His and Mine

His and Mine

February 12, 2016

"My beloved is mine and I am his; he browses among the lilies." Song of Solomon 2:16 (NIV)

Growing up, there were many Valentine’s Days I wished would have never happened. In elementary school, it was the year with the long walk home from school. My red paper-covered box, which contained no Valentine from my favorite crush, felt heavy for being so empty.

Maybe when I am a teenager my love life will get better, I hoped.

My hope was in vain. In fact, if I had known how my first Valentine’s Day in high school was going to play out, I would have just stayed home. Our student council decided Valentine’s Day was the perfect time to host a fundraiser. Students could purchase flowers to be delivered: yellow to your best friend, red to the one you love and white to the one you wanted to ask out.

First period — the predictable yellow carnation arrived with a note from my best friend. Not the color I was looking for. Second period — no flower. Third period — no flower. Is there any way I can get out early? I asked myself as my nemesis waltzed in, arms loaded with flowers.

By fourth period, I was begging for the day to end when in came the delivery girl. "Lynn Martin."


I sprinted to the front, grabbed the white flower and glided back to my seat. The base drum of my heart pounded through my blouse while my mind spun: Who could this be from? My eyes quickly scanned the note: "I’d like to ask you out. -Scott." Scott? As in a senior?

My excitement lasted only long enough for logic to set in. He’s a senior somebody; I’m a sophomore nobody. This has to be a joke, I told myself. Shoving the flower and note in my bag, I shoved down my broken heart too. I just hope nobody saw me was all I could think.

That was the year I began to ask a lot of questions, my heart crushed by my crush: Why doesn’t he ask me out? What does she have that I don’t? Why doesn’t he want me? Answering the question, What’s wrong with me? became my mission.

Whether it’s a memory from long ago or a pain as fresh as yesterday, we’ve all experienced rejection in one form or another. We’ve all wanted to be wanted — whether it was by a boy, a club, a friend or a group.

However, the truth is we’ve always been wanted and always belonged … to the Lord.

In other words, we belong to Love Himself. As Song of Solomon 2:16 tells us, "My beloved is mine and I am his …" Indeed, I am His.

While others have rejected us, He wholeheartedly accepts us. Let that soak in for just a moment. Say it out loud. I am His.

What we have longed for and still want today, we already have. Friend, we belong.

The truth that I didn’t have to search to belong, or struggle to find love and be loved, completely changed me.

Jesus, I am Yours. You are mine. Thank You for loving me and filling my heart with exactly what I have always wanted — to be wanted. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

1 John 4:16, "And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them." (NIV)

1 John 4:9, "God showed how much he loved us by sending his one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him." (NLT)

Lynn Cowell’s book, His Revolutionary Love: Jesus’ Radical Pursuit of You, teaches young women how Jesus’ unchanging love changes absolutely everything.

For a copy of "5 Love Verses Every One Should Know," visit Lynn’s blog today. You can also enter to win a copy of His Revolutionary Love: Jesus’ Radical Pursuit of You.

When have you felt rejected? How does knowing that Jesus fully accepts us help ease the pain?

We have all experienced times when we felt we didn’t belong. Ask Jesus to heal the hurt you felt and fill your heart with the acceptance you need and He gives.

© 2016 by Lynn Cowell. All rights reserved.

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  1. carolyn rogers says:

    Thank you for this wonderful and timely devotional. I’m sharing it with my girls. They still do the valentine’s flowers fundraisers at schools – in fact, both middle and high school this year are doing it. Ugh!

    • Thank you so much for sharing this with your girls, Carolyn. I’m afraid guys get rejected just as well!

      Honestly, I am really sorry to hear this, Carolyn. That has to be some other way to raise money that doesn’t open the door for hurt feelings.

  2. Wow…I can relate to your story from when I was younger too. Thank you for sharing your heart and encouraging me to remember that I am (and always have been) His too. :)

  3. Thank you for sharing this message. Many, including myself, need to be reminded that God’s love is the love that we need first and foremost. Now I’m curious though, did Scott really want to ask you out?

