Fight About it Tomorrow

Fight About it Tomorrow

March 27, 2017

“When they arrived back in Jerusalem, Jesus entered the Temple and began to drive out the people buying and selling animals for sacrifices. He knocked over the tables of the money changers and the chairs of those selling doves, and he stopped everyone from using the Temple as a marketplace.” Mark 11:15-16 (NLT)

Devotion Graphic

I was 41 years old and fighting with my dad like I was 14.

My father wasn’t feeling well and (in my opinion) was a little crabby. I was sore and tired from a 10-hour car ride with three children, so I suppose it’s possible I was a little crabby, too.

We were in the kitchen having breakfast and looking through vacation photos when he started complaining about how he hates looking at photos on phones. “Why can’t people just print off pictures like they used to?”

I reminded him we still live in a world of color printers: “If you want, I’d be happy to make real, live copies for you to hold in your hands.”

Now, that would have been fine. I could’ve stopped there. But no. Since my mouth was already open, I decided to carry on and tell him how terribly negative I thought he’d been for the past week. “Why are you so focused on the bad things, Dad? It’s exhausting. How about trying to comment on the good for a change?”

I continued, and so did my dad. The decibel level got so loud that my husband walked into the room. After about five minutes, I “won.” He apologized and said he would try to be more positive.

But I didn’t win. Because two days later, my dad had a major stroke. He spent a week lying in a hospital bed, then months in a nursing home, unable to move one side of his body or name most of the people who walked into the room.

The guilt was overwhelming. Why didn’t I lead with kindness?

I took my grief to God and opened to a Bible passage I had never noticed before. I realized God was about to teach me through this trial.

Mark 11:11 says, “So Jesus came to Jerusalem and went into the Temple. After looking around carefully at everything, he left …” (NLT)

Four verses later, otherwise known as the next morning, the story continues: “When they arrived back in Jerusalem, Jesus entered the Temple and began to drive out the people buying and selling animals for sacrifices. He knocked over the table of the money changers and the chairs of those selling doves, and he stopped everyone from using the Temple as a marketplace” (Mark 11:15-16).

Did you catch that? Jesus didn’t unleash his fury the first time he saw the Temple. He scoped out the situation, slept on it and then went in the next day with the roundhouse kick.

Raising our voices isn’t out of line. The problem is often our timing. We need to take time to search for the right words so the wrong words — in the wrong decibel — don’t sneak up on us. I don’t know about you, but my relationships would be a whole lot sweeter if I would assess each situation and take the time to decide if it’s worth fighting about. If it is, it’ll still be there tomorrow.

God is good at teaching — and redeeming. My dad is once again well enough to share a meal, breathe words of wisdom into his daughter’s sometimes chaotic life, and even look at photos on a cellphone. Although he still prefers the printed version, we sure don’t fight about it anymore.

Heavenly Father, we are in awe of the way You can take every trial and turn it into a teaching opportunity. Lord, give us the wisdom to hold our words until we are certain we are in the center of Your will. Thank You for Your forgiveness when we fail or fall short. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

TRUTH FOR TODAY:
James 1:19-20, “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.” (NIV)

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REFLECT AND RESPOND:
Think of a time when you let anger fly from your tongue. What would have changed if you had waited a day to voice your opinion?

Memorize a Scripture verse you can call to mind when you feel yourself being pulled into an argument. Perhaps consider starting with Proverbs 15:1, “A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.” (NLT)

© 2017 by Nicole J Phillips. All rights reserved.

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Comments

  1. Oh how very wise…not always easy. Waiting on the Lord, asking Him the how to handle it is always a good choice. Thank you for this great word today.

  2. Dot Buenacasa says:

    Thank you for sharing your heart. How important to reflect before we speak. Using wisely that time in reflection & prayer for the Holy Spirit to work in us, in the situation.

    • Hi Dot! Every once in a while, I’ll write the word PAUSE on my wrist as a reminder to slow down enough to let the Holy Spirit intervene. It makes it much easier to choose my words.
      Have a great day!

  3. I needed this! Lord, help me to let the petty things go altogether and to thing long and hard before I speak conflict.

