A Divine Invitation (and a Twitter Party!)

Hi friends!

It’s Shelly again … or “Big Shelly from Texas” as Melissa introduced me on the video yesterday. Ha ha! Sorry, Melissa. Couldn’t resist. 😉

Speaking of Melissa, I had the honor of spending the week with her, Nicki, and lots of other amazing P31 OBS friends as we gathered for the Real Life Dreams Retreat two weekends ago. I also had a few moments with the author of our current study (and President of Proverbs 31 Ministries), Lysa TerKeurst, at The Best Yes Webcast. Being the self-appointed, over-posting photo journalist that I am (and all my Instagram followers said AMEN), I made sure to get a picture to share. Best Yes Webast - me Nicki Melissa Lysa

(My heart explodes with gratitude for these women!)

Now, I hope you’ve already started digging into Chapters 4-6 for the week. (I know some of you have because of the awesome comments and discussion on the blog yesterday!) But if you haven’t, dig in, girls! You do NOT want to miss this. The words in these chapters have marched right up next to me and parked in my personal space. Anybody know what I mean?

In Chapter 5, we continue reading about the importance of our decisions and those sneaky little obstacles and distractions that keep us from our Best Yes. Stress, busyness, misguided opinions, unrealistic expectations and weariness are just a few of the things that can rob us, limiting our ability and capacity to find wisdom. If we are emotionally, physically and spiritually spent, our life will reflect it.

Lysa talks about how too many activities and commitments can leave us bankrupt and overdrawn. Especially those that have not been specifically assigned to us. And when we feel depleted, empty, with nothing left to give? Our attitude often stinks. Our approach to life in general can be a little less than lovely (ahem).

As one of my Pastors says, “I am a terrible version of myself apart from Jesus.” Terrible.

Our Best Yes always makes room for time with God. No appointment can replace an appointment with the King. No time spent adds value to our lives like time spent with Jesus. We gain wisdom here. Our souls find rest here. Our hearts are renewed here. We are made whole here.

This week, we meet a woman in 2 Samuel. We do not know her name. We do not know her position. We do not know if she is wealthy. We do not know who her family is. We do not know her education. (I’m guessing none of that stuff really mattered). What we ARE told is that she is a wise woman.

“A wise woman called from the city, ‘Listen! Listen!'” 2 Samuel 20:16a (NIV)

BestYes_VerseWeek2 This woman goes against the social norms of her time and steps out armed with wise words and a plan. I can imagine she — like each of us — had her hands full with duties and responsibilities, but she was drawing from a deep reservoir of wisdom. Wisdom that saved her city.

Her approach to Joab created a divine opportunity. Her courageous choice to say yes to this God-appointed assignment rescues her people from disaster. I have a strong suspicion that maybe,  just maybe, this wise woman had spent some time with the King of Kings and when she sensed His divine invitation to act, she did not hesitate.

We, too, can learn to say yes to those God assignments placed in our path. Not every assignment is ours, but some come bearing our name. We can learn to recognize those assignments and “sense God’s invitation” in the middle of our crazy lives if our heart is surrendered and our soul rests in communion with our Savior.

We, too, can walk as wise women. We, too, can learn to say no to the wrong things and run without hesitation toward the best things. We can and, in fact, we must.

Let’s Chat:

We don’t have to say yes to every opportunity to serve that is placed before us. In Chapter 5, Lysa talks about learning to “sense God’s invitation” for specific assignments He has chosen just for us. This helps us to live our Best Yes. Have you ever sensed God’s invitation to say yes to an assignment? Maybe you’re sensing His invitation now. Share your story in the comment section -or- share your favorite quote or scripture from Chapter 5.


Tonight is our Twitter party! The tweeting starts at 8 p.m. ET! Make sure you follow @P31OBS and use the hashtag #TheBestYes in every post.


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  1. A person Im estranged from wants to go to my daughters confirmation this week.I said no to her as have chosen to forgive this person but also dont want to be in their presence again.Today U received an sms with the request and chose to say yes..as long as they respect my space and stay away from me..This is my Best Yes..which these few chapters have really blessed me…Today I definitely sensed Gods invitation to start slowly and say this yes

    • Sheila Watson says:

      Great! You just let Jesus shine through you. This person can see WHO is in you.

    • Jeanine, That took courage. It also is true forgiveness. You are taking a risk by inviting them but setting clear boundaries. I hope that everyone can enjoy the confirmation and can appreciate your brave “yes.”

  2. Victoria Kay says:

    “The word of God addresses my approach. The ways of God addresses my attitude. Now the wonder of God provides my assurance.” This has to be one of my favorite quotes so far in Chapter 5.

  3. It is not wrong to use wisdom, knowledge and an understanding of your resource capacity to assess your decisions. This is my favorite quote from chapter 5 because I realize that I don’t use these tools to assess as often as I should and even when I do the wanting to say yes for the wrong reasons instead of saying no based on a wise evaluation. The steps in these chapters this weeks are gems.

    • They are indeed gems and solid starting points for sound decisions that will stay good over the course of time. These points are our rock in discerning what truly good decisions are!

  4. God often invites me to encourage. He will prompt me to grab that moms basket and return it to the grocery store so she can get her kids in the car, or stop at the church and leave a note for the staff member who’s car is still there after 5. Sometimes I am so busy I will ignore these promptings, trying to get to my next task on time. Sometimes I listen and turn the car around. When u do obey the prompts, I am blessed. The receiver is blessed. And I get to take part in his work for me on earth! That’s my best yes!

  5. This is my assignment. I believe it is through this assignment God is challenging to be more active and be more present. He is calling me to grow closer to him, grow stronger in him…yes, from there I will find more. For now this is my assignment with smaller, daily ones too.

    Two quotes are really resonating with me from Chapter 5 this morning–
    “Whatever attitude I bring into a situation will be multiplied. God’s way is love and my way must be love.” As I make choices, I will consider what this choice would cost me in my attitude.
    “The Word God will help me find my approach. The ways of God will shape my attitude. It is in the wonder of God I will find assurance”…because God is the master provider, not me.

    I am so grateful this morning for this group, a dear friend whom is sharing this journey with me, and for this opportunity to learn, to grow, and to experience all that is here and awaiting us in Him.

  6. Sheila Watson says:

    Great blog! Love you Shelly!
    Recently, my biggest God invitation was to step out of my box. Out of that weak minded, comfort zone. You know the one? I’ve always been the one to feel guilty or bad if I took off work to do something for me. So, I went to the OBS Retreat. What a blessing! Immediately following, I had to flight to Texas to be with my son. I decided I HAD to trust God that my job would be there when I returned. Other people take off for less reasons than a medical emergency and have a job when they return. I am learning to TRUST and OBEY. And stop allowing myself to live in fear.

    • So proud of you, Sheila!! And love you too! It was great to see you at the retreat! Saying a prayer for you and your son right now!

    • Sheila, I love that you said that…..Trust and Obey….anyone remember that hymn?? We trust Him with our Eternity, but not with our Today….We call up a friend and say, “what do you think about this?”, but won’t stop to Pray (AND LISTEN) about it. This Bible Study is SUCH A BLESSING!

  7. Wow…UH-MAZING once again Shelley!
    For me, I often miss out on those little nudges on my <3 for areas that God is truly calling me for. This is due to it not being a "BIG, life changing" thing. Sometimes, more so than not, I think, what impact will this have if it's not going to "change" anything for the good. Make sense?
    But then I'm reminded of a great message Nicki gave at the Real Life Dreams Women's Retreat…."what's my next step?"
    I pray so often for God to humble my <3. He reminds me that no matter how BIG or small the act, if He's calling me for it, then it will make an impact.

  8. I really liked the little rubric that Lysa used when beginning to make her decision…the effects Physically, Financially, Spiritually, and Emotionally of saying yes (or no). After reading that this morning I decided to apply it to a decision I’ve been kind of struggling with for quite a while and it was nearly a no-brainer. I tend to overthink and/or try to justify things sometimes – especially when I know the decision is not going to be an easy one to implement. Thanks for helping simplify making some of these decisions and for the Biblical guidance!

    • I LOVED the 4 areas Lysa pointed out that we need to assess before giving a “yes” decision as well! I often find that I’m lacking most in the EMOTIONAL department when I’m thinking of saying “yes” to something I really would rather say “no” to, but am slammed with thoughts about what the other person will think of me and my decision, what they will say about me to others, and as Lysa gets into later, if I am acting in LOVE by saying “no.” Her illustration of saying “no” to the young girl wanting to live with her b/c she couldn’t handle it emotionally really confirmed many decisions my husband and I have been making with family over the past year with our new baby. We got WORN OUT (esp. me as a new mom) with family wanting to constantly visit…we finally had to start saying “NO!” and set up boundaries…people got MAD and HURT and UPSET which I didn’t handle well…but I’m hoping as time goes on I will become more okay with my “no’s” and this book is already helping! Glory to God!

      • When my daughter gave birth to my first grandchild what a blessing that was. And I thought it would be fine if I did what my mother did and just drop in on them. Well my daughter doesn’t seem to have a problem with setting boundaries with loved ones like me, and the first time I called to say I was in town and would love to stop by and visit, her reply was, “it wasn’t a good time.” I was dumbfounded! I would never, never have tried that with my mom. But my daughter respected their schedule and their time and she needed me to do the same I guess. So because she expected me to respect her wishes I starting doing just that. I was so hurt on that first negative response from her, but I tried to hide it and adjust my attitude for the love of my daughter and her husband. We never spoke about it, but I will always remember. I will remember how brave and strong my daughter is and how she trusted my love for her to understand where she was coming from.

  9. Cant wait to start ,still waiting on my book to get here it was to be here on the 27 th hope it not lost.Just praying to know the will of God for my life ,i know there are many things that God has open up for me to do just asking Him for wisdom and all i need to carry it out with His help!

  10. Irene O'Leary says:

    “Am I saying no to this because I’m being selfish? Or am I saying no to this because… I know this wouldn’t be healthy for us right now?…. My attitude of love must trump my activity every time.” This last week my husband got a not so nice first impression of a Jesus girl friend of mine. Chapter 5 put in words what was missing… attitude of love. We’ve all heard that we need to act like Jesus more than just on Sunday. My friend was sorry, but the first impression, well, time will tell what damage that caused. I pray we all can reflect Jesus well today!

  11. Amy W from MI says:

    When I step out and do what God asks of me,I am always amazed at how much easier it was than what I thought.

    Recently, God is asking me to work on the relationship with my step mom. This is difficult because of all the drama she causes. When I took the time to call and apologize for my part in the drama, her response was full of gratitude and hope.

    God”s way is always right. We just have to be brave and do it.

  12. Gena C (P31 OBS volunteer) says:

    I was struggling to make a decisions and really need clarity from God for it. The night before I had to give my answer I was driving to women’s small group from church – listening to my favorite worship CD and just had this sense of peace and clarity -I knew the answer was yes and I was to continue my roll. I am so thankful that I did!

  13. Great advice in this quote from chapter 5:
    Whenever there is a conflict between what we feel we’re expected to do and what we feel we should do, it’s time to step back from the decision. And seek clarity from the only source free of the entanglements of misguided opinions and unrealistic expectations. God.

  14. Hi Shelly, I’m joining from the UK whenever the timings fit with my schedule. The biggest revelation for me is that by jumping in to say yes/provide (even if it leaves me and my family depleted) I am preventing others from trusting God for their provision. I always felt bad if I said no (to anything- how crazy is that!) but so often I then did these assignments with a begrudging heart. I now know that not all assignments are my assignments! Truly liberating!