    • Latishia – nope. I guess that solidified in my heart, at that time, the feelings that I felt.

      The Lord did bring into my life an amazing man later, though! We’ve been married 28 years. :)

  4. These two scriptures are rocks to reassure every heart.

    Thank you for bringing them to each of us
    to heal the hurts that can linger from long ago.

    School can foster deep pain with something as giving flowers to friends.

    However when disappointment,envy
    misunderstanding overcrowd contentment and truth, only Jesus can bring healing .

    His Word is the truth.

  5. Love

  6. I have 3 beautiful daughters…none of them had high school boyfriends… I told them it was God’s protection that kept it so! Can anyone hurt you quiet the same as a high school boyfriend? They were kept safe! They are all married to fabulous men who cherish them. It helped them to know that God had a plan for their safety.

  7. Awesome and timely message for so many young and seasoned ladies.

  8. great message!! It has taken me two marriages, one serious”live-in” relationship & numerous “flings” to realize I am the woman at the well. You words are true, God has given use red, yellow & white roses throughout our life – & while it is no joke, we stuffed them away. He is so much bigger than the fools on earth. He knows the real us & loves us more than any person ever could. Where would we be without Him?!?!!?

  9. Hooray, for all writers @ P31 team!
    Your love for God and dedicated services to Jesus Christ is very inspiring and empowering!
    I on the other hand being the ugly duckling growing up in an orphanage knew better to expect anybody to any love related sentiments way, way back in orient about 58 years ago. Now after over 37 years of marriage to a beautiful man,former American Airman 1st from Missouri with three beautiful grown children (2 boys and a gorgeous daughter) know that there are somethings our husbands doesn’t have to give us no matter how much we torture them with all manner of women’s not very desirable traits(yes, even being a true hearted Christian as)So at growing older age asking God for forgiveness
    For troubling my husband instead of turning my needy head to Him. Started reading Stormie Omartian’s book recommended by Wendy who wrote the “fighting for your husband”?
    Wow, and more wow! Thank you. (
    I’m actually reading “The power of a praying women” now but so looking forward to read “The power of a praying wife” after this one. )

  10. I spent the better part of my 20s searching for love. I was so in love with the idea of love that the boy almost didn’t matter. It made me make some bad decisions. When I took a summer to began seeking the Lord again I soon felt forgiven and loved. Truly loved.

  11. My favorite verse is Philip 4:13 ” I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength”

  12. Great message-thank you for sharing.

  13. Lynn, thank you sharing this story. I still feel like I’m in high school some days (I don’t feel any older!), and this brought me back to that horrible, heartbreaking place of rejection and wanting to figure out what was wrong with me, and dreaming every night of being someone that somebody wanted. I used to pray endlessly that one of the guys I thought was cute would show me some attention. It brought tears to my eyes to read this because we did the flower thing, too, and every year was the same emptiness that taunted me with the notion that I was just not good enough, not pretty, and unlovable (except by my Mom). I know that’s not true now, but I can call up those emotions in a heartbeat. I’m so grateful to God for my husband, but more grateful that He loves me perfectly, and I could never do anything to earn it. He just loves me as I am. Thank you for this message.

    • Cheyenne – I am so sorry that my story brought back those emotions and feelings. They’re deep, aren’t they?

      I am so thankful for Christ’s healing, but sometimes it seems to take a lifetime to get there. Praise Jesus, we are getting there though! The enemy’s lies over our lives will be broken once and for all! WE ARE WANTED!

  14. Thank you for coming into my life. I was always told that I was loved by God, but it really did not sink in until one failed marriage and a few relationships. I am so blessed to finally feel his love for me everyday.

