If You Ever Feel Lonely, Read This

If You Ever Feel Lonely, Read This

December 16, 2014

“Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. The troubles of my heart are enlarged; bring me out of my distresses.” Psalm 25:16-17 (ESV)

Lysa TerKeurst

There were many feelings I expected to have at this conference I’d been looking forward to attending. Acceptance. Fun. Camaraderie.

On paper, these were my people.

They lead organizations. I lead an organization. They are vulnerable. I am vulnerable. Like me, they know the stresses of deadlines, trying to balance kids with ministry, and the nagging sense that we should keep hidden the fact that we have the pizza delivery place on speed dial.

Yes, these will for sure be my people.

And the great thing about gathering with people you just know you’re going to bond with is that they will get you. Really get you … like on the level of having inside jokes that makes every conversation comfortable and delightful.

I couldn’t wait to be with these people.

And I couldn’t wait for the deep friendships that would surely bloom as a result of our time together.

I walked into the meeting room and quickly located the table of the people I was excited to meet. Every seat had a nametag attached so I circled the table looking for mine. As I got to the last chair and realized my name wasn’t there, I got a sinking feeling.

I milled around the room looking for my name, feeling increasingly out of place. Finally, at a table on the opposite side of the room, I found my name. I rallied in my heart that the Lord must have a special plan for me to meet and connect with the others assigned to my table. I took my seat and pulled out my cell phone as I nervously waited for my tablemates.

I waited.

And waited.

And waited.

As the prayer for the meal concluded and the event got underway it became painfully apparent to me that the others assigned to my table weren’t able to come for some reason. So, I’d be seated alone. Very alone.

In reality, I don’t think anyone else really noticed my predicament. After all by this time everyone in the room was busy passing rolls and salad dressing options.

In my head I started to have a little pity conversation: Well self, would you like a roll? Or ten perhaps? It’s certainly an option when you’re sitting single at a table for ten.

And that’s when a very clear sentence popped into my head, “You aren’t set aside, Lysa. You are set apart.” It wasn’t audible. And it wasn’t my own thought. I knew it was a thought assigned by God that I needed to ponder.

To be set aside is to be rejected.

That’s exactly what the enemy would have wanted me to feel. If he could get me to feel this, then I’d become completely self-absorbed in my own insecurity and miss whatever reason God had for me to be at this event.

To be set apart is to be given an assignment that requires preparation.

That’s what I believe God wanted me to see. If He could get me to see this, I’d be able to embrace the lesson of this situation.

Have you ever been in this place? Maybe you’re there this Christmas season. It’s tough when everything around you screams “merry” while you’re aching with loneliness and feel anything but.

I wasn’t just in this place at the dinner that night. I’ve been in whole seasons of my life where, though I had people around, I felt quite alone in my calling.

Can I give you three thoughts that might encourage you today?

1. Look for the gift of being humbled.

Proverbs 11:2b reminds us that “with humility comes wisdom” (NIV). In this set apart place, God will give you special wisdom you’ll need for the assignment ahead.

2. Look for the gift of being lonely.

This will develop in you a deeper sense of compassion for your fellow travelers. You better believe when I walk into a conference now I look for someone sitting alone and make sure they know someone noticed them.

3. Look for the gift of silence.

Had I been surrounded by the voices of those people I was so eager to meet that night, I would have surely missed the voice of God. I’m trying to weave more silence into the rhythm of my life now so I can whisper, “God what might You want to say to me right now? I’m listening.”

I know it can be painful to be alone. And I know the thoughts of being set aside are loud and overwhelmingly tempting to believe in the hollows of feeling unnoticed and uninvited.

But as you pray through your feelings, see if maybe your situation has more to do with you being prepared than you being overlooked.

There is something wonderfully sacred that happens when a girl chooses to look past being set aside to see God’s call for her to be set apart.

Dear Lord, help me see the gifts hidden in this season of loneliness. I’m believing today that I’m set apart, not set aside. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

John 15:16a, “You didn’t choose me. I chose you.” (NLT)

A Note From Lysa:

Many of us girls struggle with the feelings I described in this devotion. That’s why it’s crucial we keep God’s perspective and promises front and center in our lives. Will you consider helping us continue to do this each day by making a year-end donation to Proverbs 31 Ministries? My heart is committed to making these resources available at no charge to the millions of readers God has entrusted to us. But I can’t financially do this alone. Thank you for standing with me, praying for my team, and helping us meet our year-end financial needs. Please click here to donate.

Think about your current struggle with loneliness and the three encouragements Lysa listed. Then, choose to look for one of those gifts in your situation.

Lysa TerKeurstClick here to pin the imageClick here to download this free printable PDF

© 2014 by Lysa TerKeurst. All rights reserved.

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  1. Cynthia Nagel says:

    Thank you so much for sharing this. Most people think I am happy and fine, but in truth, this Christmas I have been overwhelmed with loneliness and sadness in a way I have never known. Being overextended with unappreciated volunteering, self-employed, and wondering why I am still single at 50 years old, it is just not the December I was planning this year. When every prayer, message, and sermon repeats “just look to Jesus” or “find the true joy of Christmas”, I keep thinking “I AM REALLY TRYING”! Your thoughts are a help, and maybe a way to redirect. Thank you for your devotional thoughts!

    • Hey, that sounds like me!
      I hope your Christmas gets better. This can be such a hard time, but our hope is in Christ! I cling to:
      Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)
      11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

    • I soooooo understand every word you said! I have been trying too but I find this practical mind set and scripture well….enlightening! I am not 50 but 43 and still single. I would not mind a mate but even more so just companionship even of girlfriends but everyone is too busy. I have had many pity parties and know it is wrong but didn’t know how to lift out. What scripture went with it. Let us pray for each other and have a new insight on our future purpose with Christ! Hugs!

      • I hear you sister! Let’s pray for each other. God bless! – Tina

        • Sandra Jordan says:

          A lone in life dont have no one who cares about me or understand my hurt ive tried to be likeable to other always result in rejection its feel like im no apart of nothing im a christan women who wants to live a godly life just cant seem to understand this type of lonelness i pray to god to bring good people in my life and after 7 years of divorce being alone with no one to be apart of my life

        • Sandra Jordan says:

          Searching a good christan man

          • ALBERTO DAMIAN says:

            I am looking for a devoted christian female that it will lead into marriage,

          • ALBERTO DAMIAN says:

            I am looking for a christian female too my contact is ahernandez201123@hotmail.com and I am a divorced with 3 boys 12, 13 and 16 years old taking care of them by myself, my ex wife of 17 years left me and divorced me for over a year now, I am looking for a female to go into marriage, I am a 52 years old and working as a Process Engineer in the state of Minnesota.

      • ALBERTO DAMIAN says:

        I am here waiting for somebody, I am a devoted Jesus christ worshiper, and divorced for over a year with 3 boys that I am taking care by myself, and they are 12, 13 and 16 years old of age, please reply to me and I will be glad to answer back. I am a 52 year old man and i am a Process Engineer working for a huge company here in Minnesota Please reply to me if you still available to meet some body humble like me and ready for a serious relationship into marriage,

    • Hi,
      Thank you for reaching out! Hopefully this will reach you two years later…to let you know I am sympathetic. I have my own home business and have been unappreciated by a boyfriend of six years that conveniently set me aside for infrequent dates until I just told him I cannot do this anymore. I felt alone in the relationship and now alone out of the relationship. Some days I never leave the house. I guess I feel ashamed. However, I remember that I am a child of God as you are too.
      With God’s blessings.

      • Mitch Love says:

        I am now finally tired of living with let downs. Not being happy and not living for God. I’ve always gone to church and prayed but I’ve never surrendered to God fully but now it’s time. If there is anyone that could help with this please let me know

        • Hey there,

          In my life with a stubborn heart, I’ve learned that the main times I surrender to God are when I’m broken down, and that’s because He shed all the distractions and showed me how much I really, fully need Him. Now, I’m learning that without faith, there is no relationship. Following His direction when it seems totally against my understanding or feelings is really hard and still challenging. But I think that’s one huge step toward surrendering to God. Prayers for you!

        • I’m going through the same thing,knowing God but not surrending to God,I want to be happy and the only way happiness comes is from within,turning our will and emotions over to God.I’m tired I’ve been hurt,disappointed time and time again,when I look back I’ve hurt others and disappointed others too.Im married my husband has betrayed me cheated on me time and time again,I keel going knowing that we aren’t alone God is forever present with us.He’s a friend that sticks closer than a brother we don’t have all the knowledge of God but we do know he is in control let’s surrender and trust him

        • Nadine Wilkinson says:

          That is awesome and I praise the Lord for that.
          I just had not long ago the powerful change of committing my life completely to the lord as he opened my eyes through the move war room which ist about the power of prayer.
          The lords want our heart and a personal relationship which us…..that’s so beautiful.
          If we seek him with all of our heart in prayer,reading his word and listening to his voice he will reveal him self to us and give us wisdom and guide us to obey his will.
          He will show us what his heart is and change our heart ……so that everyone will see christ in us.It gives him glory when we live set apart and tell others about him and people might accepted christ as there lord.
          The lord has even patient and merciful with and did not forsake me.He grows and teaches me every day step by step in love forgiveness and grace.
          I know with all of my heart he can and will do the same for you if you just seek him.
          I pray that the lord keeps this strong desire for him in your heard and guide you with his holy spirit.

          • Sharon Huber says:

            Thank you for sharing your strength and weaknesses.. To me that shows true strength.. I admire your transparency…

            Peace and Blessings

        • Nadine Wilkinson says:

          Philippians 1:6
          Being confirmed of this, that he who has began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of christ Jesus.

      • I just typed into Google God are you there I am so lonely and depressed. My husband of 20 years left me and my two teenage kids 3 years ago with no reason other than he just didn’t love me anymore. Both of my kids are now in college and so I have the empty nest syndrome along with tons of bills and sometimes the loneliness seems so overwhelming. I do continue to pray…

        • I have been there. I am still there in some ways, I lost my mom and one grandchild while going through empty nest and my husband of 25 years leaving me, watching him build a life with someone else with our money. Kids are too busy and think Mom has it all together while I struggle to survive. Disconnected from both sides of my family, oh I do understand the loneliness.Continue to pray and ask God to send new people in your life, it wont be exactly the same, but it does get better

          • I t breaks my heart to hear so many hurt lonely and continually struggling with pain. I know this site seems to be for women, but I am hurting too and feel compelled to respond. I have been married for 26 years and love my wife with all my heart. I am no saint; I have had my shortcomings but remained faithful and tried to be loving most of the time. For three months it has become apoarent that my wife no longer loves me. I am not giving up, but it is painful and lonely. I am desparate every day. I pray every day crying for help. I have been a Christian our entire marriage; although I led a sinful life prior. Though decades later, it may be a cause. I accept my consequences, but it still hurts. I feel for you who have had husbands leave or are single. I wish I could give all of you great big hugs. I am full of love to give and compassion. My heart aches for you and pray that God heals you and delivers ypu from loneliness.

        • I’ll keep you in my prayers. God bless! – Tina

        • Hang in there. Prayer is the key!

      • I will pray for your situation alongside prayers for my own peace with the same kind of story! 🙁 one day we will all be with Christ but until then I think we face struggles simply because we are still here in a fallen world.

    • I can so relate to your words even two years after it was first written. Sometimes I feel so alone and even more alone in the fact that it seems like out of everyone around me, I’m the only one who feels alone. At times, it’s hard to believe in the lord’s plans for my life and his purpose that has me where I am. I loved this devotional though. Hopefully we can find solace in the fact that by some expert chance we are being set apart for a reason greater than our knowledge. Lots of love and prayers to you ladies. If you ever feel alone, just know that I am with ya.

      • I so needed this article thus morning. I didn’t realize so many share this same struggle. Our family seems to move around frequently. I’ve been to 6 different states in 17 years. With each move, I experience new surroundings, new people, new church, new everything. It seems like an eternity getting to know people and becoming adjusted. I always seem to think when I get to church I’ll meet others and share a bond between other Christian women. I find in the beginning, everyone is interested in you and your family but it soon wanes. Now, I’ve been in this church for over a year and find I only know a handful of people, even though I make a strong effort to know others.( I will tell you our church is 30 minutes away which makes it difficult to get together or be apart of something.) But this happens in every church I’m in. Nevertheless, it’s the same thing every Sunday, the service is over and the hum of loud conversations takes over the room. Then it’s time for coffee and more fellowship. I speak with a few ladies, the same ones, wander around the room searching for another group and feeling very isolated while watching smiling faces, hearing laughter, and having the same conversations as the Sunday before. This church isn’t big, maybe 150 members. I’ve been here a year and a half and still haven’t been recognized by the elders wives, maybe a couple of hellos then head off to their comfort zone. I try, I really, really do! Often I go home thinking what could I do different? Is there something wrong with me? Why don’t they like me? Maybe I’m being too intense… But judging by everyone else, I don’t think so. I often find I feel more lonely at church then I do outside of it. Does anyone else have these feelings?

        • Hi,

          Definitely yes!! I am st a church whereby there is not a great opportunity for socialising. Even though I am polite and try to be friendly I don’t really feel a connection with the other members. It’s very isolating sometimes and I struggle to stay there.

          For some reason I think God may want me to stay there. I’m in my early fourties; not married serious crappy relationships and virtually no family. I have a few friends but they are often busy with their own lives and families.

          It’s tough going through a season of loneliness if I did not have my faith I’m sure I would be swinging offf the chandeliers !!

      • Hannah, I know how you feel. I’ve spent years feeling lonely and it just seems like other people connect well at church when I don’t. It was so awful. We do need our sisters in Christ and need to break down the lies the enemy tells us. Primarily, I believe he tells us we are all alone and the only one suffering in this way. That keeps us isolated and the loneliness continues. I’d like to invite any of you ladies to join a facebook group for Christian ladies who struggle with these feelings (I’m one of them!) so we can connect in friendship and encouragement in Jesus: http://www.facebook.com/groups/livinglovedinchrist

        • Victoria says:

          I have the same problem. All my family is dead and my beloved fiance passed away suddenly over 2 years ago. I retired after his death and then kept offering to serve at my church in any capacity (even cleaning toilets) just so I could be around other Christians and not sit at home and have a pity party. I’ve learned that most of the people in my church belong to 3 families (one even used the fellowship hall for their family’s Thanksgiving dinner because they had over 60 family members coming to dinner!) No wonder they couldn’t possibly understand what it is like to literally be all alone. As long as their family is there, they see no need to reach out beyond a superficial hello to anyone else. As the author wrote, you can bet that I always look for someone who seems to be left out. I’ve been at the church for over 25 years but a lot of members have left because the focus is all on the youth now. We used to have over 700 people in the pews on Sundays, now it is less than 150. Mostly because other people got fed up with being ignored if they were over 25. I have hung in there, but have finally made the painful decision that I must leave my church and look for another. I have lived alone all my life since I was 17 (except for a brief marriage in my twenties). I’m OK with being alone, but not OK with loneliness. My fiance was the most God fearing man I’ve ever met. He was a quadriplegic and lived over 500 miles away. We couldn’t marry because he would lose all his benefits and I didn’t have the salary to make up the cost of $10,000 a month for his care. So I burned up the road between his state and mine for 12 years. Those were the happiest years of my life. Then just when I thought I could afford to retire and move to his state, he passed away. They say to have a friend you must be a friend. I reach out to people (had 12 dinner parties in December inviting people from church, hoping someone would be interested in an ongoing friendship, not just a free meal.) I have started to think that God purposely has me alone right now because He wants to do a work in me to prepare me for the big job He has in store for me to do. (Have no clue what that is.) I do know that 20 years ago He told me to “go to the throne, not the phone” when I needed help. I have to believe there is a reason for all the tragedies I have endured in my life. They say what doesn’t break you, makes you stronger and I’ve often been told I’m the strongest person people know. I know some people become bitter, but I am determined to be better not bitter. Don’t know why this loneliness is happening, but I am going to trust God that He has a reason to allow it. I requested to join the above group. If I can’t find friends in town, then I can online. In fact that is how I met my fiance 14 years ago. I typed in “Christian pen pals” never dreaming I would meet the man of my dreams. I’m fine with remaining single, but I don’t like being lonely. Thanks for letting me share. I don’t feel as alone right now. This article was a blessing!

        • Sharon Proctor says:

          Hi. How do I join Loving in Christ? I have read so many from Christian women who feel like I do.
          Thank you for responding. Blessings

    • I am so alone it hurts. I hate it. I’m losing hope and pray just to pass away.

      • Ruth De Jesus says:

        I am praying for you Mary. Don’t loose hope hold on to God’s promises. God’s Word provides hope and strength. Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord Plans to prosper you and not to harm you Plans to give you hope and a future. You are not alone; God is there with you. You have God so you have purpose! You may feel you are facing an impossible situation, but the bible says , “God is able to do far more than we would ever dare to ask or even dream of – infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires thoughts , or hopes Ephesians 3:20. God says “I have carried you since you were born; I have taken care of you from your birth. Even when you are old, I will be the same. Even when your hair has turned gray, I will take care of you. I made you and will take care of you” Isaiah 46:3. The Lord hears your cry.. Psalms 34:17 The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. Stay in prayer; stay in the word. God is working in your life for His purposes so never think He’s far because His holy presence goes before you.
        Lord Almighty I come into your presence whole heartily. Asking Lord for healing and strength in Mary’s heart, mind, thoughts, feelings, and emotions. I pray for your Divine strength in her body, soul, and spirit. Lord pure your wisdom, understanding and knowledge in her heart and mind. Holy Spirit flood and fill the atmosphere with your presence. Jesus, I pray that Mary feels your warmth and your presence where ever she may be. Jesus comfort her; fill her with your love, peace, joy and your assurance that your there and that she is never alone. Lord, Father help her and bless her today, tomorrow and her future. I pray Father that you answer the petitions and desires of her heart. It says in your word Father that if we pray according to your will believing we shall receive. Father, keep her close to your heart help her and bless her in all areas of her life. I pray in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen. I love you Jesus. Thank you Lord for you are faithful.

