Choosing & Speaking Truth {Week 2}

“Me, Myself, and Lies” Study Leader, Trish Cordell | Proverbs 31 Online Bible Studies | #NoMoreLies #P31OBSHappy Monday OBSers, and welcome to Week 2 of Me, Myself, and Lies. I’m Trish, and I’m excited to be back this week, and even more excited to kick some lies to the curb. How about you?

I have to say, choosing to speak Truth to myself is hard. I never realized how many “lies” I speak to myself on a daily basis. Like a bazillion of them!

HA! OK, not a bazillion. But way more than I thought. And after reading many of your comments from last week, I know I’m not alone in this battle.

But y’all, we were made for more! So can you say this with me: #NoMoreLies … Whew. That already makes me feel better! I hope it does you too! 🙂

Alright, let’s begin this week with a video! I love OBS videos! Today, author Jennifer Rothschild joins OBS Content Coordinator Kendra Schwarz. Let’s learn about the “three R’s” and how they help us gain wisdom AND guide our mouths!  

Want to watch with closed captioning? Click here for instructions.

If you can’t view the video above, click here to watch on YouTube.

How insightful was that? I’m sure I’ll be watching it again! So many practical ways to take control of our thought closets. I love the part where Jennifer states God’s not stingy about giving us wisdom. Hallelujah! I sure can use more of that!

And to help us remember why we want to ask for wisdom, we have our Verse of the Week, Proverbs 16:23!

“A wise man’s heart guides his mouth, and his lips promote instruction.”

Proverbs 16:23 (NIV84) | "A wise man's heart guides his mouth, and his lips promote instruction." | Proverbs 31 Online Bible Studies | Week 2 Verse | #NoMoreLies #P31OBS

I don’t know about you, but I want to be a wise woman who lets Truth sink deep into her heart. So I’m going to be on the lookout for those “wisdom-growing” truths this week! Will you join me?

Alright #NoMoreLies OBSers, we have a great week planned. And your Study Companion has everything needed to help you plan each day. If you haven’t downloaded yours yet, it’s right here:

Also, here’s our Bible study download in case you still need it. This week we’re beginning the Week 2 sections. You can start any time! I’ll be back with you Wednesday, to dig into it with you!

Lastly, if you’re still waiting on your book, you can download the first 3 chapters of Me, Myself, and Lies here.

Let’s Chat:

In the video, Jennifer shares how she’s been a “terrible name caller.” I can relate to that, too. I’ve called myself names not even thinking about what I was saying. They just rolled right off my tongue. But, Jennifer gives us a battle plan to help shut the door to those negative thoughts:

The three R’s — Recognize, Refuse and Replace

I know I find it hard to Refuse the “lie.” That’s the one “R” I want to work on this week. What’s the most difficult “R” for you? What can you do to shut the door on your negative thoughts?

Can’t wait to read your comments!



Join the Conversation | 243 Responses
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  1. Jennifer Jarrell says:

    Refuse is the hardest one for me. I need to memorize more scripture that I can remind myself quickly with to replace the names I call myself in my head!

    • I know what you mean Jennifer! I often feel like that there’s so many different sides to these lies I tell myself I need a verse for each one!! ☺️
      But I have found Eph 2:10 super handy as an all rounder.
      We at His workmanship, created for His glory. Amen to that I say!

  2. Nikki Bell (P31 O-team) says:

    Refuse would be one of my biggest struggles with the lies. It’s also work to replace it with truth and believe that part instead.

  3. I’m going to say recognize once I do that I seem to handle the other 2 steps pretty well but this last week has been a eye opener how much I do not recononize my self talk I’ve been doing it for so long, its more natural than y name. I am so glad to be doing this study.

    • Proverbs 31 Online Bible Studies Team says:

      Yes Tammy. You spoke to something so important. It can feel natural to speak negative things to ourselves. Your new natural is speaking God’s truth to yourself for you are God’s masterpiece

  4. Kimberly says:

    Recognize is the hardest one for me. I speak all these negative things to myself, harbor them in my thought closet and feel as if they are truths about my life. But I need to recognize that they are not because I was made in the image of God therefore I am His masterpiece and He makes no mistake. Once I continue to recognize this it will be easy for me to refuse those lies and replace them with the truth of God.

  5. Amanda Humphrey says:

    Replacing is the hardest for me. Some days, finding that something positive is just plain hard.

    • Proverbs 31 Online Bible Studies says:

      Amanda, Sometimes replacing is so difficult. Especially when you aren’t feeling great and life is getting crazy. Maybe make some note cards for some general good replacement thoughts. When you have that moment. You have a tool that would help. Enjoy the study.

  6. Donna Morris says:

    I would say recognize is the hardest for me.

  7. Chrysue says:

    Recognize. Once my day gets busy, my mind gets busy with work tasks and I don’ t always pay attention to my internal dialogue . I want the wisdom of God in my mind and heart. Love the verse.

  8. Deborah says:

    I find refuse and replace most difficult. I have become more aware and able to recognize the lies but refusing them entry is just soooo difficult. I need to work on filling my mind with God’s truth to be able to replace them and then perhaps it will be easier to refuse them entry… but I usually start off with good intentions and drop out half way before fully committing His Word to memory… I need to work harder on that! Thank you for this study!

  9. I think recognizing and replacing are going to be the most difficult. My life is so fast paced and the negative self talk flows so freely I don’t even realize it. However, I was stopped in my tracks a couple of months ago. My 11 year old daughter made a mistake so minor I don’t even recall what it was but she let out,”Idiot!” People have said,”She’s just like you, so hard on herself.” How’s that for eye opening! Now, I need to be able to recognize the negative self talk in the moment and then replace it with something fruitful.

    • Leah I so understand what you are saying about how eye opening it is when our children start doing those negative things we do. I have always been very bad about insulting myself out loud when it comes to my weight. My 8 year old daughter has started it and she is very skinny so it is hard on me to hear those negative words out of her mouth

  10. Roxanne says:

    For me I think it’s the refusal I think of it like I look in my closet I think wow I’ve got so many clothes don’t need these many clothes you see something on sale if you know that’s a bargain I really need to get that’s just like those thoughts we put in our head that we don’t really need to be telling ourselves that so it’s cleaning that out and I’ll replace it with scripture one of my goals is to memorize more scripture so that my thoughts can be more wise and seek God’s wisdom often .

    • Proverbs 31 Online Bible Studies Team says:

      HI Roxanne, memorizing scripture to replace the negative, bad thoughts is a great idea! It can be hard to refuse the lies we tell ourselves but forming that good habit will make such a difference in our lives for the better.

    • This is my goal also Roxanne! To memorize more scripture to help me replace.

  11. I have trouble with refusing and replacing. I need to know scripture more to replace. I get in the habit of just accepting it and not refusing that it is not true. I know at times it isn’t tru but I don’t replace it. It definitely stays with me. I’m working on it and praying all the time.

  12. Beth Clipp says:

    I never feel like i am good enough i am always apologizing when i need to ask my supervisors a question at work so that i do not give incorrect info to callers. When i told my husband about this study he was telling me this is just what i need because i am always putting myself down. I truly need to replace those put downs w/ positive thoughts.

  13. Hello
    I find that I can recognize lies for what they are but I’m not so good at refusing or replacing. I hope I can be stronger in these areas as I face difficult circumstances in my life.

    • Proverbs 31 Online Bible Studies Team says:

      Hi Yira, it is hard to refuse and replace them with truth. Memorizing scripture and praying and asking God to help us replace the lies with His truth forming that habit will help in making us stronger.

  14. The “recognize” R is definitely the one I need to work on. Taking the time to stop and evaluate my thoughts and the pattern I’m creating with them is something that requires a lot of extra effort from me. I’m so glad, though, that God just gives us the wisdom we need when we ask, so that I can start to recognize and identify those thoughts before they grow into huge balls of negativity. That’s real good news!

  15. Tracy Schultz says:

    I need to work on refusing and replacing. The voices in my head make it feel real right at what I call myself. I know I am better than that but those thoughts override anything else. I have to keep reminding myself that God does not make mistakes (even if I think I slipped through his fingers at times). Then I feel guilty for thinking that way, guilty about what flows through my mind-it always seems that I mess up the good thoughts which leads me taking 2 steps backwards. I keep trying to say better things about myself and asking God for help in this matter. Eventually I hope to be able to refuse those thoughts and learn scripture that will keep those thoughts at bay.

  16. I want to work on Recognizing the lie. I think I have internalized so many lies that I don’t always question my beliefs. This will require me to slow down and be more aware and to rely on God’s wisdom to see the lie for what it is. Of course closely linked I will need to know what to replace the lie with-that requires a good knowledge of what the bible says and am choosing to spend more time in scripture to to know what to replace the lies with once I recognize them.

    • Proverbs 31 Online Bible Studies Team says:

      Hi Mary, yes spending time in God’s word and memorizing scripture to replace the lies with His truth is the best way. And praying to Him asking for His help and guidance.

