satisfy outside of my Savior and turn me back to Him.

  254. I would give this to my daughter Amanda.

  255. Kristie says:

    Loved today’s devotional. I can relate on so many ways, I would love to read more on this topic and learn to be content.

  256. Jessica says:

    This article could not have come at a better time.

  257. Would love to read this book! What an amazing testimony.

  258. This describes me to a T and I didn’t even recognize this in myself until now. I need to read this book!

  259. Rebecca Pitcher says:

    Would love to read this book.

  260. Andrea Askea says:

    After reading this excerpt, I am overwhelmed with how much this has mirrored my life since my divorce three years ago. The chaos my life and my children’s lives were thrown into during the two years the divorce was ongoing and the constant struggle for order and something to cling onto that represents permanence to a family so broken. I would LOVE to win the free copy to help guide us, along with God’s word, on our path to healing and re-building hope and healthy relationships.

  261. Stephanie B. says:

    I can really relate to making lists and schedules trying to be in control. I would love this book!

  262. Margaret says:

    I loved your post, which brought me to your website which brought me to your book, which I devoured. I haven’t felt such words spun true in a long while, very disarming, and I would love to receive and share this book – thanks for opening the lid and sharing your lunch 🙂

  263. Deloise Tritt says:

    I will use this book by loaning it to clients struggling through divorce, after reading it myself. I struggle with my daughter’s addiction issues.

  264. This devotional was so very eye opening for me! I would like a copy of the book for myself–I struggle with creating my own kingdom too.

  265. I need this book! I need God!!!

  266. Elaine Segstro says:

    I do like being “queen” over my life, but no God, no peace. I still struggle with letting go, and submitting. I would love to read your book.

  267. It has taken a long time to see and admit I’m broken but figuring out how to let God back into the broken places seems easier said then done. I know I am a beloved daughter, it’s high time I start acting like it.

  268. As long as I can remember I have always overwhelmed myself with “To-do” lists and tried to juggle more than I can handle only to fall face down with the long lists of things flying in the air. I desire to feel needed and loved that I try to fill that need by taking on any and everything that I can. At times it pulls me into overload exhaustion but after I breathe there I go again back into overload mode. Today’s devotional couldn’t have hit me harder as I read thinking this is me! I would love to read this amazing book.

  269. Wow the Holy Spirit led me to this and now I see why. This was written with me in mind. This is a book that could change my life and my daughters who is following in my footsteps.

  270. Christi says:

    I absolutely loved this devotion and would love to read more in the upcoming book!! This devotion spoke to me because I am a type-A personality that likes to feel like we are following a plan, completing a to-do list, and being productive, however, I recently have been convicted several times that this creates a busyness that does not allow me to have the time, attention, and focus on what we are called to do during our time on Earth–build God’s kingdom, love people, and grow in our own relationship with Jesus. This verse is yet another way that it has been brought to my attention to make this my purpose in life instead of continuously being busy with tasks that don’t matter all that much, especially in the big picture.

  271. My son was diagnosed with EOE at a very early age. We finally got to a specialist 5 years ago. I know the need to control through lists. Medication lists, food lists (he only has 4 safe foods), growth chart lists, physical symptom lists, and a host of other lists, just to try to make it each day. I ended up face down crying out to God for strength and that He would take control. God is so good and faithful.

  272. I have an adult special needs child. His conditions present a life-long challenge for all of our family. Today’s message was like a reflection in a mirror. More than once in my live, I’ve dealt with a desire to escape, masking anxiety and worry by attempting to plan and control, along with excessive, compulsive shopping. Acceptance that only God’s touch of Grace can heal, I’m now on a path to recovery. I would greatly appreciate the wisdom that Born of Desire might bring. God bless you for sharing your path to healing!

  273. We all need the reminder of finding the way home, and I have many friends who are struggling with brokenness. Amber, your book may be just what each of them needs to read.

  274. I have a nephew that is married to a narcissistic young woman that is driven…driven to control him to the point of alienating his parents, forbidding their children (ages 8 & 1) from seeing their grandparents. While they both have good incomes and have built 3 beautiful homes (none of which are satisfactory to her) in the last 10 years, they have no friends. She has created her little cocoon for her little family to live. My nephew, too, has seeked courage and solace in the bottle. Only the Saving Grace of God will help this young family. Oh, they go to church and do the right things outwardly, but in my heart of hearts I think it’s just for appearances to impress their professional peers & community. Maybe, just maybe, Amber’s book would open this young woman’s eyes to the hurt she has caused in this young family.

  275. WOW!! Amber–I absolutely LOVED this post and have recently LIVED these words in my own life.
    I can’t wait to read your book!!
    Blessings,
    Pat

  276. Thank you for being so vulnerable. I will read this book then pass it around within my family. My youngest son, age 24, has found his life in a crumbled, shattered heap of loss. As in most cases, partly his doing, partly others doings. As a family of 5, I have watched how each of us want to take control to fix, mend, heal, get retribution, etc. As the mom, whoa! So difficult to see my family grasping for control yet knowing God is proactive, working, loving ever so fully & deeply. I recognize the false gods I, myself, am latching onto. Needed: Faith. Prayer. Community. And knowledge. Thank you again for putting this knowledge into the hands of our brothers & sisters! Blessings!

  277. Julie George says:

    Your devotion really spoke to me this morning. I am a control freak. Although I know it’s wrong, I never thought of it as sin. Thank you for pointing it our using God’s word,

  278. Allison says:

    Thank you for sharing your heart in this powerful and much needed devotion. I look forward to reading your book. May God continue to bless you as you bless others.

  279. Wow. This is just beautiful. And just what I needed to read today. Thank you, Amber

  280. This devotional really sounds like things that I experience. I would love to read Amber’s book and learn more about how God changed her!

  281. Haylea Newcity says:

    Thank you for taking time to write this.

  282. Lisa Prumbach says:

    This really spoke to me today. I can’t even express how much I needed to hear this. Thank you!

  283. Kathryn Benson says:

    The more that things go awry, the more we try. The longer we struggle, the more entangled we become. The more helpless and hopeless we feel, the more pain we live.

  284. Thank you so much for this encouragement! I know I am not alone in my tendency toward perfectionism and my intense desire to control my life, but sometimes it feels that way. Recently I have struggled with rage and anxiety as I have tried to schedule and plan everything for my new son’s life and control how other people respond to me and the decisions I have made for us. I have sinned and have had to ask for forgiveness, but the struggle is so real each day and every bit of encouragement helps! Thank you!

  285. I enjoy reading books.

  286. Such a powerful devotion this morning! I have been in that place fueled by a seemingly insatiable desire to control all aspects of my life and those closest to me. God has been teaching me to trust Him one day at a time…even one moment at a time. I would love a copy of this book to help me stay on the path towards God, not on the one that’s marked “My Way.” Thanks!

  287. I was reading myself in the devotional. Though not struggling with a loss, I am searching for hope and light as I go through a rough season of life. I have seven month old twins, along with two other children. They are great and beautiful but so hard too. I find myself going online to buy something, anything to make myself happy, energized or somehow less tired. Thanks for the devotional it really spoke to me and reminded me of the dangers of looking for hope and control outside of Christ.

  288. Thank you for being so transparent and sharing what you have walked through and learned. Control is a thread that runs through so many women’s lives as we are nurturers by nature. But often we believe that control is nurturing. I pray that your book speaks to all that read it before our sins of control give birth to destroyed relationships and brokenness. I now see the sin of my control and ask God to forgive me and to heal all those I hurt. I need to remember I just need Jesus and to give him everything. Everything.

  289. Thank you, I needed to hear this, we are all trying to find a place where we can be ok and the truth is we can only achieve that with Jesus Christ. Bless Proverbs31 you give me hope every day.

  290. Margaret Williams says:

    Even as a fairly laid-back person who normally takes life as it comes, I have found myself moving in the direction of “taking over” in ways that do not satisfy. I love the idea of that any desire NOT satisfied through Christ, leads in the opposite direction of which my heart longs to go. What a wonderful prayer that God will fill us with desires that can only be satisfied in Him.

  291. Christine says:

    If I won a copy of Amber’s book, I would give it to my firstborn, my only daughter, who made to-do lists since she could write, is expecting her second child, often feels marginalized, has four brothers, and could use a sister in her life right now.

  292. Carol Williams says:

    I lost my husband almost 9 yrs ago. We had been married 46 yrs. He had a heart problem for 13 of those yrs. and at 52 yrs of age he was given 2 yrs to live. God so graciously gave him 13 yrs.of mostly a good life. He was a wonderful singer and we used to sing Gospel music together. Also as our children were growing up we sang with them in many churches all over.
    This article hit home to me today! I realized that I have been so focused on how alone & lonesome I am that I have been trying to “make” God give me the life that I had, with my husband, back.
    The last few weeks, for some reason, I have felt like giving up as far as finding a mate & having a life again. I have been fighting a Spiritual battle and felt I was losing. I am thankful for all I do have but feel so empty and alone. I don’t have family except my 2 children and they have their lives and families. They don’t seem to have time for me. All my friends have their mates and don’t want a 5th wheel so I spend most all my time alone. Every so often I have to have a pity party and I can’t seem to get back up as I once could.
    This article was what I needed to hear. I do trust God but didn’t realize how I am trying to tell him what I need and trying to figure out things on my own since I don’t seem to get any answers when I pray.
    I’m sorry this is so long. I didn’t mean to write a book.
    Thank you for your patience and taking the time to read my rambling!
    Carol

  293. I tend to try and get fulfillment through my husband, trying to control him!! Wanting him to be the spiritual leader, but acting as if im the holy spirit for him, seeing if he read the bible, signing him up for mens studies…its terrible!! I know everything i need and desire is in Jesus…this is a very long lesson im learning. I just want to have balance between desiring my husband to be a man after Gods own heart but not making THAT an idol. I want to be fully satisfied in jesus and not allow it to bother me if he doesnt initiate prayer or read his bible or do all of the spiritual things I (emphesis on I) think he should. I want this book 🙂

  294. Stephanie says:

    I want peace, the peace of God that transcends all understanding!!

  295. Kathy Fraser says:

    I wish to gift this to my sister. I pray for her to find THIS way daily, hourly, and I know this will help her to really SEE.

  296. Melissa Klassen says:

    I can so relate to the deep feelings you shared. I’ve gone through many stages of grief with my daughter’s genetic disorder. I let it consume me at times. God is so caring and merciful! I worked through many feelings speaking to a Stephens minister who listened and loved on me for an entire year. She was a blessing from God, just when I needed it!!
    Would love to read your book!

  297. i was so struck by this devotional……I would like a copy of Amber’s new book

  298. Thanks Amber for writing a book that hits so close to home! I’ve been a mess lately -and have started reading just about every Christian authored book on my shelf – plus ones that I have ordered. This book – sounds like it would actually be the one I was meant to read all along – all the way through!