        • Wesley Artrip says:

          I have gotten thru a long life believing what you said..Yet, now when my best years are gone, how do I understand god’s plan when i’ve been alone so long..I’ve gave , inspired, prayed, and yet been alone.. a “afterlife’ of bliss does not make up for this one..if you can’t relate.. words. won’t patch..I feel cheated and yet i still believe

          • These posts are letting me know I’m not alone. I struggle on the weekends with being alone especially. I am 61 and divorced for over 20 years, I took care of both my parents and raised my son (who is married and both are believers) and God has blessed me with a job I can work remotely and live near them. But I don’t see them that often and have a good church but most are married and the ones that are my age don’t want to hike 4 miles or do anything that active. I feel like a hermit and keep busy and praising God when I get down , but the loneliness gets so difficult and I keep asking for “why” “what for” , I keep looking up and pray for a path or a use for my singleness!! God bless all who are on this chain!

          • I also feel cheated by God for not helping me on time in times I’ve needed him.

          • I feel cheated too. I had so much love to give and no one to share it with.

        • Ruth dear…what a blessing to lift another in such powerful words of prayer. I know God has heard and is blessing Mary. I pray for you too Ruth that God will reach out and fill you in your inner most fears..give you courage..strengt..comfort and abundant love to bask in His Awesome Goodness. With love..

        • Carol Washington says:

          My dad passed 3 years ago. Im am the only child and the sole provider for ky mom and I. I am always lonely it seems. I was in a relationship with my best friend of 17 years abd hwle broke my heart. I got through it and tgen he comes back. He still has me feeling lonely because he is trying to have his cake and eat it too. Im just feeling so set aside when I know God has better things for me. At this time of year is always hard for me . My dad died on his birthday New Years Eve of 2013. I always want to have Lovw during time but never do. I àskes myself am I going to be an ols mais. Im 48,never bwen married,no kids,not an ogre of a woman and still no one to Love me for just being me. So loneliness hits all of us and this season makes it no better. I just want to experience a wonderful Love relationship ans express what I know is within me with that someone special. Just pray for me please. Thank You.

          • ALBERTO DAMIAN says:

            I am a divorced christian feared and worshiper of our lord almighty Jesus christ our savior , I have been divorced for over a year ow and I am taking care of 3 boys of age 12, 13 , and 16 years old by myself, my wife of 17 years divorced me and left me with my 3 boys, I have a lot of love to give, and I am looking for a relationship with a christian female that it will lead into marriage please contact me to ahernandez 201123@hotmail.com, I m a process Engineer working a the State of minnesota.

        • your words are nice but it does not take away 5 years of loneliness. my husband left and my entire family died, i don’t think anyone sees me anymore. i am sixty and alone without children or the touch of a man. life is not worth living in perpetual sadness and trying to be perky on the outside. i need to break this cycle somehow.

          • ALBERTO DAMIAN says:

            Please reply to me at ahernandez201123@hotmail.com I am a divorced with 3 boys 12. 13 and 16 years old that I am taking care by myself, My wife of 17 years left me and divorced me, and I have been divorced over a year now, I am looking a feared christian female ready to go into marriage, I am a Jesus christ our saviour worshiper , I believe that Jesus have a purpose for me and any one out there, please reach to me any one interested to get into serious relationship with me , I need a wife to love and be love, so much love to give,

      • Hi Mary, I’m sending you a BIG, cuddly hug. Don’t lose hope! This sadness is NOT permanent.

      • Mary I just cried for you and prayed that your life turns around. And that you will soon want to live again.

      • Pamela Johnson says:

        Hi Mary,your out cry touched my heart. These are times when perhaps you may need someone to hear and listen to you. If you like please feel free to contact me via email.
        God Bless and I will be praying with you and for you.

    • Beloved, I can’t say I understand how you feel, but I know one thing for sure – God knows. God hears your prayers, the spoken and unspoken ones. God sees your tears, those shed and those in your heart. And every time your heart aches, Jesus’ hearts aches together with you. You are important to Him. Precious like a rare treasure. He loves you beyond your wildest imagination.

    • hi am a single dad, i really need friends, we have a lot to talk about , you can contact me on my email ledbetterwilliam20@gmail.com or Facebook Nathan MacDonald

    • Thank you so much for your encouragement

    • Guy go through it too says:

      Thank you so much. I was beginning to feel like I was the only person in the world that goes through this. Even sometimes I am in church, and it seems like no one will even say hi. I have always felt like this in church sometimes I feel as if I should stop going, it’s not like anyone would care, or miss me, they don’t even know me or are trying to get to know me. I speak, they nod or wave, it’s so disheartening, even on my old church some barely spoke, but I had my few I spoke, but now that I have moved away, no one barely says hi on fb, or call or text. I have come to the decision no one wants to be bothered. So most of my time I spend alone. I often use to wonder, would anyone miss me. Then I read Proverbs 31, thankle you for sharing..

      • I have been trying to get myself to go to church for many years. I go two or three times in a row and then I simply can’t do it again for a long time. It is so depressing because I love God so much and want to be obedient to his Word in not forsaking the brethren. I even pray intensely for the people at church.
        It’s bad enough to feel alone but it’s even worse than that in this very small town that I live in. Some of the people in this church actually give you the feeling that they actually don’t want you to come. The pastor who is new just today asked the congregation to consider his request for resignation because the people have upset with him. it seems that others in town have been telling him that they don’t want to go there for the same reason I mentioned and because of the gossip.
        I just want fellowship with God and the people of God but it appears that if I want to find His people, I will have to look elsewhere.

    • I can understand. My heart’s desire has always be to be married and have a family. Three years after I graduated college I decided that would be the perfect time. I was ready for the Lord to bring me the husband that he had for me. I was 28 and just knew that the Lord would fulfill my hearts desire. I am now 63 with 39 year career. Still no husband and the children that I desired to have, love and raise will sadly never be mine. I just came from a funeral of a friend and to see his Christian family has once again brought to me the loneliness that I experience every day. I am a girl that the old suitors still regard as a friend, attractive and fun loving and I still desire a family. I have no immediate family and my friends all have their children and extended families to enjoy and no room to extend to another. I’ve read all the pat answers of what you’re to do, but that is not a solution. How is it possible to pray and believe God for 35 years and still have a broken and empty heart because you have no one to share life with? No one that, I feel, really cares about me?

      • Allyson Otoo says:

        Ms Annie

        I feel for you so much. I hear your heart and your pain. For me its twenty years single and celibate waiting on the Lord. Thinking I am doing the right thing by God and not even going out on dates. I think I am a joke to most men I have met. The mad celibate lady. At first they are very interested, they find me fascinating and think I must be desperate or easy and when it becomes clear I am neither and serious about waiting until marriage they vanish so fast I think I must have been talking to myself.

        My heart is breaking today as I held a baby for a friend while at work, after that a pregnant lady came in to buy something, then a husband holding his baby in his arms. Then a couple came in with a young baby looking around. The pain of being alone, what I have been trying to convince myself I no longer want came back. I have to be honest I don’t know what to do with the pain and there are no answers. We tell ourselves we are attractive, blessed, God loves us and will never leave us or forsake us. I know of no other kind of pain and until someone is their they will never understand.

        My love you are a overcomer. I don’t know how you have made it this far with the years you have waited on the Lord but I am convinced you will hear “Well done my good and faithful servant. I pray the Lord to take this pain from you and most importantly surprise you with the joy and laughter of companionship and love. Someone to give you a hug and hold your hand. I know I miss physical contact so I pray that for you. God bless you

      • Annie, I’m so sorry you are feeling so alone. Do you have any sisters in Christ that you can rely on or feel included with? I’m young, but felt very alone for most of my life, to the point at times wanting to die. I’m reaching out to other ladies that could use encouragement. I want to invite you to our group. If you click my name above this comment, it will take you to the facebook group, “Living Loved in Christ – Women’s Group”.

  2. How do you know if that’s the case, that you are being set apart? Is it humble to believe that? I know I’m being set aside by what I thought was family, and it hurts, but I also believe I’m doing the right thing. Yet I have so much doubt and I don’t want to think so much of myself that I then believe God is setting them aside because they no longer care what He wants even though that obviously seems to be the case (that they don’t care what He wants).

    • terri renfrew says:

      My thoughts are that most everyone at that event was too in leadership and needed something that was being taught…this was her particular lesson…for this particular time…

    • Kellie,
      I feel left out by my family as well. It can be painful! What I have learned is to lean on and trust God. What I have found is that I can go and talk with God about all of it. He cares so much. He replaces worries with his peace. The trials and struggles are met with his strength. And do you know what I have left? Mercy and love for them. I have found that I need forgiveness as well. It is hard to do life with people. I hope this helps. Stay with HIM* He will lead you into all truth. Psalms 27:10 Even if my father and mother abandon me, the LORD will hold me close.

      • Courtney,
        Thank you so much, that particular Psalm hit’s home, amazing the verses that are in the Bible that speak to our exact situation, really amazing. I know I definitely need forgiveness, I tell God I want to love them like He does but I also tell Him how I’m currently feeling, (He knows anyway!). Your reply and the Psalm broke me, I really needed to hear that, thank you for caring enough to listen to Him and share it with me.

      • Gina Cappello says:

        I, too, feel the ever-present pain of loneliness and feel entirely on my own.

        • @Gina I’m with you sister. When I feel lonely I pray and ask God to comfort me cause, I know he’s preparing me for something bigger then me..

        • I too feel alone; been divorced for 12 yrs and praying we all get through this and I know God has something in store for me; I want to meet a Godly man; but sometimes I can’t accept it if God chooses to keep me single.

  3. christine sutton says:

    As nice as it is to be surrounded by people we can connect with our purpose here on earth is to become very bonded and connected to our Lord and Saviour. You see it talks about the loneliness in Hell and how we fir eternity never get to connect with anyone and suffer tremendous horrific misery. It is critically important that we learn to solely depend our Lord and Grow very intimately in our faith with him and to never forget our purpose here.

  4. christine sutton says:

    As nice as it is to be surrounded by people we can connect with our purpose here on earth is to become very bonded and connected to our Lord and Saviour. You see it talks about the loneliness in Hell and how we for eternity never get to connect with anyone and suffer tremendous horrific misery. It is critically important that we learn to solely depend our Lord and Grow very intimately in our faith with him and to never forget our purpose here.

  5. I like this perspective, however, being one who is often “set apart” it feels more and more like set aside everyday. Especially when my significant other up and leaves out of the blue one day because he felt God told him to. There are friends and family that love me to be sure, and I’m grateful for them, but they’re not in my shoes so it’s hard for them to help me. I realize my problems are minor in the grand scheme of things and I’m grateful that things aren’t worse, but I’m tired of fighting a losing battle to change things and make them better. The more I pray and try to have faith in the bigger plan and the more people tell me God has something better in mind for me, the worse things get (in more areas than relationships) and that “something better” doesn’t materialize. But I’ll try and listen more for that still small voice and maybe things will turn around soon. If not, I’ll have to accept that it’s set aside not set apart and maybe God isn’t real after all. To anyone out there feeling lonely and frustrated, you’re not alone. And if I see you at a table by yourself or looking like I feel most of the time, I’ll be the first to say hello and invite you to sit with me. 🙂

    • Hello, please don’t allow the option of wondering if God is real or not, because Satan for sure will do everything to make you feel defeated .Completely block off the avenue . God is real . If you are feeling alone, pray more and get connected to Him. He will bring deep joy to your heart

      • Thank you for the words. I never doubt God is real. The loneliness I feel is like being stuck. Just stuck. With no way out, like stagnant water. In a circle of despair. I feel some short reprieve in the evening, then it starts again. Stuck.

        • Bruce,
          I feel the exact same way. Stuck. I have been this way for three months and I just can’t move out of this. In fact, I feel like everyday gets worse. I hope that trusting more in God will help me find some peace but I am scared that I will feel this way forever.

          • Tania Chong says:

            Hi Lauren,
            I obviously don’t know you personally and I agree with everyone who is talking about prayer – the Lord has lifted me out of many times of feeling alone – but have you considered seeing your doctor? You MIGHT (and I am NOT a health professional, just friend to some who’ve sounded similar) have some form of depression. Hugs, and all the very best to you.

    • Lauren, your reading this and posting here tells me God wanted you to know He is with you. It may feel like He left, but he got you to this devotion to give you the message that you are loved and set apart, protected and not alone! He will never leave you, and you have family here. Always come to these devotions for encouragement. He speaks to me here, and I know He has gifted this ministry to encourage and be a light in the dark for many of the women in this world. Don’t give up on God or yourself. I will be praying for you! HUGS! <3

      • Dear Lauren,
        Bless your heart! I agree with Mary and Elizabeth – you came to this devotion for a reason – a great reason and I pray that you will find encouragement. God is real and He loves you very, very much. Don’t give foothold to the evil one who delights in doubt. God’s ways are not our ways, His thoughts are not our thoughts and He does have a plan for us all, even if the world throws some curves our way. Continue to read His Word and pray and seek Him with all your heart.
        Praying for you today.

    • Lauren,
      I know your pain. I am there as well. The man I wanted to marry up and left too. I can’t tell you it gets easier, or what God is trying to say to you. I do know that it is a time of growth, and I have been experiencing a year of silence and waiting. God told me to wait and Ive done everything I can not too. Yet I am still waiting. Sometimes God has us right where we need to be. Both you and I will find joy again. I know it. It is only a season. We know not how long it will be, years, days, months, but soon joy will come back into your life. I love you my sister in Christ. I accept you fully for where God has placed you and it is okay to be there.

      • Wesley Artrip says:

        Check my comment earlier..i too am in despair..what makes things right when the “season” never ends? there are so many ways i ccould have changed my roads but i didn’t listen to the lies..Jesus is revered and worshipped but pound for pound, ive lived twice as long through worse..blah blah blah..god is real..then he forgot me..and none of his reasaons will make up..you will NEVER know.. i am so lonely..god let me down..or i was stupid..maybe both

    • You sound like me in alot of ways, stuck on Prince Edward Island in exile for going on six years now, waiting to be freed, to be able to return home to Alberta and family again. I deeply relate to hearing about God opening a door for me and it not happening but He is finally beginning to teach me something else. That I have been fighting with Him to learn: Happiness does not come from the world outside or family or friends or acquaintances… we all have to learn to Be Happy – Right Where We Are – no matter what our circumstances are. A huge part of that is learning to Trust the Lord, not just what people say about Him or what you hear in Church but learn to trust Him through a personal walk with Him. It took me five years but I read the entire Old Testament! Maybe its time for me to begin the New Testament. Too often we fight with God, we are stubborn and want things our way or we want them now. I still have to learn to listen and its not an easy lesson to learn. Christmas – its not about trees and decorations, its not about visiting family and friends, its not about exchanging gifts and having a fine dinner – Its about the Lord and how He became a sacrificial lamb and allowed Himself to be beaten, mutilated and killed in a horrific manner because I sinned and had no way back to God or safety or salvation without Jesus giving Himself up to be slaughtered for my sake. How does God feel, looking down on us now, rushing about going into debt for yet another year of spending money we don’t have on gifts we really can’t afford and will forget about in a month… Does He not hurt and feel sad that no one seems to get that He is the focus here. How does Jesus feel, having His precious blood and life sacrificed for nothing for most people but He does rejoice when He finds one of us because we do ‘get it’. I am not bothering with a tree this year or gifts, with just the two of us, my husband and myself there’s not much point when there is no family here. But this devotional has reminded me that this time of year really isn’t about me in the first place, its about the Lord and what He gave up for my sake and how I am repaying that gift. Each of us have already received our Holiday Gift and He’s standing outside your doorstep right now, knocking and waiting to see if you will open the door and let Him come in. Give to someone who has even less then you and you’ve let Him in.

      • Wow you really said it well Stephanie. I am alone now and your words really spoke to me . I hope you don’t mind me sharing of them with a friend.

      • Thank you for that Stephanie. Although it was two years ago that you wrote this, I happened to stumble across it seeking answers to my questions regarding how to reconnect with God after failing to listen to him for 9 months and falling completely out of His will. Seeing your message, it was something I definitely needed to see. So thank you.

