Dealing with Deep Grief

Dealing with Deep Grief

September 24, 2015

"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18 (NIV)

Lysa TerKeurst

Losing someone you love can cut into your heart so viciously it forever redefines who you are and how you think. It’s what I call deep grief.

It strains against everything you’ve ever believed. So much so, you wonder how the promises that seemed so real on those thin Bible pages yesterday could possibly stand up under the weight of this enormous sadness today.

I once stood at the side of a casket too small to accept. Pink roses draped everywhere. And I watched my mom as she lay across the casket refusing to let go. How could she let go? Part of her heart lay within, so quiet and so still.

I stood paralyzed and stunned. Just days ago we were laughing and doing everyday things and assuming that all of our lives stretched before us in spans of many, many years. And then suddenly … it all stopped.

In the flurry of funeral plans and memorial services we all operated on automatic. People were everywhere. Soft chatter filled in the gaps that our stunned silence could not. And people brought in enough food to feed the whole neighborhood.

But eventually people went back to their own lives. The soft chatter dissipated. The food stopped coming. And we were forced to carry on. Only we had deep grief wrapped about us that made our throats feel strangled and our feet stuck in mud.

I remember around that time when I tried to go to a drive-thru to order some food. But I couldn’t. I sat there with the speaker spouting words at me I couldn’t process. The cashier kept asking if she could take my order.

Yeah, I had an order. Take away my bloodshot eyes. Take away my desire to hurt the doctors that couldn’t save my little sister. Take away my anger toward God. And then take away my guilt for being the one who lived. I’ll take all that with no onions and extra ketchup, please.

I drove away sobbing. How dare they offer happy meals! No one should be happy today. Or tomorrow. Or next year.

This is the reality of deep grief. Even when you love God and believe in His promises. Even when you know without a doubt that some day you will see your loved one again. Even when you know hope is still there. Even when you know He is near.

It takes time.

It takes wading through an ocean of tears.

It takes finding a possession of your loved one you thought was lost and realizing God did that just to comfort you. It takes discovering one day that the sun still shines. It takes being caught off guard when you catch yourself smiling, only to realize it’s okay.

It takes prayer. It takes making the decision to stop asking for answers and start asking for perspective. It takes telling people to please not avoid saying her name — you want to hear it, over and over and over again.

Then one day you take off the blanket of deep grief. You fold it neatly and tuck it away. You no longer hate it or resist it. For underneath it, wondrous things have happened over time. Things that could only have come about when Divine Hope intersects with a broken world.

And finally you can see years stretching before you once again. You look up, blow a kiss, wipe a tear and find it’s still possible to dance.

Dear Lord, thank You for assuring me that Your promises hold true even when life seems to betray me. You are my strength and my hope. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

TRUTH FOR TODAY:
Psalm 30:11-12a, "You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing. You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy, that I might sing praises to you and not be silent." (NLT)

Psalm 18:28, "You, LORD, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light." (NIV)

RELATED RESOURCES:
Read more about Lysa TerKeurst’s testimony and how God redeemed her pain in Becoming More Than a Good Bible Study Girl. Get your copy here.

Help your child through a difficult time of change or loss with Lysa’s children’s book, It Will Be Okay. Purchase your copy here.

REFLECT AND RESPOND:
Are you deeply grieving the loss of someone or something?

Give yourself permission to mourn, cry and feel raw emotions. Bring your heartache to the Lord in prayer and allow Him to just be near in this hard time.

If you know someone deeply grieving, don’t ask, "Is there anything I can do?" Instead, be proactive and just do something to help them this week — buy groceries for them, mow their lawn, babysit their children, etc.

Lysa TerKeurstClick here to pin the imageClick here to download this free printable PDF

 

© 2015 by Lysa TerKeurst. All rights reserved.

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Comments

  1. Thank you so much. ..I read this as I am struggling with the loss of my oldest son. It was what I needed to hear.

  2. Dejanay Tippens says:

    This post really put things into perspective for me. I am a Senior in college without a confident direction as to what is next. I lost my mom last year after she lay in a medically induced coma for almost three years. I grieved for a very long time, even when she was in the coma. I thought that the hurt would never go away. And sometimes it will still hit me, but I am progressing and pressing forward. I thank you for this post because it shows me that my reality is not unfamiliar to the world around me. It also shows me that I have the ability to move forward and not be set aback from the heartbreak of grief.

    • Dejanay,
      I don’t know you, but I lost my mom when I was just sixteen. And though her passing was just two days, the pain you feel when you lose a mom is excruciating. I cannot fathom how hard it was for you to lose her slowly. I just wanted you to know I am praying for you. Moving forward does happen, but the rate of moving forward is different for everyone. And there will be times waves will rush over you again. Let them do that and just hang onto the vine.

      • Yes, I agree with Anne…although I was too young to process the loss of my mother. I lost my mother at age 7 in a car accident that killed her. I was in the car too but don’t remember the accident. Because I didn’t process it at the time (no support system), I had to deal with it later as an adult.

        • Sharolyn Jackson says:

          This post is an example of “when Divine Hope intersects with a broken world” as it was written on the day my mom passed away, 39 years ago. I lost her when I was fifteen, after she had fought breast cancer for just over a year. I still remember like it just happened and for some reason, it has been a difficult anniversary for me. After she was gone, I was consumed with filling the void for my brother and my dad, taking on all of the household tasks, daily food preparation and helping with the dairy farm. My dad remarried as I was graduating from college and I was finally relieved of the responsibilities, but then the wave of grief hit. With the love of family, wonderful friends and a fulfilling career I was able to dance again. I’m reminded, though, of the waves of life as my husband is now living with terminal cancer. Thank you for this post…. for reassurance. I know the road ahead will be difficult, and I know that God walks beside me every step of the way.

        • BrokenHearted says:

          <3

    • God bless you Dejanay,

  3. Thank you so very much! My 24-yr old Son died as the result of a motorcycle wreck on August 2nd… His Birthday is September 25th… I sincerely appreciate your words of strength & encouragement.

    • Janette Richardson says:

      Dear Jacquelin, I just read your post and feeling for you so much, especially today, your son’s birthday. Thinking about you and praying for you. May you feel God’s love and His precious arms around you. Love, Janette xx

    • Gloria Gilpatrick says:

      Jacquelin, My heart goes out to you. I will hold you close in my prayers right now as you remember your son’s birthday. My prayers are also that God will bring warm, precious memories of times spent with your son. You are so well loved by our Heavenly Father and strangers, too. With love…

    • Jacquelin,
      I will be praying for you tomorrow. Anniversary dates are difficult, but God knows when our hearts are heavy and his powerful arms can carry all of us. I pray that others let you share about your son, as I remember that was one thing that I was afraid of. That people would forget my sister who was killed by her husband. Thank you for sharing about your son so we could lift you up.

    • Mustard seed says:

      Praying for you Jacquelin as my little boy’s birthday is also September 25th. I cannot even begin to imagine your pain.

    • Jacqueline, I share in your grief. I am so sorry that we have this in common. My son was 20 and passed away August 21, 2015 …also in a motorcycle accident, hit and tun. I know EXACTLY what you are feeling. Feel free to connect to my FB page…Christina Robertson. I have joined a Bereaved Parents support group and also some trauma grief counseling. I am strong in my faith, but sweetie, it has been said that this is the hardest grief to endure. Support people who accept you and allow you to feel everything you feel…are good people to have in your life. What we are grieving is normal and everyone grieves at a different pace. Don’t allow anyone to tell you otherwise. Hold on to the Word of God…I am trying. This is a monumental journey. I cry as I write. I know how you feel. Your sister in Christ and in grieving! Christina

  4. I’ll second Natalie with another thank you. I also read this as I am grieving. I lost my grandmother earlier tonight and this post was exactly the comfort I needed from God.

    • Fallon,
      I am sorry for your loss. I pray that the memories you have of your grandmother will be those that bring a smile to your hurting heart. I’m praying for you as you go through these next days.

  5. Thank you so much i lost my mom in 2013 and its been really hard im also at a rock bottom state my marriage is almost over n i dont have a home well im staying at my grandpas but hes selling his house its been real tough for me

    • Paul,
      I pray that you would have peace as you still ache for your mom. I also pray that you can find a place where you will once again feel at home. I lost my mom when I was sixteen and it’s never the right time to lose a mom. I’ll be praying for you.

  6. Nancy Taylor says:

    One year ago today I lost my dad!! Only God knew how much I would need these words today!! Thank you Lysa!! Thank you God!
    Read my post today on my Facebook page!
    Nancy McCarty Taylor

    • Nancy,
      As you go through the anniversary of losing your dad I pray that memories will flood your hurting heart. I pray that God will comfort you as only you can. He did know you needed this. I love when he does that.
      Anne

  7. Thank you for this! It is exactly how I feel even 4 years after loosing my sister and niece in a tragic wildfire and my ex-husband went to prison all within 4 months time.
    The weight of deep grief feels like, at times, you cannot breathe. You don’t understand why the world doesn’t stop even when you do. Praying and knowing that people are praying for me is what gives me peace. There are still days I have doubt and anger, but I hold steadfast to my faith in God and the day I get called home to see my sweet sister and niece again.

    • Danielle,
      What an awful amount of grief to bear at one time. I’m praying for you. I lost my sister to domestic violence and we never retrieved her body. Then we went to trial and her husband was found not guilty. Yet God still sustained me in my darkest times and he reminded me that he was with her. I believe when my sister took her last breath that God carried her to heaven.

      • Anne,
        I’m so sorry you lost both your mother and your sister. Yet you have wonderful words of encouragement for those who hurt. God bless you!

      • BrokenHearted says:

        Seeing gow you are helping others heal through your experience is physical proof that god is helping.

  8. I lost my Grandfather Dec 29th 2014 and then my Father 5 months to the day, May 29th 2015. I have been lost in a sea of deep grief that seems never ending. I thank you so much for this article. It gave me perspective and hope in God’s plan.

    • Rebecca,
      I have been in that sea of grief. It is overwhelming as the waves knock us off balance again and again. I pray that you will feel God’s presence as your heart aches. If you feel like talking you can email me. I would love to hear about your dad and about your grandfather.

  9. My best friend lost her husband and 6 yr old son to cancer 39 days apart in 2013 and she still carries her deep grief blanket. I look forward to the day I will be there to see her fold it up and put it away. Lysa, God has given you the beautiful gift of writing. Thank you for blessing others with it.

    • Stacey,
      The best gift you can give your friend is patience. Grief takes as long as it takes and every person is different. I lost so many people in my life. My mom, my dad, my sister to domestic violence, and my two brothers. And God comforted me when nothing else could. And out of that came poetry. Poetry that I pray touches others who are hurting. For it’s from him. May God remind you of times he’s held you close so you can help your friend.

  10. I lost my baby daughter 7 years ago. She was born with a heart defect. At the time and still today I can be in the pits of despair and grief but God always lifts me out of it and puts things into perspective. He has given me a deep understanding of how to help other parents who have lost a child and I can say now that I am joyful in my loss. I know I will see my previous Iona again. Thank you for this post as a reminder.

  11. Kitty Knoll-Aldrich says:

    Thank you, lysa. My daughter has grief, as I do, too. Her brother was very close to her.
    My middle child is 13 months younger than his brother. He is grieving the worst.
    He still believes he should have been the one to die. His brother was killed by drug dealers who stole his truck for their use. My son fought them and lost.
    So this prayer helped me. My living son has been unreachable3. For moments, yed. But not long enough to make a life change
    God bless you in your ministry. I appreciate you.

    • Kitty,
      How deep your grief must be for your son. And as a mom and you see other family members hurt, it intensifies that grief. Praying that God will comfort all those who miss him. And God can comfort like no one else. I lost many family members and God has held me close when the waves of grief overwhelm me.

  12. This has helped me more than anything I’ve ever read about grief. Thank you so much. Losing my dad 3 months ago was the post heart wrenching experience of my life, through it I found a God and this amazing site. Everything I read here makes me stronger and my day better. Thank you and blessings to all.

  13. Kitty Knoll-Aldrich says:

    Thank you, lysa. My daughter has grief, as I do, too. Her brother was very close to her.
    My middle child is 13 months younger than his brother. He is grieving the worst.
    He still believes he should have been the one to die. His brother was killed by drug dealers who stole his truck for their use. My son fought them and lost.
    So this prayer helped me. My living son has been unreachable3. For moments, yes. But not long enough to make a life change
    God bless you in your ministry. I appreciate you.

  14. A friend posted this today. I needed this. I so desperately needed this. I lost my only Brother 7 years ago. My Mom passed away suddenly In Feb of 2015 then lost my Dad 4 months after her. I have been left to take care of everything by myself. I feel like an orphan now with all of my immediate family up in Heaven. It has been unimaginably difficult for me to deal with this grief. I look forward to the day where I feel “normal” again.