  15. I love the idea of asking whether a decision fits into my life emotionally, spiritually, financially, and physically. I feel like I often make quick decisions without completing a full analysis. This technique will allow me to feel more secure in situations where the answer is a ‘no.’ I have started to implement this into my life and I am beginning to see results.

  16. When I truly take time to commune with God, everything seems to fall into place. On days when I don’t take the time to listen and pray, things not as smooth. This bible study is reinforcing these observations.

  17. It’s funny…I’ve spent many years saying no to things I wanted to do, so I could be a good caregiver to my mom and aunt. But since their passing in 2013, I seem to be saying yes more. Each thing feels important to me, which is why I choose to say yes, but at the same time they probably could be an answer to dealing with my grief. To prevent me from isolation, I am choosing to do an extra church activity. For a change, I’m not feeling overwhelmed by my yes and not feeling like I’m missing out with no.

  18. Shelly you are a ROCKSTAR!!! Thank you for the awesome words of insight this morning!

    I LOVE “Whatever attitude we bring into a situation will be multiplied” from this chapter and have said it several times over the past few weeks! We have used the four areas of fit to make a few decisions recently. I am changed afternoon jobs and had pre-decided that I was going to have a week between leaving one/starting another and just work my morning job this week. Already running low and headed to bankrupt in 2 of the 4 areas and I had pre-decided that rest was a fit financially, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. I ALMOST found the word YES coming out of my mouth on Friday when I was was asked if I could start on Monday. Thankful I had pre-decided that 10/6 was my start date and NOT 9/29 ~ it was my Best Yes which didn’t make me a bad person but it made me a confident person to say NO! Have I mentioned that I LOVE this book!!! It has become my language and I now hear my husband speaking the same language ~ I must talk a lot!!! 😉

  19. I sense going wanting us to go back to our old church but my husband is not ready. Please pray for him.

  20. Angela Barnes says:

    I made a small best yes decision last Sunday. I visited my friend’s church and I heard a sermon that reached deep into my almost bankrupt heart. I then added a small no to not look back on the reasons I am where I am right now. Just a small step but moving nevertheless.

    Loving this bible study with real life comparisons included. 🙂

    • What a profound statement that touched me. “Just a small step but moving nevertheless.” Sometimes I feel like I have to see a mountain moved but small steps are part of it too. Thanks for the reminder. ☺️

  21. There are several things in this chapter that spoke to me. This season of my life is terribly overcommitted, by my own accord. There are times that my attitude shows that. “Whatever attitude we bring will be multiplied.” Many times I come home and am stressed and will bring that home to my family. It’s not their fault that I have over committed. So that is something I am really going to be working on.
    “Gods wonder takes a no and turns it into a know” really stuck out to me. Even though I am strung thin, what can I learn from this? I have used my business as an excuse and not been consistent with my quiet time. What can I “know” that he is trying to show me? What future commitments do I need to pray about, and actively seek his knowledge before giving my best yes? I pray that he opens my eyes and takes away the selfish “I’m to busy haze” so that I may see opportunities that surround me.
    He has revealed that even though I have a lot of things on my plate, if my attitude is in check, I may be able to make a positive difference in someone else’s day/life. What “know” is he wanting to reveal to me?

  22. I love this book which confirms in my spirit what God laid upon my heart to begin doing earlier this year. He really placed in my spirit to seek Him before giving answers to assignments or tasks asked of me by others. I struggled by saying yes and getting overloaded with tasks. Now He leads me where I can be used and I know that He is involved which always turns out for the better.

  23. Felicia Walker says:

    Today’s email was a #BestYes! Thank you Shelly for letting God use you to bless us with these powerful words and fill us with His spirit. It spoke directly to my heart and my situation. God bless you!

  24. THE BEST YES…….. Is awesome. I needed this and it came at the right time in my life.”Attitude of Love” My ex walked to another woman when I went into rehab. 3 and half years ago. He is sitting in a place he is not happy. I’m still totally in love with him and he knows it. With God’s help I’ve done a lot in the right direction in my life. Have my own place and just the other day as I read chapter 5 my ex asked about moving in until he could find his own place. The Best Yes help me with my answer which was “NO”. Told him I love him dearly and I would help him settle in and maybe things could change for us but this time it will be Gods way and at God’s timing. Believe it or not he is still a friend and said he understood since things in my life has totally change for the good. Thank-you Lysa and everyone else for this study.

  25. Trisha Kemp says:

    My spirit disappears as my soul slips into a place of darkness…..what do I do when my past creeps it’s way back in my life through the sin and dysfunction of a family who tries to pull me into a place where I’m no good to myself or anyone else. I confuse my best yes with the pressure of obligation and responsibility to people who choose unwisely and poor out words that send me to a place I spent year overcoming by giving all of me too Jesus and keeping “them” at a distance. Now they are back, and I’m disappearing. Strong in my commitment to the Lord, I find myself wondering why am I not stronger. I know who I am in Christ……the sin, drama, and complete dysfunction of their choices are dumped on me like a heavy rock and I feel like I cannot breath. I read today’s email and sensed the excitement and happiness of everyone committing to their best yet and eager to learn what opportunity God will give them next and my heart melts as I feel the heaviness and dread of what has been placed before me. I plead with Jesus to give me clear insite and help me give my best for Him…..may I ask for your prayers? Prayers of very wise women. Please forgive me…..I’m usually a much more upbeat and positive person. This morning, I’m just empty and broken, and seeking Him with a heart that desires nothing more than to be obedient.

    • Praying hard for you Trisha as you make your way through this difficult time. Remember you are not defined by your past or the dysfunction of family members but through Jesus, which it sounds like you are doing a good job of holding on to. He WILL come through for you!

    • Trisha – praying for you in this difficult season. Thank you for being open and honest and asking for prayer – we all know the power of prayer. Praise God He is giving you strength to cling to His truth as you navigate the stormy waters.

      • Bless your precious heart Trisha God sees you and will care for you. I come from a past of darkness that threatens to suck me back into it using people in my past life or my life now. Practice standing with God standing with Jesus, picture Him there standing next to you and use HIs strength to resit what you need to resist. I can relate to what you said about sensing the excitement at waiting for God’s opportunity of their Best Yes but you are working on your Best Yes too, saying Yes to your continued recovery of your past. We can’t do it ourselves but thank God we don’t have too! Prayers, love and hugs coming your way. <3

    • Praying for you Trisha. My marriage to a very mentally unstable alcoholic con man is on the road to divorce but every time I think things are going okay he’ll do something else to pull me down again. I have found that my best yes at times is to delay making any big decisions and rest in the arms of Jesus–to just let Him surround me with His love and hide my face in His embrace. Many times I have been emotionally, spiritually and physically bankrupt but each day of doing my devotions, reading the Word and praying (even if it’s just repeating Jesus, Jesus, Jesus…) makes me stronger. I would say that committing to this online Bible study is a best yes for both of us!

  26. I feel like just saying yes to committing to this study was God’s specific assignment for me right now. There are so many decisions and commitments that I am struggling with right now and I am the type of girl that Lysa describes and I absolutely tend to over think, which leads to a fear of making the wrong decision, which leads generally to me making no decision. I have not read though chapter 5 yet but I have already gained so much insight just from what I have read and I feel like this is exactly where I need to be!

  27. I so needed this today! I definitely have a hard time picking the Best Yes decision sometimes because sometimes I feel like I have to do everything. I feel like unless I accomplish a gazillion things in one day, I will not be worthy of His calling. But this makes me understand that God really wants Quality over Quantity and that’s most important. He wants me to do my best in this one (no matter how small) assignment than just scratch the surface in everything. I love my God and want to serve Him but sometimes I get caught up in the business and the nonsense of life. God is good and merciful, and I’m so thankful for His lessons.

  28. I have two. 1. Whatever attitude we bring to a situation multiplies. 2. God is My MASTER provider. He PROVIDES Love, Resources, salvation, peace comfort, joy, time, gifts and talents, wisdom and eternal riches and His amazing Grace. What a MASTER WE lovingly serve.

  29. I love the tools that Lysa has given to determine whether I have the resources for the decision that I’m facing – physically, financially, spiritually, and emotionally. When I can make decisions with these questions in the back of my mind, I can evaluate my answers more clearly and really see why I can/can’t commit to whatever I’m facing.

    Also, understanding that every assignment is not my assignment. When confronted with any issue, whether it be my own or someone else’s, my first inclination is to come up with a solution to fix it or suggest a fix. Or I get frustrated because I can’t fix it. And think I’m a failure because I didn’t fix it. But sometimes God, our “Master Provider,” may not need me for this particular thing because He’s got it.

    This book is truly opening my eyes to making better Best Yes decisions…

    • I totally agree with your post – esp paragraph 2. I want to FIX everything – and this study is helping me step back and led God lead.

  30. Wow…what a GREAT chapter! The biggest thing I took away was the four categories used to make decision…looking at your physical, financial, spiritual and emotional resources. Making sure I have room for all of those to make a YES decision. My favorite quote would be “When we slip at living out the Word of God, we slip at living in the will of God.” My goal is to be living in His will daily…to do the things He wants me to do, not what I want to do. So, we need to be living out the Word of God and have that attitude of love like Lysa talks about, but not bankrupt love!

  31. Jammie Tompkins says:

    I am blessed and honored to be saying “YES” to an upcoming mission trip to India. I am blessed that God is redifinig my path as I continue to say YES to full time missions abroad (IN Africa in 2016).

  32. I recently said yes to being a part time volunteer at my church to stand beside our pastor and his wife as they establish and build the community of our church. I am also on the leadership team. I am enjoying this book. Need to catch up on a chapter, but close. Thank you for this study!

  33. Lauren Kropf says:

    Saying yes to running a half marathon for St Jude. Honoring a 6 year old in our town who is dieing. Fundraisers and planning for those who can not.

  34. I have not read Chapter 5 yet. But, God has placed on my heart writing about or finding a way to share about one of my struggles that I have gone through. I am divorced. I have since, remarried and moved forward with my life – God has used that divorce to change me and to counsel other women who struggling with that same issue. But, that process was awful and He is putting it on my heart to share those emotions and that situation with others. The thought of writing it and sharing that pain, the loss of friendship, and the hardship it put on my children, is overwhelming. As I was sitting in the carline, picking up the neighborhood Middle School kids, I was praying and asking God – “Is this really something you want from me?” My eyes were closed and I was deep in prayer…. I opened my eyes to see a van passing with the license plate B Leve (Believe) – well sometimes – God has to knock me over the head with an answer. I felt like He did that day! I am scared, excited and overwhelmed about this process. I know that God wants me to do this. I don’t even know how to start, but I know He truly wants me to share how God uses something awful and turns it into something good! That is exactly what He did! I’m off to read Chapter 5!

    • Dawn what powerful words and I know God has a GREAT plan to use you. There are so many hurting women we run across every day going through this that have lost hope. Right now my niece’s husband walked out on her and I hear it all the time at church, at work, with my friends. It’s through these valleys we grow, and it’s through the valleys we can write to help others walk through those same times. I loved your story of the license plate – a confirmation from the Lord.

  35. Is there a video each week for the Bible Study?

  36. My favorite verse, always, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” Matt 11:28. I have been trying to make an employment decision and after starting this Bible study, I know I need to talk to God more about it. I love the categories and the reminder that spending resources we don’t have will bankrupt ourselves.

