Why Would God Let This Happen?

Why Would God Let This Happen?

January 14, 2016

"‘Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,’ says the LORD, who has compassion on you." Isaiah 54:10 (NIV)

Lysa TerKeurst

I wonder what would happen in our lives if we really lived in the absolute assurance of God’s love. I mean, as Christians we know He loves us. We sing the songs, we quote the verses, we wear the T-shirts and we sport the bumper stickers. Yes, God loves us.

I’m not talking about knowing He loves us.

I’m talking about living as if we really believe it.

I’m talking about walking confidently in the certainty of God’s love even when our feelings beg us not to.

I’m talking about training our hearts and our minds to process everything through the filter of the absolute assurance of God’s love. Period. Without the possible question mark.

Not too long ago, I had a conversation with a precious mom whose eldest daughter is nearing 30 and has never had a boyfriend. The younger siblings have all gone through the whole dating thing and one is now engaged to be married. The eldest daughter sat on the side of her mom’s bed recently with tears slipping down her cheeks and said, "Why mom? Why can’t I find anyone to love me? What’s wrong with me?"

This mom was asking me for advice in helping her daughter process these questions. These feelings are real. These feelings are tough.

And I’m sure if I were able to untangle all the emotions wrapped in and around these questions, somewhere deep inside I would find this girl doubting God’s love for her.

I remember being single, the only one of my friends without a boyfriend, and wondering why. I would see these nice boys and think God could make one of them fall in love with me but He hasn’t. And that hurt.

But here’s the thing I wish I had known then … I must process this through the filter of God’s love not through the tangled places of my heart.

When I process things through the tangled places of my heart, often the outcome is, "If God loves me so much, why would He let this happen?"

Instead when I process things through the filter of the absolute assurance of God’s love, the outcome is, "God loves me so much therefore I have to trust why He is allowing this to happen."

I took the mom’s hand who was asking for advice and told her to help her daughter rewrite the way she is processing this. It’s okay to feel hurt, lonely and sad. But these feelings shouldn’t be a trigger to doubt God’s love for her. They should be a trigger to look for God’s protection, provision and possible growth opportunities.

I know this can be hard. But what if we really lived in the absolute assurance of God’s love? Oh sweet sister, in whatever you are facing today I pray Isaiah 54:10 over you, Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed yet God’s unfailing love for you will not be shaken.

Dear Lord, You are good. And You are good at being God. Therefore, I trust Your plan and believe that You’re allowing this to happen for a reason. It may be hard, but I’d rather be close to You through a thousand difficult moments than apart from You in a thousand good ones. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Isaiah 55:8-9, "‘For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’ declares the LORD. ‘As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.’" (NIV)

Psalm 138:8a: "The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love, O LORD, endures forever." (ESV)

Becoming More

Our faith has got to be more than a label, a lingo and a lifestyle! Learn more about how to live in the absolute assurance of God’s love with our next free online Bible study of Lysa TerKeurst’s book, Becoming More Than a Good Bible Study Girl. Sign up here today.

Is there a situation in your life where you’re questioning if God really loves you?

It can be so tempting to push God away during a painful or confusing time, but try to press into Him instead. You can do that by praying honestly, reading Scripture and putting yourself in the company of other believers who will speak life into you.

Lysa TerKeurstClick here to pin the imageClick here to download this free printable PDF


© 2016 by Lysa TerKeurst. All rights reserved.

Would you like your picture to show up next to your comment? Click here for instructions.

Visit Gravatar.com and create a free account with the email address you use to leave comments on blogs and other websites. Upload the picture you want associated with that email address and you're all set!


  1. Lorie Leverett says:

    The hardest part is counseling people who never found the right man and they wanted a family but now the time has passed for that for them. Heartbroken women who just wanted to be aa mother and raise a family. Those are tough to counsel.

  2. It helps to realize we live in a time when it’s very difficult to marry. So many factors prevent it. I hope these women know there’s nothing wrong with them. It’s just our crazy, broken culture.

  3. God’s ways and His timing are always perfect. I didn’t date until I was 28. I met my husband at 29 and we married on my 30th birthday. And he’s the best birthday gift I’ve ever received! I honestly think I needed that time in order for God to work in my heart so that I wasn’t desperate for a husband, someone to make me feel approved of. Personally, I needed to lose some weight and more importantly needed to draw closer to the Lord so that I could be the kind of wife my husband would need. The woman was made for man according to the Bible, and yet, when God is the center, the husband loves his wife in a way that both individuals meet the needs God intended for them to meet without pressure or demands. When we seek to have someone fill a place only God can fill, that’s when things can go awry. Sometimes in the waiting God works in us to prepare us for the promised land He wants to lead us into. He wants to get us ready so we can possess the land responsibly. For me the wait was do worth it, even though looking back I can remember seeing girls younger than me getting married and having children. My husband treats me so beautifully and we are best friends. We have been married five years already (and now have a two year old son) and I can honestly say the Lord has given us a beautiful peace in our home. It’s all in His timing. He always gives the best. His best is worth waiting for. We are not forgotten. Delays do not mean denials. Just wait on His instruction and surround yourself with Him and wise people who can help you as you wait. Remember, God is good, remember His past faithfulness, cling to His promises, and look with hope for all that He has in store. His plans are ALWAYS GOOD.

  4. Today’s verse certainly struck me this evening. My situation is different than the young girl’s in your post above, but I so needed to hear this message today. I find out tomorrow whether I’ve had my second miscarriage in a row, and have have been overwhelmed with grief at times today, perhaps preparing myself for the worst. I know God loves me (and my husband and our family), but sometimes it is still so hard to be patient and try to understand God’s timing and His plan for our lives. I know that good things are in store for us, and that we need to continue to trust in Him.