  299. I desire to be a minister/servant of the Lord for His Kingdom. I am in this ministry right now that I want to be released to do the work of God. I feel stucked and controlled. I don’t want to be controlled, so I try to be in control of things sometimes, but may be God wants me to let go. I would appreciate a copy of your book to help me with this struggle.

  300. I’d love to read Amber’s book and share it!

  301. WOW this hit home I sometimes find myself doing these same things and never realize ouch I was trying to hold on to the world and not God’s way. Thanks for sharing and this gives me directions. God Bless

  302. I don’t have to like what is happening in my life, but I do have to live it(for Christ)! But you say it so eloquently, thank you for being a writer!

  303. My husband and I have been married 44 years this Sept 4. We have had some hard times, ups and down like other people. But the best thing that has happened to us was accepting God into ours hearts just this past week. We know we have a long road ahead of us. But we are going to do it with our friends, our church, and God. I would like to read this book in hopes it will help us grow closer to God, and let us touch other people like someone did us. God is amazing and does answer prayers.

  304. Kate Semer says:

    I am such a list maker, this devotion stopped me in my tracks. I need this book!!

  305. I would love a copy to better understand when I am controlling. I sometimes read about giving God control but I don’t grasp it. I’ve been in a waiting phase for not quite 3 years, which has been a living hell, and I can’t do a thing. I pray and pray and find no change. I’m getting confused about God because before this situation I didn’t know Him because I had walked away. I struggle with how I see God and have been reverting to my old opinions because I’ve never seen God come through and help. I truly believe He does but I haven’t seen it in my life, and it hurts. God gave me some promises almost three years ago and more since, but not one has been completed and I’ve watched more of my life fall apart. I beg God for help, and I’m just utterly broken. I know God can do this. I just think I might find some encouragement and understanding from the book. I’m looking.

  306. This resonated with me. I think people may find my situation odd, but it’s the same as all the examples given. My husband is a Pastor, and has the burning desire to do great things for Gods kingdom. God has given us a thriving church, but it doesn’t seem enough. The vision for this church is a large church, with a community center and a wildlife education center to teach people that we are caretakers of the earth. I believe this vision has come from God, but my husband and I are SO impatient for it to come to fruition! We know in our hearts that it’s in Gods hands, but we keep taking control back. We want so badly to do something large-scale to glorify God and bring people to Christ that we often forget to give God the control. We need patience, and especially acceptance if this is NOT God’s vision. We keep thinking, “How could God NOT want this?” We need constant reminders to keep working, but to lay it at GOD’s feet. Everytime we turn around, we find that we’ve taken control back because “God isn’t working fast enough”. I really pray that our vision is in alignment with God’s, and the obedience and acceptance if it is not God’s plan for our future. Let go and let God!!!

  307. Stephanie says:

    My life changed drastically 2 years ago – my husband I separated and are now divorced – I lost a lot of material “things” and also visions of how my marriage should have been. While I am learning to not control everything at work, home and with my children it is a struggle! Getting the Proverbs 31 daily blog and now the First 5 I feel I am on a better track for life:) Perhaps this book will help me on this journey called life:)

  308. I would like to win a copy of Book so can share it with the Prayer Intercessors group in Jonesboro AR.
    We pray on Mondays at noon & sponsor yearly National day of Prayer morning service. People needs to know we’re Free when we accept Jesus as Lord & Savior.
    Thanking you in advance & congrats in your Book!

  309. Wow! Today’s word hit home. Been thinking about talking to a Christian psychologist about this very issue. I feel like I am striving so hard in life and I desire things that almost put me in a whirlwind of disappointment and discouragement because of my inability to attain them. I related to the ‘bottle’ and divulging and ministry failures, etc… Boy, life has its challenges.

  310. Shelly Larson says:

    I was rocked by this devo. I immediately passed it along to a young troubled friend with whom I walk through life. Would love to share your new book with her!

  311. I feel like I could have written this devotion. Ever since my brother died 19 months ago It’s been a different world. A struggle. A blur. I’ve felt out of control and done many things to try to gain some control but I always come up short. Come up empty. I know the Lord is the only one who satisfies and the only one who can fill, but it’s so easy to turn to other things before I hit my knees. Jesus helps me turn to HIM, but I so desire that I would go to HIM first. Just struggling.

  312. Lori Gardenhour says:

    Trying to learn to let go of things that are out of my control. To just love and enjoy my life and those that God has placed in my life.

  313. I have for so long tried to forge my own way in this world, following desires and holding tight to whatever I was able to control. I’ve made miserable relationships with people I know God placed into my life to help me, but I was/am so scared to let go that I cannot seem to accept help. I have guides and a map but cannot even find the trail. I hope your book helps me find my way home, helps me feel whole and helps me become the child of grace I was created to be. Thank you.

  314. Thank you for sharing. In the brokenness of the loss of my daughter I found myself trying to fill the void. Only God can really fill the void and learning to trust Him as you give the pieces to Him.
    May the Lord bless this book as you reach out to others.
    Blessings Suzy

  315. I would like a copy as I have struggled with this as well

  316. I am typing, well trying to! My eyes are filled with tears.
    The Lord is moving in my life, in my heart and this devotion today, well it shook off the dust from inside out! Thank you for your heart and I would be honored to win & read your book!

  317. Thank you for this post. I really needed it today.

  318. I have always liked to have control of the things that happened in our family. Then one day God let me see who was truly in control. I am so thankful thay I was diagnosed with a large brain tumor and had to have it immediately removed. I am thankful because it made me stop and focus on God’s work. He gave me complete healing and showed me how control only cause doubt and stress but when you give it to God and trust their is a big peace and gratitude that you have never wxpierenced before. Thanks for the book you have writenough we all need to take the time and have faith.

  319. I would like a copy for myself. I struggle with the sin of control – trying to plan every detail and always failing. Oh to be free.

  320. Lucy Harman says:

    I would love to read this book! I constantly am thinking about what I going to do the next day or next week at work or what I need to be doing at home. I want to be able to live in the moment with my husband and kids and be able to let go and relax sometimes instead of worrying about what I need to do next. Sometimes I feel so tired and have no motivation and it makes me so guilty. I don’t want to do anything on the weekends. I find that things in the past have brought me to where I am in a good way yet there are a few kinks. There can be some improvements. The past several months I have been seeking a closer relationship with God. There are just a few things in my life that I pray a lot for regarding my family and myself that causes a lot of stress. Overall, I’m just blessed to wake up each day because there was a time when God tested my family and me (severe car wreck).

  321. Charlene says:

    I was fractured 30 years ago, and it ruined five lives. It has taken me decades to try to mend, but I know “the Lord is near to the brokenhearted.”

  322. Jackie Thomson says:

    I would enjoy reading this book. I could learn a lot from it.

  323. Cinnamon Heitz says:

    Tears in my eyes and a deep sigh. That I what happened as I read this. I know that feeling, all too well, of supporting my lungs on that kitchen counter. The lists. The planning for success. The control of my health. Obsessive life. The striving for likes. The crying out in the shower only to step right back into my kingdom of self.
    Some days my surrender is clear and I feel alive but then I let my guard down and it all sucks me back in. I return to reign as queen of the self reliant, self controlling, self centered kingdom I have built for so many years. and the suffocation begins again.
    Learning how to sit spiritually while still moving is quite a feat. But I am determined to surrender.
    Thank you for this word today. I feel and hear the Lord working in me everyday in this area… in my marriage, my kids and my home, in my health. many blessings to you as you bless others with your surrender and openness.

  324. I never viewed my obsession with lists as grasping for control. I always felt it was just a desire to be organized, but today’s devotion opened my eyes!! Wow!!! Thank you so much!!!!

  325. Amen! Been seeking hard after God for fulfillment and healing! He’s led me to the The Mended Heart study for healing and it has been done more than I could’ve imagined! I continue to seek him for fulfillment as our study is comes to an end and here I am! This devotion spoke right to my heart. My fulfillment is found in God alone. I’ve made the mistake if trying to “fill-up” with the material things of this world. Shopping and making things “look” pleasing to others when in fact I was completely empty inside, trying to ‘keep up with the Jone’s” when in fact the bank account bursted from fees of every kind. Today, I put my pride down and look to Him for fulfillment in every area of my life. He is my living water and I thank you for reminding me of that.

  326. Oh how I needed these words today! I have been drifting along life’s stream allowing the world to be my guide for too long. Slowly I have been eating bits of God’s holy manna again and this today has wholly and deeply shown me that I have become deeply fractured. It is time to let loose and let God do His healing! I used to wake up each day when my children were young and pray God’s guidance and grace and mercy daily. I feel so useless now that they are all gone and the hubby is still overseas. If I don’t let God place His purpose back inside my heart and life I feel I shall shrivel up and die young. But oh Lord, how desperately I want to live inside of your loving and guiding arms! Please don’t let me go precious Jesus! I’m learning to feast once again!

    A book cannot save me from my fractured self but it can serve as God’s morsels of daily manna when sent from Him! God is never random so your drawing will go to exactly whomever needs those words the most. I am so very grateful our God never gives up on His children!

  327. Krysti Wilson says:

    I would love to win and read “Wild on the Hollow”

  328. Thank you for this devotional!! What a help it was to me. And a reminder to give my desires to God. When we trust in Him He will give the desires of our heart. Thank you so much. I would love to win a copy of your new book (:

  329. Thank you for sharing your struggles and your heart through this devotion and your book. I struggle with control, and it manifests itself mostly in an eating disorder with which I have struggled since high school. I am much better since my high school days, and God is gently leading me and showing me how to trust in Him.

  330. 18 months ago our youngest son told us he was gay. Our world came crashing and crushing in–I became suffocated in my grief (loss of son I thought I knew, loss of daughter-in-law, loss of dreams), despair (where are you God? why God?), and floundering (what do I tell others? where do we go from here?). I too tried to do things to get some sense of control. I’ve always been a pretty good ‘fixer-upper’ for all the things life has thrown at me but this time I could do nothing but cry out to God, rest in His arms, and accept His peace, grace, and mercy. In the process of trying to rest and accept His gifts to me, there was a lot of resistance and turmoil on my part–I still wrestle with being at peace and let God do His work. I have had to take the advice of Billy Graham and do what I am called to do–LOVE my son–and let God the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit take care of the rest. Sounds easy but some days it is very difficult to do–the control freak in me still wants to figure it all out and do something. I’m thankful and blessed that God understands my needs and desires and continues to gently guide me along this path and journey.

  331. Aimee Mayer says:

    I’m desperate for some sort of order in my life. Years of exhaustion with my young children have left me unable to be clear enough to keep any routine in our household. I’d love to read this book to remind me that order comes from Him who set the order of everything in Creation.

  332. Oh my goodness, I could use this book! When my husband told me about his pornography addiction I tried to fully control his life and his recovery. Where I have gotten better with that, I do see other aspects of my life I am still trying to control. This would be helpful!