    • Sometimes this feeling we have of being alone, and even wondering if God is real is what the great mystics called “the dark time of the soul” – throughout the ages many have felt this way, and it is a great trial, but God is always there, always with you in your suffering close beside you, even in the darkest time. It is during these times that you are one with Christ in the Garden of Gethsemene, you are one with Christ as he stands before Pilot, you are with Him as he is beaten at the Pillar, you are there with Him as they spit on Him and mock him, set the reed in his hand, force the Crown of Thorns onto his head and make Him bleed, mockingly throw a cloak over his torn and bleeding shoulders and sneeringly call him the King of the Jews. As He walks the Via Dolorosa, you are there beside him, while the crowds do nothing, screaming for His death. His friends all ran away. His mother weeps uncontrollably as cruel men uncarinly pound nails through His hands and feet. He whispers “I thirst!” from the Cross, and you know that cry all too well, because your heart is breaking with thirst as well, it feels as dry as the barren desert that has not seen water in years. And when he calls out, “Father, why have you forsaken me?” you are there, asking that same question, why? Why me? It’s ok to ask. But don’t give up, never give up. “For you will be with me in Paradise” When you feel lost and alone, meditate on His Passion – he was never more alone. Yet, even then, of course, He was never lost. Of course not. And how could we be? Huddle close to the foot of the Cross. Hang onto it will all your might. Maybe you feel nothing else, but the bite of that Wood, that you clutch as hard as you can, until it cuts into your fingers. But hang in there. Every Dark Night passes, in time.

      God bless you alway and forever. ~ Lisa

      • Lisa, I cannot tell you how much your posting has meant to me. My eyes are swollen with tears as I read your comment and my heart aches today and I do not know what to do, but try to read scripture and pray – as much as I can. I am going through such a difficult time with my husband and everything in me doesn’t know what to do and it feels like one attack after the other and it is beating me down. This is hard for me because I am normally a fun, loving person, but for the first time in a long time I feel a heaviness in my soul that I cannot shake and it makes me question if God is truly close right now. I know deep down he is, but it is hard to feel it in the midst of this confusion and deep hurt. Thank you so much your sweet words and encouragement, I will reread this through out the day. Blessings…

        • Kari, it seems that what you wrote is somewhat like what I have been going through. My husband has been pretty much disabled the past year and it has been tough. I felt and sometimes still do, feel alone. I have many friends and family who are very supportive but the only ONE that can help me is our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Without him in my heart and without his listening to me I don’t know where I would be right now. I still have a lot more to deal with and some many trying times ahead so I just keep praying to him to give me strength and guidance, patience and love as I journey through my life with my husband. You are not alone even though at times you feel that way, we all have those moments. I have this picture that says” Make time to be still as God is whispering while the world is loud.” I love this because when your life is upside down and we all need to just take a few moments and be alone.

      • Lisa, thank you so much for this devotional and the above words of encouragement. For the past 6 months I felt so lonely, overwhelmed and beaten down. There have been difficulties with my health, my children, my marriage! Through it all I have been learning to run to God and to continue to give him thanks despite the situation! Some days, I feel like giving up; I feel like what’s the use, nothing is getting better. There doesn’t seem to be any friend or family member for me and I have been feeling set aside in more ways than one. Thank you for helping me see that I am being set apart. I know that God has a lessen for me in this struggle! Love in Christ.

      • I’ll try to remember that I’m being set apart and not set aside. I’m trying to learn how to trust Him but sometimes I’m still scared>

      • Wesley Artrip says:

        Six years? Iv’e suffured longer than Jesus LIVED…and im not alone. ..And that “dark night”? what if it dont pass? Even i KNOW THERE ARE OTHERS THAT HAVE BEEN THRU WORSE LONGER..THIER WORDS MEAN MORE than all these nice promisise.. the bible can be slanted in all directions.. if god is real..it is not for me..so be it..i will be a good person anyway..for anyone lonely..try looking toward others,, at least that will matter.. words are cheap

    • Sherry Johnson Gilson says:

      Please don’t ever feel God is not real. No matter what tragedy we face, or how alone, rejected, or overwhelmingly sad we are, He is real. God sent His son to die for us to have eternal life with Him. If He never did anything else, that should be enough. This life is but a breath compared to eternity. If we believe that Jesus is the son of God, who was born of a virgin birth, died to take away our guilt (sin),was raised from the dead, and we surrender our life to Him, we will have an eternity of bliss we could never fathom. I know first hand what alone and rejected feels like. I also know the doubt satan can tempt us with. I know how difficult it is to wait for things to change,so you can at least have some peace. I know what it feels like to not believe you will ever be happy again in this life; but I could never doubt the existence of God. When I read your statement,that maybe He is not real, it grieved my heart. Your saying this made me wonder if you have ever had a specific time of surrendering your life to Jesus, of truly being born again. If you can’t remember a time of asking for salvation and surrendering to the will of Christ, no matter what life may bring, then please do this. Please be sure of your salvation. I pray I am not being perceived as being judgmental or harsh. I truly feel the kind of pain you were in when you shared your feelings. I have cried almost every day for over four years. I lost the greatest loves of my life, my mom and husband. I have a friend I love, nieces and nephews,and in-laws, but I rarely ever see them. They are busy with their lives. It is VERY rare if anyone comes to visit me. I am just here alone…so alone, except for the Lord. I miss my husband so much I feel,at times, I can’t bear another day. I wake myself up crying for my mom and/or my husband. I know what it means to be totally shattered and broken. It hurts even more reading all these testemonials of people in the same situation. My heart goes out to you and anyone who feels this type of pain. Please let me know if things have gotten better for you since you shared what you were going thru a couple of years ago. God bless you.

  6. Thank you for the reminder. 🙂
    Merry Christmas!

  7. I ♥ this wonderful time of year. I do feel lonely, considering that I’m not going to be able to spend it with my family; however, I hope to be able to spend it with my husband, Ron Smith. I this wonderful time of year. I do feel lonely, considering that I’m not going to be able to spend it with my family; however, I hope to be able to spend it with my husband, Ron Smith’s mom, Martha Smith-whether where she lives or if she comes up here to visit with us. We’re waiting to learn if we’re going to get to go out of town, or if his mom’s oing to end up spending some time here with us- considering that she doesn’t want to put us in the current situation she’s in. “Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. The troubles of my heart are enlarged; bring me out of my distresses.” Psalm 25:16-17 (ESV)
    Wow! What a wonderfully powerful prayer tonight! What a wonderful thing to pray to God! Whenever we’re feeling lonely, we should always remember that we’re not alone. The Lord’s always there for us in our greatest time of need.
    “with humility comes wisdom” (NIV).
    Amen! Wow! What a wonderful reminder! When we trust in God, we become wiser in the things that we do. We make better decisions that are more pleasing to the Lord.
    “There is something wonderfully sacred that happens when a girl chooses to look past being set aside to see God’s call for her to be set apart. “
    Amen! Wow! What a wonderful reminder at this late hour! When God calls us out to do something for Him, He has set us apart from everyone else. We’ve been called to do something specific for Him.
    “Dear Lord, help me see the gifts hidden in this season of loneliness. I’m believing today that I’m set apart, not set aside. In Jesus’ Name, Amen. “~Lysa TerKeurst
    Amen! Wow! What a wonderful prayer on this Monday night! God has hidden the things He wants us to do, setting us a part from everyone else. In our time of loneliness, we should do our part to help others.
    John 15:16a, “You didn’t choose me. I chose you.” (NLT)
    Wow! What a powerful reminder tonight! We most definitely didn’t choose to be a child of God. Rather, we’ve been chosen by God to do something special.

  8. Nancy Benson says:

    Oh, I feel you wrote this for me. I am feeling lonely this Christmas. I feel overlooked, like I don’t matter. Like I must be a real nothing. My heart is hurting and bleeding, and yet although I can’t feel Jesus right now I know He is with me and has plans for me. It is so very hard sometimes to overule our hurting hearts by the Widom of God as He speaks to us in Scripture . Thank you for encouragement today.

    • Nancy, you are loved! Remember He is never leaving you, keep on talking to Him. Open your bible and find out what he wants you to know. Follow these bible references. God is speaking to you! That is why he had you come read this today. HUGS!

  9. iris acker says:

    This is terribly important to me right now, as I’m on a train from Boston to South Carolina after being alone for 6 years. Being set apart and learning from Holy Spirit to go back and face a family that nearly destroyed my life. Reading this devotion as I’m taking this 20 hr trip that is nearing to an end at 5am this morning, I do understand the reason.

    • I’m praying that you, Iris, have a wonderful visit. That your family will see the Christ in you and will welcome Him and you into their lives. That you will be strong in Him, safe in His arms. In Jesus’ name

  10. I also am struggling big time right now. I will be at home alone for Christmas, as usual. This year I have had many great disappointments and it seems as what little I have is being taken away. I don’t feel (accidentally) overlooked, but (intentionally) looked-over. I truly need help in the dividing line ~ trying to believe for good things for me, but not too much. I have huge desires for God to use me, then I chastise myself in thinking too highly of myself and can get depressed. I will consider your three questions for today. Thank you for the opportunity to give voice to my hurt and pain.

    • Janet, is there a place you can volunteer in your community? We have a free meal program in our town, and many folks come for companionship to the meal, but also leave with friends and become volunteers to keep the program going. I know many cities have places like this, food banks, shelters. They all need hands and feet on the ground help every day. Take this message as an invitation to step out in faith and look for God in those you can help. He will bless you over and over. I felt this way, alone and overlooked, but when I prayed, give me real friends and a place to feel loved, he blessed me 10 times over as I walked out the door and said, YES I can help. Hugs my friend!

  11. I feel that this was sent for me today. I know how it is to sit alone at a table for ten.

    • Hugs Judy! God loves you and you are never alone in this community at Proverbs 31! Come back often and let us know how you are!

  12. Lauren-the enemy would love nothing more than for you to believe God isn’t real so you can continue down the broKen path you’re on. That’s what he does best. But the truth holds so much more hope. And the Bible says that we will find Him when we seek Him with all our hearts. May you keep on seeking. : )

  13. Andrea Henry says:

    This was a blessing to have read, for such a time as this. We all have area’s in our lives where we feel we have missed the mark and things have not gone as We Planned. So when.i read this all i think of was God looking at me with a sweet daddy face and saying” You’ll get daughter. ” I feel like the breakthrough is right at the tip. . .and im stretching, stretching and still missing it! But this word or should I say nugget Lisa gave me was just another Push!!! I have been a single parent for 20 yrs. Been married once and I was still a single parent then as well. Im 42 w/ three kids whom are all still living w/ me. 22, 16, and 5. So you can see where im coming from. I felt lost for so, so, long because of my mistakes in this area of my life. And still after all this time never meeting anyone. To see people do what ever they want with no regard to consult God and live the way they want and still find Mr. Right has played a major role in my faith (at times) but believe by reading this word God has been preparing me for great. And even to have felt alone I know I have just been set apart.

    • Andrea, I hear you, watching people do what they want with no regard for God, and yet getting what they desire, is hard. But our treasure is in heaven and we will enjoy it for eternity, this world won’t last very long. I know that it’s easier said than done, but dwell on that for awhile, get it deep in your heart, we will have an eternity filled with love.

  14. Minister12 says:

    Oh my God! This devotion just touched my heart. Lysa, God used you to minister to me. I am a single parent and a minister. I am alone on the weekends and holidays. My parents live two hours away and so does my brother and his family,therfore visiting is not an option sometimes.

    On Facebook, I often see the women of my church, eating out and taking pictures enjoying themselves. These are the same women that I minister to when I teach the women bible study. These are the women who called me to pray with them. These are women who never ask me to eat out with them. However, Lysa, I heard God tell me I have set you aside to do great things for the kingdom. He told me he didn’t want me to become contaminated.Therefore, I was being set aside, but not left alone.

    • Please reach out to these women and let them know you would love to have coffee. They may be afraid to invite you. I am the wife of a Pastor and I understand. But also, look for places where you can be you, not the minister. Friends in ministry at other churches understand. Reach out and invite them to meet too! God wants you to have that kind of companionship too.

  15. Thanks for your devotional today. It hits right where I’m at. For the past two years I have been dealing with health problems, some acute, but some are chronic. It has hampered my ability to attend church regularly along with the fact that my husband has to work most Sundays. I cannot serve in the ways I could before. Now when I do attend I am virtually ignored. It hurts not to be included in the fellowship and to be forgotten when I am not there. Maybe God does have a plan for all this after all

    • Liz, I’m so sorry you are feeling alone. I also am chronically ill and have missed church and a lot of other things due to it at times. If you would like some fellowship with other ladies in Christ, we have a very loving facebook group you are welcome to join. Click on my name right above this comment and it will take you to that page. You are loved. You will never be forgotten by God. And may He bring you into friendship with others so you can know more of how valuable you are to the body of Christ! Simply because you are you! You are valuable because God created you. Love you in Jesus!

  16. Somehow Lysa, I believe you have more to say on this topic. It has certainly touched me! Thank you for the reminder.

  17. Andrea Henry says:

    I felt the power of God through you words. I felt hope, greafulness, peace and love. Thank you!

    I been where you are, all can say is God Can! I pray this story you will share with another will soon be ” How God brought you out.”

    You encouraged me, to love past my pain of thoes who hurt us. I pray that you enjoy your family like never before, and laugh so hard your stomach hurts. But most of all let the Jesus spill over in you on to them, just as you have done to total stanger (like me.) I am to tears of joy and checking the time for you arrival. Haaaa. Blessings sister.

  18. Thank you Lysa for this message. Ive been there. Ive- felt so overlooked to the point that I questioned why I was even here. Ive felt the agony of not being chosen first or second or sometimes at all. But God did not waste those feelings. He used those experiences for my good to teach me two things:
    1) Though it feels really good, we don’t NEED the acceptance of others. We already have His acceptance, a place at His table where we are never seated alone. He is all we truly need and no smile, nod or hug here can hold a candle to feeling His arms around me and His peace and love washing over me there is no substitute for feeling like his loved daughter and friend.
    2) If i’ve felt lonely or alone, there’s a solid chance others have felt that way. And I think this post and the comments are evidence of that. Reach out to someone else you think might be lonely- hospitals, nursing homes, ithomeless shelters. It took me awhile to stop wallowing in self-pity and realize that God allowed me to feel that ache and feeling if invisibility for a reason. To be a blessing to others who feel the same way.
    I can tell all of you ladies that have posted, that though are circumstances are probably not the same, I have probably felt exactly what you are feeling. There is a way out. Remember that He loves you – more than anuone here on earth ever could. And though you may not feel like it, go out and find someone to show they are not forgotten.

  19. I have been in a long season of lonliness. Friends who never reach out first. I have to be the one. I’ve taken a step back recently to see if any of my friends will reach out. Then there’s family that are more like strangers. The pain of this lonliness has caused me to spend more time reading God’s word. It is helping but it feels like a long road back from the pit of darkness I fell into. Thank goodness I have my husband and kids. They have been my saving grace. I have felt set aside for way too long. I’m going to spend more time exploring what this lonliness can teach me and how it can make me a better person.

    • Lisa, I feel the pain in your words. I don’t know if you are still feeling this way a few years later, hopefully God has already been bringing you into fellowship with others who will reach out! But I want to invite you to join a facebook group for sisters in Christ to be together online for friendship and encouragement. I have had many lonely years and times when I thought all hope was gone. Click my name above and it will take you to the facebook group, “Living Loved in Christ – Women’s Group”. Or you can look it up on facebook. Hugs!

  20. This really speaks to me. I mean REALLY! I’m a single missionary serving on a tiny island way out in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. And while I have lots of activity in my life, I have very little true face to face friendship. Not whining. That’s just the way it is.

    Recently I’ve been having some medical issues and our little island has really limited facilities so I’m heading to Hawaii later this week. For medical care. And I’ll be alone. On Christmas. Not with my family. Not with my people. Alone. Some dare to say they are jealous. Christmas in Hawaii… They don’t know.

    But the other day God spoke to my heart and I just knew this Christmas He has a special assignment for me. Where I thought I might do dinner and a movie… Me and Jesus… Instead I found a place that feeds the homeless, the needy. And yes, I’m going. Volunteering. And I can’t wait. I’m gonna bring some fun things for any children who might be there. I think this will be my truest ever celebration of Christ who came!!!!

    • Fantastic Diane! I am so glad you found this place to share and also receive the love in return. Merry Christmas to you!

  21. Not lonely. Alone with God.

  22. I feel so alone everyday. I want Jesus in my life so bad. But part of me feels that I’m not good enough for God’s love. I just joined a new church and everyone has been so nice. I’m so new at this but I want to feel Jesus’s love so badly.

    • Jess, Jesus want nothing more then to be your Lord and Savior..all you need to do is accept His love and ask for forgiveness of your sins and trust Him for your life…He will take care of you..and He did not come to die to save perfect people , but to save ALL people..NONE is never good enough as we are all born sinners but HE can make you clean and white as snow as you accept Him…Dear Lord , please work in Jess heart, help him ( or her sorry I was not sure if you are a lady or a man) to see their sins and their need of salvation, I think that he ( or she) is seaking for you and we know that you are just awaiting to embrace him ( or her) with your overwhelming love. In Jesus name I pray..Amen

    • Jess, you’re right when you say you are not good enough for God’s love. That’s why it’s called grace — undeserved love — and why it is at the heart of Christmas. God loves us poor sinners — whether we feel it or not — and gives generously of that love through his Son, who was sent to live and die to eliminate the debt we owe to God for our sins. So whatever our earthly situation, we have a marvelous God who treasures us. May He continue to work in your heart through His word and grant you patience as you grow in faith.

  23. Lauren, please don’t ever think God isn’t real. That’s just your frustration talking. Wellimama is so right… The enemy would love for you to think that. Just keep on keeping on, thanking God everyday for what IS good. The tiniest of things. If its sunny, thank him for the sun. If it’s raining, thank him for the rain, because without either things can’t grow. And we are the same way. You’re in a wilderness right now. God will bring you out of it. Even Jesus went through a wilderness stage. Keep James1:2-3 in mind: consider it pure joy when you face trials, for through them you learn endurance. James 1:5 says to pray for wisdom in order to get through those trials. Just keep praying. Be persistent, even when you don’t feel like it. It may take a long time, but God loves you and will never leave you.