    • Gayle,
      What a great way to put it– “let the petty things go!” It really does help to keep things in perspective when you realize they are truly petty compared to the Kingdom of God!
      Many blessings!
      Nicole

  4. BillieSue Langdoc says:

    Sometimes when we are hurt it’s from something someone says that catches you as a deer in headlights. That’s what my husband and I are suffering from right now. Neither of us angrily replied….we were in shock and now are trying to decide what to do. We are blessed we held our tongues.

  5. I am amazed at how much energy is spent on things that don’t matter. Sometimes I say (only half-joking) that if it isn’t going to come up for discussion when I stand before the Throne of Grace, I’m not going to get into a tizzy about it now.

    The comment usually brings a smile, and the conversation heads in a different direction.

    • Victoria says:

      That is a great perspective! I need to remember that one when I want to fight over the little things.

    • Thank you Shirlee for your response this morning. It made me stop and pray about the things I have allowed to weigh me down this morning that really do NOT matter. I asked the Lord to help me to move on and forgive me for letting it consume my thoughts.

    • That is the truth, Shirlee! I’m going to steal that line. It’ll make others — and especially me — remember to bring God into the conversation. Thanks!!! Nicole

  6. Suzy Metts says:

    I’m a scrapbooker — I take the photos of the special moments in our lives and place them in a large photo book, embellishing them to tell “the story” of that special moment to be recalled for the future. In his later years, my father -in-law enjoyed looking at my creations, so each time we would visit him in the Assisted Living Home, I’d bring my latest book. He loved to turn the pages slowly and “pet” the pictures. I know that finger prints are not good for preserving photos and many people place page protectors over their pages; but, because touching the pictures and embellishments were part of his enjoyment, I chose never to cover the photos with the plastic sleeves. He too, loved the “real photos”. Maybe it was because they were larger and easier to see…but maybe, just maybe, it was because he could “connect” to them with more of his senses. It was my happy privilege to share with him my favorite hobby which gave him so much joy. He is no longer with us on this earth, but I have many fond memories of this precious man which I’ve captured in his own memorial scrapbook pages (with no page protectors). =)

    • Tiffany R says:

      What a beautiful story, it really touched me. Thank you for sharing that and taking the time to care about your father in law and be a blessing in his life.

    • Suzy,
      What a beautiful gift you gave to your father-in-law! My sister and I have been making my dad photo books from the computer with really large photos so he can hold them and touch them. They’re not nearly as nice as the handmade version, but he does seem to enjoy seeing all the photos of our families. I think you’ve given lots of people an idea of how to love on their loved ones.
      Praying your week is filled with kindness!
      Nicole

    • I too am a scrapbooker. I just got done teaching a class of 6 ladies tonight. I need to remember to start having my ladies journal on the pages to tell their stories. It can be such a ministry to others. I am still smiling at your post. Most of us crafters would freak out without page protectors, but you, you have his prints all over your book. How cool is that! From one fellow sister scrapbooker to another 🙂

  7. Thank you Nicole for this timely reminder. ~Lisa~

  8. Wonderful and timely message.Beautifully written. Thank for beginning my week with this, and I pray I can use it in my walk to shine His light on others.

  9. Victoria says:

    This is a Word from the Lord for me today (everyday)! Thank you. God has really been working on me in this area and it is pretty uncomfortable. My mouth and tongue are often quick and anything but gentle, kind, soft, or wise.

    Could you also please pray for my dad? He will be 70 in May and does not know Jesus as his Savior. I appreciate it.
    God bless.

    • Praying that your dad realizes the love of his Heavenly Father!

    • I just prayed for your dad this morning.

    • A word of encouragement… My dad accepted Christ as his Savior & then was baptized at the age of 76.
      He just needed someone to walk down the isle at church “with” him. He was capable of walking on his own but just needed the emotional support and someone by his side. Prayer is powerful… and I prayed for your dad, too.
      God bless.

    • I just prayed for your Dad

    • Hi Victoria!
      You have a team of warriors praying for your dad to know Jesus– count me in! And you’re right, it is very uncomfortable when God starts working on us in a particular area, but I’m always grateful that He’s not willing to leave me the way I am!
      Nicole

  10. God is good!! I’ve currently have a situation I’m dealing with my son and this couldn’t come at a better time. Helps me to remember to think before speaking. I’ve been doing that some this weekend but now das knows & he doesn’t always think first. I pray dad will think first and reaction calmly. My son doesn’t need to be beaten down anymore. He is realizing he made a mistake and now we have to cover come it. Thank you Lord for knowing which verses we need to hear each day.