  333. Sarah Triplett says:

    The past two years have been exceptionally difficult, two miscarriages, my mother and aunt having heart attacks and needing stents, then when I was 6 months pregnant my husband had to have open heart surgery (triple bypass), and now he has to have his gall bladder out and our daughter is just 10 weeks old. I don’t know what to do anymore, I am wearing out, trying to keep the house up, working full time and taking care of an infant and a four year old is getting to be too much. There is also the added stress of my in-laws failing health and their worsening dementia.

  334. Kimber Bates says:

    My own desire to find acceptance and validation in this world has led me to some terrible places in my life. Keeping God the focus of my desire is the only saving grace there was for me.

  335. Alana Morgan says:

    WOW, after reading this post Amber and I must be sisters from different mothers!!! I would LOVE to be blessed by a copy of her book! Thanks for the opportunity.

    Alana

  336. Melanie Morton says:

    Perfect description of me…thank you!

  337. Would love to read this!

  338. Ruth Trigg says:

    Struggling with letting go of control. Would love to read your book.

  339. Joyce Mooney says:

    My son and I have been going through a very difficult domestic violence divorce for the past 2 years. We are blessed with all the counseling we have received and support from friends and family. But sadly the DV behavior continues with stalking,etc. I pray for his Dad to heal because that is all I can do. He also bought our son a BB gun and was shot in his eye on a visitation weekend. (Visits are supervised now). We are blessed that he didn’t die because he hemorraged and his medical team were successful with the permanent implant they were able to place in his eye. However we have to go every 3 months to see if the glaucoma returns. For a 5 year old…it’s been a very difficult year. I pray for all of us and our struggles and know that the Lord is blessings us through our trials and pain in life. Like many here, I seek continued renewal of my spirit and seek solace in all of the books I have been guided to from above! One more God inspired inspiration of renewal would be greatly appreciated! Blessings to you and all that are here posting! Hugs and love from afar! JM

  340. Amber, I was touched when I read the free introduction and first chapter available online. You see, I too was raised in a small, small town Church of Christ. I was taught many things in error, by Godly people who just didn’t know any different. They were not well educated, and they trusted Brother So-and-So, who knew more than they did, to teach them. It was a very legalistic, narrow-minded church, full of people who were just trying to do the right thing. When I was about 6 or so, we were told that God’s punishment of Eve was that she would bear children. I remember asking how we all would have gotten here if Eve had not sinned and been punished by bearing children. The sweet teacher’s answer was “I don’t know, but I’m sure God had a way.” After I went away to college (at Abilene Christian), I began to learn and understand what had happened in that small church and why. So I rally identified with where you were coming from, and I can’t wait to read the rest of your story!

  341. Reneé S. says:

    Oh my gosh…yes this is me. My life has felt so out of control and my life is not where I thought it would be by now. I didn’t realize until now that I have been harboring some resentment towards the circumstances that seem to be slowing my husband and I down and what it worse is that I don’t see things changing anytime soon. So I try to gain control in other ways…like organizing and reorganizing….just lots of projects that I feel like are in my control. Thanks for sharing this devotion today. It was really eye opening.

  342. After reading Amber’s devotional, I suddenly recognized a dark place I’ve been in since a believed-in & hoped-for “ministry” & ministry partner disappointed, disappeared, & crumbled before my eyes;leaving me & my children devastated. There’s been excessive efforts @ control & sin has entered, some of it cherished, & not easily released. I’m hungry for that missing peace but not certain how to let go & let God recreate that in & for me – when I often don’t “feel” like wanting it. I would love to be considered for a copy of Amber’s book. Thank you!

  343. This hit a nerve today. The book sounds like something I need. Thanks.

  344. Jenni Albert says:

    Her devotional today sounded like so many times in my past. Would love to read more.

  345. I’m broken. I can’t see the path out…

  346. After I prayed, I started reading the daily devotionals I receive in my email. As I read the scripture verse, I automatically assumed it would be about me and stuff or desire for stuff. Then I read, and tears filled my eyes as, by reading this, God told me that I am trying to control, trying to control instead of allowing myself to hurt, instead of allowing myself to not be always positive and “together” woman who can handle teenagers, a demanding job, a nonresponsive husband and an invalid mother all at the same time. My trying to control is causing me to become fractured. I sit in my car and eat junk trying to numb the pain. I have to bring all my hurt, all my pain, all my fear of not keeping these balls in the air to God. Only he can help me. My trying to control to make myself feel good is sin.

  347. Amber Talbert says:

    I definitely think reading this book would be beneficial for me. I do have a tendancy to want to control everything and sometimes even other people. This book sounds like it would be very helpful, I can’t wait to read it. I would love to win a copy! Once I finish, I will pass it along to my cousin who also seems to struggle in the same way I do. Thank you so much for the encouragement!

  348. This is my story

  349. Karen Jafs says:

    Thanks for the devotional. I’m stuck, I have been for a long time. I did take control and left God out and it led to divorce. I haven’t been able to get past that and it’s been 10 years. Now I’m out of a job and have been searching for 7 months with no luck. I just don’t know what God wants of me. Perhaps your book wil provide some answers.

  350. Elizabeth Zacharias says:

    I have found myself in the same kind of place which she has for other reasons. Struggling to fill myself with things instead of filling myself with the one true King who satisfies and fills every need.

  351. Autumn Winter says:

    Reading Amber’s brief story was like seeing a window into my own life- the parts I have strived so diligently to hide. I struggle with giving God full control of my life even though I know it is His will not mine that offers strength and peace. I live each day with the knowledge that there is a better way, but still I struggle to live it out. Struggle being the operative word here- because that is what my day to day has become- a struggle to just survive. I owe it to myself, and more importantly to my children and husband to stop controlling everything and struggling through life. Amber’s words have inspired me to remember the way out is through God alone. I believe reading her book could fortify my resolve and help me to see better the path I must take. Thank you Amber for so bravely sharing your story and thank you Proverbs 31 for your ongoing daily devotional which ate so meningful to me and others. Thank you God for all things, Amen.

  352. Ashamed to say..
    My desire is to have communication with a married man.. Before I was saved he was my life my first in many ways, starting at the age of 12.. I am looking for any excuses to talk to him and avoid honoring God.. I am far away from my heavenly Father.. God knew this verse was what I needed to read today.. My heart is numb to repentance and full of sinful lust.. I am sad..

  353. Andrea Fontecha says:

    Thank you so much! That’s is what I need to hear today. I’m in the middle of some kind of mess and yesterday I was asking God what I’m missing… and here is the answer. Thank you and God bless you every single day!

  354. Susan Abdul says:

    I will like to get a copy of this book. I know it will help me in my daily walk with the Lord. Thank you for sharing. God bless!

  355. After losing my son to stillbirth in April, I’m still trying to let go and let God. Grief makes your head foggy and it’s hard to tell which voices are your own and which are God’s. I think this would be a great read to help me focus on God’s desires for me.

  356. This really spoke to me today. After losing a daughter, it has been a rough ride for me-being able to trust Him.

  357. Jennifer O'Neil says:

    Amber – I’m sure I’m not the only person saying “The LORD put that Devotion there just for me!” Psalm 51:17 The sacrifices of GOD are a broken spirit, a broken and contrite heart; O GOD, thou wilt not despise! I tell my Sunday school class I’m the broken & contrite heart and my husband is the broken spirit. I’ve finally come to the end of myself, after 25 years of marriage, and realized “I have not honored GOD when I have not honored my husband as the headship of our family! And, I resisted saying to GOD take my life and let it be consecrated to you–I erroneously thought “I can’t do that, I’m a wife and mom I don’t live just for myself!” But, I finally realized on May 30, 2014–“If I give GOD my life to lead and direct, he is going to work ALL things together for good for my whole family!! I have been a fool for the last 25 years and I hang on to 1 CORINTHIANS 1:27 – But GOD has chosen the foolish things of the world to put shame to the wise, and GOD has chosen the weak things of the world to put shame to the things that are mighty!” I serve such a patient, loving heavenly Father who is not done with me yet!

  358. Jenny Hickey says:

    Reading the passage from this book struck a chord in my heart. How I have found myself here and wanting to find my way to complete freedom. My heart is stirred!

  359. I looked at the blog site, and read a bit about the book. We grow up in church believing that our lives need to be and look perfect, but they are not. The book has a hopeful message of redemption and reconnection with Christ and the church.

  360. I can so relate to this….What a great read….

  361. Cassandra McPike says:

    I would read this book myself. I’m so deep into “lack of control” in my life and myself as well as my husband are exhausted trying to grab some sort of “control.” I believe we could really use some help with turning it all back over to God-again.

  362. Wild in The Hollow….I find that title so intriguing. Beckoning. Not sure if the message is for me, those around me, or both…I just know I have to read this book. Wild in the Hollow…yeah…that deep, hollow place that’s constantly searching, grasping… Find rest, my soul, in Christ alone.

  363. I read the first chapter of your book and felt like I was reading my own biography. God has redeemed me in so many ways, pursued me and lifted me up. But the ghost of Shame of my past follows me, I feel so unworthy. I know that He loved me while I was still a sinner but I still feel like I need to earn His love to be worthy of it with works and religious habit. I am worn from it. Between marriage, work and kids I become resentful of all “God asks of me” but in reality of what I put on myself “for God”. I have sinful lusts for a different life, and am weighed down daily with the “If Only’s” of past choices.. Regret choking me as if my life is my own doing and not Gods sovereign plan for my good. I love to read, and believe that I found this for a reason. I never comment on these things, but you never know. God bless..

  364. So interested in reading your book! Love your style of writing. Thank you, Jan

  365. This past year several things have happened in my life that are out of my control. I didnt realize, until I read your post, that I have been trying to compensate these things but over controlling the things I could. Thus creating a gap between me and God. Seperating myself from the only One able to meet all my needs. I struggle with this!

  366. Beautiful article. So often we have bumps in our lives that we can’t control and our faith is tested. We give our attention to other things to try and fulfill us. Finding the Broken Way Home is beautiful title and one we can all relate to.

  367. Tosha Perry says:

    I would love a copy of this book! Sounds life changing!

  368. For over a decade my wife and I have lived under the fear of my now 12 year-old son’s once “terminal” cancer diagnosis: brain tumors, starting as an infant, which all the “experts” told us would come back faster and faster. But, by God’s limitless grace, our boy just keeps going. That being said…

    Sometimes I feel like all the years of stress have broken my brain. It hasn’t been alcohol for me; rather, it’s been food (and horribly hard exercise to cover my sin). It wasn’t shopping for my wife; instead, it’s been seasons of emotional distance. Still, we are slowly becoming more whole. My wish?

    I’d like the book for her, but I’d love your prayer cover.
    Any prayer cover.

  369. Thank you for today’s devotion, really needed to hear this! I’m feeling very convicted about my desire be in control and how my attempt to control is causing chaos. Lord, help me to be in total surrender to you.

