When I Don’t Feel Hospitable

“Listen, Love, Repeat” Study Leader, Anna Currin | Proverbs 31 Online Bible Studies | #ListenLoveRepeat #P31OBSHi friends! Wow, I can’t believe we’ve come to the end of week three. I’ve loved leading y’all this week. I know it’s Friday, but don’t check out on me just yet. Let’s finish strong!

So, a year ago in March, my husband and I bought our first home. Before then, we lived in an apartment, then a townhouse. But do you know what? We very rarely had people over!

It wasn’t that we didn’t want people to come over. But more due to my own insecurities that our place wouldn’t provide enough space … and that I didn’t feel “equipped” to host. But I love what Karen Ehman says in Chapter 6 of Listen, Love, Repeat:

“Entertaining puts the emphasis on you and your home and seeks to impress others. In contrast, hospitality puts the emphasis on your guest and seeks to help them feel refreshed, not impressed, when they leave your home.”

Yes, yes and yes! It’s now clear I had a misconstrued idea of what it means to be hospitable. I over-complicated something that’s as simple as “making your guest leave feeling refreshed.” 

Karen has a way of simplifying hospitality that takes the pressure off, doesn’t she? And today’s video is no different! Check it out below. And if you’d like to read the closed captioning as you watch, click here.

If you can’t view the video above, click here to watch on YouTube. Miss any of the past week’s #ListenLoveRepeat videos? You can still catch them below. But don’t forget, these videos will only be available through May 19, so make sure to take advantage while you can!

Lets Chat: 

Is there something that really stood out to you this week from the book, Bible study, or video teachings? Share with us! We love hearing from you. 🙂

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  1. Jennifer says:

    I’ve always been insecure with people coming over. I love that it’s not about me…it’s about giving someone a refreshing moment that maybe they’ve forgotten to take the time for or maybe they don’t feel they have the time for. Thank you for that eye opener!!

    • Proverbs 31 Online Bible Studies Team says:

      A refreshing moment– thanks for pulling this nugget out of the message today Jennifer. Way to go girl. You are a listener

  2. Vicki mowery says:

    I love this lesson i learn a lott through this. Thank you for all.

  3. I usually feel I don’t have enough time to have others over and enable them to feel refreshed because I feel rushed so I’m worried I wouldn’t focus on them enough. Worried about their judgments. Also worried my house or something isn’t good enough because many times I’ll invite others over for get together & many don’t show up. I’m encouraged to invite others more now To share myself & what I can offer to them.

    • Proverbs 31 Online Bible Studies Team says:

      Yay Kendra. So very very glad this message encouraged you. You don’t have to worry. Just keep listening and loving and inviting. People have all kinds of reasons they can’t come. Love on the ones that do come.

  4. Mare Hindall says:

    What stood out to me, was in Karen’s video teaching, she mentioned how to be prepared when company came over. One thing that stuck with me most, was when she said, not to preach to your guests. I have a habit to want to fix things for others. I need to stop and really listen, then pray for them. God has given me a servants heart and to be a prayer warrior. I love doing both for others. And the most memorable takeaway is, that God owns ALL of my stuff. To which, I’m grateful, thankful and blessed.

  5. Monica Archer says:

    I’m always self-concious when I have guests over, but I have realized that when I go to someone’s house I don’t even notice the things I stress about with my own house, like if there are dishes in the sink.

  6. I did the same thing! We had a tiny house & I hated inviting people over bc there was no room. I shouldn’t have let that stop me…..that bracelet is so cute!! 😉

  7. Sandy sawyer says:

    I was always worried my house wasn’t cleaned up enough to hear people over. I have now learned that isn’t as important as being welcoming.

  8. I hesitate to invite people over because we live in the country on a farm. Sometimes the air is unpleasant! It doesn’t bother us but I think others aren’t used to the smell of cow manure.

  9. I’ve been married for 17 years and only just stopped being over critical enough to have people over.

    Now it’s addictive we have someone over nearly every weekend!!

  10. Jennifer says:

    I’m working on remembering that inviting people over isn’t about what they are going to think of my home (is it clean enough or big enough…or what are they going to think of the tornado of kid toys?), but about how I am using what God has blessed me with to reach others. It’s not about me, it’s about refreshing others. That slight shift in focus makes a huge difference in my willingness to work on hospitality. I should also start stocking the panty…I love Karen’s tips on preparing for guests!

  11. Love the book and the Bible study aspect as well! Went through this week and added dates and appointments to remind me of friends that lost loved ones to remember to reach out to them on special occasions

  12. I’ve always worried about my house not being “clean enough” to have others over. But one of the reasons I wanted a house was so I’d have the room for others to come. I’ve been told by friends who have visited that my home is relaxing for them. So I’m going to start inviting again. First person will be my friend from work, I’ve told her in the past that will have a girls night, watch movies and just talk, but I haven’t done it. The next weekend when her son is with his dad, I’m going to plan it. Thanks for the “push”. 🙂

    • Proverbs 31 Online Bible Studies Team says:

      Nancy– inviting again has such a great ring to it. Your friend will be delighted too with the girl time. Thanks for sharing this

  13. The biggest thing that stood out for me this week is that I don’t have to be a grand hostess, which I am definitely not. Little things mean a lot. So I’m praying to find those little things I can do, baby steps.

    • I agree. It’s like you don’t want to let down your guests, but all they really want is to spend time with you.

  14. Donna Morris says:

    I like what Karen said about sharing our stuff. We do not own it,God does. I will open my home and invite people over and will work on stocking the pantry.

  15. Cathy Jimenez says:

    Evidently, God wants me to stretch in this area! ! Lol. I keep running into this same message from other sources as well. Ok Lord!! Let’s move forward together!

    • Proverbs 31 Online Bible Studies Team says:

      Linking arms with you Cathy. The Lord has such a sweet and amazing way of getting our attention. Such great plans he has for you. Such joy in this journey.

  16. Tracy Elphick says:

    Would LOVE the bracelet!

  17. Renee Hedgspeth says:

    My house is the place for all of the holiday meals. Our kids are all grown up with families of thier own. There is always someone extra invited, by them or my husband. The meals are buffet style. You get in where you fit in. We always have a great time. It hasn’t always been that way. I had to grow into it. It used to be stressful for everyone because of me being stressed about everything being just right. No more stress just fun.

  18. Ania Pierre Louis says:

    Reminded Karen words on hospitality reminded me of my parents; they always had people over when I was growing up in my native country. When we came to the US, my mom continue on the same path. I do not yet have my own house. However I am encouraged to follow my mother’s footstep and to not let feeling of inadequacy take over. I want my future home to be a safe haven.

    • Proverbs 31 Online Bible Studies Team says:

      And remember you don’t have to have a house to invite. Meeting for coffee or something fun works too. You are the safe haven. You take it with you where you go. Your mom may have felt inadequate too — especially in a new country. Be encouraged. You have everything you need.

      • Thank you for these words! I have never thought of myself as the safe haven, but I will starting now. The place where people can drop their anchor for a while.

  19. Karrie Perkins says:

    I’m going to stock my pantry!

  20. Shannon McFerren says:

    I would love to be hospitable. My husband loves entertaining. And he’s the first born, type-A personality and a restaurant owner. I am also first born and have had to learn the sweet lesson of submission over my almost 25 years of marriage! LOL! It’s a fine line with him. Most of the time, we do “entertaining”. I pray that he will learn to lean more towards the hospitable mind-set, because that’s where my heart is!! Not to say that we don’t have kids over all the time or people over for dinner, it’s just a struggle. He wants everything perfect and I don’t care as much. It’s that stinking fine line…. God help me! 😁

  21. Sherri Lewis says:

    I worry about my floors, my dogs, not being a good cook, not being clean enough, etc. I like how moving the focus from me to guest and how they feel. I need to do this for sure!