    • Alison, my husband ( both of us previously widowed) and now each have a young adults sons. I am compelled to share this book with you. It is simply the skill of active listening but when my husband read and followed it, it was life changing for his relationship with his son. His son shares everything with him as a result of this book and I have learned after my son is grown, all the roadblocks that suppressed by son being open to communicate with me. Loves listens to understand before responding. And being heard is a gift you can give your son. Even when he is wrong you want to value him and correct bad behavior. http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/165548.Parent_Effectiveness_Training

    • Alison, it sounds like a time of transition and learning in your family. I pray God covers you all and continues to provide you with words, reminders, and resources to help you on this journey. God bless! Nicole

  11. Really puts things in perspective. Think before you talk….especially on those days you feel right and need to justify. Thanks for the reminder!

    • Susan,
      Thanks for your comment. You’re right, it absolutely put things in perspective for me. Now I just have to translate that to the rest of my life! 😉
      Many blessings,
      Nicole

  12. Thank you so much for this verse. My whole life I’ve struggled with a sharp tongue and it’s so much harder to heal the wounds done by that than any wound inflicted on a body! I still struggle with it to this day with my own children. Thank you for the great devotional to start this week and a great verse to put on my heart! Dear Lord, help me to hold my tongue and to seek your will over my own! Help me to be a loving support to my family and shine your love through me to them!

  13. Good Morning Nicole and thank you for this timely offering of your gift.
    I am governed by this Godly word as well and I hope it will bless all that reads it.
    A soft answer turns away wrath
    Proverbs 15:1

    • Hi Deborah!
      That is one of the first verses my young daughter chose to memorize. I should have taken that as a sign long ago! 😉 Luckily, she’s moved on to other verses.
      Many blessings,
      Nicole

  14. Jennifer says:

    Thank you for sharing the Scripture in Mark. I needed that reference. 🙂

  15. Remembering the kindness you have shared in Fargo Nicole – so wonderful to hear & read your words this morning. The roundhouse kick made me laugh!

    • Hi Laura!
      Gotta keep it real! 😉
      Hope to see you in Fargo in April. I’m coming back for several speaking engagements. Can’t wait to see all my favorite people, places and things!
      Nicole

  16. Amy Ramsay says:

    This is so true. And I’ve been trying to do this in my life with my daughters. I’m not sure if i did right or wrong last week, but when I found out that my girl is fooling around with her boyfriend, I wrote him a polite text reminding him to be respectful of her and my husband and me etc. Basically a polite “keep your pants zipped” text. My daughter is livid with me. BUT, i also know she has been lying to us about her activities, drugs, alcohol, smoking, sex etc. and when my husband asked her she denied everything. She wouldn’t talk to him only text. She had confessed in late January/early February that she had been smoking pot but claimed she quit. That was a lie too.
    Now for six days I’ve been sitting on this information trying to decide what to do. See, I had read her journal. That is a quandary in itself. This past December she had given her testimony in her faith walk class and one of the things that she said was that she had wished we had read her journals growing up because then we would have known she suffered from depression. But I respected her privacy and so because I never read them, I never knew that she was suffering from depression. So when something came up last weekend, for whatever reason, I decided to look in her journal and I was shocked by What I saw.
    I also know that she has been guilting me for the last six months and every time anything goes wrong she tells me that she can’t trust me. In fact, in her journal she said that she pulls that card on me. So I know she’s used the “I can’t trust you” guilt card on me several times, to weasel out of things and to deflect the attention from her to me. The last time she used it was after she had confessed to smoking pot. A few days later she told me she was going somewhere and I checked in with the parent where she was supposed to be to make sure that that was the truth and she got livid with me. But I found out in her journal that she used the guilt card on me and even proceeded to smoke and drink and possibly do drugs that evening. And the confession was only a half truth because she told me she had stopped smoking pot at a certain point but really hasn’t stopped.
    I had suspected something back in late November. I told my husband that she smelled weird and her eyes looked weird. When we asked her about it, she denied that she had done anything.
    The ramifications of all this is not just going to effect her. it’s going to affect a number of her friends in her friend group. Friends who are supplying the drugs. Friends who are lying to their parents for each other. Parents who either knowingly or unknowingly are culpable because of the things that are going on in their houses.
    This is a big mess. We’re talking about teenagers breaking the law. And I have to figure out what to do. I have been praying about it and I’ve been losing sleep and I’ve been feeling sick and I’ve had a migraine for six days. I’m not sure what I’m going to do and how I’m going to handle this.
    My husband is unsaved but he knows what is going on. I just need a lot of prayer as to how the two of us are going to handle this.
    I’ve been praying that she become so convicted that she confesses on her own but it doesn’t look like that’s going to happen. Many prayers are appreciated.