  370. Michelle Wagner says:

    You described me, so it sounds like you made it through the morass somehow. I need to know how to get back to the light and freedom. How did you do it? I feel like your book would help guide me back to light and freedom. Thanks for your honest blog.

  371. Carol Clark says:

    that was such a timely and wonderful post for today. I can totally relate to what the author was sharing. She is very good at describing what it is like to try and control some part of our life when the other part we can’t control is so prevelant. Would love to read her book, not only for myself, but to share with others who may be caught in similiar circumstances .

  372. Kathy Rusch says:

    I feel compelled to read this book because I want to know more about desire…healthy and unhealthy. I am a pretty passionate woman who loves to encourage other women to “get off the fence” and into life with Jesus and what He has called us to do. I want to encourage them to discover their gifts and talents and ultimately their purpose. The conversation of desire interests me because I want to see how it fits in to the passions we embrace in our hearts and souls.

  373. Fighting with the aftermath of an affair, searching for words of inspiration and truth on how to handle things, fighting for my marriage or walking away, I often wonder if I’m openly and patiently waiting for God to speak to me or if being hurt I’m choosing to listen to the voices of desire inside my head.

  374. I don’t have anything profound to say that would catch your attention….I just have a friend that lost her 6 yr old daughter almost 2 years ago and I think she would appreciate your book. I am getting ready to send her your devotion for today and believe that she is in a place where your words can speak to her.
    Thank you!
    -S

  375. Lauren M says:

    Thank you for being so open. I’m so tired of sugar-coated devotions. Thank you for being real. Some of us really struggle in daily life choosing between God and the world, and it’s so nice to see a Christian admit to struggle. It’s so discouraging when all you see is Christians pretending to be perfect. Thank you for being relatable.

  376. Patti Campbell says:

    I never considered that I was sinning buy finding way to concentrate on anything as to not feel my pain. I thought I was showing strength. I lost my mother one year ago, my step brother shortly after, and a few months ago my brother in law. I have been overwhelmed with grief and have done anything and everything to hide from the aweful pain that seem to catch me off gaurd. Everything but spend a lot of time at home. Day dream, shop, visit other places and other people. Thank you for your message. I would look forward to anything new you could teach me on this subject.

  377. I would read it for me and then share it for someone else. Spinning…

  378. I read this and wept. It so resonated within me…i lost my 28 yr old daughter a few years ago and threw myself into the care of her 4 little girls and husband….not ever realizing that i was making them my entire purpose for being. At the time, it fulfilled a huge need for me and aided in dealing with my grief. But now, 4 yrs later, he is remarried and I find myself lost and …..I am not in control. I wonder what my purpose is now? I would love to read about her perspective on brokenness and her path back…perhaps a better perspective on what God really wants us to learn and become. Regards-

  379. Deanna Stokes says:

    Would like to explore the subject of desire further. The Lord lead me in this direction few weeks ago and then saw this message

  380. Melanie says:

    Your post was written for me this day. I did not know you before now and would so love to read your book. You speak as an admitted sinner and gave a description of how you got there without even realizing. I have recently come to see that my difficulty with food is a sin – that is, my bingeing and unwarranted love of very good food. And, indeed, this sin will lead to my death. I’m trying to overcome my food addiction through my relationship with God. As I have most days of the last 6 months, I prayed prayers of gratefulness and praise, and my desire to share Christ’s light in the world. I also asked for help & guidance to be able to insert God between each bite. Your ministry perfectly touched on how my eating is a manifestation of trying to have control and seek comfort in a very complicated 2 decades of serious health problems, for myself and then-babies, beginning in my 30s. God shows me the way so clearly at times and I believe the timing of learning about you is perfect, just like Him. I will write you back to know your book’s impact on my mission to keep God before my sin. I would rather try to be like him than live and die in sin. I have seen and felt the differences he has brought about in me already.

  381. I’d like to not feel so lost and full of dispair, I have so much to be grateful for and I’m loving learning about Jesus’s love for me yet I don’t feel overflowing with kindness, hope, love & happiness, I desperately want to feel this way.

  382. wow, this is the kind of insight that we all need. The reminder we are not queens of our own kingdoms, but free and loved princesses, daughters of the king. We are not in control, and its our relationship to Him tht makes anything make sence.

  383. As I read the ‘Encouragement for Today’, and with reading the comments .One thing that stands out.. I Am Not Alone. It actually makes my own problems seems selfish and insufficient. God bless you all!!!

  384. Maribel Doroteo says:

    I would love to read this book for myself spiritual enrichment.. Been having struggles left and right and in the process of searching spiritual truths… Thank you.

  385. You put words to my feelings and actions that I couldn’t find words for. I am deeply moved and reminded that sin can destroy and I need to pray to stop the thought before it breeds. I would loveyour book to relate to someone whose been there, and had the courage to share her story.

  386. Tricia Smith says:

    I am interested in the book because I am still healing and slowly putting myself together in my faith. Life can be hard but without the hard times we can’t savor the good times.

  387. Holly Fisher says:

    I would like one for myself to dig deeper.

  388. Stephanie G. says:

    I would like to win the book because I feel it would be a blessing to read.
    God Bless,
    Stephanie

  389. I desire to be more confidence in myself and to be completely healed from my brokenness. I’m a mother of one but at times, I let the negative issues in my life take control of me. Oh yes, stop being controlled. I was control by my ex husband for years and I want that chain to be broken. I desire to be free and learn how to react in situations. I desire to love myself too and enjoy spending time with my son. I desire to teach him that God is the center of everything. I desire for him to pray and trust God in the midst of our craziness with his father. I desire to move on from my ex husband so he does not keep hurting me and getting under my skin. for example trying to me jealous with otter woman. I desire happiness and joy to carry out my plans for God. Focus and trust on God.

  390. Lindsay says:

    I was convicted by this verse and the realization that once we give in to sin, we spiral into confusion and death.
    I would love to read your book to learn how God brought you back and has helped you grow in dependence on Him
    I need this turn around in my life right now. Thanks for sharing so that others can be healed too!.

  391. Jennifer says:

    I would love a copy of the book! I have struggled for many years with being bound up by my own desires, giving no thought to what they would produce. Those desires to fill the void with stuff only led to a life filled with anger, strife and severe depression. Because of the grace of God, I don’t live in that same bondage anymore, but there are still times where the old desires and thoughts begin to creep in. I would love to read how you overcame and to be able to share it with others as well!

  392. This one would be good for me since I try to control things. It never works, though.

  393. I truly want the Holy Spirit to rule me, & not my passions or desires, regardless of the past.

  394. Bridget says:

    My striving, my seeking for control has been my way of trying to hold it all together. By doing so, I am becoming aware of how that pushes God out. That I am trying to do his job. Why do I trust myself to do this more than I trust God???

  395. I can so relate to what you were writing in your devotion. Searching and striving continue to be struggles for me. Thank you for sharing your life and heart!

  396. This really resonated with me! I’ve been struggling with discontentment. Would love to hear more.

  397. Carrie Malone says:

    Our family has had a rough year. My prayer life has strengthened. I have had days where I am numb but keep pushing forward. After reading this devotion I recognized some behaviors that I to am using to feel in control. I would live to read this book and see if I can sort out my feelings. Thanks proverbs31 for having a heart for God and sharing 🙂

  398. Allison says:

    The honesty I read here is so refreshing in this world. I would love the opportunity to read more from her.

  399. I would like to win this book because my daughter-in-law is suffering from stage 4 cancer in her lungs, metastacized to her brain…currently undergoing chemo, and my daughter is presently having Proton radiation for a brain tumor. We all could use some encouragement, and I enjoyed today’s devotional very much.

  400. Sara Toma says:

    My desire is for my husband to return to walking strong in the Lord. I’ve struggled with control as well with my four teenage kids. It was so much easier to control their lives when they were little children, what they watched, the friends they spent time with, etc. Now that they are older, I’m struggling with the fact that I have no control over their hearts, that only the Holy Spirit can do true heart change and true salvation. Same goes for my husband, only God can change his heart. More reason to be on my knees in prayer, giving it to God.

  401. I recently started ordering one book at a time that can help me with my faith. I am still a person of this world and always come to mind that i do need to change my ways of this world. I would LOVE to add to my collection along with sharing a book once done.

  402. I so appreciate the raw honesty of this author’s devotional today. It is so relieving to hear others’ struggles with which I can relate because it seems all too often, the Christian and church community isn’t as open and welcoming to help us with our struggles; instead it is tempting to withdraw inside ourselves and find ways to “numb out” the pain we feel inside because we are afraid of others’ judgements. Thank you for your genuineness. I can so relate to this right now, as I am struggling to mend my heart through God’s word and expose pain that I have tried to numb out or run from. This book sounds like it could be very helping to me in this process.

  403. Wow, isn’t it amazing how we can feel something was written specifically for us and fail to remember our God uses the voices of others to minister to us. What a blessing of hope. The desire to control has been my lifelong battle that I continually put at the foot of the cross and then pick right back up! As a child and young mother I tried to be perfect as a way to control what people thought of me. As a mom and then entering the workforce that desire only grew. Then we lost our 23 year old son to AIDS and I tried to control the world to make the pain go away. Now almost 20 years later, retired and still struggling with the control demon, I felt joy and hope when reading this devotion. Thank you for reminding us of our Lord’s steadfast love and desire to heal us.

  404. Plain and simple…exactly what I need at this point in my life.

  405. Zuly Perez-Ortega says:

    This really spoke to my heart. I don’t normally share very private things, but am encouraged by the others who have posted. I recently lost my mother, and her passing was just the beginning of one of the most difficult seasons of my life. Just a couple of months after her death, my marriage very suddenly and very unexpectedly ended. But the most painful thing I’ve had to deal with is my beautiful 13 year old daughter’s attempted suicide and it’s aftermath. I can relate on so many levels to today’s devotion, in particular the desire to want to somehow control a life which feels so completely out of my control. I know that I need to surrender this burden to my Heavenly Father and fully trust him; yet, I continue to find myself trying to control an hold everything together. From reading the many posts of others who are going through similar struggles with dificulties, and surrendering control to Him, I would love to have a bible study on this.

  406. Heather says:

    Thank you for sharing this today! There are days I can totally relate….praise God that he’s gracious and forgiving! Sometimes it takes many times of learning the same lesson.

  407. Pamela Garrison says:

    I have, after a very big disaster and breakdown of my marriage, learned just how fractured and broken I am. I don’t even know who I am, let alone what I need from God. I too have used many other things to fill the void and cracks of a broken life instead of turning to the One who made me and knows how to fix it. I would love this book, to guide me on the journey to find me.

