Lord, I Need Your Help

Lord, I Need Your Help

October 8, 2013

“In my distress I called to the LORD; I cried to my God for help.” (Psalm 18:6 NIV)

One evening after an intense “discussion,” my husband, J. J., told me that no matter what he did or how hard he tried, it was never enough for me. He was right. I constantly found fault with him as a husband and as a dad.

But when he implied that I was impossible to please … well, that sent my already-out-of-control emotions reeling. I grabbed my coat and stormed out the front door. Hot tears streamed down my cheeks as I replayed our conversation in my head.

I was determined to figure out what J. J.’s problem was and get Jesus to fix him. So I started filing complaints against my husband in what you might call a prayer. And I finally heard myself—all the ugliness, all the anger. That’s when I realized, I need help. I needed God to help me figure out how—after seven years of a happy marriage—we had gotten to this ugly place.

Instead of just crying, I found myself crying out to God for help.

King David was much better at this than I was that day. He had a habit of crying out to God for help when he was in distress. One Bible scholar notes that the phrase, “‘In my distress’ refers, most probably, not to any particular case, but rather indicates [David's] general habit of mind, that when he was in deep distress and danger he had uniformly called upon the Lord, and had found him ready to help.”*

That night, when I stopped talking and started listening, I sensed God showing me I wanted J. J. to make up for all the ways my dad had fallen short as a father to me and as a husband to my mom. Years as a child in a broken home with a broken heart had led to a significant sense of loss and deep disappointment. Yet, up to that point, I had never grieved the happily-ever-after that I longed for but didn’t have.

My unfulfilled hopes had become bitter expectations. I became controlling and critical, thinking that if I could get J. J. to be the husband and dad I wanted him to be, maybe my broken dreams could be put back together. But I was wrong. Instead of expecting my husband to make up for my losses, I needed to cry out to God with my hurts and call on Him for help.

Are there hurts that hold you hostage? Expectations no one could really ever meet? Need some help today? I know I do. And I know God is there, waiting for us to cry out to Him.

As I continued to process what had happened in my childhood and how it affected my marriage, I learned to ask God for help through each step of my healing journey. It took time, prayer, and courage, but God was my very present help.

By the way, I’m crazy about my husband. And so very thankful for that day several years ago when I finally asked the Lord for help.

Dear Lord, I need Your help, especially with _______________. Please show me where to start and be my help each step of the way. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Related Resources
For 20 years Proverbs 31 Ministries has been a trusted friend to offer comfort in knowing you’re not alone in your day-to-day struggles, questions, and hopes. Today’s devotion is a sample from our newest book, Encouragement for Today: Devotions for Everyday Living.

We’ve compiled 100 of our favorite devotions to share with you. They are hopeful. Relevant. Trustworthy. And offer God’s perspective and a bit of humor to help you through the rough patches. Pick up your copy by clicking here.

Visit Renee Swope’s blog for more encouragement.

Remember
Hurts from your past can hold you hostage. God is there, waiting to heal you.

Reflect
In what ways do you file complaints against your husband (or other loved one) in what you might call a prayer?

Respond
Determine if your hurts are too deep to heal without outside help. If they are, consider seeing a pastor or counselor.

Power Verses
Psalm 46:1; Deuteronomy 4:7

*Albert Barnes, Barnes’ Notes on the Old and New Testaments (Grand Rapids: Baker, 1983).

Taken from Encouragement for Today: Devotions for Everyday Living by Renee Swope, Lysa TerKeurst and Samantha Evilsizer and the Proverbs 31 Ministries Team. © 2013 Proverbs 31 Ministries. Used by permission of Zondervan. www.zondervan.com.

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Comments

  1. I don’t no why. But I keep cursing and yelling all the time. I hate that I do it. I have ask for prayer for years and I seem that i just can’t stop. What can I pray , what can I do to change? Please help in anyway you can.