  24. I am beginning a new job with a brand new company- literally joining in on the “ground floor”. I am going to be doing something completely different than I’ve ever done before; completely out of my comfort zone; something I could have never seen myself doing AT ALL! I’ve had so many frustrations and felt like I’ve been overlooked for the years of experience and skills I have. Every time I feel this way though God places peace in my heart and reminds me that He has a purpose and has control of the situation. This message today was very comforting to me because when I get the feeling of being overlooked I feel very much alone. But I’m not alone or set aside. I’m set apart by God for His glory.

  25. As a minister’s wife, I know exactly how you feel. Your words today were a balm to my aching spirit. Thank you! I really needed help out of my lonely party for 1, into an understanding of viewing my time alone as a divine appointment.

  26. This was exactly what I needed today! Thank you for sharing. The loneliness has been threatening to consume me and you’ve helped me gain a new perspective. God bless!

  27. DeJuan Mason says:

    I am often alone. I don’t know that I feel set aside or set apart. I have so many people who tell me the gifts they see in me, but I don’t know if God sees those same gifts. So this is yet another Christmas without a significant other. Another Christmas where I can’t provide for my family. Another Christmas that I wish would just come and go – not because I don’t love God with all my heart, but because it marks another year of being in a storm. Another year of having to find faith that I don’t have – of not being connected to anything or anyone. The storm has rendered me spiritually and emotionally paralyzed. And I belong to a great church. I pray for bothers, believe God for others, but have trouble believing for myself. So I feel like a fraud. And maybe that’s why I’m alone.

    • I just finished Max Lucado’s new book Before Amen. One of many points he makes is that God wants to have a relationship with you first. To have you pray for yourself first. To build that trust and security with Him through prayer. Then you know the love and can reach out and pray for others. Don’t feel like a fraud, use today as a new start to build that trust in you and the gifts God has for you. If others are speaking to you and you have those gifts and talents to share, maybe they are the messenger from God showing you the way. Something to ponder maybe. Check out the book too! (no I don’t work for Max 🙂 )

  28. Beautiful reminder that we are loved by the Father and NEVER alone. There are seasons/times when I have to remember that simple message- I am set apart. Getting past my feelings and embracing the truth of what’s in God’s love letter is where I need to be at those times.

  29. as my husband left me for another woman 4 months ago after 34 years of marriage i was dreading this holiday season, as I have NEVER been alone in my life..but He has been so faithful to me and brought me back to Him in a way I find quite overwhelming I do thank you tho Lisa for the “set apart ” devotion, I can see my loneliness in a different way..after I got back to the Lord I also started the “made to crave ” study and this was a huge help to me also..I want to thank Proverbs31 for being a tl the Lord has help me tremendously this past few months. And I wish you all a merry Christmas

    • Hugs Yvette! I believe God equips this ministry for situations just like yours. To know there is a caring place right here on earth where you can find love and support! I will pray that you feel God next to you each and every day! You are never alone when you have God by your side!

  30. Holly Graff says:

    In this most blessed of seasons, this message pierces my heart. Thank you for choosing to share this message today. It is so needed by me right now. I am caring for my dying ex-husband, as he finishes his journey on this world, and having MS myself, it is quite the most daunting of tasks. I have a plethora of help, but even through this sometimes I feel so very alone and unable to rise up to the challenge in front of me. I have vowed to care for this man whom I love, and will continue to do so, no matter the cost personally. Sometimes though, I feel unworthy of the task, and that though I might have help, no one “gets” it. My heart and soul are breaking, even though he knows the Lord and I know where he is going, and my body is failing.

    • What a gift of unconditional love you are giving your ex husband. You are a gem among many stones Holly! Those around you may not understand but they notice and they are learning from you. God understands and He knows how hard this is to do. I will pray that your own pain is less as you give this priceless gift to him in this time of the end of his life on earth. This message was given to you today so you know God notices and He loves your heart!

  31. Hi,
    Yes. I understand.

    Sometimes JESUS says, “Am I enough for you?”

    May our hearts respond, “Yes, I AM is enough for me.”

  32. EC Lafuente says:

    Thank you so much for this.

  33. I gigled with delight when I read….’not set aside….set APART!!! How “GOD” is that!!
    But Lysa, did you spend the reest of the meal and meeting alone? I WANT to know!!

  34. God seriously bless you Lysa. I am in that season right now where I work, other things have happened too, I hate it and want to leave. I have sought the Lord and I have noticed how humbling its been and corrective, learning to live God’s way without the acknowledgment of man. I also feel it is good for me to experience this lonliness looking out for others and leaning on God rather than struggling to fit into a group as I have frequently done. I hope the season ends soon though!

  35. Recently moved. And yes I’ve felt alone. Thank God for this reminder.

  36. This devotion and verse resounded with me today. I am in a season of chronic pain, and I feel very “set aside”. I can’t do the things I want to do because of the pain from my MS.
    So, here we are, in the season of “merry”, and I am anything but merry. I needed that very verse and the 3 things you wanted us to examine to “reframe” my misery.
    I need to focus on others’ pain during this time, and to really celebrate the birth of Jesus. God will take care of the rest.
    God bless you for your ministry!

  37. Shaloea James-Harrison says:

    You “ALWAYS” put issues and concerns in perspective for me! I really needed to hear this message today, for God really know what how I have been feeling and struggling, since I moved almost 7 years ago we 2300 miles away from my family to be with my husband and his family. This word touched my soul, your messages typically do, (I can relate more than often). I will be writing, I am not set aside but apart. I Have Been Feeling Really Lonely And your message has brought a new light. May God bless you, your family and the writers of Proverbs! You are awesome!

  38. If anyone reads this reply I really need prayers!!!!!

    • I will pray that God is with you in your struggles today and that he blesses you in the way he knows you need it most.

      • Lesa, Nicole, Melissa,
        You all have replied to my posting for prayers. I believe you when you say you have prayed for me.
        I think you from the bottom of my heart. I have been watching to see if anyone would pray for me and you all did!
        I was so sad this morning. Your kind words and prayers have helped me feel so much better. 3 people cared enough to say a prayer for me. Thank you

    • I’m praying for you Michelle, that you can see God’s hand in your life and get through what you are dealing with.

    • Michelle

      done 🙂 and sending you the biggest {{{{{HUGS}}}}}

  39. I think this is one of Satan’s best used tools against women. Thanks so much for writing about it.

  40. This devotion today hit home with a bulls eye. I am most connected with your words “completely self-absorbed in my own insecurity and miss whatever reason God had for me”. I do my best to hide at events or give reasons not to attend because I don’t feel good enough to be there. This opened my eyes to the thought that in my hiding and declining I may truly be missing God’s reason for wanting me there. Perhaps if I step out in faith and not worry about my appearance I will feel that closeness to the Lord that I feel like I’m missing in my life now.
    Thank you for bringing a new perspective into my day. May you have a blessed holiday season.

  41. My family recently moved to a new town. I am fighting loneliness and depression, and the beautiful marriage I have with my love of 17 yrs is suffering too. I feel so disconnected from God. I think this is the first time Ive admitted that. I let Him and my entire family down terribly in the spring of this year, by leading them into a small home church that was NOT what it appeared to be. I crave peace for myself. Our financial strain is unbearable, and my husband has changed as he no longer feels like a good provider. I need God… I belong to Him. I just can’t find or feel Him anymore….

    • Hi Jessica,

      I could feel your pain in your post. Sometimes God hides from us so He can test us. But rest, be assured He IS there, waiting with open arms for you to trust Him.

      Whatever you are feeling, remember this feeling is NOT a fact. God is there.

      Praying for you!

      Hugs <3

  42. God is so good. Thank you for sharing.
    I needed just this encouragement today, my marriage is shaking and tho I falter I will not faint. I lift my eyes to my God and in a strong voice I will proclaim, let your will be done my God, my Father. I will trust you and praise you in this storm. You have promised plans to prosper not to harm me and like Job I will remain faithful to my God.

  43. Setaside Sessions says:

    It’s so easy to feel set aside when those who are the very closest to you don’t hear even if they pretend to listen. I’m on quite a downward slide right now. I’m just tired… So very tired!!!

  44. Just what I needed today.

  45. Thank you for getting a hold of my head/thoughts. I was trying not to think of the gathering for Christmas of the office gang. I would be the only widow – only one alone. I kept asking God to help me to be able to see something different. Thank you for being used of God that I will be able to ask Him to show me who to go into conversation with to reach them for Him. Encouragement, cheers as a parent, etc. Whatever He wants me to say, I will choose to be a blessing instead of thinking of me. Thank you.

  46. Prayers for you and your family jessica! I know God hears you! And Lauren! And so many others, I pray for your situations and loneliness. God is with us! I have felt him as he has helped me win battles with Satan! Don’t despair! But I also want to say that it is okay to cry and acknowledge that your feelings are real and then move forward, even a little movement is victory!

  47. Thank you for sharing this, all women’s responces and specifically directed to women, I am a guy with loneliness in my life and struggling deeply. Thanks for the hope this knowledge may bring!

  48. I so needed to hear this today. I too am feeling lonely and depressed as I do most holidays. I am single and live over 600 miles away from my family so going home is not an option for me. I am a nurse and for almost my entire career I have either had to work Christmas Eve or Day or the day after which has prevented me from going home. This has been a very trying year for me as well as I have been struggling to find full time work (was laid off) and am barely making ends meet

  49. What happens when you’re always alone, not just for a season? Or you’re always getting rejected?

  50. This devotional really blessed me. It is exactly what I needed today. God Bless.

  51. Lisa Champion says:

    Setaside Sessions,
    I know what you mean by being so very tired. For 13 years that was me at Christmas time. I lived in WI and wanted to be in ME with my mom & dad, but finances wouldn’t allow it. I began thinking of my blessings and all that I have. It wasn’t a complete turn around but it got me on the road to acceptance. I stll have my moments but this year is a lot better than last. My prayer for you is that you won’t feel set aside but that God has set you apart to help someone who is feeling the way you do to give encouragement so that you may be a blessing to them and be blessed also. I pray that you have a Merry Christmas.


  52. Today’s message warmed my heart and made me feel better about myself. I am an only child who can feel “set aside.” I am married for the second time and have four grown children but their stepfather is one reason why I am estranged from three of my four kids. I want to serve to fulfill God’s purpose in my life as I KNOW that there is one. I started volunteering in the nursery at our church and am now getting involved in volunteering for an animal shelter. (I work two part-time jobs.) I pray that the others in this thread find the purpose and peace that I have. I’m clearly a work in progress but being “set apart” gives me a new perspective. Thanks, Lysa!

  53. I was just praying last night, sharing with The Lord how I feel lonely in ministry since we’ve moved. I recently went to a conference and was expecting the same divine connections you spoke of and they weren’t there. God is so faithful in how He answers our prayers. Thank you for allowing Him to use you to bless us today.

  54. joann liesen says:

    This is something I needed as well. As someone else said, I’m 51 years old and single for 13 years and it seems like forever..Combine that with the fact that my daughter had a recent surgery the day before Thanksgiving, and isnt done yet, and now I also need surgery, so we’re trying to schedule things so that we can help one another. Yes, the “merry” is tough to feel. However this past Sunday, the minister said something that got me. He spoke of how vast the universe is, and that it would take one traveling at the speed of light 100,000 years to get to a certain star. The enormity is incomprehensible. If God van create all that, he said, He can surely take care of you. He then said that God knows every sin you have ever committed, or ever will commit…That hit me. THIS is why we follow Christ..because He knows every single aspect of our lives past, present and future, and if we listen to His will, our purpose will be fulfilled. I dont think I really “got” that before. And then when I read this post, everything clicked! Thank you so much for what you do here and God bless.

  55. This article really spoke to me this morning and it’s timing is perfect. I’ve been struggling with loneliness my whole life. At 37, single and still waiting it gets to me seeing others having the life i always wanted – love, marriage, children, family etc. That’s all i ever wanted and it has eluded me all this time. I ended up getting into relationships for all the wrong reasons and depreciating my own self worth to accommodate others in order to be accepted. I’ve had my trust shredded in every way which caused me to further alienate myself. I’ve got no friends to talk to or lean on or hang out with. Not that i don’t want them…i’m just afraid of trusting and loving only to have it betrayed again.

    Recently while praying i felt in my spirit that maybe God is allowing all these people to fall away from my life for a reason. My sinking deeper and deeper into solitude may not be the curse i’m thinking it to be, maybe the Creator of the entire universe wants one on one time with me. WOW! Imagine that.. The thing i’ve been struggling against all these years, maybe i should just let go and let Him be my everything, let Him take over and have His will in my life. All good things will be added as He sees fit for me in His time. Maybe instead of asking for trustworthy people in my life i should just trust the one who will never let me down.

    I had this revelation a while now but only decided to step into it last night in prayer and lo…this post by Lisa this morning just confirmed it. So thank you Lisa for your post and for God’s influence in your life, it is bringing changes and revelations to many. Bless You. Have never read any of your books yet, can’t afford it but i’m grateful for the posts here on P31.

  56. This message really spoke to my spirit. I definitely feel like this and I always feel bad about it, but now I see that being overlooked is not a bad thing. Thanks for sharing. God bless you!

  57. Debbie Parker says:

    Thank,you so much for sharing this story without today. I feel like it was written just for me! God,lead us to change churches over a year ago. We lead ministries in our old church and were very plugged in. That church slowly was dying and God,lead us to a new one. It is a large church and is very hard to get to know people. I would attend the women’s ministry get togethers and no one would talk to me. One even, I was completely ignored, and there wasn’t even a seat for me to sit at a table like everyone else. The pastor’s wife sat on the steps with me since I didn’t have a seat at a table. I felt so sorry for myself that I said I wouldn’t go to another event. But God helped me to be brave again and this time there was a seat for me and the people at my table talked to me. I want to mature and be the person that talks to people alone, not just looking out for myself, and God is teaching me just that!

  58. Your words spoke right to my heart!! And is conformation that I am indeed set apart by God and for God.God give me this wonderful promises but none of them have came true yet, and sometimes I wonder if the will?! It is christmas and everyone is planning and in the christmas spirit, just not me. The fact that I am still single is a bummer, I also want that special someone who God talks about in my dreams. I sit alone at home wondering – why me. I know I am set apart and destined for great things in His Name, but I am lonely and don’t know how much more “alone” I can handle. I need a miracle and a breakthrough.

  59. Your words spoke right to my heart!! And is conformation that I am indeed set apart by God and for God.God give me this wonderful promises but none of them have came true yet, and sometimes I wonder if the will?! It is christmas and everyone is planning and in the christmas spirit, just not me. The fact that I am still single is a bummer, I also want that special someone who God talks about in my dreams. I sit alone at home wondering – why me. I know I am set apart and destined for great things in His Name, but I am lonely and don’t know how much more “alone” I can handle. I need a miracle and a breakthrough.

  60. I don’t know why I’m surprised when God sends me a love letter! Thanks!

  61. Sharline, your post excites me! Centering your life on God is totally worth the “cost.” It’s the best adventure you could ever go on! About 5 years ago, I set my face to seek the Lord, and my relationship with him grew by leaps and bounds as I devoted my time to him. During that season, God added a husband to me. 🙂 It totally surprised me because that wasn’t my reason for seeking the Lord AT ALL. Marriage is wonderful, especially when you know you’re with God’s choice of a spouse for you. Even so, there’s nothing like being in the secret place with God alone. Marriage requires a lot of time and attention. Even the Bible says that it can be a distraction from wholeheartedly going after the Lord because you will have earthly cares and will be seeking to please your spouse in addition to pleasing God. I am renewing my dedication to seek God wholeheartedly in this season so that I can be a better disciple of Christ, and, as a byproduct of that, a better wife. Your time of “being single with Jesus” is truly precious. I encourage you to make the most of it, to enjoy it, and to let God be your joy. He will surely bless you as HE sees fit in HIS timing. Your dedication and discipline will definitely be worth it! I pray you find much joy and contentment in abandoning yourself to the one who loves you most! Surely, God’s presence in the secret place is the safest place to be!

  62. Great post today. It appears to have spoke to many. Feeling that Christmas is just a big commercial scam, spending too much money, people don’t typically appreciate what I did or got them, pictures all over Facebook of people at holiday parties, but never invited to any of them. Constancely doing for others but never on the receiving end… Not sure what the point of life is anyway

  63. Thank you for this devotion. It was for me. I’ m goibg through a divorce. Weari g the scarlett letter. The 5th wheel who doesn’t get invited to anything. Who was dropped like a hot potatoe. I do have a growing relationshup with the Lord. He is helping me write my story and I’ m hoping to get to speak for womens groups. So I found this set apart so helpful. Thank youfor this encouragement today. God used.you in my life today!!!

    • Angela I am also going through an unwanted divorce. I feel alienated from folks because of this but I am trying to move forward and not let these kind of folks ruin things for me. I feel the Lord is helpiong me to write my story to and one day he will use my heartache to reach women that need the help. Hang in there. You are in my prayers.

    • Angela, I’ve been there, done that, and survived. I lost friends and was dropped from my Sunday School class because they “assumed” I would no longer want to come to a couples class. In fact I desperately needed their love and support. Even worse, my ex-husband’s family turned against me. I want you to know that I survived and while it took a long, long time and I took two steps backward for every step forward, in the end I made it.