    • Hi Heather,

      I read your post and I can definitely relate to the way you are feeling. 11 years ago I lost my first baby, she was 5 months, and a year later I lost another baby. I remember lying on the hospital table after my water had broken and the realization of the fact that my baby would not survive and feeling as if God had abandoned me. I remember shouting out “But God, how could this happen to me, I am your daughter, I have kept your ways, I have served you, I have believed in you, and you allow this to happen to me! Why God? I felt like Lysa said “If God loves me so much, why would He let this happen?” Although God did not give me an answer at that moment, I steadily and surely began to feel God’s presence throughout the days of my grief. I could honestly say I could feel God carrying me, as I had no idea how I could still be on my feet. It was a long road towards healing and coming to the realization that Our Maker and Creator knows the plans and purposes he has for us! And they are plans for good and not for bad! I could write a whole book on how God guided me and blessed me through this time, but for time sake, let me just share that a year after losing my second baby, God blessed me with a little girl who is now eight years old. I almost lost her too, but continued to declare God’s promise for me and His great unfailing love, I came to the realization that no matter what happens or what I lose, God is my Creator and I cannot argue with my Maker, He knows the plans that He has for me. My advice to you is to continue to believe and trust in the One who keeps His promises and to declare blessings over you and your womb. There is nothing impossible for God, and if it is in His plan for you to conceive, you will my love. God has now blessed me with three healthy children, my little Munchkins, and I know He will do the same for you. Keep trusting and declaring His promises. There is a season, a time for everything under the sun.

    • My heart goes out to you. I lost my first child via miscarriage after waiting so long to become pregnant. It took me 9 complete months until I became pregnant with my daughter. I had to just let it up to God and not even think about it after crying month after month. The experience taught me that I am not in control and good things will happen. I did not do anything wrong. It just was not my time to be a mother yet. I know in my heart I will see my son again. I hope my words give you peace.

  5. Thank you for this post. It is so timely for me. I am 44 and not yet married. I’ve recently broken up with a man who I thought was the one. It’s been really difficult to understand why God let this happen, but I’m holding on to Him, as even if I don’t know why, He does. I love your words – “Instead when I process things through the filter of the absolute assurance of God’s love, the outcome is, “God loves me so much therefore I have to trust why He is allowing this to happen.” I going to try and hold onto this over the coming weeks. X

  6. It’s really wonderful to know God loves us, but walking in the consciousness of it is some hard work especially in the face of extremely difficult situations. I have had reason to question my place with God in the midst of a confusing marital issues and God’s call over my life. It was a question of either keeping my marriage and being with the children or giving up on God’s ordained purpose over my life. I made the choice to follow God and was sent out of home without as much as a change of clothing. I became a byword among women. Several times I felt like giving up, I ask lots of questions that i didn’t get answers to. It’s been 2 years 6 months now. Most times I truly wonder how i have kept up with the shame of squatting in different homes, the hunger, the separation from the love of the children, the misconceptions of God’s eternal purpose. PRAISE GOD I STILL KNOW HIS MERCY, LOVE AND FAITHFULNESS . HIS LOVE IS REAL AND WRAPPED IN HIS WORDS!

  7. Thank you.
    Today’s verses have been floating around in my circumstance.Seeing them in print happened right when I needed them.

  8. Truly love this devotional and especially books and the verses
    Of the Bible. Thank you. Strange why such incredible love of the Almighty and His Devine intervention so readily available for us in every situation yet it is so hard to comprehend to receive and own them as conquerors of this world! Today’s devotional helps to clear all the misconception of the Loving heavenly Father’s
    Role in my own life! Thank you again. In Christ with no regret.

  9. My favorite thought? “You are good at being God.” Too often, our unhappiness reflects an attitude we would NEVER speak: “You suck at being God.” I’m going to love chewing on this one!

  10. I married a man God said is the one for me. 5 years down the road, we have a boy and if it weren’t for my kid, I’d have divorced this cold blooded person who loves himself much much more than he loves me. I don’t think he loves me one bit. And I can’t see why God put me into this.

    • Lyn,

      I am praying for you that God would allow you to see His plan and purpose and His love in this situation! I am in a similar situation in my marriage – I felt very strongly that God was calling me to marry my current husband, only to find out after we were married that he was hiding a pornography addiction. At first, I wondered if I had heard God wrong or if He had tricked me into marrying my husband. However, I have grown and matured so much through this situation and know more about God’s unconditional love and grace. Not only that, but once I stopped making my husband into a villain, I realized that he truly is a wonderful person – just broken and sinful like me.

  11. Please pray for my son (and us!). He has really been struggling behavior-wise at school for years, even though he is 8. We have been doing all of the right things to help and support him, but a few nights ago at bedtime, he was crying and asking me why God made him this way. He was crying out asking what was wrong with him…..He said that God gave other people gifts that were good but God only gave him gifts that were not good. He was worried that because of his “not good gifts” that he wasn’t good enough to get into heaven. One of the saddest things I have seen. Ever.

    • I too have a son who is 9 and struggling in school and has no friends. He is a bully but only because he is so hurt and angry but he truly has a tender heart. He has cried to me with the same questions about why God made him this way. It is heart wrenching for me too. I tell him that God had great plans for him and remind him of his creative and inventive abilities. We are working on showing him his loving heart. He has a sensory disorder and ADHD but we are determined to overcome the challenges.

      I will pray for you and your son sad mama – pray for us too! Specifically for open doors and hearts about homeschooling.

  12. Praying for you, Heather. I have been right where you are. You are not alone. Sending hugs and prayers your way.

  13. I don’t doubt God’s love for me; however I wonder if He is angry with me. I have been separated from my husband for two years. He says he loves and miss me; however his actions says differently. I continue to go to God in my circumstance and feel that the answer is to let it go so I can be whole again. Can this be from God?

  14. I have been processing this very idea since my baby was stillborn in September. I realized that I have a choice, I can wonder why and how a loving God could let this happen and get stuck in whether or not He loves me or trust in His love and lean into Him, trusting that He knows best. I may never fully understand but I know it is not about knowing why something happened to me, instead it is about who God is and how He loves me. God lets me grieve and He is near to the broken-hearted. Years ago, I was in the same position as the daughter above, I did not choose trust and went my own way for a long time. My prayer is for my daughter and son to really know God and to know His love.