    • Robin,
      I used to have a real bad habit of yelling (not cursing or nasty name calling) when I got mad. Then one night the neighbors down wind from us got into a nasty fight. Oh the nasty names, curses and everything else could be heard all over the neighborhood. That is when I realized my yells could be heard by the neighbors too, and I had been trying to be a Christian witness to them. They heard the “real” me & now I knew why they didn’t want to go to church with me. The Lord gave me the strength to stop yelling & hold my anger. A neighbor even asked me if why they hadn’t heard me yelling. I told them about the Lord. I hope this helps. I will be praying for you.

      • It always helps me to fill my ears with praise music. It puts me in the right frame of mind and heart. I listen to Klove a Christian radio station. It’s amazing how Christian music takes my mind off the waves and puts my eyes back on our awesome God.

        Sometimes when I’m really angry I might curse but that’s because I’ve relinquished control of my tongue and we’re told it’s wild to tame. It’s something we actively HAVE to choose to do. STOP yourself and issue up a prayer every time and I’ll bet it becomes a great habit. I’ll be praying for you.

    • The cursing was the hardest habit I ever broke, it took alot of practice. Just take it one day at a time. You might try a change jar, every time you curse you put a quarter in the jar, and when you finally brake the habit, you and your family do something fun with the money in jar.
      As for the yelling , well i do that too sometimes, but I am getting better, but haven’t got there completely yet, i do try taking a deep breath when I get anry and counting to ten it really helps.

  2. Jenny Bassett says:

    OMIGOSH…this is so me that I was worried my hubby would see it….Please pray for me….I am so thankful that someone else out there can relate….my adult bipolar boys, one with a daughter, and who is swirling the drain breaking from a sick relationshiop with her mother, are a big part of this equation as well….It’s the kind of sick unbelievable stuff that most Christians don’t get….but I’m a Christian and living through mental illness as a Christian…the song “Set Me Free” by Casting Crowns is my family in a nutshell. Christians can still be Christians and suffer from mental illness…and it is a major conflict and very difficult!! Thanx for sharing!!

    • When I was in med school, one of the members at the church I worshiped at was a psychiatrist and faculty at the state mental hospital. He was asked to speak about Christianity and mental illness. It was eye-opening. Here was a believer asking people to be merciful, this was a trial for people suffering with a DISEASE. He reminded us that people don’t ask for mental illness– an actual organic chemical problem– anymore than they ask for cancer. I am praying for more people to understand that and also that God would work miracles for your family’s physical, mental and emotional well-being.

  3. KIMBERLEY LEONARD says:

    THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH FOR ALL YOUR MESSAGES AND THIS ONE I REALLY FELT ON MY HEART I PLAN ON KEEPING IT SO I CAN REFER BACK TO IT AS WELL AS READING THE PLACES OF SCRIPTURE AND PSALMS YOU REFEREED TO. GREAT READING AND THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH ,GOD BLESS !

  4. Thanks for sharing and this is really my feeling now. I am also like you, just feel that whatever things my hubby do is not good enough or there is always room for improvement. But like what I always tell my kids, when you pointing finger at others, you are actually pointing fingers at ur ownself. But I just dont know how to get out of it. Sometimes I am ok but most of the times I am at the other side of not ok. My hubby always has this fear in him that he doesnt know when or what he do is right or not. Or did he say or do the wrong thing that make me upset. I felt so bad. I feel that the problem lies with me but I dont know where is the problem. I dont know how to talk to God or pray. Or maybe is my pride that is causing all this.. I really dont know..Please help!!

    • Often times I’ve had to ask God to reveal the root of my problem. I come from a broken home and all my life, in order to cope with the absent father, I told myself I was too old to have a Dad… and at a young age I started to believe it. Flash forward this underlying current rears its ugly head and I realize I was trying to fill this “Father” hole in my life with my husband. “When I get married I won’t need a father…”

      Praying to God is not a formula. I would say your post was a prayer. Pouring out your heart like you did is a prayer. I write my down because I’m a writer. That’s how I communicate with God. Confessing your sins, as you did, is a prayer. You’re off to a great start. Be ready to listen. The only way I know how to explain God’s voice (to me) is a thought will be “impressed” on my heart. A thought will come out of nowhere, an answer I knew couldn’t have come from me, and the answer has the ability to stop my wondering and my soul either is at peace or my stubbornness will rise up and say, “No,” because it’s uncomfortable and the truth and it can be ugly.