  64. Lysa, someday I would love to find you at a table all by yourself so I could join you. I would love to personally tell you what a joy you are to so many of us and how you have been used by God in our lives blog after blog, book after book, and conference after conference!

  65. Last Friday, the 12th, marked 9 years since I felt distinctly set apart. That day, my husband of 17 years had a massive stroke. Our three 7 yr old boys were (thankfully) asleep. As I waited for the ambulance and called a friend to watch the kids, I hit my knees knowing that God was holding my dear husband in His hands. I knew Satan wanted to destroy our family, but God had set this task before me. I knew I could only do it with His strength. I knew back then on that miserable night that there was a hard journey ahead….everything changed. Friends who hung out with us as a couple felt uncomfortable being with us and slowly drifted away. My girlfriends from past jobs, mom’s groups, and church just couldn’t relate to me anymore. It has been a lonely trip this almost decade. I am so blessed to have kept the house, our family intact….it seems selfish to miss some of the little things. My dear hubby is next to me, but not really there for me. He can’t focus or really plan with me – it’s hard to do what the two of us did together. A wheelchair is becoming a permanent fixture in our living area as it becomes harder for him to drag half his body around. Most days, weeks, months, I just power through bills, run boys to practices, do work, and do housework, but sometimes I just miss the simple things in our marriage and life: like the fact that he used to owe me one night of dancing a year or his warm hand holding mine as we walked into church or some other event.
    In 18 months, the boys will leave for college. As friends prepare for being empty-nesters, I wonder how I will physically care for him. I see the blessing of my hubby’s stroke now. Our family leans on the Lord much more than we would have. I just sometimes still feel that aloneness…in the bedlam of all my men. Thanks for reading this….I very much appreciate your ministry and pray for you all.

  66. Thank you so much for this devotion! God is so good!!! I read this right after dropping my children off at school. We piled in the car this morning to hear on the Christian radio station that this is Pastor Saaed’s third year in prison. My oldest daughter got so angry and she said,”How can a person continue to believe in God after being beaten, tortured, and imprisoned for 3 years? She said,”Mom, it would be hard to believe? How could God let this happen?” Then, I got home and read your devotion and peoples comments. It has strengthens my resolve to dig deeper into God’s word and lift others up in prayer. Satan wants us defeated, questioning God and his purposes… but here is this incredible man of faith Pastor Saaed who continues to have hope and be blessed at Christmas because of the gift that God gave in His son Jesus. Amazing!!

    Now, when I pick up my kids after school I can remind them that Pastor Saaed and many others aren’t set aside, but rather set apart. Jesus, thank you so much for this message so that I can grow in this season, be thankful for this time with you and count the blessings, and pray for the needs of others!!

  67. Stacie Ponder says:

    Lauren, maybe God did tell him to leave. Who knows for what reasoning. Maybe to save you some unneeded heartache, maybe to put you in a position of prep just as the devotion states. Consider it his loss and make God your number one priority and he will tell you things that you know not. By being faithful even in the difficult times if loneliness God will exalt you into the calling he has on your life. In due time once you have learned all he needs to teach you, you will hear him call your name and it will be exceedingly above and beyond all you could ever imagine!!! You ARE Called

  68. Good Morning..fellow readers & to you Lysa..as well…reading this comment sect this
    morning has been absolutely awesome…since i have had the privilege of enjoying the
    devotional & reading the responses..i don’t remember ever seeing so much ..
    compassion for each other..thank you to Mary B…she is another Nico Smith…with
    amazing encouragement…very cool…this is a pretty cool SISTERHOOD..!!!..this is what it is all about…helping each other thru the rough times & guiding them to God to
    take care of the rest..i am probably the worst @ that..trying to do it myself & then..
    realizing..ok..Kathy…it doesn’t work like that…(dummy)…try doing it the right way..!!!
    Duh…thank you guys…for your great encouragement & inspiration…..everytime i read
    these responses, esp. to the ladies who are really struggling w/a variety of stuff..it blows my mind…that there are so many of you guys that step up & do what God is ..
    nudging you to do..it is absolutely AMAZING TO ME..!!!..AMAZING..!!..i feel so honored & privileged to be a participant of Proverbs 31…readers…thank you guys…

    i hope you guys try to have a great & blessed day….kathy w

  69. This is a great and timely post. In the last week I have felt very lonely. It dawned on me one day that all the special people around me have their own very tight circle of friends that do things together and go places together. I don’t have that. I have friends that I talk to and such but no one that goes places with me or creates special events… like even going to the movies or dinner. It is basically just me and my kids. I guess I am ok with that until I see my friends all doing things and being there for their close friends. That whole idea of who would I call if I needed someone to drive me to a doctor’s appt or what group of friends would rally for me if I was in the hospital or simple things like that. I have no idea why I started thinking about this but it makes me wonder if there is something more I am to do with this situation since Lysa posted this very subject today.

    • Michele, I wonder the same thing. Everything you describe is what I am going through with the exception of kids at home. I am an empty-nester. Today is Labor Day and while it isn’t traditionally a holiday associated with friends and family (like Christmas or Thanksgiving) I wish I had someone to “hang out” with. My one friend is out of town.

  70. This struck a chord….that can happen to anyone. I too am a leader and appreciate your wise assessment. I recall a particular season when I kept choosing to follow the Lord’s direction regardless of the cost. There was much loneliness and the Andre’ Crouch lyrics stayed at the forefront of my thinking “In my lonely hour yes those precious lonely hours, JESUS let me know I was His own.” True. When those lonely seasons come…He provides the intimacy we need. Time after time He came through anc yes, I carefully honed my listening skills for that “still small voice.” I marveled when I read this account that on a human level there was no supervisor monitoring the event. It is painfully egregious and an indication of a coldness. Failure for ministry environment anywhere. Thank God He was with you and lifting you up!!

    • Beautifully Said Wally, I’ve been there too. God can make more of our lives than we could ever imagine on our own if we will but listen.

  71. This devotion really struck something inside me today. My husband walked out on his family about 10 months ago and I have went through a really lonely period in my life. I have looked everywhere to try and feel this spot of loneliness until one day God told me you are never alone I am with you at all times. This season is a very lonely time but God has really opened my eyes that I am much better off than alot of folks around me. I am taking this horrible experience that I have and will turn it around and help someone down the road. God will never leave us or forsake us.

  72. Wow-this message has my name on it.
    Thank you.

  73. I love reading this because it’s mirrors an experience I had shortly after my divorce. My kids were with their dad, so I decided to go to one of my church’s Christmas Eve services alone. I was fortunate to find an open pew since the sanctuary was filling quickly, and I was smiling and acknowledging familiar faces all around. Soon I noticed I was still the only person on a pew in a large and crowded place where extra chairs had been added to accommodate the overflow. Oh, the conversation I was having with God in the moment I realized I would remain alone on my pew. The service started, and we stood to greet those around us. I wished Merry Christmas to those in front and behind as my pew and me seemed to be under every spotlight in the darkened sanctuary. That very surreal circumstance has been a source of strength through the years. I was not alone in a very lonely time in my life.

  74. Scarlett Dawn says:

    I felt like the author of this is talking to me, and that God intended to talk to me through this.
    I have been recently dumped, I lost a life I dreamt of, and been feeling like I have been left at the altar. He made me believe a love that I never knew existed, he has shown everyone around us how he was planning to marry me, and he loved me the way I wanted to be loved right down to the minute details. He was so madly in love with me that it was even I who got scared most of the time, but even then, even then, I looked past all the fears and decided to allow myself to just love the man. I decided to choose him every single day, every single doubt, and every single time everyone around me he’s just break my heart. But he proved them wrong, and they actually also believed in him like I did. We were so in love, we had planned everything to be ready, plans of marriage and moving in together, we were already there. And then one day, he said he no longer feels the love he had for me. Something must have snapped, I denied myself the truth. He then proved them right, and left me without explanations. He just was gone. Everyone kept asking me what happened for they could not believe me when I said we were over. I wasn’t the only one who got surprised we ended it, everyone was telling me it’s going to get fixed and why don’t I try working things out. Some were mad though, for he promised me the love he let even God witness, literally. But I wasn’t the only one who cried, there were people who cried when they saw me get hurt. From my mom, to my aunts, and my friends. For a week I got nightmares, I couldn’t be left alone, I got morning sickness, appetite gone and I looked dead. I prayed every single day that he may come find his way home to me, I went to church almost everyday to beg God to change his mind, to return to him his feelings, I even told God I’d do anything He asks if he returns him to me, to make an exemption, a miracle.
    Then one day someone told me he has a new girlfriend. That’s when I knew I had to stop, that these are enough. I don’t deserve the pain. I know all the advices people tell me are now sinking in. And I decided to get up and get going. I stopped praying for him to get back instead I prayed for the hurt to be manageable, to make me a better person. If he comes back then good, if he doesn’t then okay.
    There are a lot of people talking to me, and a lot of opportunities coming my way. I miss him, I certainly and really do. I still do. But I don’t deserve all these anymore. I won’t let my faith be shaken. I will find a way to remake myself and will find true love for I am closer to finding it if I continue believing. I can’t wait to arrive on the day I’ll finally be able to say “I’m finally here and I’m happy.” 🙂

    • Hi, Scarlett,

      I am so sorry for what you have been through. I know the pain well, because I have recently been through it myself. It sounds like the man you were involved with is a narcissist. I don’t want to get too off topic on this message board, but it you Google narcissistic abuse, you may see some things that look very familiar to the pattern you have described here.

      I so understand the unbearable pain you are going through. What has helped me so immensely is clinging to the Lord at this time, spending quiet time with Him, crying out to Him and sharing all of my feelings and hurts with Him and asking Him to just help me make it through each day. One thing He has revealed to me so clearly is that HE took this man out of my life for very good reasons – some I know, and some I may never know. That man was NOT God’s best for me. In fact, he was very dangerous and dark and would have taken me away from the Lord completely if I had stayed with him and married him. It’s not an easy truth to accept, but acceptance is part of the healing process.

      Now, I feel lonely,very lonely. But God is bringing new people, friends and family into my life to enjoy, and strengthening some old relationships that were neglected during my time of “dating”. No, it’s not the same as having a love-interest, but it IS fellowship, and I am so grateful for it. Look around, I’ll bet there are people in your life (you mentioned close relationships with your family) who would appreciate your time and attention. Direct the love you had/have for the guy who left you toward them and toward our BEST friend and family – GOD.

      I’ll be praying for you.


      • Wesley Artrip says:

        Your words are so true..”fellowship is not love interest”..but it is time spent worthy..but what if life goes by empty..God’s “best” never shows up? Than what words fix that? Jesus got off lucky..try fourty more years of “forsakenness”.. you know what i mean..maybe not

  75. Setaside Sessions says:

    Thanks Lisa for your comments. It really struck me how many people have responded here and an facebook. I think a chord was struck in the hearts of many. I think the holidays take their toll on people…. Everything that seems like it should be the opposite. Seems like any people need many prayers and to feel our Father’s love as well as from people.

  76. PRAISE GOD!!! Iwas so angry at God last night and ranted at Him. I begged Him to help me and give me something to hold onto ad He used this! My 2 adult daughters have rejected us and my husband and I have no idea why! I have reached out to them numerous times to no avail. I have prayed and begged God to change it. I am starting a 2 year course on Christian counseling in Jan. and this has brought it into light what God is doing at this time. My oldest son died and that makes it harder. The loneliness of Christmas when others are with families is awful but this helped so much! LOVE YOU FOR HELPING US SO MUCH! Kathy Pfauth

  77. Loneliness seems to be a way of life for me. “The gift of loneliness” was an interesting thought, like the gift of singleness? I know that God continues to try to teach me that He is enough. In the long run, I don’t really need friends or even family to support me on a daily basis – He is the only one who is always there for me. As a young mom I feel alone so often! I don’t really have any friends and my husband and parents go off to work and experience life so much differently than I do. They don’t understand the kind of support that I need. So when work or social engagements take them away and leave me hanging with more than I feel like I can handle, I try to hold on to God’s presence! He will always be here with me to get me through!
    Christmas just complicates matters and leaves me feeling guilty. So much more to do, other people in my life are much more busy. Not to mention that Christmas doesn’t negate the demands of small children. Fits still happen, they still need their naps and schedule and nobody else really understands how that steals my joy. I know I should be enjoying Christmas with my kids, but it’s more of a struggle than anything else. My kids are 5, 3, and 22 months and I am 17 weeks along with our fourth. I’m honestly just too tired to find any enjoyment in the holidays. I feel guilty and lonely, because everyone else seems so happy! I’m really trying, but I have needed to express all of this in a place where someone might understand. I know there must be other young moms who are too overwhelmed by kids to get into the season, I just don’t know any!

  78. Like so many of my sisters who have already posted above, this devotion came at just the right time. Thank you Lysa for sharing this to help me look at things from a different place. And I thank all of you that have shared words of encouragement, which has also helped tremendously. We are, indeed, set apart, and NOT set aside. We must remember too that the closer the time gets to our Lord’s return, the more set apart we will be and feel as “we turn our eyes upon Jesus and look full in His wonderful face, and the things of this world will grow strangely dim, in the light of his glory an grace”. Blessings and Merry Christmas my sweet sisters in Christ.

    • Jennifer,
      Isn’t God wonderful? These encouraging words came just at the right time for me also. I totally agree with what Lysa said but I’m just now realizing this myself! I wish you a very Merry Christmas and may our Lord guide each of us on this site along with Lysa, exactly where He would have our (set apart) assignment for the coming New Year!

  79. Lysa, this is me! I joke with my husband about how those type of situations you mentioned, always seem to happen to me…but sometimes, I really just want to cry. It’s been this way my whole life. I am that one in a million that will walk through an amusement parking lot and find that proverbial gum and step in it…(it really happens). HA! Remember the cartoon, It’s The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown? Most laugh when everyone gets candy and Charlie Brown is always given a rock…I want to cry.

    Thank you for your encouraging words. Everything you mentioned, I totally agree. Merry Christmas!

  80. Wow Wow Wow is all I can say at this point to this devotion.Lysa you are so spot on…I’m officially 1 wk into my divorce.(one that I didn’t want),son doing drugs & acting crazy, going through on my job,financial ploblems,small family & we are feuding,issues in my body & absolutely no friends.I will say though inspite of it all, after praying & crying so much I have felt like I shouldn’t have any more tears to cry.God is starting to give me peace inspite of everything & I do mean everything that’s going so, although I dnt understand way so many things all at once & why at this time im all alone.I will just say THANK U LORD…For he knows just how much I can bare!!!God bless u ALL!!!

  81. Margaret Potts says:

    This is just how I feel right now. I am heavily involved in coffee,inks try in church as well as Sunday school and prayer ministry but I feel so alone. Thank you,for,showing me that maybe I am being set apart by God and not left out. X

  82. Thank you for sharing this devotion..I have really been struggling with lonliness since my husband died 8 yrs ago..it’s been sooo hard to deal with..I have churvh friends, etv but they have their mates..so fellowship is limited..I really don’t go anywhere but church & shopping as I hate going alone.. I’m retired so no social life there..live in a sm country community..never dreamed I’d end up so a lone..seems my prayers for a mate are going nowhere…this devotion has helped me have a different perspective..thank you!

  83. Thanks for the encouragement today! Really related & needed to hear this today!

  84. Hannah,

    Praying for you!! Being the mom to little ones is such a hard, often lonely job. Although there are many blessings, it can feel very lonesome and not “set apart.”” Please be emcouraged from one who has three school age kids herself that are extremely close in age, that this stage does pass. Is there a Women’s Bible Study or MOPS group you can be apart of in your area or church?

    I’ll never forget feeling lonely and not purposeful when my oldest was 4, we had a 2 1/2 year old, and it was days before Christmas and I was 38 weeks pregnant. I was excited and yet, I felt melancholy at the same time. You aren’t the only one who feels this way, and you aren’t alone. Pour your heart out to God, because He loves you and knows how you feel. God has set you apart!! You are loved!!! Prayers and sweet blessings over you!!!

  85. Please if you remember me can you pray for my girl’s group? We need some compassion, and a heavy dose of God’s love for all of us.

  86. Great word, just last night driving home after work I was so upset. I was crying out to God how some coworkers & bosses act like if I’m not even in the same room. And this morning I read this post. Praise God.
    I’ve been feeling alone my whole life. At this point in my life I don’t have any friends that I can call when I’m hurting. Many so called Christians say let’s get together,so I ask them to let me know when they are free and I will compare to my schedule,& Yea they suddenly have amnesia because they never get back to me. And they do this every time & every time I fall for it. I get so annoyed when I hear ministers say if you are lonely or friend less it’s because you need to be a friend or you need to be more friendly. It’s like one is to blame. I just want to stand up & say that is not truth. I hope someone can relate & understand where I’m coming from.
    I’ve come to notice most Christians are false, they don’t keep their word or they are full of excuses. But I have to keep my eyes on Jesus. Most people say your not lonely you always have three people with you, God, Jesus & Holy Spirit.
    I know this but some days I need someone to hold me or do an activity with or go grab meal.ugg.
    I know about waiting for many have prophesied over me and many years later still waiting. One can really lose it and start to think is all this Christian belief true. But I run to the living WORD and try to drown out the lies. Not always a success but getting better.
    Thanks for this post and please pray for me.

    • God Is Faithful, I am in a similar situation with waiting for people to get back to me and then they never do. I’d love to keep my mind on Jesus but He can’t meet me at Starbucks or enjoy a movie with me. I need someone with skin on!

