“And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love.” Romans 8:38a (NLT)

For most of my life, I’ve been a people-pleasing, rule-following second-guesser.

I’m also at the tail end of what I call the “everything era” — the span of years during which we make many of the biggest decisions of our lives, all at the same time, in front of an opinionated audience.

(Yes, Aunt Sharon, I know you had three kids by the time you were my age. Yes, I know I’m not getting any younger.)

Over the last 10 years, I’ve wrestled with so many big decisions:

Is this man going to be my husband?
Where’s home?
Which job should I take?
Are we ready to have kids?
What am I doing with my life?

It felt like there must be a right way to do all of this, and I was certainly getting it all wrong.

I didn’t want to fall short of anyone’s expectations (including my own!). But most of all, I worried about disappointing God. I wanted to make Him proud, to return the love He’s so generously given to me. And without even realizing it, I started writing my definition of what that might look like.

Every time I read a book, listened to a sermon, or saw a post on social media, my list of what I “should” be doing got longer. As you can imagine, this constant striving (and failing) didn’t bring me closer to God.

One day, I was trying to make a big decision — running through my pros-and-cons list for the thousandth time with a friend. As I was diving into another round of “what ifs,” my friend looked me in the eye and said, “Stephanie, you get to decide.”

There’s not one right way to build a life. A beautiful life isn’t one-size-fits-all, and that truth has changed everything for me.

I spent years frantically looking for one right answer to questions that didn’t have one. These were my calls to make. They’re your calls to make too.

This is true with who you marry, where your career path leads, whether you have kids, and where you call home. Even the best options have some good and some hard aspects, and it’s up to you what specific combination of good and hard you’re willing to live with.

Yes, sometimes God has one exact answer for us. Sometimes there’s a clear right and wrong.

But the rest of the time, we get to make confident, creative decisions for ourselves and our families — not striving to earn God’s love but knowing that we already have it and can never lose it.

As Paul says in Romans 8:38a: “I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love.”

Your life can — and should — be a beautiful, unique reflection of what’s important to you, the woman who chose it. Your life should look like you. So create a life you love.

God, when You have a specific plan for an area of my life, please show me. As I follow Your will, please help me make confident, creative and authentic decisions for myself and my family without fear or timidity. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

OUR FAVORITE THINGS

We’re loving Stephanie May Wilson’s new book, Create a Life You Love: How to Quiet Outside Voices So You Can Finally Hear Your Own. This book offers a guided journey of self-discovery, helping women take the pressure off what they think their lives are supposed to look like by now — so they can intentionally, confidently and authentically build the lives they actually want to live.

ENGAGE

For more from Stephanie May Wilson, follow her on Instagram, or check out her podcast, where she helps women navigate big decisions and life transitions one Girls Night at a time!

Enter to WIN your very own copy of Create a Life You Love by Stephanie May Wilson. To celebrate this book, Stephanie’s publisher will give away 5 copies! Enter to win by leaving a comment here. {We’ll randomly select 5 winners and then notify each one in the comments section by Monday, May 6, 2024.}

FOR DEEPER STUDY

Joshua 1:9, “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go” (NIV).

What “shoulds” feel particularly heavy to you in this season of your life?

How does it feel to hear that you get to decide and that there’s not one right way to build your life?

© 2024 by Stephanie May Wilson. All rights reserved.

Proverbs 31 Ministries thanks Zondervan for their sponsorship of today’s devotion.

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