    • Guilt is from the devil. God convicts, not condemns. The way I think about my kids is that God entrusted them to me and I will do anything I feel I need to do to protect them. Even invading their privacy if need be. Don’t let your daughter manipulate your feelings sister. Praying for you.

    • I feel for you, Amy and I am praying for you to have great wisdom and courage. It is so difficult when teenage children lie to us. We don’t know when we can trust them again. It’s ironic that your daughter accused you of being untrustworthy, but, as you say, it was just to make you feel guilty.

    • A friend of mine went through a very similar situation about two years ago with her daughter. It came down to her and her husband practicing some very tough love. In her words, they were prepared to do anything it took to save her daughter because the devil wasn’t going to have her. They took away her cell phone, made her quit a job where she had the influence of negative friends, basically monitored every move because she had destroyed trust as well as other things. Fast forward, this daughter was recently baptized, is dating a super strong Christian young man, rides horses for a hobby. It was a very rough road for awhile but I don’t know what would have happened if mom and dad had not taken a very firm stand.

    • GODONLYKNOWS says:

      You can’t blame the devil soul-ly on what is happening with your daughter. Your daughter is searching for something. To do drugs, drink, and having sex at a young age, is a need to fill q void in something she is alone is seeking to find. Even when a person gets old they will do the same thing when their is a void in their life. If your daughter was or still is possible depressed there are many recognizable verbal and body languages that will point out the problems that come with depression.
      Texting a young man to “keep it zipped” will not stop a sexual relationship. It takes two to tango. The blame is not always on the young man. Many times young ladies are just as much to blame.
      Having an unyoked marriage is a difficult stand to then try to have the Lord be in control. There has to be unity to have diversity to conquer the issues in the way the Lord would desire.
      I would suggest you gently and I do mean gently sit down with your daughter and have a calm open positive talk. Don’t hide around the bush with what verbally needs addressed. But first you and your husband needs yoked. You can not be one sided with religion and expect the teenager to submit if one of the parents is not equal in religious views. That is not fair to the child nor the regulations being guided for the teenager by the parents. I would tell her that you have broken her trust by looking at her journal. That is private issue that she will feel violated no matter if she expressed at one time for you to read it. If she had not presently asked you to read it, then it is still a violation. Trust goes both ways. If you are not showing trust in her, then she will most certainly will not show trust in you Trust comes by mouth, spirit, heart, and body. Again if a marriage is unyoked in views, that is one way there is a division in trust.
      To say she has played the “guilt card!” is not something she just learned. This is something you allowed her to do since she was very young. Young or old a person will learn how to manipulate if they were never broken of this trait when they were young. Just as well as a parent is not respectfully sound enough if they don’t recognize they are being played for a foul when they give into someone playing the guilt card at any age.
      If she chooses to be sexually active then a doctor’s appointment will be needed made. If she chooses to do drugs, and smoke, then again a doctor’s appointment needs to be made. You cannot stop her from doing these things that you wish she would not dabble into. She has to make the choose to stop. Grounding, screaming, and texting uncertain kind words will only add fuel to the burning fire. You must sit down and calmly and openly discuss these problems that are troubling you and making her dabble in things that she needs to learn there are consequences for the choices she is making. The more you throw your own temper tantrum of not wanting her to dabble in these things in a harsh destroying way, just like the example you said was done in texting to the young man, the more she will choice to dance more in being sexually active and doing drugs and drinking. As a parent one wants to have their children make the right decisions. But many times when the choices are made out of anger, and harsh decisions, it only then makes the relationship with the teenager more broken then healed. For you have to realize she is growing up. The choices she is making are very difficult to handle when you don’t want her to go down those destructive pathway. But one has to be gentle and speak love even through the difficulties. Being more forceful like I said earlier will only drive her a way. An open communication with her is more wise then to throw gas on the coals of troubles with harsh words and going behind her back. Imagine if you were in her shoes at her age, and doing the things she is doing…what would you want to hear from someone being the parent to you?
      The devil is a trickster that is true. But so can a parent be a trickster too, when they don’t show they are shielded by the blood of Jesus and have the full armor on too.