  37. God morning, the Lord is good. For by His divine Power has given to us all things that pertains to life and godliness through the knowledge of Him who called us by glory and virtue 2 Peter 1:3. This is the scripture that came to mind as i was reading in chapter 5, while assessing her decision to offer a space in her home for a young lady. the decision to do or not to do, to go or not to go, to be or not to be (couldn’t resist that one); what others are asking of me or needing from me. Asking myself and inquiring of the Lord, do i have what i need financially, spiritually, physically and emotionally to meet this request, to do it unto the Lord wholeheartedly and most importantly will my decision honor God? “God’s word addresses my approach…. IF the activity i am considering is in line with God’s Word but my approach to that activity isn’t I will overdraw myself and bankrupt this part of my life. A good approach to something requires enough resources to handle the demands of that activity.” Counting up the cost financially, spiritually, physically and emotionally will help me to give my “Best Yes.” I love God, love His word, love Jesus who is the Word and the Holy Spirit of God that leads me into all truths. Have a blessed hallelujah day sisters.

  38. Trisha, I am praying for you today.

  39. “Whatever attitude we bring to a situation will be multiplied”. This is definitely going on a notecard and posted to my refrigerator today! I often complain about my children’s attitude but justify my own with ” I’m tired or I’m hungry or etc. etc. etc. fill in the blank however. Bottom line is I am guilty of the grumpy attitude as often as my children and probably the cause of theirs most days. This Momma needs a mirror most days….

  40. My favorite part or quote from Chapter 5 was when Lysa referenced 1 Corinthians 13 “The Way Of Love”, and her quote “While a God-honoring approach requires the proper resources, a God-honoring attitude requires me to reflect God’s love.”

    Love is the center of everything!
    I learned from reading this chapter that when making a decision it is loving to say no sometimes.

  41. Philippians 1:9-10 has spoken to me. My husband of 31 years passed away Saturday. My walk with the Lord is sustaining me and giving me His peace. Never fail to trust in Him. He cannot fail you. Love to all! Ann Davis

    • Ann, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I pray that in the coming days ahead that you continue to draw your strength from the Lord and experience the peace that He can only give you. Will keep you and your family in my prayers. (“Ann) can do all things through Christ who strengthens her”) Philippians 4: 13

  42. I’m loving this study. The chapters are getting better and better. There was 2 statements in chapter 5 that blew me away.

    1. When we slip at living OUT THE WORD OF GOD, we slip at living IN THE WILL OF GOD. This is so true. I find that when I’m not in the Word every day, I will make decisions that are not my Best Yes. I feel if I stay in His Word daily, my words and deeds express JESUS more.

    2. The Word of God addresses my APPROACH. Thr ways of God address my ATTITUDE. The wonder of God provides my ASSURANCE. Approach, attitude and assurance are three great things to keep in mind when making decisions.

    I pray I can remember all this when I have things asked of me so I choose my Best Yes or my confident No.

  43. Just wanted Trisha Kemp to know that her comment touched my soul, and that I just prayed for peace, comfort and for God to send someone to you today to be an encouragement. Hope we can all be there for one another during tough times-

  44. Rachel Ramey says:

    I attended the Women of Faith conference in Indianapolis this past weekend and got to hear Lysa speak. It was a great overview and supplement to this study. There is so much that I am taking away from Chapter 5…
    1.I loved how she broke down her decision making by considering the physical, financial, spiritual, and emotional resources needed. I often forget about my emotional needs.
    2.I also loved the reassurance that saying no “doesn’t make me a bad person. It makes me the wrong person for that assignment.” I often feel guilty when I say no, but I need to remember the next point I loved…
    3.Every assignment is not my assignment.
    3.And lastly, I need to remember to assess how I can love another person without bankrupting my family or myself.
    Thanks again for this study!

  45. I haven’t finished chapter 4 yet, but working through it slowly. I have found though a stronger need to tell my story to others – I always knew that I wanted to work in ministry, and I have for several years as a music minister, but this past summer I felt led to leave that position, but have felt an intense need to reach out to others in my position – I’m a single mom of a special little boy with autism, I had left a controlling marriage before he was born, but am still trying to get all of that resolved legally and within myself. I have picked myself up from basically nothing, finished my music and education degrees and now teach preschool and music from my home. I’m still trying to understand what He wants me to do with all of this, but I know that this is my next ministry path.

  46. The four areas that Lysa pinpointed for focus hit me hard. I find myself using that same process often, but I keep being stuck on the emotional fit. Others, and myself included, have made me feel like there is something wrong with me when i feel that emotionally the decision to say yes is not a good one. I agree that when I feel emotionally depleted, it affects my relationships with those around me…my students, my friends, my family, and in my faith. Getting out of the commitment after the fact is much more traumatic than saying no initially. This is something I learned the hard way. Now I am more cautious in my decision making process.

  47. One Yes that I feel God is calling me to is my photography….sometime back I thought that this meant starting my own business on the side….as soon as I did this, I lost the joy of it. So… I dissolved the very short lived business and have returned to using my photography to bless those I love and see where that leads me. This was definitely my best yes for this season. Now, I am working on evaluating each request and only doing what is my best yes…not feeling obligated to take everyone’s photo who asks. I have such a sense of peace, whereas before I felt uneasy and stressed. Like Sarah Travis said above, I am trying to weave these best yes principles into all of my decision making. Thanks so much Lysa for this book!

  48. This chapter is the core of what I’m struggling with. I’m in a ministry position with a lot of demands and requests from all kinds of people and none are necessarily bad
    It’s just trying to sort out the best moment by moment in my day. Part of my job is also working to help refugees and the list of needs and obstacles and struggles is endless. I know the best help I can give them is teaching them how to help themselves, but it is draining in every aspect. I am convicted by the challenge of doing everything in love. I have a lot to pray about because my ministry has looked a lot more like obligation lately. Thank you for this chapter and challenge!

  49. “Whatever attitude we bring into a situation will be multiplied.” From ch. 5. If we say yes to something to please someone else, we most likely will have a bad attitude about it. And that will be reflected in the situation and not reflect the love of Jesus. However, if we say yes because we know it is what God is asking of us and He has given us everything we need to do the job, we will have a cheerful attitude, and those involved will see the love of Jesus.

  50. Joan DeKoekkoek says:

    I am a liason for my church for the annual LifeChain this Sunday. God always works out the details so that I am able to do this.
    There were too many great things in chapter 5 to name just one. So many things applied to my life right now.

  51. Nancy Silvers says:

    I feel a sense of God’s urgency for an assignment but I have been hesitant to step forward. The old tapes of there is someone better for the task, not good enough for the assignment and just plain fear of not knowing the right words to say are keeping me in a holding pattern. I could really use some prayers so I could move forward towards my next Best Yes assignment! Thank you!!

  52. This book has been such a blessing to me so far and has spoken to me on many levels. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor and for awhile now I have felt a leading to open a private practice. It is a bit of a scary venture for me but since starting this book and spending time in serious prayer I have had the courage to take the first steps- some steps that have been awkward. Saying Yes to a God assignment is not easy or comfortable at times. I know that starting this venture will mean having to say “no” to other things but for a greater good.

  53. My favorite part of chapter six is the idea that sometimes God is leading us to say no to an assignment because He has a much better way of providing for that need. He is the Great Provider – I am not! My way of doing that particular assignment would make a mess of things – His way makes it perfect. Praise God!

  54. I so wish I had this information a few months back. We opened our home to a young woman in need of a place to stay. She used our room for a resting place and as I watched her make unwise decisions it began to affect me emotionally. I was feeling responsible for the mistakes she was making. It didn’t take long for her to make the choice to go back home and I was relieved at this decision. I was not ready emotionally to deal with some of the issues that arose. I still feel guilty that I let her leave and go back to an unstable situation but I also know now that it wasn’t my “Best Yes.” I found her a church home and got her involved in a small group. I pray that she can be a positive influence to her family as she begins to let God control her choices.

  55. I am overwhelmed with the many hats I am wearing right now. One of my hats is a full time graduate student. I will be finished in August 2015 and have been “worried” about my next step. This study is putting it in perspective for me. I would not be able to answer Lysa’s 3 questions from chapter 4 with all “yeses” if she were to walk in the door right now. I need to heed this opportunity of time to gain God’s wisdom and insight so that I may discern what God’s next Best Yes assignment is for me.

  56. Whatever attitude you bring will be multiplied. So powerful! I feel like I am not present in so many aspects of my life because I am spread thin and then I get angry about it and take it out on my family. The negativity seeps into everything that we do. No matter what the situation….whether I want to be there or not….I need to remember the attitude I bring will be multiplied.

  57. I’m actually commenting not because I have anything to add here, but because I feel like a major failure and didn’t know where else to go but here for some encouragement to pick myself up and keep going. I joined this Bible Study, but didn’t have the book and wasn’t able to keep up (honestly, even if I had the book it wouldn’t have happened last week), so now I haven’t even started the book and the study is on Chapters 4-6. I feel like I should just jump off the train and read through the book on my own. I don’t have the study guide, but maybe I should order it so I can get somewhere with a study. It’s been a LONG time since I’ve done a book or Bible study and feel like I’ve dropped the ball on the most important thing. Ugh, I’m sorry for the pity party. I just feel so down about yet another failed attempt at prioritizing.

    • Heather please don’t be discouraged. I’m so glad that you have joined us. You have already made a BEST YES by being here. Even though you don’t have the book at this time, there is so much shared wisdom here from our OBS leaders as well as all of our OBS sisters in Christ. Don’t be overwhelmed and continue to take a small step each day. Looking forward to hearing about the Best Yes’s that are still to come. Will keep you uplifted in prayer my dear friend. Blessing’s and Hug’s, Jean

    • Heather, Even if you can’t find the time right now to read the book and that part comes later, you should join us as often as you can. Don’t worry about the answers for each chapter just glean on what’s being said and enjoy the fellowship. You can always go back through the postings and watch the webcasts on your own time. In the meantime, Know that prayers were spoken for you today!

    • Heather, I was just randomly scrolling down through the comments and I just stopped on yours. I don’t know why, because I was heading to the bottom, but God must have stopped me to give you some encouragement. I’m there with you girl. I don’t have the book. Today, I started cleaning my living room and I had such a BAD attitude about it that God stopped me and told me to do this study. I signed up for it last week and completely ignored it. So today, I am being obedient and playing catch up. I still haven’t read any of the book, but just going through the blog posts and watching the videos, I have already gained so much from it! I am saying a prayer for you right now that you will be encouraged and know that you aren’t alone!! You are loved and chosen by God <3

    • Hey Heather, try not to beat yourself up. I missed the last one. Signed up, got the book, & still missed it!!! Didn’t even read the book. Missing a study doesn’t define you as a failure. You are interested, keep following the path & when the time is right it will work out. At the least, you can talk with us on here and that can be inspiring; it is for me. Take care!

    • Thank you all SO much. I do have the book now, but couldn’t find time this morning before the kids were clammoring for my attention to sit and start it. It’s almost nap time and they are calling me now for more lunch, so I’ll get them settled and dig in. 🙂 I needed all of your words today as I learn my Best Yes. And right now that’s making a second sandwich for my girls before they apparently starve. 😉

  58. Chapter 5 hit me very hard.
    I have out of town guests coming, to visit their Aunt. Each of the questions – Physically, Financially, Spiritually, Emotionally really spoke to me.

    Physically – Yes I have an extra bedroom,
    Financially – It will be an expensive time for me, with meals both in house and in a restaurant. (They could offer to pay at some time – however, the last time they were here, which was a year ago and were here for a week, they didn’t offer once) Financially, I felt drained.
    Spiritually – I know it is in God’s timing that they need to come, both to see their Aunt (my step-mother), and to pick up some of the items from her home that would be family items for them to have.
    Emotionally – This is where I will have a real problem. If they stay an entire week, I will be emotionally drained.

