When Doubt Whispers … (Plus a Yummy Recipe!)

ACH Week 4 verse John 1:12

“Second grade.”

That’s the only thing I have to say for my husband to know that I’m feeling insecure, frustrated, emotionally hurt, unattractive and generally like nobody likes me.  (Maybe I should go eat worms.)  😉

It all stems from the year I moved and became the “new kid” in school, where I was teased mercilessly for a variety of reasons.  I hated it.

To make matters worse, later that the school year, someone in our classroom (to this day I haven’t a clue who) decided he (or she??) would write some choice four-letter cuss words on our class bathroom walls.  The teacher spent weeks trying to get the guilty party to confess.  We had to miss multiple days of freedom (er, outdoor recess) and sit inside with our heads down, on our folded arms atop our desks.  I often cried, whispering to myself, “This is so unfair!  Why am I being punished for something I never did?”

It was a recipe for disaster for an 8-year-old little girl, and it left me with a deep-seeded fear of rejection.  Doubt definitely began to whisper to me, “You’re not good enough.”  (I think I was around 30 before I realized other kids were picked on, too.  And more than likely, it wasn’t personal.  It was just “kids being kids” — who weren’t always the kindest.  It didn’t define #WhoIAm.)

This week we tackle Chapter 6 of Renee Swope’s book, A Confident Heart.  Chances are most of us at some point have believed “we’re not good enough.”  As she writes on page 102, “Our greatest fears can become the reality of our worst nightmare.”  She continues: “The deep pain we feel as a result of broken relationships can cause us to doubt that we are valuable.”  Oh, that I wish that weren’t true!  But sadly, I definitely know it is.

We’re also diving into some pretty deep material in examining spiritual warfare.   For some of you, this is nothing new.  For others, it’s a bit foreign — so I’ve got a few more thoughts on that to share with you in the video below. (Click HERE, if you’re reading via e-mail, to view the video.)

In the meantime, we CAN be encouraged as believers in Christ that we are indeed children of God, as we read in John 1:12.  We’ll take a closer look at this on Wednesday of this week.  (And we’ve got some fun surprises coming your way!)  Stay tuned!!

STUDY ASSIGNMENT (You’ve got all week to do this!)

  1. Read Chapter 6 of A Confident Heart.
  2. Answer the questions on page 116.

YOUR TURN (Share your thoughts in the comments below!)

  1. As we explore spiritual warfare this week, what questions do you have about it?  (For further insights, see Ephesians 6:10-20.)
  2. Most of us have had experiences, both big and small, where we felt rejected.  How would knowing YOU ARE A CHILD OF GOD in that instance change your perspective?
  3. Do you recognize Satan as a spiritual bully who wants to intimidate you?  How will you take what you are learning through A Confident Heart and prepare yourself when he tries to steal your confidence as a child of God?

JUST FOR FUN! 

Who needs a recipe for disaster, when instead you could have a recipe for success?  =D

This has become my all-time favorite bread recipe, as originally seen in  Family Fun Magazine.  I’ve been making it for about five years now.  One loaf makes 10 generous servings.  My kids usually devour it, though, so I try to double it whenever possible.  Great for gift-giving, too, if you enjoy baking around the holidays.  ENJOY!

~Steph Raquel

Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Bread Recipe

½ c. unsalted butter
1-3/4 c. sugar
3 large eggs
1 t. vanilla extract
1 c. canned pumpkin (not pumpkin pie filling)
1-3/4 c. flour
1 t. baking soda
1 t. baking powder
½ t. salt
½ t. each; cinnamon, ground ginger, ground nutmeg
1/3 c. milk
¾ c. chocolate chips or raisins
¾ c. chopped walnuts or pecans

  1. Line a 9- by 5-inch loaf pan with waxed or parchment paper (or grease and flour it), then set it aside.  Heat the oven to 350’.
  2. Using an electric mixer on medium speed, cream the butter in a large bowl, gradually adding the sugar.  Add the eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition.  Add the vanilla extract and pumpkin.
  3. In a medium-size bowl, sift together the flour, baking soda, baking powder, salt, and spices.
  4. With a wooden spoon, blend a third of the flour mixture into the butter mixture.  Then add half the milk.  Alternate additions of the remaining flour mixture and the milk, blending well after each addition.  Fold in the chocolate chips and walnuts.
  5. Scrape the batter into the prepared pan.  Bake on the center oven rack until a toothpick inserted into the center of the bread comes out clean (except for a little melted chocolate), about 50 to 60 min.
  6. Remove the pan from the oven and put it on a cooling rack for about 15 min., then remove the loaf from the pan and place it on the rack to finish cooling.

 

 

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  1. Having completely given my life to Christ only recently, I still have a lot to change in my life. When I feel God is trying to show me an area I need to change, the devil gets in my ear and tries to give me doubts that God is really trying to change me. Truth. Righteousness. Faith. Salvation. Prayer. These are all things I need to remember to utilise. Sometimes I feel I have a lot of faith and other times I feel my faith is weak. What are some ways I can increase my faith in God?

    • LaToshia Jarmon (OBS Small Group Leader) says:

      Hi Jessica! First of all congratulation on your decision to give your life completely to Christ! To be honest with you there are times as a “mature” Christian I feel my faith is weak, but the Bible tells us His strenght is made perfect in our weakness. (2Cor 12:9). You ask ways that you can increase your faith; In Romans 10:17 it tells us, “So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.” Keep praying and listening to the Word of God… Find scriptures related to the struggles you are having, write them down, and memorize them. That way when the enemy comes at you with His lies, you can quickly come back at Him with the Word of God. Matthew 4 is a great example of how even the devil tried to tempt Jesus but He came back at Him with the Word of God. I pray this has helped you and I will be praying for you.

      • Janet F (OBS Prayer Warrior) says:

        Praise the Lord!! Congratulations Jessica!! Welcome to the family of God!!

        AMEN LaToshia awesome advice !!!

      • Thank you so much that really helps. This journey can be a bumpy one, I am so grateful God has given us his word to guide us. I am also grateful he lead me to this group to help me through the struggles of changing my lifestyle!

      • Excellent advice here from LaToshia! Faith is definitely a muscle and Jessica, the more you use it, the more it grows. =)

  2. There are a lot of things in my life the Lord called me to that I do not always fully grasp. I do know that the world around me has pointed fingers and thought I was nuts. Also, those closest to me, my children and family, have not always grasped the reasons. I haven’t always either to be truthful. I have many seasons of doubt, not mere moments. Then, I cling to Christ and his promises. I ask for prayer. The Lord is leading me on a forty day journey where I fast at least one meal a day and pray for my family; release from some generational cursez, illness of depression,

    • May the Lord bless you Amy, on your 40 day journey. I love the fasting idea and often think of it in a more “total” way, which I often struggle with. Fasting one meal a day is a great idea, and seemingly more doable. However, as we are learning, spiritual warfare is there. Satan doesn’t want us to succeed in any area that draws us closer to Christ, nor any way that we may be interceding for our loved ones.

      Praying for your victory in your 40-day journey!
      Blessings to you,
      Kim 🙂

  3. LaToshia Jarmon (OBS Small Group Leader) says:

    Hi Jessica! First of all congratulation on your decision to give your life completely to Christ! To be honest with you there are times as a “mature” Christian I feel my faith is weak, but the Bible tells us His strenght is made perfect in our weakness. (2Cor 12:9). You ask ways that you can increase your faith; In Romans 10:17 it tells us, “So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.” Keep praying and listening to the Word of God… Find scriptures related to the struggles you are having, write them down, and memorize them. That way when the enemy comes at you with His lies, you can quickly come back at Him with the Word of God. Matthew 4 is a great example of how even the devil tried to tempt Jesus but He came back at Him with the Word of God. I pray this has helped you and I will be praying for you.

  4. Of sexual immorality in several forms, of healing emotionally, spiritually, physically, and financially. I am praying that the Lord bond Satan in these attacks against my family and I, that we will be encamped around by his angels. I have made it seven days and a

    • Father –
      We know your infinite ability to heal everything that might afflict us. Lord, I pray Amy does not forget all Your benifits, You who forgives all sin, heals us wholly, draws us forth from the deepest and darkest pits, You who redeems us and places on our head a crown that shines with all Your love and tenderness. Psalm 103: 2-4. I ask you place a peace in Amy’s heart, lift up her spirit, and guide her through this trying time. Bring the voice of the Spirit to speak clearly to her heart and mind – giving her Your direction, peace, and comfort. I ask you give her the words to battle satan and the lies he would have her believe. Lord Jesus, we know that evil must flee at the mention of your name. Thank You Lord Jesus for all that You sacrificed in the name of love.

      I ask all this in the name of Jesus –
      Amen

      Michelle

  5. Am really feeling the attacks of Satan in the form of doubts in myself, what others think about me, in my abilities. I am also seeking the Lord’s guidance regarding my career, my marriage, my life and where he would like me to be. Please pray for me that I complete this forty day journey, that the Lord leads where he would have me be, and that these generational curses will end.

    • Amy, I honor the stance you have taken to fight for your family, and I’m praying for you.

      Much love,
      Jennifer

    • Amy I pray that the Lord lead you through this journey of prayer and provide you with the strength and wisdom you need as attacks come your way. I pray that each day the Lord will continue to show you His love for you and your family in special ways. Be strong girl!

  6. I have been in a season of doubt for the past couple of years. They have been tough years. I tend to identify myself in my performance which has been lousy to say the least. I loved the part in chapter 6 where her friend Gary says he is all wrecked up, even in his successes. And that God wants him anyway. Oh what freedom! Thank you God for loving me, big ole mess and all! I also love deflecting Satans fiery arrows with a shield and sword. I have my notecards and am carrying them with me. Church yesterday was lonely but I was able to focus on Gods promises for me instead of my self doubt. My soul is leaning into truth.

    • I often find church is lonely because I don’t feel like I fit in.
      God is helping me with that although it’s not easy. Even in the church, some people seem stuck up.
      I realize it’s not about the # of sweet friends I have, but the quality of the friends, He’s given me.
      Consider us friends/sisters Paige!

