When I can feel an argument brewing, I have to remember my goal is to tackle the issue not the person.
When I approach a conflict by attacking the person, I throw out condemning, hurtful statements, but when I tackle an issue, I ask questions. For instance, “Can you help me understand why you feel this way?” or “What can I do to make this situation better?”
By seeking to understand their perspective, I shift from trying to prove I am right to trying to improve the relationship
When I set out to prove I’m right, it always leads to conflict escalation. When I set out to improve the relationship, it leads to conflict resolution.
It isn’t always easy, but it is so much better to throw out a gentle question rather than a bitter, condemning statement.
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Unglued by Lysa TerKeurst
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