I Have No Idea What I’m Doing

I Have No Idea What I’m Doing

August 24, 2015

"Such things were written in the Scriptures long ago to teach us. And the Scriptures give us hope and encouragement as we wait patiently for God’s promises to be fulfilled." Romans 15:4 (NLT)

When I was in my 20s, I wanted a mentor in the worst way. As an insecure wife and inexperienced mom, every day came with new struggles. Each challenge confirmed my ongoing mental monologue: I have no idea what I’m doing.

I needed someone a little older, wiser and confident to help me navigate some of these never-ending challenges. Someone I could call and ask, "How do you do this?" or "Have you ever experienced that?" without being judged.

Through the years God was faithful to bring wiser women who graciously agreed to mentor me. They shared valuable truths on how to manage a career, be a dedicated wife, the must-haves of mothering and most importantly … how to experience an authentic, personal relationship with the Lord.

They were living, breathing gifts from God sent to a gal who desperately needed real-life answers.

Over the last decade, I’ve paid it back by mentoring younger women in my own circle of influence. Some were searching for Mr. Happily-Ever-After. A few were transitioning from newlywed bliss to marriage-plus-career reality. And others needed sound advice on how to raise their kids without going crazy. Hmm … been there, done that.

In both seasons — being mentored and being a mentor — I’ve learned much from these women. They are smart, hard working, gracious and tenderhearted. And, they still need godly advice just like me.

If mentoring is valuable, why are so many women missing out on this wonderful experience?

What would happen if we embraced each season of life looking to mentor others with the same excitement and tenacity we’d expect from a women who agreed to mentor us?

Mentoring is not only for the young. It’s for each season of every woman’s life. Maybe you’ve been looking for a godly woman to come alongside you. Here are three things you can do while you wait:

1. Pray for your soon-to-be mentor. Even though you don’t know her yet, God does. She may be older and wiser, but that doesn’t mean she’s exempt from life’s challenges.

2. Be willing to mentor someone else. You’ve got gifts and talents. So why not use them by blessing a woman who’s also longing for a mentoring relationship.

3. Dig into Scripture and let women of the Bible mentor you. Their lives were fascinating and their challenges real!

Here are a few to study: Sarah, Rachel, Priscilla, Mary Magdalene, Ruth, Esther, Elizabeth, Anna, Susanna and Mary the mother of Jesus.

These women were smart, loyal and undeniably bold. They generously gave their time, talents and resources. Some even stepped into life-threatening situations, because of their faith and dedication to God.

I’m grateful these women and their mentoring moments were captured and encapsulated throughout the pages of Scripture for us.

Friend, regardless of your age or stage in life, mentoring is always available to you!

Lord, thank You for sharing these women of faith in Scripture, so I can be mentored through their stories. Help me reach out and be willing to mentor others. No matter what season of life I’m in, You will always be my ultimate Mentor. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Hebrews 13:7, "Remember your leaders who taught you the word of God. Think of all the good that has come from their lives, and follow the example of their faith." (NLT)

Titus 2:3-5, "Similarly, teach the older women to live in a way that honors God. They must not slander others or be heavy drinkers. Instead, they should teach others what is good. These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, to live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes, to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands. Then they will not bring shame on the word of God." (NLT)

Do you long to understand God’s Word, but aren’t sure where to start? Check out the First 5 Mobile App and get started today! It’s like having your own personal Bible mentor at the touch of a button.

Take your daily app teachings even deeper with The Book of Genesis Experience Guide. The Experience Guide is beautifully designed to complement each day’s teaching and grow your faith, as you reflect and respond on what you’re learning. Purchase yours today and receive a free, downloadable Experience Guide to use until yours arrives!

Connect with Leah DiPascal today as she shares thoughts about the First 5 Mobile App and how it’s completely changed her life.

Leah mentioned studying these great women of faith: Sarah, Rachel, Priscilla, Mary Magdalene, Ruth, Esther, Elizabeth, Anna, Susanna and Mary the mother of Jesus.

Select one woman from the above list and read her story in Scripture. Write down everything you learn about her actions, words, faith and connection with God.

© 2015 by Leah DiPascal. All rights reserved.