    I must remember that “My Approach MUST Honor Jesus” and My Approach while they are here must be done with love.

  59. Ann Milovich says:

    I did not completed chapter 5 today. God let me to Matthew 11:28-30 which led me to research biblical times which led me to scripture verses with the word yoke. It is good to feed yourself God’s Word. Thankful for this study drawing me back into Study

  60. Trisha, You hang there God will give you the right answers with the past. I will pray for you. We need to leave the past and look forward. And God will be there all the way to help.

  61. I love Lysa’s expression is the best yes good for me finacially, spiritually and emotionally…such good wisdom in decision making. This Thursday we begin hosting a high school life group in our home..We’ve lead groups before but I realized with the demands on my life right now that wasn’t the best yes but hosting still allows are home to be used to bring glory to God but doesnt tax the last bit of energy out of me..which then would make for a not so nice wifey and mama

  62. Our yes isn’t always Gods yes for us. I have many times chosen to say yes before I seek Gods will in the moment. Let me tell you, that’s not the way to do things. When I say yes before seeking God, things don’t turn out right. Usually everything goes wrong and I am left looking the fool. And what a fool I am for not stopping and taking the time to communicate with the Father before I leap into action. I then have taken someone else’s opportunity to serve and turned it into my own. Shame on me- Stop, pray, then proceed when you have an answer from God. Sometimes it’s no, sometimes yes and the hardest answer of all time is sometimes wait….

  63. Heather im praying for you right now..sometimes the best yes is just soaking in his word and following along in the study..ill pray for you to feel comorted reassured and to know its going to be okay

  64. Hey Heather, I read your post and just feel like sending you a virtual hug;) and telling you that you CAN do it!! Start slow, there is always time to catch up. I do not have the study guide and bought the best yes at half off at Barnes and Noble! I will say a prayer for you today.

  65. Missy Davis says:

    Breaking down a decision into the physical, financial, spiritual, and emotional resources needed is the most common-sense and practical thing I have read in quite a while! Definitely a “duh, why haven’t I thought of that?” moment!

    Also-while I have been reading, God brought back to my mind a set of questions from another of Lysa’s books that I feel go hand in hand with seeking God’s direction for our best “yes”-from “What Happens When Women Say ‘Yes’ to God”:
    -does what I’m hearing line up with Scripture
    -is it consistent with God’s character
    -is it being confirmed through messages I’m hearing at church or studying in my quiet time?
    -is it beyond me?
    -would it please God?

  66. Good Morning Everyone,
    So I just finished chapter 5, (Wow!) and I have a question.
    What if you have something you do, that you know is not your ‘best yes’, however…you do it for your spouse. You do it with them because you want to grow together. It might be their ‘best yes’ and not yours…but you feel that your ‘best yes’ is to be their helper. I don’t know…I’m not sure I even understand my own question.

    Maybe what I should ask is, What does God’s invitation feel like?

    There are several things that I have started to say yes to, and then have had to go back to that person and say, “I’m sorry no I can’t because…” of whatever the reason.

    The only time I can think of that I really have felt God’s invitation, was when I thought about doing this Bible study. I felt like God was saying, “come get to know Me better.”

    God Bless,

    • Hi Merideth,
      We should serve our spouses…and sometimes what’s best for our relationship is something we don’t “want” to do but it will strengthen our marriage so we do it for them. The only time I would say that doesn’t apply would be if the spouse is asking you to do something opposed to Scripture, or that is hurtful to you. He should be loving you as Christ loves the church, so if it falls within that, serve Him.

      • What if it is ilke a TV show you used to enjoy and you wonder if it is god’s will that you really watch it because well, you know how TV can be. If you don’t think it will hurt or influence you that much, and it is something that can make him happy, do you do it anyway? I always struggle, and I know this is a totally different issue, with, do I just do everything that is godly, never watch TV shows unless they are like totally pure, Christian, Disney something like that (though even some of that might be questionable) do I spend all my time in god’s stuff or how much time do I give to other things that are entertaining, that I might enjoy with my spouse but they could be iffy. I don’t even know if I am making any sense at all here.

  67. I wanted to leave a comment in response to Heathers note earlier today and (hopefully) pass along some hope and inspiration. Our Almighty God does not want you to feel defeated or like a failire- that isn’t coming from Him. I have definitely been in your shoes and can relate all too well. When I feel down, I hold on to Gods promise in Romans 8:28 “and we know that all things work together for good for those that are called according to His purpose”. Even our failures (or what we feel is a failure) will be victorious in His hands! I went through the hardest year of my life recently as a new mommy, stressful work environment and demands of life…it was just too much. I was maxed out and was a prime example of a “underwhelmed soul”. I had good intentions to do things but didnt have the energy to follow through. One instance in particular, I prayed to God to help me. Later that week, God opened a window for me that was totally unexpected to change jobs (same pay but with less responsibility). He has completely blessed me through this change- and I know He will for you too. Don’t get down on yourself…you are wonderfully and fearfully made – I encourage you to continue to hold onto Jesus and claim your victory in ALL things through Him. We let ourselves down sometimes…but He never will!

  68. I have sensed the Holy Spirit prompt me to step up and take on more service in a group at church that I help to lead. Of course God provided the opportunities and I jumped on them. It feels so right and peaceful! God is so good and His ways and timing are always the best!!!!

  69. The truth of the matter is, I don’t have a crazy, full, busy schedule…anymore! I’m in year 2of our son being away for college and we only had the 1 child. My plate is open, my house is empty, I gave my ‘all’ to being home all those years, my resume is blank! I’ve been waiting…and waiting for God’s best yes plans and purposes!

    • Hi Nicole, I feel the same way! My youngest just left for college, and it’s very strange to not have the “overwhelmed” schedule anymore – I too feel like I’m trying to figure out my purpose now and what God’s plan is for me now….and what should I being saying yes to!

  70. I don’t know if a best “no” counts this week. God smacked me in the face with it Sunday evening. I had been holding onto some volunteer work because I truly believe in it, and there is no one to step in and take my place (and no I’m not exaggerating. This assistant executive directors will have to pick up for my area.). A good friend and I were discussing the situation and I realized that I wasn’t appreciated and I was the one keeping the relationship alive. So I wrote my resignation letter yesterday and sent it last evening. I am committed until November 1st to have time to transfer responsibilities…I will miss it, but I am so relieved at the same time!

  71. I like what Shelly said “We can learn to recognize those (our) assignments and “sense God’s invitation” in the middle of our crazy lives if our heart is surrendered and our soul rests in communion with our Savior”.
    I need to spend more time in God’s word and not always try to figure things out on my own.

  72. LOVED chapter 5 today! I was just discussing with a dear friend the weight of too many decisions…

  73. this chapter was one that really, really spoke to me. I have to admit that before I knew about the bible study, I had read the first part of the book and had gotten to this chapter. It only helped reading it again. but at the time, it really helped me with a decision I had to make. I am totally blind and sang on praise team at our church. I had to rely on our pastor to send me the PowerPoint presentation so I could convert the lyrics I needed to text. Or sometimes, he’d just text me with the names of the songs and I’d have to look them up on google or something. the problem was, our pastor is very disorganized, and he would end up sending me info at the last minute, leaving me having to scurry around to be ready and have all of it loaded onto my iPhone to use with a braille device I can use to read while singing. this brought me nothing but stress. I tried talking to him about it, and he acknowledged this truth, but maybe things might change for a couple weeks and then go back because something happened in his life or whatever. the other thing about it was that though we used to practice Sunday mornings, since he started leading a service at another church on sundays before ours, we had to practice Saturdays. it would take longer to practice on Saturdays because he would practice himself after picking me up. so he’d go over each song himself before we as a team would. so the practice would take 2 hours on a Saturday. With all my health issues, and since I work all week long, I needed at least one day where I didn’t have to go anywhere, where I could just recover from the week. so I realized that though spiritually and financially, of course, this activity was good, physically and emotionally, it was dragging me down and I wasn’t doing it with an attitude of love at all. So when I first read that, it moved me to make the confident no decision I needed to make. I don’t want to go too far the other way, as she says in this chapter, so I am looking forward to hearing what she says in future chapters about when do say yes even if it’s uncomfortable. but this was a big start for me.

  74. God’s wonder takes a no and turns it into a know.
    Here’s the core issue–we aren’t the master provider. He is

    These two things stood out to me. Instead of trying to figure out things myself I need to give Him all and let Him lead me.

  75. Lauren Shields says:

    I really loved the revelation that sometimes when we say yes to situations that aren’t our best yes, we block God’s way. It isn’t always our responsibility to take care of everything. If we always say yes we may fail to do so as reflections of God’s love and we fail to allow God to act and reveal His divine plan through others. I am definitely taking away that our love must trump our activity or else we will end up bankrupt, on so many levels. For someone who feels compelled to always say yes and “fix” things for the people I love, this will be an amazing tool in confidently saying no without feeling as though I am letting others down. Thank you!

    • I agree. We aren’t the master provider, and I think sometimes it’s a “pride” or “control” thing to think we can do everything and be everything to everybody in all situations. But this can make our attitude STINK. This was the biggie for me: love must trump our activity. If we don’t go into it with love, but with the feeling of, oh great, one MORE thing for me to do, look at me and my long to-do list, look at how much I do and the others don’t help, don’t whatever…. this is by far not the BEST YES.

  76. Chapter 5 God’s sense invitation for me are many thoughts like:

    1. Contentment doesn’t come through changed circumstances;it comes through transformation of the heart.

    2. God fills me Himself,works with all I lack,all My weaknesses to make me a new person.

    3. Contentament is the fruit,or work,that God does in me when My heart is full-time engaged in Him.

    4. I like to share This verse:
    Philippians 4:12-13

    “I have learned The secret of being content in any and every situation,weather well fed or hungry, weather living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through Him who gives me strenght”.

    God Bless!!!

  77. I have done a better job at keeping up with the study this week than last week but I feel as though I keep waiting for the knock over the head giving the all knowing power of what is being said. In the first chapters I wasn’t really getting what she said but Chap. 5 I was able to relate with some of it. I liked that Lysa was able to look at the 4 -ly resources and used that in her decision making. I will definitely use this as future pointers to decision making.

  78. God has called me to encourage single/divorced parents. I have run from this for a few years now, in part because of opposition from the church. “I’m not (fill in the blank) enough” fills my mind more often than not, but just as Jonas got a second chance to obey God’s instructions, I’m learning it’s not too late to follow His lead. This book, along with “You’re Made for a God-Sized Dream” are a part of my plan to live in His will. Thank you so much for this much-needed message.

  79. I recently volunteered for something and before I said yes, I prayed over it and followed The Best Yet example. I knew God was saying, Go for it, reach out and do it. So I am.
    On a side note, I also know the more I do in the name of The Lord, the more Satan try’s to stop it. As of this moment, the computer I need to accomplish this task is down. In faith, I have given this temporary roadblock into the hands of The Lord.

  80. I am in such a struggle in my life right now. My sweet husband was laid off over the summer and has yet to find a job. I have three sweet blessings and one on the way and we recently moved to try and keep our bills lowered. I am a people pleaser, so I am get myself involved in so many activities. PTO, cheerleading, soccer board, Girl Scouts, praise team at church, and teaching children’s classes. I NEEDED to hear this message. I need to find my confident no, and be aware of when God is telling me to use it. I also need to find my courageous yes, because I know He is calling me to be a disciple and make more disciples with the people He has placed in my path. I need to get out of my shell, put on the armor, and share my Jesus with everyone I meet!