  15. Mary Samoska says:

    Oh Lisa, I so needed this today. My precious daughter is going through a stillborn birth today. We are states apart and I wish I could be there at her side today, but it is a very private time for her and her husband so I will go in a few days. I wondered how I would explain to her when she asked the question, “Why would God allow this to happen?” I now know what to say to her and to also let her know how this trial will only make her stronger through His love for her. Thank you Lisa for always knowing when to print the answers so many of us need.
    In Christ Love,

    • Oh Mary,
      My heart breaks for your daughter and for you. I will be praying for her. This is a forever loss that she will never “get over” but she will learn how to carry it and I pray she will let God carry her. Two songs that really speak to me right now are “Praise You in the Storm” (That came out right about the time we lost Charlie) and “Just Be Held” by Casting Crowns. Also, the book “I Will Carry You” by Angie Smith. Give her grace, pray and grieve with her. God allows us to grieve. I would be happy to provide my contact information to you if she wants to talk to someone who has been where she is. I know that as her mother you are grieving the loss of your grandbaby and the pain that your daughter is enduring. It is a terrible thing but we serve a good God, we really do. Prayers and Love to you.

  16. Wow!! What a great challenge! I most often question why and I want to change that. I KNOW what God says and promises, but when it gets tough I am the girl who doubts and inside that doubt at the core is that I don’t always believe that I can trust God’s love for me. That is my prayer !

  17. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for this encouraging word today. I am going through some major changes at work and I am upset and discouraged and scared, but seeing all of this through the filter of God’s great love reminds me that He always has a plan for my well-being and because of that, I am going to take an attitude of gratitude (I still have a job, albeit not the one I want) and I am going to NOT second guess God’s love for me. I will give my best effort to the new position knowing that this is where I am meant to be at this time.

  18. Amen Lysa. I can now see the reason for the very difficult times I have gone through over the last three years. At the time I ask God why but the situations have brought me closer to Him and I know he’s in control and is always with me. It is such a peaceful feeling. I pray for this peace for all who are going through tough times.

  19. Your post today reminded me of something one of the (wonderful) old dead guys said a long time ago: “The greatest sorrow and burden you can lay on the Father, the greatest unkindness you can do to Him, is not to believe that He loves you.” –John Owen This quote is a help to me in my doubting times; may be a help to someone out in cyberland.

  20. Reply to Lyn: I find myself in your same situation. It’s heartbreaking. Pray for your husband, constantly and relentlessly. Have others pray for your marriage. Don’t forget how powerful God is. He can change the hardest of hearts. Through this difficult time God is teaching me to trust him, growing my faith and preparing me to minister to others, encouraging them and inspiring them thru my own experience. Try to keep focus on the big picture – your story is just unfolding. Prayer is powerful and our God can do all things! He wouldn’t bring you into it if He couldn’t bring u thru it! ❤️

  21. Nanci Dunton says:

    May I recommend the book “Abba’s Child” by Brennan Manning that spoke to my heart and spirit of the greatness of God’s love in a way I had never viewed it? Perhaps it might minister to this young woman as well.

  22. Thank you for the encouaging mail “why would God let this happen”. it was just what a i need, a word in season.

  23. I needed this today. My marriage of 18 yrs is in trouble. My husband has down things he can’t take back and is now unable to forgive himself, has moved out and is doubting we should be together. We have a 14 month old and I’m am trying to understand how and why this is happening. We’ve always been so happy. I’m praying for my marriage and the strength to know and trust God is in control and he has us going through this for a reason. I’m heartbroken and struggling to keep it together. Please pray for us

  24. Misty Levene says:

    I am on the verge of loosing my husband to another woman. I have many times asked God why this is happening. I know this must happen so he can heal our hearts and help both of us to stand strong in him. I found a website that has been so encouraging in this rough time in my life. Its called Rejoice Marriage Ministries. If you are going through a divorce or fighting staying with a spouse it is a great site for encouragement and God’s word to help you through it.

    • Hi Misty, I used Rejoice Marriage Ministries as well to get through the battle you are facing and you are on the right track! Their material is Bible based, which is the powerful weapon, their testimonies of great encouragement, so keep on and watch God transform you, husband, and marriage! Trust God, He will get that woman out of the way for you! Pray scriptures over your husband.

  25. I wish I could take comfort from this. I’ve been single again for 20 years as of 1 January. I was 35 when my ex-husband moved out. I refused the divorce because I believed God could and would heal my marriage. (After I found out just who the immoral man was that I was married to, I’m glad he didn’t.) But even going through divorce, I knew I’d want to marry again some day. And here I am, 20 years later, still single. All the years where I was healthy, financially stable and had a desire for sex were wasted as a single woman. Now, I have health issues, financial issues, no sex drive – not exactly a prize waiting to be claimed. My faith in God’s goodness towards me has been deeply shaken.

  26. Christine Zgrabik says:

    Good beautiful morning Lysa. I experienced betrayal by my ex husband, which he had comvinced me that I was the problem and I was imagining it…. I left some yrs ago but the those lies have effected me and the divorce has caused such terrible pain with our children. It literally haunts me! I know these truths in my mind, I stand on them,quote them, read them, listen to them… But somewhere in my best it seems Im searching for answers. I want to prove to my daughters that he lied etc. Since they seem to share his thought process its extremely painful.
    I’m in Christian counseling, I stay close to Jesus and sense God’s presence thru this. It seems to be a journey, a continued process of recovery and healing. So many of the things you say RING loud and strong! I stand on God’s promises! My heart tends to wax and wain. THANK YOU! THANK YOU for usingthe beautiful gift God gave you. Thank you for your honesty and vulnerability. Please know when you question yourself, when your feeling inadequate and uncertain. HE HAS A PLAN! YOU’RE WORTH IT! YOU’RE SPEAKING TRUTH into my life snd the life of many!
    Praying for you!
    In Christ
    Christine 😄

  27. Having read through all of these comments, my heart is sorrowful for the hurting women who love God but still need some reassurance of His provision and love. My 3 adult children have never married and there is a serious possibility none of them will. I may never be a grandma and that breaks my heart. I’m sorry my kids won’t know the joy of a loving marriage and raising a family as my husband and I have had. But there’s nothing I can do about it and I’m getting closer after many years of grieving of these lost dreams to saying ‘It is well with my soul.’ I’m praying for all of them and will add all of you to my list.