  408. Jacqueline Barcos says:

    I am currently struggling with this right now in my life, it feels like torture! I hate it! I don’t want to be this way. Thank you Amber for this devotion. It spoke to my heart

  409. WOW- reading this brought tears to my eyes, because I could see not only myself but also my daughter, who is dealing with a terribly difficult situation in her life right now. I would share this book with her, because I instantly felt like your words were so relevant and real. Thanks for sharing

  410. Sheila Holmes says:

    I’m enjoying the devotionals

  411. As I read the devotion today the words kept resonating and I was thinking “I wish there was more” and then I saw there is a book on this topic! I would love to win and read this book. Thank you for sharing your story.

  412. Your devotional gave a lot to think on and apply

  413. Katie P says:

    Needed to read this today. And again tomorrow. Thank you for writing!

  414. I would like to win this for myself because I definitely need to learn how to rely on God more in the midst of my sadness and brokenness.

  415. Beautiful!! In my own life I know I am facing inner struggles that is starting to show outwardly. Searching my own heart and not expecting or blaming my husband, family or friends.

  416. Laura Wade says:

    This devotional was like taking blinders off of my eyes. As a young girl I was introduced to Christianity by my mother. As a I grew up I watch her struggle day after day, cry out to God, etc. and continue to try to control every aspect she could. As a teenager this control my mother tried to maintain drove me to an awful rebellion (mind you she was doing her best, I just reacted very poorly). I did not want to fight a battle every day of my life as she seemed to do, I thought I would do better going my own way. I don’t need to elaborate how wrong I was. Trust me I was wrong! As a young adult I personally felt love and joy in Christ, not control, was the answer. My family and I are currently at odds because I choose to trust that somehow God would reach my uncontrollable 18 yr old. I had been trying for years to reach him. My family on the other hand believes that I’ve washed my hands of my child. I am happy to say that my child is on a path that is going in the correct direction but the strain on family due to misconceptions has put a tear in my family as well as each individual involved.. The need for control is at the root of all of this. It’s a lengthy complicated situation, but this devotional just cut to the core of it for me. Thank You

  417. Charlotte says:

    Amber thank you for sharing some painful truths. Truths we all can identify with. Thank goodness God pursues His children through that hole we all feel when we let go of desires that cannot produce life more abundantly. Acts 17:27 says, …Yet He is actually not far from each one of us. He waits and hopes we will let Him fill our needs. God Bless you and your family.

  418. Robin Williford says:

    I have been drowning in the sin of overeating, overspending, and OCD with exercise off and on my entire life. My second marriage is falling apart and my kids are becoming lost in the midst of all the chaos. I go to church, but still feel broken and empty and numb. I would love to read Amber’s book and find some healing! Thank you!

  419. Connie Hall says:

    I would love to read this book so I can always remember that Jesus is my all and all. Without Him I can do nothing.

  420. Wow. All I can say is you wrote what I have lived. Thank you for your transparency and your pointing the way to true life beyond the lists and the striving.

  421. Nancy Dunker says:

    Your story sounds like mine. Our daughter Penny Faith died on Oct. 30, 2009 and we struggled through our grief too. A program called Grief Share helped us tremendously. Christian based and very comforting. Thanks for sharing your story.

  422. A timely reminder for me as I help care for my parents on top of my own family. I must pray without ceasing for God’s will & timing.

  423. Ruth Mandl says:

    Today’s devotional was right on point for me. I have struggled for so long with letting go and letting God. The bigger the trial, the tighter I hold on for control. I am tired, so very tired. I would love to read the book offered and share it with my daughter. Thank you for your ministry, God has used it many times, right on time when I”ve needed a word of encouragement or the need to take a look at my spiritual walk with him. Thank you

  424. I am struggling with desires of wanting to belong and substituting “things and food for what I really want. I am unhappy with myself and want a closer relationship with God.

  425. Michelle says:

    Would love to read this new book!

  426. I struggle with trying to find happiness through my desires (shopping and food) and long to be delivered. I try to remember that happiness is wanting what I have (loving heavenly Father, my salvation gift, amazing husband, sweet boys, lovely home, necessities, etc.) – not having what I want. I feel a strong pull to pray, read my Bible daily, and journal my thoughts.

  427. I put down my pen on the yellow legal pad, turned off the beeping on the timer of the microwave and checked the kitchen clock. Time for a 5 minute break, bathroom, drink and reset my timer for the next productive items to be completed in the next assigned slot of time. Goal. To have no more projects at the end of the day. All black lines drawn thru the items on the yellow legal pad.
    Clicked on Facebook and started reading Amber Haines story. I read MY story. I had known the driving force, vaguely in my mind, dancing to the surface and quickly suppressed if it came to clear to the surface. This.;This story in black and white made my heart race and I began to become upset and frustrated. It had a name all my busyness had a name. There is no more rose colored glasses to hid from my pain and shame. I humbly ask for help and yet my pride cries out that I do not need help. Help, the small, girl cries inside me. Help. Let God take over. He can be trusted. Stop self medicating and start having the life you were intended to have.

  428. After just beating stage 3 breast cancer… i’m sitting with the “what’s next” feeling. I have stayed focus on my Faith, my family and my heart. Everyday striving to put Him first. I would love the opportunity to read this book. 🙂

  429. I am intrigued by this book, by the notion of finding the broken way home. I would love to read this book!!

  430. So good. I would love to be entered to win– learning to reclaim this broken time has been difficult, and intensely beautiful, all at the same time.

  431. Lydie-Ann says:

    I would like to turn my desires towards God, if possible. I would like to learn how to deal with life itself, pretty hard these days.

  432. Looking forward to reading this book with my two daughters! Amber’s writing is transparent, conveying the message we don’t have to be perfect. We just have to be faithful to God. :0)

  433. I would love a copy of this book. It would be a blessing to me right now cause I am going through a rough patch right now.

  434. Katie H says:

    I’m on the journey of processing through the pain of a dysfunctional childhood. Habits, emotions I don’t understand visit me almost everyday. Lord, help me recognize you in all of this! To find your truth instead of jumping into what’s familiar. This book sounds amazing for where I’m at right now.

  435. I’m new to Christianity. I bought my first Bible and a Proverbs study guide. Would love to add this to my alone time with God. Thank you and God Bless.

  436. Abby Breuklander says:

    Thank you so much for sharing Amber, I really needed this!! I’ve heard so many wonderful things about your book, I’d love to read it!

  437. i am 57 years old, i have tried a half dozen times to write why I would like a copy of the book. I know everyone has had their trials and struggles, so it makes no sense telling u mine. with tears running down my face all I can say is I’m broken and m trying to hang on to the last thread I have in my mustard seed. I know God, I love him with all my heart and I know He loves me. I wouldn’t hurt myself either. I am digging deep with all I have in me to hang onto all I know of God at this moment. But I need more, something said differently, something done differently, something, something in Gods words that can reach me and grab hold of the Hope in God I’m clinging to: that I know is in me, but can’t access right now. Financially I can’t afford the book, but I believe since I found this website, God is reaching for me too.

  438. My desire is to have a man to share this journey of life with–a man who loves and desires and respects me. God can fulfill that desire because he already fills the broken places in my heart. I am already His beloved and a daughter of the King. I have to learn to let God be enough.

  439. I, too, feel broken. My husband began a downward spiral in 2001 and I couldn’t stop it. He died in the summer of 2005, and I’ve been in the dark so long – I don’t know how to find the light within myself again. This book sounds like the words I need …. as I strive to find a better way to live.

  440. Karey V. says:

    I am often control freak. Would love to read this book.

  441. I desire to really live to be the woman God wants me to be. I am a believer and have been most of my life but I realize or am finally honest enough with myself to know that I have been cheating God of my whole being. I want to radiate Him to all I meet. I want to soak Him in. I want to truly, in every moment, thought, word and did think I am doing this to glorify my Jesus!

  442. Karissa Brnak says:

    Lord, open my heart to all that is not of you and be present in me to heal all that needs to be healed. Amen.

  443. I would like to be able to know what desires of mine are God’s Will.

  444. Grace Crapitto says:

    I would love to read this book and experience freedom from my desires and learn to accept that God will give me more than I will ever need. Then, I would share with family and friends.

  445. Lynette Miller says:

    I would share this book with young Christian women in our church, who struggle with being a wife/mother and their own desires.

  446. Brittany G. says:

    What an incredible article and insight into a brokenness I can relate so well too. I would love to delve deeper into this subject and be able to share with other women in my life who I know are similarly struggling with these issues.

  447. mark vince says:

    Reading the post makes me want to see how other see in their perspective in order to correct what i see wrong. Its a good realization. How to apply in our real life.

  448. I just feel He wants me to truly release the pain of my daughter’s death. She was 30 & mother of 2 young daughters. Dr failed to check for blood clot, said come back next week for MRI… she passed 5 days later on her sister’s birthday. Would be able to share the copy with my daughter!! I KNOW I will see my daughter again… everybody keeps telling me “you’re so strong”… but He’s the only One keeping my head up!!
    ~Tess

  449. Wow how familiar this all sounds!!
    I would love to read this book I struggle with feeling alone as I am a single mum and try to fill the void with food or things I am on a journey of knowing who I am in Christ and accepting his love and feeling whole. I want to feel content with having God as I know he is all I need but it’s a struggle in everyday life. Thank you for sharing some of your journey I love the part about just being a daughter that we are not queen really spoke to my heart

  450. Tamika Shuler says:

    Wow! This post said a lot and spoke directly to me and my situation which took me 6 months to realize that God is always in control and through Him we can conquer our fears and overcome adversity. I want a copy of this boom to provide with continuous inspiration to seek and trust God at His word even when desires seem easy to obtain. I thank you for this post and will keep it as a constant reminder to trust God.

  451. What a powerful message. My whole life I have struggled with the seeds of desire. As I get older learn that desire leads to sin leads to shame, regert, and feelings of unworthiness. The battle of the mind is powerful and only with the Lords help can we overcome the enemy. I still fight it everyday, I try to remember that God has my back and just push forward.

  452. This sounds like a great book. It’s so easy to let things come between God and me and I feel like Satan is out in full force. God is in control and it would be much easier if I just let him control instead of trying to take the situation on myself.

  453. Carol Clark says:

    I really connected with this post…I am involved in a 12-step Ministry called Celebrate Recovery…this post really put addiction into the light in a powerful way. This book would benefit both myself and many others through my ministry. I would really love to have it. Thank you!

  454. Ratonia says:

    I never read but I would love to read this. I need some direction to the Lord.

  455. ke pike says:

    Beautifully put. I too suggestions with my wants, desires on a daily basis and often ask myself why. I also ask if we are to ask Jesus for anything and it is to be granted,should I question my desires and wants or do I just need to reevaluate?
    I know I am not free, though there are days I feel I am….but would like to feel that way as GOD has said, everyday.

  456. Courtney says:

    I feel like you could’ve been writing all this about me. I would love a copy of this book! I can think of a few people who’d probably want to borrow it from me when I was finished! 🙂

  457. Gynnette says:

    Reading the description was like reading my daily life most days. Very interested to read this book…….not sure how I got here but trying to get out and trusting it will get better.