  81. Some of the Yeses that were led by God that come to my mind are as follows:
    – When I was a freshman in highschool, I had believed I wasn’t good enough to be in any form of leadership, much less be a part of a worship band. I had been invited to a Campus Crusade meeting my first week on campus and was seriously thinking of not going. After all…I didn’t know anyone. But God, in His amazing and abundant grace, sent one of my now besties to my door to take me to that meeting. After it was over, the worship leader made an announcement that they were looking for people who could play instruments and sing to be a part of their worship team. I felt God’s “Yes!” resonnate in my heart, walked up to that stage rather than running away and have been leading worship since.
    – Fast forward six years…I was debating leaving my home church in said college town when my pastor and friend pulled me aside and asked if I would be interested in joining him and his team in planting a church in Minneapolis. Side note: I’ve always wanted to live in the city, particularly the Twin Cities, and could hardly believe my ears when he asked me. I had tried multiple times over the last three years, asking, “Now, God?” only to be met with a “Not yet.” The same “Yes!” I had felt the first time I approached the stage resonnated again and I moved to Minneapolis a year later to plant this church. It’s been an awesome, God-filled ride since!
    – Currently — He’s been asking me to choose Him each morning I wake up, during this season of grief. Lately, he’s turned the question to, “Will you continue to choose me long after the sorrow subsides?” I so want to say yes to that question. No amount of time spent with add joy and fulfillment to my life outside of choosing to spent time with my Savior.

  82. April Ferry says:

    My favorites quotes from the book are:
    “A good approach to something requires enough resources to handle the demands of that activity.”
    “When we slip at living out the Word of God, we slip at living in the will of God” and
    “My attitide of love must not be sacrificed on the altar of activity.”

  83. Hi from France ladies! I really need the message of Lysa’s book, especially as I am back to work full time, teaching, and find it so hard to get used to the new rhythm , and taking care of the ouse and my children too. I feel that I have no time left for any of my own dreams and I find it very hard. I have been praying a lot about this and why God has put me in such a situation (going back to work full time was not my decision but my boss’!) : I am thinking my best yes right now is to embrace both my teaching calling and my mothering anb that I must learn to let go of my own desires. I hope God will help me grow from this hard times, into someone less self-focused. THank you for this community!

  84. Tonya Burgess says:

    love this-“God is a master at providing just the right thing in just the right timing.” ,pg 59. This really ministered to me. I hate waiting. My nature is to know what lies ahead and the unknown is scary to me, He knows what I need when I need it.

  85. “Have you ever sensed God’s invitation to say yes to an assignment? Maybe you’re sensing His invitation now.”
    I am struggling with a possible assignment that I don’t know what to do about. Our youth leader is leaving in two weeks and I have been helping her with Jr. Church for about a year and half now. At first, I was adamant about saying no to this because, honestly it’s a HUGE responsibility….planning weekly lessons, preparing for said lessons, what happens if I can’t be there one Sunday, what if I get burnt out? On top of this, I am already on the pulpit committee and teach a ladies Bible study, work full-time and have 2 young children.
    But, what if the whole thing falls apart and there is NO Jr. Church, no one else has stepped up to volunteer for this (I don’t think they have even asked anyone). I am also reading “Becoming More Than a Good Bible Study Girl” (I know, I am crazy, reading two books at the same time while doing all of the above) anyway I just got to the chapter today where Lysa talks about how going to a Jr. Church at a friends church starting changing the way she viewed church as a whole. And I am thinking to myself, “what if I can do that for 1 kid, then it will be worth it all”.
    Any prayers / help from you ladies would be greatly appreciated.

  86. Not handling life very good at the moment … trying to stay positive. Need to go to my own doctor to get refills; but no one to mother-in-law sit …(we are 24/7 caregivers) so the heck with medical care. I am tired of pushing forward and getting pushed backward. There will never be an end to this … God, you are in control. You will need to do what you see fit for my health; because I am done working on it from my end.

  87. sorry this is just a test comment because I wanted to see if I could get e-mail notifications working. I now see how I can do this. Sorry ladies.

  88. Nehemiah girl says:

    Hi Ladies,

    We are giving our best yes as our family has the opportunity to foster babysit for our friends. Our children are very excited and eager to help with this ministry too. My husband and I have been praying for what our next step should be in foster care, as we have a love for and deep burden for all of His children. God is amazing and so good. We couldn’t be more excited for this upcoming opportunity to provide foster babysitting. Please pray that we continue to give our best yes in this area.

  89. Camille Ballard says:

    “Not every assignment is my assignment.” Boy did that speak to me. I always felt like I had to take it all on. Everything in our church bulletin, lol. Yep, that was me.

  90. True confessions. I am a procrastinator. In regards to most everything. Even this comment. I meant to do it yesterday. I meant to get my book before the Bible study started too. Don’t ask me how that one turned out. What was I attending to so diligently, so thoughtfully, and with so much intent that it caused me to lose so many precious minutes that I couldn’t find the time to, say, order a book online, or type up thoughts that I had already formed? People pleasing. Enabling. Running myself ragged for a cause that I long ago became picked up. Became a martyr for. I stand on my pile of dirty laundry, cleaning bucket in one hand, work bag in the other and talk out of both sides of my face. I go from being the ever gracious housewife, doing it all and keeping it together, to a cross between the whiney “Nobody notices me or the work I do” to the self righteous, frustrated, and angry ” nobody respects me, I do and do, when does someone else get a clue!”

    It will never, ever cease to amaze me how my loving, amazing, wonderful Father places things in my path when I need them the most. And not just one thing either. When I really need to learn about something and have some serious heart work to do….it’s like a waterfall of God fueled, led, and provided worship, learning, and study.
    It IS truly amazing. Take this Bible Study. I started because I love listening to Lysa and have wanted to do one of her studies, and I wasn’t able to participate in my women’s group evening bible study this time around. “Why not, you wonder?”
    Well, let see…..Why not?
    Oh the changes my family have gone through recently. The kind of changes that flip you over, turn you upside down, all around, up, down, and all around……after that—you start over, if you can remember if you’re sure that your legs still work! And thank goodness you can trust someone bigger than yourself to tell you which direction is North.
    My husband just came home from a residential addiction recovery center. I can’t tell you how this book has spoken to me so far regarding how I living my life, spoken to me about my need to find and seek my confidence in the Lord, no in those around me. I thank you Lord for giving me this opportunity to start working on the things that attentions

  91. Jeanine Montgomery says:

    Karen I so completely understand your struggle. Staying positive is so important although I know how hard it is and how trying it is . My Mom came to live with us over a year ago as stress took a detrimental toll including affecting her physical body on top of the mind. I fought so hard to trust God and I would say that caring for her is still a Best Yes decision. She wouldn’t be with us today if we hadn’t trusted God to work all things out. For the longest time I went to bed worried she wouldn’t wake the next morning.God blessed me with a husband who has been amazing with her and our family is growing closer even with a son who was recently diagnosed with Autism, Anxiety Disorder and other things. The affect on my daughter has taken its toll and I spend my days driving to appointments.I have been struggling with feeling so stretched and having my own physical concerns. You are truly a gift to be caring for your Mother-in-Law!!! Keep on trusting God for each step of light He gives you in this journey.

  92. Yes, I have sensed God’s invitation to say yes to an assignment many times and just recently said yes to one of those assignments 🙂 One of my favorite quotes from ch.5 is: “…the wonder of God brings forth things we couldn’t think of, didn’t know to ask for, and would hardly believe could be possible. His wonder is my assurance. It doesn’t all depend on me.” So encouraging!

  93. I am so thankful for this study and the posts. I did not get a chance to even look at the email yesterday, and then I just looked at the email reminder just a few minutes ago, and really just briefly. I was very discouraged because of my schedule, I am keep saying, I don’t even have time for this Bible Studay. However, just reading some of the comments during a 15 minutes break has encouraged me. I have set aside time tonight (sent texts to my family) and said hey this is going to time I am unavailable. So I can catch up with what is going on with the Bible Study and catch up with my reading. Thank you ladies!!!

    • That’s great, Debra! Setting boundaries around our time and protecting the sacred space of time with God is #TheBestYes! So excited you are finding encouragement here in community with your P31 OBS sisters! 🙂

  94. The one quote that popped out at me today was: Whatever attitude we bring into the situation will be multiplied. Such a good reminder for me as I deal with my 4 young children!

  95. “Whatever attitude we bring into a situation will be multiplied.” This couldn’t be more true of women, after all, if momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy! But the attitude doesn’t just multiply in our own selves, becoming grumpier or more irritated as the minutes pass. It multiplies by the number of people we come into contact with. Ouch. I need to remember Proverbs 15:13a – “A happy heart makes the face cheerful”…and the attitude will follow.

  96. Doing this Bible study was one way I saw God working in my life and inviting me in. I kept hearing about the book, saw that a Bible study was going to be happening, but kept deleting the emails and messages. I was ignoring it. I am in the midst of major change – we just moved to a new community and my husband started a new job, I have been commuting 2 hours to work – I felt like I didn’t have time. God kept that invitation open until I finally said yes and I am so glad I did!!!

  97. I liked the thought in chapter 5 that if we say yes to every assignment, then we will not only overwhelm ourselves and underwhelm our souls, but we will also be saying yes to assignments that aren’t ours and thereby getting in God’s way to do miracles for people. I liked the quote – We aren’t the master provider, He is!

  98. Christina Steiner (Proverbs 31 Ministries OBS Team) says:

    My favorite quote from Chapter 5 is on pg 55
    “When we slip at living out the Word of God, we slip at living in the will of God.” – this is so true!

    I also like what’s before it: “And if someone or something demands attention that I don’t have the emotional space to handle, my actions start betraying my intentions. I will start slipping at reflecting Jesus in my words and deeds.”

    I really love how she broke down the 4 areas to make a decision: physically, financially, spiritually, and emotionally. So many times I have made decisions based on my “gut” and didn’t consider these things. What practical wisdom to have when making future decisions!!

  99. I don’t know what my Best Yes might be right now. I think I feel the pulling toward writing and leading women but in what capacity I have no clue. I do feel a need to encourage, it’s something I just have to do. LOVE to do, and maybe being an intercessor of prayer. I am handicapped and have been all of my life, though never really felt like it until now that I’m in my sixties and struggle much more than I did. What possible use can I be? is my cry from a place of self pity, but that’s a place I can’t afford to dwell in. I know God can use me, even if it’s not in the way I’d have it be (not being handicapped) These chapters, well words fail me right now. I have been deeply effected by them and just want Lysa to know how much God has used her in my life so far. Thank you to Shelly, Nicki and Melissa and all the ladies that work so hard for the Lord and us. God’s Blessings Ladies. <3

    • Loresa,
      Thank you for sharing your story. It really touched me to know, I am not the only one struggling with God’s plans for me in my life right now. At our church, we are doing a 6 week series called “Life Together”, and I took these words from a recent sermon. I wanted to share with you the words of encouragement that I have been repeating daily, to get me to the place of peace, in which I KNOW God wants me to be……
      “I have not been burdened with this life, I have been entrusted with it”
      You are in my prayers!

  100. After our last child was born, we spent two weeks in the NICU after a surgery to attach our daughter’s esophagus together. During our stay, we were blessed by the services of the Children’s Miracle Network. I remember telling my husband that some day I would like to offer any help I could to families who find themselves in similar situations. The opportunity presented itself last week. Our local hospital is building a Ronald McDonald Family Room and are looking for Volunteers. I contacted them yesterday. 🙂 I’m waiting to see if this a door that the Lord wants me to walk through. We have 7 kids and my husband often travels. I struggle with having patience to know when to dig into my God-given passions and balancing the household responsibilities.