  15. This really tugged at my heart this morning! My 19yr old daughter is going through this difficulty right now. A recent break up with her boyfriend, coupled with close friends who have turned their back on her unexpectedly has been devastating. We have talked, cried, prayed and encouraged her. However, she wants to leave school and come home. She has so much hurt that she can’t see her beauty, her worth inside and out. Those feelings of not being good enough, not being liked, what’s wrong with me…..it’s so hard. It breaks my heart for her. We are praying for her strength and God’s direction in this circumstance. Pray for my daughter, sweet sisters. I am praying for guidance and wisdom from God daily.

    • Lord, you see the hurt – fresh and deep – in Ann’s daughter. You know how and when You can best minister Your healing to her, Jesus. Please give Ann and her family wisdom according to James 1 when it comes to her girl. Give her the strength, courage and compassion for this assignment. Soften her daughter’s heart to be able to receive perfect, unconditional, healing love from You, Jesus. Do what only You can. Amen

    • Praying!!!

  16. Good morning….thank you for this devo..it is a poignant one for so many & I as well appreciate you answering Latisha’s question too..did Scott ever ask you out…I love the devos’s…& the stories that are behind these devo’s….but when you guys do give us the stories…would you be kind enough to give us the as ” Paul Harvey” says the rest of the story..we your readers as we are reading getting invested in your stories that lead to the encouragement…..& sev times…you guys don’t finish…you leave us hanging..that is why I come to this devo & read….for sev reasons…the stories..the word..the encouragement..& the feedback from the other ladies…can you kindly pass that in to the variety of writers that you see & talk to on a daily basis..finish the story for us…don’t leave us hanging & wondering…thank you again for today’s devo…

    Have a blessed day guys……………Kathy wyg

    • I’ll share this with my friend, Kathy!

      I can tell you that for me, “the rest of the story” sometimes takes away from the point in the Word. I know that is probably frustrating for you as the reader, but our heart’s desire is to point to Jesus and not to ourselves.

      I can’t promise you that we’ll always share the way it ends, but I’ll come back here to the comments and be happy to share any answers you might have right here. :)

  17. Mustard seed says:

    I remember those days not too long ago. I hated Valentine’s day because the popular girls would get bouquets of flowers delivered to school and I never had hope of getting anything. I certainly don’t miss those days. Thank God I found my hubby and those days are over. It takes a lot of courage to be a teenager especially nowadays when your worth is measured by how popular you are.

  18. It was Alicia who wrote “How every wife can fight like a warrior for their husband”
    Correcting myself please.

  19. Great message! We all need to remember that God’s love will get us through everything. …and his lI’ve is the most important love. Remember to always love one another. …every single day!

  20. Great message! We all need to remember that God’s love will get us through everything. …and his love is the most important love. Remember to always love one another. …every single day!

  21. Wow, did we go to the same high school? Walking past girls with armfuls of flowers while mine were empty still stings a little today. Thank you for helping me to “see” things differently. It’s okay.

  22. Thank you for sharing today’s devotional. I am going through a bit of a rough spot with my husband. I have been struggling with my self worth and have been looking up scripture to help me get my focus back on who I am in Christ. Today’s reading was such a blessing to me. God’s timing is so perfect for He knew I needed today’s devotional. May you have a great God day full of many blessings.

  23. I loved the post. Still going through a rough spot since this time last year. I wish I could say I am mended but I don’t feel like I am even though I have prayed and asked for it to be so. Some days are better than others but this time of year has been difficult. Thanks for the reminder even when I can’t say I feel like I am truly loved by God.

  24. Karie Garner says:

    Great post and great story! I’m confused though, what happened to Scott? It was so exciting and not the ending I was expecting!

  25. This spoke to where I am right now as well. Thank you Melanie for sharing your struggle with your husband–that is whereI am. It strikes me that no one has written in saying they were the ones who DID rec. the flowers. Satan likes to isolate us in our pain & lonlieness, doesn’t he? We think we are the “only one” not pretty enough, made fun of, rejected, etc. I wish I had known then what I know now (ha, don’t we all?!), that I was not alone in those horrible feelings. Plenty of other girls were feeling the same way. And though I wasn’t a Christian in my school days, I am so thankful to God for protecting me during those years, as well! Thank You, Jesus, thank You Holy Spirit, for guiding & directing me, us, when we were so lost & for bringing us home! Amen.