      I’ve posted this in another comment above but listening to Christian music on the radio (such as K-Love) has helped pull me out of anger, despair and hopelessness and filled me joy and awe at the God I serve. I pray He gives you revelation and that you hear Him loud and clear.

  5. I can so relate as well. Seems the stuff we didn’t get, the missing pieces from our childhood, from growing up really does put a person in a tough stop with relationships. I have failed at all of them, including my marriage and am heading in that same direction with my new guy. I didn’t want him there, knew I wasn’t healthy, he kept pushing. Carol says maybe he’s a gift from God. Maybe. Maybe he is the help I have been asking for, begging for. To change alone is not possible…counseling, self-hate, medication, divorce, broken relationships, isolation, reading, praying….none of that is effective if you don’t love yourself and start from deep, deep within and heal and connect and love and forgive. Working on that…letting God work on that, every single day. And while I wait, I just wish He’d take me home instead.

    • Please know that I have prayed for you this morning. I pray that you will feel God’s love surround you today and know that there is hope.

    • Angie I am going through the break up of a 49 year marriage. I never knew my Father, My Mother and I had a strained relationship until the day she died. I lost My Brother when he was 47 years old to cancer. he and My Husband were who I trusted most in the world. My Husband had an affair after I lost my Brother. I was busy trying to make a living and I was also caring for my Father-in Law who lived in our home. We have three Children seven Grandchildren and Three Great Grand Children. My Husband has moved to Florida to live with another Woman. I am crushed to the bone. I am trying to recover. I am living one minute at a time many days.

  6. very good message today. I too, have done the same thing. I had issues from my past & thought my husband should act or be a certain way for me & then I learned the hard way that it wasn’t him that needed to change, but it was me. Things are so much better now but Ive had to learn some hard lessons along the way. Thank God for his grace and mercy.

  7. Wow! It is so amazing how God speaks exactly what you need to hear exactly when you need to hear it! My husband and I are in this same exact situation right now. We finally had a huge blow out the other night and it got to the point that I even told him maybe we need to take a break from each other, which I totally didn’t mean at all! There were a lot of hateful things said and I ended up going to the shower and crying my eyeballs out. As I was in there I began to realize that there were things that happened to me as a child and things that happened to me in my first marriage that have turned me into a very broken, damaged woman. I’ve spent years telling myself that those awful things didn’t affect my life, I was Ok, I had put it behind me. I realize now as I draw closer in my walk with God that He’s bringing these things to surface for me to really deal with them. Unfortunately, I’m taking all my anger and hurt and resentment out on my husband, who is such a wonderful man. This man is not only trying to better his walk with God he also took on the roll of daddy to my oldest child. I punish him for things that happened to me, I withhold mysldf from him because of how I associate intimacy and trust and if has absolutely nothing to do with him. He doesn’t even know half the things that happened to me because I refuse to open up an d tell him out of shame and embarrassment. I know this is going to be a long road getting past this because there are so many questions but I know if I listen God will answer every one of them and He will give me the strength and courage to open up to my husband. God sent him to me for a reason and I will not let Satan drive him away. Thank you so much for this devotion today, I needed it more than you could possibly imaging

    • You are on a great path Jennie, because you’ve pin point the issue. Many blessings and happiness to come. May God Bless you and your family. Shai’

    • Praying for the both of you. It can be scary to face the truth but I pray God gives you the courage. Asking our husbands to forgive us NOT to mention saying “sorry” can be difficult. It’s a good place to start and I pray you do. Realizing what the problem is half the battle so you’re almost there! Press on.

    • Jennie, I’m right there with you. You aren’t alone. God’s grace and mercy will heal us; all we need to do is ask, and do the next right thing.

  8. Renee, you are awesome! Thank you for sharing and keeping it real.. This was a great article and a light bulb moment. Thank you.