  17. All, but probably Replace. I’ve so perfected self-vitriol that it’s automatic and the “you stupid _______” just tumbles out. My fear is that someone will overhear it and think I’m talking about her. As Jennifer says, we would never speak to someone else that way……why do we do it to ourselves? Guess we expect more from ourselves that others.

  18. Kim Hatch says:

    Replacing the lies with the truth of the Gospel.

  19. I am really struggling right now with Debt. I took a class and knew not to use credit cards and then years later I am now in credit card debt and other debt. I feel like a failure and I let God down. I am struggling trying to get out of this. I am glad I am in this class. I really need it as well.

    • Stacy, each day is new and God is so proud of you for walking on the right path and clawing your way up those boulders! I have been there. I know its hard not to look at the past and debt seems surmountable, but you will make it! baby steps

    • It is hard to be a good steward with money. Even people who looks fine and appears to be doing great are barely keeping their own head above water.

      If you have a chance take a look at either Crown life or Dave Ramsey, they have a very Christian approach (and also very good practical ways) to be good steward about money

  20. Thoughts are hidden so deep I don’t even hear those words spoken. The emotion of failure just washes over me. I first have to deal with the physical, catch in my breath, tears flowing before I can examine what the trigger was. Once I find the trigger I can hear the thought that is hiding in the deep recesses. This will be a process but OH so worth it! Thank you ladies.

  21. Latina Marie says:

    I notice that I needed to start applying the truth to my past so when memories of some mistakes I made in the past, I wont revert back to calling myself names but I will insert truth and God’s grace and forgiveness and move on. It makes going forward and applying truth to my thought closet in the present better or at least less difficult.

  22. Rachel Jackson says:

    Refusing the lie is extremely hard for me. I usually can recognize it but it’s hard to refuse because oftentimes I believe it. It’s easy to get into habit of destructive thinking. It becomes a part of our identity. It really is “retraining our brain.” I need to “R”eplace it with scripture because truthfully that’s the only truth I can’t argue with. I’m thankful for this bible study. It’s such a eye opener. I’ve studied and cognitive therapy. It’s not new to me but I love the biblical approach to this and the community here knowing I’m not alone!

  23. Margaret Prime says:

    This is a fantastic bible study
    I am enjoying it so much but at the same time it is challenging. There are so many lies I have told myself but I am learning to apply the truths of God’s Word to my life.

    Thank you all for being willing to share your heart

    • Proverbs 31 Online Bible Studies Team says:

      Hi margaret, we are so glad you are joining us in this Bible study and that it is helping you learn how to replace those lies with God’s truth.

  24. Sometimes recognizing the lie is difficult for me. I know it’s negative, but at times don’t believe it’s a lie. For instance I used to believe before starting this study that it was okay for me to call myself names because it did not hurt anyone’s feelings, but it did. It hurts my feelings and how I feel about myself. So now I’m recognizing the lie and will start the refusal and replacement process.

  25. Carol Ann says:

    When I start thinking the familiar thoughts of low self worth, I started saying to myself, “Jesus, thinks I am to die for. Jesus, thinks I am to die for. Jesus, thinks I am to die for.” I am reminding myself that He thinks that I am valuable enough to Him to die for me. I then thank Him for His love for me. This has been helping me let go of my thoughts and being able to refocus in the moment and instead dwell on His love for me. It is like wrapping His arms of love around my mind until I can’t hear my noise any more. Thank you, for this study. Through this study, I have been given some tangible life application tools to use to breakdown old thought patterns. As I recognize the other things that I say to myself, I will find new, God-approved phrases to replace my thoughts with.

  26. Trish, I’d have to say that REFUSING the lie offers the most challenge! By the time I’ve recognized the lie, it’s bolted through the door and found its own hanger! ! But this OBS is helping to slow that down with God’s Word and exposure to the real time Truth!

    • Trish Cordell - P31 OBS Study Leader says:

      Rachel, I hear ya! It sure doesn’t take more than a crack for that lie to slip on in and try to take up residence! I’m so glad you’re here with us and learning to replace those lies with God’s Truth.
      P.S. Loved your hanger analogy!

  27. I am so relieved to see other women saying “recognize”. It’s not just me! I am so used to the smelly thoughts I feed myself that I don’t even realize they are there. Kind of like my teen’s disaster of a bedroom. I’m tired of the huge battle, so I have learned to just see through the mess. But I don’t want to see MYSELF through garbage any longer. I don’t even know about the second two R’s because I still need to evaluate the loads of junk in my closet. I am praying that God shines a light where I need to see the most. I believe He is ready and waiting for me to start living as His precious creation instead of the version I have made myself to be over the years. I pray God is working in you all in the same way. What a comfort to know we are not alone in this.

    • Trish Cordell - P31 OBS Study Leader says:

      I agree with you Janet! It really is a comfort to know we are not alone is this every day battle to win the war against lies that we tell ourselves. Those smelly thoughts need to go back where they came from! So, glad you’re here with us and I pray God continues to grow that beautiful light inside you for all to see! Hugs!!

  28. Something Jennifer said in the video really struck me. She said that we need to “hold” our thoughts captive until they obey Jesus. And that’s a great image that I think will help me as I struggle with the refusing of the lie. But the lies I recognize may be secondary lies. I am not sure that I recognize all of them. Some may be so ingrained that I have already accepted them as part of who I am so it’s easy for me to believe the secondary lies, which are usually something to the effect of-something is physically wrong with you and you’re probably going to die. I don’t think I would have trouble refusing those lies if I hadn’t already believed that I was worthless. I am praying for wisdom to recognize ALL the snares and lies and strength and faith to refuse them, with the exact verse to refute them. This week will be a better week.

  29. I’m loving this study!! The one “R” I have trouble with is the recognizing. It’s after it’s there and I realize it, I’m quick to refuse those negative destructive thoughts!! You have to be on top of the game and have scripture ready to replace right away. Holding those thoughts captive AND… making them obey Christ… His written word. God will never speak to us in a negative way… in any way that is destructive. He wail always encourage us towards Hid good will, His good plan. He’s so good!!

  30. Lisa Herbstreit says:

    Replace is the R I struggle with the most…involved truly knowing that God’s word is meant for me in multiple ways…one being to describe my true identity. So once I recognize the lie and refuse to believe the lie, my faith can lead me to be still and know that I was made in God’s image and He is fighting for me to win the battle for my thought closet! God is good

  31. Recognizing is the R that I have trouble with. I’ve become so accustomed to the lies I tell myself I can’t distinguish that they’re lies. My prayer this week is for God to give me His wisdom to recognize those lies and turn them into truths.

    • Nikki Conley says:

      I agree with you, and this week I’ll pray for you and with you.. please do the same for me, blessings Nikki!

  32. Kristina says:

    The most difficult one would be to recognize or replace the words. So we will see.

  33. Margaret says:

    Oh I would say it’s all three! I’m so horrible about it. I do it sarcastically like “nice job Martin” when I do something no so brilliant

  34. Tangila Webb says:

    This was such a timely word. Replacement is the hardest for me because I have gotten lazy about finding Scripture for those thoughts I’m trying to refuse.

  35. Nikki Conley says:

    I struggle with each of the R’s and I find that as Mrs.Jennifer stated asking God to give you wisdom is a great way to seek help in this time!! Great stuff

    • Proverbs 31 Online Bible Studies Team says:

      Hi Nikki, yes praying and asking God for wisdom and his help along with spending time in His word and memorizing scripture will grow you closer to God and help you to form that habit to replace the lies we tell ourselves with god’s truth.

  36. Nancy Tuck says:

    I’m so glad I’m doing this study! It’s exactly what I need! The hardest R for me is Replace. I want a plethora of scriptures at the ready to fight off those negative thoughts that so easily come to mind.

  37. Jessica says:

    REFUSE! Several years ago I heard the example of thinking of this as when you open the door to a delivery person and you don’t want what they are delivering… You refuse the delivery. I just take a thought captive and say – I AM NOT SIGNING FOR THIS!!!

  38. Leticia says:

    Recognize is the tough one…I don’t think I recognize my thoughts until I’m feeling depleted..I need to recognize immediately and replace them with the word of truth.
    Loving this study..

    • Proverbs 31 Online Bible Studies Team says:

      Hi Leticia, yes recognizing can be hard sometimes because we have formed that habit of telling ourselves lies and bringing ourselves down. we are our worst critics. So glad you are joining us in this Bible study and keep praying and asking God to help you and in God’s word and replacing those lies with His truth!

  39. Sheila Hawk says:

    I absolutely how Jennifer broke it down into the 3 R’s. This study has really shown me, how much I actually believe what I am saying to myself. I think personally doing the first R would take some time. We are so use to the thoughts that we need to actually think what we are saying first. I know I have a problem with that. I believe if I can Recognize it first then I would be able to follow through with the rest of the R’s. I am making that my task for this week is to do the 3 R’s on my thought closet.

