Declutter Your Way to a Better Marriage

Alright, y’all! It’s P31 OBS Content Coordinator, Kendra Schwarz here, & do we have a special treat for you! Author of The Husband Project, Kathi Lipp, has something special she wants to share! Take it away, Kathi! 

Kathi Lipp, author of "The Husband Project"When I talk to women about what they want to improve in their lives, so many say something along these lines: “I want to focus on my husband this year. And I want to finally get organized. And lose weight!”

OK – so I may not be able to help you with the weight thing. But what if told you that you could improve both your marriage and your home at the same time?

It turns out that the state of our clutter and the state of our marriage could be more closely tied than we ever imagined.

Researchers at UCLA’s Center on Everyday Lives and Families (CELF) did a study that looked at the relationship between 32 California families and the thousands of objects in their homes.

To the surprise of no woman reading this, clutter has a profound effect on our mood and self-esteem. CELF’s scientists found a link between high cortisol (stress hormone) levels in female home owners and a high density of household objects. In other words: The more stuff, the more stress. So you’re not crazy for getting all bent out of shape when your husband leaves his shoes by the front door …

And we all know, if we’re not happy, that is going to have a profound effect on our marriage — and our husband.

There are some areas of our marriage where it takes two to pull off a big relationship boost – but when it comes to clutter, one person can make a huge difference! And even if the shoes pile back up, and the mail stays unorganized on the desk, we can still commit to having a great attitude toward our husband. This might be hard sometimes, but it could be the simplest action we take toward a better marriage.

"If nothing else, commit to having a great attitude toward your husband." @KathiLipp #TheHusbandProject | Proverbs 31 Online Bible Studies Week 2 #P31OBS

Here are my two favorite marriage-boosting areas to declutter now:

  1. The space that greets you when you come home.

My hope for every couple is that their home is a haven for their marriage. I want you and your man to walk into your house after a long day fighting the battles of the world, and land in a soft place – your home.

But that only works if you don’t have chaos and distraction greeting you as you hit the door. Wherever your first glimpse of home is at the end of the day, make sure that it rises up to greet you.

  1. Your bedroom.

If your home is your haven, you want your bedroom to be your nest. That place that blocks out everything from the world and is all about you and your man. That’s hard to do when you have to un-bury your bed every time you want to cuddle up.

Stay tuned for ideas from Nicki on how to spruce up your bedroom on a budget coming Friday, July 15th. 

Psalm 122:8 says, “For the sake of my family and friends, I will say, ‘Peace be within you.’That is what I want in my home. Peace for my family and friends, but especially for me and my man. How about you?

Let’s Chat:

Which one area of your home could you spend 15 minutes de-cluttering so you and your husband can be more at peace?

*Still hoping to win a prize? You still have time! Comment on the blog today to be entered in this week’s prize pack. We’ll choose the winner today at Noon ET!

P.S. Still waiting on your book? Click the “Download Now” button for this week’s reading! Thank you to Harvest House Publishers for providing this for us!

The Husband Project "Download Now" button

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Mrs. Deeds

"Mrs. Deeds" by Nicki Koziarz | Proverbs 31 Online Bible Studies | #TheHusbandProject #P31OBSGood deeds. Do they come easily for you?

Hey, everyone! Nicki Koziarz here with you to talk all about doin’ good deeds for your man!

When I was dating my now-husband, Kris, I couldn’t wait to do nice things for him. I was always thinking of a way I could sneak in a visit to see him by needing to “drop off” something for him.

One of his favorites was a cheeseburger from the place with the golden arches. So one time, in an effort to see him, I called him and completely made up a story of how I’d gotten an extra burger from his favorite place.

I totally did not have an extra burger or any burger from said place.  

But when I offered to bring the “extra burger” over to his apartment, he was really excited. So I quickly scooted myself to the golden arches drive thru and bought him that burger.

It sounds so crazy now to think I did that!

Good deeds felt easy, exciting and were simple when we were dating.

Fast forward 16 years, three kids, two busy businesses, a fixer-upper farm full of eye-rolling circumstances and good deeds are often the last thing on my mind.