  9. Wow. Just as Jennie says, it’s amazing how God speaks exactly what you need to hear when you need to hear it. My husband and I just had this same exact “discussion” last night. Although I didn’t storm out of the house I did throw a little, alright big, tantrum. After all his problems are much bigger than mine: Not! While he may not be interested in growing spiritually right now and have a lot of baggage from his childhood, I do too and need to address my problems instead of focusing on his. He is a wonderful husband, more than I could ever have imagined God blessing me with but all I can seem to see are his faults and the fact that he doesn’t live up to my expectations, many of which he doesn’t even know! Thank you for sharing. In being open to God you have blessed me and so many others.

  10. My husband and I can’t seem to have any conversation without one of us midunderstanding the other one. I feel so alone… but God is my strength, He is my joy, my love, my hope!

    • I still, at times, struggle with this. My husband (men are usually to the point) will make a simple comment and I’ve heard something completely different. I’ve learned that I tend to hear things through the filter of “you’re wrong” and I am always on the defense. So when I respond I’m defending my actions, my words, my thoughts. Many times I’ve heard my husband say “I’m on your side…” and I’m ashamed that I’ve escalated a conversation as benign as “the sky is blue” to insisting he say it’s a “azure blue.” Ridiculous sometimes. I pray God calms our hearts to hear the truth and not what we expect to hear. I pray we feel safe enough to speak the truth and not feel judged. Hang in there.

  11. Lanette Haskins says:

    Renee I feel as if you’ve just written my story as I can see myself, my husband, my life within these lines. I needed to hear these words and as I read, “I was determined to figure out what J. J.’s problem was and get Jesus to fix him. So I started filing complaints against my husband in what you might call a prayer.” they cut right to my heart as I’ve done this so many times!!!
    Thank you for your transparency! Thank you for sharing this message! Thank you for the many ways that you encourage and inspire those of us who read your words!
    God bless!

  12. I, too, have been at that place where I felt my husband wasn’t doing enough, or doing it the right way. And when I would cry out to God in “prayer” I kept hearing the Holy Spirit say, “But what about you?” And I would cry and moan and say “God, look at him, look at what he did (or did not do)” but the voice was undeniable, “What about you?” And I heard God say to my heart, “I’ll deal with your husband, but first I need to deal with you.” And amazingly enough, when I started to change, I saw a change in my husband. It could be that I relaxed a little and those little things didn’t bother me, or it could be that God worked on me first, then my husband. Either way, I now approach my life with the “What about you?” attitude. Somethings are really out of our control, but those that aren’t…What about us?

  13. Thank you for this message. I was in an abusive marriage for 7 years. It has been 4 years since it ended and I met a nice man. When things are nice, I find every reason to de-rail the relationship, but this nice man gently walks me through the rough spots. 2 weeks ago, I had a “conversation” with God…really me yelling, crying…and I realized it was time to face the ugliness of that marriage head on. And so I did, and somedays still do but I do it with God (and not so much yelling and crying). It has allowed me to be feel love and see this nice man for who HE is, and not through my scuffed up heart and mind. God is amazing when I allow Him to be. If only..I can remember to turn to God before I allow evil into my head..it is getting better. Thank you!

  14. Thanks I needed this today
    Lisa

  15. This post really helped me today. I can relate to you Renee. I think that my issues and attitude have caused him to have an attitude which has caused some tense days. God really used you today!!

  16. Thanks for this. A true moment of self-realization that was difficult, but needed.

  17. His timing is PERFECT!!! I think Someone was watching this same conversation in our house this morning. I had that same cry to Him… HELP! As I don’t where to go and don’t know how to fix it with my husband. It seems that circumstances and hormones always seem to get the better of me. I try to keep Eph 4:29 in front of me… “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for BUILDING OTHERS UP according to their needs that it may benefit those who listen.” I guess He is telling me to focus more on my husband’s needs rather than my “relief” (as was noted above) and not only will He help our relationship but those of our sons who are the ones who are listening. It also helped seeing there are other “Angies” out there too!! Thank you Renee and PRAISE HIM for His Word and guidance!!!

  18. Just what I needed to read today!! So many comments that sound just like me. My husband and I usually end up in an argument whenever we try to communicate. So many prayers I need to pray, and I need to start with changing myself.