  40. Heather says:

    Refusing is the hardest one for me, probably because I have said those things and believed them for so long. I have to be very mindful to replace those thoughts over and over again with God’s Word. I have done this in the past by writing scripture on notecards and carrying them with me….very helpful for me!

  41. The hardest R is refuse. I discovered this past week it’s easier to refuse nice things you hear people saying about you, than it is to refuse a lie. I will be working on this, this week.

  42. Jennifer says:

    Hmm…I think for me it’s probably recognize. It’s been such a habit that before starting this bible study I thought to myself, “I’ll do it because I want to study with the group, but i’m pretty good at now doing this anymore.” Last week I started to see places where I do let my brain sort of go on auto pilot and pick at myself with little things like, ‘messed that up again’ or ‘he’ll never really like you again’ things like that. And it’s a constant all day thing. As I started to recognize them and say stop to them, I started to feel myself relax and thing i’m okay, i’m doing my best and God’s got me. So this week i’m continuing to work on recognizing!

    • Proverbs 31 Online Bible Studies Team says:

      Thank you for sharing the results you are seeing Jennifer. Keep up the good work! Blessings.

  43. Tara Pease says:

    There’s nothing like a 30th (!!!) class reunion to send a girl right back to those high school feelings of not fitting in!! 🙂 I knew everyone there, but no one else from the group I was closest to back in the day was able to make it. And judging from the number of former cheerleaders who mispronouced my name, I’m guessing they really didn’t remember me. Add to that the fact that I really didn’t want to get drunk & act silly with them… I felt somewhat out out of place. By the time I got home, I was almost regretting going (“no one really even noticed or cared that I was there”… “you never will fit in with them.”). But on Saturday, I was finally able to recognize the “stinking thinking”, refuse & replace it. I never fit in with the cheerleader crowd then… so what if they still don’t like me? It doesn’t change the fact that I did have a good time hanging out & reminiscing with a few folks that were happy to see me (and could pronounce my name right!!).

    • Proverbs 31 Online Bible Studies Team says:

      Oh Tara, many of us can relate to your story. We are so proud of you that you did not let that “stinking thinking” stay in your closet. You are one awesome lady. 🙂

  44. Refuse is the hardest. But, I kept thinking I wouldn’t let anyone else talk to me in this way so why should I let my self talk get away with it.

  45. Mare Hindall says:

    For me it’s, recognize. I’m still working on that one, and, boy is it hard. I need to grasp the truth, not the lies.

  46. i have a hard time reconizeing.

    • Proverbs 31 Online Bible Studies Team says:

      Thank you for sharing with us today Sammi. Recognizing is often difficult. We pray that as you go through this study, you will gain the tools so that recognizing becomes very familiar to you. Blessings.

  47. Nancy W says:

    I would have to say recognize. Thinking I might just be so use to it that I don’t even recognize when I am saying/thinking negative things. I need to be more aware of my thoughts/words to myself.

  48. Laura F says:

    Recognize is hard for me sometimes because it’s a natural conversation and I may not realize that I am speaking to myself in that manner.

  49. Karen Harding says:

    Recognize is so hard. When you have been “downing” yourself for sooooo long, it’s hard to stop. But I know that God has a better plan for me!!!

  50. Kendra Rauner says:

    The most difficult R for me would be to recognize. I am very quick to name calling myself, but hopefully with this bible study, that will change!

  51. Mine is “Refuse” and “Recognize”. I have a difficult time refusing the bad talk because I feel like I “deserve” whatever is happening to me. I’m one who comes from a family of worriers. If my life is going well, I’m waiting for the next “tragedy” coming around the corner. I’ve convinced myself that I do not deserve to be happy 100%. I live a life of struggle and strife. If things are good it won’t last. That’s the negative self talk I say to myself. I struggle with my weight. It’s definitely my issue not anyone elses. It doesn’t help when I replay the “tape” of a recording in my mind my mother told me when I was 12. She said, “Kambia, one day you’ll be as pretty as your sister, Tammi”. I still let those words haunt me. The other day she even said, “once you get you’re gap closed in front of your teeth, you’ll definitely find you a man”. Wow. And the recognize part is realizing that each day that I look at myself in the mirror, I’m saying those same things back to me, even without words. My own looks and body language speak negative self talk. One thing I want to ask all of you is do you ever negative self talk at work? I have the worst time thinking that others are talking bad about me or that if someone gets praise that means I’m not good enough. I struggle with that to the point of burning myself out and not enjoying my job.

    • Oh Kambia, I can relate on every single level to what you said. I too struggle with the “I don’t deserve to be happy”. When things are good, I too wait “for the other shoe to drop”. I have the weight issue. I’m a worrier. I too was constantly told to be like my smarter, prettier, more popular and responsible older sister. Curiously, work was the one place where I ended up feeling more confident. I was in nursing. I was initially like you in the workplace, always worrying or waiting to screw up. My skills weren’t the strongest, but I chose to focus on what I was able to do for my patients on a more personal level. I’d slow down to really listen to them. I’d be empathetic and gentle. I’d validate their thoughts and fears. The positive response I got from them was enough to show me I was doing ok. I’m so glad to be here with you -thanks for sharing.

  52. I have been working on replacing negative self talk with scripture for awhile now & it really is helping.. not only myself but sometimes what I say “under my breath about others”. I hate to admit that but it is true.. this study is so awesome..

  53. I have struggled with so many lies, particularly telling myself that I am not good enough, smart enough, for whatever it might be that I am facing. The other frequent lie is “I can’t” which leads to feeling anxious and overwhelmed. I am thankful to have a reminder of these “Rs” today, and this week I will begin working on the “I can’t” lie. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13

  54. Cindy S says:

    I would like help in replacing a word that I use way too much! Weird! Any suggestions?

  55. Wynne Hindt says:

    Refusing or Rejecting the lies I tell myself is the hardest part for me. I know the truth in my heart but my mind just starts to spin on the circle of lies I have rehearsed for years.

    Holy Spirit, take control of my mind!

    • Proverbs 31 Online Bible Studies Team says:

      Amen Wynne. May we all remember to ask the Holy Spirit to help us with these lies we keep letting in. Thank you for sharing this with us today.

  56. For me I would have to say recognize and replace. I have been doing it for so long that I really do need the Lord to help me recognize it and than I really would need Him to help me replace it with His truth.

  57. Kim Davis says:

    I struggle with negative self-talk. I never feel good enough and this leads to overwhelming depression and anxiety. I love the Lord with all my heart ❤️. Thank you Jennifer for writing this book and thank you Proverbs 31 OBS for this Bible Study. I pray for God’s healing to stop this viscous pattern. I also pray for God’s guidance to women that love the Lord and would love me as I am.

  58. Refuse is my challenge. I recognize it but I don’t refuse to let it in which rolls into me not replacing it with truth. So I guess there are 2 things I need to work on.

  59. All three R’s are difficult for me, but I think if I had to choose just one it would be “reject”
    It hard to realize what my mind is thinking because I have so much that runs through it on a daily basis.

  60. Pam Vandermey says:

    I am going to share my revelation from reading Chapter Three, watching the video and reading today’s comments so far: We need a 4th “R” – R E D E E M E D. So, when we have the stinky thinking and we recognize it, which is a feat in and of itself, to refuse it requires courage and strength that we can only receive from the Holy Spirit. To then Replace it requires wisdom, and wisdom comes from the Truth! The Truth comes from our Bible, which tells us we are, each one of us, fully Redeemed! With my focus on Redeemed, perhaps I can better equip myself to recognize, refuse and then replace. Whew! Blessings to you all.

  61. Sue Murphy says:

    I need to be much quicker to recognize those lies. I tell myself lies so fast and furious sometimes that I don’t even realize what I am doing. Than when I have told enough of them and feel bad, it dawns on me what I have been doing. I need to guard that door and pull those thoughts into line with what is wise. Than refuse them and replace them.

  62. Chrissy Grothaus says:

    I think the most difficult R is refuse. I think negative thoughts and I recognize them but my feelings say they are the truth. It is difficult to refuse them because of my emotions in that moment. I am working on reigning it in! I’ll add that R to my list – Recognize, reign it in, refuse, replace!

  63. Patti Goolsby says:

    This is my first online bible study and I am so grateful! 💕💕💕
    I had no problem picking up the book and reading, however when I got to doing the work I was telling myself “this is like school and I’m not good in school!” I quickly took that thought captive and realized that was not going to serve me and that was not true. 🙌
    We are students our entire life and this isn’t about a grade this is about our life‼️
    Our message this month at church is about Reboot, a coincidence? I think not, all God! Thank you ladies.😘

    • Proverbs 31 Online Bible Studies Team says:

      We are so glad you are joining us Patti! The Lord continues to teach us throughout our lives and it is so fun to do that learning with our OBS ladies! We love you all!

  64. Definitely refuse is the hardest one for me. I can recognize that it’s a lie and know the truth, but for some reason choosing to refuse to listen to the lie is so difficult for me. I’m hoping that this study will help me learn how to do that better.