  28. Lysa:

    This is something that I really needed (Dear Lord, You are good. And You are good at being God. Therefore, I trust Your plan and believe that You’re allowing this to happen for a reason. It may be hard, but I’d rather be close to You through a thousand difficult moments than apart from You in a thousand good ones. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.)!

    My husband has very bad back issues and has been through 2 surgeries in the last 2 years and I was feeling as if (we) can’t catch a break! He is still having issues with his back and is now having knee issues as well. It’s like it never seems to end. While he has not committed his life to Christ, I’m a firm believer that everything happens for a reason (that reason being something that God has planned for us)! I pray everyday for his salvation and his physical body; however, this past week I lost sight of the fact that God does have a plan.

    There are times that I struggle more than usual; I’ve found that these daily devotions from Proverbs 31 help me with those struggles.

    Thank you

    Nikki – Archer Lodge, NC

  29. Martha McMillan says:

    I asked that same question back in 2004 when one day my husband walked out of our home and marriage. I continued to ask that question for the next 2 years thru divorce, bankruptcy, a breakdown, a major move, loss of church home, loss of my mother, loss of my children’s emotional and financial security, job change, more moving. As the ripple effect continued thru the ensuing years, I asked that question even more. I doubted God and His providence. How could a God who loved me and died for me allow me to exist “in the desert?” Did I get my answers? Not exactly. Have I learned to trust Him in the storm anyway? That I have, and much more.

  30. I want to always remember that He is a good, good Father. I would love to win a copy so I can do this study. Helping several friends and family members with deep hurt from recent passings and would love to find more encouragement to help point them to God.

  31. This really hit home for me this morning. I am a sophomore in college and have been dealing with homesickness and loneliness. I tried to transfer to another school last year but other schools don’t have enough scholarship money for me and I currently have a full tuition scholarship. I even had to go back to school after Christmas break a day late, because when I first left, I got so upset that I had to pull over. This was a good reminder that God is faithful to those who believe in Him.

    • Leah, I am so sorry about the loneliness that you are experiencing. God made us to crave connection, yet sometimes we get in our own way and do things that keep that connection out of our grasp. Pray, gather your courage and reach out to other young women. Yes, you may feel uncomfortable and like a loser sometimes, but God wants us to connect. Connect with a church, volunteer or join an organization that you are passionate about. Get an accountability partner(maybe from your home town), to keep you on track with reaching out to others. God is always with us, but he created others to help us live life fully. I am praying for you.

  32. kathy wyg says:

    Good Morning Lysa & ladies….i am going to say prayers for all of you… to the may that are struggling…my heart goes out to you…but..he is there…you just might have to get down on your knees or sit in a chair & do some soul searching….& talk to him……
    that is what i do..i sit in my recliner & talk…& cry….& ask for guidance….& say my..
    Hail Mary’s & Our Fathers…Good Luck & God’s Speed….

    have a blessed day………………kathy

  33. God has been using some tough times lately to work in my life and show me where change is needed. I prayed to God several weeks ago about issues with my kids and the direction my family was going in and God is showing me…but I need to lift my 10 year old daughter up and I would appreciate your prayers. From out of nowhere she has started to have anxiety/panic attacks a couple weeks ago but only at bedtime. Yesterday I took her out on a mommy/daughter day and she had several episodes while we we out. She doesn’t know why or what is triggering this and it is scaring her. I suffered through very similar episodes as a child and early adulthood but I don’t typically have them now. I am heartbroken to see this same thing overtake my little girl. I prayed through her bedroom when she was getting nervous and upset before bed and I have been praying for her for a couple of weeks. Last night before bed I prayed with her and she just had silent tears slipping down her face. I told her God allows things sometimes for a reason, but he doesn’t cause them. I told her he loves her even more than I do and that he is right there with her always and that he is going to somehow use this for good in her life. And that when she starts to feel one coming on to just say Jesus over and over because there is power in His name. But she is only 10 and I don’t know how much of what I’m saying she truly understands. I’m angry that this is happening to her…it can be a very crippling thing and in the midst of an anxiety attack can feel like the end of the world…if you would pray I would be so grateful.

    • Praying for you and your sweet girl. I raised my anxiety-ridden, bipolar daughter and I know that it’s so hard. You want the life of your children to be as easy as possible. You might want to talk to her doctor, just to rule out any physical events that might be happening. Keep loving her and be her steady presence to the best of your ability. I will pray for you!

  34. This is the first time I have ever posted a comment on here, but I do enjoy reading these articles each day during my devotional time. I just wanted to encourage any Christian woman out there, who is still single and not in a relationship, to wait on the Lord, and draw close to Him. Make Him your first priority, seek Him with all your heart, and pray for His choice in your life. I did that over 42 years ago, and He brought me the wonderful man I am married to for 42 years. He brought us together on my 22nd birthday, at a surprise birthday party for me put on my my sister and niece. I had been praying for a. Strong Christian man, who love the Lord, he had also been praying for achristian girl. We met, got engaged in 4 months, and married 5 months later. God is good, and has been with us through the good times and hard times. We have now been in full time ministry for 27 years, my husband is a pastor, he was not when we met and got married, but as we let the lead us through the years and drew closer to the Lord, and our love for each other has deepen, this is where we are now, doing the Lord work together, as soul mates and a deeper love and walk with the Lord. So single ladies don’t get discourage put the lord first in your walk, and don’t settle for second best, but ask the Lord for the best for your life. I am sure glad I did, and I love the Lord with all my heart. We also have 2 adopted sons, both married, one has 3 kids and him and his wife are pastors, and the other is on a Woship team at his church, and he and his wife help out in their church, no children yet. So keep your eyes on the lord. Amen😊

  35. This was exactly what I needed. I was searching for an online daily devotional that I could use. And this was the first one I found, and I won’t look any further. I have so much going on in my life and this was perfect. And I’m gonna send it to my mom to whom this will really give her some peace. Thank you and I will be back tomorrow.

  36. Beautiful prayer today…”I’d rather be close to You through a thousand difficult moments than apart from You in a thousand good ones.” God’s purpose is not just for our happiness, its for bringing us closer to Him so that His glory may live within us, and His reflection shine out into the broken lives of those around us. God’s peace to all today, and may all find their richest blessings and greatest joy through the happy moments and the difficult ones!