  15. Christie Parker says:

    Thank you. We lost our 9 year old son on August 31. It has been devastating. I have so many unanswered questions, but found what you said about perspective to be very powerful. We have three children at home who are feeling the loss of their brother deeply. We are all trying to lean on the Lord together. It is so raw and fresh, hard to imagine a future on earth without him. I know we will see him again though.

  16. I’m grieving the loss of 3 very much wanted pregnancies. I would be almost 8 months pregnant now and the desire to be a mother is stronger than ever. I have lost a lot of people in my life to death, and now, friendships seem more silent than ever when I could use some earthly comfort. Grief is a difficult thing. I’m constantly trying to fold up my blanket, not be angry and bitter and press on, but it is so difficult. My heart and prayers go to you who walk this road. May comfort be yours in abundance. Thank you for sharing this devotion.

    • Anon, I am praying for you. I too lost a baby due to miscarriage and the pain is hard, even when you never held that child in your arms. Our little guy would have been 8 years old this September and we remember the pain and the what-if’s every year. My husband and I went through the anger and bitterness as we were invited to 3 baby showers within 3 months of losing our little one. Just want to let you know that things do get better. My best advice is to turn to God as your confidant. I hit rock bottom and sat in my closet in a pile of dirty clothes crying out to God because there was no where else to turn. He listened and He answered. Talk to people that will listen. You will have to bring up the conversation because unless you’ve experienced it, people do not understand. My husband was a rock and stronghold for me during this time. I poured out my heart to him, we prayed together and he held me numerous nights when I cried myself to sleep. I walked up to one of my good friends from church one day and said “can we talk” and I poured out to her. It was more for my healing than anything and I had her prayers with me every day. Every year on the “anniversary” she needs me a text to tell me that she’s praying. I want to let you know that I’m praying for you, praying for healing, praying for God to take away the bitterness and anger and praying for a miracle in your life. I pray that God will reveal His plan to you and guide you along the way.

  17. Sheila Stewwart says:

    Thank you for such kind words! I lost my mother due to medical malpratice in 2011 and recently lost my father in May of this year. Along the way, I’ve lost friends, family, and myself as the grief seems overwhelming. Thanks again for a fresh perspective!

  18. Thank you so much!Tomorrow is my Son’s 1st year in heaven.. I lost him when he was a month old coz of pneumonia.. Until now i cant believe he’s gone.. Peace and Happiness is still missing.. I feel like im in a dark place it suffocate me i cant move..

    • Cheryl Borkenhagen says:

      Sheena,
      My heart aches for you. I pray for that peace and happiness to return. Tomorrow it will be 5 years since we said hello and goodbye to our baby girl Delaney Reagan. I encourage you to start some type of tradition that you do in honor of your precious son. Every year, we buy balloons, and my husband, daughter Allison and myself, write a message to Delaney, and release the balloons. (Allison was 5 years old when her sister passed away.) We buy her a birthday cake and sing to her, and we light her memorial candle. This has helped us tremendously. We still cry and are sad and miss her more than anything, but we know we will be reunited with her one day soon! This is one of the verses that I read quite often: Revelation 21:4 “He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”
      Be encouraged and know I am thinking about you and praying for you tomorrow. When we release our balloons, I am going to write a note for your son too!
      Cheryl

  19. My response is different. I lost a close relationship smack dab in the middle of losing my grandpa and one week ago, his brother (my uncle) for the pas 6 months, I’ve been walking thru healing and redemption inside of my own self. Letting people off the hook and letting God be my number one source of love and acceptance. I was trying to find my identity, acceptance and the love I needed in my relationships. I learned quickly, that just does not work. i believe that God blessed me with this amazing family (not my own) as part of his redeeming love for what I never got as a kid. But the way they loved me was so wonderful, I couldn’t let myself be worthy of it. I was so afraid of losing them, that I did. My deep need for love and affection and attention came spilling out onto them and I drove them away. It’s been 6 months now, and the relationship with them only lasted 6 months before that. So it’s been a year of ups and downs and fear and failure and now faith and redemption. We still don’t talk or see each other, but I believe with all my heart that God still has a plan for this relationship. I believe with all my heart that the purpose of this sacred relationship has not served its purpose by existing for only 6 months just to be dead and gone. So I’m believing that God is in the process of redeeming every moment that was lost, every opportunity for love and friendship that has been stolen and he is going to use my story of healing to bring healing to them. Loss is so hard, especially when you feel the sole responsibility for it. But He is greater and he is a resurrecting redeeming restoring kind of God. Thanks for your honesty, Lysa. Your story has saved me over and over and over.

    • Erica,
      Losing your relationship as you were trying to work through your grief must have been unbearable. I have lost good friendships as well. Where people who were there for you suddenly just subtract themselves from your life. I think some did because they could not handle my grief. I had grieved for my sister for a very long time. She was the victim of domestic violence and we never retrieved her body. And when we went to court her husband was found not guilty. I have come to believe that some relationships do not last and that the one I can truly count on is the one with the Lord. Sometimes there are people who are in our lives for a season. That was extremely difficult for me to accept. I wanted my friends to be like God, always there. I’m praying for you as you look to the Lord for all he has for you.

  20. It has been several years of grief for me. Lost my mom, my uncle, and 2 grandparents in a span of 3 years. Now I am loosing my marriage. Grief overwhelms me.

    • Sheila,
      So many losses in a short amount of time. I too, have gone through many losses. I’ll be praying for you as you go through this one with your marriage. Praying that God will strengthen you for the days ahead.

  21. Today morning when I woke up, I had a weird experience. My mind took me back to the Thursday morning, February 24th 2011, when I had a still birth. It was all so vivid and all of a sudden I couldn’t breathe. I cried for about five minutes before hitting the shower because I had to go to work. I had to talk myself into calming down, because I live alone and when this happens (believe me it happens quite often) I have to sing praises, pray, or focus on anything else but the pain that this particular memory brings me. Four years have gone by, but I still find myself wondering what life would have been like if I didn’t lose my son. This loss changed me. I was only 23. The grief has never left me. In a way, I believe this message was written just for me. I really needed to hear this, even though I was barely two paragraphs through when tears started rolling from my eyes. Thank you so much. You have no idea the kind of impact this has had on my day.

  22. Jessica Gomez says:

    Thank you for your post. I lost my baby about five weeks ago and it has been really hard. There are no words to describe the pain. I was wondering how to hold on to God’s promises and how to continue believing.

    • Jessica,
      It is so hard to have a traumatic loss and to lean on the one you think could have prevented it. When my sister was killed as a victim of domestic violence I struggled knowing God could have done something. I came to realize in our case that God has given us free will and some people will misuse that and suffer at the result. But for a baby grief is intensified. you’re not only grieving the time you had, but you’re also grieving all the things that you’ll never be able to experience. Father God, I bring Jessica before you right now. I pray that you will encircle her with your everlasting arms. I pray that you will hold her and comfort her and help her to trust you even though she has so many emotions whirling around inside of her. Lord, you know how much her empty arms hurt. Comfort her and be with her through this. And Lord remind her that feelings are not wrong and you can handle any anger we have. You gave us our emotions. Help this dear child of yours God. Help her to trust what is true regardless of what she feels. I pray this knowing you understand because you too, lost your child. I pray this in Jesus’ precious and holy name. If you feel like emailing me, I would love to correspond, Jessica. anne@annepeterson.com

  23. My husband and I are in deep grief. Our 10 yr old, sweet loving, wanna be Doctor, and Princess was killed instantly when someone pulled out in front of her Daddy’s car. It was on November 7th and it’s been almost a year.

    The closer her 1 year Heavenivasary comes my heart feels sadder and sadder. I miss my Princess but I firmly believe she’s dancing with Jesus.

    • Heather: Thank you for the new word” Heaveniversary” This new word makes “me” smile / grin” My comment is below and would like to use this new work when talking to our daughter about her finance, who died nine months ago (there was absolutely no indication he was even sick). BUT, “heaveniversary” is a good word . . ..

    • Heather,
      I’m glad you have that image of your sweet daughter. I am praying for you as that anniversary date comes. I pray that you will feel God’s comfort. It’s true that we don’t grieve as those who have no hope, but it’s also true that we still grieve. I’m also praying for your husband as I’m sure his heart is heavy. I have lost so many people in my life including my sister to domestic violence. God understands our pain. He can comfort us like no one else. Praying for you.

  24. rolake odutola says:

    God bless you for always listening to the Holy Spirits leading, I lost my mum in july after an illness with numerous complications, am still grieving and then my nephew died today, the devo today was just the right thing I needed to encourage me,God bless you

  25. Jennifer Farley says:

    This was spot on for me. It has been 5 months since my husband passed. We have 3 boys and we are all hurting. Someday, I will fold that blanket. For now, I continue to be the person at the drive thru. I live for my Lord and my boys right now. I know the strength of the Lord will carry us.

  26. This is an encouraging and truthful message and is so appreciated. I have a question and am open to hearing your thoughts, opinions, etc. Ten months ago, our daughter’s finance died; there was absolutely no indication that he was sick. Our daughter is moving on but she has her days (which is natural) where she is so down and lonesome and is struggling. She is busy working, doing things she has never done, and moving on and sometimes I think maybe she is not dealing with his death. My husband and I believe there is nothing worse than not being able to help your child. Other than being here to listen to her, do you have any thoughts on how we can help her encourage her? (Our first child was stillborn and my husband and do know that with time, it does get easier.)

    • Gerri,
      I also liked this post that Lysa wrote. My heart goes out to you as you watch your daughter grieve. When it is without any warning the grief is even harder. I have lost a lot of people in my life. My mom, my dad, my sister to domestic violence and two brothers. Everyone grieves differently. Some grieve by talking about it. They are intuitive grievers. And some process their grief by doing things. Their grieving process just looks differently. I agree with your husband and with you. It is so difficult watching your loved ones and not be able to do anything to help them. But even though you don’t feel like you’re helping, your patience with her is a huge thing. I pray she will deal with the grief, if this is the case because it can be compounded if she doesn’t. And sometimes we think if we just make ourselves busy enough…but it doesn’t work. Be there for when she is ready to talk. And love on her as I’m sure you already do.

      Lord, I pray for Gerri’s daughter. Father as she grieves not only her fiancé but also the life they were planning and as she grieves that her role has changed so drastically I pray that she will get to the place where she just hangs onto you, Lord. I pray you can help Gerri’s daughter get the pain out. And even the anger that will be there. Thank you that Gerri’s daughter has two loving parents who only want to help. We commit this family to you, in Jesus’ precious name. Amen

  27. Thanks so much. Just what I needed

  28. Leslie Haraldson says:

    I understand. Very accurate and wonderful (relatively speaking) to read and for you to share. My daughter’s name was Sarah, she would be 36 in earth years not sure in heavan years. ? thank you for sharing so much of yourself to help others see the wonderful love of God.

    • Leslie,
      How wonderful that one day you will get to embrace Sarah. I have a lot of people in heaven too. My mom, my dad, my sister who was a victim of domestic violence, and more recently two brothers. So glad that you shared. I’m praying for you as you still miss Sarah. Beautiful name. When I miscarried if it was a girl, she was also going to be Sarah. And she would have been 26.

  29. Thank you for posting this. I miscarried at 14 weeks 5 months ago with a very unexpected pregnancy at 45 years of age. My husband and I have already been blessed with 3 daughters but after getting over the shock of discovering we were expecting again we were looking forward to raising another daughter for the Lord. As my original due date gets closer I find that the grief can take hold but I know it is a process. I have learned so much over the last several months about how much God loves me and my family even in the midst of great grief. I’m a person who generally hides tears from most people, but God has been showing me that the tears are ok. They are healing. A wise friend told me early in the grieving process that God is grieving with me. He is right there beside me telling me he loves me. He isn’t telling me to hurry up and get over this. He walks with me and he understands the sorrow. He never leaves us and he always gives us hope. His word and times of prayer and praise with him are what keep me going when the grief gets too heavy. I know that his presence is all I need to keep serving him and my family. Even in times of grief God redeems all that was lost. His purpose is revealed in due time even when we can’t possibly understand especially in the midst of the pain. Embrace times of sorrow because God’s word promises that joy comes in the morning.

    • Sarah,
      I totally agree with what your friend has been telling you. God does grieve with us. It says he cares about what we care about so of course he does. I miscarried 26 years ago and even though I have two grown children I still think about her. I always felt it was a girl. I have suffered many losses in my life. Mom, dad, my sister to domestic violence, and two brothers. Grieving a child who never got to be here is a different type of grief. And it’s one that is not as easily accepted by some. And that’s okay. God understands. God has brought poetry out of my losses. He is the great redeemer, isn’t he? I also embrace times of sorrow. I believe it’s in pain that I see him the clearest. Thanks for sharing Sarah. If my child would have lived, she was going to be Sarah.