  65. This has been a huge eye opener for me. For me the biggest R is Refuse. I can do a lot of damage with a quick thought, but I have never told myself to Refuse this kind of talk. Thank you for this huge insight P31. I am going to start Refusing all negative wardrobe talk.

  66. Refuse is probably my hardest. I think it’s fairly easy for me to recognize the lies because I know what I’m thinking of myself doesn’t line up with God’s perception and love for me.

    Refusing is hard because sometimes thoughts creep into my head when I’m preoccupied or involved in some other unrelated activity. It’s hard to stop those thoughts from rolling into my head even though I know they’re not true. But once they’re in there, I get discouraged or upset and have to take some time out to pray, get close with God and then replace those lies with the truth.

  67. Refusing those thoughts have been the area where I need to grow most. That’s not a one time process and I can tend to get a little lazy. I have to remind myself that thought will want to come back and I have to tell it NO!! And replace it with the truth. I get overwhelmed because there are a lot of lies I rehearse about myself and I’m like how am I ever going to do this?? But I’m going to just choose to believe Matthew 19:26 and this refuse and replace is a process I will be having to implement the rest of my life.

  68. Traci Smith says:

    The difficult R for me is Recognize. In the “real world”, I get so caught up with life that I fail to stop and recognize my thought life most of the time. My “real world”, occurs between mid August and mid May…I’m a teacher. I do my best bible study during the summer because I make it a point to not busy myself with too many activities. My summers are a time for me to reconnect. It’s during this time, that I can keep my mind centered on my Bible Study a great deal more than I do during the other 9 months of the year…So, recognizing my thought life is easier. HOWEVER, in order to keep my thoughts focused on God during those busy and stressful 9 months; in order to exercise Thought Recognitions, I must make every effort to stay God focused during those 9 months of utter insanity! This will keep me God centered and focused on my thought life throughout the entire year. When I make more room for God, there is no room for the lies I tend to tell myself.

  69. Hope Beach says:

    I love the 3 R’s. I wish there was a cute picture that would go with that so we can download it. I put it on a post it note for now and am going to put it in the entrance to my closet so I’ll remember to clothe myself properly every day! 🙂

    • Proverbs 31 Online Bible Studies Team says:

      Hope, that is a wonderful idea to post the notecard with the three R’s on you cloths closet. Thank you for sharing this with us. Blessings.

  70. Whitney Stratton says:

    Refuse. I have a hard time letting the negative thoughts and things I say about myself get in my head and stay there until I truly start believing them. They honestly haunt me and keep me miserable.!! Its so bad I suffer with low self esteem.

  71. Elizabeth Irby says:

    The hardest R for me right now is the first one…just Recognizing that I am doing it in the first place. I, too, struggle with name calling, like Jennifer, when I make a mistake or forget something. It’s such an ingrained habit that I am having to be very intentional about catching myself. I think this first step will be crucial for me in making the necessary changes in my thought closet.

  72. Stephanie says:

    The hardest R for me is recognizing that what I am telling myself is a lie. When I get caught up in emotions I can convince myself that the lies are true. I am working on cleaning out my thought closet and replacing bad soul talk with good.

  73. Kay Pflueger says:

    The hardest R for me is recognizing the lies. It is such an ingrained habit that I don’t even recognize that I am doing it. The emotions that are wrapped around the lies derail my thinking to the point that I don’t even hear them as lies.

  74. Rocio Enriquez says:

    The hardest “R” for me is REFUSE the lies. It is hard to refuse lies at the door of my thought closet but I am ready to put work into it. I will no longer let lies into my thought closet. I will no longer beat myself up with the lies of the enemy.

  75. I’ve enjoyed the book so far. Both helpful and practical. However chapter 3 hit it out of the park!! I never ever picked up on the biblical reference of self talk by the woman with the bleeding issue! So true and right there in the pages of scripture! im sold for sure now!
    The toughest R for me is refuse. It seems that even though i recognize lies and destructive thought they bully themselves right into my closet. I consider myself a tough girl but it seems i can be and have not exercised my power in Christ in this area. Appreciate any specific Scripture to focus on.

  76. I find Replace to be the hardest one. That requires me to come up with a positive word which I find difficult at times to do. I think I can work on refusing to criticize myself, but I may be a little ways away from telling myself that I am okay or better than okay.

  77. The two “R”s that are a challenge for me is “Refuse and Replace”. I can recognize my thoughts, no problem. But refusing can be difficult when you are totally agreeing with what you’re saying to yourself. I really need to work on refusing my crazy thoughts. To replace my crazy thoughts, oh boy. I have been really mean to myself. I don’t know if it’s stress or depression. But I just lost interest in a lot of things in my life and worried about the more negative things. I stopped exercising, stop taking care of myself, just get up in the morning don’t even care what I put on. To be honest, I’ve called myself really bad words that I never used in my life lately. I feel bad about that. It just seems like I’m getting attacked from every side and that’s really making me feel like this. Believing what people are saying which I know is a lie and not true. I thought to myself maybe if I don’t get ready or dress nice and not put on a smile, then maybe it will work for me. But I don’t like it. It just makes me feel sick, dark and lonely. I feel like I’m giving power to those negative thoughts and the negative people in my life. No, I’m not going to do this anymore. Lord, please help me in this area of my life. I’m pushing my husband, my son and family away. I’m pushing the most important people in my life when they are trying to support and help me. I feel really bad because my husband and I had a big argument this weekend. We exchanged words and boy was that heart breaking for both of us. It was mainly my fault because he was just trying to encourage me and I just jumped all over him. Lord, please give me the wisdom to promote positive thoughts about myself.

    • Proverbs 31 Online Bible Studies Team says:

      Darla, may we lift up a prayer with you. Heavenly Father, we ask that you be with our sister Darla, who is going through a very difficult time right now. Lord, may she feel your arms around her, reminding her of just how much you love and care for her, your beloved child. Speak your truth to her mind and heart, and help her to refuse to let the lies come into her thought closet. Give her the strength she needs, Lord. We ask this in Your Son’s precious and Holy name, Amen.

      • Thank You so much for your prayers! I don’t really talk much about my situation but I felt so comfortable in giving my testimony today to my Proverbs 31 Bible Study Leaders.

        • Kim Finch says:

          Praying for your Darla. We serve a mighty God and He has a plan to walk you out of this season and back into the light.

  78. Suzie V. says:

    What’s the most difficult “R” for you? What can you do to shut the door on your negative thoughts?
    The most difficult “R” for me is recognize because I let my emotions takeover and that makes it difficult to see that the enemies’s lies are UNtruths, but God’s word is TRUTH and through reading and studying God’s Word, I will know the truth and the truth will set me free and that’s how I plan to shut the door on negative thoughts!

  79. Wanda Carlton says:

    yeah. refuse .

  80. Vicki H. says:

    Refuse would be the most difficult because in that moment when I have done something stupid I become stupid …but now I will think before I say negative and recognize ..refuse..replace. I think I will need some sticky notes with the 3R’s written on them.

  81. Elizabeth says:

    Refuse is the hardest for me. I have a really hard time of letting them go and moving on with better things.

    • Proverbs 31 Online Bible Studies Team says:

      You are not alone Elizabeth. Letting go of those negative comments and moving on is very difficult. Jennifer writes on page 34, “He (God) is a perfect forgetter; we are imperfect forgetters.” With God’s help we can do this! You got this girl.

  82. To refuse! For as long as I can remember I have always said, I am stupid ,not good enough, and not feeling like I belonged in my own family. It is like your thoughts are on autopilot and immediately begins to speak those lies and feed on them. I have to constantly remind myself who I am in Christ Jesus, even telling myself of my true identity in Christ when my thoughts are calm,no lies being thought. I constantly pray let the words of my mouth and the mediations of my heart be acceptable in thy sight,O Lord. I can telling myself to bring every thought captive to the truth. If it is not truth let it go and replace with the truth of God’s Word.

  83. “Recognize” is my top challenge in this OBS. My entire 62 year old identity is still bound up in the criticism and name calling by my parents, siblings and school mates. Unfortunately, my faith denomination did not encourage Scripture study unless you were theologically gifted or were clergy. So I’m way behind in finding the scriptural passages I need to Refuse and Replace but I’m working on it. Thanks for the spiritual and moral support!

  84. Michelle Matheson says:

    Recognizing is the hardest step for me. I don’t usually realize it when I am doing it, it’s just habit. So my goal this week is to be very aware of my self talk this week and be intentional with it.

    • Christine Robinson says:

      I’m with you, Michelle! Right now it’s a habit I don’t even think about; I just do it. I need to think about what I’m thinking about so I’m asking the Holy Spirit to help me recognize when I’m speaking lies to myself. The next hard part for me will be replacing the thought with Truth.