  22. Mary Jo Cyr says:

    What stood out the most to me in this chapter is that being hospitable has nothing to do with us, but has everything to do with serving others in the Name of Jesus. We can serve Him and be hospitable with the gifts God has blessed with us.

  23. Nicholee Lackey says:

    I love having people over. Especially in the summertime for cook outs and swimming. I love to bake for people also. Baking relieves stress in me and I enjoy doing it.

  24. Jennifer Winkler says:

    Love the contrast Karen shows in the difference of entertaining vs. hospitality! I am going to strive to carry out hospitality in a new perspective!

  25. Today

  26. Stephanie says:

    I loved the idea of making other people feel like they are important. I have been around so many other people who do this so well, but I didn’t know how to label it until now. I’m going to strive to make other people feel important.

  27. Love this Bible study. I am learning so much about “hospitality” in the true sense of the word. Making guests feel refreshed, not impressed.

    Thanks to study leaders for their input, the awesome Bible study each week and the video teaching on Friday with Karen Ehman.

  28. Rebekka Maier says:

    I had a potential guest that I would always invite over if she needed it. When it came down to her to take up my offer she had gotten herself in an unsafe situation (cops and restraining order involved) and I was a single mom with three girls. I felt that if she stayed here she was putting us in danger because of the guy she had been dating was physically abusive and after her. I ended up not being able to let her stay because I thought he could hurt us also if he found out where she was staying but I have felt bad about this. I recommended her to stay at a local safe house but she wasn’t happy about the suggestion. I know my actions kept my children safe but she doesn’t talk to me as much as she used to. What do we do in a situation like that? Did I handle this situation inappropriately?

    • Valerie Markham says:

      I don’t think there is a right or wrong answer. I had a similar situation with a friend and let her stay with me but I didn’t have children involved. I think your children’s safety is important and at the time you probably made the right choice. Don’t be too hard on yourself, keep praying for the Lord to give you the right words to say to her and keep reaching out.

  29. This weeks study has been so fun. I love reading your comments and seeing what is jumping out at you as we take this journey together. Thank you all so much for being here!

  30. I have been afraid of entertaining others because it was about me and my house. But now I see should want to offer hospitality which is about my guests! What a simple and beautiful way to think of it! Thanks!! ❤️

  31. Melissa B says:

    I have always felt that if my house wasn’t perfectly cleaned and in order when people came over, they would judge me. I know my mom always does. If it doesn’t pass her inspection, she has something to say. Then I get upset because I have just spent the last few days getting it cleaned. I want to welcome all my guest with open arms and I want them to love coming here to my home. I want them to feel like this is a place to come when you need something you don’t get just anywhere else. I have enjoyed this study. It has really helped.

  32. Stephanie says:

    I can not tell you how many times I had the thought ” if I had this or that, I would invite people over more”.. thank you for this eye opening message:)

  33. Valerie Markham says:

    I loved the chapter about being hospitable. It made me realize that my house doesn’t always have to be in perfect order to have people over. I am excited about the possibilities the mind shift of all that I have belongs to the Lord! I pray He shows me how to use His stuff to do His work!

  34. Janet Wallace says:

    Our Library is having a big event tonight and we are having to put people on a waiting list and I just realized that we need to set a few more tables and invite them in. Good timing for me.

  35. Belinda Eddins says:

    I’d love to win this. This has been a God send study. Thank you.

  36. This book has been full of great reminders and I look forward to continuing with this study.

    • Proverbs 31 Online Bible Studies Team says:

      So glad you are enjoying the study Amy. Can you believe we are wrapping up week 3? Blessings as we continue on together.

  37. Cindi White says:

    Powerful study this week. It’s not about our stuff, it’s about God using us to meet others and point them to Him.
    So I’ll throw something over the old sofa, re-stock the pantry, tidy up a bit, and invite someone in. LORD, thank You for all You have given me. Help me to share You with others.

  38. Michelle says:

    This made me cry because I always say my house isn’t big enough to have people over. It also made me think of my mother-in-law, who always had the coffee on & loved when people stopped over. She is deceased now, so it really made me miss her.

    • Proverbs 31 Online Bible Studies Team says:

      Michelle, your mother-in-law sounds like a wonderful woman. We thank you for sharing your thoughts with us today, as many of us feel the same way about our small homes. Karen reminds us that hospitality is not just about our homes, it is wherever we are! That is a comforting thought!

  39. Thanks for simplifying hospitality. I often forget it’s for our guests and not about me.

  40. In yesterday’s Bible study, 1 Peter 4:8-10 really stood out. Verse 9 says to offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. My job has a multitude of interruptions by individuals coming in and out of my office each day, and I never catch up on emails, paperwork, etc. I need to focus on His agenda, not mine! I need to keep remembering the person that comes before me IS my ministry, not the paperwork and misc. stuff! Instead of grumbling (even if it is in my head), I need to minister!!

  41. couple of things that really stood out for me from this week’s material
    1. it is heart intend….to encourage and have a safe haven for someone to have
    2. to listen and to stop trying to fix things/give advise/hear myself talk….to listen for those heart stop moments
    3. that my apartment is “big enough” for when the time calls for a visit that supports the person in need


  42. SUZIE V. says:

    Is there something that really stood out to you this week from the book, Bible study, or video teachings?

    I think the things that stood out in this lesson was to remember that EVERYTHING comes from God, and I need to praise and thank Him, not just for what he has given me, but for who He is. I also need to remember use what he has given me to bless others, and not keep the blessings all to myself.

    Also, in the Bible Study to go along with this topic, 1 Peter 4:10-Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.

  43. It’s beautiful!

  44. I just love the video awesome,wow some good insights and thank you for sharing now I wont get nervous about having friends over.I sure like the grumbling explanation as it was in original script.

  45. Ashlie Martinez says:

    I am so grateful for this weeks teaching of hospitality. I love to entertain friends and family and I would never want them to feel as though it’s because of my home but out of love for them thank you for providing a teaching on the difference.

  46. Cindy Thomas says:

    Many times over the years my husband and I have been doing a remodeling project, either to repair something or just to increase the value of our house. I’ve always used it as an excuse to postpone having people in my home. I realize that is silly. As long as they stay away from the actual work zone, there’s no harm in letting people see that we are fixer-uppers!

  47. This book and bible study has been so incredibly helpful, eye opening and refreshing to me! Something Karen said in her book that keeps popping up in my head is, “If your heart is big enough, your home will be big enough.” I also have always shyed away from having people over because of my own insecurities, but I want to change that and work on opening up my heart to others so i can open up my home to therm as well! Thank you for the wonderful book and bible study!!

  48. The chapter on grief stood out to me most this week. There were a lot of good tips on how to “be there” for someone but not bother or upset them.

    • Proverbs 31 Online Bible Studies Team says:

      Yes Kyra, supporting a friend through a time of grief can be very tough. We want to help them in whatever way we can but not add to their burdens. Karen sure had some good tips for us. Blessings.