  87. I can totally relate. I recently went to a Christmas party with two of my daughter’s. Although we sat together we sat by ourselves most of the night. And we knew almost everyone there. It wasn’t until the host of the party wanted to pay a few games that we were moved. Mostly because “our” table didn’t have enough to participate alone. So we were combined with another table.
    I did talk to a couple ladies for a bit but other than that my daughter’s and I helped with clean up said our good byes and left.

  88. Ah yes… the ‘feeling’ of being ‘alone’. Went through so much of that after my husband passed away – didn’t experience the loss of friends specifically but it did change things. II Cor. 1:3-5 became my mantra and practice – using the way God comforted me and in turn comfort others. Now I seek out those who are alone and draw them in. Thanks so much for this timely reminder!

  89. I can relate to this on every level – Christmas time is the hardest time of year for me & little girl….. single now for 6 yrs & no father for my child – she longs for a daddy as she has never had that in her little life – God says no man should walk alone – & yet i have & i do… I too thought he had forgotten me – I now feel & believe & trust that he has not – he is just preparing me & in his time, not mine… which is the hardest thing to accept i find ~ his timing. lol… however i have to hold onto the Dream as the Dream is Everything that my beautiful twin flame is out there we are just both being prepared for our unity. I have learnt to just BE during these hard years & i am now at peace deep within my soul. Feeling healed, safe, secure & ready for my journey. Women are Warriors ~ Stay Strong ~ Believe ~ Love & Light ✫¸.•°*”˜˜”*°•.✫

  90. I experience what Lysa experienced (in her scenario) every week when I attend church AND have been experiencing this for years, but I know I am supposed to be at this church, as does my husband who also experiences the same loneliness. We are preparing to move to another state and have felt God’s call on our lives for this move for many years. We are praying that our new church family will be a family by whom we feel loved and we pray we don’t feel lonely wherever God plants us in the new state. The irony is that when we first came to our current church we felt very loved and accepted, and our church is known in the community as a very loving church where folks do not feel lonely. It’s been a hard place to stay, but we know we are in God’s will.

  91. Amy Morgan says:

    I have been in a season of loneliness for the last 4 yrs. God has taught me so much and I see why He took me down the road I have been on. I am grateful for the work He had done… But I feel ready. I just don’t want to feel lonely anymore. Will you please pray for me?

  92. June Morris says:

    I not sure that I feel lonely, maybe plain sad but my mother passed away October 4 of this year. She was 84 and my sisters and I watched her fade away and take her last breath. It was such a sacred time ;we were just quiet. Now it is Dec. 16 and granddaughter Nora turned one. One new life. I like to be very quiet and just think about all the things my mom did for me. The most important was to bring me into the house of the Lord. I miss her this Christmas. I teach Children’s Church at my church. We have five children now. They are precious. I choose to limit my weekly activities because I need to once again be quiet to listen to the Lord speak to me. I appreciate all the comments and pray that the loneliness will change into deep relationships and many new friendships and going deeper with our Lord Jesus Christ.

  93. I am overwhelmed by the number of responses on this topic. I too felt as though your message was designed for me…from the Lord. It seems so ironic that we are all feeling alone and have compassion for eachother, but still are alone. I wonder, if I were to meet any of you in person, would I reach out? or would I be so consumed in my lonliness that I remain disconnected and continue the cycle of setting myself aside? I do thank God for his mercy and compassions which are new every morning; may I be able to do the same to another lonely person.

  94. Laura, you are so honest and transparent about where you are and what you are experiencing. I think if we are all as honest as you we have all felt this loneliness. Over many years I have come to experience just how deeply God loves me. I wish there was a step1,2 and three but the journey is different for each of us. But I believe God is faithful and He wants to bring you through this with his joy.
    If you want to message me, I would be happy to sit with you at your table of life and just talk about this God hope he wants to give each of us. I am no Pollyanna, I have many issues including severe scholioses in my spine. But I have His Joy and it’s more than I deserve, more than I could ever ask for. Love you dear sister,

  95. Hello Sisters in Christ,
    I can relate to so many of your posts.
    It is in relationship that has caused so much pain and loneliness. It’s been over three years since I have been separated from my ex. I have repeatedly made attempts over the years to contact him in loving kindness. All have been ignored and set aside. He would much rather do projects, then communicate with me.
    I try not to feel sad, then I feel like I’m going to explode in rage. I always turn to God for help in times like these.
    All your comments help me to realize I am not alone. It feels sometimes like the pain is never ending. I know that I must take charge of my own happiness and mostly I do ok these days. I just pray that his heart will be warm and loving towards me once again. God Bless you all!

  96. What a great message! For the past year now, I’ve been recovering from depression and an eating disorder. I can’t tell you how hard it’s been for me to do simple things like go to church, or to the women’s bible study. When I’m at bible study, conversation is forced, full of small talk, and awkward. When I’m at church, I sometimes sit by myself. It’s during these moments that my insecurities are the most intense. Thanks for reminding me that this period of healing in my life is about the Lord setting me APART, not other people setting me aside. I can’t wait to see what I’m being prepared for. Loved reading all of your comments!

  97. I so get those feelings of loneliness. My biggest fear is being in a room and not finding a place to sit! It happened to my family of four at a Thanksgiving meal with our church family. We ask several people if these chairs were available and the answer was always no. So we ended up leaving and I felt so painfully rejected personally. But what I took from that experience beside the fear of it happening again is to never let someone else feel that way. My husband and I always invite a lost looking person to join us and even go as far as adding extra seats to the table. It may have been an awful feeling but I took it to use for good.

    • Joy, I thought I was the only one who had that fear! I love the Wednesday night fellowship dinners at my church but finding a place to sit is agonizing. Even people who know me never ask me to sit with them. You’d think I was carrying the ebola virus. But I stick it out because I am a very stubborn person.

  98. Thank you so very much for this devotion. I have been “there” a lot … a lot. I know the pain and heartache. I also know that still, small, precious, kind voice that belongs to my Lord, who was sitting with me, holding my hand, proud to call me His daughter … to be set apart for Him. Oh, thank you, Lysa, for this deovtion. God bless you abundantly with joy unspeakable today!

  99. Carla Brennan says:

    Thank you, Lisa, for such a perfectly, providentially timed devotional. I have been struggling with an overwhelming sense of loneliness as a single mom for the last 3 years and with the upcoming Christmas holiday that I do not get to spend with my 3 children, the feeling is almost unbearable. However, I know that I know that I know that I am never alone in Christ. Your words of encouragement are like salve to an aching soul and I can tell you that the Holy Spirit just fell over me in a wave of head to toe chill bumps as I read your central message of being set apart as opposed to being set aside. I know with every fiber of my being that God is preparing me for something so amazing and I really needed your beautiful reminder.

    Many blessings to you and your family and your ministry!

    Carla Brennan

  100. Thanks to everyone who posted! I believe that we all experience loneliness at different times in our lives for the very purpose of being able to listen to the Holy Spirit and crave our Father over every other relationship. I love what Lysa penned, “To be set apart is to be given an assignment that requires preparation.” The Lord showed me one day that the reason I was “lonely” was because I was not doing what He calls all Christians to do: make disciples. Once I agreed with Him and began to ask Him to bring ladies into my life to disciple….He did just that!! From young children to teenagers to young moms 🙂 I must say that it is the most rewarding and fulfilling assignment I’ve ever had because that’s what we were created to do. It’s been amazing to see how He has brought them into my path. I’ve never had a lot of “girlfriends” to do activities with and I thank the Lord for it. These types of relationships can be huge time wasters and even hinder us from being quiet with the only One who can satisfy our souls. May we continue to encourage each other to stay focused on the main goal and enjoy the preparation stage of our calling. Merry Christmas!!

  101. Thank you for this! I can point to times throughout my life that I’ve dealt with these feelings… straight from the enemy! I’ve always found it difficult to form deep friendships with other women and the ones I have felt were meaningful have turned out not to be reciprocal. I’ve prayed for God to bring that one woman or group that I could look to for spiritual support or even just that I could call to go to coffee. As a stay at home mom and now feeling led by the Spirit to persue homeschooling (not a popular decision among Christians in my area), I fear that God is leading me into even more isolation. I love that God gave you the words, “set apart.” One lesson I’ve definitely sensed God teaching me over many years is that I am to fully depend on Him. Only in His presence will I find true satisfaction and I need to trust that He is enough!

  102. stacy potter says:

    Thank you for writing this. Just what I needed.

  103. Wow! Read our mail, huh? Love set apart versus set aside–that resonates. Thank you for this beautiful perspective, Lysa.

  104. After dealing with the death of my spouse and my brother’s suicide and being deceived by a minister, I fell for the lies the enemy was yelling at me; that no one cared about me and my emotions. I resisted trusting anyone because I didn’t want to be hurt again. Your words opened my eyes today. What a difference between being set aside and being set apart; and I finally understand the profound difference. Thank You for a timely message. God is so good.

  105. Carol Russell says:

    Wow! I just have to say I have felt this the majority of my life. I truly believe it is partly a family curse which I know my dad had too. Feelings of being alone and unnoticed by those who are your friends and family. Its like being in a bible study and your one of the church leaders, and although people talk to you it is not the depth of someone who “knows” you and accepts you. But one thing the Lord reminds me “you are accepted” you are loved and only He can fill the need of loneliness. How you allow the Lord to fill it is turning your thoughts off the emptiness to His fulness. In His presence is fulness of joy, peace and loving rest.

  106. Lauren,
    I have been exactly where you are. My ex husband left me and our 3yr old daughter a couple of yrs ago for his girlfriend. His girlfriend “led him to Christ” and they even went to a marriage conference as a couple at their church while we were still married. I’m not saying to judge because that’s not our place however not everyone who “claims” to be a Christian is. Even the bible in Mathew, says not everyone who says lord will enter heaven. Just don’t be fooled by his excuse. God is very clear about how he feels about divorce if it doesn’t follow his word it’s not his word. Keep your head up and eyes on God! Focus on him and read his word for truths. Praying Gods peace for you!

  107. Thank you for this reminder. My husband and i have been in a “waiting and lonely” stage the last 6 months or so. We are far from our families and are just waiting on confirmation for a job that will move us back home to them. It’s been frustrating and hard. I love how you wrote about looking for the gift of being humbled, lonely and silenced. My husband and i have experienced all of these things. However, when we sit down together we realize how much of a blessing this time in our life really is and we know we are going to benefit and look back on it someday and be so thankful we had this time. It has made my husband and I stronger as a couple and as parents. Like you, it has made me search out the ones that look like they are alone. It has given us a lot of time to walk and talk to God about our frustrations, desires, and thankfulness. Even though we aren’t out of this stage yet, when I just sit back and look around me, I can’t help but thank the Lord for this. I look at our families back home and i see how busy and distracted they are. Marriages and family relationships are falling apart and it almost seems like no one truly values each other. It seems as though people are just doing whatever they want whenever they want. This time in our lives has helped me understand how to allow my husband to lead me and to be his right hand woman. It’s given us time to save money so we will be more than ready for a move and everything else that comes with it. It’s forced us to remain silly and fun for each other and our daughter. All that to say, thank you for the reminder and I am truly thankful for the way God blesses us in crazy unexpected ways.

  108. Bonnie Nelson says:

    Hi! As an encouragement, I’d like to share that after many years of aloneness with bouts of pity parties & intense loneliness (before marriage, during marriage & 20+ years of being divorced), I am surprised to be thankful for being alone. I still enjoy family & friends but a hunger for Jesus has begun to overwhelm me….I am truly still in awe of God’s leading me ‘here’ & look forward to this new season! Lord, bless each of us & lead us on the path You have ordained for us. 🙂

  109. Stephenie Kennedy says:

    Once again, thank you.
    I am a hairstylist. I was recently told by the owner of the salon that I worked for that “this isn’t a good fit for you
    I have had several complaints from other stylists that you don’t have the right personality to work here.”

    In my mind, I though, “what?? are you kidding me?? I could make friends with a turtle!! I am outgoing, friendly, caring, compassionate, loving and talk about God with every client!!”
    Maybe this is the problem. But I didn’t care. I simply thanked her for the opportunity to work at that salon and moved my belongings out.
    This was almost two months ago and I am still doing hair from the house. Praying for guidance, wisdom, understanding and waiting. Waiting. Waiting.
    Your words have shed so much light. Thank you. I was not set aside. I was set apart. I just want to hug you!!!

  110. Thank you for the devo. I often feel very lonely at work and church. Feeling different in every place you turn can be hard.

  111. rolltide_ann says:

    what an amazing comfort when we realize just how special we are and God does set us apart. He does it for a reason. HIS reason. To give us an opportunity for growth? To have us humbled? To build strength within us? To grow our relationship with Him? Amazing. Amazing. Amazing grace – how sweet the sound – that saved a wretch like me. I once was lost, but now I’m found – was blind but now, I see. Listen for His voice. Search daily for His face.

  112. sonja cribb says:

    I’m waiting for God to show me my purpose, I feel stuck in a precise, confused not knowing if I’m coming or going, I pray to God every night, to get up and out of this hold I’m under, I know its in his time though, alone I San Angelo Texas, just me and God, he is my biggest supporter.

  113. Deborah Hicks says:

    I just had an amazing experience of realizing God guiding me to your article. I had read this article several months ago and had saved it to dropbox. Today I have been feeling down but was going thru my day. To do a search for airline tickets I had cleared out my cookies in my browser earlier and need to sign back into some website. While they my passwords are mostly similar but because each website has their own rules for passwords I can never remember what password is for which site. So I have them in an encrypted file I was going to look up the password. Then I came across the saved file and read it again. I immediately started feeling better but when I thought about the events that had occurred up to that point I realized that God was directing me all morning to the point of me coming across the saved file. What an amazing feeling being about to recognize God working!

  114. Today – I experienced deep loneliness for the first time in my life. I’m 43 so it blindsided me. Worthlessness, futility, rejection and extreme ugly in one swamping foul cloud.
    I always prided myself on my self-sufficiency. Such arrogance!
    Lysa – thank you for sharing your experience and His anointed message He gifted you to pass onto us in crisis. Thank You Jehovah God for leading us to Your comfort in our distress.
    His love to All.

  115. Meredith Snyders says:

    I was feeling left out tonight when my mom, aunts, and cousins took a spontaneous road trip to a lake cabin and didn’t invite me. They planned it all right in front of me but made it known that I wouldn’t be included. Just a few years too young. It’s hard, at family functions, when I’m too old (17) for the young kids, but too young for the adults to take me seriously. I was feeling so excluded, misunderstood, sad, lonely, and angry. I went home, cried, and googled ‘prayers for when you’re excluded’ and came across this. Now, I’m taking it as an opportunity to learn more about myself. Instead of going with them and feeling out of place and unwanted, I can stay here and reflect on the lessons that God is teaching me… Life isn’t always fair, but the people who don’t want you around aren’t worth having in your life anyway. Thankful for this site 🙂

  116. i am alone in my beliefs, as those around me take no interest in Christianity or God’s Plan… and when i talk about my feelings, or my love for Christ, I get those looks… I’m sure you all know what I’m talking about. I feel about 2 feet tall sometimes. I need a church or just someone who believes, in my life. its so hard to be Alone. But maybe I’m supposed to be. Maybe God needs me to learn something. Thank you for posting this.

  117. I love all of you and wish we could all get together for a girls’ night out. I’ve been divorced for over 20 years and am now a empty-nester and grandmother. The older you are, the harder it is to make friends.

    As much as I hate being lonely, it’s far better than being with people who don’t really want you and only invited you out of pity. The first Thanksgiving after my divorce, when the youngun’ was at her father’s, I was invited to dinner at the home of a woman from church. I was rather surprised as I didn’t know her that well. I went and was completely excluded. She was a teacher and had invited some other teachers from her school who had nowhere to go. I suppose she tacked me on at the end because I also had nowhere to go. During the dinner not one single person spoke to me or tried to get to know me, not even my hostess. They discussed teaching, school, etc. I am not a teacher so I couldn’t join in. Every time I tried to change the subject I was ignored. I finally got up, took my plate to the kitchen, and left through the back door. I doubt if they ever noticed I was gone. That unpleasant experience taught me a valuable lesson.

    I guess all I can say is hang in there. Which isn’t much.

  118. I needed this. I have felt set aside by my husband, my siblings, and my children. I shared with my husband my loneliness to which he said I’m too sensitive. At the time I was angry with him feeling once again rejected and wondering why God is letting this happen. This post a year ago is new to me today and continues to speak TRUTH! Praise the Lord and blessings to you for being sensitive to the Holy Spirit and writing these words.

  119. of course like your website but you have to test the spelling on several of your posts. Several of them are rife with spelling issues and I to find it very troublesome to tell the truth however I’ll certainly come again again.

  120. Michelle says:

    I feel so a lone. I know this was written several years ago, but in my church I feel so a lone. I try to invite people out, nothing seems to happen naturally. Please pray that I will make some friends at my church. Genuine friends.

  121. I’ve always felt alone and a sadness that’s so overwhelming I’ve treated people kindly even though I’ve been through so much in life you’d think I’d be hateful I forgive people over and over I accept what I’ve done wrong and I ask for forgiveness my family always takes things out on me and try to hurt me even if I’ve done nothing wrong I guess it’s always easier to take things out on someone you know won’t say anything back I recently started thinking maybe God wants me to be alone because they are not worthy of the heart God has given me even though I believe that I can’t help but feel very depressed and lost I have no one to talk to because I can’t trust my family they will judge me and gossip about me and I don’t have friends because I can never keep them … I don’t know what to do this is heavy on my heart and it’s eating me up what’s wrong with me ?