  85. I want to work on knowing scripture to replace the lies I tell myself with biblical truths.

  86. The “R” I find hard is REPLACE. I think the reason for that is that I have already stored so many lies that it becomes a habit. However, I do find that the more I studied the Word of God, the lies have to flee, because God’s Word is more powerful and able to penetrate the deepest part of the soul. So I will continue to fill my spirit with God’s Word, believe and become a doer of the Word.

  87. I would have to say refusal is the hardest for me. However, looking at shutting the door on negative thoughts #falsebeliefs, maybe a way for me to refuse those thoughts. Understanding and following the scripture to help understand the truths about myself will help in this process.

  88. Michelle says:

    My biggest hurdle is replacing the thought or lie. I can recognize and refuse, but I don’t often talk positively to myself which leaves me empty still and wanting positive reinforcement from others. I’ve gotten better at seeking this through the Uninvited and Finding I Am studies, but I still need to work on seeking truth about myself from scripture!

  89. Debra Walker says:

    I believe that Replace is the hardest R for me. I call myself various negative names and tell myself lies about myself often. Replacing the negative thoughts in my head is difficult, but with Recognizing, Refusing and then Replacing those negative names, thoughts and lies with God’s truth, my thought closet will have much more attractive items in it!

  90. Erin H. says:

    Refusing lies is the “R” I struggle with most. They’re too often louder than the truth.

    • Proverbs 31 Online Bible Studies Team says:

      Well said Erin. Lies can be quite loud. Listen for that voice of truth. Keep speaking truth. Write it on a card. Put it on your mirror and refrigerator or coffee pot so you see it frequently. Keep on speaking the truth. Keep on. God wants to keep showing you his plan. Step by step.

  91. Jennifer Butler says:

    The most difficult “R” for me is to replace. I can recognize them right away. I don’t always refuse them, but I struggle to replace them with positives because I believe the lies. I believe that I can’t be a mom since I lost my ovaries to cancer a couple years ago. That is not true, because I can adopt one of these days or even be a foster parent with my husband. See it is easy to replace now, because I am not struggling with it. What I constantly do is pray to God. I ask God for strength, for wisdom, and to reveal himself to me so I can see who I really am to God. That is how I try to replace my negative thoughts.

  92. I actually interrupted myself before going to today’s study to do something that resulted in calling myself a name. Wow do I need this LOL. I had made my first post on LinkedIn where I did not sugar coat. After I posted I started calling myself names . LOL. It was truth about an injustice that needed to be pointed out. So tell me lol – is it difficult to correct typos when we post as a lesson for us? ❤️😄😇❤️

  93. I am going to put the 3 r’s on note cards and put them places. like in my purse, in the car, on the frig. etc.

  94. Winona Moore says:

    Another one of those things that is ‘easier said than done.” I think the younger you the easier it is for you to do; but after 76 yrs, the habit is like, ‘cement that’s almost hardened.’ But with God’s help it’s totally attainable.

    • Proverbs 31 Online Bible Studies Team says:

      Winona. Yes. But with God’s help all things are possible. Which R is the hardest to you?

  95. Elizabeth says:

    Wow. I really think the first R, Recognize, is the hardest one for me! I just let names and negative talk roll right on by and I don’t even notice that I’m doing that to myself. That’s mine main area of focus right now, recognizing what I’m saying!

  96. I initially was going to say Refuse but realized it was Recognize. It’s not only the names I call myself but false information I tell myself…. like “my daughter doesn’t want me to bother her with a text or phone call”. I realized it was a wrong perception of mine … which goes back to “why would she want me to call her.” The root being … not a good enough Mom. Yikes!

  97. Natalie Tull says:

    Hey Ladies!!! Happy Monday! For me, refusing the lies is where I get tripped up! I love the analogy Jennifer used when talking about reusing the lies. Keeping my thought closet door shut, refusing the lies, thus keeping the lie outside of the door until I can replace it with Gods truth! Visualizing that is going to help me tremendously!!! What a way to kick off Week 2, its going to be a great week!!!!

    • Proverbs 31 Online Bible Studies Team says:

      She is so great to help us visualize. It is kinda fun to think about that lie standing outside the closet door

  98. Natalie Tull says:

    Hey Ladies!!! Happy Monday! For me, refusing the lies is where I get tripped up! I love the analogy Jennifer used when talking about reusing the lies. Keeping my thought closet door shut, refusing the lies, thus keeping the lie outside of the door until I can replace it with Gods truth! Visualizing that is going to help me tremendously!!! What a way to kick off Week 2, its going to be a great week!!!!

  99. Kehaulani Bohannon says:

    The most difficult R for me is probably replace. What is something I can say positively to discribe my situation? I’m not “annoying”….I’m “persistent and dedicated”?

    Definitely something I’m going to work on!!

  100. I think for me it is at times all 3. I am getting better at recognizing but all it takes is something silly and I am all over that negative self talk. It does lean more to refusing and to replace. I have been in counseling for several months which has helped a lot with seeing (recognizing) all the negative self talk that does come out of my mouth. But I still struggle with the other two.
    Last night is a perfect example. My fiancée and I were on the road. I was driving and it was just about 9 P.M. this is a small 2 lane highway no street lights or anything. It is that time of night where it isn’t dark but not really light either. I could see something in/on the road up ahead but couldn’t make it out. Well about the time I got close enough I realized it was a shovel (yes a digging shovel) in the middle of the road. In my movement to miss it and stay in my own lane (no cars in the oncoming lane so I could have swerved that way) I went to the right a little. I ended up hitting it with the back tire and putting a small slow leaking gash into the tire. We were in a no cell service, no house area. We had to drive a bit to get to cell service (spotty at that) and a little town. I kept apologizing and calling myself so many names (granted the name calling was all in my head), my fiancée kept trying to get me to understand that it was okay. But I just couldn’t understand how it was okay when I did that. I mean we were needing to replace the tires but we were waiting until the end of summer. Now we have to spend money we haven’t saved up for because I reacted the wrong way…. You can just imagine the words that played in my head all night over that.

    • Proverbs 31 Online Bible Studies Team says:

      Great opportunity to practice these 3 R’s. What words will you replace? And it sounds like you have a great fiancé

  101. Marni Romaniuk says:

    I definitely had to write these down on an index card and I will keep it front and center! I will need to work on the refusing and replacing!! I love this study and timing is perfect!

  102. Suzanne says:

    I am pretty good at doing all three when things are running smoothly or I don’t do anything wrong. As I stay calm I can recognize things. But when things go wrong, or don’t work, or my friend (whom I am caregiver too) is upset about something I did or did not do. Then my world collasps into self critizism, name calling, frustration, crying (sometimes) and even anger words at God that I later have to repent for. Then the problem is not necrssarily recognition as we usually know constructive from destructive it is taking the time to anyalze whether it is constructive or destructive. I am usually so busy trying to right the problem or make peace or rattling off destructive things to and about myself that I do not take the time to anyalize it. Then come the problem of refusing and replacing it because I then go into condemnation about lying to myself. Not scripture reciting but turning what I said around so I do not let it into my closet door. And then by the time I do reach for my Bible (my life saver, my sword) I am too exhausted to think straight or read anything. On goes the battle. One thing I can say about this book is that Jennifer has brought it to my attention so that now I am know about how to deal with the lies that I put upon myself. I always knew it was wrong I just thought it was life and everybody did it. I did not realize you could overcome it. SOoooo. I need to stay calm (not an easy thing for me to do in a crisis) evaluate constructive or destructive, mentally and out loud rebuke the devil and hold the door of my thought closet shut while at the same time reach for my Bible. I can open it up to almost anywhere and see God’s love. This is going to take a lot of self control. I need to be a disciple of the Word.

  103. Recognizing my lies is my biggest challenge because I have been doing it for so long. It’s breaking the habit that I am working on right now.

  104. I’m still working on Recognizing when I put myself down. What would you call something like this: “Good job, Lila! (*sarcasm*) I can’t believe I didn’t remember that!”

    • Trish Cordell - P31 OBS Study Leader says:

      That sounds like my version of “snarky.” Usually followed up with some sort of snorting…pppffffttt noise. I had a friend who used to sit in her office and when she’d make a mistake, she’d say “You’re so stupid, (insert name).” So, I started to do the same, only I would still use her name as if that was somehow better. Lies!! All lies!! We all begin somewhere in that recognition phase, so you just keep on pressing in and I bet it gets easier. So glad you’re here with us Lila!

    • I have been doing that same thing to myself today for the last 3 hours. The situation just keeps piling on with each email I send out trying to fix a situation. The sad thing is I have not had the butt chewing yet so I fear it is going to get worse before it gets better. I am at lunch right now and about to do some more reading to hopefully help curb the thoughts going on in my head.

  105. So, this is LONG, but it was such a powerful moment of wisdom and revelation that I just have to share it. One of the biggest lies I tell myself is that I suck at commitment. I’ve been married and divorced twice and made lots of mistakes while I was married…and while my current boyfriend and I have been together for almost 10 years, we still aren’t married and neither of us ever makes much of an attempt to push for that. Therefore, I suck at commitment.