  49. Elizabeth Bates says:

    I have also shied away from having people over to my house. I live in a manufactured home community and still kinda find it embarrassing as compared to a lot of my friends that have nice big brick houses. I guess compared to my friends I feel less than. But, after reading Listen, Love, Repeat and listening to Karen’s videos I don’t feel so much that way anymore. I’m going to no longer put the emphasis on me and my house and instead put the emphasis on my guests and making sure they feel refreshed when they leave my home.

  50. Sarah Schlegel says:

    Hospitality is something that always seems to be lacking for me, because I feel pressure to entertain. How wonderful to be reminded that my job is NOT to entertain, but to provide a space where people can be refreshed when they leave my home, or after spending time with me. Hospitality of the heart is as important as hospitality in one’s home.

  51. I am finding that this book. . .esp. with the endearing stories of extending unexpected love in tender places. . .creates a magic that translates our love for one another and makes being a maker of magic not so difficult with God as the source. Even though it requires paying attention and a willingness to sacrifice. . .the sacrifice is so worth the magic of touching a hurting soul in a way that says I was listening and you are so very worth my efforts. And when you consider your work is for God’s glory. . .it kind of takes the pressure off in a sense and makes the outcome His work of hearts.

  52. The thing that has stood out to me the most is the verse, “Use hospitality one to another and without grudging.” I, like Melissa Taylor stated in her Bible Study this week don’t usually gripe out loud, but I do inwardly sometimes. Maybe reaching out to others in hospitality can sometimes be inconvenient, which is when I find myself complaining on the inside. I want God to help me to not gripe and complain when He calls me to reach out with hospitality to others… I want to be a cheerful giver of myself and resources that God has given me. Lord, help me to not complain and gripe when you give me an opportunity to reach out to others in love. Amen.

  53. Tina Rutley says:

    Wow this sure hits home. I didn’t like it when people were coming over. We live in a mobile home and it’s not very big. Always felt I didn’t have enough room to entertain. I was lacking hospitality and didn’t want to entertain. What a reminder to no matter how big or small your house is we are to provide a space for people to be refreshed when they leave my home. I am learning so much from this bible study. Thank you for the wonderful book.

  54. Teri Fox says:

    Thank you for clarifying the difference between entertaining and hospitality. It makes it so much more relaxing when you put your focus in the right place.

    • Proverbs 31 Online Bible Studies Team says:

      Your welcome Teri. That is a big take away from this week’s reading. Thank you!

  55. I am learning so much about myself through this bible study. I now realize the difference between hospitality and entertainment. I so want to be that person who can drop everything for a friend who drops in unannounced or be able to reach out to others with little notes/gifts to let them know I am thinking of them. I am learning to rearrange my thinking and priorities so that I can be the person that God wants me to be. Thank you for this awesome study

  56. When we had people over everything always had to be perfect. Thank you for showing that it was entertaining not hospitality. I remember a friend had stopped over one time and the house was a mess and she told me not to worry about it. Well I did worry about it and started cleaning up. It ruined the visit. Now I know why. Thank you for this study. Been very helpful especially remembering special dates of those are grieving.

    • Kathy, me too. In the past I used to worry so much about the appearance of my home or providing the perfect snacks that I totally missed the visit. Not any more. I am tired of trying to be perfect and enjoy people so much more!!!

  57. Bethany Swartz says:

    Love that bracelet!! So cute!

  58. I love having people over at my place! It is hard to have people over and not think about how your house looks like from the inside. I live with my grandma, who doesn’t always have the energy to entertain people, but as much as I would like to invite everyone, I can only invite one or two. I have to admit, sometimes I hold back because my place is not big enough or if my grandma feels well to have someover.

  59. Jamie L Hitt says:

    I am learning so much in this study. Things that i’ve missed doing and that are so easy to pick and start doing again once you stop feeling sorry for yourself! Thank you so much!

    • Proverbs 31 Online Bible Studies Team says:

      We are so happy that you are learning and growing with this study Jamie! Blessings as you continue you on.

  60. This week was so good with so many nuggets. But the one thing that has made the biggest impact on me was Tuesday’s Bible Study of Romans 12. Right from the start, Paul tells us to not conform to the patterns of this world. Well what do I do most days? Conform to the patterns of this world. This was God’s hand hitting me in the back of the head saying, “Did you hear that Missy? Did you get what I just told you? If not, read it again and again.” Ok Lord, I will read it again and again, put it to memory and add it to my daily prayers.

  61. I have always been uncomfortable entertaining. I think because I always feel not good enough. I know I’m a child of God but I don’t always feel that way. I love caring for others and doing things for others but I always seem to get hurt. I wanted to try and start a Bible study where I live for the ladies in the park but when I talk to them about it they either say no or ignore me.

  62. I remember a time ago that one of my dearest friend came over to our new home, she said I like this house so much better than your last home, it is more like a home. I said what do you mean she stated that my past home was to much like a showcase not not like a home and she was uncomfortable coming over she just never felt comfortable. Since then I realized she was right and I have tried to make sure that my home is more inviting and comfy with no stress to my guest to feel as tho they cannot be themselves. So for me this section really hit home and made me think about my friend and when she helped me realize the difference between entertaining and hospitality.

  63. Karen Harding says:

    I love the contrast between “entertaining” and “hospitality”, have to work on hospitality more!!!

  64. I used to have people over often, but became tired of all the work and my inability to sit down and enjoy time spent with them.
    I looking towards having people over again, but in smaller groups so the time together can bless us all.
    I really need to work at not being overcome by how my house looks too🙄

  65. Elissa Mowery says:

    One think that stood out to me is always be prepared for people to come over. However, everyone wants us to go throw house, not ours!

    But, also, what do you do when you barely have enough money to feed your own family?

  66. I love this chapter! I always felt “stuck” hosting holidays and birthday parties – I don’t feel comfortable doing them at all. It used to be that I felt I don’t measure up – my dining wear isn’t fancy or matched (and often I use paper/disposable for a crowd!), my house is old and needs work (and it’s always a little messy), my cooking isn’t fancy or even amazingly tasty (just average) – all these things used to bother me. But I’ve learned over the years, and I’m still working on it, it’s not about the presentation but about my presence that matters most. If I can make my guests feel welcome and comfortable, that goes a long way further than looking good. This book has been such an encouragement to me to change my attitude about loving others! Thank you so much!

  67. “If there’s room in your 💓, then there’s room in your 🏡”….need to focus more on hospitality vs entertaining!

  68. Bailey Wright says:

    This stood out to me, because I often feel like our space isn’t “pretty” or “big” enough to have people over as well. I think my fear of rejection or feeling like I’m being judged overtakes my joy of having friends and family over!

  69. My motto, “if you come to see me, come anytime….but if you come to see my house, make an appointment!”

  70. I loved the “If there is room in your heart, there is room in your house.”

  71. This lesson has made me look at having people over at my house differently. I am always worried my house isn’t good enough, big enough or clean enough. Now I’ll try to be less concerned about my house and more concerned about making people feel welcomed.

  72. Elizabeth Smith says:

    I think the biggest thing I learned this week is that it doesn’t matter how big my house isn’t or how much fancy stuff I do t have or how super clean my house isn’t that I need to be concerned with, but how much my guests feel welcome.
    I’m beginning to see why I don’t have many guests, because before they get here I’m rushing around cleaning and cooking them while they are here I see things that need to be put away or something and apologizing for how the house looks that I am not spending time with THEM and listening to THEM. I am thinking of everything that is wrong with my house or my life and not being the host who is HAPPY they came to see me.
    This spoke very much on my heart and I realize now how wrong I have been.
    I a changing how I am by always being prepared for guest. Keeping the living room picked up and not having things sitting around waiting to be taken upstairs. Child proofing my house so my children bring their children to Grandma’s house and not have to stress about meds or things that could harm them or get broke. I want those who come to my house to KNOW I thought of them before they got there and I am HAPPY they came to my house.