  101. Last year our church saw a need for singles in our church that were 30 and over. When it first started I didn’t know about it but when I got the chance to attend the leader mentioned he might not be able to host each week. Without thinking about it I said “I can host!” While at the time it was to be an as needed thing within a week myself and another person quickly got called to host and lead for the summer. By the end of August we were full time hosting and leading a growing group.
    This last spring the co-leader’s child had several medical complications and my engangment broke suddenly. We were both emotionally stuck…we could barely move one foot in front of the other. I remember we sat in my living room looking at each other thinking “This group needs us. It’s still trying to get off the ground and if we leave to take care of our own situations…” I remember clearly feeling peace saying “TRUST ME!” I told my co-leader and our pastors what was going on. We, without knowing it, where going through our Best Yes checklist. Since then 2 new leaders have come foward and the group will take off next week. I remember thinking “if i don’t host and lead for the ladies what will happen? Will people see me as a failure? Am I letting them down? I know so-and-so needs this…” but it came down to I needed to take care of myself physically, mentally, emotinally, and spirtually. Now the chance has come for me to lead a table at our church Wednesday nights. It’s amazing watching the journey!

    • Kathryn,
      Thanks so much for this, this has helped me realize that if I say no to something because I truly do not have the time and/or resources to commit this will open up an opportunity for someone else who does have the time and resources.

  102. I loved what Lysa wrote on page 51 ” Whenever there is a conflict between what we feel we’re expected to do and what we feel we should do, it’s time to step back from the decision. And seek clarity from the only source free of the entanglements of misguided opinions and unrealistic expectations who is God. I try not to make my decisions right away when someone asks something of me. On the other hand I am quick to say yes without Godly counsel. . Now in God’s strength I will step back and pray to see if this is God’s will or not. ( A Best Yes, or Best No). I will remember to Stop, Pray and Listen. Then respond with answer.

  103. Cat Miglionico says:

    I really like chapter 5 when you find yourself in a grey area of decisions. Remembering to add how you will love in that decision. Along with your emotional needs to make sure your tank isn’t full, i have fallen guilty into saying yes when i ahould have said no because i just didn’t have enough of me to offer.

  104. Alicia Lovelace says:

    I really enjoyed chapter five. It brought such great insight and reminders that it is so important that when I am in the moments of battling with what I feel I am expected to do and what I feel I should do, that I need to STOP and SEEK God’s guidance and his clarity. He is the master of the plans for our lives, who better to reach out to than him himself?

  105. Like I said in the previous day on chapter 4, I am in a decision time. I have sensed the urging to teach a women’s class at church. What is holding me back is the question; “Is it me wanting this (to say YES!) or is this God inviting me to an assignment?
    The verse that I am reading and applying to this decision is Colossians 3:17, “And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”
    And that is just it. What ever I decide, what ever I do, I want and desire to do in the name of Jesus Christ. I want my attitude of love to trump my activity. I want my God-honoring attitude to reflect God’s love. Like Lysa says; “Whatever attitude we bring into a situation will be multiplied.”
    I want a certain attitude, not a gut feeling attitude. I want to bring an attitude of confidence and a God-honoring attitude into a class that it multiplies into the hearts of other ladies.

    Sigh….if only that neon sign would drop down. :/

    • Shannon

      I don’t know if my story will be of any interest but here goes. Several months ago I fell ill and had to leave a job that was nearly killing me. During one weekend I picked up the bulletin at church and a flyer off the back table into the pile I bring home and read every weekend after church. They were looking for teachers for youth ministry – I do not have my on children yet, my step children are grown and I have never ever been around children a lot except for a younger sister and brother. Something on those pages made me email the Youth Ministry Coordinator, get in the car and meet him, read the book and agree to teach Monday night bible study with 7th graders. Until last night I was terrified but something great happened they started to open up, started to show me more about Jesus, the saints, their lives, simple acts of kindness like washing dishes and silly things about siblings. I was pretty happy – then it happened that crushing moment I let them out 5 minutes late (a third of the class showed up 5 minutes late originally but whose counting) and a mom not introducing herself or saying hello or anything walked into the classroom in front of another younger professional teacher (I have no teaching background) and looked up at the clock and said “Oh I just wanted to make sure your clock was set right since everyone else is already out and in the parking lot from the other classes and you have three moms standing here waiting” I assured her we would be out on time next week and packed my thing. Mary the other teacher told me how rude that was and not to worry, I walked out and the coordinator had already been accosted by this mom and told me not to worry but I hurt all the way home with the shame of feeling like I failed. Then this morning I got up and shook off and thought – no one can ruin the good things in the hearts of the kids that I have and that I am gaining from them no matter what not even cut throat soccer mom’s. God wanted me in that place and I belong there and nothing is going to shake my confidence because just like I have been telling the kids in the lessons – they are special, they are worthy of love and God is love. All I can tell you is quiet your heart to discern in prayer, know you are worthy of love and if you are forcing it – it is not right.
      Prayers for you Shannon

  106. Lysa thank you for this chapter. It opened my eyes and my heart to really know what the best yes would be and what it really looked like. My heart wanted so badly to help this teen. But your words and phrases helped me see that physically, financially, spiritually, and emotionally i could not do it. It was a decision I thought I could, we could as a family, but I had been debating on it for quite some time, simply because my heart said yes…when realistically, and after reviewing those four PFSE ( Physically,spiritually, financially, emotionally) it was clear it would not be the best yes for all concerned. So instead we open our home, our lives, our love and our family to this teen whenever they need. One day circumstances may change for us and then we will review the situation again. This chapter has made difference to how I review things, not in haste, nor with uncertainty, but with clarity through God. thank you

  107. Johanna (Group 36) says:

    This past spring I was very unhappy with my workplace. There were some safety concerns, and it was a job that did not have a lot of flexibility. As a single-mom, flexibility is so important to me so that I do not miss anything with my girls. I started looking for a job and praying for God to lead me. To be honest, I prayed to be able to work with people who were Godly, because I love our OBS community so much. So he did lead me to exactly that: a ministry assistant position at my church. It was less than 20 hours, and only making half of what I was making at my other job; however I felt this was something God had created almost just for me. I felt like He opened this door for me. I was nervous because it was so little money, but I prayed and prayed and in my heart, I knew this was my assignment God wanted me for. I had to trust Him to provide, and He is!!! So I took the job and I completely love it. I started at the beginning of August and it is literally the perfect job for me. They have even added more hours already, starting this week, which will really help financially. I feel as though this was my Best Yes of the year so far. I was nervous about taking the job, but at the same time, I had peace because I knew without a doubt, this was God’s calling for me.
    God bless,

  108. Praying for you Shannon. He will guide you!
    The wonder of God, my assurance! I also love your statement Shelly “No appointment can replace an appointment with the King. “

  109. Lately I have had to make many descisions regarding small little things as well as big life choice. Eventually I have procrastinated on making the decision for so long that I either lose out or it becomes even more difficult because I don’t like having to struggle later when it wasn’t the right one. I feel that by asking myself if it could fit into my life physically, spiritually, financially, and emotionally, it would make my decision a lot easier because I would not feel that burden and it would make me more aware of how thin i spread before I break.

  110. I started IntentionallyPursuing.com out of a desire God had placed in my life to live each day with intention. Intentional was my word of the year. And when I did the Proverbs 31 OBS Bible study “What Happens When Women Say Yes to God?” I stepped out and said “yes.”
    Little did I know where that little yes would lead me or is still leading me, but I desire to follow Him wherever He leads me.

  111. As I read this chapter, I thought of all the times I said “yes ” and found myself drained physically, financially, spiritually and emotionally. My children have grown and moved away, my mom has passed away this past week and now I have grandchildren that need my support. I find that I am saying no to all the babysitting and starting to find time for myself and my husband that we weren’t able to have when the children were little. I thank God that I am able to say no but still need guidance on saying the best yes and realizing if the situation will be in my best interest. I look forward to reading the next chapter and finding the answer to what my best yes looks like.

    • Rochelle Ceballos says:

      Amen! I am excited for Chapter 6 as well! That’s awesome that you’ve learned to say “no.” I am still working on this. I have always been known to be a yes person, but am learning that I don’t have to always say yes to please people.

  112. vickie mullins says:

    Hate I was not able to get on twitter party would not let me

    • So sorry, Vickie! I’ve certainly had nights like that! Don’t give up! Maybe the next one will work out for you. We also have the Facebook event, Proverbs 31 Bible Study LIVE, every Thursday night. Join us there! 🙂

  113. alexandria ramos says:

    I really am enjoying chapter 5,as well as all the other chapters.But to be honest, Lysa’s book “Unglued” was the very first book I ever purchased in the Family Christian Store. It was the very first religious book I’ve ever picked up,period.I absolutely love Lysa as a author I get so wrapped up in her books and she has helped guide me into a relationship with God. Reading the books and different chapters and looking at everyone’s comments it seems as if everyone has a story to relate to the topic or a story that ended up working out for them.Every comment I read I feel like God has worked in magical ways for other people but I have yet to experience that for myself.I so desperately want to share a moment with you all when God helped me make a best Yes decision but I’m still patiently waiting to be able to share the kind of stories all of you women are sharing. Is it just me or is this just coming easy for everyone else? Am I not praying the right way or following the right guidelines? Or maybe nothing drastic has happened in my life recently that has put me in a position to make a big decision? Hmmmm..

    • Alexandria . . it sounds like God led you to a best yes decision when you walked into that bookstore and bought Unglued which in turn brought you here!! Don’t fall into the trap of comparing your journey with someone else’s. God had a special story written just for you. 🙂 Even the small, daily decisions can be best yeses for us when we are seeking His wisdom for our lives. Draw near to Him and He will draw near to you. He loves you with an everlasting love! We are so glad you are part of the P31 OBS community!

      • alexandria ramos says:

        Thank you so much Shelly.Your kind words truly mean a lot to me. I am so thankful I happened to walk into the Family Christian Store one day and pick up a book.Lysa’s book! I’m so thankful to have become apart of this journey with the online Bible studies class.This is my first Bible studies class ever and I think you ladies are absolutely fabulous and I can’t wait to learn more from P31 OBS community.

  114. Rochelle Ceballos says:

    Wow! Chapter 5 was just what I needed. I have been in situations where I feel “bad” saying no and sometimes I feel like saying “no,” is ungodly. Chapter 5 explained so well how we could be blocking God’s way by saying “yes” at times. This I something I need to work on in my own life. Not only am I scared to say “no,” when needed, I feel bad. I need to let this bad feeling go away and just trust God. If God says “no,” that means there is something better in store for that person. I am so thankful for this chapter an dam definitely going to start applying this lesson to my life. It all boils down to, “Are you trusting God or yourself?” After all, God is the great provider, not us.

    • Rochelle,

      I feel you sister! Its crazy how especially us women we have this need to always please and then if we dont give that YES, we feel so guilty to the point where we begin digging an even deeper hole to try make up for us saying no. Lets keep those prayers for not only ourselves but for our fellow sisters that this need to please human doesnt overwhelm us to the point of underwhelming our souls!

  115. Thinking about best yeses, I was talking to someone today about when the new basketball season was starting and about practice times. I had made a comment that I had bell choir practice on a certain night so practice had to be early and she asked me if bells and my teaching high school bible class on Sunday mornings were “filling” activities. It made me think a little bit about why I am involved is some of these things. Music has been a huge part of my life for a very long time. It is a major stress reliever at times. God has given me a talent and I am blest to be able to share it in bell choir as well as in playing piano for myself and for chapel/church. Also with starting teaching high school youth, I am loving to see how God is working in these teenagers’ lives. When I was asked, I kept saying it sounded like fun to be involved and I truly enjoy being involved. These are a couple of yeses that God has given me that not only share His love with others, but also fill me in return.