      • I’m so glad you verbalized this guys… I often feel this way at church.. and the churh I go to is a loving and accepting home of God… So I thing, it must be my stuff. Because of this thought, I often to not attend thinking I don’t dress or look ‘the part’, whatever that is :). And, believe me, so many simply come ‘as they are’ so, i really think it’s my stinkin’ thinkin’ of being ‘not good enough’… But, thankfully, I’m really learning, finally, my ‘good enough’ comes from Jesus.. It’s a process, for sure but, it’s a start… Like, it truly doesn’t matter that I’m i’m 15 lbs overweight and out of shape; that i’m older looking at 62 and things are more droopy… What matters is that my insides are growing spiritually towards Papa God therefore His light will shine through my eyes and my entire being…
        Don’t know if that’s happening yet but, I so look forward to that day! There’s NOTHING more beautiful than that! I sometimes see others with that glow and it supercedes their physical being, no matter WHAT they look like! I pray one day that’ll be me… I hate Satan! He makes me believe his thoughts are my thoughts and I often agree with them because I guess that’s what i’ve done most of my life… It’s so difficult to stop this ‘habit’; this ‘stronghold’… I pray i will someday soon… I pray that in the last third of my life here on earth I will truly believe, with all my heart what Papa God says about me; that I AM Masterpiece! HIs Masterpiece! Truly loved and accepted just the way I am, now and forever! No matter what I do, what I look like, no matter how old I am…
        That I will tune in to the FM station, not the AM station (love this idea-thanks:)..
        God Bless us all on our journey towards God and who we are in Him.
        thank you for listening… You are all my angels..
        felice

  7. I tend to be somewhat of a self conscious person, and honestly, I think I always have been. Though I know I have grown as an adult, I was more of a follower than a leader when I was younger. For a long time, I was the chubby kid so that was a magnet for teasing, and has caused me to be sensitive about my weight to this day. But I know that I just need to keep reminding myself…when those self conscious thoughts start to creep into my head…that I am a child of God. I am fearfully and wonderfully made in His image and He doesn’t make mistakes.
    Praise report…Thursday, after receiving a call from my mother than my dad was in the hospital for left sided chest pain, I really didn’t know where the weekend would lead. All I could do was pack my family into the car, head to my parents’ house and pray for the best. And that is exactly what happened. Though my dad has a faulty gallbladder that needs removing, he doesn’t have a single thing wrong with his heart. He passed all hospital tests with flying colors and we are so thankful. We have a pretty rough cardiac family history on his side, so this was indeed a blessing. Instead of spending a weekend in the hospital with him, we got to spend a big family weekend at home, going to museums, and playing outside. He sings in the church choir, and as I watched him walk down the aisle yesterday morning to the choir loft, I got tears in my eyes because I know even though the scary trip to the hospital ended in our favor, it could’ve gone the other way just as easily. Once again, our God surrounded us in His love and protection, and whispered to us all “Be still. Today isn’t the day.” My prayers are those who are caring for sick loved ones or who have lost loved ones. I know God is with you as we’ll. God bless.

    • Christa (OBS Group Leader) says:

      Wow, Jenny! God is SO good, and I’m praising Him right along with you for your dad! I also do believe that God is SO real and relevant in the stillness of our hearts, when we take them time. Thanks for sharing your heart this morning! 🙂

    • Robbyn R. French says:

      Good to hear your father is doing great.

  8. If. I would have known I am God’s child, when I was being bullied,I would have been able to not tell myself I am worthless.
    If I would have been able to say I am fearfully and wonderfully made, I would not have felt fat and ugly.
    If I would have been able to say I am a member of Christ’s body, I wouldn’t have needed to have such promiscuity in my past
    If I would have been able to say God forsaked his one and only son for me, I would have felt loved.
    I choose now to make these my stories. Make these thoughts my truth. I am a citizen of heaven and that allows all of Satan’s lies to slowly be erased.

    • Excellent choices now, Kim. Powerful post, my dear. Thank you for putting God’s truth so beautifully in words.

    • Thank you Kim. You wrote the “if’s” of my life. I echo what Stephanie replied to you. With you I am choosing to make these my stories too and live in His truth. I am going to bind satan’s lies that he tries to place in my thoughts. My Pastor’s message yesterday was about the attacks of satan’s arrows and how we need to put on the “belt of truth” and “breastplate of righteousness”. We have been made holy and righteous because of Jesus’ death on the cross and our coming humbly to Him asking for forgiveness and turning away from our old ways. Satan cannot take that away from us! Fighting against satan’s arrows with you my sweet sister in Christ.

  9. That is wonderful!:-) god knows what he is doing even though we may not always understand it! I’m praying for y’all and continue keeping the faith

  10. Oh my, what a week this will be! 🙂 I recognize satan as a spiritual bully, as someone who wants to defeat me. I am beginning to memorize scriptures to use as Jesus did to refute the lies satan whispers in my ears. Easy? Nope! Worth it? Definitely!! Knowing #WhoIAm in Christ, really pouring His truth into my heart and mind, putting down solid, deep, strong roots in the Word . . . that’s my goal! I wanted to share one AM/FM thought that came so clearly for me as I was reading . . .
    AM: I am a complete and total failure who will never be good enough.
    FM: I am God’s workmanship, and I have been chosen by God and adopted as His child (from Eph. 2:10 an d1:3-8).
    Blessings as we walk through Chapter 6, sweet sisters!!

    • Thank you for sharing! You encouraged me with ‘putting down solid, deep, strong roots in the Word….that’s my goal!” Mine too! I’m going to search for the same and use Scripture as Jesus did to defeat satan.

  11. What timing??? This chapter is right on timing considering I am filled with doubt and not being good enough at this present moment. When someone tells you point blank that they are ashamed to be seen with you, how could you not walk the path of not being good enough? I have to PRAY for God’s strength over my life and not believe this lie that Satan has said to me for so long. I love the AM FM exercise and will put this practice in place sooner than later. I pray doubt and rejection will be removed from me and God reminds me daily about His love and acceptance towards me. Pray for me as I pray for you. God Bless

    • Monica,
      I feel for you when people are telling you that they are ashamed of you. I have had that experience in my life and have not always looked to God to fill me with His truth. I have been working to do so over the last couple of months, and have seen Him working to grow me stronger and more confident. Keep looking to His word for your worth.

  12. I have noticed that the biggest time spiritual warfare.occurs for me is in the middle of the night when i am awaken by one of my twin infants..whispers start swarming….”your too tired to do this….you dont have the patience or strength, your not organized enough, youll never survive,.lookat all the horrible mistakes u made in the past, how could u be blessed with two healthy boys”…and on and on and on….what has made me win the battle over and over again is singing praise and worship.songs in my head and.really.focusing on the words, repeating any scripture that.comes to mind and saying it in my head over and over again,.and holy spirit.telling me to be.still and know that God.is with and look staight ahead, dont.look back, look straight.ahead.to the.face of jesus, not back where there was once destruction..

    • Melissa, you nailed it. It is tough to walk in the power of the Holy Spirit when our sleep is continuously disrupted. And by all means, worshiping God is a powerful antidote to the attacks of the enemy. (And he knows it — why else would he spend so much time trying to get us to worship false ‘idols’ of this world??)

      God gave you these boys because YOU are exactly the mother they need. As someone older and wiser once told me, “If you’re wondering if you’re doing a good enough job as a mom, chances are you are! Because those who are not don’t even ask that question.” Hang in there, sweet sister!! =)

  13. Kay Youngman says:

    Today’s reading in Jesus Calling by Sara Young is an answer to #3. “When you don’t know what to do, wait while I open the way before you. Trust that I know what I’m doing, and be ready to follow My lead. I will give strength to you, and I will bless you with peace.” When I doubt my worth, I need to have to trust God to show me what to do and follow His lead. When I do this I will be strong and blessed with peace. God be with each woman do this study. with each

  14. Satan is most definitely a bully. But like all bullies when he sees you are strong he runs. When I was a newer Christian I knew I was in the middle of a battle so, on the bottom of my shoes I wrote “satan you are under my feet, in the name of Jesus”. Lol. Both shoes. It seems silly but it made me feel stronger, it reminded me that I was a chosen child of the Almighty & I had been given the power to cast satan out. When I have those thoughts creeping in I still say “satan get behind me in the name of Jesus! You’re bugging me & I am a child of God! You have no power here!” Then I claim the Word over my life (I am a child of God no evil spirit will over come me, I am wonderfully & perfectly made, this is the day the Lord has made I will rejoice & be glad in it, etc.)

  15. This may sound strange but I have praised God for the spiritual warfare that I have with satan. If satan is not after you, it is because he already has you. Satan is a very powerful force but God is stronger. This study reinforces #whoIam in God’s eyes and how loved and important I am. Satan may try to get me to doubt that I’m not really loved, not good enough, not smart enough etc. This study gives us the tools we need to fight off satans attempts to make us feel unworthy and unloved. Memorizing scripture helps me to GIVE it to satan when I feel him breathing down my neck

    • So true, Robin. I’ve really come to realize that attacks from the enemy are a compliment — if he isn’t threatened, he wouldn’t bother with us. So when those attacks come, it means we must be doing something right!! And by all means, we fight fire with the spiritual firepower that comes from knowing God’s word. Bless you for encouraging all of us!! =)

    • Wow Robin! What an awesome way to consider the truth of spiritual warfare! Thank you!

      Michelle

  16. First off, GREAT RECIPE!! I make these during the holidays every year and my family devours them as fast as I can bake them!
    I can totally relate to being bullied as a child. My family moved a lot and almost every year I was in a new school, trying to make friends. I would get picked on and bullied constantly. Finally, I got to high school and put on a persona that “I didn’t care if anyone liked me.” I kept myself secluded form everyone, rarely went to school, and when I did, did not talk to anyone if I could avoid it. It was my way of rejecting them before they rejected me.
    Sadly, this was not very healthy and has carried over into my adult life. I lost a lot of my friends when I got married and had children, and then lost a whole lot more when I was saved. In my adult life, I have found myself getting close to someone and then shutting down from them. I think it’s the fear of rejection coming in. I reject them before they have a chance to reject me. Oh how the cycle keeps going. I have NO friends to turn too and it hurts and is very lonely. My life revolves around my family, husband, and kids. I also find it hard to meet women who just want to enjoy each other’s company, have dinner or coffee, and talk about our Faith and life. Every time I get invited somewhere it is to go to Happy Hour after work…which is not my kind of fun, therefore, I don’t go. I don’t need quantity in friends, just quality. I don’t think my standards are too high, I just want them to be a God Loving Christian like myself.

    • Tracy Venable says:

      I totally understand. I have made friends and things go ok for a bit then all of a sudden they don’t want to talk to me or hang out anymore. I always wonder what I did that was so wrong. I am quiet, I may not be outgoing or very funny but I am a good friend with a good heart, and a God loving woman. I always feel lonely myself and am always praying for God to send me a friend that is God fearing like myself. You are not alone. 🙂

    • Glad you liked the recipe! SUPER delicious! =)

      I think we’re all looking for those unconditional friendships. And quite honestly, sometimes female friendships are tough. I sometimes wrestle with finding those who are emotionally mature and able to extend grace and forgiveness (which sadly, I definitely need at times) … but are also able to accept my forgiveness when they’ve wronged me.

      It also amazes me how many “mean girls” there are in adulthood. Didn’t pesky backstabbing end in jr. high? Well, apparently not for some. I will join you, Ashley, in prayer for more God-fearing friendships with believers!

    • Tracy mentioned the very thing I did 19 years ago (as a young mom who had no Christian friends at the time); I asked the Lord for just one Godly woman to be my friend. Ashley, God knows what it feels like to be forsaken by friends (Is. 53:3) He cares about what you care about (1 Peter 5:6-7) It took some time for the friendship I prayed for to actually develop but now these 19 years later, this friend tells me I am the one God brought to her! I love how God uses our feeble prayers to bring about our good and His glory. Keep seeking Him; He will be found by you. He knows, He hears and He cares.

  17. There have been a few things in my life that have left me without confidence. Rejection by school friends when I was younger, wishing I could be of help to a friend who was deeply hurting but instead being rejected when I was younger, failing at a job and a couple other things. At times I feel so silly thinking at times that I have experienced problems with confidence based on the things that have happened in my life. I had a good christian home that I am thankful for and the things I experienced seem so little. Yet I think they impacted me, I am afraid of failing and have problems trusting. I am enjoying this study and love how Renee Swope uses scripture to pray and to explain. I appreciate Stephanie sharing her story today.