  73. This week was really interesting to me because since I’m in college, I don’t yet own my own place. However I felt that this week provided excellent tips with regards to practical ways you can show love to others through hospitality. My favorite quote was “What happens to our materials while they are here on Earth being used to build his kingdom is not my concern. My concern should be with my attitude toward using these things to reach out to others.

  74. Cherie Turner Repp says:

    So thankful for all of the ways this study has changed my perspective about the way I live my life and learning so many practical, simple ways to scatter love along the way!!

  75. I loved how Karen gives us practical ways to love and serve others . For example I realized I had been trying too hard to entertain others rather than showing hospitality and honestly , I’m relieved after listening to the video teaching because well , I’m just not great at entertaining others . I can show hospitality well though . Thank you for teaching in such a way that is encouraging and equally practical .

  76. Thanks for giving us this opportunity to win.

  77. I think Karen wrote Chapter 6 for me! I am not fond of ‘entertaining’…glad to hear that I should be offering hospitality, not entertainment. I worry that my house is not clean enough, my serving pieces are not fancy enough, I don’t use chargers for my plates (which I did not even know what a charger was until my daughter-in-law had them on the wedding gift registry!) I will try not to “grumble” and will instead try to just open my home more to others. I always enjoy the time we spend together, it is the preparation that gets to me (Guess that would be my ‘Martha” side coming out.

  78. Entertaining puts emphasis on me and impressing. Hospitality puts the emphasis on the guest and helping them feel refreshed.

  79. Kristy Erdahl says:

    What really stood out to me today in the video was the scripture 1Peter 4:9 “Offer Hospitality to one another without grumbling” Wow do I really need so work in this area of my life. I do not always show my grumbling, like Karen said, I tend to whisper under my breath. It’s not that I don’t like to have people over but I have some OCD issues that I need to overcome and just let GOD be there and move and stop worrying how things are or how I might think they need to be in order to serve God.
    God Bless everyone at Proverbs31!

    • Proverbs 31 Online Bible Studies Team says:

      Thank you Kristy. Wonderful thoughts in your comment. Having people in your home can be overwhelming. Letting God in and turning it over to Him will certainly bring us peace. 🙂

  80. Mary Weiss says:

    I used to host at our home often, but became tired of all the work and my inability to sit down and visit.
    I am now thinking I would like to have people over again, perhaps in smaller more intimate gatherings
    I told my husband I plan to start keeping , at least the main floor of our house clean so we could have impromptu guests
    I was reading two of Karen’s books at the same time Doing Lent together and Love Listen Repeat
    Both are full of solid teachings combined with humor. Just love your writing, Karen

  81. Beth Durrant says:

    What really made an impression on me is the sad fact that I am more of an entertainer. I’m always makIng sure the house is perfect, the places are set, just that everythIng is just so… when I really shouldn’t stress about those things and focus more on my guests. I’m more worried about living up to what I think their standards would be that I miss out on visiting and enjoying my company. I’m sure they really don’t care if the house is perfect or the food is over the top fancy. I really need to step back when having friends and family over and stop trying to impress and just be in the moment. I know they are not that shallow to judge me on all the things are created in my own mind as just having to be so.

  82. My house is really small, we have 4 kids and often it is just dirty! I try to keep up but with working full time, running a side business and having kids ages 4 – 15 it really can wear me out. I just can’t do it all. So my main problems in being hospitable are embarrassed of the size and state of my home, as well as being so tired I tend to get too annoyed when people pop up to visit. I always say it is a “pet peeve” of mine to have people come over without calling first. This book has really helped me realize that is just not the spirit God wants me to have about company, especially when people need a friend and I may not know or care or understand what they are going through. I have to start preparing my heart as a home. Clean out all that negative outlook, the annoyance, the not caring and really prepare my heart better for Jesus and others. Then prepare my home. I want Jesus in our home and I want our friends to come over and feel they have a safe place to be with people who truly care and love them. I know my size and state of my home matters more to me than them, so I really have got to get over that piece and just try to be as prepared as I can to welcome uninvited guests, angels, friends and Jesus. Thank you so much this has forced me to be very HONEST and really start working on my heart and home.

  83. Darcy Swick says:

    What a great couple days reading these chapters. I have not been entertaining much and I do put the emphasis on my home. I need to change my focus and be hospitable to others and share my faith .

  84. Thank you for this. I do not get the opportunity to have people over but when I do I feel they are judging my home. I do not like to hear comments about how much stuff I have in my life or how junky my house looks.I enjoy my antiques cause it reminds me of my adventures. I want people to come over and feel good but then I feel all they do is judge. So I just do not invite them over any more. I do invite my friends because they understand me and they appreciate me, flaws and all. They come over and enjoy me and my family not judge me, for that I am so thankful. I need to be reminded that I do it for fun not to be judged.

    • Proverbs 31 Online Bible Studies Team says:

      Tracy, people can be hurtful at times. Please don’t let that keep you from sharing your wonderful treasures and adventures with others. What interesting stories are contained in your antiques! Thank you for sharing with us.

  85. I love the statement putting the emphasis on hospitality not entertaining…that has been my issue for years. I think if we nourish someone and they leave feeling loved we have achieved our goal.

  86. Thank you for the giveaway. This has been a great study.

  87. We are often too critical of our homes. If someone needs a shoulder to cry on, she likely isn’t checking your corners for dust. If we can focus on what we have to give, it’s easier to be a blessing.

  88. Candice Cook says:

    Thank you for this bible study! I’m looking forward to the ones to follow.

  89. I love all the practical and simple ways to extend hospitality. I’m embarrassed that I don’t practice these more often but I’m definitely going to work on that!

  90. I love this study. Karen helps me feel like my old hand me down furniture is good enough for company. It’s so easy to get wrapped up in entertaining rather than hospitality. I endeavor now with Gods blessing to be more hospitable.

  91. I love having friends and family over for special events or just for a coffee session. I use to get all worked up about it, trying to have my home just right. As time went on (years) I realized that my guests are there for the company and to de-stress themselves from their every day chaos. I always think of Mary and Martha as well…am I enjoying my guests and making them feel relaxed or am I trying to keep things on point.

  92. We were just talking about hospitality at church. I was reminded about how stressed I was at a Christmas dinner because my silverware did not match! No one cared!! I will be practicing hospitality more!! Thank you!

  93. Oh THis really h it home. I have always felt insecure to have guest over to my home, let alone, drop-ins! I have always felt my house was not clean enough, I didn’t have time to sit and talk etc. This week, I have decided to stop thinking like that. IT all belongs to God and its not about me but about my guests!!

    • Proverbs 31 Online Bible Studies Team says:

      Amen! Such positive words Shelia. May we all worry less about the cleaning and more about God and His people. Thank you. 🙂

  94. Terri Duncan says:

    Yes! I think the thing that really stood out to me was being prepared. I am always thinking about not having anything ready to go etc but if I would just slow down and prepare I would feel so much better about inviting people over. Something so simple…thank you ❤️

  95. D Sue Maisonneuve says:

    Loved this chapter especially the difference between entertaining and hospitality. Food for thought!