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  1. Thank you for this, I am in a stage of life where mentoring would be a blessing. Our life is very stressed and chaotic right now. We have a 7 yr old and a 23 yr old. Our oldest is a marine and will be deploying soon, and our youngest should be a marine. I have been so wrapped up with concern over my oldest, that my youngest is acting out to get mom’s attention. Even knowing this, it is so hard to focus on my day to day routine. I need to be “happy” mom and do all the special things with her, but my heart is breaking because I may be seeing my son for the last time. I am praying and trying to read, but my heart is overloaded.

    • Just a quick word of insight from a mom whose oldest and youngest children are 14 years apart. It isn’t just your attention the 7 year old seeks. She misses and worries about her older sibling.

      When our #1 child went to college, #4 son wailed, “You have to make him come home. I miss him too much.” It isn’t about putting on a happy face for your daughter; it’s about sharing the sadness–but also the pride in the fine young man he has become, the prayers for his well-being and the promise that the younger one will one day be a responsible adult too. It is never good to dwell on the worst that might happen. Share with your daughter the best that might happen as well.

  2. Lisa- I don’t know if you will see this, but thank you to your son for his service to our country. Thank you also, to your family for the sacrifice and separation. I am grateful to every service man and woman and their families who selflessly put the needs of so many others before their own. May God bless you and may He guard and protect your son.

  3. Titus 2 3-5 verse states alot of what I am not, I attempt daily to be a “godly woman” yet I read this and feel that I will never meet his expectations, I feel stuck in my faith, & wonder daily if I will ever be good enough for God? Somedays I feel so broken I’ll never be fixed, this blog encouraged me until I read that verse, I still have a lot to work on but I know with his grace & mercy I’ll get there, someday.

    • Kimberly,
      i know exactly how you feel…i make the attempt daily too! your comment about how you wonder daily if you will ever be good enough for God caught my eye…i am not good at quoting the bible nor am i good at putting my thoughts into words, but i felt i needed to tell you this, God loves you…period. i dont think being a godly woman means that we are “good enough” for God, i think it means that we are doing what we are doing, making the attempt daily! Just like a golfer will never be a perfect golfer, they still get out on the course and play golf to the best of their ability, and they have good days and not so good days…even the professionals!! I have this quote saved on my phone and its from Lysa Terkeurst, There’s this beautiful thing called imperfect progress…slow steps of progress wrapped in grace.

  4. Thank you for the reminder that there are “mentors” available in scripture. I’ve bee desiring some “fresh” stories to get acquainted with.

  5. Thank you for reminding me there are montors in the Bible. I’m so “broken” and I hope reading about them will encourage my daily life with Christ. I love the word but one thing I struggle with is “prayer”. Help me to breakthrough! Since it’s because the key to life.

  6. I mean the key to life!

  7. Lisa- I pray you see this post. As an Army mom of both sons serving, I truly understand. I have been through 8 deployments at this time. My biggest advice is Do Not Watch The News. It will only keep you stressed out, but please remember it’s usually 2 days later when the news comes out here. Also, when you talk to him only talk about happy things. Do your best not to let him know your worried. He has a dangerous job to do and cannot afford to worry about you worrying. If you ever need to talk message me on Facebook: Amanda Overstreet Marietta, Ga. Or email me at acoverstreet@yahoo.com. I’ll be praying for him and you

  8. I am not sure about much these days. I suffer from severe anxiety & depression for the last 14 years. I thought I had forgiven my husband for an online affair w an old girlfriend in the last year. I know God can use my depression (my thorn in the flesh) to help someone and I pray He takes it away but if not that’s OK but to help me learn how to live w it. I just ask for prayer I feel like a complete and utter failure in every role that I am. I want to let go of this emotional affair but a song triggers or the devil brings up what was said and he knows how to attack. I am so tired, I have insomnia. I don’t mean to complain I thank God daily for the blessings in my life. It just gets so heavy carrying this burden, I must give it to Jesus and stop worrying. Wish it was that simple!

    • I can understand dealing with anxiety and depression daily, although I haven’t been through that same situation I do understand the pain and the feeling of not living up to what we should be, giving all our cares and worries to Jesus and just letting them stay there is much harder than said. I will be praying for you!