  37. My new daughter-in-law, Jessica, and I are having a very difficult time getting along and getting to know each other. Today’s devotional has shown me what I must do. I must “train (my heart and mind)to process everything through the filter of the absolute assurance of God’s love.” Thank you for this. God is helping me through many ways, including Proverbs 31. God’s Blessings to you.

    Beth McClure-Arnn

  38. This devotion touched my heart this morning. I was that girl sitting in the bed crying. Asking God why. One New Year’s Eve I decided I wasn’t doing anything with any of my friends because it hurt too bad being the only single person in the group to bring in the new year. I chose to bring in the new year talking, crying and pouring out my emotions to God. I prayed and wrote down specifically what I wanted in a mate. It was that night that I finally realized nothing was wrong with me and God wasn’t trying to punish me but that he truly had a plan and a special person picked for me. I had peace about it. I prayed daily over the qualities I had wrote down. I trusted God. Little did I know that this man would walk into my work place a week or so after that New Year’s Eve night that I poured it all out to God. This man fit every quality I wrote down. We’re now married with a 2 year old daughter, 5 years later. It gives me chills still every time we talk about the day we met. God heard my cry and blessed me with the desires of my heart just as his word says. My husband is an answer to my prayers but the bigger blessing was seeing God work and showing me he is listening and to trust him even when doubting seems easier.

  39. My husband’s eldest daughter went through this exact same scenario. When her younger sister got married and she was one of the bridesmaids and we could see the pain in her eyes. We told her it was not because God had forgotten her but rather God had someone special He was preparing to come into her life. A year later, a young man of God came into her life and they were married nine months later. They are very happy. We praise God for the young man He sent her.

  40. My issue isn’t with whether or not God loves me, but whether or not I’m going to trust God. Am I going to trust. That simple. Kind of crazy to have trust issues with the God of Heaven and Earth, right?

  41. Lyn- I pray The Lord leads you to come back and read the comments. I have been where you are. Five years into my marriage I was saying the same thing… God gave me my first child nine months and one day after we got married. I always told The Lord he was sneaky for doing that because I would have left my husband only months after we got married. Now, I’m eight years into this thing, three children in, and I can tell you that it can get better. Start praying for your husband and over him right now! Pray over his stuff, over his room, over his side of the bed, over his car… Everything. Drive past his job and pray for him. Read The Power of a Praying Wife. And don’t stop praying. I felt like a moron the first time I walked through my house praying outloud over stuff but God is so faithful. God told me that marrying my husband would be a sanctifying experience. I didn’t know what that meant at the time but it sounded to me like something I wanted. It has been a super hard road. I’ve had people at church tell me that they don’t know how I do it. By the grace of God, that’s how! Pray, pray, pray. Don’t lose heart and don’t get mad at God as I often have and do. I’m praying right now for you and your marriage and son.

  42. My oldest daughter is married but my girls are just about to turn 26,28 and 30. I’m not just being a prejudice mom when I sat they are beautiful. They all know the Lord. Only 1 of them has had a boyfriend and that was for a short period of time because she knew he wasn’t the right one. I know they wonder if God has forgotten them. I don’t know if they pray about it or not but I have for years.

  43. I can relate to this on so many levels. I pray that I can see my life through Gods love. It’s really hard sometime but I want to live in his absolute love for me. I don’t want to question his love. It’s just life can be painful at times not just for me but the world we live in. But I don’t want my faith in God to be shaken. This encouraged me to continue to pray to see Gods love in everything..
    Thank you.

  44. I get this from a different perspective. My 23-year old son who claims to be a Christian, is involved with a girl whose Facebook page is splashed with Satanism – and his previous girlfriend was involved in witchcraft and Paganism. He is involved in the Young Adult ministry at our church, and is surrounded by lovely, believing girls, but he is drawn to girls who are walking in darkness. I find myself asking God continually, “Why can’t my son choose girls who love You? Why is he drawn to ‘the dark side?'” It’s like he is two different people, one at church and one outside of church, which makes me wonder about his own heart. So now I am asking “Lord, does my son even know You at all?” I have surrendered my life to ministry, and am currently a seminary student preparing for my calling, but I find myself asking, “Lord, I’m fully devoted to you, why are You letting this happen?” I pray for him constantly, but nothing seems to change.

  45. I can relate completely. I am in my late 30s and never had a boyfriend. I had thought what’s wrong with me? I kept on telling myself God is protecting me from heartbreaks but it’s still difficult to understand why I am so unique and wish my desire for marriage will go away if I am supposed to be single. Thanks for this great devotional to remind me to trust and obey.

  46. This was a good one for me today, I am 50 soon to be 51 and have never married. Most of the time it is not a big deal for me cause everyone else in my family including my cousins are all married. Only in recently has this become an issue or something I have thought about a lot. With mom having cancer and the possibility of being by my self it has come to mind more and more. I am not sure what my future holds for me.

  47. Being older and single is hard. I have friends with children and having children. When I was younger and could have children, God had other plans. I was diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of 26 and was told I couldn’t have children. That was a heart breaker. Now I’m 43 a three time breast cancer survivor and single. My body has scars and so does my heart.

    • Hi Jackie,

      I was really touched by your note and wanted to reach out. I am 56 years old and have never been married; I always wanted to be but it has yet to happen. I also wanted to have children but I didn’t want to have a baby without a husband. Ten years ago I was diagnosed with breast cancer and gave up all hope. But the Lord smiled on me and brought a beautiful little baby into my life whom I adopted, and she is the light of my life. I never thought a family would come to me this way but it doesn’t make a bit of difference that she didn’t come out of my body. She is now 10 years old, and we hope to have a wonderful man in our lives one day but I have learned that the Lord knows best. I know, too, of your thoughts about your body scars, but they are badges of honor because we have survived a terrible disease. I still have my days when I am lonely for the love of a special man, but I try to stay strong and want to encourage you to do the same. We just have to wait on the Lord.