  96. This chapter was just for me. For years I felt my home was never good for anyone to come over and visit let alone a Bible study. My husband is a great teacher of the word and has always wanted to host a Bible study at home, but I always a reason as to why we could not! Now I see from this week’s study I really don’t have a reason….. I am hoping that some day we will be able to host a study in our home. It will take me awhile to find out if I really could do this or not.
    Right now I am going thought some other things in life and I am trying to work on those. I loss my job in Jan of this year, in a very sad way. Our CEO of our company took his life, in doing that a lot of people were out of work because the bank took the business over. I was 26 years and left the company with 3 boxes, now at my age looking for a job is very hard. But with all that happening in my life I found more time to be my Bible studies and read God’s word which has helped me so much……
    I guess this has nothing to do with the chapter this week, but just to let you all know I love all of you Bible studies and they help me so much…..Thank-you all …….

  97. Shelley Goossen says:

    There were so many things that stood out this week! I don’t own my stuff, there is a difference between Entertaining and Hospitality! When someone is hurting, being present, or just sitting there with them without saying a word, maybe is what that person needs! We make things so hard today when it’s really simple! I don’t have to have over the top decorations or serving plates! It could be as simple as I call “fine China,” paper plates will do just fine. One time I went over to a friends house and she told me “oh excuse my house” and I told her I didn’t come over to see your house, I came to see you!

  98. It really is the simple things in life that can bring the greatest joy to others. A special meal, just being with someone and listening for those heart drops. not trying to fix but offering a place to be safe and refreshed.

  99. Shirleen Holmes says:

    Loving this bible study;
    Light bulb moment, there’s a huge difference between entertaining and hospitality!!
    This weekend I will choose to concentrate on HOSPITALITY, invite, welcome and love with simplicity!!

  100. Karon Fluharty says:

    Wow, these chapters were packed with great lessons. MY greatest takeaways was the difference between entertaining and hospitality. Additionally, being in the moment with those who grief. Listen and be there for them long after most folks have moved on. Karen’s lesson noting that “God owns our STUFF” resonated with me. I’ve had lots of kids over, experienced the dirty towels, and messes, but now I’m a little more reserved in being hospitable. Hearing how we need to open our hearts and homes has given me a better perspective on it. Thank you Karen for sharing GOD’s words and “command” to live loved and share that love!

  101. Ashley Wright says:

    This week reminded me that my home is a mess (apartment). I’m an introvert by nature – so having folks over is not something I really look forward to doing. I think right now (for me at least) -just starting by inviting my friends over (no one comes over – I didn’t want anyone over the three years in law school or the year taking the bar – too over-stressed already) once I clean the apartment (I’m going in an out of town to help my father who’s going to pass away likely this year and I just finished the bar exam in February…where did the time go?).

  102. Kasi Bussiere says:

    I am someone who doesn’t typically invite others over, I am always worried about how my apartment looks. I see mess, toys on the floor, a clothes waiting to be folded and clutter. I worry about what any company would think if they came over and I also worry if I’m invited to someone else’s home. I am always afraid of how much my kids will act out. I agree some of the other comments, when I go to someone’s house and they apologize for a mess and I don’t see a mess. I am my own worst critic and that is something I am working on.

  103. Chapter 6 really hit home with me. I find that my door is always open to teens and young adults. I am not concerned over the “condition of my home” with them. They don’t care. I am much more guarded with people my own age…I stress over being judged. I had a friend call to say they were near by (they live 90 min away) could they just drop in…They apologized because they knew there was not time to straighten up…but my response to them was…you are like family, I am not concerned with the clutter with you guys. Then I ready Chapter 6…Hmmm…shouldn’t that be my response to everyone?

    Was also struck with the bible study question of What is hospitality to you? I answered this BEFORE I read the chapter. I answered entertaining and having an open door….yep…entertaining..ugh. That also goes with the people my own age. I just love on the young adults that swing through…but I feel the need to entertain (perform) for my peers. Man…is there room for God to work in me! 🙂

  104. I too felt that the following quote from the book stood out to me:

    “Entertaining puts the emphasis on you and your home and seeks to impress others. In contrast, hospitality puts the emphasis on your guest and seeks to help them feel refreshed, not impressed, when they leave your home.”

    I love hosting but so many times I find myself much more focused on the “Entertaining” part versus the “hospitality” part. I need to focus on making my guests feel refreshed when they leaved and being more opened for the impromptu visits even though my house may not be perfectly in order.

  105. I grew up my mom being a hoarder. That’s so hard and I made a promise when I moved out and never looked back to have an inviting, peaceful home and now with the pool and neighbors our home has become a mecca of activity and I love to cook and entertain.

  106. I need to remember showing love ans kindness isnt related to where I live it is how I live and how I show love and care about them.

  107. Justamom says:

    Hello.. I’m still trying to get caught up on reading the book as well as the Bible Study. I’m writing today because the entire week before this study was to start, I felt God nudging at my heart strings to join this study.
    However I am also in school and have a kid at home that just had surgery this week on his foot and is hobbling around on crutches. My life is crazy busy. Today I watched some of Karen’s videos and read in my book, and felt so mortally ashamed. And then I had a fight with my stepson over food I had saved for his brother, that I caught him with. Let me explain. For the past 5 years, I have been basically raising my husband’s kids alone. My husband is seldom home and their mother hit the road once she was kid free moving thousands of miles away. When my stepsons moved in, they had lived with absolutely no discipline. Therefore they and I tend to butt heads often. They lack consideration for others and seem to look out only for themselves. I have tried to teach them life skills I feel they need to know, but it seems to no avail. Last year the two eldest sons who’d been living with their mother, moved back here bringing girlfriends and even one girl’s children. My home was crowded. I felt so overwhelmed. I would cook dinner and they’d eat everything in sight, even the leftovers I had saved for my husband. I tried to be hospitable but it left me so empty, feeling alone and very frustrated. But I knew this was something God called me to do… I’m just not so good at it, especially when I leave God out of the equation. For instance I had major surgery last year, and really just wanted to be alone. To rest alone. I didn’t want people in my kitchen cooking it doing my laundry so that stressed me out. Even though everyone extra moved out by Thanksgiving, and it became quiet here again. I still feel like I have to try on a daily basis to be who God is calling me to be. My biggest problem is im dealing with mouthy teens who think they don’t have to listen… As I’m writing this I feel God quietly whispering that it’s not about me, it’s about him. Now, back to why I argued with my stepson today. He is a recent high school graduate with no real ambition. He lays in his room all day playing on his devices and eats constantly. I had hid a couple of burritos for the youngest kid who was at school so he’d have them for an afternoon snack, because that was the only kind he likes. There was a whole new package for the other boys in a kind they like. So when I walked in and saw him with his brothers food, I let my mouth take over when i should have just stopped and listened. I’m diving into the rest of the book today.. and praying for grace because I had a mad mama moment…

    • Jenny Mullen says:

      Sounds like you are having a rough time. As a sister momma who also gets frustrated and says things she shouldn’t in tones she shouldn’t use to her children, it happens. God charged us with taking care of these kiddos…whether they are babies or grown. He charged us with this, and He didn’t do it expecting us to be perfect at it. I’ve had those momma moments when I am overwhelmed with shame. But God reminds me of a couple things…#1 when I have those moments, He’s the one I go running to…after I have a good cry or a large piece of chocolate…and this makes my relationship with Him grow. #2 Lamentations 3: 22-23 reminds us of this: “Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” God gives us a restart every morning. He will never give up on us and He will not waste our struggles. He has the power to renew us everyday! I pray for you and that God continues to guide your motherhood journey! God’s blessings on your household!