    • Lynn, I am praying for you today. Considering the depth of your hurt and pain, I’m not sure full forgiveness is possible in your own strength. It requires the help of Jesus, the truth of His Word and the strength of His Holy Spirit operating through you – to forgive and be restored. Let Jesus carry this burden for you. You are not a failure. You are chosen, redeemed, cherished, appointed, anointed and loved by your Heavenly Father. He will never break the promises He’s made to you. He love for you will never fail.

    • I am 33 and have suffered from depression most of my life. My first husband also had numerous affairs and I understand the hurt you must feel. The one verse that encouraged me through all of the things I have been privileged to survive is this: “You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.” Psalm 56:8 (NLT) – It is a reminder for me that in the midst of my problems, God cares about me to the point of catching each moment, each tear, and that to do that He must be right there for me when they happen. God is there for you also and will always be. He hasn’t lifted my depression, as much as I wish He would some days, but he gives me comfort in the midst of it all.

  9. Amen! Our women’s Bible study was the women of the Bible…workbook and all. It was exhilarating to read and study about so many….including the Proverbs 31 woman. We learned so much and it took us 2 years. It has been difficult to find something to follow it. Bless your day…everyone

  10. I am going to ask someone today to be my mentor and find out about mentoring others. Thank-you for the reading today it really helped me, I can’t wait until bible study starts. Have a blessed day.

  11. Hi, Leah! I am so grateful for my pastor’s wife, who mentored and discipled me for years after my husband and I came to the Lord. I have a question. What is Susanna’s story? I recognized the other names, but when I looked for her story, I found this in Luke 3 with little other than a mention of her.

    “After this, Jesus traveled about from one town and village to another, proclaiming the good news of the kingdom of God. The Twelve were with him, and also some women who had been cured of evil spirits and diseases: Mary (called Magdalene) from whom seven demons had come out; Joanna the wife of Chuza, the manager of Herod’s household; SUSANNA; and many others. These women were helping to support them out of their own means.”
    ‭‭Luke‬ ‭8:1-3‬ ‭NIV‬‬

    Can you help me find out more about her?

    Thank you!

    • Her story isn’t in the KJV or NIV – look in a NRSV, Daniel 13.

    • There is no Susanna story in the OT; there is no Daniel 13, which is why it’s not in any other version of the bible… it’s considered apocryphal writing (so really only catholic bible)

    • Kim, although Scripture doesn’t give a lot of details about Susanna, we can glean some valuable insights about her through the few sentences in Luke 8. Christ healed Susanna physically and spiritually and her response was one of great gratitude and service. She followed Jesus and ministered to Him (along with the disciples). This would have been considered risky because the religious leaders were doing everything in their power to convict Jesus and have him put to death. I believe Susanna’s faith in God towered over her circumstances. She willingly placed herself in the heat of persecution, just to be with Jesus.

  12. Amen, I pray for the Lord to guide me in ‘mentoring’ as well as being ‘mentored’ with the love and encouragement we all need as we strive to become better in our roles as Godly wives, mothers, sisters, students, bosses, etc…thank you Leah for providing the biblical references that we know shown and proven their loyalty, dedication and faith we all strive to emulate. Peace and blessings to all.

  13. Pamela D Washington says:

    Lynn – Please allow God to heal you from the inside out. My husband and I both have had affairs and trust me it was not fun at all. I was going to church but not getting heal from all my pain. The church I am in now, my church family prayed with me but I ask God to take the hurt away because I was tried on the same old thing. It is hard but God is much easier and the plan he has for your life is much greater. God I pray that Lynn will release all the pain, hurt, that is in her life now so she can move on to greater things that you have for her so she can tell others about how you heal her and turn it around. Amen..

  14. Thank you!

  15. I am thankful that I have had many women step up in mentor me and my Christian walk … As i have poured myself out also…. I don’t think God intended for any of us to do this life alone we do need each other thank you for blessing us with this great devotional! Have a blessed day !