      • I feel I need to respond. I am not only blaming the boyfriend. And the more I think about it, I had every right to have the parental talk with him because he is dating my daughter. Regardless of whether or not I know he was fooling around, I don’t feel that this particular talk with him was wrong. It is something any parent would do, I think. It was not done in a harsh way. It was done kindly, politely and respectfully it. The reason I think that she is so angry, is because she is guilty.

        If I wait for my husband and I to be spiritually yoked, this matter with my daughter may never get addressed. I have been married to him for 22 years and he’s never shown any interest in salvation. As for being of the same mind with regards to her issues, we are together in that.

        With regard to the trust issue, I was trusting her. For all of these months- from Before she had confessed in January to smoking pot and since then. But red flags were going up and when I saw a picture on social media of her smoking, I became suspicious. So I read her journal. The point is this. I trusted her and she betrayed that trust. She was betraying the trust before she “confessed” and after.

        I never grounded, screamed, or texted anything unkind. In fact, my husband and I showed nothing but grace and mercy when she confessed back in January to smoking the pot (and she lied about when she had actually quit). In fact the next day, when I double checked where she was going, she became angry again and then spent the evening drinking and smoking. I had extended grace mercy and trust and it was betrayed once again. But up until last week, I did not know this. I was blissfully ignorant and in all honesty I almost rather be blissfully ignorant at this point. And as far as the trust goes, I feel that I was trusting her and it was within reason. I don’t think it is unreasonable that the day after she confessed to smoking pot, to make sure that a parent would be home when my daughter would be there with her boyfriend and another guy, especially as his mother is a youth pastor at a local church. I was looking out for all involved and I have to say that the mother was happy that I messaged her. Unfortunately she accidentally told my daughter who became angry again and pulled the guilt card on me. And you’re right, she knows exactly how to get to me.

        I just wanted to address these issues that You mentioned.

    • Amy, bless you… and bless your entire family. What you are going through is so very difficult. I have a 13 year old daughter so I’m just entering the teenage years. We have to do whatever we can to save our daughters. I have a friend who recently started seeing a Christian counselor with her daughter. It’s given my friend an excellent resource for navigating this unchartered territory.
      I can tell you love your daughter very much. I pray God covers you with his almighty hand. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

    • Oh Amy, my heart breaks for you. My daughter just recently turned 14 and it’s been a difficult year for her. She’s gotten in with some friends who aren’t making the best decisions when it comes to the things you are talking about, to the point where the police have been involved. I feel the same as these other ladies. Fight for your daughter! As I was sitting in the principal’s office over a week ago, I asked her – Honey, who do you think cares about you and loves you more. Me, the principal, and your teachers… Or your friends? She quietly responded “you”. She’s in a battle and many of our kids are. Know that I am thinking and praying for you and your family. I too am married and my husband is not where I would like him to be at on his spiritual journey BUT, you both have one thing in common… You love your daughter and want what is best for her. I pray you will both be on the same page as far as next steps with her, and that you will have the courage to do what is right even though all hell may break loose with her friends. You are doing this to protect and save her from choices that aren’t the best. Sometimes, I wonder if our kids are just waiting to see if we’ll bring things up to see if we care enough to call them out on what they are doing vs. other kids who know their parents don’t care at all and it’s a free for all. Honestly, I think they’d rather have a parent who cares enough even if they get in trouble. It shows how much were willing to fight for them. Shalom (as my Dad would always say).

  17. Thank you for your message this morning. This is an area that has been repeatedly coming before me and your words serve as a reminder and confirmation of an are on which I need to continue to receive God’s word. In particular when it comes to my words with my sons. Words have power. I am glad that you still have your Dad with whom you can continue to make good memories!

  18. Nicole- the same thing happened to me! My Mother had been cranky for months. The last time I saw her alive I was snippy because I had had enough. The guilt is brutal! She died a few days later from a massive stroke. Love these verses and the perceptive you gave! It’s been 5 years and the Lord has healed my heart, but this devo is going to protect many a woman from making the same mistake we did.

