“Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don’t try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he’s the One who will keep you on track. Don’t assume that you know it all. Run to God! Run from evil!” Proverbs 3:5-7. (The Message)

It seems that the longer I’ve been married, more and more frequently I hear of struggling Christian marriages. I know these couples never intended to be in such a desperate place. When they said their wedding vows of “for better or worse,” they never imagined that the “worse” part would include thoughts of divorce appearing as a good option.

When I hear about these couples, I turn my thoughts toward my own marriage. I hug my husband tightly and whisper prayers of thanksgiving that we are together, committed, and growing closer.

You see, this hasn’t always been the case for us. For about half of our fifteen years of marriage, we fought constantly and although we loved each other passionately, we just couldn’t figure out how to be married or how to be a couple.

Finally, in desperation, I cried out to God asking Him what I should do. His answer surprised me. In the still, small voice in my heart, God told me to surrender my marriage to Him. I knew that the key to surrendering my marriage was trusting God. Instead of trying to be in control by telling my husband and God what to do, I learned to set my eyes on Christ and to ask Christ what He wanted me to do in my marriage.

Since that day, I have focused on being the kind of wife God wants me to be. I have searched the Scriptures, and one step at a time I have obeyed God’s commands for being a godly wife.

Many times it has felt like two steps forward and one step back. But that’s still progress! God has transformed our marriage into one of friendship, intimacy, and laughter, instead of the strife-filled marriage we had previously experienced.

God knows all about your marriage. He knows all about you. He knows all about your husband. Your marriage is a gift from Him, and can bring God glory and you joy when you surrender your marriage to Him. Start today by trusting God, and see what happens as you allow God to transform your marriage.

Dear Lord, thank you for my husband and my marriage. I want the marriage You want me to have, Lord. I confess that I’ve tried to make it into what I want it to be, not necessarily what You want. I surrender myself and my marriage into Your loving hands and Your sovereign Lordship. Give me the desire and strength to be the kind of wife You want me to be. Then I know I’ll be the wife my husband needs. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

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Related Resources:

Do you know Him?



What a Husband Needs from His Wife by Melanie Chitwood



For expert marriage advice, visit Growthtrac

Application Steps:

Pray a prayer surrendering your marriage to God. Pray with your hands open to symbolize the release of your marriage to God. Another idea to represent this release is to write your name and your husband’s name on a balloon before it’s inflated, blow it up, and then release it in the air.

Reflections:

What would you like your marriage to look like today? One year from now? Five years from now? Ten years from now? Ask God to give you a hope and a vision for your marriage.

What’s one thing can you stop doing because you know it doesn’t create oneness in your marriage?

In Colossians 3: 14 we’re told to “put on love.” What’s one thing you can do today to show your husband you love him?

Sometimes we hesitate to surrender to God because of our fears. Can you identify any fears you have in your marriage? As God to reveal these to you, ask Him to take away your fear and to replace it with His truth.

What two or three questions can I ask here to further contemplate this topic?

Power Verses:

1 Peter 4:8, “Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins” (NLT).

Proverbs 3:27, “Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due when it is in your power to do it” (NAS).

Ephesians 4:32, “And become useful and helpful and kind to one another, tenderhearted (compassionate, understanding, loving-hearted), forgiving one another [readily and freely], as God in Christ forgave you” (AMP).

2 Timothy 1:7, “For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and love and discipline” (NAS).