    • Kris,
      It’s not silly at all that we allow past experiences to play with our confidence. What’s silly is when we don’t realize how they have impacted us, and so therefore walk blinded by doubt. Praise God that you are able to recognize these thimgs, and that your faith will see you through them. The Spirit has given you the knowledge to heal! That being said, sometimes I feel like a drama queen when I consider all the blessings God has bestowed upon me, and realize I am often too focused on my life before Christ. Satan grabs my foot and tugs hard when this happens. He makes me not want to talk about any hardships I am facing, and I often don’t share what I am going through. I think one of satan’s biggest game plans is to isolate us, and I have to fight hard to move past that. I’m praying that you do too. The Lord has your back, sister!

      With prayer in my heart!

      Michelle

  18. During my first year of college (now 25 years ago), I met the boy I thought would be the man I would eventually marry. We were inseparable through college and two years beyond that, so why would I think otherwise, right? I never saw the break-up coming. He had met someone else. I was devastated and full of raw emotion and too emotionally immature to cope with this sudden deviation from my plan – and the plans I thought we had made. I had never experienced a break-up before. Nor had I felt such despair and rejection. Had I known God as I do now, that event would have been a mere blip or change in direction. I would have accepted it better had I known God better. My prayers then were all about me and my pain. Had I known God then, I would have known (not just read in the Bible) that He had a plan good plan for me, and I would have prayed for acceptance of his plan instead of praying to be accepted by any one man. I also probably would not have gone into self-inflicted social exile for 2 years. However, during those years, my first nephew was born, and it was then that I learned how to truly love another person and put someone else before myself. I threw myself into helping care for him and making sure his every need was met. It took me a bit longer to learn to love myself and not link every rejection (job interviews, getting cut off in traffic, etc.) to my previous rejection by that one young man. Had I known God like I do now, I would have just rolled with life instead of fighting it and letting its blows keep me down for so long. When I look now at that time, I can see how God was at work to bring me to a better place. I used to wish I had handled things differently, but now I now it unfolded the way it was supposed to – according to God’s plan. That time made me a stronger person. Never again will I allow any rejection to destroy me or my confidence in God, my heavenly father. It’s so comforting to know God surrounds me always. I don’t even have to ask. I know He is there – always.

  19. Amanda Detmer says:

    I hope I do better this week. I haven’t started reading yet, but it sounds like a chapter I need. Satan keeps telling me that I probably won’t finish this study because I usually never do, or that I will still be the same if I do finish…ugh! he is so annoying me. I have to be stronger this week, and fight the battle and show him #whoiam in God. I am worthy and loved and I can overcome.

    • Amanda, I am going to be praying for you asking God to bind the lies that satan is filling your head with. Don’t let satan’s lies determine who you are. The truth is: You are a daughter of the Most High and He loves you so. Pick up the book and tell satan that you are no longer going to listen to and believe his lies. He attacks us the most when we are growing closer to God. Read the first full paragraph on page 107 … it helps us ask some questions that I think will help you. May God’s truth and blessings rain down on you!

  20. GodsGirl4Life says:

    Yes, I know what it is like to be bullied, rejected, ignored, etc. I started reading chapter 6. Was it in this chapter or the previous chapter that Renee talked about the boyfriend who rejected her because of her appearance? I had a boyfriend in college who rejected me because I was too quiet. I was accused of “being timid”. He would even take me around in his dorm to different people, trying to introduce me to them in an effort to be “more outgoing”. Number 1, there is nothing wrong with being quiet! Number 2, I was NOT timid. Number 3, he did NOT accept me for who I am. God created us all different. There are outgoing people and more reserved people. And he basically rejected me because I was too quiet. He told me that he wasn’t ready for marriage when we were together, yet, shortly after we broke up, he started seeing another woman, and he all of a sudden decided he was ready for marriage. Ironically, she was pretty quiet and reserved herself.

    I was bullied in school, too. Would be yelled the names in front of the entire student body, when I was up in front of the school accepting awards that were meaningful to me, being followed home from school, whispered about, getting harassing phone calls. Mom lived out of state; lived with Dad but he did nothing about it.

    Then more recently, a so called church friend wrongfully confronted me on a FB post. I made a prayer request in a closed, secret group that I thought was designed for that purpose. She tore into me because I didn’t come to her, because she thought I was targeting her and other people in her post (I wasn’t). Then things were taken to another level when she and 2 of her friends reported me and a “snippit” of the post to one of our pastors, leading him to believe that the post was written about her. I was hurt. I was sad. I was depressed. I felt like I didn’t belong and that was what the post was about. But all she cared about was the fact that I didn’t go to her and my hurt never got addressed. Sorry for sounding selfish but WHAT ABOUT ME?!?!?!?!

    Just not having a good morning so I guess this is good time to pour out feelings I keep bottled up a lot. Last night wasn’t good. A family “friend” has a tendency to greet my husband and my girls but doesn’t greet me. I tried to tell my husband but he doesn’t care. Does anybody care?

    • Hey God’s Girl!
      Yes. We care. God cares. Your name says it all. You are “God’s girl!” He sees all. He knows how you were hurt by these friends and the one who seems to not notice you. He notices. I know it is hard when people we loved hurt us. However, I want to encourage you that it isn’t your fault. There is something in your friend that is hurt and your post triggered an insecurity deep inside of her that cause her to lash out at you. I want to encourage you to be still, pray for your friends and trust that the God Who Sees will defend you. Love you! -Sue Molitor (OBS Group 6 Leader)

    • I am so sorry to hear of all those things. I care and God cares. I pray that there is a resolution for you that is fair to both parties in the FB thing. I also pray that you know you are not alone. There is always someone to talk to.

  21. I have to admit, since starting this bible study I have been struggling. Even though I have read through this book before and done the bible study Renee had with it, this time seems to be hitting deeper for me. The fear and anxiety are heightened. I believe as I am growing more confident in who I am in Christ, through this study and others, Satan is not happy about that. The doubt almost seems to be screaming. Praying for God’s strength and endurance.

  22. Delores H. says:

    God reveal to me this morning that I have some issues from my childhood that was never resolved, and is now experiencing as an adult – I would never thought this was the root cause of my actions. I remember at the age of 12-13 years old.. we were best friends, we lived in the same neighborhood. she was 1 grade ahead of me. We would go places together…the park, the store,. over each other houses, just do things together as friends. When she passed to the next grade.. meaning a new school for her, it left me in the same school. she meant a new friend and the rest is history. This left me feeling.. rejected, anger, jealous, hurt, non-trusting, and betrayed. This unresolved issued filtered over in my relationship with other people as a adult, I would get angry or jealous – If my friend, best friend now! would get friendly with other people- thinking she to will betray me as while. I pretend all those years that it didn’t affect me, but it did. I think God for loving me so much that he took the time to show me, me! I ask God to heal me of all the broken places in my life and I give it all to him minute-by-minute, day-by-day.

    • Delores,
      I praise God that you are able to recognize one of the things in your past that might contribute to current doubts. I think it’s impossible to heal if we don’t forgive. God has shown you this so that you might be able to forgive and move forward. Jesus forgave us while we were still sinners! I often ask myself, how then can I not extended forgiveness as well! See? Jesus has already begun healing in your heart! I will be praying for you, sister!

      Michelle

  23. Julie Schultz says:

    I have always known satan to be a big bully, and know that the tool of doubt is the sword he wields. I pray everyday for God’s protection from satan, his ways, his lies, his servants and his tool of doubt. Then with The Lord I put on every piece of armor, praying through each piece as I put it on. I do this because I have been beaten down many times by satan’s lies and constant chatter in my ear of doubt. The Lord is awesome in blessing me each day I do this. It is when I forget I have Lord’s armor on, that the chatter in my ear becomes audible. The armor is a reminder for me that I need complete dependence upon God for EVERYTHING!

    • Julie,

      This is something I have never done. I have heard many women both in my church family and here talk about it. This is something I am going to try. Thank you for reminding me of the great power of the armor of God!

      Michelle

  24. YUM!

  25. Christina says:

    I can relate to what this chapter is about. I had a similar experience (two years ago)when she speaks of her fiancé and of him “running away”. I’ve never felt so rejected before in my life. Even when I lost my job and was unemployed for a short time, I still did not feel as rejected as I did when he walked away. This book and particularly this chapter Is helping me to overcome my doubts and put my worth in Christ and not in a man.

  26. I have not commented much during this study. This is unusual for me, as compared to past Proverbs 31 studies. This one has been hard – very hard! I have great doubt! I was very rejected as a child, teen and woman from my Mother. I still carry that today and counseling helps, but that doubt is deep! My marriage is my biggest struggle and satan gets a huge stronghold on it and causes me to move through a crazy cycle of thoughts. Boy do I get grumpy, agitated and just wrong!! To admit all of that is the VERY LAST thing I want to do, though. My mother used to not talk to me for weeks at a time and I would never know what I had done. She used to not sit a place for me at the dinner table. I would beg her to talk to me, to hit me to do something! I would get just rejection – not a word. I was tossed aside! She would just not speak… It was heart wrenching. Still today, she claims I abandoned her by going away to college. She does not place this claim on my siblings – only me. I showed them this way. They wouldn’t have left, had I not left. I do not talk to my mom today. She is in a nursing home at the age of 68 because she is an alcoholic and had drank herself to the point of almost death. My Father died 8 years ago of lung cancer – he was my hero, my light of faith. My Mother refused to care for him during his illness, so he moved in with my family. She thought he was faking this illness to get attention. Ugh! She is a piece of work! I do still visit her, out of duty, when I head to my hometown, and I send her pictures of my own children, but that is all I can do. What I realize is that every doubt and rejection I feel, stems from her and my upbringing. I have worked hard; prayed hard; counseled hard; ALL OF IT! But, dang if Satan doesn’t have a hay day with me! My husband loves me like you would not believe, but there are times when I think he doesn’t and that is definitely Satan. We are a blended family and that has it’s own share of judgments, especially living in the South! 😉 I absolutely can recognize when Satan is on the prowl, but to stop my brain from going down that “crazy” path is hard sometimes. I have to walk around my house and say out loud scripture! That is where these Bible Studies have been unbelievably amazing!!! I have scripture plastered all over my house and it is good!!!

  27. Dear Stephanie,

    I’m sorry that situation in grade 2 happened! You want to know the strangest thing though? This exact thing happened to me too: except I was the bully who had scribbled all over another child’s desk. Our teacher spent days having sit inside, passing out papers for someone to write their name on it and admit they had done it. I finally confessed. I was sorry I had done it, and only later realized why. I wasn’t nice to others because my parents weren’t around as I grew up, and I grew up too quickly, especially when my baby sister was born with special needs and I helped more than my dad did when it came to taking care of her. I never really had a childhood. But I am sorry one person’s actions made you feel that way, and sometimes, it’s not just kids being kids, sometimes it’s kids wishing they could be kids for a little bit longer.

    • Bre, your story brought tears to my eyes. Yes, as I have grown, I’ve become more aware how much “hurting people hurt people” and that whoever that young child was who wrote on my classroom’s bathroom walls was probably just looking for attention in the wrong places. I’m so sorry that your childhood wasn’t what you would have hoped or expected it to be. I pray that you can forgive your parents, whose own love needs probably weren’t met at some point, either.