  19. Seeing myself in your story, Renee, in a slightly different scene. Knowing I have to persevere in taking it to the Lord. Thanks for sharing.

  20. Cynthia Swenson says:

    Submission, submission, submission! First to the Lord, then to your husband. It’s a vicious circle; husband tries to please the wife rather than exhibit firm leadership, wife has no idea why her tantrum toddler emotions escalate out of control. I think it’s a bit of a cop out to keep dragging up the past as an excuse. God wants us to forget the past & push on to obedience! Google Lori Alexander at Always Learning. I think she has the best marriage advise out there! We,as women, have a flesh nature that hates submission. It is an absolute requirement for our relationship with the Lord, & ALSO for a happy marriage. Love & prayers, in Jesus, Cynthia

  21. Thank you so much for sharing this. I really needed this today.

  22. I did this study last year or earlier this year. It has been an “unusual” to say the least year for us. My husband has been “down=sized”, I dislike that “politically correct” term, why can’t they just say you no longer have a job here! In these times of messed up politics, no one ever agrees with the other one and the Media blows everything out of proportion or puts their own slant to everything it is hard to believe anyone anymore.

    My husband sits here at this computer everyday and tries to apply for a new job and seems to be going no where fast. He has been unemployed officially since Sept. 20th, but was given “three weeks notice” that he would be without a job. They were so “kind” as to “offer him a position” at minimum wage, making collection calls and said he could have 4% of what remained after the insurance paid?? How dumb do they think he is?

    He is an accountant, has a four year degree and 14 years experience in accounting unfortunately working in the health field. This has convinced him he needs to change the field of work and to try to find a position not in Health Care. He has managed to have one interview last week. He felt good about the interview, and even “relieved” that he had finally gotten an interview after a phone interview. He has almost fifty applications and has only heard from this one company and is now “patiently waiting” to hear back on the interview and we are both praying he might be called back for a second interview, this might mean they want to hire him.

    The pressure of sitting here day after day and the jobs out there are often slim to none any more is getting to him. He tries to stay positive but after a few hours everyday of sitting and trying to even find a position he would be interested or qualified for he is getting somewhat depressed. I cannot blame him and we pray together and separately that “Someone Out There” might want to hire him harder and harder to deal with each day. As his wife some days I am finding it hard to say positive things to encourage him not to give up. I tell him he is a good, honest, moral, ethical and Christian man that God is working on helping him find the job that God is planning for him we just have to hold on together and be “still and know that He is God”. We believe He can do the Impossible but hope it might be soon.
    My husband is also a Sunday School teacher and tries every week to be positive when he is not always feeling so positive. Last week’s lesson was on “Patient Endurance”. It seems every week of late that the Sunday School lessons are describing our own personal lives. Searching for a job is a real test of your faith. We are both clinging to God and His promises in the Bible daily to make it possible for him to not give up. This weeks lessons once again are right there-the first day is: “Even Christians Collide”. Boy, sometimes it is hard to be the Sunday School teacher and be a positive influence on the class. He has a style which seems to work well of being a Facilitator and throws the lesson and the questions out to the class and then allow them to discuss how they feel or think about what the Scriptures for the Week are saying. It seems to work well and most Sundays we leave and see some light at the end of the tunnel. It is obvious to both of us that often less than 40% of the class have even opened up their Sunday School books and bothered to read the lesson. He prepared as well as he can for the lesson in the midst of his own struggles and I wonder what God is trying to teach he and I about life and all of this.
    We don’t fight a lot but I can say, often the stress level here at home does get high. We try to think before we speak but sometimes, in our humanity, slip and end up saying something we wish we could take back as soon as we have said it. We have been married for twenty-four years now. It is a second marriage for both of us and at times we really know that God is shall I say, “Testing Us!” He wants us to trust in Him in all circumstances, even unemployment. We know it could be worse. My husband is a great, “Praise the Lord”, budgeter. But, even that can be tested. He is waiting to hear back on his unemployment check being sent this week. His former employer might have decided to “challenge” that he receive unemployment. But he, my husband, has spoken to the people at the Unemployment Office” and assure him he will win this one! We are praying for this.