    So today, this was the lie that was stuck in my brain after I finished Chapter 4 of the book. So I said to myself, you do NOT suck at commitment. Make a list of things you’ve committed to:
    1. My job – for a full 10 years so far!
    2. I’ve been committed to the same best friend for 38 years.
    3. I committed to, and completed, running a half marathon
    4. I committed to learning and improving my mountain biking.
    5. I committed to learning to ski.
    6. I’ve committed myself to my two awesome employees (who God put in my life for a reason)
    7. I committed myself to lots of plays in high school and as a young adult – attending practice, learning lines, helping with sets, etc.
    8. I’ve committed to building websites with NO experience.
    9. I’ve committed to this Bible Study!

    There are LOTS of things I’ve committed to. So then it occurred to me (and trust me, this is hard to type without crying, but I’m doing it), the reason I haven’t been able to commit to these marriages and relationships is because these men were all men I chose. They aren’t the person God has planned for me.

    Now at this point, it makes sense why over the past several months I’ve been questioning things at home…though I’m happy and I can’t see myself breaking up with my BF, when I’ve thought about marriage I’ve felt a very strong “Nope” from God. So I know that HE will guide me through this and HE will lead me to the right person when the time is right. I’ve also heard a lot of “be patient” and “trust me” so, that’s helpful…

    Maybe that will change. But it’s God’s plan for me, so I have to just look forward to, with joy and anticipation, whatever he brings my way.

    The last thing I said to myself, which came out of nowhere, was, “So I’m not crazy for having all these thoughts?” The answer I got? “No. You’re a child of God.”

    • Good for you!! A fantastic list! You do NOT suck at commitment!

    • Trish Cordell - P31 OBS Study Leader says:

      That’s an awesome revelation Julie! Thanks for sharing how you turned all that negative nelly thinking around! Good for you!

    • Julie, you are on it girl! Thank you for brought a sting to my eyes. What a big reminder that God has the right Person for you and I now truly believe He had the right Person for me. I’ve been cheated on and I’ve told myself”because I was not good enough for them” That’s the biggest lie. I’m am good, God loves me, those men were not the right ones for me. It’s your text that helped open up my eyes wide! #NoMoreLies. Thank you and God bless. You are amazing!

  106. Refuse is the R that is the hardest for me, but I’m going to peace it this week by speaking truth to my soul

  107. I need to work on Refusing to let the lies in. I am constantly talking to myself with negative talk and I need to Refuse to let them into my thought closet.

  108. Rachelle Q (P31 O-Team) says:

    The most difficult R for me is refusing as well. I can recognize it and replace it eventually but it takes a while to refuse it. I will try harder on refusing by replacing with positive truthful words.

  109. I’m all caught up and now I can does this!!!!!

  110. Scherri says:

    Just a few minutes ago, I sat my full glass of water on the table in my living room, reached for my phone, and knocked my cup over, spilling water on my chair, table, and carpet. I said, “You dummy.” Then immediately remembered I’m not going to talk to myself like that anymore, so I replaced it with, “I’m the workmanship of God.” I just need to keep working on refusing those names!

  111. SandraAnn Clark says:

    I think recognize would be the “R” I need to deal with first and most intently. The reason I say this is because I feel I have become very clever at disguising my negative soul talk through thouggts such as not trying to bother others or not cause conflict, just be a good girl, the people pleaser, or they’re too busy, too important, etc….

  112. Refusing the lie is will be the most difficult for me. I have spoke untruthfully to myself for so long to push against the lie becomes difficult.

  113. Definately “Refuse”
    I say something the Wooooooosh!
    (head spinning around)
    “Who was THAT woman?”
    Feeling the need to Continually take everything captive for the Glory of God

  114. Refuse and Replace are the “R’s” that I am going to be struggling with. I really try to refuse to let bad thoughts in my thought closet but they get in every time. And, being that they get in; it becomes hard to replace the lies that I let in. I know one thing; I need to get into the Bible and memorize scripture to fight back with. That is my weakness; not knowing enough scripture to fight negative thoughts. So glad for the is study and love how it is waking me up to recognizing where I am going wrong.

  115. I think I need to work on replacing the lie. If I have that Bible reference or scripture verse to combat the lie, I can actively work on replacing the lie with the truth. I will be asking the Holy Spirit to show me the verses that combat my lies and trust Him for His revelation!

  116. I certainly struggle with Recognizing the negative talk and lies being thrown about my mind. Sometimes I don’t really hear them until they’ve grown too deep. Sometimes I hear them but don’t realize they’re lies.

  117. Jennifer says:

    I am constantly telling myself that I am not good enough. I try to please others and be perfect so other will not criticize me, but I am my own worst critic. I definitely recognize this. I need to work on refusing this. I also need to replace these thoughts with truth from God’s word. For me, I think replacing these thoughts need to occur before I can refuse them.

  118. Susan Kolb says:

    I need to work on replacing the lie with the truth. I can recognize it almost before it is out of my mouth and refuse it for the lie it is. But taking time to replace it with God’s truth is not always my strong point. I will be better at that. So glad for a chance to truly look in my thought closet and clean it out! #NoMoreLies!

  119. ‘Reject’ and ‘Replace’ are the hardest Rs for me. I raised two children before I became a Christian. Now they are adults and I see how they are living their lives and I feel like a failure as a parent. I realize I was lost during their childhood, so they were raised in my ignorance but I keep thinking: have I doomed them to hell?. I keep praying that God will send His Spirit to convict them of their need for Him. I’m hoping this study will help me learn truths from the Bible to help me reject and replace the ‘failure’ label which causes me such heartache.

    • Proverbs 31 Online Bible Studies Team says:

      Jan, we can pray that the Lord will put Christians in the lives of your children who will speak truth to them. All is not lost. Believe!

      • Yes, please! That’s a great idea! I often tell God I don’t know how to pray for them. This is a perfect, wise thing to ask for. Thank you so much!

  120. The most difficult R for me is replace. I need to continue working on knowing God’s word. I will get there though. I know I can do it.

  121. Karlansia Mills says:

    I find it difficult to refuse the lie. I have been trying to recite memory verses when I find myself telling myself a lie to rejuvenate myself.

  122. Caralyn says:

    I am often at a loss of what to replace the lies with! Thankfully there is plenty of scriptures that tell me what God thinks about me. I trust His judgment over mine anyway!

  123. Rebecca says:

    I have difficulty replacing the lie with truth. I can recognize and refuse it, but once I do that…I’m stuck about what to replace it with. I’ve been trying to study scripture in order to do this, and it is so exciting, because I know the answer is in there. Thank you God.

  124. Jamie Joyner says:

    It’s hard to pick just one “R” as my biggest struggle because I struggle with both RECOGNIZE & REFUSE.

    I have become so accustomed to the negativity that it rolls right out without me putting much thought behind it. But refusing is tough too. Because I often feel like the negativity is true. I have believed it for so long!

    I am excited to put this plan into action!

  125. I am having great difficulty recognizing the “lie”. I’m not sure if it is God trying to correct me and put me back on the right path or if it is Satan trying to send me off of a cliff. A wonderful woman at church yesterday told me that God would NEVER make me feel horrible about myself if HE was trying to correct me. He would do it with gentleness and love and I would be excited to change. Wow! I am still letting that sink in!! I have also learned to take it one day at a time and not wonder about a social gathering next week or a trip next month. God is going to help me TODAY!

    • Proverbs 31 Online Bible Studies Team says:

      Beth, we love the advice you got. That is so true. God will not put us down, He always lifts us up. Thanks for sharing. Blessings!

  126. I would have never thought to ask for wisdom!
    It’s that simple.

  127. I’m just getting around to doing the study today… I began potty training my 21/2 ur old son needless to say it’s been a busy day! I would say the “R” I need to work on is recognize. I don’t even realize when I’m talking down to myself. I think with years of self esteem issues, it has come so naturally to me that I don’t even know when I’m doing it! 😬 If I work to recognize the words I’m saying then maybe I can begin to refuse and replace those terrible words!!

  128. I love the 3 “R”s. It’s going to be a great reminder of what I need to do. It will take time but this is definitely a great tool to help me clean out my thought closet.

  129. I have the most trouble recognizing the lies. I have self esteem issues engrained from childhood and even now the same thoughts that plagued me as a child, such as I’ll never be good enough, I will always be too fat,I’m not smart enough, not pretty enough, etc. Still consume my thoughts today. I hide my feelings by burying myself in what ever task I’m working on which I know isn’t the right way to handle it but seems to be the only way to deal with it.

  130. Dawn Wright says:

    I have had a hard time recognizing lies about myself. I too easily accept negative statements. I tend to want objective evidence that the negative statements are not true. But sometimes the evidence shows I did mess up. So that’s when it’s hard to recognize the lie. That’s why I need this study.

  131. I need to work on refusing and replacing. I do seem to recognize that what I’m saying is wrong, but I am still kind if “believing” it too much to refuse it.