  30. Dolores Moore says:

    Lysa, Your daily devotions are amazing! Sent up a prayer of thankfulness for you today. Blessings.

  31. Today we bury my mother-in-law and celebrate her life on earth. She lived her life in service to Christ, her family and her friends unlike anyone I’ve ever met. The depth of her love for God has been the buoy for us this week, knowing she is rejoicing forevermore and dancing at the feet of her Savior….But this was a wonderful reminder that grief is necessary and will pass. Isaiah 53:4 – Surely he has borne our griefs….Thank you.

  32. Marcia Whaley says:

    I lost my Mom 24 days ago to cancer. she was diagnosed late and there was nothing medically doctor’s could do for her. She was 74. As a friend put it ‘she is in a beautiful zip code’. She sure is. My Hope left me yet I’m working on getting that back ever so slowly. You see, my Dad is terminal with cancer, on a feeding tube and he lives over 300 miles from me. Today is my first day back to work in a month. He’s ok for now but his time is coming too. When Lysa mentioned being on automatic, that is so true. As that will be the case until my Dads day comes, he is 77.

    • Marcia,
      I’m sorry for your loss and that your father is on a difficult journey. Hope leaving is natural and it will return. And you will once again resume your life with joy, but give yourself time. Let the emotions stirring inside you come out. Hope will return. It knows where you live. I have had a lot of losses in my life and through the pain God has brought poetry out. God does understand our grief. He lost his Son.

  33. 3 weeks ago today, my 19 year old daughter Emily didn’t show up for work. After a night of panic and searching, her body was discovered 5 hours away in a hotel with a boy she met in the psych hospital 5 years before. They were both dead. Suicide. I lost my brother in 2001 suddenly from a heart attack and my dearly beloved mom, 6 years ago. This grief is different, deeper, desperate. We are not supposed to bury our children. Our teenagers need our help! Teens and Parents need to be educated on the signs of depression and anxiety. Suicide Prevention is a must! It has to be talked about. How can this terrible illness not be covered under insurance because it’s not believed to be a valid illness? It’s an illness, a very serious one. One that every parent, aunt, uncle and grandparent need to be aware of. Teachers need to recognise the signs and help get these kids the support they need. Bullying HAS to STOP. Please pray for my daughter and our family. Through the Mercy of God and an Amazing Company, our Angels Funeral Arrangements and Burial were both taken care of. We are starting a Foundation in Emilys name. We will, through prayer, education and the Holy Spirit will make a difference. Thank you and you are all in my deepest prayers.

    • Debbir,
      Wasn’t sure if your name was right. I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am for your losses. I am glad that you are trying to bring awareness to suicide and how teens need us. My son attempted suicide but instead God gave him music and he ministers to those who are hurting. He does it with understanding. I’m so sorry for your loss of Emily. This will take time to work through as the way she died compounds things. I’m praying for anyone who hears your story and those you will eventually help because of it. But for now, let God comfort you. He can comfort you like no one else.

  34. Thank you for the reminder that grief is a normal part of this life on earth and we all need to decide now how we will get through it. I thank God that after some difficult seasons of losing loved ones, He has carried me through and made me stronger. In a way, the grieving process can be beautiful when it draws you closer to Him. It took me a long time to figure this out, but I am so glad He was faithful to teach me!

  35. God’s timing is not our job timing.

    How often have we heard that?

    I not only count the years,I count the months.

    We were married 40 years when my husband had a heart attack and died instantly.

    His birthday is Oftober 21st and his 40th heaven versary will be October 22nd.

    Just yesterday, I told my neighbor the same thing.i told her that in knowing those two days are coming, I’m going to be kind to myself everyday leading up to them and especially on them.

    Your devotion was step one after I decided I needed to purposely be kind to myself.

    Thank you for allowing God to use your own orde to reach me this first day after my decision.

  36. My big brother. My best friend died suddenly and unexpected 10.27. 13
    My daughter was born 2 days later. I often still feel like I’m in a deep grief. Does it ever end? I trust God. I still love God. Not angry. But hurt. Empty. Heart broken. A piece of me is missing.

    • Mourning,
      I’m so sorry for your loss. When we’re in grief it colors everything. I don’t believe the grief ever truly ends but the intensity does lessen. I lost my mom, my dad, my sister to domestic violence and two brothers. My sister’s death was hard because we never retrieved her body. Don’t feel guilty if you’re not feeling joy like you wanted to feel at your daughter’s birth. I am praying that God restores your joy and that you will feel his comfort. I miss my brothers terribly. Something will happen and I will want to share it and I can’t, and there’s the pain again. I’m praying for you right now. For because he was your best friend, you have compounded grief. And I’m sure you are saddened when your daughter does any little thing and you can’t share it. I have this belief that they are not missing anything and that gives me comfort. Praying for you now.

  37. This was perfect timing in my inbox this morning. I lost my grandfather on 9/2/15. He was 98 years old and was such a blessing in my life. I know the Lord wrapped his loving arms around him and welcomed him into Heaven, but I miss him everyday. My heart hurts like nothing I have ever experienced. Your words are comfort to me as well as God’s promises. I will share this with my Mom.

    • Michelle,
      I’m sorry for your loss. Sometimes when we lose someone who has lived a full life we feel guilty because at least we had them for a time. I bet you have some wonderful stories about your grandfather. I’m sure your heart does hurt because you can’t love someone fully and then not hurt when you no longer see them and hear their voice. Your loss is fresh, give yourself time. How much? As much as you need.

  38. Hello. I have been grieving a divorce for (dare I say it?) 7 years now. I have cried and cried for the death of a family (and fully biological siblings) for my child. My life has been on pause since. But lately I have felt like it is time to move on. Where? With whom? … no clue… I just want to be free from the sadness that catches me sometimes. I just wanted to share that…May God bless each of you with previous posts with peace and surround you with loved ones. They are so valuable.

  39. Beautifully shared. I’m sorry for your loss…no matter how long ago it happened. Peace be with you-

  40. Emily Myers says:

    My 37 year old sister took her own life last November 5th , I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior at 37 (3 years ago). I lovingly tried to point my sister to Jesus in her anguish and addiction but God had a different plan. While I trust God completely I still wrestle a bit with why he saved me giving me a whole new life (and a godly husband) but not her. Being the only Christian in a big family I pray God will now use me to comfort them.

  41. We lost our dear Dad 6 months ago. We grieve him every day but my sisters and I are so concerned for my elderly Mom who is brokenhearted and is not doing well at all. They were married for 65 years and they did everything together. She has failed physically…eats very little and cries much of the time. She says she doesn’t want to live anymore. We try to be there and to help, encourage and comfort but we fear for her mental, spiritual and physical health and well being. She is a Christian but she can’t seem to find comfort there now. It’s very discouraging for us and we feel so sad & concerned for Mom. Thank you for this article. Blessings.

  42. Stephanie Herman says:

    Thank you for this word today. It opened up to me grief that I knew was there and have dealt with, but I didn’t realize how it was still effecting me. I lost my only son to stillbirth almost six years ago. While God has healed me and comforted me, I love my family and we have adopted the most wonderful little girl, the grief is still there, buried deep. This devotional helped open me up to it and to see that God still has work to do in me that I need welcome. Thank you!

  43. Grieve
    Because the loss changes you.
    Cope
    To move on.
    Trust
    It still Comes down to
    Trust and obey
    There is no better way
    Be happy in Jesus
    Simple
    Not easy
    Simple
    Thank you for opening your heart and sharing the raw reality.

  44. I’ve buried both of my sons in the last year and a half and I would like to add that you be patient with a grieving persons brain. Grief can cause some memory issues and forgetfulness for awhile. Don’t take it personally if they suddenly cannot remember your name, etc.

  45. a friend shares this post with me last night and I just woke up to find it this morning. As I was reading I felt every word. It was as if I was writing it myself. Redefine is the hard part. I lost my husband very unexpected December 2,2014. He was truly my knight n shining armor. It’s been the hardest journey I’ve ever had to walk out. I actually went to the beach this past week to the very condo we had spent our vacation on for the past 4 years. In my mind it was the thing to do but in my heart it was gripping. I expected him to come walking out at any moment and even as I laid on the beach I found myself turning and fixing his chair so he could join me. He didn’t. It was a sucker punch. I began to ask myself “why did you come here Kathy”. I came home early cause I wasn’t even sleeping but God gave me some words to out on paper and I walked on the beach that last morning with BRAVE. Tears rolled down as I rolled out. Trying to find my new place. Pressing forward to learn
    how to release this brokenness and stand strong in the face of God. I know He has a journey that He is leading me on.

  46. I lost my only daughter Oct. 3, 2010. She and her best friend were helping someone move. I was at work. Her friend was driving and right in front of my workplace she decided to make a u-turn, the car was t-boned by a truck, both girls were killed instantly. It is 5 years later and the grief is still there, not as debilitating as it once was, but it’s more numbness now. Two years later I lost my Dad and still have hardly grieved his death. I remember all of those feelings you mentioned. And, had a younger son that still misses his sister and grandpa. My faith and God has been the glue that has held us together and kept us going.

  47. Tiffany Knowles says:

    I lost my dad and grandmother both suddenly within the last 3 years. The grief has been unbearable at times especially with my dad because I was such a daddy’s girl. I know life has to go on but it is so hard at times. I remember for the first year I was the girl at the drive thru. Thank u for this devotion. Just what I needed to hear.

  48. My 14 year old son was killed July 1 2013. I still ask God why. Everyday. This pain is like no other. I hate it when people say how they understand because their father, mother , grandmom died. NO! No they don’t know. That’s different! There is NO pain like this. I pray that God takes me soon. This pain is absolutely unbearable. And only a mom who lost a child can understand this.

    • Kimberly, praying that those deep aches that you have in your heart, that God will take His healing balm of Gilead and soothe them like only He knows how to do with His love. May His presence warm you from within and embrace you with His affectionate loving arms. I am so sorry for your loss. So very sorry.

    • Hi, Kimberly, I can truly say I KNOW how you feel. You see, I also lost my 37-year-old son on August 31, 2016. due to a tragic accident in his truck. I had just lost my husband on March 19, 2015, just a year and five months apart This pain is so deep and won’t go away. I just moan and groan and ask God to help me.

  49. Grief I know. The loss of my mom, my dad, my sister to domestic violence, one brother to cancer, another brother to a heart attack. And these are just some of the losses. But God brings good out of pain and loss. And out of those waves of deep grief came poetry. Poetry I knew was from Him. The one who held my hand through every loss. Every. Loss. And in the process I discovered even more about his comfort. I felt his abiding presence. For in pain I see him the clearest.

  50. Thank you Lisa for your healing words. My sister died in her sleep in February and I’m struggling to help my family, my parents, my own kids and somehow myself figure out how to walk these dark, lonely days. Thank you for hope!

  51. As I read through these comments today, my heart breaks for each of these women who have shared their hurts. What an opportunity this is for a prayer ministry. I have written many of these women’s names down to pray over this morning. May God help each one through their individual journeys of grief as only He can.

    • Andrea, how beautiful, thoughtful and wonderfully kind of you! I was reading thru the comments and just had to reply to yours. How sweet! Thank you & God Bless!

  52. Michael Buell says:

    I Lost ” The Love Of My Life” Lynn” to cancer on September 17, 2015 We dated back in 1980 when I was Freshman in High School and She was in 8th Grade. We reunited after 33 years later and fell in love instantly on October 28 2013 at the Buffalo( NY) Airport. We had both gone through emotional and physical abusive marriages. God Brought Us together for a reason and for the time We spent together where I live in Las Vegas, We shared a Lifetime of Happiness. Lynn went to God as I was holding Her Hand, She was looking into My Eyes and I said, ” It’s time to go Baby, I love You” and She was on Her way to a better place. I am Heartbroken but Very Happy She is no longer in pain. I will never get over this but I will always cherish the Beautiful time We had together. I was the last person Lynn saw on Earth, just as God granted My wish. Rest in Peace My Beautiful Golden Brown Baby.

  53. Thank you for sharing your heart and your story. I greatly appreciate you sharing what grief really is. I have read the above comments. It is so true how the memory, just isn’t there. People blame it on age. Could be, but not for what I went through. How important to teach our children and those that we connect with daily that God has the greater plans for our lives. It truly is one day at a time. How I had longed to see my husband coming through the front door at just the right time, after work. But it didn’t happen. Or find him in the bedroom convalescing because that is what he did for 7 mos. I am not sure if I have walked through the other side yet after 7 years. It aches me to see my 5 children walk through their grieving when it shows up. I think especially for my youngest (16) daughter who, how could she have comprehended at 8 years old that her father was dying of cancer? God alone can comfort us. He gives us wisdom to walk through what we thought would never be possible. Look for ways how God will use your aches that you have gone through to reach out and help another one who might be experiencing what you have walked through. It is a part of the healing process. Thank you Jesus.