  116. Donna Wooten says:

    Wow….getting ready to dig into chp4-6 and can’t say enough how encouraged I am to have God speak through this Online study and Lysa’s encouragement in The Best Yes. I am blessed to have grown up with Christ foundation but after the loss of my mother to cancer I began to question how I could hear Gods words and be used for his glory when you feel frozen with grief. We had other trials and not having her here and finding the time to grow beyond grief when the world doesn’t want you to slow down is a balance of the best yes. I am ready to dig in and learn and grow.

  117. Ka'Lon Dewey says:

    “Whatever I do. In word or deed. My approach must honor Jesus”. These of the word of Lysa Terkeurst in chapter 5 of “The Best Yes”. I can be honest and say, I do not always seek out my best yes. Instead of saying no to assignments or the requests of others, I have always said, “Yes”. Most of the time these yeses, would leave me feeling empty. I enjoy how Lysa shows us as readers to exhaust all of our options physically, financially, spiritually, and emotionally. Saying no doesn’t mean we are the worse person in the world, but it does mean that instead of seeking others for provision, we seek God’s provision. His Word instructs us on the approach we are to take with life. Chapter 5 was full of so much practical information, that I cannot wait to see what the other chapters have in store.

  118. Hello Ladies..
    .hope yall had a blessed day despite the crazy schedules! These chapters so far are becoming my new bff’s 🙂 Its amazing how one word or sentence can trigger a string of emotions, or memories of how I have lived my life without thinking of how my attitude affects my activities that I have said YES to. Col 3:17 ” Whatever you do, in word or deed, needs to be done in honor of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to god the father through him” What a powerful verse that struck a chord with me because when I think of my life, and how many times I have rushed to A YES answer all in the name of pleasing someone, it makes me sad. BUT God is giving me the opportunity to change that through his word and his wisdom. As humans especially us women, we always want to please people and we forget that our Master is the only one who can fulfill US ALL, and it is not our JOB to fill everyones life’s tank by depleting our own. This bible verse made me realize just how much I need to learn to take time when it comes to making decisions, and to make sure that My attitude will always trump my activity so that I can always honor the Lord Jesus in my words and deed.

  119. I forgot to mention how much I enjoyed Lysa’s way of breaking down the decision making process into financial, emotional, physical and spiritual. I am in the process of making some decisions with my fiance so this was such a HUGE help infact it made me smile when I began reading this chapter because I seriously saw the hand of God in this one. I know deep down my soul that when my fiance and I make that decision, we will have no qualms and above all our attitude will honor our God.

  120. Emily Boreing says:

    One of things at the wof conference we did was text a certain friend “you are loved” that we felt lead to that needed it. Well the one I felt lead to I didn’t have her number bc we had a falling out so I sent it to a mutual friend, and after talking to that mutual friend today found out that friend I had a falling out with is going through a terrible domestic violence issue right now so after reading tonight I could feel God urging me to reach out her (being someone who is not one to normally let go of a grudge and apologize first or accept blame is a huge accomplishment for me)but if I you ladies would please keep ashley and her 3 kids in your prayers!

  121. Yesterday I received a text message from a friend asking for advice, Scripture, books, or anything really on where to begin healing after a breakup. I was in the middle of cooking dinner and I could think of several other things I had to do, but I felt God saying, “Meghan, this is a Best Yes moment. Stop what you are doing, let go of YOUR to-do list, and pay attention to mine.” I went back through my journals from the last five months, because I have recently gone through excruciating heartbreak as well. But in that moment of saying “YES!” to God, God took that moment and taught me a thing or five as well. This week I have seen that our “Best Yes”es are important, because not only are they answering God’s call on our hearts to carry out His plan, but they are moments in time where we are in direct relationship and communication with our Heavenly Father!

  122. Melissa Chambers says:

    Shelly I absolutely love what you said, “These words in these chapters have marched right up next to me and parked in my personal space.” That sums up what Lysa through the power of the Holy Spirit inside of her does to me every time! I had a few big takeaways from Chapter 5. First of all I just love how Lysa gives up the tools, power and ability to apply God’s truth in our lives in a simple, everyday kinda way! P52-53: “I need to determine whether I had the required resources: physically, financially, spiritually and emotionally.”P54: “if I spend resources I don’t have, I will eventually bankrupt myself. I don’t know about you, but for me I know the danger of getting emotionally bankrupt. It is straight-up ugly.” “But while the Bible might not address my activities in specifics, it certainly does address my approach to those activities in specifics. Whatever I do. In word or dead. My approach must honor Jesus.” P59: “Here’s the core issue – we are not the master provider. He is. All of those combine to major motivation for me to embrace this season the Lord has me in, I may be in a dessert of sorts, at least the world, even fellow Christians see it that way but just like Moses God has great things in store for me and I need to work with God by listening and obeying Him and carefully considering all my options!

  123. “Whatever attitude we bring it will be multiplied.” I like how Lysa applied this to making her decision in this chapter. Awe, the power of a positive attitude, and life is so much easier to handle when you feel positive about it. “God’s way is love. My way must be a way of love.” These are words I should carefully consider as I approach my daily life, my choices in motherhood, my interactions with my husband, my reactions in my job…

  124. Whatever attitude we bring it will be multiplied. Oh how true this is. I am a huge believer in the power of positive thinking.

  125. We have a ladies Bible study group at our church called Women 2 Women. We are reading The Best Yes together. After meeting last week, & on my way home; I felt like God was leading me to commit to praying for each of these women regularly. When I got home, I made a handmade card (one of my ways of using my crafting talent to encourage others) for each of the women. In each card I let each woman know how much they meant to me & encouraged them & told them that I committed to pray for them. That was my best yes!

  126. The Word of God addresses my approach. The ways of God address my attitude. Now the wonder of God provides my assurance. And here’s where things get exciting even when it feels hard to say no. God’s wonder takes a no and turns it into a know.

  127. “God’s wonder takes a no and turns it into a know… Oh, the wonder of God brings forth things we couldn’t think of, didn’t know to ask for, and would hardly believe could be possible. His wonder is my assurance. It doesn’t all depend on me. Not every assignment is my assignment.” I tend to take ownership of the problems–and solutions–of everyone around me. It has to do with that oldest sister, codependent of an abuser then an alcoholic, mother of a troubled child thing in me that has to take care of and control the people in my life. “His wonder is my assurance. It doesn’t all depend on me.”

  128. My favorite quote from chapter 5 was:

    Could this fit physically, financially, spiritually, and emotionally?

    These 4 areas are major areas in our lives so each one needs to be carefully considered when making a Best Yes decision.


  129. Jada Harris says:

    My favorite point in the book. ” If the activity is in line with the Word, but my approach is not, I will bancrupt this part of my life.” I will truly begun to examine bother large and small decesion, emotionally, spiritually, physically and financially before making a decesion. I want to use insight and God’s wisdom to discern the best yes even if it is not seen that way by others.

  130. I have been working these past few months to really hear the LORD in the little things – in many of the whays which other women have mentioned in comments above. I believe “practicing” this kind of hearing helped when the LORD called me to some big things regarding job responsibilities in my work. I felt like HE was saying “go for it” – and “let ME dream for you” (taken from a Casting Crowns song) – so I “jumped” and currently am in one of the most difficult places I have ever been personally and professionally. While it’s been hard – it has also kept me seeking the Holy Spirit for wisdom, guidance, and discernment CONSTANTLY – (which is not a bad place to be). I do long for rest – but am thankful that the LORD has provided a counselor for all things and the grace and strength to be obedient to HIM. I am thankful for The Best Yes book – as it has “shown up” in my life right at the right time!

  131. .

    I love this chapter because I believe its critical for anyone who is determined to stay on track with God’s purpose and plans. My favorite quote in this chapter is: the decision making questions – could this fit physically, financially, spiritually and emotionally? The power in that a best yes requires that all should be yes’s to ensure we are all walking in true love and can really reflect Jesus in the assignment. This is my huge take away from this. I pray that all of us in the study will step back to evaluate our choices so that we will glorify God in all that we do, and allow God to show his wonder in our lives. As I think about it , it could be as simple as 1) is this the right time to take that call? Can I emotionally handle it? 2) I will love to give a friend a gift, but can I really afford it although it is a loving thing to do.
    Thanks Lysa for those words of wisdom.

  132. I like the 3 decision questions. I don’t always allow the time before making decisions to be God’s word and ask others who have been there. I do feel overwhelmed at this time in my life. I am a mother of 2 small girls one in preschool I am working part time but feels like full time a lot of opportunities have came up at work (training in different areas I always wanted to) and my husband farms I need and want to help him. Plus not to mention the house and laundry. …. busy busy busy

  133. Oh my gosh! This Monday, I exercised saying no to something as my best yes! I shared it with my group. If I had not been digging into the Word – particularly the book of Proverbs- I don’t know if I would be able to say that No and be ok with it. God is certainly chiseling away at me and yes, it’s uncomfortable. BUT I AM OK WITH IT BECAUSE IT IS GOING TO HELP ME BECOME THE MASTERPIECE HE CREATED ME TO BE!! (can any OBSer remember where this chiseling reference is from? It’s not in the best yes book).
    And as for what God is calling me to say yes too. I have felt this tugging for something and I have been praying for direction and I think God just made it plain as day yesterday.

  134. Trisha Kemp says:

    My heart was so touched by comments from sweet women offering to pray for me. I have no words to express how thankful I am and I felt those prayers today. I hope those that responded to my deepest sorrow this morning see this comment. I feel so richly blessed that you lifted my name up to heaven.

  135. My favorite quote is one I need to paste not only on my forehead but on the inside of my eyelids……..”Here’s the core issue…….we aren’t the master provider. He is


  137. Beth Anne W. says:

    I just had a “yes” opportunity this morning! I felt God leading me to invite one of the girls at the barn where I keep my horse to attend a teen girls retreat that my friends and I are hosting this weekend. I had already left her a note about it but I felt like God really wanted me to make sure she knew I wanted her there. I have a burden for these girls to know Christ but my introverted self often struggles with when and how to approach them and what to say. And Satan tried to convince me that what I say won’t make a difference. But God seems to say “Do it anyway. Say it anyway. Let me do the rest in my time. Just be faithful with the opportunities I give you. I’ll give you the courage and the words to say.” So I talked to her-told her what an awesome time we are going to have, that I really want her to come. She seemed interested and said she would talk to her mom about it. I did my part now God will be the one to work in her heart and give her the desire to be there.

  138. Yvonne McCallar says:

    I’ve noticed that it’s hard to say no to anyone, because we don’t know if they are honest. With God, I always say yes

  139. I received a yes from God for a position in our church. At the time I was looking for opportunities to make our church home more of the spiritual home for our family. When the offer for this position came, it wasn’t quite what I had in mind. I was worried about the time commitment for it. My husband and I prayed and both felt the urging of God to say Yes! While I have only been in the position for 5 months, it has been incredibly rewarding. The experience continues to bring our family closer to Jesus and grow while we look for ways to serve others.

  140. Valerie weaver says:

    I feel my divine yes is our churches prayer training classes and prayer team I truly enjoy praying for others I cant wait for the new class to start.Iam loving this book and study so much everything about it is awesome.

    If I bankrupt myself, my attitude of LOVE is sacrificed.
    Without LOVE, there is nothing. I am nothing.

