But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control

“.” Galatians 5:22-23 (NLT)

Gentleness is part of being feminine - part of being a woman, and God made us distinctly different from men on purpose! God wants us to bring our gentleness to our marriages, to love our husbands with the tender love of God. Our tenderness woos our husbands and allows them to be vulnerable in return.

We can show our husbands gentleness in many ways—a soft touch, a sweet smile, a kind deed, and a caring tone of voice. We show gentleness when we are considerate, patient, understanding, forgiving and not easily offended or irritated.

Think about the opposite of gentle—harsh, pushy, insistent, demanding, caustic, and argumentative. Are you more likely to respond to your husband in gentleness or harshness?

Sometimes I think we fear being gentle because we fear we’ll appear weak or vulnerable. We see in Scripture that God is both a mighty warrior and a tender Shepherd. In Isaiah 40:10 and 11 we read, “See, the Sovereign LORD comes with power …He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart” (NIV). In the same way a woman can be both gentle toward her husband and strong. Consider the ways of a mother with her child; she is the one who scoops her child into her arms and hugs him tighter than tight, and she’s also the one who is fiercely protective of her child’s well-being.

As I was discussing the idea of a wife being gentle, an acquaintance shook his head and said, “My wife makes me think of the blows of a sledge hammer. There’s nothing gentle about her. She’s like a run-away bus and you just better get out of her way.”

Let’s practice the application steps below. Let’s watch our marriages flourish as we practice being more like the caress of a gentle breeze rather than the blows of a sledge hammer.

Dear Lord, Thank You, Heavenly Father, that You are both a mighty Warrior and a tender Shepherd. Help me to be a wife who is both strong and gentle. Fill me with Your Spirit and make me gentle like You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

***

Related Resources:

What a Husband Needs from His Wife by Melanie Chitwood

For more on marriage issues visit the Growthtrac website

Do you know Him?

Application Steps:

Enjoy God’s quiet presence and tender love.

Don’t let harshness become a bad habit. Begin to replace it with gentleness.

Practice patience.

Refrain from interrupting, correcting or nagging your husband.

Think before you speak. Do you really need to say what you’re about to say?

Spend time with friends or family who have a gentle spirit and observe.

Reflections:

How do you think being gentle helps your marriage? How does harshness hinder your marriage?

Do you have any fears about being gentle toward your husband? Be honest before the Lord and ask Him to give you His gentleness.

Power Verses:

Proverbs 15: 1 “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” (NAS)

Matthew 11:29, “’Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.’”(NIV)