  54. Thank you, Lysa~
    I’m so sorry to hear of the loss of your sister… Thank you for sharing a very real hurt in your own life. Your message today reinforced for me that the only way to be healed and restored after losing someone close to us is healing in Christ.
    Are you aware of GriefShare? I have been a GriefShare facilitator since 2011. We are beginning our Fall/Winter session at our church on October 3.
    After losing my husband of 32 years to pancreatic cancer, my lifeline was weekly GriefShare meetings. After such a devastating loss, this Christ centered program and the fellowship with others in Him truly saved my life. You can read about this life-restoring ministry at griefshare.org and possibly even refer a loved one. There is a “Find a Group” link on their home page. Church Initiative sponsors GriefShare groups in churches all across the country.
    Thank you for you ministry, Lysa. I look forward to reading Proverbs 31 every morning during my quiet time!
    Love in Christ,
    Kathy

  55. My precious husband died Sunday morning, November 24.2014 at 3:45 am in bed next to me. We’d had a perfectly wonderful day and went to be prepared for church in the morning. I woke up to what I thought was snoring however it was my sweet groom taking his last breath. I dialed 911 and they took him to the hospital. I called all the family and children and they got to say good bye while he was life support. But he didn’t get better, he didn’t come back home. Instead, he went to heaven.
    Each day as I gag on my grief, I just try to remember to breathe and that God loves me. I haven’t a clue what I’m doing I just get up and go to work. My grief is more than I can bare at times.

  56. This is what I needed to read this morning, me and my sisters grew up with a I’ll mother, she was there for us but suffering. I didn’t realize how selfish I was just wanting to keep her with me. She finally slipped away, a true blessing is we got to spend a lot more time with our father, got to know who he really was. We lost him last December so suddenly,I never got to hear him say goodbye, and i don’t know if he heard me say goodbye. I know he’s dancing in heaven with my mother. That is my comfort and peace.

  57. Thank you for posting this today, I have been severly struggling with the loss of my dad, this came today and was of great comfort! Blessings,Lydia

  58. Kelly Edwards says:

    This could not have come at a better time. I lost my dear father just this past Father’s Day. He was the world to me. I truly felt like I had lost my best friend. I have been struggling with constant grief and anger with God for allowing him to be taken from me, especially on Father’s Day. This story reminds me that I will, indeed, be reunited with my dad. There is hope for those who mourn.

  59. Joetta Colquette says:

    Thank you Lysa! You are a skilled in crafting words that express exactly what has been felt in my mind and heart!~ I am grieving, not only my Dad who was killed a year ago in a car accident, but my husband, who is alive, but has PTSD. I am grieving the man that he was and unless God does a miracle, which I pray for every day, he will never again be that man. I grieve the loss of the relationship that we once had, the relationship that our children used to have with him, the life that we once had. Deep grief also comes from the traumatic events that keep piling up in one’s life, yet and still, I desperately cling to the Promises of God. Again, you are one of God’s Instruments who minister to me daily.
    In Christ,
    Joetta

  60. Tammy Bowers says:

    Thank you so much, I needed to hear this today,I lost my youngest son, 16 years old to suicide Sept.11,2014, it’s been just a little over a year and I’m so hurt & lost and very lonely without him, there are so many emotions you go though and it’s like an earthquake some days are harder then others, shedding tears is a daily thing and sometimes I actually break down and cry because I feel bad that I’m here and he isn’t and I still sometimes go though the why didn’t I hear him, why didn’t he come wake me up if he was hurting that bad and it all devastates me still, but you are absolutely right, I want to hear my family & friends speak his name, I want them to remember him everyday like I do, I always post something on fb about him !! This has made a great start to my day, thank you so much !!

  61. jackie connell says:

    Thanks for this. I lost my parents 5 years apart. I had a really bad time letting God have my grief about my mom. But I did. It was the best thing I ever did. When my dad passed last year, I have to say that it broke my heart as I heard him cry out please help me make them leave me alone. That still hurts me to know where he is. I believe God will not let us know that our loved ones did not make it to heaven. Thanks for letting me share

  62. Reading this brought tears to my eyes… and a smile to my lips at the same time.
    Sounds crazy, but it is true…
    The pain of the death that happened nearly two years ago is now somewhat peacefully mingled with the many fond memories of our days spent together before “that” day.
    Grief IS a process…
    What I want to share is something that happened to me early one morning as I was in the midst of an emotional meltdown. The scripture about weeping enduring for the night came into my mind. That wasn’t unusual… but the outcome of it WAS.
    I “saw” the words of that scripture clearly in my mind’s eye… but the last word of it had been changed.
    “Weeping may endure for the night, but joy comes in the MOURNING” is what I saw.
    The word “morning” was now “mourning”…
    “joy comes in the mourning…”
    I instantly stopped crying and began to thank the Lord for the many wonderful years we had had together. I thanked Him for His promise to see my loved one again one day. My heart was filled with hope and with a knowing that He knew about the pain of loss and understood exactly where I was. The grief that had been so unbearable was never again so heavy. My heart received His comfort that morning and I knew that all would be alright.
    Yes. Joy DOES come in the mourning IF you keep your eyes upon Him and allow Him to lead you through it. He is there with you…

  63. Beautiful true words! Thank you for this today. After I lost my father, I was in a tailspin for many years and I was so angry at God. How could He do that to us and make my father suffer like he did? And trust me, the Lord took me to the ‘woodshed’ many, many times for my attitude! And one day I realized my brokenness was my own doing and I just decided to thank Him for the gift that was given to me in the form of a wonderful earthly father and then I asked for forgiveness for questioning Him, for being angry with Him and thinking I could control Him and the outcome. And the Lord is so good and His grace poured out on me and healed my brokenness. And everyday, He is good and He is faithful. I’ll see my dad again one day and he’ll be standing there waiting for me, right along side of Jesus. Doesn’t get much better than that!

  64. Liesl Moran says:

    I so needed to read this devotion. My oldest daughter died 9/9/15. She was 25. We are waiting on autopsy results to know what happened. We are still in shock and disbelief. The grief is overwhelming.

  65. Clay Parton says:

    I was there, too. My little sister died instantly at 38. But it was my mom who was the most affected. It took her years to be able to smile. Your writing is so powerful. It put me there — as only truly successful writers can do. You are a blessing. ?

  66. Jan Troemel says:

    Thank you so much. You put my feelings into beautiful words.

  67. For those who are grieving loss of any kind, or going through a difficult season of life, Stephen Ministry is a free ministry available in churches all around the country, and you don’t have to be a church member to be eligible. A Stephen Minister will walk with you through your journey of grief or hardship long after the initial flurry of support is gone. This ministry has been around since 1975. You can learn about it at http://www.stephenministries.org and to find a church in your area that has this ministry.

  68. It’s been 11 years since my cousin passed away and I still think of him all the time. It took me a long time to realize that it’s ok to smile and to laugh and to enjoy life. Not long after Andy passed away, I was talking to my uncle, Andy’s father, and he asked me how I was doing. I was so humbled that he would ask me such a question. I told him that I was angry and didn’t understand any of it. His response changed everything and I’ve never forgotten it. My uncle said, “Do you know anything about growing tomatoes? Well, when a tomato is ripe and is ready to be harvested, you don’t even have to pull it off the vine, you can almost just hold your hand under it and the tomato will just fall right into your hand. I think that’s how it was with Andy. He was ready and he just fell right into God’s hands.” Right then and there I realized that I had no right to be angry anymore; if Andy’s father could find solace, so could I. It was the most beautiful, poignant illustration and it came from the most powerful source. And THAT is how God works. He knew that I was struggling and hurting deeply, so He provided me with the most perfect, applicable teaching and healing. Thank you for such an insightful, personal devotional, Lysa.

  69. I needed this SO bad!! Tomorrow will be 9 years that my Mom passed away, this time of the year I struggle to even get out of bed let alone function. I miss her so much, she was all the family that I had left and even though I know that I’ll see her again the pain at times can be debilitating.. Thank you so much, this was like a hug from God today …

  70. You have helped me understand more about myself through your speaking and writing. And I am glad that God created you and gave you the ability to be transparent… Real… And Honest with your feelings. Never Quit. People need these eye opening and refreshing words from you and our Heavenly Father. I thank God for you.

  71. Jenna Hower says:

    This devotional speaks so much life into me. I lost my mother 13 years ago to breast cancer, I was 14 and she was only 45. I still grieve til this day but I recall the moments when I was in a deep grief and the amount sadness that took over me years to follow. Since my mother’s passing I have came a long way. I went from blaming God to loving Him more than ever. I have lost loved ones since then and I just thank the Lord for sparing my life even the enemy said my time was up. Thank you P31 for your daily devotions. I am a daily follower and I must say you all encourage me everyday. God bless you all.

  72. This was such a much needed Blessing for me on today. My mother passed away 3 years ago, and today is her birthday. It was with mixed emotions that I had when reading this but it was refreshing to see this as well. It is not easy living in this world without her. My family and I miss her terribly, but we rest assure that we know now she is completely healed and resting in the arms of Him and knowing that gives us comfort. I have lost so many loved ones from my oldest son, to my first husband, my father and mother. I thank God for Jesus and the comfort and love that he gives daily. I am grateful for this word today…God’s Blessings

  73. Tina Daniels says:

    Lysa and team,
    I came back to Texas from She Speaks and went to see my 82 year-old father. As I walked in the door he said, “glad you’re back, now take me to the hospital.” I knew he wasn’t feeling well when I left, but never dreamed to find him in the state I did…since then, he has been in/out of the hospital. I’ve lost count of all of the doctor’s visits…I remember 2 weeks ago we went 8 time in one week! It has been horrific for him the last few weeks, but we were told this was just an illness, not the end of his life…the doctors were wrong. His funeral was last Monday, and I am overcome with grief, sadness, and questions! I am exhausted, worn out, and spent! This message was exactly what I needed today…of course, Our Lord is so coordinated! (side note..on Thursday before my dad died, he said, “we never got to talk about that meeting you went to in the Carolinas…how was it”? I said, “It was more than I could have ever dreamed”..Daddy said, “well, we’ve been too busy for you to practice what you learned, promise me next week you will get-back-to-it. Today, I began writing again…it is not pretty…but I am following both of my F(f)ather’s orders. Thank you Lysa.

    • Tina,
      I really appreciated what you shared. I had written a book few years back and my brother Steve read it. He told me he liked it, and that he wasn’t just telling me that because I was his sister. Then a few days later he had a heart attack and died. And I was to do an interview about my book. I thought about canceling, and instead on the day we buried Steve I did the interview. The book was about God’s goodness, and I believed in what I had written. At Steve’s funeral people would meet me and say, “Oh you’re the one who wrote the book. Your brother told me about it.” But just round things out, yes he did tell me he liked the book. And then he told our other brother he was glad it wasn’t a long one! I still smile when I think about that. God enables us to do the difficult things. When all we have is God he gives us what we need.

  74. Deidre Watson says:

    I shared this with my friend on her FB page. She recently lost her firstborn this summer and my heart goes out to her. I know she was questioning God so I wanted her to know she can still rely on Him even when she does not understand. Thank you for sharing this and providing me with the opportunity to uplift my friend with words better than my own.

  75. Cheryl Borkenhagen says:

    Thank you Lysa,
    This devotion is so timely for my family and myself. 5 years ago on September 25, 2010, we said hello and goodbye to our daughter Delaney Reagan. It has been a journey of ups and downs, but I have to say there have been more “ups”. I am not a blogger or a person who likes to be in the spotlight. I am more of a behind the scenes kind of gal. I see all of the other mom’s out there with blogs or those who have written books, started foundations, etc, in memory of the children they lost and think how awesome that is and think, I don’t have anything to say that people would want to hear. I am sure that is a lie Satan tries to tell me, but it is hard not to believe that some days. But then I have been able to use my story to be a support to other bereaved moms. I have used my crafting talents to make memorial candles, I have been able to buy and share books that were inspirational and helpful for me with other moms and an awesome book specifically written for siblings who have lost a sister or brother, like our oldest daughter Allison was given. So even though I am not out there for all to see, in my own little way, God is using me and my story for His glory!
    This devotional gives me the fuel I need to fill up my tank to keep on moving!
    Humbly in His Service,
    Cheryl Borkenhagen

  76. 18 years/10 months…seems like grief should be processed by now…but there will always be a raw, empty place in my heart for my sweet little Adam (who was only 4 when he died so unexpectedly). Your article is spot on…it is so precious when someone speaks his name. So many around me now did not even know him but they know his story. GOD has held me.in my grief and blessed me in my memories…HE has comforted my aching heart and given me new pathways to trek towards clearer peace and joy. There is a part of me that will never be the same…but there is also a bigger part of me that GOD has guided to a greater landing that only HE can provide.