  142. vickie mullins says:

    Time is not on my side this is a area where I pray a lot about ss im driving grand to high school doing laundry an oh lets not forget the husband . Daughter an 2 year pld grandson all living under same roof need I say God has my back lol but time is hard

  143. Chapter 5—“When we slip at living out the Word of God, we slip at living in the will of God.” Powerful!
    My Best Yes book is all marked up with bright pink highlighter, and I love it!

  144. Recently we had our house on the market. I work full time along with having a husband and 4 kids. We also serve as Awana Sparks Directors along with our kids being in other activities. We are busy. After 30 showings I was at my witts end. We said yes to God and took our house off the market. This book came at the right time!

  145. Being a mom I always try and fix things lol. What spoke to me along with the love attitude is this: we aren’t the master provider he is. Ultimately God is in control! Best yes!! Love it !!

  146. “A prudent man sees danger and takes refuge, but the simple keep going and suffer for it.” Proverbs 22:3
    This verse speaks volumes to me since my personality is one that does not want to miss out on fun and adventurous opportunities. I thank God for His love, patience and hand on me over the years, because I did make unwise decisions in my past. Wisdom and insight from God’s Word is the only factor that leads to true discernment for every day decisions. Oh yes, God uses my fun and adventurous personality, in fact, He reveals the every day opportunities to me through His love lenses. I simply adore how He helps me predetermine my Best Yes.

  147. Funny thing that this comes up. I had read The Best Yes before this bible study even began and I try and spend each day identifying what my best yes is each day. Recently I have been struggling at my job. I have been unhappy there for a number of years. I went back to school about 3 years ago after realizing that the place that I work now is not a long-term career for me… but I didn’t have the advanced degree to really progress my career. So I stuck out this job that I have basically hated to finish my degree.
    After three VERY LONG years, I graudated this August and began to put in my applications for any job posting that I qualified for. I just recently interviewed for a job and was offered the position! But the position came at a pay cut. Ugh. This is a really great opportunity for me because they will also offer me the possibility to become a licensed clinical social worker. But my husband and I are already living up to our means, so to add a paycut? YIKES!
    I prayed, and prayed, and prayed some more. I sought advise from my trusted friends and my oldest brother, who I have a lot of respect for in maintaining an even attitude and making good decisions. I talked it to death with my husband. And then I prayed some more. I listened for His answer and when I was sure that I had heard what He needed me to hear, I made my decision. I really wanted to apply the principles Lysa taught in The Best Yes and make an unrushed decision because this decision would have a major impact on my life and the life of my family for a long time to come. God spoke to me during one of our recent sermons. The pastor said
    “when God opens a door, you walk through it.” He focused a lot on Revelations where Jesus says that He opens doors nobody can shut and shuts doors nobody can open. Hearing that, hearing this message…. to me was as close to God speaking directly to me saying Kendra, take the job. So… I accepted! I know that by making this decision, which I believe God wanted for me to do, that He will provide in spite of a paycut. So… my Best Yes was to accept the position and turn in my resignation. And while I am sad to be leaving the company after 8 years, I do not regret saying yes to the job and yes to my sanity …. but more than anything, saying Yes to God and Yes to Jesus.

  148. What really spoke to me in Chapter 5 was “if something demands attention that I don’t have the emotional space to handle, my actions start to betray my intention.” I often feel overwhelmed by the sheer amount of work that goes into raising children, staying on top of the every day things, paperwork, appointments, etc. I often find when I start stretching myself thin and agreeing to things that other people need that I am not in a place to provide them that I can become, ahem, a little overbearing. I get short-tempered and agitated and am definitely not being my best yes self. I also tend to be a perfectionist and think that everything is on my plate. I have to remember that He is in charge and that not everything is going to be perfect and that maybe, just maybe, my best yes is leaving the dishes in the sink and playing on the floor with the kids.


  149. Lara Lee Bugeja says:

    So much good stuff in Chapter 5!!!! I loved how Lysa assesses her resources before making decisions. I don’t usually do this – if it sounds good, I do it. I don’t usually assess how it will affect my family or my emotional, physical or spiritual resources. “My attitude of love must not be sacrificed on the altar of activity.” WOW!!! “Whatever attitue we bring will be multiplied.” This is sooo true!! It’s time that I start assessing my resources before making any decisions!! This is sooo good!! I am being pleasantly surprised by this study as it was not what I was expecting it to be!! Hallelujah!!

  150. Oh Shelly!! Catching up and WOW!! Yes to everything that you wrote. I feel TERRIBLE apart from Jesus! The enemy attacks my heart’s ability to hear God’s Divine invitations when I am apart from Jesus. My assignments feels like drudgery when I am apart from Jesus! AMEN!!! (Love that picture of you four beautiful souls. LOVE IT!)

    One quote from chapter 5 that completely blindsided me was from page 51. “Whenever there is a conflict between what we feel we’re expected to do and what we feel we should do, it’s time to step back from the decision.” OH WOW! This helped me tremendously. I sometimes feel such a sense of urgency when I’m conflicted – like I simply MUST choose right this minute. And, I’m sure many an unwise decision was made because I didn’t step back and gain some Godly perspective or seek Godly wisdom before proceeding.

  151. Recently I have seen messages and felt nudgings about foster care. I don’t know if this is part of my assignment or not. I haven’t put much focus on it since it is a whole family assignment and our family is overcommitted as it is. But maybe that’s the point. I’ve mentioned it to my husband and am trying to let those seeds nuture themselves. We are in a good place right now with marriage, family, work, etc. We’ve been on a long road together and are focused on getting our finances in order after our marital separation 7 years ago. This chapter has brought into focus for me that I need to keep on gaining knowledge to be able to discern what is the next step for us. And to take a real, honest, deep look at the areas in our lives that may be affected by our decisions. I have also not focussed fully on praying about it, in hopes of a neon sign. Since that’s not happening, I need to be more deliberate in listening to the quieter signs.

  152. WOW! That pretty much sums up chapter 5. I have a horrible habit of always saying, yes. I very rarely say no to anyone (which is why I was extremely drawn to this particular study, Thank you!!). I never thought about how to assess my decision of saying these two little words until Lysa broke it down for me within this chapter. I can totally relate to being bankrupt in the emotional department. I am at my worst when I am struggling with my emotions. Its not pretty, and afterwards I feel extremely guilty which only compounds the situation. So by learning to step back first and ask myself the questions that Lysa has given us I think I can begin to make better, make that, Best Yes decisions!
    Another part of chapter 5 that hit a cord with me was “Not every assignment is my assignment”. Sometimes I think I need to be the fixer or as Lysa put it the “provider”. I think that if it is placed in my view then obviously God wants me to do it and if I don’t I may let Him or the person or the situation down, I may fail. I think this is at the root of my say “yes” to everything problem. I don’t want to let anyone down. However, Lysa helped me so much by talking about her situation with the young woman and how she handled it. So I am currently learning “not to say yes to something just out of guilt, or pressure, or because saying no is hard” because I don’t want to bankrupt myself and be that worst person I was talking about earlier but rather the a person who shines God’s light and shares His love all the time.
    Thank so so much this study is AWESOME! I am learning so much about myself and what God wants for me! Love it!!

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  154. I can certainly relate to Scarlett O’Hara . I put lot of things off until tomorrow thinking it will be better than to today. The six quotes i came away with from chapter 5 were” What I do in word and deed . My approach must ho : The ways of God address my Attitude:.” The ways of God insist on an attitude of love / Therefore my ways should reflect an attitude of love. ” “”whatever attitude We bring into a situation will be multiplied.
    “the wonder of God my assurance ” The Core issue we aren’t the Master Provider . HE is”
    These helped my to see my attitude in a much better light. I was reminded by these quotes that when I put God first in everything I do , say , Think and action I need to put Him first . Thanks Lisa for these great quotes to help me always to remember to Put God first so i can give the Best Yes.

  155. Chapter 5 nailed me to the wall. I need to begin approaching decisions with those steps.

    Also- I LOVED Proverbs 24- I am a foster mom and this verse applies there so well. God fills my rooms with blessings. Especially when I make sure they are “my assignments”!!

  156. Even though I’m on track in reading the book, I am days behind in reading the posts. I still wanted to add my comment just for accountability! I love chapters 4,5,and 6!!! I want to thank Lysa for sharing how she came to making a difficult decision and how she did it step by step and the reasons for it. This alone helped me greatly!! I cringed as I started reading because I have been faced with a similar situations/decisions and have said yes out of guild and experienced the consequences of that wrong yes. Thank you for walking me through how to look at those situations and make the best decision without creating unnecessary guilt.

  157. My invitation from God lately is to embrace my NON-perfection. I can’t do it all and I can’t do it all well. I can’t do anything perfectly. That’s not the way He made us! I really feel a pull from him to embrace this and roll with this for the rest of my days here on earth. I have this sense that He doesn’t want me to waste another minute worrying about something that’s not perfect, trying to be the perfect mom, perfect daughter, perfect church member.

    On another unrelated (or maybe related) note, I also feel an invitation from God to help the hungry in a more concrete way rather than giving cans of food to food drives and giving money to the food bank. I think this relates to the old me, the perfectionist, because in the past I would have grasped on to this invitation and started working on it NOW. Rather, I’m coming to realize that God wants this to be my best yes and He wants me to pray about it and be patient.

  158. “My attitude of love must not be sacrificed on the altar of activity.”

    Oh Wowzers, did this hit home for me! Too often I am busy- too busy, to do some of the fun things with my littles. But if I don’t love my family and friends while I’m doing any of my to do list, I’d better stop myself until I can!

  159. I am sitting here trying to find the why I’m doing this bible study. Unfortunately I live a mostly solitary life. I do not do a lot of things (my husband has been needing my attention a lot lately). Well in the middle of our personal issues he found friends to hang with. Now I see that he is stretching himself thin. I can see now that this study is not about me and what I can get out of it; it is about what I can learn to help my husband (who does not go to church). Thank you Lysa for listening to what God had planned for you as well as to myself for listening to what God what’s me to do. It is not always about me.

  160. Jessica Coffey says:

    I’m not sure if I’ve gotten an invitation to something or not, but I do love the quote from this chapter that says “if you have to say no, it doesn’t make you a bad person, it makes you the wrong person for that assignment.” I also love “We aren’t the master provider. HE IS.”
    Oh yeah, and also checking to see if something fits physically, financially, spiritually, and emotionally into my life–I’ve never thought about decisions in these terms but it makes total sense! I need to write these down and keep them somewhere for future reference…

  161. I’m behind but I will continue this study! For me! For me! I am in the midst of searching for my assignment. I feel like I have a story that will inspire & encourage others. I just have to wait on God because I have no idea where to begin. I have no extra finances for classes & seminars but if it’s the Lord’s will, He will open up doors for me. Be blessed!

  162. I really enjoyed reading this post, although I am late! Right now I am sensing God’s invitation to write, and in order to do that I needed to step down from a role at church that I have held for the past year. It was a really challenging decision, but for the past two or three months God has confirmed over and over that my holding that position does not fulfill His best yes for me. So today was my last day in that position. It is bittersweet and I am unsure of the unknown, but I know it is a best yes. This additional time will allow me to have a true Sabbath and spend more time in His presence – and in writing.

  163. Fav quote – p. 58 – whatever attitude we bring into a situation will be multiplied.

  164. Debbie Miller says:

    A few years ago the request for a forum for women to ask questions, gain support from others, provide a safe place to lay down your burdens. At this time there was a lot of taps on the shoulder and little nudges from God to begin a women’s group. It has been an amazing time. We have a group of women who hold each accountable and a time together when we can let go of things and lean on the Word of God.

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