  458. I am excited about an opportunity to win the book because I know it would bless me and my family! Thank you for offering this! 🙂

  459. Rachel Ramos says:

    No matter how many times I try to take control and run myself into a brick wall; our Lord bestows HIS GRACE in one aspect or another however; this time it’s run over to Loved ones whom I truly Love, between my health, emotions & daily struggle with self pride I was just about to say My,it’s all misunderstood hence HIS WILL for my life!?

  460. I think that I may have a little bit of understanding on this. I find retail therapy to be something I do when I feel frustrated and totally out of control where my job is concerned. I didn’t realize it was sooo bad until I see the credit bills and the BIG game changer is when I cleaned out my closets. God has blessed me more abundantly than I deserve. I realize I now need to seek HIM when I feel frustrated and discouraged…not retail therapy.

  461. My prayer is to be real, authentic, whole, and restored again. My desire to please others and be loved has turned into idolatry and I long to surrender fully to God all of my cares and concerns. In these moments of uncertainty, I find this post encouraging. Christ has set us free and one day we will be with Him forever

  462. The comment that really struck a chord with me was when she said “I was made a beloved and free daughter. I wasn’t made to be divided by desire, bearing the fruit of rage, anxiety, isolation and exhaustion.” I’ve said something similar many times. I completely feel like I’m surviving right now, not really living. I know that’s not the life my Lordwants for me

  463. Cindia Quinones says:

    My desire is to continue to know God & continue to grow in faith, obedience, & sharing my love for Jesus with my children & others.

  464. i am married t a non believer and I have two boys that r saved but thats about all. they both like in some ways want t follow there father. i sometimes get depressed cause i see my family not wanting t serve the Lord they r all distracted w there computers or phones or tv , i just want my family truly saved. my heart breaks. i read the discription on ur book and it really sounds like my life in the way I feel about my family and me. i would love t read it. i have plenty of time my husband is a over the road trucker. my boys r 21 and 15. so i have plenty of time.

  465. Alicia Haywood says:

    I am still learning and processing to be content in him. Trusting him in my singleness. Not focusing on wanting that companion but letting him fill that void. It’s a continual process and any light that helps me to grow is welcomed.

  466. Kayci Kenney says:

    THIS SPOKE TO ME! My nephew was diagnosed with lung cancer a year ago. On his 4th birthday we were at our grandmaws celebrating with cake when his mom got the call. That night quickly went from one extreme to the other. Our little heart went through an entire year of chemo and SO many scares. To top it off, his little brother also ended up with a cyst on his lung but thank GOD it wasn’t cancerous nor the softball size Hunter’s was. We pulled together under the Lord praying for the boys but i quickly found myself very angry then very emotionally withdrawn, much like described here. I’m in a MUCH better place with my Father now and i think this book would really benefit myself as well as my family.

  467. As I am finding myself and drawing close to our Father, I need as many words of encouragement that I feed myself with.

  468. I suffer from wanting control. Since I was a child, I have been wrought with the fear of losing someone I love. I worry incessantly over my kids, to the point I feel sick. I know worry is a losing battle, and I know I shouldn’t live in fear. I know I try to numb myself with movies,books, electronics, and it is wrong. I struggle everyday to give it all to God; I know my burden would be a lot lighter. I am a slow work in progress. The worst part is, as much as I love my kids and husband,my fear for their safety steals the joy they bring me.

  469. I can absolutely identify with your struggle, Amber! I didn’t have a name for it until today: desire. Sin has a way of staining desire, making the beautiful something ugly. Thank you for sharing today!
    And I would love to share a copy of this book with one of my dear friends who is in the process of sending her eldest son to a group home.

  470. Jackie A . says:

    So many times my emotions seem to take over and yes I would Love to win this book. I’m learning to Let Go Let God and lay it down and leave it at the alter. I have lost my home in the tornado and my Son father passed away my sister murdered and my dad passed away . No I don’t want pity lost what was left in two floods but please let me say I don’t have my home here my Home is in Heaven. I’m have to much Love to give to my Son a sophomore in college . As we travel this new journey together I can’t wait to see all that God has for him & I . God is my ever present help in time of need. I’m blessed and highly favored by Gods Grace .

  471. Please help me. I read the devotion, it read like something that I currently need 2 read however in some forms I don’t understand it. Was it the desire to b ok? Was it the desire 2 control things so nothing bad would happen? And where did the sin part occur?

  472. Katie L. says:

    Amber’s writing touches a nerve within me and I am thankful for her obedience to write. Our own desires do hinder us from the Word of Truth planted within us. Praise God it is all ready planted within us.

  473. Ashley Simons says:

    Wow, reading this was like reliving the last 2 hours of my night. I stood at my counter making to do lists, meal plans, shopping lists, all these to do lists, yet not actually getting a single thing done.I felt myself going crazy as my head spun and I knew it was time to sit with God for awhile. I almost always start my day reading scripture and visiting Proverbs 31 site, but today didn’t start that way. Now I know why, this morning this message would not have resonated with me the same. God needed me to turn to him tonight in my weak moments so that I could receive this message. Thank you and God Bless.

  474. Thank you for such an insightful message. It really touched something inside me. I realised how I use things to make me feel better and in control when I should just be kneeling at the feet of Jesus as he is the only one that can really make me feel better

  475. Deana Wallace says:

    Would love to win the book!

  476. Vanessa G says:

    I definitely related to what she talked about and would love to read the book.

  477. I know the feeling well of trying to maintain my control in out of control situations. When all else fails, we distract ourselves. Sounds like a great book!

  478. There are times when a message creates a ‘ping’ in your spirit and there are times when you feel a ‘nudge’, this was neither. This was a GONG!! It was like a big brass gong being beat with a hammer, saying, “Pay attention, this is for you!!” Control is such an ugly thing when we try to manage it, but when it is used properly, it can bring such freedom. The hard part (for me) is to learn the difference from being in control and learning to live in self-control. Thanks for being transparent. Look forward to reading your book.

  479. I began to skim through the message today (as I tend to do when I feel I don’t have much “time” to get other things done) and I stopped in my tracks as i read about control. This is me. This the battle I face daily when I am searching for my “purpose”. Lists, purchases, returns, errands to keep me busy. At the end of the day all the time, the researching, the buying, the running around just robs me of finding the peace that I can find if I just look in the right place right?

  480. Meghan Beauchamp says:

    I am really encouraged by this blog post & I would love the honor of this book as a gift 🙂 I know it would strengthen my relationship with God.

  481. I have been trying to fill the void with material things, an unhealthy relationship and I see a pattern but it’s so hard to seek the one true desire even though I know that’s the only true way to fulfillment. I would love the book to help me get back on track!

  482. The title of the book caught my attention and then when I read the description it spoke to me. I have been a wayward Christian always feeling and hearing God and knowing he’s pulling me a certain direction but I always end up choosing my own way. I have recently encountered some things in my life that have brought me to a point that I am so desperate to be healed and whole and the chase God with my whole heart and surrender my entire life to him. I cannot deny God to anybody and I’m not ashamed to tell my story to anybody. God is calling me to make some very significant changes in my life but I’m still so broken. I think this book would be one more thing to help me along this journey to restoration.

  483. Annie M. says:

    I wish I had read something like this 6 years ago! My 16 year old became quite rebellious- so much so that my husband resigned as a deacon in our church. After struggling for a year with the situation I finally just said ok God, I will handle this since you don’t seem interested in helping us with this. Boy did things go from bad to worse! It took me a while, but when I handed it back to God He took control! I look back now and see exactly where He was all the time- right beside us. My family has a testimony of Gods work when we let Him take control. I look back with amazement and awe at what He did with our situation. It’s a long story, but just will say Yhank God for not giving up on us! I was a horrible mess during that time, but we have all come through that trial of life so much better and stronger in faith. Thank you for this post and I hope others are encouraged by it!

  484. Rebecca Fritz says:

    My desires always seem to pull me away from God. Would love this book to help me on my faith walk.

  485. I, too, have been struggling lately with going my own way and not listening to God’s plan for me. I feel as if I could greatly benefit from the wisdom this book contains!

  486. I would love to have a copy of your book. I only had to read a little bit of the beginning a felt like you were explainin my life. It’s such a good read and I want to know more. Thank you for sharing your life experiences with me.

  487. This book sounds great

  488. I desire for my son to be mentally whole and healthy. What if that isn’t God’s desire? He has used my son as a light of Him to people in psychiatric hospitals and in jail. I want my desires to line up with God’s.

  489. Lavada Rivkin says:

    I needed this today! This fits my life In a different way to a tee right now! I know that God desires for me to have an abundant happy life in him and sometimes the desires we have towards others hinder all of that; and they bring sin into your world.

  490. Understanding more and more that I am not the planner of my life. I trust God’s plan and believe it is good, but still struggle with my desire for my own plan. Thankful for Proverbs 31 to keep me grounded in my thoughts and my heart focused on Jesus.

  491. I am desperately seeking my way back to God after terrible pain. Maybe this would be helpful.

  492. Tamika ONeal says:

    I spent many years doing my own thing and not allowing God to be first in my life. Now I am striving to grow closer to God and His desires be my desires. This book would be a blessing.

  493. Recently moved to a new state, looking for a new church, new friends, new community, etc. This book would be so helpful in my transition.

  494. Danielle Knight says:

    This message hit me where it counts. I am a single mom and I find myself trying to be in control of things. I want so bad to give my daughter a good life that sometimes I overload myself. This has gotten me to place where addicton took over my life. But by the grace of God I finally surrendered my life to to Him. I think I would really benefit from reading this book. Thank you for reminding me of what I forget at times.

  495. Would live this book to hand to a special person in my family who is divorced single mum and just hasn’t got her life back together… Burning it at both ends trying to do it all on her own. Please can I have a copy of this book, it may just be what she needs.

  496. Susan J. says:

    I think everyone has these desires. It is like before you know it you have put everything before God withou really meaning too. Would love a copy of the book!

  497. Karen C. says:

    Thank you so much. This devotion spoke deeply to me. I will be keeping and rereading it over and over! This is a reminder I need since I struggle with the desire to control my environment and situations, instead of releasing that control to and fully aligning my desires with God. I know better, but I am a “fixer” and that release of control is especially hard in crisis. I would love a copy of your book to help me grow in this area of my life.

  498. Stephanie says:

    My Husband fell out of a tree stand in 1997, broke his back and was told he would never walk again. He walked out of the hospital 2 months later with paralysis, but he had to control every breathe everyone in his world took from then on, becoming more and more controlling as the months and years went on. He’s starting to realize it just this year, but relationships have been devastated by it. He’s not hopeless but rather a work in progress. I think this book would be the encouragement he could use. Loved the devotional!