    • Someone who cares says:

      Hi Jena. What you said stirred some memories in me. At times, I was the girl who received no flowers. I chose to be heartbroken because I received no flowers. At times, I was the girl who received one flower from a friend. I chose to be heartbroken because it was “only” one flower from a friend. At times, I was the girl who received a flower from the unpopular boy. I chose to be heartbroken because it was a flower from the unpopular boy. At times, I was the girl who received more than one flower from many boys. I chose to be heartbroken because none were my “soul mate”. It is all about my attitude. I did not know Jesus then. I am so grateful to have come to know Jesus, who has changed the way I think, and I can be happy in His love, regardless about how many flowers from whom. :)

  26. I’ve been struggling with this a lot lately. Reminders of pain from “friends” in high school, and more recently, from other friends. I keep reminding myself that Good loves me even when I don’t feel loved, but I still struggle with feeling alone. Thanks for the reminder today.

  27. It’s so sad that Valentine’s day puts pressure on so many people! I can completely relate to your story from when I was a girl too. If Valentine’s Day is the “Day of Love” then all way have to do is look to the One who MADE love – God. That’s what I am going to teach my children!

  28. This really hit home. My BF and I have been arguing a lot and I know that tonight things are coming to an end. We are suppose to meet for dinner to talk. I just know its going to happen because he already suggested that it was probably the best thing for the both of us. I have major baggage from past relationships I haven’t healed from and he’s been divorced for 2 in half years now and still is carrying a big load on his shoulder. Maybe we aren’t ready for a relationship – neither of us. I’m totally heart broken and so hurt and definitely not prepared for the days to come especially Valentine’s day.

    Please pray for me, and pray that God will overwhelm with His love and that He will give me a supernatural strength to get over this asap. Thank you all.

  29. Oh how I needed this today Lynn…at this moment I’m feeling so unwanted by the man that’s suppose to be the love of my life. Please Jesus, let me feel your love…

  30. Thank you Lynn….for responding to my comment….I was very surprised but actually quite excited…I do understand what you are saying about the word..Word..& you don’t want it to be about you guys..but for me..maybe not other readers…I feel God is working & talking thru your story even to the end of your guys’ story…I personally see him thru out them…speaking to us…so thank you for explaining…

    Have a blessed day & wknd…..Kathy wyg

  31. They are still doing the flower fundraiser at my kids school. I was a bit worried at how my middle school daughter would take it. She confided in me today, that she was upset she forgot her money because she wanted to buy me one and surprise me with it when I got home from work…..I was so concerned for her, after my own heartaches about never having receiving one….and she blessed me!

  32. Thank you so much for this! I feel rejected all the time. My situation is a little different and I’m learning and I pray everyday to crave the Lord before I crave anything else. I’m a single mom and this will be my 5th Valentines Day without a Valentine. I’ve grown a lot spiritually in the last 5 years so Valentines Day really isn’t an issue for me. It’s all the other days of the week. I’m busy working on my career so I don’t really have time for romance but I do want it once in awhile. I just keep praying that I crave the Lord and seek him first before anything else. I know when the time is right he’ll put someone in my life for my little one and I.

  33. His love is the greatest love of all…

    As I struggled to be “loved” and looked in all the wrong places, I came to understand God had nothing to do with my hurt and confusion. Those “feelings” are from satan – he uses them to keep us from God’s love.

    Confusion is not from God!!!

    Our feelings should be our indicators – not dictators!!!!!

    True love takes devotion, obedience and the investment of our time to establish a relationship and get to know His character.

    Our God is great, He is waiting for us to know and seek Him and experience Him and His love every moment, everyday of our life.