  19. Thank you so much for this today! I had a crazy weekend dealing with college searches and college fairs with my teenager, while my husband and 9 year old stayed home. I got home very late last night and woke to my house not being as clean as I’d like. Luckily, I spend didn’t his time prior to them awaking, and I had time to change my attitude and thank the Lord that the boys had some time to do things that they won’t usually do when mom and sister are home. Thank you for convicting me before my angry words affected everyone’s day!

    • Kelly- I think you might be living in my house!!! I get up earlier than everyone else just so I have time to get right with God. Hope your week is filled with kindness — sounds like you’re off to a great start!
      Nicole

  20. Thank you, Nicole, and Sue, for sharing your experiences, which, unfortunately I can also relate to , having lost my mother, many years ago, just after we argued during a phone call.I was not following the Lord then, but I am sure this was instrumental in bringing me back into the fold. It was a very unusual verse to illustrate the point you made, Nicole – one I had not really noticed before.

    • Hello Gai,
      I actually hadn’t noticed that verse either until God led me to it as I was praying about the fight with my dad. God is sure good at bringing us around. I’m sorry you lost your mom. May God continue to heal your heart. Amen.

  21. Marilyn Anderson says:

    WOW!! Just wow! I’ve never put those 2 verses together before either. My quick temper has brought me and my family much strife. I learned the verse in James many years ago which has helped tremendously. Thank you Jesus for giving us the example of how to live it out! Thank you Nicole for teaching us!

  22. This post reminded me of thoughts I had after 9/11. I started thinking about how many people wished they had just another minute or opportunity to say I love you, I’m sorry or give their loved ones a hug or kiss before they left for work. Nobody is perfect and we all have regrets, but that is one hard lesson I took from that horrific day.

    God is loving and forgiving, but we don’t always have a second chance to make things right. I’m thankful that I have another day to show love and gratitude to my mom and many others in my life.

  23. Niki Larson says:

    Thank-you for this word today. The stand out scripture from a devotional I read earlier was Beatitudes #7 Blessed are the merciful for they show mercy. I am not usually very good at showing mercy especially to my husband or children, but I prayed for Father God to help me in this area and because I have faith I know it will happen.

  24. After you left with your phone, where can he see photos? I too, with not as much to do but look at photos now, I am so glad to have photos!

    • Good point, Marilyn! He had some on his phone and some on my phone, but he doesn’t like looking at either of them. My sister and I both started making him photo books off the computer after his stroke. He seems to really enjoy seeing them and holding them in his hands. Many blessings, Nicole

  25. Sharon Goldman says:

    What a well written article. Hopefully, I can be reminded of these verses and this article when I need it.

    Thank you.

    • Sharon,
      Thanks for taking the time to read it and respond! Sometimes I put a little piece of paper in my pocket with an important scripture on it and pull it out throughout the day. It seems to help keep me grounded.
      May your week be filled with kindness!
      Nicole

  26. Thank you for sharing your experience with us. It reminded me to be like Jesus and walk away as He did. To be quiet too. Pray…

  27. Elizabeth says:

    Thank you!! very encouraging devotion!

  28. Kimberly Cram says:

    Oh my, what beautifully perfect timing the Lord has!! Today’s writing has touched the depths of my heart and brought the wisdom to my mind that I so eagerly ask for from Him. Thank you for sharing this story and for bringing light to these key verses!
    Amen! Singing His Glorious praises!

    Kimberly Cram

    • Kimberly, I am so very grateful to hear that something God has said through me has resonated with you. You are His cherished daughter…
      May you be blessed with kindness this week,
      Nicole

  29. There isn’t a person alive, who is a caring thinking Christian, that can’t read your story and find they needed to be reminded of the significant lesson you learned.
    I pray it will take permanent hold of my heart and my tongue!
    Thank you Nicole

  30. Very well written. I found myself trying to jump into conclusions about a situation right now but remembering your post I decided to leave it till tomorrow. Continue to be our blessing. Thanks for this post x

  31. Tisha Lunsford says:

    Thank you so much for sharing this blessed insight… I had an extremely painful and similar situation and was unable to redeem it. Your words produce tears but also remind me of the triumph of Christ’s finishing work on the cross and His power in us to slowly be sanctified through suffering. Beautifully written and anointed for teaching.