      So thankful for God’s grace!! In every facet of life.
      ~Steph

  28. Amanda Shipton says:

    The idea of spiritual warfare and the reality of it is fairly new to me. It is something that a couple years ago I decided to take a serious look into it and studied what Gods Word had to say. The only conclusion that I came to was that it is very real and I need to be aware of it and armed for it, which was empowering for me. I also read the book by C.S. Lewis called, “The Screwtape Letters”. It painted a powerful picture for me of just how much of a bully Satan is in our lives. He fills our head with little lies that are so easy for us to believe, or twists the truth just enough to make us doubt or take our focus off where it should be. His attacks are generally not that obvious, they are subtle and creep in slowly, he has a much better chance at being successful that way. Being aware of how he works can make us more alert to those subtle attacks and prepare us to fend them off with the Truth! When we put the armor of God on we have all we need to tell Satan to “get behind me” and make no room for him or his lies in our lives! The power of allowing God to rule our hearts and minds is a beautiful thing! It is a day to day, moment to moment challenge and I often fall short, but thanks to the grace of God I can start each moment anew! I pray all you ladies have a blessed week of study and the God fills you with the joy of His confidence in your lives!

    • Yes, Amanda, EXCELLENT BOOK … which I almost included in this post but don’t want to overwhelm by “assigning” too much homework. 😉 But you’re right — it really does paint a powerful picture and I highly recommend it!! It would be a great companion to this #ACH study!

  29. I feel like I’m in the midst of a fierce spiritual warfare because my biggest doubt is did I really get Jesus when I believed on Him, when I called upon Him and received Him. I know the truth of God’s Word says I did. I cling to that truth. I repeat that truth to myself over and over. I’ve prayed to be saved again and again 🙁 when the doubts attack me, until recently during a Confident Heart. I admit I have prayed a couple times since the study started, but I also started to pray more often about why I have this particular doubt and why I feel so insecure in my salvation. I read the other day in Jesus Today a devotional that said “Now is the time for you to stop striving and let me fight for you. In your striving ot feel secure, you hvae relied too heavily on your own thinking. So you need the intervention of the Holy Spirit. Ask Him to control your mind more and more – soothing you from the inside out. Take time to rest inthe shadow of the Almighty while I fight for you.” This devotional tied in with one of our Confident Heart verses – “How excellent is thy lovingkindness, O God; therefore, the children of men put their trust under the shadow of thy wings.” So I cuddled up by faith – and physically into a fetal position – under the shadow of His wings for a few minutes, believing the Lord would fight for me in this matter of security. Whether I started to drift off to sleep or not, I’m not sure, but I sensed what sounded like a roar. I’ve never had any experience like this. Whether it was a true sound or not, I decided by faith to trust that in the unseen world, God was fighting off the devil and his tactics against me. I wish I could say I felt completely secure ever since that morning last week, but I haven’t always. This has been a battle for 22 years, since around 6 months after I accepted Christ. I REALLY want to be delivered. It hinders me. It beats me up. It seems like there are not many others who experience this doubt. My sister does. I find that interesting. So I started counseling – with a Christian counselor – just to address this particular doubt. Just prior to starting counseling, one day I thought “enough is enough about this doubt. It’s too BIG an issue to have doubt about!! I’ve got to get to the bottom of this.” So I searched online for christian books about the topic, or about faith, about security, etc. I found a Confident Heart. So I bought it and then found Proverbs 31 and the online Bible study. Although, I know I have self doubt and oftentimes don’t trust my decisions, and I’m learning I tend to seek my husband and others to bring me comfort instead of God to bring me comfort, I need a breakthrough. Please pray for me. Does this experience last week sound like spiritual warfare? I put on the armour in Ephesians 6 by faith. I’ve raised my shielf of faith and my helmet of salvation when the doubts have assailed – but I still feel tangled up inside and fearful, unsure again 🙁 I know that we need to renew our minds – cling to the reality and absolute truth of Scripture – and not to be mind over matter necessarily – but I want Comfort. I want to feel Secure. Feel His Presence – and I think I do at times. I know I can surely see how God has been teaching me things throughout this study and untangling some things for me, and that gives me Hope. So I trust that that is Him. I just wish something would click – and I’d have complete assurance. Maybe someone can tell me – am I expecting to feel assurance and comfort? What does that look like in your lives, dear sisters? Maybe I’m expecting too much???

    • Amy,

      You can have confidence in your salvation based on 1 John 5:13, where God’s word tells us, “I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life.” That word *know* in the Greek means knowledge of 100%, absolute certainty.

      You are wise to get into counseling to examine your doubts. I’d also encourage you to remember that faith is not a feeling. It is being certain of things we simply cannot see. (Hebrews 11:1). There’s a great book on this topic by Ney Bailey (http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/faith-is-not-a-feeling-ney-bailey/1100290254) , and a fun song by Josh Wilson that you might appreciate: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AOJU3X5iRoo

      Keep the faith!! =)

      • Just as you were replying, I was unpacking I John 5:9-15. 🙂 Jesus is God’s provision for my sins and my eternal life! God’s witness is greater than man’s, and He has not misrepresented anything about Jesus or about salvation; He cannot lie. So he that has the Son, has life, period! I’ll trust these facts – and not my feelings. Which I’ve been doing for years and years, but I just wish my feelings were confident. That I felt comforted, secure and free to rejoice. I will rejoice anyways in Jesus, my sweet Saviour.
        I do appreciate that song 🙂 Thank you. I’ll check out that book too!
        And I’ll dig deep in counseling to examine this issue more. I want to #moveforward! Pray for my counselor to have wisdom and be used by the Lord to help.

      • Thank you so much for the book idea by Bailey. I plan on reading that. I too struggle at times to truly believe I am saved. The enemy loves for me to doubt many things, including salvation. I’ve tried to talk to my Pastor about it, but feel like I am left with more questions than answers. It’s frustrating. It’s not what we see, but what believe with our hearts that matters. Walk by faith, and not by sight. Been seeing that a lot lately.
        Thanks for being brave and sharing, Amy. I understand!
        In Christ, Emily

    • Amy I pray God’s peace over you. I pray that you will stand strong and know that is He is with you always.
      I pray that you will know His love for you and that wonderous love will destroy that doubt. I pray that you will know who you are in Christ and remember that He will never leave you. He is with you always. You are his child and He loves you very much. You have the assurance and comfort but we need to accept that and at times that is hard to do. Receive and know that expecting that from Our Lord is yours. I relate to His love and comfort with a picture of a child on His lap and that child is me. He wraps His loving arms around me, holding me and I know He cares. Believe and receive, God loves you most definitely.

      • Thank you Meredith for your prayers. I appreciate them so very much! I have begun to wonder why receiving assurance and comfort is so hard for me, especially when it comes to God. I certainly do not want to reject it! I will stand strong and will know that expecting these things from the Lord is mine. I love the idea of picturing myself on Jesus’s lap, wrapped in His loving arms, knowing He cares for me.

  30. Stephanie! Great post and video! My kids also have that Weird but True book! Ha! I loved that analogy! I was also teased in grade school and didn’t really have any friends until 6th grade, talk about rejection! It took me years before I realized my fear of rejection was rooted in lies. I love on page 106 where Renee points out that God asked “Who told you that something is wrong with you?” and how He acknowledged that someone was casting shame on them and it wasn’t him!. We do have a bully who loved to cast shame on us and it isn’t our God! Love, Sue Molitor (OBS Group 6 Leader)

    • My 5th grader is hooked on that series! And there are definitely some pretty bizarre things in there!

      Great point about that quote from page 106. I’d like to have that voice of God playing in my head a little more!! =)

  31. I sometimes wonder if my upbringing in a believing but not following household effected how I dealt with bullying. If I had of known that God loved me this much maybe I wouldn’t have taken all those insults to heart. Maybe I could have poured my fear and grief and pain out to Jesus. I would have had someone always in my corner no matter what. I would have had strength and forgiveness that I didn’t even know existed.

    I hope that by becoming a follower of Jesus and showing my children how deep and wide His love is they can overcome bullying in a way that I couldn’t. I hope that their self image is greater as a result of God’s unending love and sharing it with others.

  32. Do you recognize Satan as a spiritual bully who wants to intimidate you? How will you take what you are learning through A Confident Heart and prepare yourself when he tries to steal your confidence as a child of God?

    Not always do I recognize him as a bully. But lately I have. While reading, studying, and applying God’s Word in my life, I feel great. I have added confidence. My shortcomings in the past were “read a little, do well, and all will be good.” WRONG! I’ve learned that you constantly need to keep the Word close to you and in your heart. That’s only recently that I’ve learned this, but I’m getting better at it.

    Satan seems to always throw things back in my face so to speak. “You’re not good enough… God can do better… Remember when you did this… Remember when you hurt this person… It’s your fault that this happened… You’re fat, ugly, no one wants you, etc…” All of these things ALWAYS run through my mind. I spoke with a close friend and co-worker not long ago about all of these things and he said, “Erika, that’s Satan trying to get you down again. Don’t let him do it. By letting him do that, you give him a power that is not his. Satan don’t like that God has another warrior fighting on His side. Push those thoughts away and tell Satan, ‘Hey Man, you don’t have ANY power over me! I am a child of God! I will not fall for your tricks and deceitfulness! I will NOT give you that power! My God loves me and He will protect me and love me unconditionally!”

    Guess what? It has helped more than I can say. God is with me and Satan is just a pitiful bully because we have God’s love and he doesn’t. He’s jealous. So, let him sulk and give it ALL TO GOD!!! =)

  33. Joyce Allen says:

    As a pastor’s wife, I have worried about whether I am doing what our church members think I should be doing. Well no longer. I know #whoIam in Christ and He is who has called me to do what I do! I don’t have to please others, only Him and He loves me even when I fail to be all He wants me to be and He gives me a “a do over”.

    • TABITHA JONES says:

      I understand completely. I am a Pastors wife and feel the same way you do.

    • Joyce,
      Having grown up as a PK I know this feeling all too well. “Life in the fish bowl,” I called it. We definitely don’t have to live our lives to please others, because Lord knows we will DIE TRYING! In Christ alone, our hope is found … praying for you to cling to this truth today, Joyce!!

    • Mavis Tipton says:

      Joyce as a pastor’s wife also I understand where you are coming from. Many years ago I was struggling with pleasing everyone. The harder I tried the worse it got. I finally cried out to God, and I felt Him gently take me by the shoulders and look directly into my heart and say “You can not please all the people all the time. If you will please me everything else will fall into place.” That was a rhema word from the Lord for me. I have gone back to it many times, knowing that if I follow Him and please Him I am doing the right thing. I actually had not thought about that word from the Lord in some time, until today reading Chp.6 and answering the questions, He reminded me of it. It is something once again I need to remember and apply to my life. Blessings to you my fellow sister in the Lord. Thank you to the OBS team for this very real, getting down to the nitty gritty of things study. We are move than conquerors. 🙂

    • LOL a girl after my own heart. “A Do Over” I get those lots. Or I call for them when I need them. Just love that phrase. Blessings to you and a very big hug. You go girlfriend.

  34. On my own, I never would have picked up this book and read it. I am forever grateful and thankful for your ministry and online bible studies. I am learning so much about how Satan has been bullying me in my life for the past 30 years or so. It is refreshing to know that #WhoIAm in Christ is all I need to be. Thank you Proverbs 31 Ministry and Renee Swope for all you do for women everywhere. May God bless us all.

  35. Satan is a spiritual bully and I will not let his tricks define #WhoIAm. God and His unfailing love will define me. I will use my No Fail Pail with God’s word to prepare myself to defeat Satan and his lies. I will not allow Satan to move me away from Christ. I almost feel like I have to prepare for battle, but lucky for us the battle has already been won. Now we just have to do the work. Like Renee said, “Salvation is a one-time decision, but finding satisfaction in Christ and living in the security of His promises is a daily process.” I will live this and Satan won’t stand a chance!