  499. Martha L. Jenkins says:

    I changed the wording a little but this is me. After my husband passed away, I needed control. Then my water heater flooded my house, washer, freezer and car broke at the same time. and then my 10 year old niece was diagnosed with cancer. I had no control. BUT God in his compassion continually kept on reminding me he was in control just trust. I’m not striving as much and when someone else’s car breaks (I borrowed) I did not cry I let God take control. I look forward to reading your book.
    I sat for hours making lists. I listed foods In my pantry, I made a list of what my grandchildren will eat. I scanned my schedule and wrote down every move I would make. I wanted control of myself, to make myself a life. The desire to survive created in me a striving I had never known. I was striving so hard that I had to lean into the kitchen counter to hold up my lungs. I was working to breathe.Every step of striving was a wall, a barrier against love and a refusal to trust my Heavenly Father. Every effort toward control made me more numb, and if you can’t feel, you aren’t alive anymore. Control was killing me. Just as our key verse in James 1:15 points out: sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.

  500. Delores Payseur says:

    I want to be a woman of God and to bear His fruits!

  501. Adriana B says:

    I thank you for being humble and sharing this bit of your story with us. Your words ,”All along, maybe I just wanted a little bit of my own kingdom, a place where I knew I would be okay, but I wasn’t made to be queen.” have really stuck with me and brought to mind so many decisions I have made over the last few years. Things I believe God might approve of, but only if He leads… Instead, I have been playing queen and making decisions without seeking and waiting for His guidance. Your book sounds like a helpful guide to a better mindset and, most importantly, a reality check on my Walk.

  502. Kristin says:

    What a great read! I know I would enjoy this book and then share it with a few friends too!

  503. This is a problem we all face, standing at the crossroads…

  504. I just recently said to my husband that I know it’s wrong to want everything and everyone in our house to be perfect, but it’s my way of not letting the outer chaos of the world in. I had unintentionally attempted to make our home a bubble, a safe haven from what I fear the most, chaos. In the process I have become chaos myself, full of anxiety and disorder. Thank you for your words and sharing your story. With God’s help I am learning to trust and rest in His presence.

  505. Life has knocked me around some. Reading your book will help.

  506. Melissa says:

    I would love to read your book, then pass it to my daughter. This past year has been really rough, I’ve finally had to accept thhat at only 40 I can no longer hold down a job and sometimes not even accomplish simple tasks in my own home due to RX drug induced memory loss. My short term memory only lasts about 10 days then gets foggy or justs leaves. This has caused me to try and take back my life from God. I can’t help trying to control everything around me because I know I will forget it, and I hurt so bad inside knowing that these memories of my children won’t last so current “control” seems” to be all I have. Sometimes I feel he just isn’t listening anymore.

  507. Angela M says:

    Boy oh boy, does this ever resonate with me. I’m constantly planning and organizing in an effort to make myself feel like I have it all together, and on the surface it often appears that I do, but deep inside, it sure doesn’t feel like I have it all together. Some days are good, and some days I feel like I bottom out and don’t know which way to turn.

  508. Suzanne Rushlow says:

    Thank you for sharing this devotional. I would love to read her book.

  509. Deborah Prince says:

    I struggle with these problems every day I would like to read this book

    Thank you

  510. I would so love to win a copy of this book! I feel like I am on my way back from brokenness. I did everything I knew to do to save my marriage…I always put my husband first, many times before God. When I crisis would come, I would try to fix it instead of trusting and allowing God to make the corrections needed or provide to provision. When you trust God FULLY that’s where freedom begins…I’m not there yet, but I letting Him take the reins more each day.

  511. Noelle Santspree says:

    I’ve recently dedicated my life to Christ and love to read any inspiring Christian books that I can find.

  512. Amber,
    First, I want to say your writing is beautiful. I was hooked immediately. And second, I can completely relate. Control: it’s a burden isn’t it? Completely unattainable and even if it was we’re crazy to want it.

  513. SARA WILCOX says:

    What a great devotional today!! This one hit home and was true to life. Thanks!

  514. Darla Blake says:

    My family is in this crisis right now. I see the need for control in both my husband and myself. This devotion got to the heart of it.

  515. Thank you so much for your post. I am a single mom to three boys and lately I have been trying to control my out of control circumstances. The requests from my boys seem to never, ever end and I was losing it fast. Last Monday was my breaking point. What was I trying to control? Why was I trying to control? God has everything in control and knows what needs to happen next in this story of my life. Lay it down, lay it all down at the foot of the cross and God please help me to leave it there for you to transform into something amazingly beautiful to glorify yourself. God can do all things – I can’t do anything alone. I am here for his glory. I am here to worship and show others how amazing life can be walking with my Savior.

  516. Annette Heins says:

    Amber, while reading your daily devotion I realized and acknowledge how my life is exactly as you described. I am broken and desire to throw away,change,the life (thoughts, actions, control ) I am deceptively living,and live the life that God (and I) desires for me.

  517. Andrea Coppock says:

    This book would be a huge blessing to read, as I have spent all my life trying to be in control and then loosing it completely last year with the onset of anxiety. By God’s healing grace I am much better, but I still have not truly learned how to Let Go and Let God! This book would help in so many ways. Thank you 🙂

  518. This book sounds great. I would love to win a copy!

  519. I LONG to feel free and whole in Christ my Lord and my God!

  520. I struggled with trying to control everything after my dad’s suicide. I also became numb and all I wanted was to feel again. It was hard for me to trust God at that point. I felt abandoned, so I ran from God when I should have run to Him. When I found Him again, I was able to live again. I felt loved again. Unfortunately, when times get hard, I still find myself trying to control things. It’s still my instinct to rely on myself or run to people for help instead of God. I don’t want to do that anymore. I don’t want to create that distance between myself and God. I want to put my full trust in Him.

  521. cynthia Favata says:

    Getting the chaos out of our heads leaves room for Gods words to grow and flourish. Then we become His first fruits!

  522. Joy Marks says:

    God has brought this devotional to my attention yesterday & again this morning trying to get me to see why I’m breaking in a million pieces. I have been a control freak all my life….just didn’t realize it….blind to it. Not a lot of emtional support as a child, 2 husbands that left me for other women, traumatic behavioral issues w/ my daughter ( that was probably a reflection of my behavior ) – all these things & more have left me grasping at straws, trying every little thing to control even the smallest areas of my life. I am tired. I don’t want to do it anymore. However, now that I’m aware, I don’t quite know what to do with this except to wait for God to show me the next step. I would love a copy of this book, but if I’m not picked, I will certainly try to go buy one. Thank you & all the others for sharing their stories – SO helped me feel like I’m not alone in this struggle !!!!

  523. Fran Vickers says:

    After reading your testimony. I believe this book would be helpful for me and others in my life. Thanks.

  524. Kim Johnson says:

    I would like her book just because she inspires me!
    Kim J

  525. What a beautiful testimony! It spoke volumes to my heart. With so many painful issues I am dealing with today, this moved me. Thank you!

  526. I’m trying to find my broken way home….

  527. Cheryl Leppard says:

    My desire is that I get closer to God, and study the Bible more. I am also praying that my children walk with God again. God bless yo.

  528. Michelle says:

    I would love to get a copy of this book. I struggle every day with remembering that I am not in control and letting go and trusting God.

  529. Jessica Varner says:

    I loved today’s devotion and related well with it! Controlling things gives us a false sense of security!!!! Would love a copy of this book!

  530. Would love to have a copy of this book. I can imagine it’s full of wisdom being that you have walked this road & share your journey. I wrestle with my desires & I too want to be free & full of Gods desires that give me life, not take it as my desires do. Thank you!

  531. rebecca brown says:

    I would love to win a copy of this book, in the midst of a hard day this devotion showed up on my FB feed. It was exactly what I needed, I have a terminally ill adult son, my 18 yr old daughter is in boot camp with very little communication, and my 11 year old who we adopted from Africa is struggling to bond, I am not a fearful person and yet found myself becoming overwhelmed with the need to escape my own anxiety. This excerpt was a WORD directly to my heart, I was desperate to be free from fear of my kids failure, in reality it is my own sin of not accepting the good gifts He has given me, instead looking for the dark clouds. Thank you!

  532. I would love a copy of this book for myself and to share with my neighbor. We are both going through a difficult time in our marriages and could use some extra support and guidance. We are both trying to lean on God and learn from our storm.

  533. Kristin says:

    I would love to win a copy of this book. After having my twins, I resigned from my job as a teacher and I am now staying home with my twins and three year old son. This devotion really hit home with me. I’m struggling with the desire to be skinnier again, the desire to have the latest clothes (even though we can’t afford it now) and the desire to do what God has meant for me to do, but feeling lost all at the same time. I’m so thankful for Proverbs 31 ministries and the women who write these devotions that help me put things into perspective and lead me closer to Christ.

  534. All my life I have struggled with issues of control and the need to satisfy desires. God has healed me in some areas but I’ve realized I have more I need to surrender. Would love to read this book.

  535. Would LOVE to have this book. This devotion hit really hard. I struggle with depression and sever PTSD, I need to surrender more and let my self do more of what he asks of me. Thank you for this opportunity!!

  536. I find I am always struggling to get control of things in my life. I was at the mercy of others while growing up and tried to get comfort in so many others things earlier in my life. Today, I lean more on him, but I know the trust I need to have in Jesus
    Christ is not what it should be. To see the whole picture, to have the insight and tools, and to have victory and be an example for others is my goal. I think this book would help me with this goal.

  537. Firstbi would like to say thank you for sharing your story. I feel so very much in need of this book. I am going through a time so hard and hurtful i keep apologizing to the Lord for the lack of compassion and desire i have for my husband and to be married to him anymore. I am stuck with him trapped with a man that has multiple sclerosis. Before he was diagnosed he spent all of his free time getting drunk as early as possible on his every day off from work and as soon as he came home from work.He was drunk at the birth of all three of our children, never involved with the kids.Now theyre teenagers and of course he blames me for his relationship or lack of one with them. he is no longer able to drink but hes still the same person unable allow the Lord to change him .i feel lije i have forgiven him for the past but i dont know how to heal i am so tired of who he is he is manipulative verbally abusive boring and is not capable of carrying on a conversatio he just repeats what you say in question form has no ideas of his own he is unrealistic and i just want to walk away my kids love him but they too are tired of his nagging about things that dont matter ” who used this cup make sure you wash it out, is your room clean? whose sock is on the floor in the bedroom?” he never connected or bonded with them and i am burdened with guilt over how i feel i want to be free of this man who is the worst person i know. maybe this book will help me to see some things that i haven’t
    been able to see. I read my bible, i go to a wonderful church, i have had a counseling session with my pastor years ago he was kind and tried to be helpful but if youve never walked in the shoes you cant really tell someone what to do.Thank You for allowing me to express myself and even ic i dont win a copy of your book Thank You for helping others Sincerely, LourdesByrd

  538. Jeannette says:

    Your devotion came at a time when I could no longer understand my ridiculous desire for control and the lack of peace it was giving me. I have so much I need to turn over to God, and your devotion opened my eyes that the more control I attempted to gain, the more confused and unhappy I was getting. Thank you.