  108. Thank you for this Bible Study. I’m working at being a better listener and less at trying to fix everything. I’m working at building a better stash of little gifts and finding it fun! Thank you, Karen!

  109. Brenda Chambers says:

    Just watched the Session 3 video, the best message on hospitality I’ve ever heard! Slayed my heart! I shared the YouTube version on Facebook, but it doesn’t present with a picture.

  110. Jenny Mullen says:

    Hello ladies! I just love all of these tips on how I can work on my hospitality. I loved today in the video where Karen taught us that it isn’t just a nice thing to do, it’s a way for us to be obedient to God and His Word! I think that is so awesome! I love it! Have a great weekend! Love and blessings!

  111. bertha frey says:

    your Stuff spoke to me i guess in a different way. my husband passed away 2+ years ago after 57+ years.of marriage. one of the hardest things for me is what to do with everything because it makes me feel like i am throwing him away. As i go through my house i wonder what am i going to do with all the other Stuff i have in the attic and everywhere.this spoke to my heart today ,strongly. our church is having an indoor yard sale to help fund our Panther Pack Program some items i have never used and should i keep it or give away. since it belongs to God i am convinced i am to give to our project. thanks for helping me know what God wants me to do!

  112. I needed this week’s material. Sometimes I am so concerned with having a clean house, that I neglect to be a host and miss out on blessing others. I need to lead as God directs. I don’t think having the “perfect” house matters as much as I feel it does.

  113. Leanna Hagen says:

    I’ve been blessed just hearing the affirmation that it’s okay to extend hospitality in a 900-square ft. living area! We’ve been to so many other parties throughout our 34 years of marriage where the host had so much more than we did, and it did intimidate us. But the things we heard coming back to us from families who had visited in our household with us were always so encouraging. Our five children are mostly grown and out of the home now, and it is time for my loving husband and I to slow down a bit, but we both still have QUITE a full pantry as well as a full freezer in case company calls. Y’all are welcome to visit us any time here in sunny San Jose, California!! 🙂 If you have any kiddos, bring them along!! This Grandmother is well stocked with little one activities and LOADS OF LOVE!!!

  114. The biggest takeaway I had this week was the opening of ourselves, whether it is at home, in a coffee shop, or wherever, we are opening ourselves to being obedient to God. We can be the ‘safe haven’ for others! So love this!!

  115. To Live Alert!!!!

  116. I really enjoyed the story of Ruth and this weeks verse lock screen, I saved to my phone and when the kids seen it wanted to know what it meant I enjoyed telling them all about our bible study

  117. I have really enjoyed learning the GRIEF acronym this week. If has helped me to see what others need. Especially that sometimes they just need me to be there and listen. Or to do something without asking, just taking initiative.

  118. Lynnette says:

    The one thing that stood out the most to me from the book in this week’s reading was the following:
    “Entertaining puts the emphasis on you and your home and seeks to impress others. In contrast, hospitality puts the emphasis on your guest and seeks to help them to feel refreshed, not impressed,when they leave your home.”

  119. Carmencita Abellana says:

    Get out of the salt shaker.

  120. What stood out to me this week is that I can be hospitable even with a small apartment. I took copious notes on this chapter. I absolutely loved it!!! I am going to use what I learned ASAP!

    • Proverbs 31 Online Bible Studies Team says:

      So glad that you enjoyed this chapter. It has touched so many people and helped us all to shift our focus from our homes and stuff to our guests. Thank you for sharing Sarah!

  121. Love this!! I recently stepped outside of my comfort zone and we began hosting a community group through our church.

  122. Suzanne Weatherford says:

    Is there something that really stood out to you this week from the book, Bible study, or video teachings?
    There was several things as I read the book and listened to Karen’s video. First it was the sharing and I was okay with it for a while. Share my clothes, okay. Share food, okay. Give away things I make, okay. But to share my sewing machine? UHG! that’s my tool so I can sew. Give my car keys over to someone else? UHG! Thats my independence, my freedom – Oh Lord! The next thing that was enlightning was the difference between “entertaining” and “hospitality” WOW! that was learning something new and then to follow with it being a command “without grumbling” (and what grumbling and murmering really mean. I knew we were not suppose to complain out loud but even when it is under my breathe or in my mind and heart with my mouth closed? WOW). And the last thing on my jotted down notes is a reminder that “I don’t have to FIX their problems” this is a biggy as I tend to want to fix other peoples problems and make everything right again. I let out a sigh of releif when I read this and then heard it again from Karen. WOW! My job is to just listen, act on heart drops and pray? I can can do this much easier than trying to fix their problems and be anxious over what to tell (preach) to them and when they don’t take my advise get upset again. Oh Lord, really all you want from me is to just listen, act on heart drops and pray? Next week is going to be tough. Loniness and grouchy cranky people. As a caregiver these are realities in my life and so I am going to go through this reading with an open heart for the Lord to speak to me. Thank you for the teaching of this week. Even though I can not be open the home I live in; I can be hospitable. I will call a friend with kids and try to meet for a short time at the park – thanks for that idea.

    • Proverbs 31 Online Bible Studies Team says:

      Thank you for sharing with us today Suzanne. You reminded us all that hospitality can go beyond our homes. We love your idea of going to the park. Blessings.

  123. I loved the ideas you gave for people who are going thru grief in particular the idea about remembering their loved ones out loud and inviting them along

  124. Christy G. says:

    I keep thinking about the difference between entertaining and hospitality. I LOVE this distinction. I’m not good at entertaining – I don’t care enough about decorating, etc. But I do LOVE inviting others over to have a good time together. I’d like to think that I do a decent job at hospitality. Definitely something to think about and work on more consciously.

  125. I have read all the comments and it is comforting to know that almost everyone has the same concerns that I do – my house is to messy, or too small, or I have to be busy when guests are over to make sure everything is perfect. And if that is true for most of us, then it is probably true for our guests too! Knowing they probably have the same insecurities makes it easier to look at myself. And the reminder that we should be hospitable not an entertainer is perfect. And I love the bracelet1

  126. I love reading about how to open your place to people!! I love this book!!

  127. I would love to feel more comfortable having people over, however I fear they will not feel comfortable in my home. I have cats and I keep the litter box immaculate but I have this fear people will still smell.it. Also we had some neighbors who moved out and others that moved in and ever since we have been dealing with a bug problem. We have had exterminator out numerous times and to no avail. I am embarrassed to have people come in. My house is super clean but then you see those bugs and I fear people judging me.

  128. SandraAnn Clark says:

    The quote Karen speaks about entertaining being about us and hospitality being about the guest helps me refocus putting things back into perspective. I am able to get back to why I enjoy having people in my home. I have prayed a simple prayer over our home for years that people would see it as a safe haven and a refuge the moment they enter. However, I had gotten too caught up in being Martha instead of being Mary. I will be working on 1 Peter 4:9

  129. I don’t feel equipped to have people over. I’m not a cook, we have several dogs. I wil definitely pray on this because it’s what wants us to do.

    • Proverbs 31 Online Bible Studies Team says:

      We understand your concerns Tere. One comforting thing that Karen reminded us of is that we can show our hospitality in other ways, like taking someone out for coffee or listening to a friend as you drive to the store together. May God give you direction and peace.

  130. I am blessed to have a home where I can offer a calm, quiet place for anyone who needs it. When I was widowed at 52, I decided that the home the Lord provided for me after I left our family home, would always be available for His glory. I currently co-host a weekly faith -based support group in this home and I feel blessed each time someone thanks me for my hospitality. All I have comes from Him, so sharing it seems natural.

