“The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands.” Psalm 19:1 (NIV)
One afternoon, I was sitting on the ocean shore, wondering where God was.
His creation always seems to have a message about Him if I pay close attention. A verse I love to remember is Psalm 19:1: “The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands.” If I can’t see the work of His hands the way I thought I would in my circumstances, I want to see His work somewhere else.
Earlier that morning, I had received an email informing me a harsh article about me had just been released. I was already in a season that had caused me so much anxiety and pain. The article's accusations were troubling, and I had plenty of evidence to refute them.
But the writer never contacted me to check the facts. They published their words for all the world to read. Other media outlets followed suit. And there was nothing I could do about it.
Struggling to get my pulse to slow down and my hands to stop shaking, I just kept staring out at the vast ocean, asking, God, Why? Why does it seem like, once again, a person who is causing me so much pain is getting away with it?
I don’t know how long I sat there in stunned silence, trying to paint pictures in my mind of a future scenario where things finally turned out OK. I imagined myself writing in my journal one day: Look how God defended me. His justice finally came about. Look at how He brought it all together better than ever. This all makes sense now. I can finally exhale.
But I still don’t have that page in my journal.
I have not yet seen the justice of God in several situations. And maybe I won’t on this side of eternity. There’s lots of goodness in my life now, but I still have to fight hard not to entertain the bitterness that invites me to pitch a tent right in the unfairness and camp out in it.
Otherwise, constantly thinking about what God doesn’t seem to be doing — and about my desire for my version of justice to come about — can become a focus and then, over time, an obsession. If left unattended, it can become a stronghold for the enemy of my soul.
However the unfairness of your situation is playing out right now, I want you to know that you’re not alone. I understand how hard it is to step into the future fully when the past won’t stay in the past. And it’s doubly hard when our desire for things to be fair makes the fight against bitterness and resentment exhausting on a soul level. And it’s even harder when it makes no sense why God isn’t saying “no more” and stopping this.
I imagine that whether your trust and your heart have been broken by a friend, spouse, sibling, parent, leader or another significant person, you know the fight I’m talking about. If their hurtful actions are still happening, I bet you’re exhausted and frustrated too. Maybe parts of your story, like mine, have turned around, but there is still pain being caused.
I’m so sorry for what you’ve gone through, friend.
If you get nothing else out of this devotion today, I want you to get this: We may never see the justice we long for on this side of eternity. Some will. But many will not. I can’t explain this, but I’m working hard to accept it. Some days I feel like I can make peace with it. Other days I try, but it’s so hard. Still, I’m clinging to this truth with all my heart, and I hope you will too: The absence of justice isn’t evidence of the absence of God.
He is with you, now and every day moving forward. This is something you can be sure of no matter what.
God, I don’t want to feel bitter toward You or the people who have hurt me. Please help me keep my heart soft instead of skeptical as I choose to move forward and follow Your direction for my life. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
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Psalm 27:14, “Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD” (NIV).
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