  16. It is very true that God will send workers(mentors) to complete His purposes in each of us.
    When He does, the result it transforming.
    It is very humbling when He gives us eyes to see and ears to hear what He has done for us.
    I look forward to revisiting each of these 10 women. Just like the women in my earthly life, some will be friends I came to know in earlier seasons of my life, some will be new.
    With Gods help, I will grow.

  17. Lisa- as a mother of a daughter in the Army deployed 3 time to war, my peace and joy only came from trusting God that He would protect her or be with me in whatever may happen. One thing I learned or became more aware of through these deployments is that when we or someone we love walks through the front door each day to work, to school, that may be the last time we see a loved one on this earth. I pray for you prior to your son leaving that your time will be spent in joy and gladness. Savor your time together. I pray after his deploymemt God’s unfathomable peace will overwhelm you.

  18. After recently moving down south from NY and getting my son & job settled, I have been praying for a local mentor.

    Praise God, last week I met someone who goes to my church and this week we spoke and she has offered to be my mentor and helper in times of needs.

    So great to have!! especially when you are a gifted “giver” and am in need of refreshing!

  19. Lynn, I am praying for you that God will give you His peace and take these burdens off you and bring godly people to be by your side. I have several family members with mental illness and I am on medication and seeing a counselor for depression. Help is coming your way, keep praying. I love you sister!

  20. Dear Women of God- “When life is heavy and hard to take, go off by yourself. Enter the silence, Bow in prayer. Dont ask questions: Wait for hope to appear. Dont run from trouble. Take it full-face. The “worst” is never the worst. Why? Because the Master wont ever walk out and fail to return. If he works severely, he also works tenderly. His stockpiles of loyal love are immense. He takes no pleasure in making life hard, in throwing roadblocks in the way: Stomping down hard on luckless prisoners, Refusing justice to victims in the court of High God, Tampering with evidence- the Master does not approve of such things. Lamentations 3:31-36. Oh, if you only knew how much He loves you and longs to help you. God is not against you. You are ALWAYS excepted in the Beloved. It doesn’t matter where you are at or what you have done or what’s been done to you in this life. Stop looking at yourself and start looking up. We change when we behold the beauty of His face, not the shabbiness of our own. Look at Him. Not the circumstances. Not your failures. When you look at Him and see His beauty, He will show you how beautiful you truly are in His eyes. He longs for you. But you have to see yourself like He sees you and you can’t do that when you are looking at yourself and all your failures and your circumstances. Jesus did the work. You are excepted by God the Father because of the sacrifice of Jesus. That is what makes you “good enough”. Now and always. Stop struggling!! That doesn’t mean be sloppy in your relationship with God. But if you love Him with all your heart, soul, mind and strength the struggle is over. And if you dont, the Good News about God is that He loves honesty and you can admit that you dont love Him like you should and ask Him to help you fall in love with Him. He wont be mad at you. That’s what He wants for you, too.

  21. Hi Lisa,

    Thank you for always encouraging us young women to always follow the path God has designed for us within in word. I, too am at a point where I am seeking the council of a more mature and spiritual woman that may provide advice on how to be a woman that maintains in her walk of faith in a world that is not so acceptable to these habits anymore. I have always been told to be equally yoked with whomever I was dating at the time and to always ensure that the man was a man of God. However, two years ago, I happened myself into a relationship with someone who was the exact opposite. I can not say that he was “EVIL” by any means but he was not brought up in the church or taught to believe in the word of God. Now, I knew that it was not my place to judge his rearing, as I understand that not many are fortunate to be brought up in the faith that we all share. However, I am returning to a place where I am seeking the council of God in all aspects of my life so now we clash. He does not understand nor believe in the principle behind tithing and does not understand what it means to have. He is a logical thinker, so to him, none of this makes sense as he needs proof to believe that Jesus and God exists rather than having faith in all things the way our belief orders us to do so. And quite frankly, I don’t know what to tell him. I don’t know what to say other than just to believe. I am the ONLY person in his life that tries to set a Godly example for him, he just does not have that type of family. So, I would guilty just leaving him knowing that I may be his only hope of coming to know God or attain salvation…but I am also considering how this will affect a marriage in the future. How do you continue to pray and love someone who does not share the same beliefs that you do simply because they have not been taught? Please help.