  122. Bodie Gentry says:

    I think it is so sad that the “alone people” cannot be given or find a way to meet with others. I am good to people, I love, forgive all at time of anything, I am first of all a born again Bible reading, believing, living the righteous life Jesus has made possible for me to have–I don’t Bible thump and preach it down throats; I live it, and I enjoy talking about what He does in our lives. I am a workaholic, in home and yard which seems to make others mad, but I don’t expect others to do as I do, just not undo what I try to do. I am a retired nurse, knowledgeable, do Holy Spirit-filled letters and poems, decorating, financial planner, and feel good about myself—but am treated very badly by others that just seem to say, “Roll over and die, get out of my way.” My adopted children have nothing to do with me, as well—saying, “Since I became a Christian”; I have always been a Christian but have grown—and they chose to follow the path of other—. It is all so hard; can someone tell me what I am doing so wrong that I turn everyone “off”. I do not brag on self as seems here, nor do I talk about what others do to me—so how can we make lasting friendships? Had a few, but when they saw my house, it was as though they hated me. I am a professed germ-aphobic, like organization, so a bit of a neat freak—but I do not expect that of others. I literally want out of this world, but am very healthy and know that God wants me here to “if nothing else–to show people we do not have to be as they are—when they so abuse—other than that, since stopping work outside my home–and way too much to keep up here by myself- no time to get out. I don’t know why He won’t just allow me to go Home to Him. I hope this is not too depressing —I just know there are many going through same and our churches are not meeting our needs—they are more business, so I do all off TV. Each city should have some café to go to etc., but no one can take chances on anyone anymore. I hope that someone will be helped to know, they are not the only one’s going through this. I do not in any way reject my two children for their lifestyles of living together, substances, etc.–but believe they just feel too convicted by the presence of light and Jesus in me to want me around. They don’t even call; I know it is all the devil and I do read and pray—but God made us not only for Himself—but that we need each other. I have no trouble humbling myself to ask for help, nor problem admitting I am wrong—something that others just don’t do anymore. Bodie

  123. I am not that computer knowledgeable—can anyone tell me what needs changed that right side of messages are blocked when trying to print? Thanks, Bodie

  124. Please send notifications whenever anyone posts; we can all help another. Bodie

  125. Hello Everyone,
    I am new to this site also. I’ve been going through loneliness for a while. I remember being a young lady and a lonely hurt. I am friendly, funny and not afraid to meet new people. I’m also a recovering addict, clean 13 years. I don’t go to meetings anymore just church. Where is this loneliness coming from? Nothing external can fix this, I pray and feel better for a while and it comes back, its a constant battle. Everyone, family & friends are busy and don’t have time and I try not to look to them to fix me. I know that the scriptures are our medicine, somehow I’ve lost the way to live and embrace them… I’m in a dry place!!!

    Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated…

    • Welcome to us both new on here just yesterday. The only real answer to loneliness outside of all we do spiritually–is connecting with other people. The world is all going mad because anymore this all seems impossible to do. Sunday evening on Focus on The Family, radio, their discussion was all about women trying to find others to connect with—that really click. Our problem is that the churches are not doing their job to bring people together—and I don’t mean fairs and games. I used to belong to a large church and younger singles were able to plan gatherings, go places—but his Mother would never approve those of older say 35-50 until “day of”, just so we could not. Said didn’t want responsibility —what about the younger with more active sex drives? Our churches sit empty most of the time, but should be open and run by volunteers so that people can come in, talk, have a snack, feel accepted—then they would be more likely to get involves in church activities and helping with things needing done.—-but it is their business–their idea–and they are not open to outside input. I tried by letter. I feel so held back because I don’t know how to social media. I would like to have my own blog–so much I would like to express—and feel that in some way could help another along the way—but just don’t know how. As far as the churches—they may be teaching John 3:16—but are so lax in not also teaching John 3:3; and as long as people just go to church to feel better, to satisfy mate, or to enhance their business opportunities—the true born again Bible believing Christians will remain lonely. People may say prayer of salvation—but unless one continues with Him and grows in Him; all they will hear (in my opinion) is “Depart from Me, I never knew you.”—-but churches even TV ministries won’t go that far—truly I believe many ministers do not really read all the Bible. I understand it is the lost that need to come in—but unless a person, in reasonable time frame—chooses to turn from old ways—-they are not truly following Christ, just trying to feel better. I CANNOT HANDLE ALL THE STRONG COLOGNES, AFTER SHAVES, SUBSTANCE ABUSE SMELLS, NOR THE AIR CONDITIONER BLOWING FULL-FORCE ONTO ME, NEEDED BY PEOPLE OF EXCESS WEIGHT! Churches need to adopt true camp meeting, hot and heavy, sold out to God WORSHIP. I saw reference books at Christian bookstore of sermons they can just copy; how sad! If not from The Holy Spirit and thus from one’s own heart—-may be reason why so many leave churches unfulfilled. Sure wish I were at locations of more dedicated, learned pastors like, Robert Jeffress, John Hagee, David Jeremiah, Crefflo Dollar, Dennis Mc Bride, to name a few, and there are others—-but I cannot find that and the acceptance in my local area—churches all seem to be family businesses first. Sorry, so long, I really need an outlet, and I sure don’t want to go clean house, but good for the soul and body. Have a Blessed Day to all, in Jesus, Bodie

  126. Patryce says:

    I am 54 years old, never married, live alone, and saved in the Lord. It’s a rainy day outside. I recently lost my job. I’m still mourning the recent loss of my mother and I’m looking for a new place to live. I’m feeling quite lonely, and I began as many times before asking God, “Why must all my trials be so hard?”

    Within my thoughts, God reminded me, “Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers us from them all.” Psalm 34:19.

    Then I began to think how wonderfully bless I am to be a single woman, living alone and how I am blessed to not fornicate and how God has blessed me to possess my vessel in holiness and has blessed my mind to not think about or desire sex, and to be content living alone. Nothing but the Holy Spirit of God dwelling in me can do this. I also am content with not dating. I know God’s Word says two are better than one (Ecc. 4:9); but he must be the one to bring the two together that he created for each other, if it’s his will.

    I began to feel better as I reflected on God’s goodness. I am blessed that my heart can be uplifted because my mind is made up to stay with the Lord no matter what. I also reached out on the Internet to express my loneliness and found this site.

    As I read many of the stories I felt the genuine truth shared from your hearts. It was very authentic and real heartfelt. Very encouraging! This is probably my first time sharing my personal, private feelings online being that I am a very private person and do not involve myself much with social media.
    I wish you all many blessings and encourage you to “Wait on the Lord.”

    “But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; they shall walk, and not faint.”


  127. MissDebra says:

    Hello Bodie and sisters in the Lord,

    I too am going through loneliness and rejection. In fact if I look at my life objectively, I have always been set apart to the Lord, even when I had children in the home and was married. I have suffered the rejection of my own parents who do not desire the Jesus I know. They dislike Christ in me, therefore they dislike me. It has been this way ever since I was a child. For some reason, I do not get used to it. I keep hoping that one day they will turn to Him, and also hope that I will find true fellowship with a sincere body of believers. What I find instead is hypocrisy and the same rejection Jesus experienced. It seems that the more I grow in love, patience and kindness, the more I forgive others, the more I am separated from the world, and that means from a whole lot of people.

    On the other hand, God has to remind me of the people He uses in my life now, to reach a hand out to me, sometimes even complete strangers. It is not all rejection, and not all bad. When I get in the self pity mood, I do forget the kindness that some show me. I know I don’t experience that close BFF relationship I would like to have with a Christian sister, but there are people who have gone out of their way to show me they do care.

    I do wonder though about the type of relationship God speaks of for the brethren, like in the early church. Where has it gone, where people drop their facades and become transparent to each other. My transparency seems to scare many away.

  128. It is comforting to be close to the Lord and know I am not truly alone … but sometimes you just want someone with skin on to come along side you … and like many of you my own loneliness has made me sensitive to others who are alone … my husband has early stages of dementia and is not much company these days … he is very childlike … I think the loneliest thing in the world is to be a part of a large church … which we are … not because we want to be but because most all of the churches in our denomination in this area are mid mega churches … trying to find others to fellowship with is difficult … I go to church many times by myself … I think the loneliest times are Wednesday nights … I look around the room for a familiar face and find none … so it is just me and the Lord … and that is OK most times … but deep down my heart longs to “belong” … to have a clique or a group that I can be with on a regular basis … we have no family except for a daughter and granddaughter who both have a life of their own …t hey are good to us but they can’t feel this friendship void and shouldn’t … churches need to us how to have community … to look out for those who don’t quite fit … because of life circumstances or by choice … I get burned out trying to take the initiative … would be so nice to have people “pull me in” once in a while …

  129. Thank you for sharing

  130. Deepu Joy says:

    Nice article that inspired me with hope

  131. I’m not feeling lonely I AM lonely. Rejected by my family for loving an addict who had his strengths and weaknesses like us all. He left me, started using again had a botched operation, suffered and died. My family convinced my son that I kept him from contact with them (only when they insisted on discussing adult issues with him at nine)

    My whole life my mom has told me one day she’d get sick of my crap and never speak to me again. And that I better appreciate her often and with my whole heart and never complicate my life with men, work only and devote myself to her. Hence my devotion to an imperfect but not entirely rotten man.

    My church referred me to a shelter that said I’m too independent and they require you get rid of all but 5 outfits, basic grooming, laptop and/or phone and start fresh. You must work full time but be home by 6 pm via bus. Many places will not hire you without your own private vehicle, insurance and license (way of getting around that pesky illegal issue) Let alone a 2 hr or more bus commute which is not safe. All this for $150 a week, plus 20 hrs a week chores, and a 10 pm curfew Fri and Sat) They said they were geared for people who did not know how to make decisions for themselves and had no suggestions to keep doing it my way.

    I’m tenacious to a fault, and even I recognize my life is a barren empty mess, yet I love the Lord I just have no light and would scare unbelievers away.

    I’m DESPERATE for a support system and people I can trust. Psychos are drawn to me as the woman to cheat on their wife with….good people draw away from me but say they pray for me. Well, the Bible says to pray for your enemies….I need friends and a mentor or two to walk with me besides the Holy Spirit.

  132. I thank God I came across this website I’ve never really felt like I was of this world even as young as 9 I don’t remember having friends I use to cut paper dolls out of news paper to have friends to play with I some time wonder was it because I was raised by my grand mother and she didn’t allow anyone to come over so I was always alone and felt very alone as I got older I thought maybe I could have lots of friends but never has that been the case still to this day which I’m 43 now I feel as though I’m not of this world I hear people say show your self friendly as it says in the word if God I don’t see how I don’t show my self friendly I often think maybe because I never really experienced being around people growing up maybe I have that vibe I don’t want to be bothered but that is so not the case I try to put myself out there and have conversations with the lot of women I am Saved a child of the most high God and I talk to the Lord all the time because I truly don’t understand how can a person feel so alone around so many people as tho you don’t exist..so I try and stay focus on the word if God praying He will eventually send the right ones when I complete the task that is laid for me which I pray my strength in the Lord because it’s very hard to be a child of His and feel so lonely..praying the Lord show me soon what I have been asking for years?

  133. Sylvianne Coquet says:

    I am sixty years and single how can jesus possibly know how I feel they say jesus was never lonely.i was rebuked for when I said I was lonely.that it was self pity.

  134. I don’t celebrate “Christmas” as it is both Catholic and Pagan. (I am neither). My family is dead, my children are dead, I am divorced, (5 years +). I don’t fit in at any local church (single men over 60 are only used as laborers, no thanks). Single men are only seen as a threat to the “family unit” in churches. As a result, isolation is the norm. “Inclusivity” may apply to women, families and children, but men? Forget it. I observe some holidays (Easter and National holidays). I am a Veteran from the Vietnam era, but most vets from the period don’t discuss it much. Veterans Day and Independence day mean more than just a “party”.

    I have since left the church and study the Bible by myself. That must suffice. Other than that, I spend most of my time alone and with my talents and hobbies.

    Trust me, days get long.

    • How much I feel the same as you. Yes days get long. The feeling never seems to leave. Like some long distant feeling of something lost.

  135. Recently my extended family has neglected to consider me to participate in activities that everyone else has been invited too and it cut me deep. Not mad at Jesus Christ but hurt and upset i felt disconnected and like a outsider to my family. Like they felt me not worthy enough to even be considered to join them. Thanks to your post here it helps me a little even though it still hurts. Is it wrong that i feel unwelcome in their home? Does that make me any less of a man of god that i can not go to that house because of that feeling? How can i still look at myself and see Christ in me if i can not go to a place that makes me feel uncomfortable? He died on the cross for my sins no matter how many i commit , no matter how bad they are. I am walking through one deep valley right now.

  136. I can so relate to some of the relpies here. I am so lonely. I’m 47 and I’ve been single 25 years now. I can’t believe its been that long. I’ve all but given up on finding someone but I’m consumed with desire for a husband. Life just has no meaning, I just wish I could die. I have no self-esteem, no joy so how will I ever attract a man? Its hard for me to believe God loves me when he says he will give us the desires of our hearts yet this is all I desire and still nothing. My youth has faded….

    • Rachel:
      I to can relate to how you are feeling, I have actually been in the same place as you are, actually I have been there just recently, I am 49 years old, shy of 50 and I have been divorced for almost 11 years now. Rachel, I want to share a story with you that might help you, for so long I prayed and prayed to God for answers as to why all these things where happening to me, why was I having to go through so much heartache and loneliness and why did I never get rewards, I was living right, better than some of these people who had things. Last year I was involved last year with a natural man who showered me with love and affection, showed me how to love and what it felt to be in love and it was an off and on relationship and now it is completely off he in intrigued by another female who is still married but separated, still wanting to go back to her husband but leading this guy on. But whatever happens I know will be the Lord’s will. So instead consuming my heart with the love of a natural man I needed my heart to be filled with God’s love and faith because he mapped out our lives before we were born, in Jeremiah 29:11: ” I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord Plans to prosper you and not to harm you Plans to give you hope and a future”. I hope this helps you Rachel, I know by reading all the posts today they have helped me. Also here is another thing I do when I feel the need, I keep journals everywhere so I can write down how I am feeling at the time, it seems to make tears roll and then later in a month or two I go back and read what I had written and it makes me happy to see just how far the Lord has carried me through the storm. I do not know you but I believe it was God’s will to reply to your post. Prayers for you, put a smile on that face 🙂

  137. Derik Wilson says:

    Boo hoo! You are at a table in a room of people feeling alone. What about those people who are completely alone and afraid to interact with others? What about them? Sir you don’t know what it means to be alone, not in the least.

  138. I have never felt so disconnected from everyone. Social awkwardness is getting worse. I hide it the best I can, but inside I’m dying. I have been very blessed and fortunate. The last 6 months just havent been able to snap out of it. Please say a prayer for me my brothers and sisters reading this. Blessings.. 33 years old

    – Michael

  139. Today is my 31st birthday and I’m still alone. It hurts so much. My family doesn’t like me, my colleagues exclude me and so I never bother with them. At churches, pastors don’t have the time of day to take interest in my issues. My God keeps telling me to keep pushing life alone without a man to love and be loved back by. My father died on my 16th birthday and since then I have been alone until I realised last year that God has been my Father all this time and He has never lied to me. everything He spoke through his prophet almost 10 years ago, is coming to pass…except for the soul mate and friend bit. God told me that He has set aside and apart someone for me who will love me and I him too. I have never experienced any kind of love from a man except my biological father. I have had “things” with many men but never have I been anybody’s girlfriend or woman. I’m so tired of having to go through waves and waves of walls and spirit breaking challenges, medical challenges, financial and educational, including victories, and there’s no one there to celebrate or cry or pray or laugh with me. It’s unbearable existence and you’re expected to somehow be strong in mind, composed and solid in character without getting angry or upset because I am also a woman and human. Why am I being overlooked in this area? Love in this life from a man as a woman is guaranteed it seems only to a select few but God said and He would never lie, Has never lied to me but I am so sick of waiting in solitude without friends, without enemies, without siblings, without anyone to talk to on this Erath. Hello? I am getting upset at God and it hurts me because I know the plans He has for me but when am I meeting my friend? It is not like we will not have our challenges to face like the couples of the Old Testament who by the way, the women never had problems finding men. I just want companionship in this life because it des not matter after death. If I cant get it while I still live and before my heart and soul grows cold and dark with resentment that I have to overcome daily, I reject judgement and Hell in my afterlife.

  140. wow …sounds just like me – I give…I give…until I have no more to give and than feel so completely alone – My immediate family moved to Florida – that is my son who will be celebrating a birthday on Christmas Eve along with his lovely wife and their darling girls. I normally go visit but this year I couldn’t make it – While in ministry I teach, I’m asked to Preach – I believe God is developing me in these areas – but I rarely get the encouragement you know these kinds words you hope to here “Hey sis you did an awesome Job” and so on and so forth- and I know we do it unto the Lord – but a word of encouragement does go a LONG way. but thru it all like you – I’m learning the difference between being set-apart (something that I’m actually teaching on) and being set- aside (something that I’m being tormented by) The devil is a liar – and God is all TRUTH. I’m getting a lot better with myself and wanted to say Thank you for sharing this – it has changed me.