    • Oh Tisha, I’m so sorry to hear that you didn’t have an opportunity to set it all straight. I pray that God works on your heart to provide total healing this side of Heaven.
      Many blessings,
      Nicole

  32. Thank you so much for the reminder. This is something I, also, struggle with daily.

    • Hi Amanda! Thanks for your comment. I’m pretty sure all humans struggle with patience and anger. It’s what makes us human instead of God! May you be blessed with kindness this week!
      Nicole

  33. Sharon fracassi says:

    So glad your dear father recovered and that you both can still share precious time together.
    Thank you so much for sharing your heart, Nicole.

    I have so many pics on my phone and haven’t gotten use to the ‘modern’ way of printing out. I recently met a young girl looking through her prints as I was at Walmart chilling out at McDonald’s 😀I asked her to remind me once again how I can do that with my new I Phone.
    My 80 year mom-in-law has lived with my husband and I for three years with many health problems. Often I show her pics from my phone, but you sharing your heart, and just meeting this young girl has motivated me to take that trip back to Walmart (and McDonalds!) to print out and make up a small 4×6 hand held photo album for mom to hold and look through. Pics of her eight GREAT GRANDbabes always puts a smile on her beautiful face.
    You have also encouraged me to pause before I speak out in frustration. Being a full time caregiver can have it’s challenges, but surely for her as well. Roles reversed…mother being cared for now by the children; when for years she was the one caring for her family. I often have to remind myself that if I were caring Mary, our Lord’s honored earthly mother, how would He want me to love, care for, and speak to her?

    God bless you, Nicole, and thank you again for sharing your precious heart💕

    • Hello Sharon!
      Those role reversals sure are tough. Sounds like your heart is in the right place though. And I bet your mother-in-law will LOVE looking at that photo album. My sister and I have been making online photo books for my dad and he loves holding them in his hands and looking through them.
      Many blessings on this season of your life,
      Nicole

  34. Teri Brown says:

    I do not often read these anymore but when I was going through my email something made me open it up. It was just want I needed to hear. I have been angry of late and though I don’t lash out. I stuff it or eat it. I like the example of surveying the situation and responding on another day. Not spending money I don’t have on something I should not be eating. Trust that God be slower in feeling angry and direct my responses to him.

    • Gosh Teri, I can totally relate to “eating” or “shopping” my emotions away. The struggle is real and I’m so thankful we have a God who showers us with new mercy every morning! Thanks for taking the time to read this and to comment. I sure appreciate it.
      May you be covered with kindness this week,
      Nicole

  35. Cathy Ledvina says:

    I really needed to read this today. Thanks for sharing your personal story. My father has been gone for 20 years, but I still think of the last time that he and my mom came to visit before he passed. He had a stroke about 5 years before and they were still living in the 2 story house my dad grew up in. I raised my voice and said it was time they move out of that “damn” house to make things easier for mom. It was getting harder for her to care for him and take care of such a big house by herself anymore. Anyway, my dad had a mild heart attack while they were with us, though we didn’t find out until he went home, not feeling well. I was able to apologize, but still felt that maybe my raised voice was the reason for the attack and, if I had just approached it more calmly, it might not have happened. I am sure that deep down, he felt so bad to not be able to help out anymore and, being a stubborn Irishmen (hence his stubborn daughter), he did not want to move from his family home. I still lament about this and continue to ask his and God’s forgiveness every time I think of that day. I pray for my parents (mom died 5 years later) every night and still talk to them. I ask them to pray for my own children who struggle with the same types of things now. I am too quick to speak and need to take the time to think it over before I open my mouth. It is a constant battle!

    • Hi Cathy- Thank you so much for sharing that story and your heart. I’m praying right now that God fills your heart with peace about the situation and allows you to vividly remember all the times you were their special, cherished daughter.
      Many blessings,
      Nicole

  36. Sally Ann Price says:

    Great devotional.

  37. Wow! so glad for the better ending, as we’ve all had conflict with parents. But this made me think how we’ve all done things we regret, like not talking with someone about Jesus and then they are gone. Lord please help us hold our tongues when we’re upset, and pray for the words when we need to talk, thanks for sharing.