  77. I lost my 50 yr. old husband 13 yrs. ago unexpectedly; he was in another state on business; on a vent for 6 days w/ no improvement. He had been very adamant about quality of life so I had vent d/c……..death came quickly. Grew up together; went through 12 yrs. of school together; we were just short 1 mos. of our 29th wedding anniv. I will never stop longing for his love & physical presence but I have learned to go on…..channeling my grief by helping others in friendship,etc. and leaning on God for support.

  78. I am so glad my mother in-law sent this to me.

    I lost my mom unexpectedly Aug. 4th. She had just beaten cancer as well as recovered from a medical procedure gone wrong. She was a strong women and I couldn’t be more proud of her for her fight and courage. I knew she had 20+ more years left in her. I wanted her there to watch my little girl (1.5yrs old) grow up. It was wonderful watching my Mom’s eyes when she seen my little girl and likewise when my little girl seen my Mom.

    I have no parents left and I’m only 35 years old and that is tough to swallow. My father passed when I was 10 years old.

    This experienced as surfaced many other demons that I have placed back far away in my mind since my father passed.

    When these things happen, thoughts run through your head. Bad thoughts at that, but shouldn’t be running through your head. Why not? Life is good, but at a time like this, life feels lonely and empty. The rock that has been there for you through so many challenging situations is now gone, leaving you wondering. Thankfully my wife and little girls helps, but sometimes I feel guilty for smiling, laughing, or going out and doing something. The feeling of someone punching in your gut repeatedly comes back time and time again.

    These comforting posts help me though. I’m not alone all of the sudden like I thought I was.

    Thank you.

    • Matthew. I came across this forum after typing looking up information about grieving. Compounded grief I guess. This article was spot on and then I saw your post. I pray you’re doing ok but I understand where you’re coming from. On October 23 and 25 2012 my dad and mom were diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer. My dad died January 2013 a night before his birthday. My best friend died from an overdose two months later. My mom passed away may 2014 two days before mother’s day and 2 weeks from my 30th birthday. Years later I’m having such a hard time. The grief is so deep. My heart goes out to everyone. I’d like to connect with people. This journey has been.. So daunting. My email is kelly.mitchell02@yahoo.com

  79. Jackie zamora says:

    Thank you for sharing, I lost my oldest son suddenly 6 weeks ago in a horrible accident. I felt exactly how you expressed your self in the beginning. My heart aches everyday….the sorrow,guilt, is just overwhelming. I miss my son very much, although I want to hold on to the promises of God…I can’t see right now..I can’t help but ask why?

  80. All true. When our granddaughters died, our whole family changed forever. Even 7 years later, we are no longer the same. We grieve. The difference for Christians is that we don’t grieve without hope. However, at the beginning at least, the feelings are the same.

  81. My husband of 10 years tragically past away 6 months ago. I am 31 and we have 2 children ages 9 and 6.
    I love this I still have deep grief. But I know God has never left us and we will see him again.
    Thanks for writing this

  82. I lost my husband at age 44 with a very brief time of illness. The grief was deep but God was deeper. He met me and showed me His loving presence over and over again. I felt so loved and watched over by Him during that time.
    One example was that there was something that we said or sang at church and the youth group at church made a poster of this and brought it to the hospital hospice room “God is good, all the time, God is good” and they all signed it, this was in my thoughts and my sight all the time in that hospice room. That deep grief would hit me especially hard when I was in the car driving, alone, away from everyones eyes, and a few weeks after my husband died I was driving and I saw a truck with the words “God is Good” on the side of it! I have never seen that truck before and never again, but I knew it was a message from God and I knew He was sending me that message and I felt His presence was with me. I knew alot of people were praying for me and I felt that too. It was a remarkable time, deep sadness and loneliness and tears but such a time of knowing God so much deeper. I pray that everyone going this deep grief now will know God’s presence in the same way I did.

  83. Leilani Mapupuno says:

    WOW, Lysa, thank you so much for this devotion today. This is perfect for me since I have lost TWO of my precious, closest, adorable, loving Uncles/Godfather two weeks ago in my country Philippines where they will buried. They both died of Cancer of Colon and Diabetes complications. They were both in their late 70s. I wanted them to live until 90s but I guess when God tells them it’s time to go, its time. Praise God they were both COMMITTED DEVOUT CHRISTIANS!!! Deep inside I am grieving but not showing it physically because I prayed to God to keep me strong. After reading your devotion, it also made me stronger from inside and out and gave me new perspective in losing your loved ones. I thank you and praise you for writing this to heal my grieving to my Uncles. I know I will see them again in Heaven.

  84. Socorro Garza says:

    I am reading this just hours away from leaving to go to my brother’s wake. Thank you God for your perfect timing and your promises. Thank you Lisa for being obedient and posting it.

  85. Such a profound description of grief! All the deep, painful, searing pain that hits like a tsunami that seems impossible to overcome, BUT GOD in His infinite wisdom provides EVERYTHING we need for LIFE and going forward and carrying on with His intended purpose for us.
    I help facilitate a Griefshare group, not because I am a trained counselor, but the suicide of a dearly loved family member, the overwhelming grief and the healing process equipped me to sincerely meet them at their deepest need. We are approaching that time of year again when all the memories can come flooding back, but our Blessed Redeemer who is our All in All reminds me that our dear girl who loved Him with every fiber of her being, is healed and in His presence.
    God Bless you for your ministry!

  86. Kimberly nelms says:

    Thank you for sharing. I lost my Grandmother July 5,15 just a couple months ago. It was so hard and still is. She was my mother, best friend the matriarch of the family. Alot of what u have said is how I have felt but deep down I love my savior its just hard. Please just pray for me. I no I will never understand why this has to happen but hoping I will be at peace with this at some point. Life is just not the same. I needed to hear the way I feel is OK:) Thank again

  87. Teresa Sangduan says:

    THANK YOU so much for this devotional. My mom passed away 3 years ago…however reading this just completely brought back memories of that time and the words you typed/wrote definitely spoke renewed hope into my heart.

  88. Thank you! It’s been almost eight years since my husband suddenly passed away and I still have moments of deep grief. The first three years were awful but then I slowly started feeling ‘normal’. Yes, it’s a new normal but that’s what had to be because my life will never be the same. About a year ago I realized I love my new life! It’s completely different than it would be if he were still alive – and that’s not a good thing or a bad thing – it’s reality.
    Thank you for sharing your story so that I could share mine. I’m so thankful for God’s grace and all the people that prayed for me during those first hard years.

  89. Thank you for this beautiful writing. It is all so true. I lost my husband 6 months ago. We had been married almost 55 years. Suddenly last week I felt an unbelievable peace and knew I could go on. Of course, there are still moments–seeing his handwriting, hearing a favorite song, doing laundry without men’s clothes, etc., but it does get easier, even though at the beginning you think it never will.

  90. Sometimes grief is over a lost relationship too. In my case it is several relationships that are being affected by one persons lies. It hurts. Have been praying first for the person who is instigating to come to TRULY KNOW CHRIST, then hopefully He will drastically change their heart. But until that day, which may not ever come, I have to keep praying for everyone involved and keep perspective as Lysa said. But it is very difficult.

  91. Kimberly Strong says:

    Thank you for sharing & putting into words what it’s like. It’s been over 8 years since my dad died & reading this caused the years to flow as if it was yesterday, but it does get better & life can move on. God is good!

  92. Thank you for this. My grief is unique. It is definitely deep. I struggle with the grief that keeps on giving. A catastrophic brain injury stole my son five years ago, but my son lives on. He walks, but he can’t walk. He talks, but he can’t talk. And he certainly cannot remember anything about his days that he spends living. So its like he’s not living at all. I miss him so badly. I still have all the same hopes and dreams for his future because he lives. And yet I struggle with a grief so deep that at times it consumes all of me. I’ve given up absolutely everything to be by his side: my job, my friends, my retirement, my passion for teaching little kids to read. It’s all gone. But my son lives, and for him I will live too.

  93. Toni hallenbeck says:

    We lost our son, michael at 21 when a tree fell on him while he was fighting a wildfire. He was so excited that day. He was a full of life young man who loved the outdoors, hiking and snowboarding. He found jesus a few years ago and I know his passing will bring me closer too. But right now I’m still angry at god for taking him away 7 weeks ago. Help us cope with this part of our nasty journey.

  94. I lost our little guy due to a miscarriage in 2007. He would have been 8-years old this month. There are moments of sadness and reminders that bring tears to my eyes even today. The day we were going to the doctor for a routine checkup, my husband and I got out of the car after listening to Chris Tomlin’s song “How Great is Our God” smiling and thinking how blessed we were. An hour and a half later, we return to the car speechless after the ultrasound technician told us that she could not find a heartbeat. With tears streaming down our cheeks, we were both silent on the drive home. As we pulled into the driveway, my husband took my hand and said “He’s still just as great of a God now as He was before. We just have to trust Him.” I didn’t want to trust because God took this precious life from me and I was angry. After a few days, I sat in my closet in a pile of dirty clothes and hit rock bottom, crying out to God. I had nowhere else to turn and knew He was the only one that could help. From that point on, God gave me peace and understanding that though it didn’t make sense to me, He was in control and had never led me astray before. I just had to trust. After 8 years, I still have a few bad days but I think of all of the blessings that God has provided and thank Him for His never ending love. I may never understand why but it is possible to pull the blankets back. Reach out for His hand and let Him carry you through those hard days. No other one can do that for you.

  95. I lost my 22 year old sonJoshua 3 years ago on memeorial day weekend in a car wreck, I have had many emotions toward God since then, I cannot understand why he chose our family to have to go through this, we had already had our share of loss,my father died of cancer at age 40 on Memorial Day weekend in 1989 , 3 weeks before I graduated from high school and then we lost my husbands brother at age 21 in a car wreck he was killed by a drunk driver, I beginning to question is there a God and if so why put so much grief on one family? We have been in church all our life…. Please help me restore my faith , I wish I could have taken my sons place , my son was becoming a wonderful man with so much potential … I just can’t understand…

  96. Well, this is very emotional. Wow, Lysa. I’m speechless. I ask the Lord to help me move forward with my life. The past is the past. My brokenness is the past and my struggles with trying to save my marriage is gone. Realizing that he don’t love me anymore. It’s sad that it took me over a year to get here after my divorce in August 2014. So many questions of why. To add this, I had people who betrayed me and hurt really bad. But I thank God today that he’s still with me and he still loves me. Thank you ladies for all your prayers at Proverbs 31 and you are my new family.

  97. I have been grieving the loss of my parents for several years…12 years for my dad and almost 11 years for my mom. I am almost 35 and I do not have a family of my own…I think my biggest struggle is feeling left behind and alone. My mom truly was my best friend. I loved this I have been very upset with God…but I need look to him for comfort and the light to my darkness. Thank you for sharing this.

  98. No one understands that everyone”s grief journey is different. They seem to think that at a certain date you put it away and move on. It is hard to carry your grief in silence when all others have moved on

  99. Thank you so much for being obedient in writing this and sharing it. It was the hug from God that I needed today. Tomorrow is my sisters memorial service. This post meant more than you will ever know. God bless you.

  100. Lisa, your article today was so needed! I lost my dad suddenly 11 days ago and I’m struggling each day with my grief. That final vision as he slipped away from us and the fog of the days to follow. The struggle to do things for my mom, who he cared for each day. And I find it so difficult to return to my daily quiet time with God. I know it takes time to heal. Praying your blog today is the beginning of finding my way back. Thank you.
    Tammy

  101. I lost my mom on May 11, 2013 and my best friend died only 6 weeks before the day I turned 40. 2013 was a year that I’ll never forget. Time hasn’t really healed my heart but GOD in his grace has. It has changed me. And even though I’d never want this pain on anyone for you grieve what never could be or ever was but its apart of this process of grief. I am so thankful that I’ll see my mom and my friend again….May the LORD bless you.

  102. Michelle Walter says:

    Lysa…..your gift of writing is a gift to us. I have journeyed with you for so very long now through every single one of your bible studies, many of your books, and have had the blessing of seeing and hearing you at 4 conferences. I know you write from such a vulnerable place in your heart and that’s probably why you are so easy to relate to. This piece on grief is so beautifully written that even as I am writing this tears spill down my face. I am so grateful that you found your place in His kingdom as so many of us are now reaping the rewards. Thank you for saying YES to His call for your life…….so many miss that opportunity.