I don’t really struggle to do good deeds on birthdays, anniversaries or special celebrations. Those feel like a natural place for good deeds. But why do we wait to celebrate and honor the ones we love the most?

This is why I need our verse this week:

“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.

Hebrews 10:24 (NIV 84)

Hebrews 10:24 (NIV 84) | "And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds." | Proverbs 31 Online Bible Studies | Week 1 verse of the week | #TheHusbandProject #P31OBS

I need to remember that love and good deeds go hand-in-hand. So today I have a special title I want to give you and me:

Mrs. Deeds

It’s kinda cheesy but not as cheesy as the movie Mr. Deeds. Ha! :) But hear me out …

“Mrs. Deeds” … I think she has a lot of good deeds on her mind. Her name just oozes the commitment to love and do good. She is thinking of her husband in ways she’s never thought of him before. As she goes through the good deed of the day during The Husband Project, she can rest in knowing she is truly living out this verse, Hebrews 10:24. She believes in the power of love which flows from action. And because of her obedience to God through this process, good deeds for her husband will continue to be on her mind, even after these Online Bible Study days have passed.

Mrs. Deeds is a good title. For you and for me. Let’s wear it well today to help us remember this verse and this process.

Still waiting on your book? Do not fear because OBS is here! Click the “Weekly Lowdown” button to get this week’s suggested study plan + this week’s reading!


Let’s Chat:

Does doing good deeds come naturally for you or is it hard? Read a few different translations of the verse of the week to help grasp what it’s saying. What is your favorite translation & why?

Reminder! Everyone who leaves a comment here on the blog will be entered to win this week’s prize package!

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Don’t have your book? We’ve got ya covered!

Melissa Taylor from Proverbs 31 Online Bible StudiesHey y’all! It’s Melissa! I need to talk to y’all about something important. Especially if you are still waiting on your Husband Project book.

It has come to my understanding that MANY of you who ordered from Amazon are still waiting for yours. I’m so sorry about that. Although it’s not in my power to get your book to you sooner, I did want you to know that we are aware and doing all we can to make sure you are taken care of. For starters, Harvest House Publishers has given us 148 pages of The Husband Project to share with you! How generous is that?

This will get you through the first 3 weeks of this study! Thank you Harvest House Publishers!

We don’t want those of you waiting for books to get discouraged and quit because you don’t have yours. Remember, your marriage is worth it and so are you. Don’t you dare let a late book keep you from doing The Husband Project.

In an effort to help you out even more, I am sharing 10 project ideas with you here. Some are from the book and some are ideas our team used while doing The Husband Project.

The following are in no certain order. You can use some of these or make up your own.

  1. Spread great gossip about your husband! Tell your friends some great things about him or something nice he’s done for you. It counts even if he never knows about it.
  2. Text or email him a sweet message.
  3. Notice great things he does and let him know you notice.
  4. Movie Night for Him — Let him pick the flick, watch with him (even if it’s not your favorite!).
  5. Working Together — Find a project the two of you can do together.
  6. Stress-Be-Gone — Eliminate something that makes him crazy.
  7. Pray for him periodically throughout day. (Again, even if he doesn’t know about it, it still counts!)
  8. Breakfast in Bed — Serve him breakfast in bed or create an experience that will be meaningful to him.
  9. Favorite Meal — Pick a night to cook his favorite or take him to his favorite restaurant.
  10. Kiss him — Like really kiss him. You can decide when and where!

Thank you for your patience and for sticking with it! And now I have a fun invitation for those of you on Twitter!

Consider yourself INVITED to tonight’s P31 OBS Twitter Party! That’s right! We are celebrating all that’s going in our biggest study ever — #TheHusbandProject!

We don’t want you to miss the action. Throwback pictures, giveaways, and date night ideas? Uh, yes please! It’s going to be the ultimate girl party! Below are all the details you need to know!

Where: @P31OBS Twitter. Click here to see the venue 😉

When: Tonight 9 p.m. ET

Attire: Casual. Very casual.

Details: Use hashtags #P31OBS and #TheHusbandProject to join in the fun.


Can’t wait to see you! I’ll be there! And thanks again for being a part of our #TheHusbandProject OBS!


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