  48. Four years ago I think my husband had a affair. This is not the first time, we were divorced once early in our marriage and we got remarried. Four people know the truth about this and I feel like I have a right to know the truth. The day I found out about her the woman came to my house and had lunch. He could not keep is eyes off of her. We were having a family get together and she was a friend of someone there. I found them out talking away from everyone else. I just want the truth, I pray about this every day. Five people know the truth and I feel like I have a right to know what happened. I can not ask them I don’t trust any of them. He says nothing happened but, I seen the way he looked at her. I have forgiven him. Just hard to trust him. I also found out that day that he and his brother and his brothers wife and this woman spend a weekend together. He kept it from me. I love him just would like to know if he loves me and what God is trying to tell me. Some days are really hard. About three years ago God did give me a peace. I just can’t seem to let it go. I think if he did not have any feelings for this woman why did he do some of the things he did. We have been married for 38 years and sometimes I do not think I know him at all. I am a Christian and I do not think he is. Other wise he is a good person and believes in God. It hurts so bad some days.

    • Please go to the Rejoice Marriage Ministries site and read with an open mind and heart. God has answers to all of our questions. Do the work and trust Him. God can help you find the peace you desire. Praying for you.

  49. yourmessage today was very reassuring as i look to gods strength and love going into surgery. Knowing god loves us helps during this time in my life.
    thanksfor sharing andGod bless your ministry.

    Liz Dillas-Bermuda.

  50. These devotions have truly encouraged and bless my spirit, I read daily by god’s divine grace, my comment on this devotion really touch my spirit because whenever the Lord wants me to know that He loves and and not to fear because He is with me, He speaks to me from the book of Isaiah from that very same chapter and I know that He speaks because the words stay with me; I thank God for His powerful word and I thank you Proverbs 31 for sharing and touching lives as you do god blessings are upon you all continue in His love.

  51. Thank you for your ministry. You will never know how much your sharing has helped me and my daughter through the last four years. She has battled an eating disorder for four years, at one point almost taking her life. We choose to keep moving forward, however, she had rough days and I keep reminding her of how far she has come. Our faith has grown through this and I have almost literally seen Jesus’s hand guide us. Yesterday was a rough day for her and I saw your post and was reminded that God has a plan and will continue to guide us. Thank you!

  52. Thank you for this devotional this was what I was feeling today, and I read this and knew that God answered my prayers today with a great devotional it was if God had you write to for me

  53. Liche M. Cavazos says:

    “But these feelings shouldn’t be a trigger to doubt God’s love for her. They should be a trigger to look for God’s protection, provision and possible growth opportunities.”

    So true! I was 36 years old when I got married. My husband was 39. This is both our first marriage. If I had married my three ex-boyfriends, I’d be a statistic in the divorce area. At the time it hurt when there was the break up. But looking back now, God had my back all along. He blessed me with a man who has a heart after Him. My hubs is my best friend as well as my soul mate. We even waited until our wedding night to be together. My husband even made it very special. We did the breaking of bread together and we prayed together. I get a lump in my throat as I’m writing this and that was 15 years ago. My prayer for all the young girls out there is that they wait on God’s timing and God’s mate for them. I can say a 100% that I will never ever doubt God’s love for me. Our marriage is still going strong, praise God, only because we built our marriage on “The Rock.” Thank you, God, for loving us and protecting our marriage!!

  54. I know God loves me and I am trying to trust Him. Me and my husband are raising our autistic son who is 14 but mentally 3 or 4. This is a 24-7 job. But I love him with all my heart and he is a blessing from God. This past weekend my husbands mother had to be brought home from rest home because her insurance ran out and she can’t afford to stay. She has dementia and is bedridden. So now we are care givers for his mother my son and I help my parents who are up in years. It feels like too much. Though there is another son and daughter in law helping us with my mother in law we feel like all we are is care givers now. If we are not with his mother we are with our son. God has brought me through many things and I know He is right beside me in this but I do desire prayers because I know I will not be the best I can be for those I am looking after without prayer.

  55. Shanna ball says:

    I am going in 36 and always wanted a successful career, husband, family and that is all. I am single with an 11 year old boy recently diagnosed with autism. I have chronic health issues including recent diagnosis of bipolar mania and psoriasis and I have never stopped fighting for my life. And I believe in the existence of God whole heartedly however my faith fails daily and I am just so depleted. Not sure what my next steps are but I just want to feel happiness from this life and not just days filed with problems. I am a very generous kind hearted person and I am grateful to be a live but I am starting to feel anger for the first time and directing it towards God. I can logically understand the things I read but to feel them and comprehend them to ever be true according to my life is where I struggle

  56. I attended a huge metro church in my late twenties. I saw Christian women marry for all the wrong reasons. We even joked at the wedding shower of one of them that the bride to be appeared to be desperate.

    What a wonderful, godly teacher told a bunch of us college aged women was that it may not be God’s will for each of to be married. She said we needed to be wholely devoted to Jesus. End of story. If we needed an example, we were to look to Paul’s comments about being single.

    Looking back I see now that marriage became a huge idol for many of the women in that church.

    My heart breaks for all young, Christian women who struggle in this area. This is when others need to stand in the gap for them.

    • Claire,
      Your post is so indeed true, and one that I don’t think people may want to admit. I have grown to realize that marriage and relationships can easily and honestly become an idol and something that consumes us. And if we’re very honest with ourselves, it probably is for a lot of people. The thought that we need another person to fill this empty void, to complete us somehow, makes us whole, will make us happy, fulfill us, and will be our everything is truly a myth, deceptive, and definitely not fact. A man (or another human being) cannot, will not, and was not designed to make anyone whole, complete or with purpose. While there will be some who will marry, not everyone will be married and I don’t think that marriage is the greatest call in life that people, particularly Christians, have somehow led people to believe. God doesn’t give anyone more favor or love just because they wound up getting married and sadly, a lot of single women believe that they have done something so terribly wrong to deserve the “fate” of being single. You have to be complete and whole in yourself and not wait for another person to come alongside and give that to you. Because this would mean that I’m dependent upon another person to add some kind of missing element to my life. Believe it or not, you can live a healthy and fulfilled life whether or not you walk down the aisle. I say this because I know plenty of women around me who are in their 60s and 70s who are the epitome of what a fulfilled single person looks like. While divorced, they made the most of their lives and are enjoying them tremendously. I admire them for that. I spoke with a man one day who told me that the biggest gift that his wife had been to him was that she was so fine in being single before they were married and complete in who she was she wasn’t needy, clingy or desperate to be married. In fact, he says that it is a great benefit that she has her own life outside of him. As I approach 40 being single, I’m learning to daily carry this lesson because I can’t live my life sad, depressed, angry or frustrated just because I haven’t been married. I’m now just starting to learn so much more about myself and who I am, which is critical in order for me to be the person that I am supposed to be and if I ever get married. There is too much life to be lived and things to do not to enjoy being single. Thanks, Claire, for your transparency.