  141. hi am a single dad, i really need friends, we have a lot to talk about , you can contact me on my email ledbetterwilliam20@gmail.com or Facebook Nathan MacDonald

  142. I never believe on love spells until i met a friend of my who told me everything about DR.ehis who brought her ex-boyfriend back, even when she was telling me i did not believe her because i thought that she also wanted the same fake spell casters to take away my money. Although i gave her chance to explain everything she has to tell me about DR.ehis , i said to her that there are many scammers who want to take our money and i will never fall victim on them, even though my fiancee who suppose to marry me in a few months from now left me i will wait patiently for another guy though i loved him so much. she told me that this DR is not a fake one that he is real and he has helped many people to get their loved ones back, then i ask her how does this spell work and what is the requirements that i have to do before he can cast the love spells on me? she told me that i should emailed him on (EHISOJOKU@HOTMAIL.COM)

  143. Windy Brown says:

    “Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. The troubles of my heart are enlarged; bring me out of my distresses.” Psalm 25:16-17 (ESV)
    I woke up this morning needing to search the word. God put the word in my mind and sent me you as the reliever. The message I received is just awesome.It remind me that I need to be listening for his voice even more. Feeling overwhelmed, feeling lonely, also brought to mine that God never gives us more then we can bear. Just saying the scripture and reading your notes and notes of others, and some tears of mine is setting apart and not aside. Love you all for that, bless you all.

  144. I have been so lonely for a long time. Im married to an ’empty’ man for the last 18 years. It actually dawned on me finally that I have been alone in this marriage. I sometimes feel so much hate for him for deceiving me all these years. I cut myself off my friends all in the name of protecting my marriage and now Im alone. He drinks too much, sleeps around and is very hateful to me even in front of our children. If that part of my live was not meant to be but even my job is terrible! I am so unhappy and have no one to talk to! Everything around me is crumbling and I feel I will lose it very soon. I am dying inside everyday. I developed a heart problem and im on a load of meds. No one seems to care about me. I cant provide for my children, my house is breaking down and I cant afford to repair it. Everyone’s life seems to be moving well but mine is in shambles! I don’t know if God has forsaken me but I continue to pray and wait upon his promises. Its just too hard! Im so desperate.

    • Brenda, please talk with a pastor at a church you trust. I truly believe you are NOT meant to stay in that situation. God does not intend fir you to be treated poorly by a spouse who promised to love, and value you, be your partner in all things, and build a life with you. I may not know where you are located, but many states have free legal assistance, and even more importantly, abuse counselor with free support along with legal advice and assistance. God values your and your kids so get out because you and them are worth so much more than that!!!

    • tran mai thoa says:

      Brenda, God bless you. I pray for you and me. I pray that God shall hear your prayer and help you overcome your sistuation. Dear Lord, give her more strengh, heal her heart, give her a miracle, a good job, give her a happy life. I prayer for you with all my heart. i am crying… i am also waiting for God to give me a mỉracle.

  145. My sad sad diary 👇🏽Below

    May 13, 2016 2:05 PM

    I am not pleased with the life God has given me. I am not thankful about it. I am not pleased with it. I think God plays too much. I do not believe you have free will to choose life or death because I don’t choose life yet I’m alive everyday. God is such a jealous God. He put or allows you to have desires yet they are against his will. He’s so jealous when your happy so he allows your happiness to be taken away. But he will let pain and sadness cover you for the rest of your life. It’s a life sentence. How can you be so jealous when you can do or have it all with just a thought and no action. He doesn’t want the best for you. He lets people die in the hospital bed and gives life to people who don’t want it. The evidence to that statement would be me. God wants you to save yourself for marriage but the Mf want even give you a partner that’s for you. Or can we find one on our own without His consent. Yea I didn’t think so!!! Why because he is that jealous. If the Lord doesn’t want the devil to do something then he couldn’t do it that’s why I blame God. You try to give yourself or attention to God but he can’t or he doesn’t even tell u what the F his will is for you or what he wants with you or his planes for you. Your just stuck standing and confused. If God decides to step in for you its always at the point were you are in tears and have given up. I don’t think that’s being on time or knowing how much someone can bare. God said every thing he created was good. The way he made women is not good. Kids is not good. Marriage fell more than survive, that’s not good. Women go through pain before pleasure. Men go straight to pleasure. Women can die from having a child. Men don’t have to worry about certain things. God is unfair, jealous, and hateful. Its his fault before it’s the devils fault. If God wants to be done with Satan it can all be over right now. I’m pausing for a minute to say God stop giving me life. I don’t want this life that I didn’t choose. You can hop back in a body and live it yourself and stop throwing it on me.

    May 14, 2016 8:03 AM

    Life is not a blessing. I hate family. I hate people. I hate the human race. You can never get on your feet down here on earth so there’s always a struggle instead of ” abundant life “. Things I like to do I don’t know how to do. Things I know how to do the doors never open up for me to do them no matter how many times I knock. He’s just controlling. A lot of the word of God contradicts it self. God the life you created is a lonely one. You failed again as usual. Jesus died for nothing on the cross. I really wish he completely get out my life. You are very thirsty when you keep putting your self across people’s minds. I don’t want to see him at the judgment seat, if he’s this harsh down here. He is the devil. I don’t want to go to heaven or hell. I want to be none existent the way I was before I begin to take place in my mothers womb. Hope is something that will never come to pass. Faith is fake.

    May 15, 2016 8:24:52 AM

    Life is so pointless. I have bad teeth. I am mean. God takes all my time. God is selfish. All he thinks about is what you’re not doing for him. Not really interested in blessings because there’s always a burden with it and sometimes the pain is not worth. What did he die for when pain on earth is still intense. I don’t like me ANYMORE.

    July 23, 2016 7:37 PM

    I hate God because He created me and I never wanted or requested to be created. He should of just created His self and left it at that. Inside of His creation “me” I have desires but He want bring them to pass or bless me with them, but if I take upon my self and fulfill such desires and pleasures then He has the nerve to get mad and say you disobeyed His command,law or you have sinned. Well don’t give me such desires or craves you are not willing to fulfill. Take that shit away and you want have to worry about someone breaking your law. You hate divorce but you want even bless the people who have waited long for a mate. How long you think somebody can hold out. So people end up being with somebody that’s not even meant for them because your not doing nothing from ur end. Damn are you still who you claim to be. Why r u slow with eeeeverything. You take away things I ask for and give me things I didn’t. Just backwards. My final destination? Do I really have a choice? Do I really have free will? Because if I do, then I choose neither Heaven or hell. I don’t ask for life but you keep waking me up to it.😒just backwards.

    Thursday Dec 8, 2016 10:27 AM

    I do not praise God for how he made women. I do not care about virginity like he does. He’s bad when it comes to matching people with their forever partners that’s why marriages fail more than succeed. Are people supposed to not experience sex just because you are slow at what the fuck you do. Your creation of man was a big failure too. Man carries a disease called cheating. They are just born with it. Woman are emotional as hell, man isn’t. You don’t have a clear since of direction for women. You want them to be fruitful and multiply yet you make child baring painful as fuck. Are we to never experience sex because we stand a chance of getting pregnant. Why would you put those cravings desires in people when if we were to fulfill them it will make you angry. Why don’t you stop playing with people like that? Breaking your virginity is painful as hell so you can’t even design a body without mistakes. Why didn’t you give man this same pain. That’s why they have so many kids because intercourse is not painful but very pleasurable to them from the beginning why women have to feel unbearable pain through so many tries before it feels good. Your creations are very messed up. You are very unfair. I hate how you constantly cross my mind and thoughts. Me me me. You selfish and thirsty. If you give someone a correct mate, it’s when their life is almost over, they don’t have to many years left to live life and they can’t do the things that they once had the possibility to do. That’s not being an on time God and that’s not a blessing. They will never know what it feels like. Who do you think have a life time to wait on you. You created man(male) to cheat. It’s not one existing that doesn’t do it. How can you look down from heaven and say your work is good? Woman have to bleed every few weeks, man doesn’t, women have to keep their legs shaved, man do not, women have to carry this ugly huge big stretch mark contraction stomach for most of the entire year, if man finds a wife he found a good thing, but you didn’t say that in return for women. Why not if the wife finds a husband it’s a good thing? What the fuck does she get out of it you unfair. You built women to be slaves to man. Get back in a body and be a slave to this stupid life you created. Doing this at others expense. You leech.

    Dec 11, 2016 4:33 PM

    I have been lonely for a long time , so clearly that is another job that the Lord wasn’t capable of filling and slow at it. I don’t want to be around family and yet this is all God keeps me around. I mess up friendships because I’m so mean but blame that on God because God is the one who made all things. God is like 666 when it comes to women, just hateful. God waste so many days and time. I wish God get out my life. Sometimee mf. God has been hateful to me.

    Dec 12, 2016 4:28 PM

    God gave me a life I never wanted. If you ask God to remove something or take it away or don’t let that happen, then that is the very thing he will let happen to you what you didn’t ask for. God refused to believe that his creation was a total fail. The things you cry and ask God for, he will make sure that that doesn’t come to past. God is a backwards God. He needs to be worked on his self before he can work on others. Just a total fail all around.
    I am the most different out of my family, therefore I should be the first to die out of them. When my mother and father got together they birth 2 boys and me. But I am nothing like them. They love to live life and they are not afraid to try things. I am mean as fuck, a loner, and very very very scarred to try things. No guy wants to be with a woman if she’s not willing to have sex. So that means I will never have friends. God you are a disgrace to life and people. Don’t ask for big things when God can’t give you the small things you ask for. It is sad how I heard about a girl who had intercourse for the first time and she was in tears because it hurt so bad and nothing felt good about it and she was immediately pregnant. But it was very pleasurable to the men. That would be another one of Gods bad creations being unfair to women. If you are going to impregnate women at least give them the pleasurable side too since she got to go 9 months in pain and bad looks. I believe you fuck up people’s relationships because you are jealous of how they love each other. Men will go as far as rape to fulfill their sexual desire. Waiting until marriage is like waiting till your 80. You don’t know who your supposed to be with. Proving God is slow in all things.

    Jan 14, 2017 4:30 PM

    Creating a life is not cool. Woman birthing humans is one of the worst creations God could have made existed. It’s nothing beautiful about it. I know there’s protection to prevent pregnancy but without these protections, sex would only be had if your willing to create a life. I don’t want sex to bring life in the world that is very fucked up how God did woman. It is so hard for a woman to break her virginity, not because of rules but because it’s that painful. Why give women tones of pain by carrying kids, bleeding, getting cut open and Got dammit making it so painful in the vagina. You didn’t give such disgusting pain to men. You are a sexist. Life has never been a blessing so why do you choose to give it to me. Lord I really decline this offer you want to give me. I guess I’m like the Israelites, “we could have died in the land were the food was”. God if a woman breaks her virginity and she’s not married, you get so pissed off and hateful, that’s why we have all this pain in the first place. You got straight mad at the females. You were like here give them pain in this, in this, and in this. If it really gets you that upset can you at least keep your desires for this away from us when you definitely don’t plan on giving it to us or fulfilling it. This is one of your worst creations you threw on woman and not men. You created men to just have a great pleasurable time.

    Feb 3, 2017 1:59 AM

    If i had a choice I would rather be dead than to be pregnant.

    Feb 19, 2017 10:56 AM

    The song yes Jesus loves me, yes Jesus love me. That kind of love when you really feel He do love you, I hate how it seems like it’s every once in a while or it’s more pain and loss out weighing the love. I do feel like you really have to count the cost as the Word says. I feel some things or love is not worth such levels of pain, hurt, or struggles. If God is trying to give me certain things or take me to a certain place it’s just certain things I don’t want to endure or go through to have whatever it is and you shouldn’t have to be hurt or pierced every time to have or obtain something blessedful. I’m counting the cost and I just don’t want life period so at the end of the day I think God is going to give you what He wants to give you anyways. Nobody has a say or choice at the end of the day. Every day I’m starting to wake up and say what is this weird world and body I’m in and I don’t have a way of escape out of it.
    Why is God so set on getting me. He is just stripping me of everything I ever had. These are things waay worse than Satan could ever do to someone. Help me get out this life or away from God.

    Mar 10, 2017 7:17 PM
    God? 🙄😕. God is slow at mostly everything.
    Why do He do the things He do? Why do most things He do makes no sense?
    Can U get out the way😕🙄😐?
    I don’t want anything on earth 🌏 nor do I want to be on earth. You want to give us good and experience great things but Lord it’s just as bad as the bad things because it’s a hope killer. The great or good doesn’t last just like you say bad things are for a season or weeping may endure for a night and joy comes in the morning. The good and great is sooo temporary till I don’t want ether side. What else is there to life.
    I am still trying to see why God is sooo mad at women, angry at women, hate women. Child bearing is far from a blessing. A lot of women have babies because they are sooo eager and curious to have and see what sex feel like. It was never about a child. A child is just part of that business. Vaginas and how they operates, I wasn’t thinking about this shit as a child and shouldn’t have to have my focus there at such an age, how it has to be worked into at an earlier age painfully over and over again just so you can be able to have sexual intimacy at the appropriate time at ease is a ridiculous hateful fucked up way to create a woman. And if that’s not enough then carrying a bloated stomach in pain, can’t function normally, leave work for weeks to months, permanent stretch marks, c section, cut open, sex didn’t even feel good or problems in vagina area where you are required to seek a doctor 👨‍⚕️, splitting your tissues😖, and the child has mental problems, period cycles. God I wouldn’t dare thank you for these ridiculous things. Your reasons in the Bible isn’t good enough for this type of life pain, then it’s hell on top of it taking care and having the dad do his part of the responsibility for 18 years. This is straight hateful. Why does it bother You what we do with our bodies mann😤? You have the power to give and take away, so if it bothers you for someone to break there virginity then why want You take those urges, stimulation, craves for sex away when You know people have a very small amount of power to stop ✋ themselves from fulfilling that shit. And when they do their lives are more of a worry, stressed 😩, poor, and rough till they die because that’s how mad 😡 you are at them for doing that so You give them hell most of their life till they die. Favoritism You do show between male and female. Men don’t have it close to this bad. You curse marriages more than blessed them. You failed marriages, the meter of love is very short out here and it’s temporary as well. If You call Yourself love (God is Love) then Your temporary and the portion is small opposite of love is hate and it’s waay more hate then love out here. Failed marriages ending in murder. Just give up. If I see You at the judgement seat, what are You going to do show me this. I have a right to say and feel like this. It’s like a devil waving things we desire in our face and when we go after it we are punished and have to suffer for it and suffer a life time. I cry and wish sooo bad that You would leave me alone and I find myself asking You things because I know You not going to leave me alone. You have nothing else to do but mess up people life. This is what You live for. Your good is sooo short and temporary.
    So You gonna explain or give a better reason for why You hate woman sooo bad. Or maybe You don’t have a logical reason to be doing this ridiculous shit.
    You have Satan beat.

    Mar 11, 2017 7:28 AM
    And what do you know, He wakes me up again to accomplish nothing meaningful, only to visit the different hells in this stupid life He considers a blessing. I don’t want to be dead in the body and alive in spirit, I want to be dead in both. I will accept anything that gives me an escape from this reality God calls life.

  146. I’m 60 and alone. All the years of wanting to have a good marriage and family are but a distant dream of an old man. I survived cancer a few years back and have health issues. The days of what they tell you when your young. Don’t worry you will find someone someday are just words that haunt me. What did I do wrong besides being born average looking that has caused a lifetime of rejection by women? Loneliness is the worst pain.

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  148. Songbird Rebel says:

    Thank you for sharing this. Even though I’ve been raised as an Anglican Christian, I’ve always feel as though I’m the family’s black sheep (despite being told otherwise). I have high-functioning Autism and have different interests than the rest of my sisters, and I sometimes get teased about it. So I strive to be successful in life (hide my autism, strive to be a ‘winner’, have a more social life; being normal/perfect), but I guess it’s because I’m trying to fill in the void I had in my heart caused by not having friends. I’m more introverted by nature and seems to relate more with animals than I do with people. I just wish I have someone who will understand and accept me for who I am, flaws and all. I’m sorry for rambling…

  149. i too have felt realy alone , im a female 22 and was diagnosed with chrones diseases 4 years ago ,all i realy desire was to be married but to be honest even some chick friends i wuld be glad to have , weekends use to be fun but now i wish i culd skip them , im glad to hang with Jesus monday -thursday but wen friday -sunday comes i message people and they all got plans.shuld i just make fb group and add you all maby we all could skype or facebook.

  150. Christine says:

    I am very grateful to God for all of you who have shared your feeling and experience, it is not ii vein , you have helped many people who are going through loneliness and feeling like God has left them. My encouragement for you is that, keep holding on to Jesus and He will hold on to you no matter what you go through He is faithful to get you out of every mess.

  151. Well i can certainly Blame the women of today for my Singleness since i still Never expected a good man like me to still be Single today since the women of today have certainly Changed from the good old days.

  152. Thank you. Needed this tonight.

  153. Cindy Yeo says:

    First thing I want to say is that God is my life. Has I sit in the parking lot of Rite Aid searching for some answers to this loneliness that I’ve going through God brought me here. I have been blaming my loneliness on my husband’s unfaithfulness, his a verbal abuse, work injuries and my coworkers not researching out to me, but after reading this I can clearly see what God is doing in me. There’s much more to my story. I just wanted to let you know that you have helped me. God Bless

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