    In His Great Love,
    Michelle

  103. Katie johnson says:

    Thank you so much for sharing this. I lost my mother unexpectedly the first week of June. It is a grief unlike any other. Mom was so much like I am and was always the person I could talk to and trust. I talked to her several times a day and saw her several times throughout the week as well. She was very close to my children and always planned special activities for them– quality time. In many ways she was the glue of my family her whole life. She called my sister the night she passed away and said she felt like she had heartburn. My sister arrived at her house 15 minutes later and found her in her bed, already passed away. She was 62 years old. I am still dealing with many question about how could this happen when she was in good health. I know those are all answers God has, not answers for me but its still hard to accept that she is gone, out of nowhere.

  104. This article popped up on my FB feed today. Little did I know it was written by someone who had suffered the loss of a sibling as I did years ago. Though time has passed, sometimes the hurt still feels so fresh. Not only did my little brother die, but the parents I knew died that day with him. They were (are) physically there but his death took them with him in ways. Your words meant so much. Even 28 years later to this woman who still hurts at times like the 12 year-old-girl who had to tell him goodbye. Thank you for this. Thank you.

  105. Tricia Jones says:

    My mom passed 4 months ago yesterday (may 23rd). This is amazing timing. Thank you.

  106. Things that could only have come about when Divine Hope intersects with a broken world. Amen Lysa. Hugs from a mom’s – and a sister’s – heart that have walked this path. Bless you. Susan

  107. Two years ago I lost my best friend who was like a sister to me. We had been friends for 16 years. She was supposed to be my maid of honor at my wedding. I was sure to include her favorite flowers in my bouquet. I still grieve the loss as it continues to be so very deep. She was the one I shared everything with. I pray the Lord brings me to someone who also needs a close friend. I continue to contact him periodically with no replies.

    Also, I have two young adult sons who are so far away from God and me. One has completely disowned me, is now using marijuana very heavily, with the result being grand mal seizures. He is so very angry with me about the separation of their father and I in 1999. My other son is very elusive about his feelings and pretends things are okay. I have limited contact with him.

    Although my sons are a different type of loss, I struggle daily with these deep losses. I know God is there; however sometimes I feel so very far away.

    Thank you for the reminder of this passage. It was just what I needed to read today.

  108. Sandra Kocab says:

    My son was a Tampa Police Officer that was murdered al2010. Unfortunately, my son died at the scene and so we didn’t have a chance to say goodbye. My daughter thought of her brother as a father figure because he took her to the Father/Daughter Dance and she was looking forward to having him walk her down the aisle for her wedding. Both my parents had died 15 years earlier but I never knew the pain of grief until my son was taken. My first reaction was to blame God but I had to yell at someone and thank goodness He has big shoulders and knows our grief. After 5 years sometimes we feel like we take 2 steps foward and 10 backwards, but God in His divine mercy is right beside us gently leading us. I devoted my life to teaching until my son died and I have never stepped back inside the classroom. Thank you for this devotion!

  109. Dear Lysa,
    I’m right now dealing with a deep grief, my dad is dying. He’s 84 years olf and he’s at the last stage of a lung, bones and liver cancer.
    He’s been my hero my whole life, I can’t even believe this is happening.
    Thanks for your words.

    Araceli
    Buenos Aires
    Argentina

  110. Yes, that deep grief after losing and burying your child. Some times we simply must claw our way back to life kicking and screaming. Only to find God was there all the time, holding out His hand to pull us up. He loves us enough to lose His own son. He knows exactly how we feel. Thank you God for loving us far more than we deserve .

  111. Brenda Manning says:

    Thank you Lysa for this encouragement today. It’s been 7yrs since I lost my family: my dad, mom and brother. They are still living, but being adopted and being taken out of my first family for my protection and finally finding the mother I longed for and a real family and then losing them again has brought deep grief to my life. Nothing has been the same since. It is almost as if I did lose them to death. Your story has encouraged me to let go of the rope of holding on, so that God can do His healing work in my life, so that I can be joyful once again and not feel like I just got off the plane and there’s no one there holding a cardboard sign with my name, claiming me and waiting for me, so that I can go home to belong to someone. I have started to mourn their loss and feel my raw emotions, some days it seems that is all I do and feel guilty for not being fully there for my husband and our 3 boys. And I also have tried to keep busy, so I don’t have to feel the emotions. I just want to be able to be at a place where I will smile when I hear their name or celebrate events in my life and family’s lives without wishing they were there, just joyfully be in that moment and be thankful and praise God that He will never leave me nor forsake me and that His love is truly enough for me. I have a long way to go until I am fully redeemed from this, please pray for me. Thank you for your ministry. I love you.

  112. Simply beautiful…….

  113. Thank you for this devotional today. My family buried my mom after a lonv bout sith cancer. My emotions have been all over the place. Thank you for the reminder that it is okay to mourn and that God will soon replace it with joy.

  114. My husband and I buried our precious, healthy, four month old baby girl 10 weeks ago. The pain is suffocating and some days unbearable. Thank you for sharing this and for all the others who have shared their heart breaking stories.

  115. I lost my precious mom four years ago. I’m an only child, and she and I were very close. She was my best friend and my three kids adored her. She was so good at spending quality time with each of them. They knew she loved them. I still feel the void of her presence every day. Like this weekend when my son scored a goal at his soccer game and she wasn’t on the sideline to see it. Or when my daughter won “student of the week” at school and she wasn’t there to celebrate with her. My dad chose to remarry very quickly (within a year of her passing), and now he is busy with his new family. It feels like I lost them both. Sometimes the pain of that presses down on me so much I feel I can’t breathe. But, I cry out to Jesus, who hears every cry, knows every tear, and always comforts. His yoke is easy and his burden is light. Praise God we grieve not as the world grieves– we grieve with HOPE. My mom lived her life as a testament to the One who saved her, redeemed her and called her His own. I’m going to wrap my arms around her again one day.

  116. I have been in deep grief since my daughter, Connie was killed by a drunk, meth head. She was a freshman at the University of Kentucky and walking home. I describe for people a profound sadness like I am drowning in sadness. Since the loss of Connie my son, Thor who was so close to her only 3 1/2 years older got married and lost a 4 month old baby boy to SIDS. Also his best friend committed suicide. Going through the grief of losing a child and then having to see your son fall apart and then literally be carried from the gravesite of his infant son is too much. I truly wish I were dead because life is so sad. They just welcomed a new little son into the world and as much as I am happy for them I am still so sad at all the loss. Connie left us 2 horses and 1 dog and we had to say good-by to one of the horses and my dog and my husband’s dog. I don’t blame God because He chased me down in 2000, 8 years before He knew I was going to need Him so much. I got saved and my kids too. We had always gone to church, but none of us knew we were sinners in need of a Savior. I hate being sad all the time, but I can’t do anti-depressands because they make me so irritable. I go to church and BSF and study the Bible. I praise God even when my body has nothing to be happy about. I never miss church, because I need a Savior so I can see Connie and Callaway again. This is my hope.

  117. thankyou Lysa for your realness. Deep grief hit our family 2yrs ago on 30/8/13, when my nephew hung himself. Never expected that one, or in our wildest dreams see that one coming. My family aren’t Christians and don’t know that strength of our God that carries you even when you are numb to the world?. Psalm 46 is just gold: Be still and know that I am your God. Jen ?

  118. Not all grief is a result of death. It can come from the loss of a job, a shattered dream or a severed friendship.
    When I was grieving those losses I ended up losing another close friend becsuse she didn’t understand my grief and thought I should get over it more quickly…she added guilt to my grief…because she said “you are a Christian…it’s a sin to feel that way”…..It was a good thing in retrospect that she left my life… she even called me toxic in my depression! …I did find other Christians who were more mature and I can say now I am finished grieving the multiple losses that occurred in a short period of time. Please take time to educate those who don’t realize they are part of the problem instead of the solution

  119. Thanks for expressing! I lost my father December 26,2012. He was my dual parent for more than 28 years.I lost my mom at the age of 10.We shared a lifetime and many precious moments.I went through a grief noone could fathom.I’m so grateful for my spouse who allowed me this time to grief. I folded my blanket this spring. I let go and allowed God’s restoration. I’m living life in a better place and state of mind and I give God all the glory! Thanks again Lysa for sharing!

  120. I lost my youngest daughter, her age was 36. There are no words to adequately express the deep pain I feel and you wrote about. Tears and time and prayer helps. Thank you for an insightful article.

  121. Susan Haner says:

    A friend shared this with me on my Facebook. It is so right on. First I would like to thank you for sharing your testimony and for being an inspiration. My daughter lost her father June 2014. She had just turned 19 . He was 46 and it was an unexpected death. Two months later after we moved here to Nashville to attend college, her step-father…my sweet husband of one year died at the age of 47 of a widow maker heart attack. He had no obvious symptoms. He died in my arms. Between us we had four children that we called our children. He had one son that died at the age of 5 in a car accident and would be 24 now. So, I do find peace in knowing that my Gerry is no longer suffering from the many years of grief over the loss of his son, and they are together. Our children were 27, 22, 19, and 16 at the time of his death. We also have a daughter in law. 8 months after losing her father in law from a heart attack…her own father died of a heart attack. We made it through the firsts and the death date anniversaries. God has been merciful and gracious. We are blessed with beautiful support from loving family and friends. Some of us have gone to counseling. I was doing so much better going into the anniversary of his death and now with seasons changing I find myself in an awful place. I am overwhelmed with anxiety and worry about our children. Especially my daughter. She and my husband were very close….best friends and she lost two fathers in two months. We also lost a cousin in between their deaths. I have had some beautiful God sent moments with grief…even in the darkest storms of it were the pain was to the bone. I know he will continue this journey with me, but I am so tired of this roller coaster ride. I keep telling myself that I made it one year and I can make it two. Thank you for encouraging me. I just feel helpless, hopeless, and so lonely right now. I know it will get better. This streak just feels longer than others. Prayers for you always and again…thanks for sharing your journey.

  122. Mandy Grant says:

    I read this and I really needed this. I lost my Husband Tyler July 4, 2015 of a heroin overdose and have been in a state of depression wanting answers! After reading this i was able to worship God and give praise for all that i do have and realized that it had to happen for some reason and its not for me to know. I know i will have bad days but Thank you for giving words of encouragement

  123. Shawn Arena says:

    Lysa,
    First of all I feel very humbled to have read not only your testimony on your loss but the outpouring of all the previous posts. My wife and I have been blessed for everyday we are grateful that our parents and children are with us. However our oldest son, Matthew is special needs and we are fully aware that with any of his complications God can bring him Home at a moments notice (like any of us). Additionally my father is unfortunately fully in the grips of Alzheimer’s (he will be 87 next month)- both issues which don’t even pale to the hurting that your message and the comments portray. ANYWAY my point is hopefully a source of Heavenly assistance. I just finished a FABULOUS and truly inspirational book “Through the Eyes of a Lion” written by Pastor Lusko in Montana. His 5 year old daughter went home to Heaven in 2012 and he shares his grief and the spiritual guidance that ANYONE can take in. The book- while themed on his daughter’s passing, is filled with everyday hope and strength for the reader. I just thought I’d pass the information on to you and anyone who reads your Blog. (BTW it is one of the most inspirational Blogs I have ever read, helps me through the day-everyday). God Bless you and all your readers

  124. I have been running from grief for a long time. I lost my step-dad (my dad) to cancer in March of 2013, and 7 months later my best-friend died suddenly from Kidney Failure. I have masked it my grief/pain, I put it in a box and left it on a shelf, I’ve kept myself so busy that I had no time to think about the pain I was feeling inside. I have run myself to the ground over the last 2 years trying to keep myself as busy as I could in order to deal with (or not deal with) the pain I felt/feel inside. This was until this week-when my mind and body had enough, and I called out for help. I am now on a journey of healing, a journey of finding God again, and learning to not just love Him-but let Him love me. I am on a journey to learn how to Trust God with everything, even the answers to the questions of why that He hasn’t answered. Today, I am finally willing to stop telling God that “We have Issues” and instead sit down and let him pour His Love over me and heal my broken heart the way that only He can heal it.
    Thank you for this Devotional, God is always right on time.

  125. Thank you for posting this. I needed to hear it and save this so I can read it over and over. My mentor and close friend was murdered in a domestic violence case- and even though its been a year and a half- i’m grieving more now than ever. I was her nanny for her 5 children- and I was so blessed to learn so much from her as she became such a mentor in my life- and thankful I still have relationships with her kids. Still praying for justice on earth has the trial keeps getting pushed back farther and farther as he walks free. I know God’s justice will prevail eternally. But that deep grief is real. Thank you for writing about it and being real.