    Thank you and God Bless!

    ~Johanna

  36. I do recognize Satan as a bully and believe that spiritual warfare is real. I’m utilizing the promise prayers, and Ch. 12 to prepare myself for His attacks – learning to make these things a daily habit/choice. I love the when-then statements! So powerful in claiming #whoIam!

  37. Tracy Venable says:

    Satan is such the ultimate bully. He whispers lies all the time. It is an ongoing fight that I want to win. I was bullied in school too. I was told so many hurtful things that led me to believe they were all true, even to this day. Even as an adult I have made friends that have judged me and said/did hurtful things. Something that even recently happened over the weekend. I felt rejected by people who I would call friends, and kept thinking to myself all weekend that I am not liked, I am not good enough……….
    But I know this is not true. This is satan feeding me these lies.
    I am good enough because I am a child of God. A God that loves me sooooooo much! I don’t need to worry about these people and if they like me or not. All I need is God and that is enough. He can give me what I need always. I am so blessed to have been a part of this bible study. Thank you Proverbs 31 for all that you do and helping me each and everyday.

  38. sara bowen says:

    Yes, he is a slick bully and there when we get up.

  39. TABITHA JONES says:

    I know #WhoIam in Christ and that is all that matters to me. It took me a long time to get to where I felt this way. When I started reading this chapter I could see myself in what was written on page 98. When I read it the first time I had highlighted this part and wrote in the margin THIS IS ME! I have never been very confident of myself and I have always let my weight and different things stand in my way of doing the work of the Lord.
    This may not be where I need to put this part of my comment but I have a strong feeling from God that someone needs to hear this:
    Me and my husband both hit rock bottom about 2 years ago. My husband is a pastor and we were at this certain church and we got hurt bad and I honestly didn’t know if my husband would ever preach again. We struggled for a little over a year and thank GOd we had some mighty prayer warriors that stepped in and prayed on our behalf. We are pastoring again and it has been the biggest blessing. We will be at our church 1 year next Sunday and the Lord has truly brought us out of the pit and we are feeling so blessed from him each and every day.
    I say all this to reach out to some others that might be struggling along the way. God is able to take you through the fire when you feel you can not go on any more. Me and my husband was just talking last night about how God has truly took us out of the pit and put us out there to be the light for him. If you are in that pit remember God has never left your side he is there to pull you out you just have to want the help from huim.

  40. Debbie Sanborn says:

    Grateful for this bible study as it is showing me some things I would not necessarily look at. The one thing I have been struggling with is forgiving myself. When I read, look in the mirror and tell myself I love you, I found that was not something I could do at this time. I realized that not having completed forgiving myself has me in a bondage state. I have asked God to reveal what I am struggling with so that I can address it and confess it and not let whatever is holding onto me keep me from moving forward and knowing who I am. Would welcome additional prayer from others as I process this. I do trust God to help me with this, He has been forever faithful to me and I give Him all the Glory for all the healing He has done in me so far.

  41. Still struggle to really know and believe who I am in Christ, and whose I am. Though I have heard it a million times, it just hasn’t really completely sunk in. Not sure why. I meditate on the word and God’s promises and try to do all that I can to grow. Some day’s I feel I have a “grasp” on it and feel more confident in Christ and then other days…well, not so much. I loved reading that my past sin is not who I am, it is what I did. Ahhh, how refreshing that is to know. I had a bit of a revelation and a peace wash over me as I read that.
    In addition, just reading the post today is encouraging. I too was picked on and bullied during 5th grade and it has left some scars of rejection and doubt and insecurity in me that I still struggle with. By God’s grace I have seen growth in this area. I am not where I want to be, but thank you God that I am not where I used to be! 🙂
    Thank you all for sharing your stories and I love this bible study!

  42. This time last year my husband informed me that he had had an affair, that he wanted a divorce, that he could never love me the same way again, that he respected me as the mother of his children but that was it. To top it off, the woman he had the affair with was someone I considered a good friend, someone that I had supported in many ways because her marriage had ended for this very same reason just 5 years prior to this when her husband did this to her. So have I experienced something that left me feeling rejected and betrayed, definitely. Immediately I turned on myself asking the questions of what did I do wrong, what is wrong with me, what could I have done differently, how will I ever overcome this, and the list goes on and on. But then I made the choice to seek counseling both professionally and spiritually. I knew I needed something bigger to cling to or I would easily slip into a bad place, a pit of despair and self loathing. I may not have been in a place where I truly and honestly believed that I was a child of God and where I completely embraced all that meant. But over the last year, I have come to believe that. I have completely changed my perspective. Granted I still have moments of weakness where the thoughts try to creep back in. But I am now better armed to combat those thoughts with the truths in God’s word. I have seeked support from and surroundd myself with others that can also help build me up with those truths through my church family or these online bible studies or through women in my community that I had not opened up to in the past but have now chosen to stop hiding my true feelings and insecurities from. I am still a work in progress, I battle with spiritual warfare on a daily basis, more than I have ever experienced in my life. But each day I choose to speak the word of truth and no longer believe the lies, I become stronger in Christ. I am an #Overcomer as Mandisa has so eloquently put it. I am slowly discovering #WhoIAM in Christ.

    • Jessica, Terribly sorry for all that you’ve endured. But WOW, such a voice of hope and truth.

      Spousal betrayal is unbelievably difficult. I pray you continue to seek truth, and am so thankful for your supportive church family and women in your world who are encouraging you on this journey. Blessings to you, sweet sister!

  43. jennie haave says:

    I only know couples not any single christian women who would encourage me in the christian walk

  44. I’ll take question number 3. Satan is a bully. He gets threatened real bad when we read our Bibles and continue to have a relationship with God. Satan likes to remind me of my failures and I remind him of his future. God wins! Yea! God tells me He will chain him up and throw him into the lake of fire. If I was him I don’t think I would stick around after hearing that. I call on the power of Jesus. Apparently I must be doing something right if satan has his underwear in a bunch and feels he has to bother me.

  45. I do feel bullied by “something” at times! For example, I was taking some “selfie” pics on my smart phone, and sometimes those pics just don’t look the greatest!! 😉 But, as I was thinking about it later, I was feeling a little silly that I had been taking them, and a clear, almost like a voice, reverberated in my head saying “YOU ARE SUCH A LOSER.” It shocked me how loud and forceful it was. I know that I am NOT a loser, but a child of a King! However, that doesn’t stop those moments where Satan tries to bring me down to pity party level. And it works sometimes, I’ll be honest!
    And as long as we are being honest, I am having trouble keeping up with this study!! Boo. I have been so busy as of late. I seem to have no connection to this study and aren’t sure why. Maybe this is the warfare you speak about????

    • Beth, Definitely sounds like there are reasons why the enemy doesn’t want you to finish this book!

      Give yourself the freedom and grace to skip ahead to Chapter 6. You can go back and visit the earlier chapters later. Just keep on keepin’ on. And I have a feeling you’re going to love Wednesday’s post!!

      ~Steph

  46. I could definitely relate to the story of rejection at the beginning of chapter 6. It was neither a man nor any specific individual that rejected me but a community. Rejection has been a lifelong phenomenon for me. Having only enough vision to make out blurry shadows at an arm’s length, I have had teachers refuse to allow me in their class, peers shun me, volunteer coordinators ask me to leave, college admission agents rip up my information request card and so on and so on and so on. I am a stubborn fighter that has worked overtime to prove my ability or right to participate in every area. I have never dated much, too skinny, flat chested, cross-eyed and, especially as a teen, very lacking in self-esteem. Plus my parents were rather old-fashioned and insisted that I dress in laughably out-of-style clothes and not a trace of make-up. By the time I had finished grad school, I had prayerfully decided that I had a calling to monastic life. This was not a knee-jerk reaction to any particular life event; I had been toying with the idea of religious life since adolescence. At the age of 28 I entered a Benedictine monastery and moved into the formation process. I recall an older nun stopping me more than once to tell me that I would never profess final vows because the community would never accept a blind woman into a lifelong commitment. My day to day experience with the community did not support that conclusion and I chalked her remarks up to her own prejudices. But, seven years later, my request for final vows was denied. I was told by my formation director that she had never seen anyone try harder, but that they just did not feel I was right for the community. I had done nothing wrong and there was nothing I could do to “fix” the situation. On retreat shortly before I made that request, I had an experience in a middle-of-the-night prayer of God turning away from me. The image of God turning God’s back on me became my image for my rejection from monastic life. It was one thing for sinful humans with their fears and prejudices to reject me. But, to have God say no to an offer of service in religious life hit on a totally different level. I know in my head that God does not reject anyone. I know that God leads us lovingly even when doors are shut. But, my heart has never fully accepted that message.

  47. Linda Vick says:

    I know that the Evil One is always looking to infiltrate our minds, thoughts and feelings using the doubt we have. When I was sexually molested as a child, he used my age & innocence to make me believe I had done something to deserve it. When I was in the middle of puberty, maturing, filling out and boyfriends would want to ‘explore’ , the Evil One led me to believe that it was the only any boy would want me (sexually). When I was older and had a friend going through a divorce & I was trying to support her through it, he used her bitterness on the failure of her marriage to lead me to doubt MY husbands love, support and fidelity. When my daughter became sick w/cancer at the age of 17, the Evil One really outdid himself and I actually was angry at God for letting this happen to her, instead of someone else, like ME. Through it all, because of the awesome gift of the Holy Spirit, I eventually came back to the truth and and gained that peace that I know #WhoIAm ~ I am a child of the One true King, and thank Jesus every day for the love, grace and mercy that I am given, though never deserve, through His sacrifice on Calvary.

  48. This is in reference to question 1, as i wager spiritual warfare. I learned these past two days that although i wear many hats and have many things to do as a mother, wife, homeschool mom, nutritionist, nurse etc, at times i feel i am not good enough as a mom. Even though I wear many hats, sometimes I don’t always say the right thing while trying to do the right thing….and I learned this past day that we all make mistakes. My biggest critic is me: I put myself down because I cannot handle all the issues or things happening in our lives and I cannot help everyone in the family at the same time when they all need me. But my biggest mistake is not quieting myself so that i can hear God’s wisdom, know the direction he is giving me with all areas including one of my teenagers. I pray to Him for constant guidance and I know the answers will come as they have before. Today is a new blessed day because this Bible study is helping me see that all things are possible with Christ who strengthens me..

  49. Boy do I resonate with Steph’s video today! I am a Navy brat so I moved every 4 years of my life. I was the “new” kid alot and I can tell you it is tough! I NEVER fit in and as a result was never myself until much later into my adult life. I would be whoever they wanted me to be to fit in, I would do whatever they wanted me to do to fit in, I wasn’t who God wanted me to be. Thankfully, He has worked in my life and shown me where I have been to give me truth today. It was a long journey of self-loathing, denial, and hurt to come to where I am. I worked to forgive myself for many years. I am so blessed and God is SO good! PRAISE HIM!

    • If anything it definitely moves me to pray for my own kids to be super kind other “new kids” each and every school year! It doesn’t have to be difficult all the time, but sometimes it sure is!

  50. I believe that living as a Child of God would look like me being ok not being married. One of my biggest fears is to be alone the rest of my life. and I fear that I will never be there.

  51. I am so grateful for the knowledge of spiritual warfare because it keeps me on my toes and reminds me to stay connected with our Lord constantly.