    • I am definitely no expert at this but…there is a scripture I believe Peter wrote, 1 Peter 3:1 In like manner, you married women, be submissive to your own husbands [subordinate yourselves as being secondary to and dependent on them, and adapt your selves to them], so that even if any do not obey he Word [of God], they may be won over not by discussion but by the [godly] lives of their wives.
      I understand that you’re not married yet but the rest of the chapter can still pertain to you, I encourage you to read that chapter, and pray pray pray, not only for him but that God has you in the right place. I stand beside your concern about being the only influence in his life and that is probably why God put you two together as long as you are doing the right thing (following God with all your heart) and praying for him daily that God will move in an incredible way in his life to the point he has no way of not believing than I believe you will see a miracle happen before your eyes! I will be praying for your situation! God bless you!

  22. Great article! We all need mentors. I think it can be easy to wait around, having the desire for a mentor, and feeling deprived without one. Your suggestions of prayer, being willing to mentor someone else and seeking wisdom from women in the Bible are exactly right. I might also add to be bold and ask someone if they would be willing to mentor you. If you know of someone who is godly and wise and has been through life a little longer than you, she might be the right person. She may be honored that you asked her! Thanks for a great article.

  23. It blessed me so much more than words to see Mary Magdalene in the women she suggested to study, I can relate to her so much! My past life was a mirror of hers, I wasn’t a full blown prostitute but in my quest for the dream come true man, I got tossed around and used numerous of times, I was stuck in the lie and trap that if I gave them what they wanted I would be “loved” I would find that dream come true man, living without knowing Jesus I got trapped into that downward spiral and even though at the time I didn’t know God or His Son, He already had some one great. More than my dream come true waiting for me! I only wish I wouldn’t have done and gone through all I had to get to that man but I also know we can’t change the past and shouldn’t say we wish things would have been different but unfortunately the past is still affecting my life very much today, and my absolutely sanctified and blessed marriage to my more than dream come true! I need some serious help and some serious unjudging mentors by my side, I have found a few in a Cafe like website where I am friends with many Christian women some much older than me that have been very helpful bless their hearts, I am a seriously broken lady but also like Mary with all the things I struggle with daily I want nothing more than to be at the feet of Jesus listening to His every Word, I would spend every second of my life like that if I could!

  24. Thank you for this encouraging devotion. I love Titus 2:3-5. Such a wonderful reminder of how God calls us to be a Christian women.

  25. Love this, but let’s get practical. What does mentoring look like? I had a young adult approach me about mentoring her, and we did meet together for about 6 months. But all along I wasn’t exactly sure about what to do. Do we study a book (We did read A Confident Heart by Renee Swope), do we study a book of the Bible? What do we do?
    It’s just like we tell our men that they are supposed to be the leaders of our home and they are criticized when they are not, but we don’t teach them how, don’t train them. We are left hanging wondering if we are doing the right things.
    So all that being said, I STILL HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I AM DOING! 🙂 (Not yelling to be ugly, just frustrated & for emphasis.)
    (Stepping off my soapbox now)

    • Hi Jana,
      Over the years of mentoring and being mentored, I’ve discovered that it’s not a cookie-cutter, one-size-fits-all experience.I believe mentoring should definitely include prayer, encouragement, support and God’s Word. If you’re mentoring someone in another state, you may not have the opportunity to meet together on a regular basis/ But you can talk over the phone, send encouraging notes or keep in touch via email. Decide what the expectations and desires are for you and that other person, then establish a plan that works best for both of you. Don’t be afraid to change things up when life’s interruptions come your way. Knowing someone else cares and is available when you need prayer or a word of advice goes a long way.

  26. I never thought about using the women of the Bible. I’ve always wanted a mentor but never had one. These women I can look to as I wait.

  27. Don’t forget Queen of Sheba. She set a pretty high standard for us. She was wealthy beyond words, yet knew there was a wisdom & a God that she needed and was willing to go to great lengths seeking them.

  28. So encouraged by this today. I have been really wanting a mentor to come alongside me for the past year or so and I was just talking to my husband about it this past week again. Still waiting for the right woman to come along but I am so excited to meet and learn from her when she does! I love the idea of being monitored by Women in Scripture. Thanks for these words!