  126. Perfectly done.

  127. Lisa Gibson says:

    This is an amazing post. I lost my true love, best friend, travel companion, and just a wonderful husband of nearly 40 years just 5 months ago. He went in for by-pass surgery and it did not turn out the way we thought. Today is his birthday and I’m so, so lost…not able to give him a hug, kiss, or birthday card. I never knew this depth of grief existed. I physically ache with sadness. My prayers are constantly for our two sons, ages 31 and 33. My sweet husband was my strength, safety, joy, peace and calm. All of that is gone. I have deep faith, as Joe did, but I struggle daily, sometimes hourly and minute by minute. We have a wonderful Bible study group of people that have rallied around us and I thank God, yet, I still want Joe back; my life back, we had many plans for the future. So hopeful this grief does, indeed, decrease. Good to read that someday this deep sorrow may become easier to carry. I pray God will reveal what He has for me to do now that Joe is with Him. I pray our sons will be faithful…I pray for all that have walked and will walk in these heavy burden-laden shoes. Thank you.

  128. Words of encouragement for my broken heart after losing one of my best friends in a car accident almost 4 weeks ago. My heart has been and still continues to hurt like no other hurt I have ever felt before. 19 years old, and he had been my friend since preschool… one of my best friends. Thank you so much for taking the time to write this!

  129. I am I total devastation my son passed away almost 2 months ago I am still hoping I wake up from a nightmare and none of it is true.i am so angry I never got to say goodbye I have so many questions why nothing makes sense and why my son why not someone else .But reality is he’s gone and how do I know he’s ok is he rally in heaven?I know what I was taught as a child and growing up but how do I know for sure .I really didn’t think there was such a thing as a brokenheart but there is and everyone says it takes time time will heal things will get easier but my heart is broken and I know that it will never heal I will have to lead a broken life I guess until I meet my son at that heavenly gate where I will be whole again right now anything thing else is unrealistically can’t imagine life without him.I feel sick and lonely why god why?

  130. I lost my wife of 35 years unexpectedly 3 months ago. The comfort I have is in HIM and I KNOW HE wanted to bring Sherri home for her sake. But for my sake and our two children, 22, and 18, it really hurts. I wrote about her on my blog: http://www.bruceberg.com/2015/07/sherri-marie-evans-berg-beloved-wife-mother-friend/

  131. Celena Horina says:

    This really hit home for me. Twice this summer my husband and I suffered miscarriage. The first one was super early, but never experiencing it, it shook us pretty bad. Then waited a short time and tried again, everything seemed in the clear as I was almost 9wks along when out if nowhere I started to bleed. This time we actually saw the lil’ one still in its sac with the most beautiful eyes, perfect hands, everything. With the second, it shook us even more deeply. Wondering and questioning what could have caused it, coming up empty. I know I will most definitely see our babies again in heaven and I cannot wait. I know their big brother, Samuel (just under 1yr), will be anxious to see them too. God has us in his hands as right now we grasp for understanding and comfort.

    • My husband and I have also just had our second miscarriage this summer. I had a d&c yesterday and I am so stricken with grief. This was after our second failed attempt at IVF. We’ve been trying so desperately to have children and I really believed this one was our miracle. It has been so hard to let go. But I KNOW the Lord’s hand is here. And I know I must surrender to His will. I am constantly praying for healing, hope, wisdom and the revelation of His plans.

  132. It has been 2 years since my dad passed on and some days I am fine and stand firm in my faith and the very next moment I can be totally consumed in deep grief like it just happened.

  133. A mom of three says:

    Lisa,

    Thank you for your words, they touch my heart deeply and bring out the grief and regret of the decision of aborting one of my babies 10 years ago. Oh how I wish I could have been braver for him or her and fought against everything. Every day, with my two boys in my life, I feel an emptyness I cannot describe, as if he or she should be with us. I’m so sorry and feel unforgivable, that I don’t deserve these two precious babies the Lord has entrusted me. The pain and emptiness are some days unbearable, more now that my cousin recently lost her baby a couple days after being born. I give the Lord my grief, and ask him everyday to forgive me, and that one day, when my boys find out, that they will forgive me for have taken away their brother or sister.

    • Lisa,
      If you have asked God, then YES, you are forgiven. I, too made the same choice and lived with the grief, guilt and shame for many years. But God “took away the guilt of my sin” when I found a loving support group for women like us who chose abortion. Please seek out such a group; the healing you will find will be amazing. f you can’t find a group in your area, there are many resources available; the one I found most helpful was called “Forgiven and Set Free”. I pray that you will find peace.

  134. You’ve described so perfectly what grief can feel like. It’s such a mix when the world moves on and people are posting about having to wait in line to renew a drivers licence while your life is shattered by grief. But God does bring much fruit out of the suffering if we’ll let Him. Walking through it with my 7 kids and grateful that God has faithfully taken care of us.

  135. Alicia Rushing says:

    I lost my mom just over 2 months ago. We lived in the same room at a nursing home. She was my best friend. I have been in and out of hospital all my life and she was always there for me. During her later years she was in and out of hospitals too. I never moved out of our house. I lived in the same house from the time I was about 4 till I was 50. I know my mom is in heaven now but I miss her so much. Every time someone mentions get i very.she as cremated so I don’t even have a place to go put flowers or anything. She was the greatest mom ever!!! She will always be loved and a missed!!!

  136. Katie Deboer says:

    My mother sent this to me this morning. …not quite 2 months ago i lost my fiancee, the love of my life and who i believe was my true soulmate….ive never been a religious person, but do believe in God, but am struggling so hard with this sudden loss…he was only 35 years old and his heart just gave out, and i was there when it happened and did CPR til the ambulance came, but he was already gone…he essentially died in my arms….and now my grief is so great that im having a hard time even wanting to go on living, and have a 12 year old daughter whos father died when she was 3, so i know in my head that i need to be strong for her, but my heart is so consumed by his loss that im just barely functioning….ive tried praying til my knees are sore, but altough in the past i have felt Gods love when ive struggled, im struggling now worse than i ever have in my life, yet feel no comfort…im beginning to lose what tentative faith i had and am so hurt and lost i feel like im drowning…i dont know what else to do, and am losing all hope….

    • Hang in there Katie! Eventhough you feel alone… God never leaves you or forsakes you. I lost my mom in 2012 and she died in my arms so I understand that aspect of your greif. It is hard and it takes time but lean hard on the faith you have. I am 1000% convinced I would have had a much harder time greiving and coping had I not depended on the Lord during that time. Lord please wrap your loving arms around Katie and ease her pain. Give her the strength to just tackle each day or even each hour of each day. Lord be with her as she cries out and be with her family as they console her too. Lord we ask these things in your name… Amen!

    • Lisa Gibson says:

      Oh Katie, I’m so sorry. Losing all hope is understandable. I, too, prayed that my husband would recover from his heart issue, but God did not answer my prayers. It has been five months now and I have “grief spasms” and literally pray my way through the moment(s). I will pray for you and everyone that is struggling to walk on this path that was not expected or ever imagined. Please cry out to others for help. Keep crying out to the Lord!

  137. Lysa… you are amazing and you just get how to express what many of us feel. Reading this was like walking back into my own situation and it is comforting to know that you get it and can help all of us. You are such a blessing!!!! May God keep you well and deep in ministry!

  138. Today would have been our 16th Wedding anniversary. I am in a happy spot right now and actually want to smile and laugh. My husband has been gone for 1.5 hears. But, it took a lot of deep grieving and faith in the Lord to get to this spot. Funny, In my mind, I always imagined my grief work as approaching a bright light and coming out of darkness. So the Psalms and quotes about darkness emerging into light hits home to me. Your last comment about how you can help people who are grieving was thought provoking. You suggested people be proactive and just do things. I totally agree. If I had a penny for everyone who said “let me know if I can help” I would be rich. My response would always be “as soon as I figure it out” but I could never come up with an idea…. part of the foggy head syndrome of grief. Thank you

  139. My son lost his battle to drugs 10/08/2012. I have not been the same since. I grieve daily and feel lost in my grief . I had complete trust that he would overcome his battle for me to see and rejoice here on earth with him. God did not see it that way. I just want joy, faith and hope that I will see him again one day.. My faith needs restoring..you see I do believe just broken.

  140. thanks for helping me see grief in this way. I have lost my oldest brother, (65) in Feb. my dad in May, my mom in June. Before the year is out I will lose a nephew- that brother will have lost his 2nd of 3 sons. Some days it is difficult to press on. Thankful for prayers lifting me (our family) up.

  141. I lost my husband and bestfriend last week I am in deep deep grief. I don’t know if I can make it. It hurts to bad.

    • Lisa Gibson says:

      I will pray for you Elaine…I understand. My husband was my best friend and the grief is overwhelming. You can make it. I am thinking of you.

  142. We lost our son in an auto accident this past April. He was the youngest of three , only 22 yrs old. I cannot shed a tear. The pain is unbearable at times. I know he is in the wonderful arms of our Lord. Maybe that’s why I can’t cry?! Your message was very calming. THANK YOU.

  143. Thank you so much for posting this. I lost my mom on Aug. 1, and I am really struggling right now. My dad and my brother are, too. You have such an elegant way of phrasing things that makes your words very comforting. Though I am lost and hurting right now, I am comforted in knowing that God makes beautiful things out of the dust. And because of His promise of eternal life – and His unfailing love and grace – I know I will see my mom again some day…

  144. Julie Mindel says:

    This was the perfect thing I needed today. My mom is clinging to life in the hospital and I feel helpless. I want to take on some of her illness but I can’t. I know that God is with us and I will pull out of this grief one day. Thank you for such a meaningful story.

  145. Chauncie Bower says:

    I lost my mom a little over 3 months ago to a long fought battle with ovarian cancer. It was the most difficult thing I have ever had to do, watch her be so sick she can’t hold her head up, watch her whither away to bones, change her diapers, watch her slipping away from me more each day and now dealing with life without her. She was my number one fan. I appreciate this devotional on deep grief so I can understand, no I’m not crazy, and no I’m not alone. God heals and I know that, but some days it is just so hard. Thank you.

  146. Thank you for sharing & giving hope and faith to those who grieve. I lost my dad & sister the same month. It did change my life forever. They passed in 2013 but sometimes it seems like yesterday or at least the sorrow & pain does. Your perspective of life, love, faith does & only knowing God can keep us going & sharing his message to others because one day we too will be with God.

  147. I lost my dear little dog Maggie yesterday, and I can’t stop crying.. I am a Christian, and I know God is with me, but it has been so hard. She was only sick a few days, and passed quickly, as my husband told me he prayed for her not to suffer. She did die peacefully near us in the kitchen. I lost my Dad and my sister just four weeks apart a short time ago, and I did not cry as much then as I have now. I think my grief was harboring and came out now. I will see Dad and sis again in heaven and I had that comfort when they died. My friend sent me this devotional reading which was very soothing to me. Thank you.

  148. In 1985 i endured prolonged deep grief due to an unexpected divorce. Deep grief became an oppressive despair of life, of which I could not get free. At a crucible time of wanting to end the pain, I was freed from the emotional trauma. I no longer wanted to die, because ti was an exhilarating breath of life and i only desired to live again as a normal man. I had no explanation of this very unusual miracle. Six months later, in a secular seminar on creating a new life through mediation. I was visited by the Holy Spirit and I heard a non-audible voice speak to me, “Don I want you to die too. But I want you to do it my way.” I replied, “Lord that was you who delivered me from despair! From now I will live my life serving only you. From now on it’s you and me.”
    I was awed by the fact that the Lord came to me when twice when I was not seeking His intervention. He had been with me since the day of my salvation, even though I was not living my life “following Him”. I am amazed that throughout my life out my life blazing my own trail, He never left me and was faithful to deliver me and then at a later time came to me again to direct me in the new life I was seeking. Praise His name!

  149. World has Stopped says:

    Polar opposite make the world turn and in my life I have two teenage sons that make my world spin … and just days ago one of my sons did the unthinkable and took his own life and now my world has stopped. I can imagine doing anything without him or my world even be able to spend again we did everything together and I don’t know how to do anything without him … How can this be? Words from many try to comfort seems that no words can bring the comfort needed … today is day one of his funeral it’s the first event I’ve done without him … Once a man of incredible strength now as weak as a wet cooked noodle … Not knowing which way is up or what to do … Needing my son I would do anything to live with love and hold my boy again … Words are nice but the cloud of grief has me blinded as to which way is out

  150. Carole Lawrence says:

    How long does it take? My Sister passed away 3 years ago. I miss her so much. I want to sit down and talk to her and call her on the phone. I want her back. We are not young. My sister was 70 when she passed and I was 65. I go along doing what is suppose to be done and something will happen out of the blue and it hits so hard. The Lord is my strength, my savior, my shepherd, and my shelter. I have told him he has made a mistake, I need her more. I know he listens, I know he comforts me, but how it still hurts. There is an empty feeling that doesn’t go away. I talk to her all the time, so wish she could talk to me.

  151. I really needed this post. I lost my brother 6 months ago, he was murdered but the police are calling it an accident. My family and I are not able to grieve like we are suppose too because we have had to hire outside sources to investigate his murder. Then 3 months later my dad passed away unexpectedly. It has been so hard on our family, especially my mom. Right now it seems like happiness is a thing of the past. If I didn’t have Jesus in my life I don’t know how I would get up sometimes. Knowing how I feel makes me feel so much worse for my mom because she lost her son, my brother and my dad who she was married to for 47 yes. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about my brother or my dad.