  52. Today I saw a friend who I had made afternoon plans with get in a car and drive away with another couple I am acquainted with. Immediately, I began to question why she was going out with someone else when we had plans. Normally, I would have worried about this for the rest of the day, but I remembered Renee’s AM and PM advice. “When doubt comes against me, saying I’m not good enough, I will focus on the truth that God is for me! I identified what thought triggered my self-doubt, compared it to God’s thoughts towards me, and looked for a promise in God’s Word to replace the lie that Satan had filled my heart with.” Thank you Renee for your website where I found your “Are my Thoughts “For Me” or “Against Me” worksheet. I also enjoy watching your videos and following along with your video worksheets. I am going to use the AM and PM idea to overcome my “I’m not good enough” belief.

  53. I am looking forward to this weeks study. I know that the devil is attacking my family and I know that my struggles are not against flesh and blood but against principalities and things that exhalt themselves above God (paraphrased). I have known in my heart for a few weeks now that I need to get more serious about spiritual warfare. I’m ready God!
    Also excited to try this recipe. I’ll be making it gluten free so I hope it turns out just as yummy. Thanks for sharing – I love all things pumpkin. 🙂

  54. Sometimes I think (know) I give the Enemy too much leeway in my life, allowing him to beat up on me. As hard as it is to admit, Chapter 6 is great for me because I have a bad habit of telling myself that I’m not good enough all the time. I like the sentence on page 111 that states, “The truth is, we are all “wrecked up,” but we are loved with reckless abandon by the King of Glory.” I’m going to carry that in my heart all week.

    • Robbyn R. French says:

      I know I love that statement. Sherma I like when I close the door on Satan and go your not allowed in here anymore…this INN is full.

  55. Nina Gamble says:

    I am aware now that Satan is a spiritual bully who wants to intimidate me. Through my reading, answering questions in my journal and reading others comments I am so encouraged. I have been intimidated by my supervisor, my use to be best friend (broken relationship), others who spoke in a way that made me feel so small and not of significance at all. I have been so encouraged by the Word of God repeating to myself that I am more than a conqueror and that there is more for me than against me. Instead of being quiet with my supervisor, I was able to talk to her about how she made me feel and she even expressed somethings about how I made her feel with my indirect responses. Even when she does those annoying things again, it does not stop me from treating her the way I want to be treated. The change came “In” me because I am not allowing her anyone else to change me from being the loving and caring person I am. What I do struggle with from going through this intimidation experience is that I try my best to not to get too close to anyone because of the possibility of being rejected or intimidated. In replacing that bad habit, I tell myself that everyone is not out to get me and ask God to help me when I get that feeling of anxiety when others try to connect. Things I have been procrastinating on doing because of my insecurities, I am taking the steps one at a time to not only start but finish confidently. I was born with a purpose and truly believe it this time.

  56. Robbyn R. French says:

    Good Evening;
    You know God never ceases to amaze me. I am working through the Christian 12 steps of Celebrate Recovery. It has come time (for a very long time now) for me to do my 5th step. My 4th step this time around was about the deep seeded resentment I had against myself. Yesterday my sponsor and I over the phone finally did my 5th step and I confessed to her the resentments I had against myself for the sinful life I was leading. Allot of the deep seeded resentments came up again when I went on my Rachel’s Vineyard Weekend and I removed the rock of not forgiving myself. Then my daughter’s boyfriend has decided that he is my God and he can judge me and my past so I am not allowed to be with my grandsons. Sorry to be rambling. My sponsor gave me a challenge. To sit and be quiet with just my bible and God. Let God speak truth into my heart on who I really am in Christ. Fast forward to tonight after work..got dinner in the oven sat down with my ACH book and bible and this whole Chapter is about (yep you guessed it) replacing Satan’s lies with God’s truth. I think I am going to reread this chapter. I am going to buy some index cards and start carrying verses around with me. I am going to let God’s truth saturate me to the very deepest part of my being to where darkness may be trying to hide. I am fully embracing God’s truth and light. I am the Daughter of the King #WhoIAm

    Robbyn

    • Robbyn,
      You sound like you are making so much progress! I pray that things work out differently and that you are able to spend time with your grandsons!
      Blessings,
      Jennifer

  57. The chapter this week really speaks with my past and how I feel like I am not good enough. Satan for sure whispers that in my ear whenever I consider starting a relationship. The last three men I was in relations with married the woman they dated directly after me.. and the whole time I wonder “what’s wrong with me?” I still struggle with actually conceptualizing that the only love I need is from Christ. My growth in Christ and accepting his love has come a long way and honestly I am very proud to be a daughter of Christ. His love has brought me through those very hard breakups and it heals my heart to have him with me always.

  58. This post is broadcast from deep in the trenches, sisters! What a past few weeks it has been. I want to thank all of your prayers, support, and love since this study started. BUT… and I know I’m pulling from last week, it’s time to move forward. This is ironic, because I still feel spiritual stuck in last week, but that thought is a doubt and a lie – and I choose light and truth. Since I didn’t post last week, except to unload and ask for prayer, I wanted to start with a few things I learned through it all.

    1. Never wait to say you are sorry. Be prompt and humble when asking for forgiveness. During this week, I made a very hurtful statement to my husband. It was out of anger, but not the arguing, yelling, let’s brawl type of anger. It was an earnest statement made during an in-depth conversation where we were both trying to convey our needs due to the frustrating and sadness during this anniversary of such a life changing event. I said something that completely shut down his needs in the name of validating my own needs. I thought I had the right to be out of control of my pity, and become emotionally detached; leaving him to take care of me instead of taking care of each other. As the rest of this week tripped by, I was growing frustrated that even though I felt better, he was still moody and withdrawn. Of course this brought me down again, and it has been a cycle all week. The Spirit has really gently been nudging me all week to apologize for the statement after I realized how selfish it was. I didn’t until last night. We both feel a little better, but this leads to number two.

    2. Don’t look even to your spouse above God for validation and ultimate comfort. Man will fail you, but God will not. Although I hit my knees or bowed my head countless times just to make it through every day, Steve and I seemed to forget that God is the center of our marriage. Like a braid, it takes three parts. If you only have two, it untwists. So, had we come together and focused on God for our comfort and healing, the outcome and trials of this week might have been different. The good news is that God taught me a lesson through this – and I love that He always shows me new things for His glory.

    3. It might hurt, but I can persevere. With God alone. Under the wire to get my mural done, I HAD to go work on it every day. No emotional sick days. Alone in their basement painting, I knelt and prayed for God to see me through just more more piece. One more section. One more hour. And He did. His strength, not my own.

    4. God answers prayers. Looking at this mural (sorry ladies! you must be sick of hearing about it by now!) I prayed that God would just guide my hand. I told Him this was too big for me – that I was lost and had no idea how to get down the path to finished. He did answer my prayer, but not in a way I would have ever expected. His ways are higher than mine. The answer? The bobcats were mounted on the wall, and go figure – they were floating in mid air, or more accurately . mid-tree. Not quite mounted where I had planned. I cried. I prayed. I cried. I cried. Then I had a new strength and resolve to get this right. I know that God handed me this challenge, and like Gideon, He believed in me. I printed out a picture of what I had done and went to town with my colored pencils, remaking the bottom to accommodate the flying cats. The God-thing? The areas I had to paint over were mostly unfinished. These were the parts I had asked God to help me with. I hadn’t imagined He’d lead me to just paint over them (the finished parts had a LOT of crazy detail – that’s how I procrastinate as an artist!). When I went to work at painting over those areas I really felt liberated! Adios crazy root system, see ya middle of the bottom forest floor that has remained brown since I started. God showed me that I spend way too much time on details in my life and never stop to look and see what other opportunities He is presenting me with. Oh yeah, then there is that part about how He covets us in newness, erasing our past. Really powerful.

    5. God hears and answers intercessory prayers too! After the bobcats were hung, my jaw dropped. That would have left me two days to fix everything without just slapping some green paint over the bottom. I don’t deal well with confrontation. I avoid it. At all costs. But, I knew God is urging me to see this to completion without pride. I discussed options with Steve, which I confess ranged from throwing white paint all over it, leaving a letter of resignation on a post-it note on the mural, to turning the bear around to face the mural with a paintbrush between it’s claws! He’s not been understanding (Our family has been sick, and full out sick for one week where I missed a few days. Also, let’s just say he’s a get it done kind of guy. Opposite of me – he could care less about details, but I feel I have to finish what I started the way I started.) so I felt bitter and angry. Taking our best step of faith, even though it felt like we were wearing socks, we decided to call – apologize for underestimating the length of time, and missed days due to illness (really!?!). But so goes humility. “submit unto your bosses kept going through my mind like a loop. I coyly asked if my husband thought boss-man would respond better to me or him. In other words – “will you call for me?” Guess who called? Yep, moi. I prayed for God to soften His heart if it was in Gods will. I had written a list of what I might meed to say if I had met resistance, the conversation lasted 2 minute. One more week! That’s all I need. I am confident in this, although I’m still acquiring a taste for humble pie! Trust me, it was God alone who moved this man’s heart, not coincidence, or a good mood, and definitely not anything I said in our 120 second phone call! 5. The word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God. When I wasn’t praying to get through the week, I wad reciting Scriptures over and over to cancel out negative thoughts and lies and gain perspective.

    6. We need fellowships to lift us up. Thank you.

    Michelle

  59. Debbie Tapparo says:

    I loved this chapter! It brings happiness and joy into my heart to know that I only need to look to God for my self-worth. There is no other person, place, thing or situation that can give me his truth. Anything other than the love and acceptance of my Father is lies and comes from Satan. I’ve given this book to my sister who is presently dealing with the probability of a divorce after 28 years. This chapter alone will show her that she is loved and cherished by the only one who matters. Her Father God!

  60. The enemy and spiritual warfare are not new to me. Especially since I started praying, obediently and consistently for a man who needs Jesus. I have been bombarded by the enemy since the beginning of this OBS! I know when it’s happening now, if I feel doubt and fear I know it’s not from God. I claim the authority of Jesus’ shed blood and make the devil flee. Friday (11/1) and today (11/4) I have been completely overwhelmed to the point of really not knowing how I was going to get through the day because of the doubt and insecurity being doused on me. I’ve been fine since I called on the precious name of Jesus to make the devil flee. As I continue my prayer warrior fight for Matthew, and as I do the work through this OBS, I will stand and do as God asks me because I know He is bigger and stronger than the enemy and I trust God!! I T-R-U-S-T GOD!!!!!!!

    Thank you Jesus for loving me, bless my sisters in the OBS as we all learn to trust you and give you the battles to fight and win.

  61. This chapter was absolutely written to encourage and calm me today. After going through two rough breakups, the first guy who had broken my heart came back to me, much like “Mike” did o Lisa, asked for a second chance, and said he had prayed and wanted to do this again. My friends also told me to run, but I didn’t listen. And I ended up broken hearted and rejected, yet again. But this time brought me to such a deep, dark place. I became almost obsessive — wondering who he was with, why the girl in his facebook picture was so much prettier or skinnier than me. I even got upset over the second guy last night, after he brough a new girl he was dating to church — and I didn’t even want to date him anymore! But things he had said to me — how I wasn’t skinny enough, worried too much, was too impatient — that all came to the surface and I could only guess that this girl had everything righ t with her he pointed out was wrong in me. I was distracted by the enemy during our church service, and ran out just bawling. A friend even texted me this morning that she felt like I was in the midst of spiritual warfare. Thank you for this post and your comments on that — I am praying hard to fight off this spiritual battle and focusing on spending time combating the AM thoughts with my PM thoughts. I will NOT meeasure my selfworth in guys or what they see in me. I am a child of the King. He sees me as so perfect his son died for me — and nothing else will every come close to that, and when I hold up false idols, they too will disapoint me and send me on a downward sprial.