  29. I am 56 yrs old have prayed for a mentor for year none yet. Glad your life worked out for you.

  30. Britnye Gurule says:

    I am 24, married to a wonderful man, and have been living in a small town for just over a year. My husband and I have struggled individually as well as together in regards to where we are supposed to go in life. Reading this article brought to light an option for guidance that I never really thought about. I have always wanted someone to help, someone to talk to and to help me figure out what the right decision is, but never really thought that person could be a mentor.

    I grew up going to church and then when I went to college fell out of the habit. I just never really found friends that encouraged it. Now we are trying to get into it and it’s hard to get started again and keep going without extra help and support. A mentor would be an amazing thing right about now. I am so emotional and don’t know what to do, and I am confusing my husband to the point of frustration.

    Please pray that we get involved and I can find a mentor in this tiny town willing to help me out and hold us accountable. Maybe even something of the sort for my husband.

  31. I cannot echo Leah’s words loudly enough. Mentorship and discipleship have been so beautiful in my own life. My mentor and adopted mom has been incredible inspiration in my life to Love God and love his people. Her consistent example to be faithful to the Lord even in the “messy” circumstances has given me strength to push through the grueling days of motherhood with three preschoolers. Though at times I feel I have little energy to offer to others, I have seen the Lord multiply my moments when I choose to mentor teen girls. It often requires less work rather than more if done creatively. For years I have included teens in our grocery shopping trip. It provides extra hands to help little ones through the parking lot, and many moments of drive time to talk about our Savior and the Truth His Word has to offer. They see what real life looks like “candy bar meltdowns” and all. But we are able to have amazing discussions in the midst of the everyday. I have found that the following the Titus 2 principle has blessed my life beyond measure.

  32. So needed this!! I too am needing a mentor to come along side me to help with this crazy season of life I’m in. Please pray for me!

  33. Along these lines of mentoring, women should check out “Working Women of the Bible” by Susan DiMickele. It is a great resource that offers mentoring examples of women in the Bible – if you don’t have your own mentor, Susan’s book devotes a chapter to Biblical examples for women (especially those who work). Many of her chapters cover the women in the Bible listed in this blog 🙂

  34. I would really like a copy of this book. Both my teenage daughter and I struggle with thoughts of rejection. I’d appreciate some input into helping us overcome these thoughts and feelings.

  35. Susan Shane says:

    Thank you for this devotional. I came from a messed up family situation, although not a poor one, many years ago where my only choices were to put up with it or run away. If I had had a mentor, maybe my life would have been different. I have tried and will continue to try to help women who come into my life with whatever advice I can offer to them.

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  44. Thank you!!! I really needed to read this; I’ve been praying for a mentor and I’ll wait until God puts them in my life. He’s faithful and knows exactly what I need.

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  46. Hi Leaha

    I struggle with depression and anxiety as a result of my past life. I was nothing like the woman in Proverbs 31. I believe I have an undiagnosed learning disability and was made fun of and put down most of my life. I gave up at a young age and lived a life of sin. About 10 years ago the Lord showed me how I was living and I repented. I am much better then I was but Because of my mental issues I struggled with receiving forgiveness and forgiving myself for horrible sins. I was hospitalized about 3 years ago and am still speaking the Lord but I get what I believe are spiritual attacks and every fall I get emotionally I’ll. I want to be like that woman of proverbs 31. I did receive the grace from The Lord to work hard but this emotional sickness causes me not to be who I should be. I have always lived with fear and I fear being far from Jesus because I am not being fruitful enough. I struggle to read the bible because I see all my defects. I have so far to go to be what I see as pleasing to the Lord and I wake up every day shaking. I used to work 2 jobs but I got sick again and now work just one. I do pray every day but I need to do more and learn to trust. I am already pretty old 52 this month. I pray it’s not too late for me. I am married and want to be a good mother and wife but am so exhausted from this fight I’ve been in for 10 years. I want to live a fruitful life for the Lord but am so tired right now. I am so sorry I did not live a Godly life my whole life. I love Jesus and want this pattern to stop. Thanks so much for reading my note. Dianne

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