  57. Thank you for your topic today. I had been single my whole life and remainded steadfast that God would reveal my husband to me when “we” were ready for each other. I met a wonderful man in June of 2014, we clicked right away and he talked about marriage. In March of 2015 we moved in together. On January 1, 2016 he left me because he no longer loved me. I am still trying to figure out what went wrong and what lesson God wants me to learn from this brief romance. My heart aches for my lost love, but he is obviously not the “one” and did not treasure me or all the wonderful things I did for him.. I continue to pray that I will meet my husband soon and that God has someone very special planned for me.

  58. Good Morning,
    I just wanted to say how much this piece spoke to me this morning and to share my own testimony. I had always wanted to be married and have a baby, and by the time I reached 45, I had started to give up all hope. I can tell you that, although I was genuinely happy for my friends when they got married, it was a hard place for me to be because I couldn’t understand why it hadn’t happened for me. Then, I received a breast cancer diagnosis and gave up all hope of finding anyone. It seemed as if God had abandoned me; I couldn’t understand why that was happening to me because I was His child and had always tried to be obedient. Just prior to the diagnosis, I was in a car accident and had two surgeries on my neck and shoulder. So the diagnosis just completely overwhelmed me and I couldn’t see my way clearly into the future anymore. But the Lord was in control. After undergoing a third surgery for the cancer, I went to my family reunion, thinking that might be my last opportunity see all of my loved ones,and, quite frankly, I was simply beat up and tired, not really caring anymore one way or the other. At that reunion, I ran into an old family friend who was the recent father of a beautiful newborn baby girl whose birth mother was not in the child’s life. It is a complex story and too long to relate here, the but short of it is that I was able to adopt her and she has become the light of my life. At the time I didn’t realize the conventional path I thought I should take to becoming a parent was not His plan; I was able to be the mother I wanted to be, only she didn’t come from my physical body, and at the same time, I was able to give a child a chance at a life she would otherwise not have had. Since that time I have been cancer free and my daughter is now 10 years old. We are still hopeful that one day He will bless us with a man who will love us, but I have learned to accept whatever it is He wants me to do.

    Continue to hold onto His hand and pray. Sometimes the Lord does not answer us in the way we think He should. I would not trade my daughter for anything and continue to be amazed that He gave me a purpose in my life again when I thought there was none.

  59. This is a message in due season. My sister is going through surgery. She is 34 years old believing God for a husband and children. She has had a number of surgeries due to Fibroids and she was just informed that her Uterus will have to be taken out. This is devastating for her and all of us. My other sister is also dealing with fertility doctors trying to get pregnant. I on the other hand is wondering where lies my fate in regards to motherhood as well. Many questions are answered during this time. Please lift us up in prayers to experience God’s peace and presence in the season and to know in all this we are more than conquerors and we are loved by a good God.

  60. Thank you all for your testimonies, It has touch my life reading them. As women we endure so much pain thru out our lives. The beauty of god’s unconditional love is amazing. God bless

  61. Good message and true. I am slowly learning to rest in Gods love in the middle of this storm. However, I feel that when you have a man who loves you it is easier to do this. When you have no one who loves you in a deep way it is lonely…God created us for relationship and that yearning is strong. So when you have that it is easier to believe that Gods love is enough through trials b/c you also have the love of a husband to support you.

  62. Please be sending me daily readings

  63. This was perfect for today! I was arrested for something that I didn’t do and am now facing five felonies. I am having such a hard time absorbing the reality of these circumstances and I am often afraid. This is such unknown territory for me. I was raised in a Christian home and decided to follow Christ for my own at an early age. I have slipped and slid since then but my relationship with Jesus has grown and grown. I know that I can trust Him but my human feelings are often in the way of my trust in His purposes. Please pray for me, that I would continue to know the sweetness of His love for me and that I would have His peace. I have a preliminary hearing on 2/9 and am praying that they will drop the charges. Please pray with me.

  64. Oh Lysa! Such good truths to remember and remind ourselves that God IS good and that He only has our best interests at heart and He will work everything out to the good. We will absolutely go through moments when we do hurt and are saddened by events that happen…but if we then can just remember what God’s word says and the truths and promises He provides us with, we will overcome and be victorious!
    Thank you for this today!

  65. See I read the article due to a younger friend passing on to heaven leaving her husband and 11 year old daughter. I cannot understand and wonder why our prayers seemed to go unaswered.

  66. Thanks for this reminder that God isn’t distant when life is messy. My husband is a veteran and it gets messy quite often. God bless!

  67. Thanks for reminding me that God loves us just the way we are.

    Would like to learn more through the online study.

  68. Dear Lisa, my journey for the past eleven years has been a heartbreak but my God is good and good is my God! My husband suffered almost two years with clinical depression before he took his own life. My youngest son found him and my middle son was home asleep when this occurred. The destructive path of disbelief and grief wrenched everyone’s heart out but God didn’t cause this. It was an illness and chemical imbalance that couldn’t be fixed even though we fought valiantly and trusted God. It’s been very sad and difficult and all three of my sons have battle scars but they are working hard to be well. This past April my middle son, still struggling with the loss, decided to experiment with heroine in an attempt to relieve his sorrow and perhaps even guilt over not saving his father that day. His heart stopped by the impact of this horrific drug and he could not be saved. Again we reel from this tragedy but I know God was there and He knew my son’s pain. God did not cause this but circumstances certainly played it’s deadly game. Our hearts hold onto the promise of eternal life with Jesus and a reunion with his father, grandma and grandpa who passed a few years before my 29 year old son’s death. God is good and good is my God! Never doubt His love and hold steadfast to His promise of life forever with Him. Our circumstances in life are all different but in the end our trust in God will have the finally victory over death and heartbreak. My God is Good!