  62. Just finished reading the chapter and writing out my scripture cards and answering the questions from chapter 6. This study has not been without some deep emotional issues that have come to light. Today is the first day I feel full of hope and much love from God. I am starting to really understand how I am valued and loved and my value is from God and not man. I am so thankful I found this study at this time. I have been out of deep study for a while and I truly feel blessed and I think I was holding my head up a bit higher today as I feel my confidence increasing with God holding my hand along the way. 🙂 hugs!

  63. Lynn fincher says:

    Satan is always around the corner or even closer then that we just need to. Be praying all the time any know God is on our side and will always be there and I thank Him for all He has done in my life. Through those many times of fear of rejection for myself He has lifted me up and had me press forward .He lets me know Who I Am a child of the King..:)

  64. I definitely believe that satan is a spiritual bully. I have noticed more frequent attacks when I am really immersed in Bible study and/or worship. I really try to recognize the influx of worry and doubt as exactly what it is, a spiritual attack. I know these feelings aren’t from God and have to make the effort to replace them with God’s truth. I like to use memory verses/notecards to have a quick reminder of truth. After a discussion with my friend about the Armor of God, she told me that when she is dealing with a difficult situation, she envisions God standing before her ready to protect her. I love the vision she described, as well as the detail in Ephesians 6:10-20. Both provide imagery that is empowering and makes me feel ready to face attacks that come my way. I know God IS my shield and will protect me.

  65. Elsie Daly says:

    YES! I do know about spiritual warfare, it IS true! Anytime we try to step up, the enemy knocks us down, or at least tries to. It frustrates me that I don’t think to put on the armor of God right away! It’s like the commercial where you slap your forehead and say “I could have had a V-8!” Even though I haven’t contributed much to the comments etc. or been on the conference calls, I am enjoying this study and learning a lot from it. I am listening to the calls when I can. I actually tried to do a blog, but am having a little trouble. I need to find some quiet time and go over the instructions once more. The enemy is filling up my quiet times with more stuff to do! Schedule changes at work, etc. Car broke down, little things like that. It gets frustrating!

  66. I really like the idea of admitting it is true….”I am all wrecked up” instead of trying to defend myself. When I can leave the defending to God then I am alot better off. I just told my husband the other day that I wanted it to be okay if we didn’t have it altogether….because we know that God is with us and that He loves us, and He is going to take care of us….Some of the things from our study are just now starting to sink in. I just heard myself saying in my head “What is wrong with me?’ I don’t know if I always do that or not, but I recognized it today so I am going to work at focusing on some of the For Me thoughts that Renee talks about in the book(: Blessings to all

    • “What is wrong w/me” I ask myself that a lot. The enemy messes with my mind.
      God replies with a sweet song, that nothing is wrong, with you, my sweet daughter. I love you very much! You are precious in my sight..!
      so thankful we don’t have to have it all together ourselves, beautiful point!
      Thanks for sharing

    • Same here! I love that God sees who we will become through him and I know that I need to improve my thoughts with FOR ME thoughts and scriptures to speak outloud when I am bombarded with negative thoughts about myself or what others are thinking.

  67. I’ve been crying for so long trying to be good enough, to be liked, to be loved but it seems that whatever I do I am rejected. When I was a child my brother would call me ugly constantly and my parents never told him not to. I grew up feeling so ugly and unworthy. Today was one of those days and I opened my mail and there are these wonderful words that are a revelation to me. Thank you!

  68. Jamie-Lee Walker says:

    #WhoIAm is found in the FM not the AM through the Great I Am!

    I’m loving th hope I feel from this chapter. It really is easy to bog yourself down in thinking about our doubts / worries & fears. This chapter has lifted that cloud hanging over my head from what came up for me last week & given me hope for my future with God.

    I have to share a quick ‘Praise God’ story!…God told me last week that I needed to talk to my husband about a time I have been less than faithful in our marriage. This was something I had tried to bury before, thinking it was long in the past & didn’t matter. Anyway, after prayer & consideration I finally plucked up the courage to bring it up. What happened next was crazy weird – It turns out I had already told my husband about this but had somehow forgotten that I had.

    So why did God want me to tell him?…My husband later told me that in telling him it reminded him that I cared enough about our marriage that I would bring something up like that out of left field that could have caused massive judgement upon me & it totally reaffirmed to him the love & commitment I have for him. Here I was thinking it would give him another reason not to trust me….God is so good & He most certainly goes before us. He can be trusted!

  69. I didn’t know that my silence, my quietness comes across as rejection. As a kid I was bullied and I also was the bully. I was made fun of because of my race and my family being extremely poor. we were the “different” ones in the neighborhood. Somewhere I just shut down. I went so deep inside, that I don’t even think about life, I go through the motions of life, I function but don’t even give a thought to what I am doing. It is so strange and hard for me to express, my I can honestly tell you that I don’t think, I don’t comprehend what I read. I can be in a group of people, whether its my family or co-workers or just me and another person. I hear the words that are being spoken, but I am not taking them in. Everyone is talking and laughing and having a good time, and I’m there like a shadow, when I try to contribute to the conversation, people usually just talk over me and continue their conversation. I know I must have some type of learning disability. I know I make sense when I write my thoughts on paper. An example, when questions are asked whether it’s a bible study or a self evaluation for job reviews the questions don’t make sense to me, such as “what did you think about when you were in this or that situation” or how did or do you feel about? I draw a blank, it’s like I never experienced anything, but yet I had to, in order to get through life for over 60 years. I read a post by Dawn H. above – how she said her mom never talked to her, she felt rejected. I guess that is the message I must give to people when I don’t talk. I sit like a bump on a log. My daughter has felt this from me, my husband, my son, my siblings. but it’s not that at all. I just don’t know what to say, because I don’t think or comprehend what is going on. I feel like I’m in one of those twilight episodes, trapped in a mind that is looking at the world going by, but can’t get in. Like everyone is in a big glass house, and I am looking at them, but can’t find a way in. My daughter is hurting. She didn’t get the guidance and nurturing that she needed from me. Not because I didn’t want to, but because I didn’t know how, I didn’t see things.So my daughter doesn’t feel like she could ever talk to me, because (mom doesn’t understand). It was like I said, I am here in person, but where my mind is most of the time, I don’t know, it’s blank. I can be looking at a tree or anything and even though I see that it is a tree, I don’t have any thoughts about it. Or shopping for clothes, its a shirt or a skirt, its blue or its black. But there isn’t any excitement – I am just rambling and you probably don’t even get what I am trying to say. I’m a shell, I am empty on the inside, not because I want to be, it’s just the way it has been for me for as long as I can remember. I pretend that I know what people are saying, or I pretend that I had the same experience, just so people don’t think I’m weird. I sit in a group like a ghost, just barely there and this is not done by choice, I try so hard to participate, but my mind is not capable. So everyone thinks I have rejected them, and that is the guilt i have lived with. like I said when I try to explain what I am thinking, no one gets it. the other thing is, i said i don’t comprehend – well I don’t learn from making the same mistakes, because it’s like, i’ve never done this before. Weird, that’s what I am and that’s what people say I am. I know when I am done with this study, even though I have a whole notebook of my thoughts. I will go back and read them and say – did I write that and when. well enough rambling on. thank you for listening.

  70. gdc –
    Sweet sister! I can totally relate to that feeling. I didn’t know what was “wrong” with me for the longest time. I am speaking from personal experience here – but when I recieved help through Christian counseling, and my medical doctor, I discovered it was depression. Some people need a counselor to speak with. This does not take greater value than praying to Jesus – the great Counselor, but it does add perspective.

    My heart literally hurts for you right now. I want for you to feel all the emotions and see all the beauty our Father has blessed us with! It’s so easy to become emotionally detached from this world. I needed to learn the value of “being present,” to experience God’s healing. I still sneak back into that “glass house” from time to time, put my blinders on, and move about with an odd sort of tunnel vision.

    Is seeking counseling something you’ve done? Something you’d consider? I used to let satan tell me that seeking help meant that I was weak, and that I wasn’t relying on God. I take medication for PTSD, and for a long timemI would also let satan tell me that taking medication was a way of showing my distrust in God. In the end, I just continued to suffer and experience condemnation. When God helped me through this, I realized that medications and doctors who help us are all here by God’s design – here to help us! I am not saying you need medication by the way, I am only, strictly speaking of the experiences that lead to my revelations!

    I am praying hard for you gdc. Please remember that you are *not* rambling. You are here, present, sharing in fellowship with your sisters. God brought you here! How beautiful is that? Your self awareness is amazing.

    With real love and hope for you!

    Michelle

    • Thank you for reaching out to me Michelle. I know that I have suffered from depression, but What I don’t get is, how my thought process works. On my first date with my husband he took me to see “Gone with the Wind”, it was playing in a small little theatre. I had never seen it prior to that day. There was an intermission and we walked out into the Lobby. He was asking me all kinds of questions, about what I thought about the characters, and the events that were going on and all I could say was something like it’s a good movie, you see because I didn’t pick up or comprehend what was going on. I honestly think some wires are disconnected in my brain that prevent me from following conversations. That’s what people don’t understand, they just know I’m different and move on. I’m not saying I’ve never had joy in my life. I have. Thank you for praying and for your vote of confidence. I know God brought me to this study, I do have hope. It gives me comfort just knowing that someone actually read this and is praying for me. Thank you again. God Bless You Michelle.

  71. Oh y Goood Lord,
    How wonderful long leave Proverbs 31 am more than delighted i have felt off several times but you guys have put confidence in me through Christ that empowers you with knowlege wisdom to speak to us to reasure us that all is well God is our daddy and if our worldly dads can do search good jobs to us how much more can papa in heaven ???? with his unconditional love he only asks us to have faith in him believe him and all will be well! Proverbs 31 am glad ,excited,connected ,delighted! keep on keeping on!

  72. I think I have felt rejected my whole life. I also feel like I am in a pit that I have no hope of getting out of. I have been here so long and my daughter (15) is in it, too, and there just seems to be no way out. Since her dad left me and her, her older sister, and her younger brother, she and I just cannot seem to move (going on 5 years ago now). She is 15 and has struggled emotionally and behaviorally since age 11. I have seemingly exhausted all resources. I am trying to read, pray, and believe, but I always end up back in the pit if I ever even get close to getting out. I don’t understand. I want to and try to believe God’s love for me and His best for me and my kids, but nothing ever changes. I think it must be my fault and that I have to earn it but that it is too late because I have been too bad, too angry, too afraid, too mean, too……whatever……. I feel too alone and helpless…..I want to have a confident heart. If you saw my Pinterest, you would think I am confident, but it is where I go to escape to fantasy land and how I would like things to be. Will God just leave me here to self-destruct? Feels like it sometimes. Feeling very low today and like hope is itself a fantasy.

    • Praying for you and your children, April. I know it’s not easy, but hang in there and keep trusting that God is with you and He will never leave you or forsake you. Our God is bigger than all of our problems, and even though it seems like there’s no way out and you are all alone, He is with you and loves you deeply!