  132. I find it the hardest to refuse the lie and not be overcome by the weight of its untruth. I’ve been replacing the lies with truth and trying to repeat that over and over.

  133. Janice Alston says:

    Great video, I must say, that my greatest challenge with the three R’s, would be “Replace”, would be my biggest challenge. Lately, I have been working on replacing my negative thoughts with more positives one. But, I sometimes find myself going backward, by replacing my positive thought’s with negative one’s. That not good , so I am asking God to give me “Wisdom”, to replave all negatives thoughts with positive ones. That’s my goal. I need to put this in my thought closet.

  134. Recognize is the hardest for me. My brain has been thinking this way for decades! This study will allow me to get out of this thought rut and start recognizing negative self talk.

  135. I’m so happy to have learned about the 3 R’s. I now can begin to change those lies to truths. I want to believe the truth God says about me and my son.wisdom is what I want most. I don’t feel like I have much wisdom, but after writing and reading all those Bible verses about wisdom…I’m on my way.God bless all of you ladies! Oh about the 3 R’s I’m tapping that to my cell phone home page as a reminder.Refuse, replace, repeat. ☺

  136. For me Recognize and refuse are the hardest. Am trusting God that He through the holy spirit will help me be sensitive to recognize and refuse the lies. God bless you all for this online bible study.

  137. Susan Green says:

    I would say refuse. This afternoon at work, I felt unqualified in a new position. Then I started thinking others were thinking the same thing, and for the life of me I couldn’t think of one scripture. So refuse and replace are big ones for me. Thanks to all the ladies for sharing.

  138. Wow Kendra the thought you ended with is really good,; at obs we bring it back to the bible, to know the truth and live the truth, and that changes everything.”

  139. Good morning sweet ladies, I’m a bit behind still loving this study. Years ago something came a cross my computer saying when a negative though comes to mind say” Lord , would you get that door.” I often say “Lord we’re not going down that road & I thank you for that. ” them the choir s comes to mind Jesus , theres just something about that nameor Jesus is the sweetest name I know, sometimes I’m not in that frame of mind and have gone down that road or peeked in that door a bit to long. I thank you for your encouragement tokeep on keeping on. God bless each and everyone of you. The enemy is giving me guilt trips about my diet , I’d covert your prayers in this area. Thank you .

    • Proverbs 31 Online Bible Studies Team says:

      Gail, we love this idea. Thank you for sharing with all of us. We lift up prayers for you right now. May you feel His peace. Blessings.

  140. Wow. I am so comforted by the number of strong, brave and honest women.

    I believe that we all struggle with all the areas of the 3 “R’s”. With the video from last week, it has helped me to start thinking about what I am letting the Enemy do to me. I believe the most difficult “R” is replace. Replacing it with God’s given truth is hard. I had caught myself thinking and saying out loud that I am a bad Mom because ….. even if I was just joking but my 16 yr old daughter had told me that I was a good Mom. I tried to accept it but could not replace it with scripture or think of a scripture to replace it with. I guess my main area is also getting to the “R”oot of the problem and trying to stop it from coming into my closet.

  141. Kimberly says:

    The hardest R for me is replace, I can often times recognize it and stop but I’ve not really thought about replacing it with truth especially from Scripture.

  142. I think recognize is my hardest “R”. I never realized all the negative talk that goes on in my mind until I started reading this book. At least I’m beginning to catch myself now.

  143. Wendy Gonzalez says:

    I think Recognizing is the hardest part for me. I’ve allowed myself to speak lies to myself for so long, they sound true any more. 🙁 I’ve read a lot about self talk before and all of that, but I’ve always struggled with negative self talk. In some ways I’m very confident and have a good self-image, but in other ways I’m always coming down hard on myself. I feel if I’m not perfect I’m not good enough, and of course I’m never perfect. Just this morning I realized I left my husband’s shoes at my parents’ house over the weekend (they live 2 hours away, so I can’t just run over there to get them). I’ve been mentally beating myself up all morning, and I realize I just have to let it go and accept that I’m human and I made a mistake. That doesn’t make me less acceptable or less worthy of love, but it started my day off on the wrong foot. I need to let it go and not let it ruin my day.

    • Proverbs 31 Online Bible Studies Team says:

      Hi Wendy. Your advice to yourself is good advice. You are very worthy of love! Remember that and have a wonderful day. We love you too!

  144. Carissa D. Huffman says:

    I agree with the many others here who have said that the REPLACE part is difficult. I have the worst time really believing God’s truth about ME. Others–oh, yes! God loves them dearly. But, I have struggled with the same things over and over for so long that I really have a hard time buying into the fact that I can, indeed overcome.

    I need that renewing of the mind Paul wrote about–powerfully!

    Many Blessings!
    Carissa in eastern Iowa

  145. Christina Wirch says:

    I struggle with refusing and replacing the lies. I have spoken lies to myself for so many years I just believe them. And when I feel down I get caught in the pit of despair and fixiate on the lies instead of fighting them

  146. Refuse is definitely hard for me. I get started on a thought trail and it builds in my mind. I end up in places of fear that I or those I love will be hurt because of my sins and shortcomings. 🙁
    I love Mandisa’s new songs and found a devotional based on them. She says she reminds herself she’s unfinished and god will continue the good work in her. That’s been a real anchor for me to cling to.

  147. SHELIA W says:

    HOnestly, I struggle with all 3 R’s. Must be because it must be such a habit for me to name myself negatively. ‘I don’t look as fashionable, I cant put clothes together to make myself look better, I am dumpy etc etc. But I purpose in my hear to work on the last two R’s this week!

    • Shelia I too struggle with all 3 but I am finally getting better at recognizing those lies, that recognition started before this study started. I am definitely no good at the other 2 R’s but I know this week (and from now on) I am going to work and get to where my thought closet is clean.
      I know you, myself and every other lady doing this study is going to improve and become stronger/better in our thought process.

  148. My goal is to replace the lies with God’s truth. I am getting better at recognizing the lie and even refuse it, but without a new place holder – God’s truth – I may very well be back where I started.

  149. I struggle with all 3 R’s. I’m getting better at recognizing, but it comes late and I still have a tendency to think/say negative things when I realize what I’ve done. It’s a viscous cycle. Glad for this study and the community so I know others experience the same things and I’m not alone.

  150. I struggle with all 3 R’s, but since signing up for this bible study and reading last weeks study I have been able to recognize more of how hard I am to myself sometimes. I would say the most difficult right now would have to be refusing, and replacing. Refusing is hard, but replacing is definitely my most struggled R, I think its because I don’t know what to replace it with, not even sure where to start when I’m replacing so that is what I need to work on this week and beyond. This has been eye opening already and its only week 2!

    • Hi Julie,
      That’s awesome progress that you’re recognizing the lies better! We’ve got lots of great chapters and info coming up to help you learn to start replacing them too 🙂
      Blessings to you on your #NoMoreLies journey,

  151. Karen M says:

    In the busyness of life I need step one: recognize the lie.

  152. Sharon Witty says:

    I just tried to download the study for Week 2 and nothing was there except gibberish. Help!

    • Hi Sharon, are you trying to download the printable or digital version and what device are you using? You should be able to download and view the Bible study from any device. However, you can only fill in the digital version from a desktop or laptop. Hope that helps 🙂

    • Proverbs 31 Online Bible Studies says:

      Sharon, Please check your email. When you do. Please let us know if that link worked. Thank you for letting us know.

  153. I think they are all equally difficult in their own way. Like, I’m halfway through putting things in my closet before I even realize that I’ve wardrobed myself with negativity. Then, I’m such a stewer that I will continuously play things over in my mind so I have an equally hard time refusing it. Lastly, while I know scripture, I have been so negative to myself for so long that it’s hard for me to see myself as a child of God or a conqueror or any other name that we are called in scripture. Hopefully these 3Rs will help me to change that!

  154. I need to get better at recognizing the lies. I haven’t been intentional about paying attention to my self-talk. When I stop and listen with the ears of Truth, it’s easy to spot the lies. To begin to shut the door on these thoughts I need to be be intentional to pay attention and hold all my thoughts up to the light of God’s Truth.

  155. After many years of thinking the wrong thoughts about myself, I find that it’s sometimes hard to recognize them. It’s become such a pattern of thinking. I would like to quickly recognize when I’m listening to them so that I can take quicker action. I have to repeat the truth over and over. Wouldn’t it by wonderful if our default response is according to what God thinks about us instead of the lies?

  156. Megan Welch says:

    Sometimes all 3 can be difficult. Recognizing because I’ve told myself the lie for so long I don’t see it as a lie, refusing because I’ve grown to believe the lie & replacing is hard if you can’t see it for what it is.

  157. Carol j says:

    Jennifer mentions 2 books of the Bible. Would you please provide verse she was referencing 2 Cor & Eph2.? Loving the study!

