“they will eat the fruit of their ways and be filled with the fruit of their schemes.” Proverbs 1:31 (NIV)

I was sitting in the sand, watching the salty water inch closer and closer. The tide was coming in, and I knew if I didn’t move, the water would soon wash over me and my stuff.

The beauty of the ocean comes with the reality of the tide.

Many things in life come as a package deal like this. When we choose to participate with part of it, we participate with all of it. Relationships. Jobs. Homeownership. Even vacations are this way.

All these things come with fun parts and hard parts. And sin is no different. We must remember this about our own sin and also about other people’s sins against us.

When others intentionally wrong us and blatantly hurt us but never seem to face consequences for any of it, the apparent lack of fairness stirs up bitterness, unforgiveness and even retaliation.

The truth that helps me manage these hurtful situations is that when people sin against us, they also unleash into their lives the consequences of that sin. We may never see it. In fact, it may look like they just got away with everything. But there are many scriptures throughout the Bible, like Proverbs 1:31, that show “they will eat the fruit of their ways and be filled with the fruit of their schemes.”

And as a girl whose heart is wired for justice, that brings me so much relief.

You see, we can trust God with others’ consequences while making sure we don’t get lured into sinful choices by our own bitterness and unforgiveness. And when feelings start rising up inside of us, we must get honest with ourselves and call those feelings what they really are.

Bitterness, for example, does not protect us from getting hurt again. It also doesn’t hurt the person who hurt us. It is the very place where the enemy can lure us into his schemes and where we can be so very tempted to sin.

Friend, I don’t know what relational hurt you may be carrying today, but let me encourage you with this: Your strength is found in humility. When we are humble, it doesn’t mean we are bowing down in defeat. It means we are rising up to declare no one has the power to make us betray who we really are in Christ. We can stand up for what is right, have hard conversations, and even confront things that need to be addressed — in equal measures of grace and truth — all without losing the best of who we are.

Your heart is much too beautiful a place to be tainted by hurt, haunted by resentment or held back by bitterness. We may feel hurt, but that doesn’t mean we have to live lives that perpetuate that hurt.

Father God, today I bring my difficult relationship situations to You. I know You see me struggle and have not left me to figure this out on my own. When unforgiveness, bitterness, resentment and judgment rise up in my heart, please help me healthily process those feelings. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

OUR FAVORITE THINGS

When others blatantly hurt us but never seem to suffer consequences for any of it, the unfairness of the situation can stir up bitterness and send us spiraling. On top of that, it can increase our distrust of people or even of God as we question what He will allow next. If you find yourself dealing with the aftermath of what someone else has done, wondering if things will eventually be made right, Lysa TerKeurst has created a FREE resource just for you: “When the Person Who Hurt You Got Away With It: 3 Days to Moving Forward.” Download today!

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FOR DEEPER STUDY

Romans 12:17-19, “Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord” (NIV).

What is challenging about Romans 12:17-19? What is encouraging about these verses as you surrender any hard relationships into God’s hands?

We’d love to hear from you! Share your thoughts in the comments.

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