  73. When I first started this OBS, I thought to myself “This isn’t really going to benefit me. I’m a very confident person! But maybe it can help me to be there for somebody who isn’t.” Two weeks into our study, I discovered that my husband of 8 months, possibly has an addiction to pornography. I was already a bit upset with myself for gaining 40 lbs over the last 3 years, but he didn’t seem bothered by it, so it didn’t necessarily get me down. When I saw the images & videos that he has been downloading, I broke down and cried for hours. He was working nights, so I was home alone. I instantly felt worthless. Ugly. Fat. Unloved. You name it, I felt it. This feeling has been growing & growing ever since. I have been crying off and on, no matter where I am. I have been unable to focus & stay organized at work & home. I’ve been an absolute wreck. I feel like God placed this OBS in my path, right when He knew I would need it.

    • Praying you will find comfort and healing, Laura. May God guide and lead you and your husband through this trial!

    • Jamie-Lee Walker says:

      Hey Laura, isn’t it amazing how God just knew that you needed this at this very moment. He shows us he loves us so much by the way he goes before us. I know how betrayed you feel after discovering your husband’s pornography problem. My husband and I have had to deal with the same problem but rather than me discovering it, he admitted it to me. Have you had a chance to discuss it with him yet?

      I did (and still do) have difficulty with my self image after realising he’d been looking at other women. I compare myself to them, particularly when we’re being intimate & it has been very difficult to work through. The worst thing for me was that I never ever imagined he was the kind of guy to look at other women, I had compete confidence in his love for me & how quickly that all changed – it was such a sinking feeling. He came clean over a year ago now & he says that he is no longer looking at porn ( I believe him because it was a very courageous thing to come out & tell me initially – he knew it was wrong & wanted to change). We are both recovering thanks to God’s wonderful leading & things are certainly getting better. The best advice I can give you is be completely honest with one another & bring the entire problem out in the open & before God; your husband’s addiction, the way it has made you feel, any lack of trust. Ask God for healing in both your hearts…It’s hard to imagine but God will use this to make your marriage stronger. I know it is so painful but God is our healer & if we trust him he takes care of these hurts in our hearts.
      I’m praying for you guys. Xo

  74. The main statement made in this chapter that really resonated with me was where Renee is talking about a fiancé in her past and he breaks up with her. She writes, “I remember wondering what horrible defect I had that made my fiancé decide I wasn’t good enough”.

    In most situations of my life when dealing with people I feel the same way. I wonder what it is I did wrong, what action I did that made that person angry or disgusted with me. I have felt that way when I was a child and I still feel it as an adult. I swear I get a lot of looks at stores and such as though I just asked them the dumbest question in the world. Or I am completely wasting their time and they wish I would just go away. It is hard to continue on day in and day out feeling as though I am nothing. I am already very hard on myself when it comes to my personality, my job, my family, my life and the way it has turned out, so when others give me a hard time in their own way it can really push a person further down.

    My main problem is that when I pray to God I beg Him to please show me or tell me what it is I need to do to change, to make things different, what path do I need to be on? I know that I cannot do it alone and there is nobody in my life who can help. The thing is when I ask Him I don’t seem to ever receive a response. Now maybe that isn’t the case and He really is trying to send me the answers but maybe I am just too wrapped up in my problems to really SEE them. I have asked Him to show me what to do, even if it takes a slap across the face to get it across (not literally of course, but I am sure you know what I mean), and I still don’t feel it or sense it. What is it I am doing wrong? Am I not listening the right way, am I not interpreting things correctly? Have I not opened myself up enough? Any advice on solving this “roadblock” I face would be very helpful. I feel very lost and if I cannot find out what it is I am supposed to do, I am afraid I never will. (Sorry about the negativity; I promise I am working on it).

    • Kim Parris says:

      April,

      Don’t give up! I have felt just like you about myself and the road I am on. Please dive into chap. 6 and just know that GOD wants to be GOD in your life. I keep hearing you say what I need to do…God is the one who molds the clay …the clay does not mold itself. He simply wants you to give your cares to HIM and He will care for you. Matt.6:33 says to “Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you.” please read ch.6 to see what all ‘these things” are. We are not to focus on our problems but on the problem solver. He also tells us to praise Him for HE inhabits our praise! If you want Him in the middle of your business…start praising HIM. When I hear you say “I am hard on myself” I can so relate but the truth is when you are hard on yourself what you are really saying is I am listening to the accuser of my soul instead of to the lover of my soul. Take ch. 12 and let GOD begin to transform your thoughts. April, start throwing the thoughts that steal who you are in Christ in the trash and replace them with God’s thoughts towards you. When Satan comes in like a flood God will raise up a standard against him. That standard is Jesus! Thank you God that when Satan accuses me of not being good enough or a big nothing , Jesus is at your right hand throwing down those accusations and telling Satan he can’t touch me because I am HIS! I am bought with HIS blood! Don’t take your eyes off of JESUS! April, nothing else matters! Seek the GIVER, not the gifts. When you do, everything else will fall into place. Just know that I love you as a sweet sister in Christ and I am praying for your freedom!! In Jesus sweet name, AMEN.

      • Thank you for taking the time to respond to me message, Kim. That was very kind of you.

        I thank you for your words and advice. I feel a bit better after having read them. Now I need to apply them. I will try to stop worrying about everything and everyone and just focus on the Lord. Especially right now.

        Thank you also, and to everyone, for allowing people like myself to “vent” this way and for offering hope, prayer and encouragement. It means a lot.

  75. 1. I don’t have any questions right now – I KNOW it exists! I love these verses from Ephesians, they serve as a great reminder of how to combat Satan.
    2. Knowing I’m a child of God reminds me that nothing on this earth can change that – the world and Satan may try to beat me down but God will always be there to pick me up. I can find strength in Him, especially when I feel like mine is failing.
    3. I do know Satan as a spiritual bully, he is after me a little (or sometimes a lot!) everyday. Digging deeper into the Word with the memory verses and references in the book gives me ammo to fight against the lies the Devil whispers to me. Also, I find Renee’s and other’s stories inspiration to keep fighting the good fight.

  76. CarolAnne says:

    Thanks for that quick bread recipe — it sounds delish! Also thanks for getting me thru chapter 6. For some reason, I just had tears thru the entire chapter. Not sobbing, just “I’ve been there, too”. It is so good to know I am not alone with those “triplets”: fear, doubt and worry! I also believe in spiritual warfare. That Satan will try to lead us away from God. Thanks again for your prayers. xo

  77. Do you recognize Satan as a spiritual bully who wants to intimidate you? How will you take what you are learning through A Confident Heart and prepare yourself when he tries to steal your confidence as a child of God? I do recognize Satan as a spiritual bully who totally wants to intimidate me! He tried to do just that today after I spoke to a group of ladies last night for my first time in a church other than my own church. I was sharing from a mom’s heart going through an unthinkable in my life trying to get through that if we hand that baton off to Jesus we can run the race with perseverance even when the elephant shows up to try to trip us up. I received an email from a lady, critiquing my talk in a not very friendly way and then the very last line was this: It’s with hopes that your future talks will speak to the hearts of people. I have been crying most the afternoon and thinking I never want to share my story again in a public manner. But I know that is exactly what Satan would want especially since I received another message last night telling me she was able to forgive my son now after hearing me talk.

  78. I have noticed that when I am not feeling well or have to have a test done, that I say to myself “I am alone, No one will want to go with me and drive me home” Even when I was married, I would get a pain shot and hurry home(not suppose to be driving) and call back to the ER and tell them I made it. He wouldn’t take me home if he was working or come get me. Said the pain was in my head. This has given me a guilty, worried sense that I don’t even ask people. now that he is remarried He takes her to ER for migraines and sits with her and leaves work to take her home. Talk about a confidence buster. I know it is not all about my ex but it seems like he comes up alot..

  79. Jacqueline S says:

    I am trying this pumpkin bread recipe right now… with white chocolate chips and cranberries! I hope it turns out great!

  80. I am way behind this week due to spiritual warfare of my own. Ha imagine that this week! lol trying to get caught up. Thanks for the encouragement you all provide! I also can’t wait to try out this new bread. It sounds wonderful!

  81. When I have not spent time in the presence of Jesus by reading His word, praying or worshipping Him even just fellowshipping with Him through out the day I have allowed my guard to be down and an easy target for Satan who definitely is a bully. I do feel that I allow myself to get so busy and over commit to things that exhaust me physically, mentally and emotionally that my guard is down and he takes his shots.
    While I am reading this wonderful book I daily pray that anything I commit myself to will bring him glory and honor and if I’ am doing anything for self glorification please alert me and I will stop.
    Thank you for the recipe I can’t wait to try this. God Bless.

  82. deut 31:6,”The lord your God goes with you;he will never leave you nor forsake you” This is my hold on verse! This verse tells me that even when things are going wrong,God is there! He sees,hears,and is compassionate,loving and holding my hand!I never want to let go again!

  83. I am playing catch up — so behind this week due to travels but I’m back! In the moments of rejection knowing and believing in my heart that I am a child of God would reassure me. It would release me from any anxiety about people pleasing bc I would know I am accepted by God and would not need to seek validation from others.

  84. I’ve never really been one to journal or blog, but I am doing my best to take a few quiet moments each week to reflect on what I have read and answer the questions at the end of the chapters. There was a comment made on the Tuesday Twitter post by Nicki and the fact that some of us may have a feeling of ‘loneliness’ through this journey. That would be me!

  85. I’ve known I was struggling with spiritual warfare ever since I was saved this last Palm Sunday. I was struggling even before that when I was praying out earnestly in hopes of God hearing me, I just didn’t know it. So, I just came up with a PLAN to fall back on when under attack and here’s how I’m going to remember what to do: P. A. R. K.

    Pray out loud Jesus’ name
    Ask for protection and truth
    Rebuke satan
    Keep worshipping

    I’m gonna set myself in PARK when I’m spiralling downward. Felt compelled to share 🙂 thank you Proverbs 31 for OBS!

  86. When I first heard the phrase “Spiritual Warfare”, I did not realize it was about Satan, I actually thought it was about all the different religions around the world fighting amongst each other. As I have grown in maturity (unity, reconciliation, healing, and manifestation of Christ), I have come to know the truth ~ that it is Satan trying to confuse me continually.

    In order to protect myself from any further confusion, I went to the Word, and discovered what I needed to do to protect myself. The Holy Spirit directed me to the Breastplate of Righteousness. In Ephesians 6:14 believers are admonished (exhorted) to put on “the breastplate of righteousness,” as protection against satanic attacks. At the time the Bible was written, the breastplate was perhaps the most important piece of armament for a Roman soldier to put on and keep on in battle. It protected his heart area, and other vital organs. It is just as vital today, as it was then! God’s righteousness is the most important righteousness obtainable, when speaking of effective spiritual warfare tactics. My own righteousness (or in other words, my obedience to God’s Word) also plays an important role in maximizing the effectiveness of utilizing my weapons of spiritual warfare.

    So when I sin, it gives Satan the opening he needs to put oppression into my life. When I confess my sins to God, and genuinely say I am sorry, then asking for God’s forgiveness; it immediately breaks the hold oppression Satan has over me (in regards to that particular sin).

    If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. – 1 John 1:8-9

    Therefore, the less we sin…the less we will give Satan the chance to put oppression into our lives.

Trackbacks

  1. […] Monday on the OBS blog, we discussed Satan, the ultimate bully and introduced the concept of spiritual warfare.  On Wednesday, we took a deeper look at #WhoIAm in Christ with the fun, free printables and TOTAL IMAGE mirror makeover! […]

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