  158. I think for me it is Recognize what I am doing actually is hindering me. It is such a habit or I am so use to it that I do not identify it to be something wrong. I am so use to people saying stuff like, I am dumb or miserable that I take it to be normal but it isn’t and it does upset me when it is said and I don’t take it to be a joke like they insist it is. For instance, someone does something wrong and I am against it because it is morally not correct and they say i am miserable, mean or think I am better than they are. So to recognize, refuse and know what to replace those words I guess I need to know what to replace them with.

    • Amy Stanley says:

      You took some of the words right out of my mouth. I can recognize and refuse but I don’t know what to replace the lie with or how to find the truth in scripture. That’s what I’m going to need to work on. Spending more time in the Word is what I need to do but I feel like I don’t know where to begin.

  159. Zonia Rodriguez says:

    My hardest R is replacing the lie with a truth. I have become so accustomed to believeing the lie that its hard to see the truth. I know who I am and whose I am but sometimes its hard to see what God sees.

  160. Gina Troyer says:

    This whole process is hard, and I love the 3 R’s because it gives us a specific plan for defeating the lies!!! I’m working on replacing words like “you’re a failure” and “You’re a disappointment to others” with positive words!

  161. Cathy Ledvina says:

    Since I have retired, I have loved staying up later, but this also then makes me sleep in later. So, as I get out of bed, I do sometimes say, “You are an idiot! Why did you stay up so late last night?” First of all, I need to change my sleep habits, but secondly, I need to remember that God does not make idiots! Such a great takeaway this week for me!

  162. Denise Moyer says:

    Loving this study! The Proverbs 31 team are doing an awesome job! thanks y’all! 🙂
    One thing that helps me if a lie pops out my mouth, is to recognize that I’m “Agreeing” with the enemy of my soul. So I stop, repent for agreeing with the enemy & speak the truth….No, I’m not stupid! I have the mind of Christ! And He Renews my mind & Instructs my heart!
    So that is my battle plan. & I speak that truth throughout the day. And if possible I say it out loud. & will ad to it, as many truths that I can think of.
    Speaking Life Today!

  163. I find it hard to replace the negative words with truth. I need to make more time to read the word and memorize scripture so I can replace negative thoughts with Gods truth.

    • Linda G says:

      I love to use the concordance in the back of my Bible for this. It’s like an online keyword search!
      Or if you are on a computer, is awesome for searching keywords. I find out the antonym (Opposite definition) of the negative words or phrases I am speaking to myself and I search for those opposites.
      When I am calling myself stupid, I look up verses with keyword = “Wisdom” ….
      My favorite dictionary site is (Miriam Webster dictionary). Try it and let me know if you like it!

  164. Christy G. says:

    I’m torn between Recognize and Replace. So many times these lies are so sneaky that they can be hard to recognize. They appear to be truth, if I’m not willing or don’t take the time to really look at them and determine if they are truth or a lie. So I need to take the time to really look at what I’m saying to myself and analyzing whether or not it’s the truth. As for Replace, it, too, can be hard to come up with the time to really come up with a solid truth to replace the lie with. Again, it really comes down to making it a priority to take the time to determine these things. They’re totally worth it. I just need to make them a higher priority.

  165. Yvette Taylor says:

    I’m definitely lacking in the consistency in getting into God’s word for the very reason of feeling like I don’t always understand and feel like everyone gets so much more from it than I do. Ugh….LIES!!! That is exactly what the devil wants me to believe to keep me from living in the will of God and living out what he has for me. So need this study..thank you ladies for your ministry!!!

  166. BETH OGDEN says:

    I am still working to Recognize. I thought maybe this study wasn’t for me. I don’t name call. My thought closet isn’t full of negative self talk. Boy was I wrong!! My husband also pointed it out. I do it a lot more than I realized. Working to change all that.

    • Linda G says:

      It’s tough to be wrong and then face that reality!! Thank God for husbands that are not scared to point it out and help us work through it. (I have a good one of those too!). <3

  167. I would have to say that I am working really hard with all 3 of the “R”‘s. I have a history of sexual abuse as a child which lead to domestic violence relationships in my adult years. I have slowly, through Counseling and Gods word, been working through all the lies that these men have beat into my mind and made me believe about my self. It is getting easier but at times I still find it hard to accept compliments. I know this study is one that I was meant to do and I am so glad that I was able to find it.

  168. I had the opportunity to practice the “three R’s” a couple of days ago! I was leaving a family member’s house that lives pretty far away. I was almost home when I realized I couldn’t find my cellphone. I had to turn around and go all the way back. It was late, and I was beating myself up about why I couldn’t be more responsible. I was heading down this path of self-condemnation when I remembered about our study. Thankfully, I was able to end those destructive thoughts–especially since I found that my phone was in my car the whole time!!!

  169. My heart hurts for you, Angel. I am so proud that you’re going to counseling and doing what you can to get healing from the pain that was inflicted on you. You are very BRAVE! God bless you, sister.

  170. Linda G says:

    I think the “R” that I find so hard is Recognize. And it’s not recognizing the bad things I say to myself, but rather the bad things I say out loud, and most of the time, it’s after those bad things are out!! I need more grace to keep my mouth shut. I need Jesus to help me there! But I love how Jennifer gives up hope in that as we recognize, refuse the bad stuff, and replace it with truth, we will get better at clothing ourselves in that truth.

  171. Theresa Benitez says:

    I struggle with all three of the “R’s.” I have always had low self esteem & very self conscious when I am around a group of people, especially if I don’t know them. I had always felt that someone was talking about me, how I look, how I talk, that I’m not a good enough Christian, I’m stupid, etc. I could go on forever, but I won’t. I was getting this under control when I finally gave it all to the Lord years ago. Example of this is after losing my job in retail of 23 years, instead of blaming myself & having a lot of negative self talk, I prayed & gave it to the Lord & He opened the door for me to go back to college at the age of 45. I chose a new career path & graduated in 2014 with a Bachelor’s in Social Work. While I was interning at a shelter (only 5 minutes from my house) for homeless & abused woman & children, they offered me a position which I accepted. So all was going well, I had a new career, a job before I graduated, & I was doing what I was so passionate about: SERVING others & helping those in need. I felt so blessed, my negative self talk had almost disappeared, & I loved the Lord with all my heart. But, here comes that “but” we all dread. A little over a year of working at the shelter, on Aug. 28, 2015, I was on my way to pick up my clients to take them to a job fair, when in an instant, I was in a life changing car accident. I was in the hospital for over three weeks, which I had 3 surgeries. I had broken my leg, ankle, & pretty much either broke or crushed every bone in my foot. I lost my job, my car, & my self esteem again. Now, almost two years later & a total of 6 surgeries, praise Jesus, I am able to work with the use of an orthopedic boot & crush. But since it’s been so long since my car accident all the negative self talk is coming back. Even though it’s not my fault, I’ve been allowing satan to attack me. I am not able to work, so at times I feel so useless. Instead of being thankful for what I have (I have a loving husband for over 30 years, 4 amazing sons, & 7 grandchildren), I am always putting myself down & telling myself I should be doing more (even though I am doing everything the doctor’s have told me to do). Sometimes I just feel stuck & that I am not worthy. Again, it’s that negative self talk that we allow satan to put in our head.
    So, I am so thankful for this Bible Study, it came at just the right time for me. I love how God speaks to us through others. Thank you for this Bible Study & thanking for allowing me to share some of my struggles. I look forward to completing this Bible Study with all of you amazing beautiful ladies. God Bless.

    • Linda G says:

      Theresa, I will be praying for you! We all have these valleys of life that are hard to get out of sometimes. I am praying in Jesus’ name for Satan to get out of your head, and for the path out of this valley to be found and new doors to open for you to feel fulfilled. Social work is a great field.

  172. Cassandra Boyce says:

    I’m a little behind. But catching up. SO I think the hardest is the Refuse. But curretnly just recognizing that I’m doing it. I feel that it has become so second natrue that I don’t always realzie I’m doing it! So FIRST I must learn to even recognize cognatively that I am saything these horrible things to myself- to catch myself in the act if you will. THEN I can work on the hardest part of finding a refute for them.

  173. My goodness it’s hard for me to pick one because my struggle is with All 3 of them!!
    I even speak it to my husband what I am not. I have a skin issues that cause dark spots on my face that I think are horrible so that is what i focus on rather than the beautiful soul God has within me and that He made me in HIS image. I forget that and replace it with horrible things.

  174. Amy Sparks says:

    What’s the most difficult “R” for you?
    I think mine is actually recognizing the lie. I’m so used to it! But I am slowly starting to recognize them and working to replace them!

    What can you do to shut the door on your negative thoughts?
    I find that it is sometimes easier to recognize and refuse the lies if I stay in a positive place, so I am constantly working to stay positive and not let negative thoughts, people or circumstances affect or define me. It’s a struggle and lots of times I fail, sometimes for a little while and sometimes for just a few minutes.

  175. Carolina says:

    The most difficult R for me is Recognize

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