  539. Thank you so much for your word today. Again so timely. I was very intrigued by your comments so spent a lot of my time today learning about your background from your website and reading the first few chapters of your book. Your story echos mine in a lot of ways. It is so refreshing to hear that I am not alone in my struggles as a woman.
    I get so frustrated with myself as everytime I think I am getting my act together, temptation comes rushing in and I’m back to square one. I would be so abundently blessed to read your book and hopefully get some tools that will help me to move out of this trap of selfish desire.
    It is not an easy subject to discuss with friends, because of the shame and it often seems few can relate. I am grateful for your candor and being open about your personal life. I look forward to the read. I only wish it was coming out today! But hey, I guess that’s just one step towards getting a grip on my desires…

  540. Bridget says:

    Thank you for sharing your heart! I can so relate. I look forward to reading your book!

  541. I am guilty of trying to control most things in my life too. Your words struck a chord in me. Thanks!

  542. I’d like to win the book to help guide me in not becoming a victim to the verse in James1:15 due to lonlyness and unhappiness in a 20 yr marraige I just keep intertaing the thought of walking away from it all but do recognize tht is not of the lord and I am trying to do my best to draw closer to God for guideabce and wisdom. In any event tnx

  543. Mary Burkett says:

    This devotion today truly spoke to my need. I have been in this same place of brokenness and been driven into despair. Thank you for your healing ministry.

  544. Kinda sums up me. Thanks for the great devotion. I can so relate. I hope your son is doing better

  545. Good morning,
    What a great way to start the day reading encouragement such as this! I would love to read this book too. The longer I truly “look” into my heart, I see how many idols I have truly set up. Desires that have ruled me for years and am so thankful God is showing me His great love and forgiveness, and a way of peace.

  546. Caroline Holbrook says:

    I would love a copy of this book free or not. I was talking with my mom yesterday about the crumbling of three families in our small home town in east Tennessee. We discussed the lack of leadership and purpose for the men who are letting their families die right in front of our eyes. Sin has gripped my small town and I want to help by giving my mom the book and empowering her to talk with truth and love to these wives.

  547. Terri Girt says:

    What a timely message full of conviction. I am fractured and full of anxiety I haven’t experienced ever to the point I almost went to the emergency room. All related to a job that was supposed to be something amazing and fulfilling. Because of the work there has been more tension in my marriage, my body and even my teenage son has been telling me to move on. I am exhausted and working to breathe every day.

  548. Toni McCurley says:

    I am more than broken. In the past couple of years i have gone through bankruptcy, divorce, unemployement & foreclosure. I isolate myself more and more and I have so many doubts. Would love to have and read this book.
    Grateful!

  549. Toni McCurley says:

    I am more than broken and in need of restoration! In the past couple of years i have gone through bankruptcy, divorce, unemployement & foreclosure. I isolate myself more and more and I have so many doubts. Would love to have and read this book.
    Grateful!

  550. WOW! Very well written. Thank you for the reminder! I needed this today. In Him I am whole. 🙂 We have been looking for a good book to read and study. This sounds like the perfect one. Be blessed!

  551. Denise G. says:

    Thank you for this devotion today, so timely and so needed for my heart. I as well would like to read your book. In my weaknesses I find myself trying to be in control instead of giving God control. I’m a work in progress in this area and I thank God for growing me into the image of Our Beloved Savior more and more.
    Blessings~
    Denise G

  552. Dowell Parker says:

    Disappointments in life can so often lead women into this trap. It helps to have good sources such as Proverbs 31 to remind us to rely on the Lord.

  553. I need to put my priorities in order.

  554. It’s so easy to let my wants get the better of me. Then I get disappointed because I focus on what I don’t have instead of what I do have. Right now I’m looking for a new job and I keep focusing on what I want instead of constantly asking God what He wants for me. I would like to read this book to help get my desires lined up better to God’s desires for me.

  555. “I wasn’t made to be divided by desire, bearing the fruit of rage, anxiety, isolation and exhaustion.”

    When I read this I identified with each one, sadly. I’ve got some work to do!

  556. I enjoyed reading your words about the traumatic experience you encountered when your son was in the hospital. Not feeling in control and “fractured” must be the ultimate way to become lonely, forlorn and in the grip of death. I know your experience will bring many women to a realization that God’s ways are beyond our reasoning, and we need to trust Him and not our ways of coping. I’d love to read your book. I pray your son is doing better.

  557. I just want to be free and happy again.

  558. Brenda Pisco says:

    I would give a copy to my son, Joe- He always needed to be in control, with life, with his family, with friends- till the day that all he thought he had was gone, both marriages done, both of his sons do not what to know him, his own brother turned his back on him. At this time, God has him where he needs to be, he can only reach up- which he has. This book will help him during his growing in Christ- thank you, Bren

  559. Debby Stevens says:

    Control issues haunt me.. though I try to identify them and turn away…it is tough.
    thank you…

  560. Constance Sills says:

    It is so true, when life strikes back at us, we can go through the motions of giving it to God, praying and reading the Bible, but still find ourselves striving and carrying the load ourselves, having trouble surrendering it completely to God. This book answers the needs of my life now with pressures and challenges at work.

  561. This so hits home with me. For the past 6 months I have been going through a lot and now that I am on the other side of this journey I can see how I have done the same thing. I was needing to feel some since of control and I have been fooling myself. God has brought me to a place of knowing I need to surrender all to him. I’m doing ok,but I can’t let my guard down just yet. It has brought me to a place of brokenness. I know I have a long way to go. I would love to have your book to help me grow even more in this process. Thank you for sharing and being so honest about what you went through.

  562. Wish for a copy of book, WILD IN THE HOLLOW, for the prayers says it all: “Help me” recognize my desires and give me wisdom to know what will be born from them. Bear in me the fruit of Your Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self-control. Lord, this is my freedom. Please set me free. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

  563. I’ve been waiting to read this book since I heard the first whisperings about it a few months ago!

  564. Kris Lovelace says:

    My heart desires some healing in ways that maybe I don’t even know yet how to pinpoint, for His names same, for my children’s hearts sakes, and for other reasons. I’d love to dive into this book, learn some things, and share them…

  565. Thank you so much this is what I needed. I’m going through a terrible divorce, I have a protective order against my husband. I’m such a planner and things have not gone the way I intended them to. My husband became mentally ill and abusive and I’ve struggled because he used Bible verses to back up what he was doing. I try to make everything perfect I try to get everything right the end of the day my whole life is a mess. This help me realize that I’m not giving my true trust in God I’m trying to trust myself I’m trying to get everything done on my own.but I feel like now I am broken down and broken and I can’t hardly do the normal things that I need to get done.

  566. Janet Bowman says:

    As I read this devotional, I felt that God was speaking DIRECTLY to me. Obviously many of us struggle with this desire to control and fear of giving our entire life over to our Creator (it is somehow comforting to know that I’m not alone in this). Thank you for your words of truth and insight. And thank you for allowing your life to be an instrument to remind people ~ like me! ~ to follow the path of Christ instead of planning the path for Him!

  567. Amanda matson says:

    Wow! What a powerful devotion! This hit me hard! Doing all the things you talked about in it. To sum it up in 3 years I lost my mother took on the raising of my sisters, stepped out in ministry with my husband, got hurt in ministry. It happens I know!!! I went so willingly the first time and trusted but now it’s different. I know in my head God has not changed but I really need the revelation of that love in my heart!!

  568. Thanks be to God who daily bares my (our) burdens. I am thankful for the women in my life, near, far, some whom I’ve never met that porw out their wisdom & life so that I (we) can be encouraged & blessed.

  569. angie widman says:

    After just reading this post today, I know that my life has gotten way out of control and not at all where God wants me to be. Alot has happened in our family over the last 2yrs that have devistated us and really shook our faith. Fallen church, child who became brainwashed by things not of God, a husband who was teetering on the brink of salvation has now became bitter and angry at the whole “religion” thing. I have tried so hard to fix things on my own and have fallen to a point that I never thought I would be. So much temptation that I have fallen into to find what I needed to cope with daily life in a broken angry home. I need Jesus to become the center again and bring healing. I am struggling with my own anger and bitterness. My head knows what needs to be done, but my heart is a different story. I would love to read this new book and get any help that I can to break the brokeness that we are dealing with. God Bless

  570. Thankyou for the great inspiration. Would love to have this book because right now my husband and I are challenged by life to take risk for the sake of our kids. We are undecided on which decision to take and what to do and because of the pressure of all this its affecting our health, relationship and financial needs which has made my husband to really turn to the pleasures of this world to find meaning and satisfaction. This book will help us to focus on God and make Him the centre of all our decision making cause He alone knows the future. Also it would be a perfect and appropriate gift for my husband dince his birthday is on 15 August

    Thank you and God bless.

  571. as a young (premature) widow, i did struggle with “why” God let my husband leave us at 43 years old… he was a good man, a great dad and could do more good for more people here…he was saved a year before the accident… all these reasons why “I” thought he should have been spared. I learned that accidents happen… not as a punishment for his or my actions, just the fact that accidents happen. I know my faith and belief never waivered… still don’t… but i am really saddened by the loss of “friends” that have evaded our lives since my husband’s passing. I forge ahead as a single mom of three girls now and pray every day to see HIS purpose for our lives now….

  572. I am going through this right now. It is hopeless and unfulfilling to live this way. Wanting to fill the emptiness with food or shopping online. Wishing my life to be different but not knowing how to change.

  573. I’m ashamed to admit that as much as I love the idea of marriage and family I desire another kind of life where I’m more confident in who I know I should be.
    I over compensate because of it.

  574. I have been a single mother for more years than I haven’t. I am constantly fighting desire to run away and just disappear to get away from all the responsibility of raising 3 young kids by myself. I have recently really found myself muddling through things on my own instead of trying to honor God and trust that His plan for my life will take me out of this black hole when the time is right. I know I still have things to learn at this stage of my life and that’s why God still has me here. I do want to discover His purpose for my life and how He wants me to share my testimony with the world, but I just don’t know where to start. I have been praying for what seems like years for answers. I need a copy of Amber’s book so that I can get my life back on track. This is the one article that has really spoken to where my heart is – in this lost and dark place right now.

  575. I desire for things to slow down – starting a college search with my high school junior and dealing with defiance from our four year old, along with a full time job and being asked to do more in our church is overwhelming me. I feel like I can’t get quiet enough to hear what God wants me to do (and when I do try to get quiet enough, I fall asleep!). Would love to read this book.

  576. we have been so much blessed seeing your web sight for many years, We are in india, taking care of 115 orphan handicapped children, and 49 pastors in india
    thanks much,
    David and Susan

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