  131. Patricia Williams says:

    It’s my birthday; it’s my Birthday; it’s my BIRTHDAY. . . ! ! !

  132. Teresa Carstens says:

    This chapter was so timely. I had friends over today and instead of stressing over how my house looked (it was picked up well but had been a few days since I’d thoroughly cleaned) I just focused on enjoying our time together. Such a difference!

  133. Rachelle Q says:

    I liked the grief tips and the how to on how to make your home a haven.

  134. Terri Septer says:

    I love having company over to my home! But, I do usually clean up more when I know ppl are coming by! Enjoying this #ListenLoveRepeat bible study! Thanks to all y’all who help keep us on track!!

  135. Sharon Cunningham says:

    Love the concept of hospitality. I think many women refrain from inviting people to their home because of the “less that perfect” house. This changed my perspective!

    • Proverbs 31 Online Bible Studies Team says:

      You are so right Sharon. Thank you to Karen for helping to change our perspective on hospitality. And thank you for sharing with us. Have a great day!

  136. Sharon Cunningham says:

    Happy Birthday Patricia!!!!

  137. Rebecca Greene says:

    I can’t get image of entertainment vs hospitality out of my mind. The home I grew up in was not fancy but everyone loved coming to my house because of the way my mother made them feel. It didn’t hurt she was a good cook too! Likewise, our teenage daughter felt we made our home the place to be not because it was immaculate but because it was relaxed. And I know the best take outs in town! Just wanted to thank my mother for showing me how to demonstrate radical hospitality.

    • Proverbs 31 Online Bible Studies Team says:

      Rebecca, you had an awesome role model. We are thankful you have follower her footsteps. Blessings!

  138. Lisa M Gonzalez says:

    This was really touching to my heart. It reminded me of a co-worker. This individualstarted a few months prior back in 2006-2007. For some reason I’d find myself Observing them from time to time. One day some people stopped by our job to sell pictures. Well I seen one I liked that reminded me of purity. I liked it to hang in my bathroom. I was carrying it and they walked along side as we were heading out home after work. I felt prompted to say something but didn’t pursue.I wished I had! Low and behold was not to long after one day when he came into our department and said goodbye and after that weekend we come back to work and found that he had passed. I understand how you must of felt. Love one another is to reach out when God gives us that little tap to do so. We may fall. But get back up and Listen, Love and Repeat as much as we can.

    • Proverbs 31 Online Bible Studies Team says:

      Lisa, it is so hard to learn a lesson the hard way. But yes, get back up and Listen, Love, and Repeat. Blessings!

  139. I absolutely adore this bracelet! What a lovely gift it makes!

  140. being in transition has been hard for me. I am still trying to set up my house. Thing is it shouldn’t matter about the mess. I can still open my home to others.

  141. I am learning how to let my guard down and open my heart and my home to others as a way to share Christ’s love. I am so grateful to now understand the difference between putting the focus on me and my home, and instead putting it on my guests and their needs. Thank you so much for this study.

    • Proverbs 31 Online Bible Studies Team says:

      Jenn, we are so glad you are enjoying this study and getting a lot from it. Blessings

  142. Entertaing and hospitality are different. Also to remember that all things comw from God. Use them to his glory and don’t worry so much about what happens to them.

  143. Entertaining was something my husband and I used to do a lot, and I always disliked people in my kitchen, but over the years I learned to share my home,, and kitchen, and this lesson today shows me that it really wasn’t mine it all was Gods.

  144. I love this chapter about hospitality. I often have people to our house I love entertaining. But always in the past I have really focused on getting my house just right and I stressed over to the point of becoming anxious because I didn’t have enough time or because things were perfect. But in the last few months I really just slow down and thought you know what the stuff can wait I just need to spend time with my friends. And the times that we spent it’s been so lovely. . And I’ve often felt a little slighted because the invitations are always returned but after reading this I realize that some people just don’t have the gift of hospitality but they have other fabulous gifts that I need to focus more on

    • Proverbs 31 Online Bible Studies Team says:

      Carrie, thanks for sharing. It is so true that we all have different gifts. So enjoys the gifts of your friends.

  145. I really don’t have problems sharing my possessions, its the having people over that seems to be my issue. I always feel like I should have my home just perfect, should have something baked, I don’t know…..its not that I don’t want to because I do. As a child we never had any company , rather dysfunctional, and never had friends over, hard to overcome I suppose. However I am going to try, I can do all things through Christ 🙂

  146. I tutor children in my home after school. I’ve never had a problem welcoming children and doing all that I can to create a relaxing atmosphere. Inviting my friends, even family, makes me anxious. Hearing and realizing that it isn’t about entertaining, but welcoming is a refreshing eye-opener! I’ll be working in this one!

  147. One of my gifts is hospitality but over the last couple of years I have been squashing this gift that God has given me to expand His Kingdom and be a light to the world. I had been ignoring the leading of the Spirit. Enter this Bible Study!! Thank you for being obedient to the Lord with sharing what He has been teaching you so that you could share with the rest of us. This study has been a true blessing and I thank God for bringing it to me.

  148. I loved the story of Ruth. It came up again at church Wednesday night. I plan to dig deeper into it this weekend. Love Karen and her wisdom.

  149. Melissa H. says:

    I think what I struggle with most is not acting as soon as God tugs at my heart. Instead of thinking, “Well the house is a mess, I don’t have proper food, the dog needs a bath and I’m just soooo tired today…” I need to change my attitude and act to invite that person over, or bring a group together, at my home. Under my roof. And provide that genuine hospitality and ‘ear’ for those who need it most in that moment. If God believes I am enough in that moment to help, I want to act quickly and help without putting too much through and worry into it.

  150. Recognizing the difference between entertaining and hospitality has blessed my heart this week. I love “entertaining” with also wanting those guests to leave feeling blessed, but I need to really understand that loving my guests as Christ would, is the real “why” of entertaining. It really should never be about me, but about serving and caring like He would. I want to exchange entertainment for hospitality, for loving and serving people just like Christ would. I need to focus on the real reason that I started to entertain and what I really want the experience to be for others- feeling God’s blessing when they leave. I walked into a Christian bookstore this week, and sitting on a table was some lightweight teashirts the say “it’s not about me, it’s about Him’.

  151. Caralyn Taylor says:

    Melissa’s story and suggestion about a box of personalized scriptures touched me. I am making one for my nephew who feels overlooked and picked on. Thank you ladies for all the blessings you have spoken to me this week!🌷

    • Proverbs 31 Online Bible Studies Team says:

      That is so thoughtful of you Caralyn, to make this for your nephew. It will bless him in so many ways. 🙂

  152. Juanita Pattico says:

    I absolutely loved chapter 6! I was once told that people rarely notice whether your house is clean and organized if they feel welcome! They notice it more when you say something like, “Excuse my messy house”, rather than just focusing on them and making them feel comfortable and welcome. Since they told me that, I try not to say anything about my house being messy or dirty, but instead focus on them and making them feel welcome!

    • Proverbs 31 Online Bible Studies Team says:

      This is such good advice Juanita. We thank you for sharing with us today. Have a blessed day!