    We aren’t poor but the budget can only be stretched for so far and for so long. We have a “cushion” but the stuffing isn’t near as thick as it has been in the past. We both try not to worry, know what the Bible says about worrying and most of the time feel God is there for us helping us one day, sometimes, one hour at a time. We realize this is life but sometimes life is hard. We know Jesus said “There would be suffering if we chose to follow Him” and also know that God is sufficient to get us through all of this but would like to get back to normal? Whatever that really is anymore. I am not feeling sorry for us we are both just tired of all of this.

    I had to go on Disability in 1998 because of an on-going medical condition, I would love to go back to work, I was an Elementary School teacher teaching in a school where half of my class were children whose parents were in prison, The district I was employed in at the time had a minimum and a maximum security prison. Many of my children had parents who were illiterate and I would send letters home encouraging them to read with their children every night. But often received letters back that had an “X” there and a note from someone who was either a spouse or someone they were living with who said the parent was not able to write their name and could not read!!

    I had to teach the lessons and then get the homework done because I would not know for sure that someone would be able to help or would care to see that the homework was even done. I also had to remember that oftentimes the textbook might not come back the next day. Parents who are not educated themselves don’t always see the need to do homework, read, or write. I was teaching a class of first through third grade Special Education Children who had a reading level, most of them at the First Grade Level. It was a challenge, one of the hardest but also one of the most rewarding years in my career as a teacher. I at the same time was sick myself and had to sit at the table and do the work with my students that stayed in the classroom most of the day with me. Some were able to go out into a “regular” class for math, Physical Education, Library or sometimes a Science Class. I was never sure when it was time for Parent-Teacher Conferences that two or three of the parents, usually single parents would even show up for their conference. I ended up so weak, sick and unable to go on the first day of conferences that Spring that I went to my principal in the morning right after I walked my class to the lunchroom for the first time in months because I was too weak to take them myself so I had Eighth Grade girls take them for me. They also met them after recess and brought them back to my room.

    I hated to admit to my principal, who knew I was ill, knew my diagnosis but hoped, as I was hoping that I would be able to finish out the school year. I had recently turned in my resignations for April because I didn’t think I was going to make it physically until the end of the year. I went to a friend, who was also a Christian, and sat and cried telling her to help me to be strong enough to talk to the principal and tell him how weak I really was. We prayed together, then she called him on the PA system and he came down and we talked. He agreed to allow me to phone the three parents who had said yes to my conferences on the phone and do the best I could. I felt like such a failure at that moment. I hated to admit to myself, my principal and realize this was going to be my last day in the school as a teacher. It was a real low, only God got me through that day.

    I had one of the Eight Grade girls get my class from recess. When they all came into the class room I was sitting in one of the small chairs for Elementary children and I said,” I am going to read a book to you and then need to tell you something very important!” That certainly got their attention. The book was “This Is How Much I Love You”. I cannot think of the author’s name at this time, I am having memory issues now more than ever. I read the book, I was trying very hard not to cry as I read it to them. But, we all ended up crying together when I told them I was going to have to quit teaching and would not be back after that day. It was probably the hardest thing I ever had to do as a teacher. But I felt the necessity to be honest with them that I was getting sicker, they knew that, but not my diagnosis. They had supported me when I was not able to teach walking in the room and sat and let them go to the blackboard to do math or draw a picture on the blackboard. I then told them how special each of them were to me, how much I truly loved them and was going to miss them. A little girl, who had a twin brother who was also in my class, both were ADD or ADHD and were on medication at the time. The family they lived in was dysfunctional most of the time. I knew sending a textbook home I was taking a chance it would not return the next day. There were six children in the family and I had only met the mother one time. I had taught the boy who was the other twin the year before. So, I got up, we packed up what they needed to take home with them and I walked down the hall, I was on the basement level of this school building, and we went to the elevator together, we were allowed to use it as long as I was with them all. I hadn’t done that for months. So, we walked out to the playground, the buses were waiting to take the children home, there was only a half-day of school that day because of Parent-Teacher Conferences. The girl twin, fell to the ground, started to cry, she had never shown me any positive, normal behavior before. She was so unhappy at home and everyday. I did all I was able to do to be positive with her at school. Now here I am, the buses are waiting to take the children home and this little girl has her arms wrapped around my legs and is saying, “I don’t want to loose you as my teacher!” Those were the first honest words she had ever spoken to me. I tried not to cry, but ended up doing so anyway. I pulled myself together and said, “Remember, I will always love you, never forget you, and write a letter to all of you soon. You will have a new teacher next week and she will be with all of you for the next few weeks until the end of this school year.