  69. Gayle Worden says:

    Good, encouraging solid words of truth!

  70. Joyce Grellmann says:

    That was an excellent article, thank you Lysa. It reminded me of the words to the song that Tim Timmons wrote: “Christ In Me.” You gave excellent advice, because we don’t always know why things happen the way they do. I am learning that God uses “Everything that happens to me”, for my good and His Glory. So my prayers are changing from, “Please make it right, or take this away”, to “Make it Count, Lord!” Make it draw me closer to You and to Trust You “In” Everything!! Thank you for your words of wisdom and perfect timing!

  71. Jennifer Aldridge says:

    I can’t believe how much this spoke to me today. Yesterday I was depressed and sorrowful over the turns my life has taken and even though I knew that reading the scriptures and having a conversation with God would help me feel better, I was just flat lazy and let the depression take over. Today God has been sending me notes like this devotional to remind me that he is still there and I need to lean on him. Today I feel much better and the depression of yesterday has subsided.

  72. Thank you for the prayerful inspiration. I suffered such heartbreak over my husbands affair, walking out on our family and continued unkindness.
    I trust Gods plan as hard as it is. Your devotion is what I need to read and reread over and over.
    Thank you and God Bless.

  73. My son is a professional cowboy. He is trying to make his way in the roping world. I ask him last week to let me know the goals he wanted to achieve last week. He laid each goal out specifically. Monday’s came and went unsuccessful same thing Tuesday and Wednesday. So I’m thinking alright, Thursday is out day. It’s gonna be great. Sure enough. He makes a text book run and is winning the rodeo. Yeah, right? Not so quick. The judge waves he time off. Said his run was no good. Wow. Sure hurts a moms heart to hear her son on the other end of the phone pleading “WHY CANT I WIN”. Thanks for the insight of this devotional. I will share it with him.

  74. Jennifer Bench says:

    Thank you for sharing your wisdom Lysa. I am always encouraged by the truths and insight that you share. Our Women’s Ministry group has done two of your Bible Studies: Becoming More Than A Good Bible Study Girl and Made to Crave. Both were great, and the second one changed my life. I am eternally grateful
    In Christ,

  75. Paula Thevenin says:

    Last Wednesday, I was let go at my place of employment. It was a job
    I loved and felt God-given. But I must say after my initial reactions of hurt, disbelief and sadness, I turned it over to God and claimed Jeremiah 29:11. He has something, yet untold, for me.

  76. Teressa Cochran says:

    Hi, I want to thank you for this!! It really speaks to me and my situation. I’ve felt like I’m not good or worthy enough to find someone. I realize that it’s Satan doing the talking and I AM worthy enough. I believe God is teaching me patience and to trust in HIS plan, not mine.

  77. Heather Clark says:

    I started to read the responses, too many had 2 stop, 1st thanks Lysa for your words. I read Fayes post 1-16-2016 & Heather s from the same day, my hubby & I waited 10 YEARS to get pregnant. The first time I ever questioned God, I was working ans a woman had just drowned her 2 boys bc the boyfriend didn’t want kids. I was angry at the world and God, as I pleaded with Him, ” how could you bless that women have kids and not me. Was I going to be worse than that?” My response from God came within 24 hours. Next day had an OB/Gyn appointment. Regularly scheduled, my doc was 2 hours late!!! I went into his office after the exam. We started to discuss fertility specialists, his nurse enter the room & stopped him. I was boiling mad, this guy made me wait 2 hours, now you want to hold me up more. Her name was Susan. I won’t ever 4get. She gave me the news I was already pregnant. Amazing, as all 4 of my babies were. 7 years later another boy, lost a set of twins & was told by doctors I would never have any more. Samantha is 22 months younger than him. After that, age 37 I figured I go on birth control, guess what? We had a 4th child. Born Dec 30. We suffer 2 miscarried before our first, I was devastated. After the twins, I felt broken. But as I held our last child after she was born, it was like she was always there. God completes you. Dont let this world define you. I went so many years without children, cried every time I got my period. To watch a mother drown her children like trash. It broke me. Now my oldest is in college, youngest in elementary. Gods time is always right. Keep you prayers clear, and specific. God knows your needs & heart. Learn your.

  78. This post is me. Except I am 34. The shame of being unloved, unchosen, in the midst of everyone around you who is, is excruciating. Words cannot justly express this pain. It is deep, and never ending in my life.

    My life has no meaning or purpose. I assume God does not love me and loves everyone else more. It’s so hurtful when Christians tell me “I’m not ready” for marriage, as if they have any idea the internal battles I fight just to not end my life. I have withdrawn from everything I once loved, bc it is too shameful for me to be in the presence of others with such abundance, when I have been in so much pain for 20 plus years.

    I was a virgin, saving myself
    For a Godly man, late into my twenties and was raped. in a flash all that belief and hope was taken from me and after that, I have struggled to even believe God. I listen to Christian pod casts and read blogs like this to try to find some direction in the loneliness. But I am so angry at God, and at all the friends and family and well-meaning but judge mental Christians who have no idea how much I suffer. I have no connections and no support now bc I have cut everyone off.

    If someone can explain to me how a “loving” God allows these things to happen, and explain to me how he loves me just as much as my younger sister who is married, kid on the way… Explain to me why God things it’s okay for me to be abused and left behind in life. Last year after finally going to therapy I was diagnosed with PTSD. Each day of my life people comment on my singleness–cruelly. It’s one thing not to be loved by a man, but it’s another to not be loved by God–

Would you like your picture to show up next to your comment? Click here for instructions.

Visit Gravatar.com and create a free account with the email address you use to leave comments on blogs and other websites. Upload the picture you want associated with that email address and you're all set!

Share Your Heart


Notify via Email Only if someone replies to My Comment