  153. Willingly sharing my stuff. I share but sometimes I have conditions, like you can borrow it. I’m worried about what will happen to my things or worried about inviting certain people over because I don’t want my house left a mess. I pray that I could have the mindset of Jesus when it comes to my stuff knowing that it isn’t really mine, it’s His. One thing I do love to share with other people is food. I love to cook! I’m a better baker than a cook, but I absolutely love blessing people through the food I cook. I heard a heart drop this week and I’m going to bless a friend and her family with a meal at their home so she can just enjoy that time with her family. I’m eager to learn so much more from this study!

  154. i love chapter 6…1peter 4:10….i catch myself wondering why i have to help people or family that dont want to help themselves…God has given you so much….i really need to check myself out …i’m a gift God has given to share with others what i have…that special gift he has given me to share his message i still find myself questioning why …sometimes….not all the times but with certain people…i pray in his glorious name to help me conquer thru this…I often use the scripture…For they do not know what they do….but now reading this i come to realize i too need to understand the whys…

  155. I am generous with what God has given me but I am a work in progress for sure. Loving is easier for me one on one and in other circumstances as opposed to the one I have. But convicted convicted I am Jesus loves right now so why do I need to get past any hurdles in my own mind??? In His grace I am asking in His grace. Amen

  156. Melanie c says:

    I have six children so at times its hard to open the doors to the world here. I always feel inadequate, whether its because I don’t have “fancy starbucks coffee” or I don’t have “fresh homebaked cookies” or if its because my dishes aren’t done from the night before (we don’t have a dishwasher). I’m learning though, that the more we challenge ourselves to let go of these things and just enjoy the moment – the moment can be so much richer and God can speak deeper into our hearts to allow us to serve others in such deeper ways. This is just another type of “busy” in my opinion that keeps God from being able to speak to our hearts the way He earns to do. I’m really trying to become more minimalistic and focus on serving others through Him, despite what my house looks like or the lack of fresh baked cookies. This week I had about 4 people visit my home (I ‘ve been pushing people to drop in anytime – and they do!) I’m a perfectionist at heart so I really enjoyed this so far. Thank you!

  157. Such a great message! I’ve starting listening for those heart drops. So fun and rewarding! I love how our stuff is Gods and we need to think of others before ourselves! Thank you!

  158. Wow! This is the first one I’ve watched. It was great! And I’m having a friend and 2 people I’ve never met cone over this morning and help me get my apartment organized and clean. I’m also downsizing. God has definitely shown himself this morning. I am so grateful and blessed. Thank you.

  159. I am loving this study and this week I learned to just do it…don’t sit and think about it and be afraid to do it…just go ahead and show your love. 💕

  160. Tina Halterman says:

    I love that the Lord has given me a heart to love others. I like knowing that I can and do help others. I love to recognize others by feeding them, doing for them, honoring them. Please know that while this message is NOT meant to be about me, it does tell that I recognize the need to love on others, to be there for them, to appreciate them. Next Wednesday is Administrative Professionals Day. Before I came into the office I work in, there wasn’t much recognition given to the staff that work in there. Now, I do a lot for them. Again, not for any recognition of me or for self-boasting, but to hopefully shine some of God’s love on them by respecting and appreciating them through generosity on special days such as Admin Prof Day and beyond. <3

    • Tina Halterman says:

      However, there are days when I don’t feel like being hospitable to anyone. Those are the days when I feel my own selfishness come to surface (NOT JUDGING ANY OF YOU) and I don’t like it. But, I’m human and I’m not always at my best and I need alone time too every now and then.

  161. Jennifer says:

    I liked that quote as well. When I have people over I am always stressing out preparing and entertaining that I don’t focus on the people when they are in my house. I also need to work on this more at work. When people stop by, I need to be more attentive and not think about all of the work that I need to get done.

  162. Sandra Vaughn says:

    Love Proverbs 31 Ministries!

  163. I love to hear her stories. I often get too stressed with entertaining and I really need to focus on hospitality.

  164. This is such a challenge for me. It is my hearts desire, but sadly I disobey God and let circumstances keep me not only from inviting others in but not even being there myself. I pray for healing and courage that I can do what God is calling me to do.

  165. Jessica Aikens says:

    I have enjoyed this bible study. It has definitely brought me closer to God and made me realize some stuff I need to work on within myself. Thanks you for letting me be apart of this.

  166. This week has been great for me! I struggle so much with hospitality. I had it all wrong thinking it was about impressing others not loving them. I had a woman in a bible study group once that I hosted at my house tell me my home smelled like stinky shoes and she just couldn’t handle it. (Later discovered it was the smell my vacuum put off) This was of course after I’d spent hours cleaning. That one comment totally wrecked me for years. Even my own parents and in laws I stopped having over. Stopped having birthday parties for my kids even. It was terrible. God has helped me to get over my pride and insecurities. I’m still a work in progress though and this weeks lesson has helped me tremendously. Thank you!!

  167. Love the reminder that it’s not about my home but the way I make people feel in my home.

  168. What stood out most…. God owns it all… not me. He owns it and lends it to me to share with others!

  169. Terri Septer says:

    All “my” things/stuff/children etc… actually all belong to Him! They are given to us to enjoy and share with others!

  170. I love this. No, it’s okay to have broken, soiled, used up “stuff”. It is replaceable, but people aren’t. I regret the tight hold I once had on stuff.

  171. I am very excited to be part of this next Bible Study. I am a little behind, but I hope my book comes in soon.

    Thank you!

  172. Please believe me when I say it is so hard for me to entertain in my home and to socialize is a task as well. As a mental health therapist I find that quiet is better for me I seem to talk all day everyday. Definitely something I need to learn to balance.

  173. This isn’t a question about the study but where are the videos filmed? It looks like such a neat place!

  174. I believe that is important to love others and to do something kind for them.

  175. Damilola says:

    I learnt that all i own belongs to God and of his hands have i obtained all that I possess. That’s a hard pill to swallow particularly as it concerns giving and sharing but I’m going to commit to praying that God touches my heart until I come to the place of acknowledgement and my actions be transformed from the knowledge

  176. Lisa Lark Taylor says:

    Thank y’all for doing this study. I use to be very hospitable, however life got in the way and so did me being bipolar, I am learning to open myself up again and be hospitable again…Lisa

  177. “We have to learn to accept some degree of imperfection.” Karen Ehman
    Wow! This right here is so refreshing. I wish someone explained this to me sooner 🙂 This is my biggest challenge, accepting my imperfections. I am getting better and so thankful for this study 🙂

  178. Gayna Costello says:

    I “love” watching your videos. It’s an uplifting experience, and I can’t wait to hear your stories. You have a such a kind and loving spirit. I may be 54 years old, but I want to be more like you. It brings tears to my eyes each time I listen. My heart is blessed. Thank you!

  179. Cari Klinghagen says:

    What jumped out at me this week was that everything I have comes from God – all of my “stuff” is His. Example: just got a gift card today from managers at works for Admin Day. Our local Christian radio station has a program this month where you can donate gift cards to kids and teens that need help getting basic items, clothes & shoes that fit properly, etc. I’ve been trying to figure out how to help as my budget is pretty tight – now that I have an unexpected gift card, I’ll be donating it to a child who needs it far more than I do. Sure it would be nice to get something for myself, but I’ve been feeling nudged to help all month and finally God has shown me a way to make it work. God is good!

  180. Beverley Amarello says:

    m loving this study and I probably have already said , it is right up my alley. I have always wanted my place to be a place that people want to congregate at. they have been times in my life where nobody came over and other times where there has been an abundance. No matter what times looking back I can tell you people notice most that they are welcomed with love. that is what they want the most.

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