    I got up. I helped her get up also and then told her she had to go home, the bus driver had to take the rest of the children home also. I stepped back from the bus, waved good-bye and threw kisses to them all with tears running down my cheeks. Somehow God allowed me to do all of that and I just stood and prayed for them as the buses drove away.

    I am not trying to bring you all to tears, I don’t want you to feel sorry for me. It was the hardest decision I ever had to make as a teacher but knew it was the right one of those children who are now probably in their twenties or more. I am at home, I have survived breast cancer seven years ago, that was not a diagnosis I was aware of ever having at that time but God also got me through that. I have been cancer free for seven years now. I am weaker, go to three different doctors often but have learned. God takes care of our every need. Knows what they are and will provide for each one as they come along in life. We have an awesome God that we serve. I hope you all know and love Jesus as I do. Thanks for this study, the times it has given me the strength to get through things that God allows to happen in our lives and know He will always be there for me.

    Remember, “I can do all things through God who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:133

    Love, Mary

    Now, as I sit and type this of course I am crying. I still pray for each one of those children and pray they too have Jesus in their lives are happy, successful and maybe someday I will get to meet them in heaven.

  23. I have found that the more I develop a closer relationship with God, the easier it is to accept my husband (and other people) for who they are. I used to have unrealistic expectations with my husband and friends, looking for anyone to fill this void that I had. I have a perfectionist personality, so I expect other people to be perfect also. Realizing God’s love for me has slowly been turning me around. My prayer to God is that He show me how to love others as He does. The void I expected others to fill can only be filled with God’s love. When you truly “get” how deep is God’s love for you, it does not matter what anybody else does or doesn’t do. You love them anyway because He loved you.

  24. For me,,it’s thinking I am not good enough. I feel I never do anything right. This is the hardest thing for me to overcome. I don’t know HOW to overcome it. I can’t blame my childhood, I can’t blame a broken home. I had loving Christian parents! Maybe the years of living with an alcoholic husband, maybe having one son who has a drug problem, and another son who doesn’t talk to me because I divorced his dad. I don’t know, I just don’t know. All I do know is that I struggle to be happy and free from thinking I am not good enough. Lord, I DO need your help!

    • Carol Freeman says:

      Brenda, Keep telling yourself you did the best you could, and pray. Pat yourself on the back, think of the good in your life and contrast it with the bad. I know its easy to say, I have had to tell myself this over and over again.
      You are good enough, it is not easy to be married to a person with addictions of any kind, they will attempt to make you feel like your going crazy, and are sort of saying if you were a better person I wouldn’t be like this. I will pray for you, I feel your pain piercing my own heart.

  25. “I do ask you to be praying for my attitude towards my husband. I’ll explain more when we meet next week (because I’m doubtful the situation will correct itself before then), but I’m almost positive it’s my attitude that needs to change. (See me admitting – baby steps, baby steps I tell ya!)” This is the prayer request I sent to one of my LTG (Life Transformation Group) friends yesterday. No need for a long story from me, mine mirrors yours almost to a tee. Thank you . . . for being God’s messenger to me and for helping me deal with what I have avoided through one broken marriage and now into my second one. Thank you for helping me see it’s not too late to fix these feelings in me and appreciate the man I married, the husband he is to me, and the amazing father he is to our son. Thank you.