    • I love that prayer, Lisa. I try so hard to listen to the Holy Spirit’s promptings on when to talk and when NOT to talk. It’s a tough call sometimes. I hope your life is touched with kindness this week. -Nicole

  38. Susan G. says:

    Thanks for your humble, honest story, Nicole…which of course reminds me of my response to my husband last week. After a couple of weeks stuck in our trailer because of a lot of pouring rain, while visiting our daughter, I woke up crabby too! I had had enough of the ‘bonding’ in the trailer with my husband, the rain, the humidity, and not being able to just jump in the shower and wash my hair every time I wanted to, and I acted like it was my husbands fault. I too want to stop and think about what I should be saying, and how my words could wound someone. I’ve been working at it, and I’m improving, some, but I need to ask the Lord to put a bigger guard on my mouth at times. 😉 I do know that the more time I spend with Him, the less I have to worry about my attitude.
    Bless you! And so glad your dad is doing well!

    • Susan, thanks for your comment. I ask God ALL THE TIME to put a guard on my mouth. Sometimes He does and sometimes He uses my quick temper to remind me of how much I need Him. Either way, He’s there and that’s beautiful. God bless! Nicole

  39. Personally I believe women should beef strong character, after all, the promises are real, unlike signing a contract to perform heavy metal music which glorifies the devil.

    As it is written,
    “But you—come here, you children of a sorceress,
    you offspring of adulterers and prostitutes!
    4 Who are you mocking?
    At whom do you sneer
    and stick out your tongue?
    Are you not a brood of rebels,
    the offspring of liars?”

    “Is it not because I have long been silent
    that you do not fear me?
    12 I will expose your righteousness and your works,
    and they will not benefit you.”

    Isaiah 57

    Our calling and duty in Christianity is to become our own “rockstars” to glorify the Lord in all manner of righteousness, power and with humility, not in drunken rivalries that produce no fruit.

    That is why we are all called out of the fallen babylonian system, even the churches who believe are preparing to leave and follow 25 million other believers who have already left America.

    Finding a suitable partner can be a daunting, depressive task, I know by my own fears, frustrations, however I can tell you this, demons are not your ally, not at all, the voice of discouragement, doubt, insincerity, lust, sinful behavior, no, no ladies, they absolutely want you to not follow the word and be trapped in sinful babylonian culture that our Lord called us out of, to not partake in their parties and slavery to a broken system.

    Chose wisely, my sister did. She is enjoying the fruit of her labor, free from antisemitism in Jerusalem.
    Her holy cross and prayer cards, she never leaves the house without Him.

    Sincerely,

    Prince Michael

  40. Thanks for the devo. I have been struggling with my own mother. She has given me the silent treatment now for 8 months over a conversation we had. I had shared some truthful things with her, but both our “decibals” were raised. I grew up with shame based parenting and even though I’m in my later 40’s, she still thinks it’s a parent/child relationship and she knows best. To make things worse, she shows obvious favoritism to my brother. I’m struggling with next steps. If I go to her, that is exactly the place she wants me in (then, she is right and I’m just a disrespectful child). It’s very difficult for her to admit her party in the division of our family since my Dad passed away. I read the boundaries book a few years back and me drawing the line in the sand made me look like a non compliant child to her. I’m really struggling. I told her in the past that I’m bothered by the silent treatment and she knows that, but I’m sure she feels that is just punishment for a daughter who calls her out in unfair treatment of her kids. Please pray for me. Thanks.

    • Jenny,
      I am praying for you right this moment. I wish there were cut-and-dried easy fool-proof solutions to tough problems in life. I pray that God holds you tightly, reminds you constantly that you are His cherished daughter and that the Holy Spirit will prompt you on the next steps to take. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

  41. I missed that too in Mark 11:11! Thank you for pointing it out with a powerful story that left a lump in my throat.

  42. This was a wonderful devotional. So very eye-opening as I had never realized Jesus delayed His actions as it dealt with the temple and the money-changers. Thank you for sharing this with us.

  43. I love receiving your devotionals each morning, however this week I have not received any devotionals at all. Please, please tell me these have not been discontinued. I look so forward to arriving a the office a little early and spending time in the word and reading your amazing inspirational devotoions. It is a great way to begin my day! Can someone please resume my e-mail devotions?

  44. I never saw that before – thank you for sharing that and your story!

  45. Im in a trying place but good place..Today is the first day I got up without the past on my shoulder. Now it’s about dwelling in the patience experiencing new people places relationships…Patiently enduring…Forgetting wh5ats behind looking ahead

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