  152. Thank you so much for eloquently describing grief. I lost my only precious daughter at 17 in a traumatic car crash.
    We called the numbness we felt and still feel at times Gods anaesthetic !!
    It’s only by Gods grace and his hope we are on this journey trying to find our new normal!!
    It’s so important to surround yourselves with friends and family who take you as you are and let you speak her name… Hannah!! Who intercede for you and are just there doing practical things because you’re too exhausted too!!
    I thank God for giving us our beautiful daughter and try to gain comfort knowing she is with her Heavenly Father and that we shall see her again…… Even though the journey is so painful everyday.

  153. Thank you so much for sharing. Four months ago our daughter’s fiance died from a horrible tragedic accident. Our whole family has been devastated for her and their two year old son. At times the frief has been unbearable. As her mother I have struggled with, “why is she having to endure this pain?” I continue to struggle to make sense of it but each day gets a little easier. I agree that you have to stop asking “why” and simply move forward. The wound is still fairly fresh but for the first time in several years, my daughter went to church. God is our comforter. Jesus promised, “Blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted.”

  154. I’m thanking God for this post and the encouragement it is bringing me. 6 months ago my family lost a member in a tragic accident while he was working, his name was Blake and he left behind a young wife & two little girls ages 4 and 2. He was my cousin but more like a brother because I looked up to him so dearly and loved him with all my heart. The pain of losing him is still the hardest thing I’ve ever experienced, but thankfully his girls are so much like him it’s almost as if we still have a piece of him to hold onto when the days get hard. There have also been many people who have come to Christ in light of Blakes death, including a coworker Blake had prayed for diligently, and even his father in law. Please continue to pray for my family and pray that we will continue to see Gods blessings in the midst of this heartache.

  155. I just lost my husband a month ago. This article helped.

  156. Bonnie Masom says:

    Thank you so much for sharing I have a lot of grief every year For five years I lost someone in my family it started with my Mom, the next year my brother in-law, my nephew’s wife shot herself in the head. Next my 42 year old daughter had a heart attack due to drugs, the next year my grandson who took an overdose of pills. Truly God has been my strength and comforter. I know everyone grieves different and it was a process but my grief overwhelmed me into depression your article is the best thing I have read on the broken hearted! For the first time I felt like someone truly understood! Thank you so much for sharing May God bless you please keep in your prayers!

  157. So much has happened this past week I have not kept up with my daily devotions. I am just now reading this. My family lost my youngest brother (45 years old) to brain cancer on Wednesday, 9/23. Your words are so poignant. My heart hurts. But God is able and with his grace and mercy we will make it thru. Thank you for your words.

  158. My only child, my son Caleb died this past July 8th. He was 15. I am absolutely heartbroken and destroyed. He took his own life. I found him in his room. I feel as if a nerve has been severed. A dear friend gave me your writings and I have done nothing but cry. His birthday is October 18. Mine is October 4th. I don’t know how to get through the next three months without being an absolute basket case.

  159. I lost my first child Monday at 17 weeks. My heart breaks every morning when I wake up and remember everything again. I am praying to hear God’s voice because that is all that will keep me going.

    • BrokenHearted says:

      I know what it feels like to wake up after restless sleep and feel that grief and stress all over again, like one HUGE nightmare.

      Anger, restentment, stress depression, anxiety all come at once. God is with us.

  160. My 51 year old husband died suddenly at work, 30 weeks and 2 days ago. We had been together 25 years, and he was responsible for helping me recover from years of emotional abuse from my first marriage, restoring my sense of self worth and esteem. I struggle every day with such a profound sense of loss. We had weathered the loss of babies to stillbirth and miscarriages, and came out stronger. Our marriage wasn’t perfect, but it was 180° different from my first marriage. How do I begin to move on? I am just existing, going through the motions, but not living. . .

  161. thank you for sharing. my mother passed away suddenly 3 months ago. i am divided between going through my days on autopilot, pretending nothing happened and suddenly being so overwhelmed with gut wrenching grief i can barely function. i will be okay and then suddenly i will have a memory of my mother and i am frozen in place, afraid that if i let myself continue to remember, i will fall to the ground and be unable to go on. it is the sadness that i can not bear. i am never not sad….it just varies in its intensity. i will always have this sadness, but i know i will learn to live with it.

  162. I, too, have stood next to a too-small casket in pink. And I, too, have wondered if it would be possible to ever dance again (as she so loved to do). And even though this article made me cry, I also cry in thanksgiving for the joy that the Lord has chosen to show me since my dear daughter joined Him. I cry in amazement at the graces that my girl has guided for our family since she left us on earth. I cry in wonder at God’s mercy and love as He continues to shape our futures and honor us with her memory. Thank you for acknowledging that we can fold up that blanket of deep grief and simply live in the light of the Lord and our Angel who is still very involved with us! Peace and Joy to all of your readers and commenters.

  163. I just was able to read your Dealing with Deep Grief, I have tried to read it but just couldn’t get past the first sentence. My husband of 27 years passed away on April 23, from lung cancer that was not curable. It was a non-smoker cancer and very aggresive type. He was my soul mate, the love of my life. It is a deep grief that hurts deep. I am trying to get through each day and keep living as he requested me to do. But this is hard and yes a deep grief I feel. I hate going home to an empty house. I keep giving it to God. Pam R.

    • Lisa Gibson says:

      Understood! My true love and soul mate died on the same day…April 23rd and I am so sad. His death was completely unexpected. I so wish I had time to say goodbye or just be with him for awhile. Staying close to God is the only way through this journey and I will pray for you! This grief is something I could never have imagined. Something I am doing is writing to my hubby in a journal daily. The words during the first few months are so awful and painful. Now I try to focus on what I’m grateful for; how many blessings God has put in my life and my family’s lives; how many blessings Joe and I shared…it’s hard, hard work and I never imagined being a widow at 57 yrs. of age. God is the head of my life right now and I pray constantly for guidance and how I can serve others. Whew…

  164. i too lost my beloved husband two weeks ago leaving behind me & my two unmarried sons. i have lost my faith in GOD so much that i cant pray as usual. I grieve so much,ifeal that god had no love for me.Please do pray for me .

    • Lisa Gibson says:

      I will pray for you, maya. It has now been 6 months since my sweet hubby passed and it is still difficult. Please try to pray. One thing that I do at night when fear and sadness tries to capture every cell in my body is just say “Jesus” over and over and over. It is a form of prayer, I believe…for me. It sometimes takes a lot of time, but I start to feel a peace and can actually get back to sleep…sometimes. You can argue with God; He can take it and you will at least vent those feelings. I understand how you feel; it is a terribly fearful and dark place. Know you are being prayed for, Maya. I’m so sorry you’re going through this journey that many of us face. Blessings to you and your two sons. I, too, have two sons…I should say WE had/have two sons. Lisa

    • BrokenHearted says:

      God does still live u. I know what that feels like and it succckkks!!

      But there is always hope

  165. I’m in so much pain 2 weeks after my mother passed she was died at home she lived with me I can’t this pain I scream and cry out her namecry out to she died during the night I thought she looked so peaceful she was so scaredyou’re very peaceful in the morning but I hurt I hurt so much I. Want her back! Night is so hard

  166. On July 28th 2015 life for my family stopped. That day my 16 month old grandson died. My son, daughter-in-law and grandson lived with me and one of my other sons.
    The baby was the joy of our home. He was with at least one of us every moment of every day. He enjoyed being outside.
    That day in July his daddy, mommy & uncle were all outside with him. His daddy was moving their car. With everyone there my grandson ran into the path of the car.
    Trauma surgeons, prayer chains,begging & pleading with God didn’t save him.
    My son blames himself. He is not a believer and is angry at God.
    My heart is so broken. I ask God to strengthen me just to function daily.
    I work in a helping ministry that cares for society’s outcasts and broken. Yet I can’t help my family or myself.

  167. BrokenHearted says:

    Hello,

    Thank you for this post. I am enduring SO much right now. What basically is grief for my whole family.

    Lots of loss, deaths in the past couple of years, and a shattered family of 10 or so.

    Extreme cases .

    I am so tired of being sad. I’ve had some therapists help me, but I have physical syptoms related to the PTSD. I ask for all prayers and good-vibes my way, of anyone who cares.

    People can be so cruel, and I guess to know that people are still good, would really be appreciated by me right now.

    In anyway you knkw how; thanks much.

    Love, me

  168. Hi there ladies and gents. I am here to wish you all well. I just lost my mom to stage 4 breast cancer on Dec 7, 2016. I so full of heartache and grief and lost part of my sense of identity. Any words of comfort and healing can be appreciated. I was very close to my mommy. I am 31 and looking for words of comfort and healing and my personal world and my little family has been very shattered and broken since she passed away. Lots of love and comfort to all of you.

  169. Derek Owens says:

    After reading this it put a new perspective on helping my girlfriend deal with the loss of her baby’s dad…he was murdered and left in his car to rot,taking the police 2days to find the body. This is a hard time for her and I felt like there was nothing I could do for her… i stand by her side an watch her Greig over take her on a level that makes my heart ache for her and the feeling of powerlessness only to make it worse. She is my world, my girlfreind,and as strong as she is; this shattered her world. She started to blame herself for his passing and is falling down a rabbit hole that I can’t follow. You say be proactive in helping her, but that makes it hard when you do something unexpected and in her greif she lashes out on me…and then I’m dumbstruck feeling useless again…i wish I can take this pain from her and show her to the grace of God, but in reality she is resentful that he allowed this to happen..how do you stand that test of time?…how do you help someone that is given up hope? How do you turn her face to the light?

  170. I’m so glad I came across this. I lost my younger sister to battens disease a couple weeks ago. Being 18 and living across the country makes it incredibly hard to grieve when bills still need to be paid and you feel so disconnected from your loved ones. reading this has really helped me see that it’s okay to still be dealing with grief even after the funeral is done and we have to go back to our daily schedules.

  171. I lost my only sister 3 and half years ago, then my only brother died 3 months later. Now, 3 and a half years later I feel like I am not even close to feeling any better. I cannot believe how crushed I am and the amount of grief I feel. I’m glad I ran across this site when I typed in to Google “I cannot get over this grief”. It appears I am not alone, which is of some comfort, but also sad that others are suffering like me. I look forward to exploring this site. Thank you for having it. Blessings and love to all of those grieving.

  172. Thank you for sharing with us. God bless you, greatly, and deeply.
    I’m relatively new to this grieving process, and then again, I’m not.
    My 27 yr old son, died this 19th day of January 2017. And, my heart so aches, hurts, and I honestly can not even begin to imagine living anymore of life without him.
    And, yet, I have 3 other adult kids, an grandchildren, whom need me. I have to first, relocate my dead son’s 5 yr old daughter that he signed away his rights to, without ever having seen, held, or knew.
    My kids keep telling me to “stop”. “Stop, being so negative.” “Stay off ‘social media’s.” Ect.
    They lost a brother. A brother they were very bonded to. There big brother. My daughter and my son who died were 1 yr 6 days apart. His birthday was June 2nd. He should have been, 28. Her birthday is, Thurs June 8, she will be 27.
    I can not speak on their loss. I’ve not experienced what they are going through.
    I’ve lost my mother to suicide, at my age of 24, in 1989. I’ve lost my dad from colon cancer, 2000. At age,35-36. I’ve lost babies, ×4, that were not born, save one at 12 wks, I saw my baby in the little bubble (sac). I’ve lost my grandmother’s, friends, relatives.
    I can speak on those. Your Mother is your greatest loss. That is until, you say, “til I see you again”, after your child dies.
    I’ve had little to no support. None from my children, or my boyfriend. Other issues in our relationships.
    I’m trying to draw close to God. It’s so hard when the pain is so overwhelming. And, there is no one to trust or receive comfort from. Only put down, rejections, and misconstrued opinions.
    Nevertheless, I’m trying. I know God, is always good. And, I very much appreciate your blog. I’m glad that God, led me here this morning.
    Praise God, may He continually annoint your life and words. May He continually bring peace, comfort, love, and hope to all of us. In Jesus name, amen.

  173. My heart is deeply distressed. My daughter age 33 died. She had just gotten her children back from an abusive husband 3 years before she passed. So she left behind those dear children and her new husband that loved her deeply. I stood on God’s promises for her. The day before she died she looked straight at me and said, momma help me. All I could do was pray. But now I feel guilty for not doing something right. How do I get past this? I am in prayer and God’s word. But there are times my heart feels betrayed by God, and/or I feel responsible for her death. It really hurts. Any advice would be appreciated.
    Cathy

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