  26. My husband and I are not seeing eye to eye anymore, it is so hard to not throw the towel in. I have prayed over and over for him and now I think I am praying wrong, not that praying for him is bad but I think I need to focus more on me and how I react to issues and other problems in our marriage. I feel like I am drowning the majority of time. Please pray for me.

  27. Trista Spiva says:

    I would definitely try to book The Respect Dare. It is very challenging but you will start to see yourself change and your husband as a result of you being obedient to God and your husband.

  28. I like what the ladies above said about being submissive and obedient to God. That’s the key. Putting Him first. Loving Jesus instead of yourself. Getting in his word and asking Him to show you the truth. Asking Him to make you the person He wants you to be, molding you into the person He wants, to help do His will – not our will anymore.
    In Mathew 7:24 Jesus says anyone who listens to my teaching and obeys me is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock.
    When we submit to him, He gives us the power and desire to do his will. Philippians 2:13.
    Proverbs 2 – If you search for God’s wisdom and understanding like they are silver, like hidden treasure, so much will come back to you.
    He will heal your hurts and make you a new creature. He will renew your mind, change your negative thoughts and attitude.
    Because of Jesus Christ I am not following in the steps of my mentally ill mother and I am off of the antidepressants and anti-anxiety pills. This isn’t for everyone, I know people do need meds sometimes. But when I turned, truly turned, to Jesus I was healed of self destructive habits, thoughts, and behavior that almost destroyed me.
    Galatians 5:22-23 But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, and self-control.
    But we need to be walking in the spirit, not in the flesh. We need to be sure we are following the Jesus Christ of the bible, not the new age christ so many people are turning to today.
    I’m not perfect. I can slip and lose my temper and say something I shouldn’t. But from how I was before – it is a miracle – and I give all the glory to Jesus Christ and his word.
    So much is said about how much Jesus loves you. But, do you love Jesus? Jesus says the one who loves him is the one who obeys him.
    John 14:21 – Whoever has my commands and keeps them is the one who loves me. The one who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love them and show myself to them.
    Obey Jesus and He and the Father will love you and show themselves to you!

  29. Today was my first time reading the Proverbs 31 devotional and I truly related to it. I have read the Made to Crave and Unglued books and truly appreciate how Lysa openly shares her testimony, shortcomings and blessings in her books. I decided that I wanted to grow more in my life and walk with the Lord in this aspect of my life so I signed up for the devotional and training.
    My husband and I have always been the best of friends and hardly EVER fought or had major arguments. Lately, though, we’ve both been under a lot of stress and unlike ever before have been taking it out on each other. Mostly, I’ve been taking it out on him and he’s reacting to my behavior. We own and run our own business and we enjoy working together and making decisions together but lately it’s gotten to be really stressful and I find myself pinpointing all of his shortcomings as well. I resent the fact that he usually places his mother as a priority over me and I guess I don’t know how to tell him how I feel. I pray that God would help me in my distress over my marriage and show me what I need to do/not do, say/not say and feel/not feel about our relationship. Thank you for reading/listening I truly want to grow with this ministry’s help. God bless you all

  30. Thank you so much for today’s posting. Lately i have not been proud of myself. There has been a lot of changes these last few months in fact too many, my husbands heath, him losing his job, and preparing to sale our retirement home is more then i could bear to think about. But God has been showing me day by day he is taking care of us. We had our home built in 2007 and it has been almost a nightmare that long, from me becoming independent and me learning to do things on my own (except fix the motor equipment around the house). Because he worked out of town. Now he is with me and we have to live to learn together again (Not sure we even learned in the first place, because of the way he does things) we have been married 34 years. I wanted a christian man and thought I had one, wanted a leader. Well now years later God is showing me that it starts with me. I have been attending a awesome womens bible study on the Covenant of God. I am a slow learner but I am taking it in a little at a time. I am working on changing myself first and let God work on my husband.

  31. Wow..but what if you are literally sick and tired and get virtually no help with looking after the house and chores. How do you work on anything but exhaustion and resentment. I began and pray to jesus to help me but I do not know how to listen. What if he does just enter me to give up and leave. I cannot make it financially. I can do everything else alone I am used to it. If he wasn’t here I would not resent doing everything alone.

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