  34. Becky colburn says:

    Thank you for this word. My husband and I have been seperated for almost 2 months. While we are in counseling, most of my interactions with him have been hurtful and I leave them feeling intense rejection. This reading today reminds me that as a daughter of the most high God, I am never rejected, alone or anything other than beautiful to my Father. This gives me comfort, allows me to forgive my husband daily, put pride in the backseat where it belongs, breathe, and move forward. So timely for me as last night, the rejection was so raw….but this morning, a new day and a reminder of God’s perspective of me. Thank you!!

  35. Karen Pope says:

    Thank you for this encouragement! When I picture my Heavenly Father singing over me in love, I just smile all over!! His love in my life makes all the difference. Joy to you!! Thank you for your ministry.

  36. I need to be reminded of HIS love!! I’ve struggle from a lot of rejection!
    Thank you!!

  37. Answering the question, What’s wrong with me? became my mission.- THATS ME FOR SO MANY YEARS ON AND OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!

  38. I’m in!

  39. Thank you Lynn for sharing your story of how despair turned into hope. I have also struggled with feelings of rejection. I am currently dating a guy whom i feel treats me like an option rather than a priority. I am praying for a change in his character and hoping to still savage our relationship. While waitimg on him to change, i glad to even be reminded that i am embraced in the love of my maker. Please help me pray for a turnaround in my situation.
    Thank you!

  40. Thank you ❤️ For this. Yes He needs to be enough. Years of abuse, an raising two beautiful daughters on my own… Never feeling loved, except from my children , an only abuse from men… HE needs to be all I need. Lord break these chains, bring down the walls…

  41. I realize that we all have moments of hurt like this. But God in his great love allows us to have them for our growth and his plan is better than anyone else’s. So I too, had a yellow flower and no others. God is still God and his word does tell us we are loved. It is easier to look back than be in the moment but life doesn’t work that way. I have taught my daughter that life isn’t fair but God is and if we look to him, HE IS THE ANSWER to it all for HIS GLORY. Thank you for sharing, it took me back to another place and time, still yet we have HOPE.

  42. What a beautiful comment. I, too, was very shy in high school and didn’t date at all. I dated later in life and met my “prince in white shining armour” when I was 27. We knew instantly we were “soulmates”, married within a year and raised two wonderful sons in Arizona. God had us as part of his plan from the outset and we are still married 37 years later. It was our union that brought us back to God and we have strayed since. He is always in control!

  43. I was just thinking about this today- I’ve been going from relationship to relationship, looking for someone to save me from loneliness since I was rejected by all my crushes as a little girl. Even if today I have met many good men who are interested in me, I still feel like the ugly little girl who no one loves! I need to lean more on God and trust in Him.. only that can make my life truly fulfilling.
    Thanks for writing this article. Needed this message today <3

  44. Lynn,

    Senior or not how did you KNOW that he really didn’t want to ask you out??

  45. I was that girl..no flowers for me and because of it I struggled with my self worth. Not realizing I was so loved by God, my family, and true friends, I yearned for a boyfriend. Being shy didn’t help. I even got married to the wrong person because I didn’t want to be an old maid..at 25 lol. I am a divorced mom now and haven’t had a Valentine from a man in 15 years, but I am so happy. God has shown me his love, my kindergarten class showers me with cards and gifts, my family believes, loves and motivates me. Do I want to marry someday? sure, but God has shown me so much love that I am in love with and patiently wait on him to direct my life and send me a husband if he so chooses.

  46. I have been feeling rejection from my (now ex) spouse, my daughter and my friend. I have drawn closer to God over these past 8 months. He has carried me through this divorce and the choices my daughter has made. I needed this devotion tonight to remind myself I am His and he loves me.

  47. I fully understand that I am His but I’m having a hard time believing and accepting it because of ALL of the physical and emotional pain.

  48. I really needed this today. I know that Jesus loves us, but sometimes its hard to grasp and we need to hear it again and again. My marriage is going through a really tough time and my husband (who just started reading the bible and going to church) is being tempted so hard from satan. If there is anyone out there Please Please pray for my family.

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